You guys, this last year has been so whack. So many crazy things going on, new opportunities for me and some not so good things. But alas, I have returned! And to compensate a little for the long wait, here's an EXTRA long chapter for you all! Going forward, thing are definitely going to start picking up, so the content in this chapter WILL be important later on... :).
As always, if you like what you're reading, please feel free to follow, favorite, and leave a review of what ya think!
As Christmas time quickly approaches and the kids come closer to winter break, Ellie finds herself wondering what in the world she's going to do this year.
Her fretting eventually lands her up into the attic, biting her lip as she realizes the sticky situation she might be in. If she's careful enough maybe she can climb back down the latter with a tub of decorations without making too much of a mess...
"This is going to end badly..." she murmurs to herself, but she sighs, descends halfway down the ladder, and pulls on the tub to bring it down with her. Slowly, slowly...
"The frag are you doing?"
"AH-" Ellie yelps and misses a step, sending the tub tumbling down on top of her. She loses her balance and braces for a rough landing, only to fall into strong arms that catch her right away. Unfortunately the tub turns over on the way down and Ellie ends up covered in feet of colorful tinsel and garland.
"Jeez, Crosshairs!" Ellie coughs and tears the decorations off, grumbling as she sees it all strewn out on the floor, "Damnit, it's everywhere!"
She hears an amused huff from the Autobot holding her steady. As he helps her up, he snickers, "Sorry, doll. Didn't mean to scare ya. Got a little, uh..."
Crosshairs plucks a string of silver tinsel out of her hair, taking a long, confused look at it, "What's all this slag?"
"That's tinsel. It's a Christmas decoration," Ellie snatches it, giving him one last glare before she begins to pick up everything and stuff it all back into the tub, "And now I have to pick this all up thanks to you, you big menace!"
He snorts, which is a reaction Ellie was hoping to get. He kneels down with her though, and begins to help her. With a teasing grin, Ellie grabs some green garland and tosses it around the Autobot's neck. Crosshairs makes a disgruntled noise and rips it off, giving her a look.
"That's what you get for scaring me," she says, poking his chest with a finger. He raises a brow, clearly not amused, which only makes Ellie laugh a little. Once all of the spilled items have been safely packed into the tub once again, she sighs and sits back, "Well, it's going to be fun figuring out what to do with all of this. Hey, while you're here, do you mind carrying this to my bedroom?"
"Sure," Crosshairs takes and tub easily and together they squeeze around the attic ladder and into her room, where Ellie directs him to set it down near the bed. All around her room are other containers with wraps, ornaments, and other Christmas themed decorations she's pulled from the attic. Crosshairs takes a curious look around.
"Have you ever experienced Christmas before?" Ellie asks, gauging his wondrous expression.
"Kind of. Human soldiers celebrated it on base. Never understood it. Or cared to, at the time," he plucks a round ornament from a nearby box and twirls it between his fingers, "What's the big deal with it?"
Ellie pushes some boxes and containers around while she speaks, "Well, there's many meanings behind Christmas. Many people celebrate it religiously as the birthday of Jesus Christ. Others celebrate it for simpler reasons. In the end, though, Christmas is all about giving and sharing," she sighs softly to herself, picking out a handmade ornament she had once put together with her mother, "It's about spending time with people you love and appreciate."
She shows the ornament to Crosshairs as he kneels down beside her. It's a small picture of her and her mother. Ellie was maybe ten years old at the time. The picture is framed by glued popsicle sticks, feathers, glitter, and string. She lets Crosshairs take it and examine it, "That's my mom - my carrier, if you will. I have one with my dad, too." After a short moment of digging she finds the one with her father, "Here it is..."
Ellie smiles fondly. Her parents will always be very dear to her, so she always uses these two special ornaments every year. Crosshairs eventually hands back the one with her mother and offers a small smile, "You look like her."
"Yeah, I took after her," she says with a soft laugh. Her mother had blonde hair and blue eyes, where her father had dark brown hair with dark eyes to go with. Between her and Jenny, Ellie definitely has the gentle features of their mother. With a curious glance at Crosshairs, she nudges his shoulder, "What about you, big guy? Do you resemble one of your parents - creators, sorry - more than the other?"
Crosshairs pauses. He hasn't thought about his own creators for a long, long time. He generally tries not to, ever since...
"We are sorry, Crosshairs. There is nothing more we can do for your sire..."
He shakes his head, "Uh... not really. Kind of a mix between 'em both."
Crosshairs remembers his sire as somewhat rough around the edges, tough and rather brash - a lot like he himself can be. But his carrier was the gentler one, calmer and sophisticated. Frame-wise, his sire was tall and hulking, as was expected from a mech of the military. His carrier was relatively large as another mech, but lacked that heavy armor and was more lithe. Crosshairs has always considered his personality, as well as his physical build, to be set somewhere in the middle of them.
"I see..." Ellie tilts her head, "Were you an only child?"
Crosshairs snorts in amusement, "Most Cybertronians are, doll. Sparklin's take a huge toll on carriers."
"Oh," she hold her hands up, "Sorry! I don't know these things! I'm asking just so I can learn and understand. If I say or ask anything that's sensitive, I'm sorry in advance-"
"You're fine, Ellie," he interrupts, offering her a reassuring look. He can see a slight tint to her cheeks, a sign that she's flustered, and has to suppress the urge to grin upon the knowledge that he has this effect on her. And frag it all, her little bashful nod and smile almost do him in right then and there.
For her sake, as well as his own, Crosshairs diverts his attention. His eyes catch sight of a case only half hidden under her bed, piquing his curiosity. Wordlessly reaches for it and tugs it out, revealing it to be a gun case.
"Oh, yeah. That's my shotgun," Ellie says from behind him. That's right, he'd nearly forgotten. She'd had it with her the very first time they'd seen each other months ago, when he'd first escaped DC and wandered into her yard, beaten, burned and broken. It feels like so long ago now.
It's a miniscule thing, but a gun is a gun, and Crosshairs admittedly misses the feeling of a weapon in his hands. He'd lost most of his personal arsenal in DC, and the ones built into his frame he hasn't had the need to pull out since he's been here, not to mention that they would drain his already struggling energy reserves. Suddenly craving the familiarity, he glances at Ellie and asks tentatively, "You mind if I..."
"No, go right ahead," Ellie waves a hand, than adds jokingly, "That thing is much safer in your hands than in mine, in all honesty."
