Chapter 14 / Fade

Date Unknown

It seemed no matter where or when I was in my dreams, I always found myself returned here...to this playground. I find myself sitting on one of the swings and lazily moving back and forth. I know who it is that is sitting next to me in the only other swing without having to look. When I dream she is often, if not always, the only one that is there. I was more than aware this time around. I take a moment before I finally speak. "You are going to laugh at me, aren't you?" I could only think about my current situation and how crazy it has gotten.

"Kay-chan...since when have I ever laughed at anything you've done?" her voice was as sweet and comforting as I had always remembered it to be. But there was also something different...she sounded...older. That seemed like a ridiculous notion but I didn't dare look at her for fear she might disappear and this brief exchange with her would be gone. "But you know...this isn't something you can do alone. But you've started to understand the truth of your life and about what you are capable of."

I nodded not looking to her still...afraid that by doing so would end this dream, "It is because I'm not alone that I can, right?" Did she know this because I was in a dream? Was this just me putting my experiences to have her support me in a odd way?

"Do you know what this place is, Kayane?" She asks as if I should know. She used my full name...often times when she was young she would use my first name to startle me. But with her voice sounding so much older it seemed to be even more effective than usual.

This playground the same place where I had spent so much time with Miyuki in my youth. How could I forget what this place was? It was not only my refuge...it had been our sanctuary. Still I wasn't quite sure what she meant so I answered with the only thing I felt was right. "This place is important to me. Just like you."

"Ikakure Kayane!" Miyuki said my name in full as she stood in front of me and into my view. The image of her shocked me. Revealing herself to me without giving me a choice. But she was different from the Miyuki that was typically in my dreams. I saw her as the young girl that I had last seen her as but no...she was...older. Wait...how was that possible? But still in front of me was Miyuki but she was wearing all blue and her brown hair stylized into a couple buns but her hair still went down past her shoulders, meaning it was a lot longer than could be seen. There was no denying that the individual in front of me was Miyuki...but much older. Despite my shock she continued her lecture, "You are as clueless as ever. This place is a representation of your state of mind." She held out her hand to me. "Do you not see how this place has changed?"

I looked at her and she simply smiled at me. I took her hand and she pulled me up to my feet and I truly saw the world around me. The night turned into day and the field surrounding the playground was covered with flowers that seemed to be on the verge of blossoming. And I saw a familiar figure crouched and facing away from Miyuki and I in the distance. "What...what is going on?" I whispered as I took a couple steps away from the swings.

"You know precisely what is going on Kayane. This place is on the verge of becoming something beautiful but the problem here is you. Kayane..." She forced me to look at her face. My eyes met hers and I could see a culmination of frustration and joy on her face. I too felt equally as conflicted...as if everything in me was telling me that this was the real Miyuki. Then she said words I did not expect, words that no one had ever said to me. "You have to let me go. There is a girl over there in the real world that is ready to love you. To help you experience the joys of life...and you've stopped yourself from experiencing that. She is waiting for you, and you know in your heart that you want it too. You can't keep living your life in regret."

I knew she was speaking only the truth. I was the one that consistently stopped myself from truly moving forward. I spoke about wanting to change but I hadn't fully committed to it in my heart. That was why this place, that represented my mind, lingered in this state. I was still firmly trapped in the past but hadn't accepted that I could have a future. But that simply wasn't true, not anymore. I was scared...but Rise...the other members of the Investigation Team had accepted my past and wanted to help me overcome it. I couldn't keep doing this to myself. "I can't hide myself from the world any longer. My future one way or another is with Rise. Even if I am only with her a short time...or we are together forever from this point on...either way, I can't stay locked in the past. I know that."

