Chapter 36
Amanda woke up around 3:00. She didn't have a nightmare, but she couldn't sleep. She snuck out of bed quietly and went into the living room. She was still disappointed in herself, so she wrote two letters, one to Melinda and the other to Sergeant Beck. At 4:30 she knocked on Melinda's door knowing she was up eating or getting ready for work. "Melinda it's me, Amanda." She opened the door, a little shocked, "Why are you awake?" Amanda shrugged, "I couldn't sleep. Here is an apology note for you and can you give this to Sergeant Beck for me? I know it doesn't take back what I said and did but, it's all I can do." Melinda smiled, "You're a good kid and I know you don't like to be called a kid, but to us you are. Now get your ass back in bed, before Liv finds you out here" she said with a wink.
Amanda went back as quiet as she could. She felt better and fell asleep on the couch. When Liv woke up to an empty bed she sighed, "Not again!" She jumped up and looked in the bathroom, guest bedroom, and finally the living room. Amanda was sleeping, so she left her there and took her shower. She turned on the Keurig to make her coffee and woke her up, because she wanted to know why she ended up on the couch. "Amanda. Baby wake up and take your shower so we can eat breakfast together." She kissed Amanda's forehead and saw those pretty blue eyes. "Okay Liv!" Amanda took her shower, while Liv made blueberry pancakes, Amanda's favorite. "Hey! Are you feeling okay?" Amanda sat down, "Yeah Liv! You made my favorite? I didn't…" Amanda stopped talking and Olivia sat in front of her to eat her breakfast. "You didn't… what Amanda." Amanda looked down, "I didn't think you would want to make me breakfast and be nice to me after yesterday." Olivia knew Amanda was broken. Her family just did all the wrong things. Yes she needed guidance and some discipline, because she could be a wild card, but it broke her heart to think she wouldn't love her when she messed up. This had to be addressed right now.
"Amanda, I'm not gonna stop loving you, or cooking for you, or being with you because you mess up. Is that how you ended up on the couch?" Amanda shrugged, "I couldn't sleep, because I was disappointed in myself and I wrote apology notes to Melinda and sergeant Beck. I just didn't expect you to be nice to me." Olivia stood up and pulled Amanda into a hug, "I punished you last night and now it's over. I'm not even gonna bring it up again. I wanted you to learn and that's it. Now eat your pancakes, because I made them with love. I do love you Amanda." Amanda smiled, "I love you too!" Amanda did love Olivia, but the talk last night also had Amanda thinking. Olivia had relationships with guys and Amanda wondered if she would ever get tired of her. They both ate, Amanda decided not to bring it up, and they headed to work.
Work was busy, really busy. Olivia and Fin were on call after call. At one point everyone was gone, Amanda figured something bad really happened. Amanda was happy she completely finished 3 of her easy courses and was 75% done with a hard one. School work also kept her mind off of what she needed to ask Liv. "I've missed you today", she heard Liv whisper as she wrapped her arms around her neck. "Liv! I missed you too and guess what? I finished 3 courses." Olivia smiled and leaned on her desk, "I've got to stay longer today, so that leaves you with a choice. Do you want to stay with us and we order dinner or I can call one of the girls for you?" Amanda didn't know what to say, "Well if you're busy I can go." Olivia said, "I'm busy, but you can stay if you want. I'd rather you be here so I can steal a kiss or two when I'm feeling tired." Olivia had a busy day, but after this morning she wanted to reassure Amanda she wasn't angry anymore. "Liv I'd rather stay with you, but no more school work. Can I use your Mac?" Amanda packed her bag, "Sure and you don't have to sit in here. Let's order dinner."
Amanda enjoyed staying late. She ate dinner with the squad and didn't have to sit in the office. After dinner they all were on a case. Since she was alone, she decided to Google, How to make your girlfriend happy in bed. Amanda saw all kinds of things on this site. She had never seen so many sex toys. She didn't even know how some of them worked. She knew the basics, vibrators and stuff like that, but had never used one. They had all different sizes and colors. She wondered if Olivia had one or would be willing to use one. She clicked page two and moved closer to the screen, "What the fuck is a butt plug?" Then she saw strap-ons. That turned her on and she thought Olivia would think she was sick. "Oh my gosh" she whispered. Suddenly she heard a door and saw a guy being dragged out of a room with handcuffs on. Olivia walked up, "What are you doing?" Amanda slammed the Mac closed "Wow Liv! Fin yanked him up." Olivia smiled, "You ready to go home?" Amanda grabbed her stuff, trying to forget about what she saw and what she wanted to do with Liv. She would need to talk to Olivia, because she couldn't lose her. "Yeah! Liv we can still catch This is Us." Olivia and Amanda said goodnight to the guys and headed home. Olivia was checking the mail, "Baby take your shower first, so you don't miss any of your show. I'm gonna read the mail." Amanda took her shower and started watching tv. Olivia came out to find her zoned in on the television. "You really like TV, huh? Seems addicting." Amanda faced Olivia, the shows are really good Liv. I guess it's the one thing I've always liked to do. That's why I didn't pick to be grounded." Amanda flashed that smile and blinked those baby blues. "You're so cute!"
Olivia actually liked This Is Us. She was still trying to get the characters and everything that happened, but Amanda was really good at explaining it. "Liv I have a really good idea. We should pick one show at a time and watch all seasons together, until you are all caught up." Olivia said, "Oh no! I'll just let you explain. Now it's my turn, News please." Amanda let out a sigh and crawled under the covers. "Nice Amanda. I don't do that with your shows." Amanda reached for her phone to check her school email, "Sorry Liv, but the News is boring. I'm going to brush my teeth, I'll be right back." Olivia grabbed her Mac from her bag and opened it up. "What in the Hell Amanda? Amanda!!!!!"