He huffs in reply and unlatches the case almost eagerly, and runs his fingers over the barrel with practice ease. Carefully, he takes the shotgun out and examines it silently, his sharp eyes taking in every detail and part. Behind him Ellie shuffles back and forth - messing with decorations, most likely. He pays it no mind and focuses on quickly searching up what kind of shotgun this is.
"Hmm," he hums, glancing through the sight, "Mossberg 500."
Ellie pauses, "...Yeah. I got it shortly after I got away from Thomas. As a single mom who lives out in the country, well, I figured I ought to get something reliable. Just in case."
"Not bad," Crosshairs nods approvingly. If there's one thing he can compliment humans on, it's their weaponry. Of course, none of it is even remotely comparable to Cybertronian innovation, but he can still appreciate a decent man-made gun when he sees one. After only moments of scanning through online manuals and videos, Crosshairs begins to take the weapon apart - only to be surprised as his fingers are quickly stained with grease and residue.
"Holy frag."
Ellie stops whatever she's doing and glances down, "What? What's wrong?"
He raises his hand for her to see, "Doll, when's the last time this thing's been cleaned?"
"Er... never?"
Crosshairs gapes.
Ellie blinks, "Maybe one time... in the shop... before I bought it..."
He can't believe what he's hearing. Of course, in the back of his mind he reminds himself that Ellie isn't the type to know much about guns, but at the same time, never? She'll be lucky if this shotgun works at all. Internally, Crosshairs lists off all the possible malfunctions of a dirty gun while he continues to take it apart.
Ellie kneels and slides her hand under the bed, "It did come with... there it is," she pulls out a smaller kit and places it next to Crosshairs, "A cleaning kit."
"Wonderful," he turns and opens it to reveal all the basic necessities of gun cleaning, then jerks his head in a gesture for her to come over, "C'mere, sit."
"You're cleaning it now?"
"Yeah, why not?" Crosshairs raises a brow at her, then gestures again. Ellie hesitates, "I, uh, need to check on the kids. Maybe they're-"
"They're in the livin' room, they're fine."
"Yeah, but-"
"Ellie," he reaches out with his free hand and manages to catch her wrist before she can escape -not in a forceful way, but firm enough to keep her still. He gives her a look, knowing very well how his intense stares affect her. It works, because Ellie visibly deflates and shrinks at the same time. She says, helplessly, "Crosshairs, I don't know the first thing about properly handling or caring for a gun..."
"I know," he says, gently tugging her down, "I'll show you. Sit."
Ellie hesitates again, but sighs and gives in. She holds a hand up, "Okay, fine. But let me grab a towel at least."
With a curt nod he lets her go, and Ellie slips into the bathroom. She comes out a moment later with a dark, old towel and eases down on her knees beside him, spreading it out on the floor. "There, that way nothing gets on the carpet." she gives a short sigh and leans back, placing her hands on the tops of her thighs and looking over at him, "Alright, so what now?"
"Gotta take it apart first, which I've already done," he says as he lays out all the dismembered pieces onto the towel, "I'm gonna run you down on each of these parts 'n where they fit. See this, here? It's called the receiver. Inside it holds the cartridge stop, cartridge interrupter, the elevator n' the bolt..."
Crosshairs goes on to describe each part of the shotgun, making sure he keeps their function and description easy to understand for Ellie. She catches on easily enough, and it doesn't take long for her to name each part and their general use before she takes each piece and cleans them the way he shows her. It's admittedly impressive to him. Already, within twenty minutes of teaching, Ellie's doing better than most Autobot recruits he'd used to bark at.
This is the first lesson, he realizes, where he's patient and comfortable and calm. He suspects it to be because it's with Ellie that he's going about this so differently, to be so gentle and careful. Recruits are young and ignorant and often irritating enough that yelling at them is really the only way to get results. But Ellie is no soldier, she's soft and delicate in all aspects - practically any amount of force will break her. Snapping at her like he used to won't help anything, not that he's ever felt the need to be harsh to her anyways.
You're goin' soft, Crosshairs, he thinks to himself. But then he watches as Ellie accidentally drops the barrel while cleaning it and squeaks, picks it back up, and throws him a bashful smile. A light blush dusts her cheeks. Frag it, who cares?
As Crosshairs sets down the slide, he takes a look at all the parts, double checking a few to make sure none have been missed. Ellie pulls the wire brush out of the barrel and gives a soft sigh, placing it down as well, "Did we get them all?"
"Think so," he says, leaning back, "Gotta put it back together now."
Ellie gives him a look, "You're going to make me do it, aren't you?"
Crosshairs just smirks.
She sighs again in feigned annoyance, but gives the gun parts an unsure look. Clearly she isn't sure where to start, so he decides to give her a little verbal push, "C'mon now, doll. We went over the parts. You know what they do 'n where they go. What do you think goes together first?"
"...Um," Ellie thinks for a moment, her eyes darting to each piece before she points, "Probably the receiver, right? It has the most parts in it and it's the biggest section of the gun."
"There ya go," he says with a small nod, making Ellie grin in silent triumph and begin to reassemble the weapon, starting with the elevator. Crosshairs watches her closely, only having to stop her twice to remind her the order of putting it back together. In a matter of minutes Ellie slips the barrel back into place and is holding the newly cleaned shotgun in her lap.
"Oh, I did it," she says, upon realizing her accomplishment. She gives a bright, proud smile as she chirps, "I did it! I put it back together! I did it correctly, right?"
Seeing Ellie so thrilled about it brings out a small chuckle from Crosshairs. It makes him feel good, to see her happy. He's suddenly overcome with a particular urge, and after a brief moment of hesitation, he promptly decides to just go through with it and reaches out. He gasps her bottom jaw to direct her face to him and leans forward to kiss her.
Almost instantly, Crosshairs can sense the spike in Ellie's heartbeat, and for a moment he's concerned. But Ellie doesn't pull away or shrink in fear, rather she presses back softly, tentatively, in a way that indicates the delicate path the two of them are treading. It's the first time they've shared affection like this since the day they'd chosen to explore this connection together, making the kiss cautious and curious all at once.
"You did good," he murmurs, pulling away and throwing her the barest of smiles. Ellie let's out a light exhale and smiles back.
"Thanks," she hands the shotgun to Crosshairs, then adds with a playful look, "Your beard tickles, by the way."
Her statement confuses him for a moment. Crosshairs subconsciously reaches for his face and is mildly surprised by the facial hair he can feel. What was once just light stubble has grown out into a light beard. He glances over at Ellie's mirror and eyes himself. His hair has grown a bit, too. No one ever told him that the hair on holoforms can grow out. Interesting.