Miyuki nodded at me, still smiling. "You don't have to forget the past...but you can accept it and move on knowing that things will get better. That there is a life for you to live beyond it and you don't have to suffer in those regrets anymore. Please, Kay-chan. I want you to live and love this life. It is all I have ever wanted for you, it is what I gave my life to protect. And all I will continue to wish for you, in this life or wherever your future takes you. Don't be afraid. Things will not always be easy...but you can be happy. You deserve to be happy." She turned me towards the figure in the distance, no it was more distinct now. It was a girl...no a young woman. "Go to her and don't look back. I will always be here in your memories and in your heart. But you have a big heart, Kay-chan. Let her in. And show her how much you can return that love to her."

Of course I was scared but I knew it was what I wanted. I had spent my life in solitude...wanting to suffer because I wasn't there to help Miyuki...to protect her. In the end she protected me and I had only felt lost. It took me so long to eventually find my way...and I have made so many mistakes and regrets along the way. But now I could move forward...I could finally be the man I always wanted to be...but I had to take the first step. I slowly stepped towards the young woman in the distance...moving away from Miyuki. I began taking step after step slowly moving faster...to a walk...to a jog...and finally running towards the girl in the distance. This was it! I would change everything.

I may stumble...and I may get hurt along the way...but I had to accept things and press forward. Rise...I wouldn't avoid it any longer. I wouldn't ignore you or your feelings anymore...I had to keep moving. Just as I was about to reach the girl...I knew it was Rise...I suddenly heard the sound of thunder before my view disappeared.


November 6th, 2011 / Daytime
Heaven (Nanako's Dungeon)

I slid on the ground as the Shadow swiped at me. Its hand harmlessly moving over the air above me. As I slid, I felt what I had to do clearly in my mind. I jumped up towards the Shadow and held my sickles in my left hand as I extended my right hand to the Shadow. I'm unsure what I had seen, or how it had seemingly happened in a instant. I was sure I had seen Miyuki, in that playground...telling me to let her go and move forward. My resolve strengthened as I felt something happening within me. Tsukuyomi...he had learned something new...something that would help me save Namatame from the mass of Shadows that had collected around him. Words came to my mind, "You seek to save those from what you don't understand. But don't allow yourself to be consumed by the masses of emotion. Never forget who you are and why you as an individual set out on your journey!" The arcana card appeared in front of me. "Tsukuyomi! Symphonic Discord!" The card shattered and Tsukuyomi appeared and the Shadow was hit with a blast of sound causing it to split in front of me revealing Namatame. I wasted no time and grabbed him with my right hand and pulled him back hard to free him from the mass of Shadows. He was unconscious and as soon as I freed him the Shadows struggled to maintain its form.

Tsukuyomi protected Namatame and I as the Shadows tried to pull us both back into it. I used all the strength I could to retreat back with Namatame in tow. "Yu! Now is the time!" I yelled out.

The Shadows tried to lash at us again but the mass of Shadows was pushed back by a flashing light. I wasn't sure exactly what had happend but the Shadows was driven a good distance away from me. A moment later the main battle members of the Investigation Team came rushing in summoning their Persona's and bombarding the mass with what I assume was their most powerful attacks. I relaxed and Tsukuyomi returned to me. I let out a massive sigh as I placed Namatame onto the ground after being a relatively safe distance away.

The mass of Shadows dispersed into nothing. The fight was quickly over without Namatame acting as the main catalyst of its form. I looked at the others as they all approached. Despite my exhaustion...I rose to my feet. "How long have we been in here?" The others had no doubt rushed through when they learned that Nanako was taken. I can't imagine it being too long.

"Almost a day. The Shadows here were pretty tough," Yu said as he was sheathing his weapon.

I looked over to Rise and Nanako. "On second thought, you can catch me up later. We need to leave now. I think Namatame and I's presence here might have been detrimental to the formation of this place. There is no way to tell its effects on Nanako. Or just the affect of her being so young in this place."

Yu was the first to move, going over and scooping up Nanako into his arms he started to walk back. He hardly needed any pushing to be convinced of it.