"Sorry...?" he mumbles, not knowing what else to say.
"Don't worry about it," Ellie replies, chuckling, "I kind of like it, and you pull it off really well. Makes you look extra tough," she brings her hand up and swipes away a rogue lock of hair from his forehead, "...Your hair is getting long, though. I can trim it for you, if you'd like."
Crosshairs runs a hand through his hair himself, noting that it is indeed growing out as well. He hums, "Maybe later. There's somethin' we've gotta do first."
Ellie gives him a quizzical look, "There is? What do we have to do?"
"Go shoot, of course," Crosshairs says like it's the most obvious answer in the world. He stands up, shotgun in one hand, and offers Ellie the other. She stares up at him for a moment, surprised. "Shoot?"
"Yup."
"Right now?"
"Uh huh. Get your coat."
"But we just cleaned it!"
"I know," Crosshairs deadpans, pulling her up once she finally takes his hand, "That's why we've gotta shoot it; make sure the damn thing still works after bein' neglected for so long."
Ellie shifts on her feet a little, then sighs, "Okay, I guess that makes sense. I probably need to practice again anyways..."
Crosshairs quirks a brow, readjusting his hold on the weapon into a more professional and safer hold - barrel to the ground, finger off the trigger, "You even know how to use this thing properly?"
"I do!" Ellie scoffs defensively, "...I know enough in an emergency, at least. I'm not a soldier or a master sniper like you, so don't expect to be impressed."
"S'fine, I'll teach you how to shoot, too," he bends down and snatches a box of ammo, "Now c'mon, while it's still bright out."
"Hold your horses, big guy," Ellie says, holding out a hand to stop him. She steps over boxes and decorations on the floor to reach her closet and digs in it, pulling out her own white winter coat and a larger, dark green one from what looks like the back of the closet. She tosses it into the bed and points at it, "Yours. Try it on and see if it fits."
Crosshairs eyes it with a curious glance for a moment. It's obviously Thomas's, and though Ellie has offered him the man's leftover clothing a few times, Crosshairs isn't sure if he feels comfortable wearing the clothes of the man who had continuously hurt Ellie for so long. Not for his sake, but for hers.
Ellie must have noticed his hesitation. She waves her hand dismissively and says, "It's fine, Crosshairs. It won't bother me, I promise. If anything, I have a bunch of men's clothes that can finally be put to use again. And I know you don't technically need a coat, but it'll make me feel better if you have something on in that freezing weather. Less distracting."
For a moment, Crosshairs can't help but to smirk, "Less distracting, eh?"
Ellie's face begins to flush as she realizes her own words. She shakes her head and fights a bashful smile, pointing at the coat, "Shut up. Just put it on."
As she expects, the coat is maybe a size too small for Crosshairs, but it fits well enough. The v-shape of his built body makes his shoulders broader than Thomas's, and as a result the coat hugs his upper torso a little snugly. He can still move around in it, and he hasn't complained that it feels too tight so Ellie assumes it will do. She slips her own coat on and soon the two of them are heading downstairs.
Charlie and Maddie watch them as they descend the stairs, both of them wide-eyed at the unusual sight of Crosshairs holding the shotgun. Maddie shoots up from the couch immediately and asks in a curious tone, "What are you guys doing?"
"We're going outside, sweetie," Ellie replies, "Crosshairs is going to teach me how to shoot."
"Oh," Maddie takes a moment to sign to Charlie before the two of them look back towards the adults. Maddie takes a step forward, "Can we come, too?"
"Um..." Ellie looks over at Crosshairs, wondering if he'll be comfortable with her children tagging along. He meets her eyes and has a vaguely amused expression before he shrugs and beckons them with his head, "Sure. Come watch."
"Coats first, you two." Ellie says and signs, pointing to their coats hung by the front door. Both kids nod eagerly and rush to put them on and climb into their fur boots before they trail Ellie and Crosshairs outside. The cold air bites at her exposed face, causing Ellie to shiver briefly, but she follows Crosshairs until he finds a suitable spot in the backyard. He pauses for a moment, then turns back to Charlie and Maddie.
"Y'all got any empty bottles? Cans?"
Maddie nods, "Yeah, in the recycle bin."
"Get some for me, yeah?" He asks with a slight smile. Maddie nods again right away, and after some quick signing to Charlie the two of them trot back into the house with all the enthusiasm of excited children. Crosshairs turns back to Ellie and beckons her with his head, "As for you, c'mere. Show me how you usually hold it."
Ellie gives a small nervous chuckle as she comes over, "I feel like you're going to bark at me to straighten up my posture all drill-sergeant style."
Crosshairs frowns, evidently not catching onto the joke, "I'd never yell at you."
Something lodges in her chest at that. It's such a little thing, but something about Crosshairs openly and earnestly stating to never raise his voice fills Ellie with a massive sense of warmth and safety with him - which is a feeling she's admittedly never experienced before. With her newfound comfort Ellie comes over and carefully takes the gun, throwing Crosshairs a tentative smile while she takes a deep breath and raises it.
It's been a while since she's practiced with it but there's a few tips she can recall from Alex the last time he and Jenny visited and helped her purchase a gun. Ellie places one hand on the slider and the other at the base of the shotgun, finger not quite on the trigger. She tries her best to steel herself into a firm position while she gazes through the sight.
"How's this?" She asks.
"...Hold your position."
Crosshairs backs up and out of her line of sight, possibly to assess her posture. For a moment Ellie hears nothing, so she continues to hold still, but then there's the crunch of snow and a sudden warmth against her back.
"You're too stiff," he says, into her ear. His gravelly voice feels as though it's reverberating through her with him this close. Ellie has the urge to shiver for a completely different reason than the weather.
Large hands grip at her shoulders and pull them back, "Shoulders back, doll. Don't lean forward like that, ain't good posture." Crosshairs then lodges a leg between hers, nudging her feet further apart, "Feet spread, like this. Better balance this way."
"Okay..." Ellie lets him nudge and prod on different areas of her body until she's properly positioned, explaining each adjustment as he goes. He touches her carefully, like she's something fragile that can shatter like glass. It still amazes her how soft Crosshairs can be, with how much raw strength is packed in him.
"Bring your hand further back. On the slider," he says. Ellie suddenly has two large arms overlaping hers, his hands covering hers on the shotgun. Crosshairs gently pulls her palm down to grip the slider and pushes her other hand up closer to the base of the weapon.
Ellie's heart is racing. Crosshairs could sense it almost as soon as he came up behind her to straighten her form. It's not enough for it to be alarming, but Crosshairs simply can't ignore the sudden jump in her heart rate as soon as he's near. He suppresses a smile. For a moment he's distracted by the beating of her heart, and its only when Ellie shifts again and turns to look up at him that he snaps out of the trance.
He catches her eyes with his own. They stare at each other for a long moment.
"Um, we have the bottles."
Maddie's voice cuts through the thickened air, allowing Crosshairs to jump to his senses. He glances at the kids while simultaneously backing away from Ellie a little too quickly. Maddie is slightly grinning at him. Charlie is glaring.
"Right, uh..." Crosshairs points vaguely towards the tree stumps at the back of the yard - a convenient placement for targets, "Just put 'em over there for me, yeah?"
Maddie nods and pulls her brother along as they march across the snowy yard. Carefully Maddie takes the bottles and cans from him and places them on the two tree stumps. While they do that, Crosshairs glances at Ellie and watches her grip the gun and position herself, being mindful to all the posture adjustments he'd given her. She's still a bit too stiff, he muses, but decides to see how the first shot goes before he says anything.
"Okay, we're done!" Maddie calls out. Crosshairs nods approvingly at the setup and beckons them with a wave, to get them safely out of range. Once both kids trot behind him and to the side he turns back to Ellie and gives her a nod, "Whenever you're ready, doll."
She shifts her weight and aims slowly, "Do you want me to go for a specific one?"
"Nah. Whichever one ya want."
Ellie gives the barest of nods, now solely focused on her potential target. Keeping steady and firm, she brings a finger to the trigger and hesitates for only a moment before she pulls. The crisp winter atmosphere shatters from the ringing shot, and Crosshairs hears a slight squeak escape Ellie as she jerks back from the recoil. The bullet scraps the stump just below a can, splintering the wood.
"...I missed," Ellie sighs and lowers the shotgun.
"S'fine, just try again," he replies. Moving behind her, Crosshairs gauges the distance and angles needed to make a hit with precise calculations borne from vorns worth of experience. It's a little odd for him to do so from a human standpoint - everything is bigger around him and he feels so small, making his evaluations a bit awkward - but he can at least tell that Ellie aimed a little too low.
This time when Ellie aims again, he leans down to her level just behind her. Carefully, he places himself in a similar position as before, up against her back and sharp eyes down the barrel. Ellie's pulse rises again and Crosshairs can hear the slight stutter in her breath. He murmurs to her, "Relax, doll. Aim higher."
"Okay..." Ellie lifts the barrel a little bit, and with his assistance she reaches what he deems is the optimal height. Crosshairs almost pulls back and lets her try again, but a thought crosses his mind. He glances down at the butt of the gun, against her shoulder.
"Recoil hurt you, didn't it?"
Ellie exhales, "Um... a little bit, yes. I kind of forgot how much punch it has..."
Crosshairs doubts it's a lot, considering this type of gun is specifically designed with less recoil, but Ellie is small and simply not built to handle big guns like this. He knows that, so instead Crosshairs stays where he is and says, "Lean against me, so ya don't fly back again."
Ellie breaks her sight from the barrel, eyes wide, "Are you sure? I don't want to, like, fly into you or anything..."
Crosshairs gives her a pointed look, "I think I can take it, doll."
She still looks a little unsure, but she complies. When she aims this time, Ellie instead rolls her shoulders back and braces herself against his holoform's chest. It actually improves her posture, he notices, as she's no longer stiff. Crosshairs keeps his hands idly at her elbows, almost as if he's ready to catch her. He tries hard not to think about the feeling of Ellie's petite body tucked into his, or his spark's heightened thrumming that he's feeling from within.
Ellie shoots, and as expected she launches back into his chest. However, a bottle topples off of the stump, and Ellie beams. "I did it! I actually shot one!"
"Yeah, you did," he says with a small smile. She looks up at him with a grin and Crosshairs can't help but to grin back. Ellie's happiness is simply contagious to him.
"Whoa, that was awesome. Good job, Mom!" Maddie says from the side, practically bouncing on her feet. Charlie doesn't look quite as enthused, looking from the stumps to Ellie and Crosshairs with an odd expression, although Crosshairs assumes not being able to hear would make it difficult to fully understand what's going on.
"Think you can try again without me?" He asks, turning back to her.
Ellie nods, "Yeah, I think so..."
Crosshairs slowly withdrawls himself as a support from Ellie, letting her stand and aim on her own. This time she holds her shoulders back properly, which helps her brace for her next shot. He nods to himself in approval and watches Ellie reload and shoot again a couple more times. She manages to hit a bottle and only narrowly misses the rest - certainly not horrible aim for someone not at all trained in guns. Crosshairs has definitely seen worse.
With a satisfied sigh Ellie lowers the weapon, throwing Crosshairs a small smile, "Well, I'd say this thing works just fine, doesn't it?"
"Not bad," he replies with a nod, coming closer. He can see the slight grimace flash across Ellie's face as she shifts the gun against her shoulder and he offers to take it, "You done?"
Ellie nods and hands it over, "My shoulder is starting to hurt..." she looks up at him, almost shyly, and smiles, "Um, thanks for giving me a lesson."
Crosshairs takes the gun, "Not a problem, doll."
There's a light flush to her face that he notices. He's not sure whether or not it's from the weather or from something else, but even with the layers of clothing, he knows the cold weather is beginning to bite at her. He forgets how sensitive humans are to temperature. Crosshairs is about to tell her to head inside, when he feels a tug on his coat. He looks down to see Maddie gazing up at him with hopeful eyes.
"I'm just wondering, um..." she looks bashful for a moment and shifts on her feet, unsure. Finally she blurts out, "Can... can I try?"
"Try to shoot?"
Maddie nods. Crosshairs glances at Ellie, almost asking permission himself. He knows better than to answer for her. The immediate answer for him is no - if only because the girl is so small that he isn't sure if she can even handle a full sized weapon like this, and he'd rather not be responsible for hurting Ellie's daughter.
But then he thinks, frag it, I can't talk. Had a gun in my servos almost as soon as Icould walk.
Not to mention that Bluestreak started incredibly young as well.
"Madison, I'm not sure if..." Ellie starts, but Crosshairs nudges her and murmurs, "Just one shot."