"Yosuke-senpai, give me a hand with this guy," Kanji said motioning towards Namatame. I watched them as I felt my eyes getting heavier. Rise was by my side before I had even noticed. But something definitely felt off.

"Are you okay?" She asked softly and placed her hands on my arm. My body seemed too tired to react one way or the other to her touch. I looked over at her and smiled. I'm not sure why I had seen that place within that dream or how it had seemingly happened within an instant as I had been charging that Shadow but I wasn't about to forget my resolve I gained while I was there.

"Yeah I think I am," I said as I started walking behind the rest of the Investigation Team and off towards the real world. But I knew the night would be a long one. Despite my exhaustion...I wouldn't rest til I knew how Nanako was doing. Still my eyes felt as if they were getting heavier. I mean...I felt fine but I had an overwhelming sense that I should be more concerned about this exhaustion. Or was that really what it was?

There wasn't much to talk about...but Rise stayed by my side as we left the TV world and called the police and paramedics. The cops didn't ask many questions...and we all headed to the hospital after the ambulance. Then we all waited just outside of the emergency room...waiting for any word about Nanako. Well I guess Naoto was the one fielding the questions from the police and Rise stayed with me as she was concerned about my obvious fatigue.

"Nana-chan's still small...so her other self didn't appear like everyone else," Teddie was looking at a spot on the ground. "And she got caught in all that craziness. I hope she'll be okay." I had thought about that as well...but it might have been affected by Namatame and I's presence. More than likely it was formed when Nanako was put in the TV, meaning that Namatame had put her in first and then followed. Likely something about all of that had caused the forming of that world to go wrong.

"Are the doctors going to be able to help her?" Yosuke muttered a thought that I wagered we were all wondering. Were we too late? And me...I felt close to passing out. Was it really just fatigue?

"Waaaah...I'm worried about Nana-chan," Teddie spoke up again. His frustration was obvious and likely why he couldn't stand just waiting around. Of course we all were but Teddie seemed like he had no idea what to do other than vocalize his thoughts. I grabbed my head for a moment as a moment of dizziness passed by. I probably just needed to make sure I ate something...it had been a full day I was in the TV without eating after all.

"Kayane? Is everything alright?" Rise asked full of concern.

"Just a dizzy spell. It can wait until we learn about how Nanako is doing," I dismissed it. Rise reluctantly nodded, she was worried for Nanako as well, but also concerned about my own health.

"A deliveryman named Namatame...The possibility of Nanako-chan being targeted...If only I had been more thorough in putting the facts together...! Then Nanako-chan wouldn't have had to go through this..." Naoto blammed herself...I shook my head. They didn't need to go down this rabbit hole. It was a pointless gesture at this point.

"That...goes for me too. If I hadn't stood there like a lump in front of that bastard, Nanako-chan might've been okay..." Yosuke added his own guilt. I felt instead a buildup of anger. Why were they saying this crap?

"I hate myself...Why do I panic when it matters most...?" Chie added as well. Despite my fatigue I got to my feet.

"Stop it all of you," I could feel my anger quickly burning up what energy I had left. "None of you are to blame...got it? I was there...I was there with her and I failed her! I couldn't get to her...I couldn't..." Tears streamed down my face...tears that I hadn't realized were there. "I..."

Rise pulled me to her...putting her arms around me, "I'm sorry, Senpai."

Then I felt it all at once...my visioned wavered and I took an unstable step. This got the attention of the entire Investigation Team.

"Senpai? You don't look good," Kanji stepped forward and solidified my stance.

"Yosuke, go get a doctor, quick," Yu quickly ordered.

"Got it. Hold on Senpai," Yosuke dashed off.

A strange pulse went through my head and clouded my vision, it wasn't painful but my strength disappeared, and I collapsed against Kanji.

"Senpai? What's wrong?" Rise's tone full of concern.

"Guys I..." It was all I could get out before I lost any strength I had left. Then it suddenly felt like hundreds of hands grabbed me and pulled me into the darkness of unconsciousness.


November 18th, 2011 / Daytime
Hospital Room

My eyes opened but I felt drained...like just even the act of opening my eyes was hard. Still I tried to sit up but my body was being surprisingly stubborn. I had been stuck here...fading in and out of consciousness...for who knows how long now. But why? Time seemed to all meld together...I wasn't even sure how long I had been under since the last time I had woken up. I didn't understand why I couldn't move my body...it was as if something kept me strapped to the hospital bed, but I could visibly see that I didn't have any such restraints. Which just begs the question...what the hell was wrong with me?

"Hey, I think he woke up," a voice I didn't know said. I looked up to see a girl in a blue cap that had some sort of gold medallion type object with the letter V. Her short black hair came from her sides and I had a decent look at her blue eyes as she peered down at me. She seemed crossed between alarmed and curious.

"Hey Senpai," Yu appeared on her other side and looked down at me. "I'm glad to see you awake."

"Sure," I muttered realizing it took quite a lot of effort to do so. "How long have I been here now?" It seemed to be a question I asked every time I was conscious enough to do so.

"Twelve days...you wake up in spurts but you always fall back asleep soon after," Yu explained. "They aren't sure why."

"I see," I muttered. Then again you can't expect things connected to the TV world to make sense to doctors that have no knowledge of it. If this was in fact connected to the TV world.

"Kayane-senpai this is Marie-san, she's a friend of mine. I'm going to go grab a doctor, so why don't you talk to her?" Yu didn't give me much time to say anything as he left quickly.

"So...you're Marie-san?" I turned to the girl in the blue hat. "Your a friend of Yu then?"

She was looking down at me, "Yeah, I guess so. I dunno, his other friends were around earlier...there all a bit loud and stupid. But all of them were here to see you. I mean...really stupid. What kind of pun is sub-buttle anyway?" I could hardly imagine the conversation that was a part of.

"Sounds like something stupid Teddie would say," I managed.

"No it was that Yukiko girl. Then everyone started laughing...I mean I guess it was funny," Marie shrugged it as if she didn't enjoy it...but even in my state I could see she had. "I've heard a lot about you. But this is the first time we've had the opportunity to meet. And you're stuck in a bed."

"You have a way with words," I tried to be sarcastic but I'm not sure how my words come out. Why did it take so much energy for a simple conversation or to keep my eyes open?

"It's nothing wrong that you did...you know. But it feels like something or someone doesn't want you to get up. Like something is holding you here...but it isn't you...but maybe something tied to you...I think?" Marie looked confused as if she was trying to sort through something intangible. "You can ignore me I don't really know why I'm saying this."

"That's better than me though. I think things in my head but can never say them out loud. At least it feels that way to me," I had finally committed to telling Rise how I felt but now I was apparently stuck in a hospital bed. And for some reason it was all I could really think about. "Maybe you can tell me, Marie-san. What is it like to be in love?"

"Love?" her eyes widened and she looked away from me her face growing red. "How should I know stupidjerkdon'taskmehardquestions..."

I wanted to laugh...I think? But either way I think I understood the hesitation. But I needed to get my thoughts out while I was still conscious enough to say them. I wish Rise had been here for me to tell her. "I think...I've always hated to say what I really feel. In my life...that was only greeted with questions and eyes that only judged me. And maybe why I can't decide how it is that I feel for Kujikawa."

"Kujikawa? You mean Rise-san?" she asked.

"She saved me...saved me before I had ever met her. Her voice was a source of strength in a world that seemed to only want me dead. Even I had just wanted to die...but her voice and song broke through that and showed me that there were still reasons for me to keep moving...but it took me a long time even after that. I had to be taken to that other place where I had no choice but to face my past. It was hard but...it made me think about what I had been doing in my life..." it was hard to keep my eyes open. I closed them but I kept talking. "I wrote the review that eventually launched her career as an idol you know."