"One shot?" Ellie blinks in surprise. She looks to Maddie, and then to him, and then to the gun. She shakes her head, "You can't be serious, Crosshairs."
"I'm very serious."
"She's twelve!"
"Older than I was when I started."
Ellie gives him a flat look, "I somehow doubt that."
"Well... maybe not literal age," Crosshairs touches her shoulder, coaxing her to look him in the eye, "You trust me, yeah?"
She nods, "I do."
"Then you should know I ain't gonna let her get hurt."
"It's not that, Crosshairs, it's just..." Ellie shakes her head and sighs while the worry eats at her expression, "I don't know how I feel about my daughter holding a gun."
"'S a dangerous universe we're livin' in, doll. Someday she might have to," Crosshairs says. His mind wanders to Bluestreak and his tank churns, "Rather she learn how to do it proper now then not know when she needs to. You get that, yeah?"
She stares at him, and after a moment, there's a shift in her face. She understands through the thickly veiled response what he's trying to say: I can't lose another kid.
It's a means for Maddie to learn as much as it is for Crosshairs to find some personal closure.
"...Okay," Ellie nods, the reluctance slowly melting away and becoming silent acceptance. She gestures to Maddie, who comes forward eagerly, "If you're going to shoot, you're going to listen to everything he tells you, do you understand?"
"I do," her daughter replies firmly.
"And you're not going to give him any trouble."
"I won't, Mom. I promise."
"Good girl," Ellie runs her fingers through Maddie's hair briefly, kisses her head, and then backs away, gesturing at Crosshairs with a hesitant smile, "She's all yours."
Crosshairs can sense her uneasiness. He gets it, in a way. No child should have to know how to handle a weapon, but to him, there's nothing wrong with indulging in their curiosity. Ellie reminds him of his own carrier, in a way. He was hardly the soldier type, and had a difficult time accepting the sight of Crosshairs hauling guns around with his sire at only a handful of vorns old.
"I'll be gentle," he says.
"I know you will," Ellie replies. She meanders over to Charlie and begins to sign with him.
With Maddie's full attention on him, he starts with the basics - how to hold it, how to aim, how to stand, and to never touch the trigger unless ready to shoot. He has to remember to explain everything slower and simpler, having being used to training recruits who usually already know what to do. But Maddie is clearly an eager learner and soaks in his every word, with her eyes catching every detail he points out on the weapon, and her head nodding multiple times.
He hands her the shotgun once he feels that she's ready, half expecting the barrel to plummet into the snow. He's surprised, however, to see Maddie hold it steady, if only with a little strain, and raise it. The scene is a tad amusing, seeing such a small girl with such a big gun, but she's already in position and ready to go. She looks up at him expectedly, "Like this, right Crosshairs?"
"Yeah, that's...pretty good," he checks her posture, nudging her for only minor adjustments. It's not completely proper posture, but it's as good as it's going to get with Maddie not being the optimal size to handle such a weapon. At that thought, Crosshairs drops down on a knee and settles himself behind her. He knows that she's going to need protection against the kick.
"Alright, so when ya aim-"
A shot rings through the air and Maddie flies back into him. Crosshairs fumbles, not at all expecting it, and grabs the young girl's shoulders to stabilize her. In the corner of his eye, a can flies off of the stump.
"Oh, I'm sorry," Maddie lowers the shotgun and shrinks sheepishly, "I didn't mean to interrupt you..."
"I..." Crosshairs isn't initially sure of what to say. He looks from her, to the empty spot where the can used to be, and manages to sputter out, "...You got one."
"Yeah. I aimed for it."
Crosshairs blinks.
"Right..." he eyes the girl for a moment, and Maddie stares in innocently back, perhaps waiting for him to advise her. But Crosshairs raises a brow, decides to hold his tongue and instead nods towards the stump, "Why don't ya try again?"
Maddie wordlessly nods and raises the gun again. This time he's ready for her, and watches as Maddie shoots down another can with ease. Her next few shots went just as well, taking out the rest of the bottles and cans with only two narrow misses.
By the end of it, all of the bottles and cans are shot down and Crosshairs is left squinting at the scene, not quite believing it. Maddie exhales softly and lowers the shotgun, her face twisted into a wince as the recoil catches up with her.
"You never shot before this?" He asks.
Maddie shakes her head, looking almost bashful, "Nope."
Crosshairs glances at the empty stumps, "...You sure?"
"Yeah. Mom never let me touch a gun before."
Crosshairs smirks, "Holy frag. You're a natural, kid."
"Really?" Maddie beams, "It doesn't seem all that hard. All I did was focus."
Words somehow fail to get past Crosshairs's tongue. In the moment he looks at Maddie, her image changes, and for the briefest of moments, he's not looking at a beaming human girl, but a grinning young Praxian. His spark tightens. When he blinks, Maddie is back.
"I..."
A hand on his shoulder is what beings Crosshairs back to the present. Ellie is there, staring down at him with a worried expression, "Crosshairs? Are you okay?"
"Uh-" he shakes his head and stands up, "Y-yeah. Yeah, I'm good, just..."
Maddie lowers the gun, staring up at him, "You kinda blanked out for a second."
"Right, sorry..." Crosshairs hesitates, not sure how he can recover the conversation. He doesn't even quite remember where they left off, so he simply turns to Maddie and places a hand on her shoulder, "Good job, kiddo."
"Thanks, Crosshairs," Maddie smiles and hands him the gun. As soon as he takes it, he turns to Ellie and nods towards the house, "Should go inside. You're cold. I'll clean up."
"We probably should. It's freezing out here," Ellie places a hand on Maddie's shoulder, "Come on sweetie, before you or Charlie catch a cold."
Maddie shrugs away her mother's hand, backing towards Crosshairs. She smiles, and says, "Actually, I wanna help Crosshairs. Is that okay, Mom?"
"Oh," Ellie looks to Crosshairs, who simply shrugs. With a smile of her own, she nods, "Of course, honey, if he's alright with that."
Crosshairs is then met with a pair of wide, expectant eyes. He smirks, and then beckons her, "C'mon, kid."
Maddie grins and walks towards the tree stumps, marching through the snow on the way. Ellie stops Crosshairs before he starts after her, and murmurs softly, "Thank you, by the way. For the lesson."