"Yeah...she told me that," Marie's voice had gotten softer suddenly. "She said you told her at a really awkward time and she hasn't been able to talk to you about it yet. You shouldn't make your girlfriend worry, you know."

"Girlfriend? We aren't dating," I said weakly. "It sounds nice though...I'd like to try it sometime."

"I see...that's why you're being targeted," Marie said but it didn't seem to be directed at me. "Don't give up...I made friends with all of the others...it isn't fair if you aren't among them. I don't...want to see them sad."

I didn't have the strength to respond and after a moment Yu was back along with the doctor. The doctor began checking my vitals and I think he was talking to me. I nodded when I think I needed to but speaking seemed less important. I felt as if something was pulling me...keeping me disconnected...yeah that was the only way I could think of it. And then...I was pulled back into that darkness.


November 21st, 2011 / Evening
Hospital Room

I felt like hell...it was like something heavy had been sitting on my chest...like I couldn't move...still I forced my eyes open either way. I saw lots of white around me. I was still in the hospital. I suppose I shouldn't be surprised that my situation hadn't changed.

"Senpai!" A familiar voice came from my side. "You...you finally woke up."

"Kujikawa?" It took a lot of effort to turn towards her. I saw tears running down her face as she moved closer to me. I realized that she was holding my hand but for some reason I couldn't feel it. I wonder why that was...maybe I should ask. "What is...going on?"

To say my mind is a mess would be putting it lightly. Did they have me on some sort of drug or something? Why couldn't I feel my lower body? No scratch that, I couldn't feel anything. But having her here made me at least focus. Still that focus wasn't the greatest...it felt hazy as if the world around me was...surrounded in fog, and it was trying to drag me deeper into it.

"How are you feeling?" Rise said as she moved closer...I imagine getting a better look at me.

"I dunno. Can't really feel anything. Is there something heavy on me? I can't move my legs," I said rather quickly and found myself staring into her eyes. Thoughts rushed forward and I spoke, finding that at least for the moment my thoughts sprang to life on their own accord. "Did you know how beautiful you are? You have the most amazing eyes." Was I dreaming? This didn't seem like the real world...I'd be able to at least move if this was real. I couldn't feel anything...who was to say at this point?

"Shh...Senpai...save your strength. Please..." Rise spoke softly...and I think I felt something wet hit my cheek. She quickly wiped it away. Was she crying? Why would she be crying? This was a dream after all...right? Wait I could still feel my face...then this was real? Just what in the hell was wrong with me?

No...none of this made any sense to me. I would be fine...I was just a little tired. Speaking of...my eyelids were getting more difficult to keep open. If this was real then I needed to tell her something that could ease her. I spoke without thinking. "Call me Kayane...if you do...I'll call you Rise. Okay, Rise?" I spoke...but it had become increasingly difficult. It was a step forward right...I wanted to hear her say my name at least once.

"Yes...yes, Kayane," Rise smiled big for me. I liked it...the way my name sounded coming from her. I want to hear it more.

"Good...that's good," I nodded satisfied with what I got across. But again...I felt like something was pulling me...further and deeper within myself. Still...I didn't want to worry Rise. I had to tell her something to ease what she was feeling. Even as those invisible hands threatened to pull me deeper into the fog. "I think...I am gonna sleep a bit more. Will you be here when I wake up?" I forced my eyes to stay open just a bit longer. I wouldn't be able to keep them open for much longer.

"I will be here, Kayane...I promise. Everyday...without fail," She whispered to me.

"Rise, you should know...how I..." It was too hard to stay awake...too hard to fight against whatever pulled on me...once more the hands pulled me under the surface of the fog and into darkness.