For a moment, Crosshairs is drawn into her eyes. Their soft blue color seem to gleam in the winter light, enticing him to come closer. He very well might have, if the children weren't there. It doesn't occur to him until right then the kind of power this small woman has over him. Even with the smallest, most innocent glances, Crosshairs is hopelessly and helplessly drawn to Ellie.
Suddenly without words, Crosshairs can do little more than give her a small nod and smile slightly. While they part ways, he turns to see Maddie sporting a wild eye and a cheeky grin. Already, Crosshairs has a feeling that he knows what he's about to hear.
"You like my mom, don't you?"
He hesitates, eventually deciding to busy himself with picking up a bottle before thinking up an answer. Somehow, he wasn't expecting Maddie to be so up-front about it. Does he make it that obvious? He fumbles with a punctured soda can while he casually shrugs, "Your mom's nice, sure."
The young girl gives him a long, unconvinced look. She takes a moment to pick up a can and a bottle herself, "No I mean, you like like her, don't you?"
Some part of Crosshairs wants to either ignore the question or give some snarky response, but a youngling's inquisitiveness is nearly unmatched, in his experience. There is no getting out of this. He settles with raising an eyebrow while digging in the snow for a bottle, "What makes ya say that?"
Maddie smirks, "I dunno... just curious," she falters for a moment, looking down as if she's not sure of what to say. Tucking a can in her arm, she says, "I guess the way you look at Mom, and talk to her. I remember my dad being like that when I was really little. Before he got mean."
There's a flicker of emotion that comes and goes through her eyes. This young girl, Crosshairs realizes, has had to live the majority of her life with only one parent to love and care for her. The other has done little more than leave scars behind, both in mind and body. He frowns and says in a gentle tone, "I won't hurt your mother."
"I know," Maddie smiles up at him, "You make my mom happy, and that's really good. She hasn't been really happy in a long time," with her arms now full with bottles and cans, she comes over to Crosshairs and hands him one last soda can. It has a clean bullet hole right through it, "Besides, I think that you're super cool. I like you."
Crosshairs isn't sure how to respond. He looks down at the can in his hand, and then back to Maddie. She gives him the same smiling, eager expression that he used to see almost every day, on another young face. It threatens to twist his spark in a painful way, but instead, Crosshairs offers her a small half-smile in return, and replies, "...I like you too, kid."
Maddie's smile, like Bluestreak's used to, beams brighter than a million stars.
Ellie's back downstairs by midnight, steadily sipping on a water and trying her hardest to will her night terrors away. It's another one of those restless nights - the ones where Thomas's sneers, and glares, and endless abuse comes back to haunt her dreams. There's a very slight tremble seizing her fingers, grasped tight around the glass. She sighs, closes her eyes, and focuses on trying to regulate her rapid heart.
It takes a considerable amount of time for her to bat away the memories. Ellie takes a deep breath and quietly slips on her coat, slipping through the back door into the cold night air. The crisp temperature bites at the exposed skin of her face, but Ellie closes her eyes and welcomes the winter sensations.
The distant sound of crunching snow catches her attention after a moment. Opening her eyes, Ellie looks out towards the garage, spotting a silhouette gradually coming closer. She recognizes his shape in the moonlight and his walking gait and relaxes. She meets Crosshairs's eyes when he finally makes in into the backyard lights.
"Well hi there," she says, with a slight smile "Couldn't sleep, I'm guessing?"
Crosshairs's shoulders drop and he shakes his head, "No."
"Yeah... neither can I," Ellie beckons him with her head, "I just wanted some fresh air. You can join me if you want."
With a small nod, he does just that. Crosshairs silently approaches and leans against the side of the house next to her, hands in his pockets and shoulders slack. He's not wearing a coat, which continues to bug her to no end, but Crosshairs clearly isn't bothered by the weather. She watches him inhale deeply and stare blankly ahead, his expression painted with traces of distress and exhaustion. It's obvious to her that his night is going about as well as hers is.
Ellie nudges him, "You want to talk about it?"
Crosshairs looks at her slowly, "Do you?"
She frowns. No, she really doesn't, but Ellie knows that the only way she's going to get him to talk is if she does first. Crosshairs still has yet to learn how to let himself open up and that is something that can only improve with time and trust. With a soft breath, Ellie looks away.
"I dreamt about Thomas again," she says quietly, and hates how small she sounds, "You know, of the things he used to do to me, and all the pain he caused me. The yelling, the drinking, the hitting, the name-calling... it's nothing new but it still haunts me all the time, as you already know."
She glances up to see Crosshairs frowning down at her. Mentioning Thomas always seems to deeply disturb him, which Ellie assumes is because abuse among spouses is such a taboo concept for his kind. She can only imagine a society like that, where that type of violence hardly exists. Crosshairs shifts his weight and sets his jaw before he finally brings himself to speak.
"I, uh... I dreamt about my sire."
Ellie raises her brows, having not expected that response, "Oh?"
Crosshairs nods. He crosses his arms and looks down, echoes of emotion flickering across his troubled face, "'S a long time ago, but... sometimes it's still fresh. Feels like I'm a young mech all over again, watchin' his spark fail in the medical bay. Medics tried everythin' but..." he shakes his head. "He was too old. Spark was too weak. Died on the spot."
Ellie isn't sure what to say at first. She can't imagine losing a parent like that, and from Crosshairs's tone, she knows it's difficult for him to talk about even now. Placing a hand on his shoulder, she whispers softly, "I'm... so sorry, Crosshairs. I know that must have been hard for you."
"At the time, it was," he murmurs, shaking his head, "But I'm almost as old as he was now. I got over it. Thought I did, at least..." he sighs, "Not sure why it came back to me."
"Childhood memories are bound to come back at some point, Crosshairs. Even the painful ones we don't want to remember."
Crosshairs looks down at her hand, then to her with a frown, "I guess."
It's clear that he doesn't really want to keep this particular conversation going, so Ellie leaves it at that. She wants him to open up more, but she also doesn't want to push him. Instead, she catches notice of a rogue lock of his chestnut hair and reaches up, gently swiping it away. "You know, we should really do something about your hair."
He raises a brow, "At one in the mornin'?"
Ellie shrugs, "Why not? I can't sleep, and neither can you. When's a better time to do it?"
She gives him a slight smile and beckons him inside. Crosshairs, although looking a little bewildered, follows her, slipping through the back door and closing it quietly behind him. While Ellie slips her coat off, Crosshairs wanders into the living room and settles on the couch.
"Stay right there for me, I'm going to grab some stuff," she says before silently heading upstairs. Ellie goes to the bathroom, grabbing a pair of hair scissors, a comb, and a towel. She can't help but to pause for a long moment.
Thomas grins at her, "Have you ever done this before, babe?"
"Uh, like once. For my dad," she laughs, then settles down beside him and draped the towel over his shoulders, "Don't worry, I'm just trimming it. I can't possibly mess that up, right?"
He leans over and kisses her softly, "Of course not. And hey, in the worse case scenario, it can always just grow back. I trust you."
Ellie giggles with all the excitement of a newlywed, "Oh good, I'm glad one of us does."
Shaking her head, Ellie rips the memory from her mind and heads downstairs before it can come back. Crosshairs is still on the couch as she's requested, with the television on at low volume. Ellie turns on the lamp by the couch and sits next to him. She eyes the television and can't help but to chuckle a little, "What's with you and space documentaries?"
Crosshairs smirks to himself, "They're kinda entertaining."
"Oh yeah?" Ellie places her tools on the coffee table and smiles, "How so?"
"Human speculation on the universe is so fraggin' close-minded," Crosshairs shakes his head, "Y'all have no idea what's out there."
That makes her pause. She glances at him, now very curious, "Do you know what's out there?"
"I know more than your little human experts, that's for fraggin' sure," he replies, sounding vaguely amused at the whole thing.
Ellie hums in thought. Sometimes she forgets entirely that Crosshairs comes from a completely different planet, in a completely different part of the known universe. His kind has already developed the technology to explore what's out there. It's bizarre to think that he knows more about outer space than even the most renowned NASA astronomers.
"Look at me," she says, taking his face and angling it her way. Crosshairs obediently turns his head, allowing Ellie to take the comb and start bringing it through his hair. It's not quite shoulder length, about to his ears. He almost reminds her of a scruffy Bradley Cooper, she muses. It's not a bad look for him.
"Alright I'm going to put a towel over your shoulders, so hair doesn't get everywhere," she moves to grab it, but Crosshairs pushes her hand down. "Won't be necessary, doll."
She hesitates, "What?"
Crosshairs gives her a sort of half-smile, grabs the scissors and snips at a piece of his hair. The cut strands don't make it to the floor - they fizzle out into tiny little sparks. Ellie blinks, "Oh. Well that's... convenient."
He shrugs, "Heard about it from other 'Bots before. Didn't know my hair grows but I've been told it don't leave traces behind. Good for the espionage unit."
Plucking the scissors from him, Ellie smiles a little, genuinely impressed, "That definitely makes this ten times easier, then. Hold still for me, okay?"
With a short nod he does just that. Ellie begins to section off portions of his hair and trim it down with practiced ease, watching in slight amazement as the pieces of hair simply disintegrate. It's odd, but she's able to overlook it and focus on her task at hand without a second glance. They sit in silence for a little while, the only sounds coming from the snip of the scissors. Crosshairs closes his eyes as she runs her fingers through a few times to fix what she's cut.
"You seem good at this," he murmurs.
Ellie stops for a moment before answering, "...I used to do this for Thomas."
Crosshairs's eyes open, "Oh."
She shrugs, "His hair would get long too. It was cheaper than going to a barber. I actually learned how to do it through trimming his hair," she huffs a laugh while trimming another lock, "I was so nervous I'd mess up at first, but Thomas... he was patient with me. Well... he was at first, when we just got married."
He hums in response, although Ellie isn't sure if it's because he's not sure what to say or because he's distracted by her fingers in his hair. His chestnut locks feel soft and healthy, with no signs of any dandruff, dryness or oiliness. She's almost jealous by the perfection of it, even if it's all synthetic.
For Crosshairs, the level of sensations that humans experience is almost a little overwhelming for him. As a Cybertronian, physical sensitivity is, at best, muted. Metal is not pliable, or soft, therefore not very receptive of touch and feeling. His species is simply not able to experience the intricacies of touch in the same way organic species can.
Sitting here, however, with Ellie working at his hair, fingers running soothingly over his scalp, he's almost lulled into a recharge right then and there. It's unlike anything he's ever felt before, and it's relaxing as much as it is stimulating. He can easily understand now why humans value so much more physical contact than his own kind.
He hears Ellie chuckle as she continues to trim, "You're looking quite content."
"Feels good," he says.
"I would hope so," she puts the scissors down again and begins to comb the hair she's trimmed near his face. It doesn't fall to his forehead anymore. "A lot of people do like getting their hair messed with because it feels good. I myself don't mind someone running their fingers through my hair. My sister used to do it when we were younger. It's relaxing in a way, you know?"
Crosshairs coyly decides to hold onto that little tidbit of information. Just at the thought, his eyes catch sight of Ellie's long, wavy hair. The blonde locks fall softly over her shoulders and down her front as she leans towards him, solely focused on her task. He's so distracted by imagining how it feels that he almost doesn't hear what she says.
"Thank you, by the way."
"Hmm?" Crosshairs blinks up at her face, "For what?"
"For letting me cut your hair," Ellie replies as she combs out his now shorted hair, "I wasn't sure if you'd let me."
He frowns, "Why wouldn't I?"
Ellie hesitates, then shrugs, "I don't know, maybe you'd think I'd mess it up or something."
"I wouldn't care if you did. It'll grow back," Crosshairs says, and then adds with the barest of a smile, "And I trust ya, doll."
She laughs, "I'm glad one of us does-"
Almost as if someone pressed a pause button, Ellie freezes in place. Crosshairs immediately senses the change in her body - she tenses up, her breath hitching, like it's been taken from her. He looks up to see Ellie fighting tears, and just like that his spark drops.
"Hey, Ellie..." he reaches for her, but stops. He's suddenly unsure of what to do - frag, he's not even sure what he's done. She's gone from relaxed and smiling to devastation in seconds. He doesn't understand. Was it something he said?
Eventually she snaps back into the present. Ellie blinks a few times and wipes her eyes with the back of her hand, "Damnit... I'm sorry. I didn't mean to start crying..."
"What just happened?" Crosshairs asks, genuinely confused, "Did I... say somethin'?"
She shakes her head, "It's not your fault, Crosshairs. It's just... a memory I have..." she looks away for a moment, "I got reminded of it. Thomas, um... he used to tell me that he trusted me, too."
He frowns, hating the fact that he inevitably keeps reminding her of that wretched excuse of a human. It's not fair that Ellie has to deal with Thomas's shadow for so long, and to such an extent. She doesn't deserve it - no one does, really - and he will never understand why that kind of violence seems so common among humans.