November 22nd, 2011 / Morning
Yasoinaba High School Gate

RISE'S POINT OF VIEW

Students paid no attention to me as they walked through the gates into the school. I was torn in a battle within my mind. Should I bother going to school today or head to the hospital? It was only a Tuesday...I shouldn't miss too much if I skipped. Last night he had been conscious enough to speak in what felt like too long. Hearing him say my first name for the first time was almost too heartbreaking and not at all how I had imagined it going. No...I had always imagined that moment being so much more intimate. Instead...seeing him in that bed as if he was a prisoner to it had just pushed me constantly to tears. What was the point in all of this? He was finally stepping forward, finally trying to live for the first time in way too long and now this...whatever it was it was holding him hostage.

I found myself turning away from the school and started walking...I had gotten halfway down the hill before I heard a familiar voice call my name.

"Rise-san, stop," Yukiko and Yu were coming towards me from the school. Along side them was most of the other members of the Investigation Team. Chie, Yosuke, Kanji and Naoto were there as well.

"I can't," I shook my head vehemently. "I can't just sit in my class while Kayane is in the hospital."

"We all understand how hard this is but..." Naoto started but I didn't want to hear it.

"No you don't!" I yelled. "I mean I had my suspicions from the way both he and his Mom acted when I brought it up but he finally admitted that he wrote the music review that allowed me to have the chance to be an idol. While it may have been edited and everything by Nanase-san it was his feelings and emotions to my song that made the Producers in Takura Productions to take a chance on me. He finally told me the truth about it. He was so scared taking that leap, of putting his trust in me, in any of us. And it isn't fair that this happens when he finally takes that step forward!"

"Rise-san, don't you dare try to suffer alone in this," Kanji angrily stepped towards me. "You may be in love with him, and he is special to you. I get that, we all get that. But don't think for a second that Senpai isn't important to the rest of us either."

I hung my head, "I guess I am in love with him...more than I realized. But all I can remember is that night when he told us about himself. About his suicide attempt and how he cut himself. I failed him then. I wasn't there to support him when I should have. I hesitated but I don't ever want to do that again. I want to be there every time he opens his eyes. Every moment I'm away from him all I do is think about how he is doing. The thought that the next time he closes his eyes could be his last absolutely terrifies me. They don't know what's wrong with him." My voice broke as tears streamed from my eyes. "He used my first name for the first time last night. He asked me to use his. I could tell in his eyes that there was so much more he wanted to say. My heart feels like its being torn apart. I don't want to see him like this!"

"You can't put your life on hold and be there every moment of every day. You know that isn't what he would want," Yukiko said softly and put her hand on my shoulder before pulling me into her arms as I felt myself overcome with tears. "We will go see him every moment we can, okay? You've always been so strong and encouraging to all of us, and I know that what he would want from you now too."

Yukiko was right...I had always done my best to support the others...thats why my Persona had the powers that it did, right? I wasn't sure if I could be that strong when faced with the possibility of losing Kayane, but I also knew that he wouldn't be so happy with me if my grades took a nose dive while he was in the hospital. After a moment I wiped the tears from my eyes and looked back up at the school.

"We'll go right after school today," Chie added.

"Right," I nodded and headed back up to the school.

The school day had been just as hard as I thought it would be. The lectures were so much longer, and I had even attempted to pay closer attention by writing notes or various scribbles. The day just seemed to drag and drag to the end of the day. So when that final bell ring I couldn't have leaped out of my chair faster. I gathered my bag and went down to the shoe lockers and quickly switched out and was out the front of the school in record time. I gave a text to Yu that I would be going ahead of them and made my way to the bus stop to head to the hospital.

Or at least that was the plan. But as I got there I notice a car pull up to the side of the road and the window open. "Rise-chan, are you heading to the hospital?" I knew that voice.

"Tsukio-san?" it was Kayane's Mother. "Yes, I was going to catch a bus..."

"No need for that, get in," she smiled and unlocked the door. I didn't hesitate to get in.

As soon as I closed the door she was pulling back onto the road. "Thank you, Tsukio-san."