"'M sorry, Ellie."
"It's okay," she whispers. Without another word spoken, Ellie finishes her last bit of trimming before she puts the scissors down. She continues to comb through his hair, and though Crosshairs once again fell soothed from the physical sensation, he feels as though he should say or do something. He wants to see her smile again.
His eyes fall to her hair again, and he's suddenly hit with her comment from before. Instantly Crosshairs is filled with the urge to touch, to instill onto Ellie the same soft sensations she's been giving to him. There's a moment or two of doubt, until the mech in him says 'frag it' and causes him to give in. Crosshairs reaches up and tentatively brings his fingers to the blonde strands near Ellie's face.
Slowly, his fingers drag through her waves, exploring the soft texture of her hair in a way that would otherwise be impossible without his holoform. Ellie has since gone still, her eyes widening a fraction, but she says nothing in protest to what he's doing. Even from where he's sitting, he can smell a sweet, flowery scent waft from her locks, enticing him to come closer. It's dizzying to him as a Cybertronian to experience so much sensory stimulation in this much detail.
Crosshairs has never touched something so soft, or smelled something so sweet, or heard anything more exhilarating than the breathless sigh she releases. Suddenly he realizes, too, with her face illuminated by little more than a small lamp and a muted television, that he's never seen a more beautiful being than the one facing him in this moment.
His spark is pulsing so hard that he can practically hear it in his ears. It's beyond anything he's ever experienced before, this intensity of so many emotions and so many words bundled into him, and yet he can't figure out a way to release it all. But when he brings his fingers through her hair again and Ellie breathes out his name, laid to rest is any and all hesitation. If he can't say it, he's going to damn well show it.
With his other hand, and with his eyes never leaving hers, Crosshairs takes the comb from her grasp, tosses it on the table and reaches for her. Ellie squeaks as she's succumbed into his powerful arms, and finds purchase on his shoulders as he pulls her over his lap. Instantly his one hand reaches for her hair, dragging it through the golden tendrils similarly to what she'd done to him, and Ellie all but melts into him, trembling.
"Thomas ever do this?" He asks as his fingertips brush the underside of her delicate jaw.
"No," she whispers.
Crosshairs grins, "Good."
With that, he cups her face and brings her closer. Ellie doesn't resist in the slightest, hands grasping each side of his face as he brings her down for a kiss. Crosshairs's spark spins tenfold, and for a moment it feels as though it's about to burst from its casing. He's overwhelmed by so much that he can't even process it, so he instead focuses on Ellie, focuses on everything he can on her lovely figure.
The word "human" doesn't even cross his mind. They have long abandoned that barrier, left it broken down and forgotten and are now tumbling down a path of infatuated indifference. It's similar and yet so different from his past experiences. Everything feels so intensely sensitive - the feeling of skin on skin as opposed to metal on metal, the enhanced sensations of physical touch as he runs a hand up her back and feels her squirm, the small noises that escape her between their lips...
They separate only when Ellie seems out of air. She's practically panting for breath, her heart about as hyperactive as his own life source. He can hear it, the pulses beating quickly in her chest. Crosshairs strokes her cheek with a thumb, "You okay?"
Ellie stares back at him for a moment, then gives him the brightest smile he's ever seen, "I've never been better."
Some pre-DC part of Crosshairs wants to make a witty comment, but Ellie leans forward and wrestles his mouth into silence before he can. He surrenders to her easily enough. Kissing isn't necessarily new to him - Cybertronians did it, but it wasn't very common, at least not to the extent of humankind. They felt no real pleasure in it, as there are far more sensitive areas of the Cybertronian body to pay attention to. Now though, in holoform, he sees no good reason why kissing Ellie isn't pleasurable.
When they pull back again, Ellie strays from his lips and instead moves down, trailing small kisses down his cheekbone and to his jaw, clearly uncaring of his facial hair. Her hands drag down his chest and suddenly, something clicks in place in the depths of Crosshairs's foggy processor.
His digits skim over pristine, mint green armor, enticing sweet giggles into his audios. Her sky blue optics gleam with thrilled mischief, her lovely faceplates contorted between adoration and ecstasy. With a grin she tips his head up, to bring their lip plates together again, exchanging rapid, hot vents between each other.
He groans as her petite digits pry under his red and blue military-grade armor, plucking at sensitive wires, inflicting pleasure throughout his frame. Underneath them, the chair squeaks.
"Careful, sweetspark," he murmurs, between pants, "Don't wanna make a ruckus... mm..."
She laughs - an airy, sultry sound, "Wouldn't want Sergeant Kup to walk in, now would we?"
"We'd be doin' washrack duty for the next vorn."
She laughs again. Bumps her helm against his playfully. Then whispers, low and suggestively, "Why don't you take me to your quarters then, sir..."
The sudden memory causes Crosshairs to pause. The femme's voice lingers in his processor and he can almost, almost feel the phantom sensations of her touch. For a moment he doesn't know what to do, but Ellie doesn't seem to notice right away as she only continues to press soft kisses to his neck and jaw. The familiarity of this position quickly becomes clear from the memory and Crosshairs briefly grimaces to himself.
"...Crosshairs?" Ellie pulls away and stares down at him, finally noticing his lack of reciprocation. She frowns slightly, "Is something wrong?"
Crosshairs hesitates, stuck between telling her the truth or brushing it off. He feels vaguely guilty - it wasn't his intention at all to start thinking about a past partner, let alone her...
Touching her face, he takes in a soft breath and shakes his head, "Not at all, doll."
He brings Ellie in for another kiss before she could respond, or potentially doubt him. He doesn't want to talk about it, and he definitely doesn't want to start remembering her, so he brings both arms around Ellie's petite frame and turns, gently laying her down onto the couch beneath him. Ellie clutches for him, squirming and sighing as he touches his lips to the delicate skin of her neck and shoulder.
Ellie's fear lingers - Crosshairs knows from the initial tensing of her body, the tremble in her breath, and the flicker of uneasiness in her eyes. The thought of being beneath a powerful man threatens to intimidate her, push her back into the dark memories she's tried so hard to escape. For a fleeting moment Crosshairs fears she's already tumbled down that dangerous place in her mind and is ready to pull back, but Ellie touches his face and meets his eyes, clearly determined to remind herself of him, that Crosshairs is the one above her and no one else.
"I won't hurt you," he whispers, stroking her jaw.
"I know," Ellie whispers back.