"Don't worry about it dear. After everything you've done from my Kay-chan, I owe you more than I could ever fully express," She said softly as we continued down the road. It wouldn't take us more than ten minutes or so to get there. "I do have a question though. How serious are you with him?"

I blinked, "Huh? What do you mean?"

"Rise-chan, don't think I haven't noticed the way you look at him. I've been in love a few times and I know it when I see it. Especially in the eyes of a young woman like yourself. I tried to warn you...getting close to him would be painful. But this isn't something you can predict," Nanase voice was soft and full of emotion.

"It doesn't matter if I get hurt. I know there is a lot of problems that Kayane and I would have to work through. I know it is going to be equally as hard for him to keep pushing forward when so much tends to remind him of what happened to him in the past. But anything that hurts me...I know will be more than worth it in the end. I want to see him...the real him. The one he only shows when he gets lost in his music. I don't know if I can but I want to help bring that Kayane to the surface, so he no longer has to hide within himself or hide from the world around him," I found the words come naturally, giving voice to the feelings I had for some time. "I do love him...and I plan to stay with him for as long as I can."

Nanase nodded, "I feel so relieved to hear you say that. There is still a lot for you to learn about him. I want him to experience love, to experience all the amazing emotions he has denied himself for so long. For so many years I tried so hard to get through to him. I tried therapist, psychologist, group therapy, councilors. they all gave the same thing. If anything Kay-chan became an expert at providing the right details so they would insist to me that he didn't need it. I was scared for so long that my daughter was not the only one I had lost back then." We turned down another street that headed to the hospital. "He wasn't my child by birth, but I have always considered Kay-chan to be my son. Always. And I knew...could see it every single day...just how lifeless he had become. All my fears became painfully true when he attempted suicide. I still remember how much I was shaking when I came in to the hospital. I was never mad at him. Never blamed him. I just cried and cried for days because I just felt so hopeless, like I would never be able to save him. Kayane hadn't been living...he had been slowly moving to suicide more and more every day that he lived. Because to him it was like he could never escape from that past. No matter what anyone said to him or did...he continues to blame himself for Miyuki's death. All of that changed when he heard your demo song."

I stiffened, this was a point of view I never thought of when it came to regards to that song. Of course...Kayane would never truly say how much he had been suffering...or possibly he didn't know just how bad it looked from his Mother's view. "He says 'Star Bright' is his favorite song of mine," I added feeling a bit numb by this conversation and the overwhelming emotion Nanase was giving. We pulled into the parking lot and she quickly found an empty spot but neither of us got out of the car as she turned it off.

"I often let him listen to demo's of songs that pass by my desk. Comes with the territory of being a Producer and music reviewer. He listened to it over and over again...I thought he was just being thorough, but then the next day he brought to me a stack of papers...and on it...it was as if he had poured his heart and soul into it. I took it from him and in the privacy of my office, I cried. Finally...I had finally found a way to get through to him. After so much time and frustration I could see a silver lining. I immediately called Takura Productions and told them to green light you before I had properly wrote up the review. What you don't know is the review you have is only a third of what he actually wrote. Because in that review he wrote incredibly intimately on how he related the song to himself and his experiences with the trial against my husband and his Uncle and the death of Miyuki," Nanase looked at me with a smile and tears in her eyes. "Nothing else has ever affected him so much in his life before or after then. I still couldn't push him forward but your song saved his life, stopped him from attempting suicide. He still created a habit of cutting himself...but I could manage that better than him attempting suicide again."

I had no idea what to say. She loved and cared for Kayane so much yet she always seemed to keep up such a strong front in his presence. She was such an amazingly strong woman, I could hardly hope to compete with her.

"You don't know how happy I was to see you enter his life. Just like your song, you manage to break through his defenses and shine a light on him...and because of you he's smiling. It's not a hundred percent yet but its really getting there. You've reached him in ways that no one else can. I can finally see that young boys smile again. Maybe its unfair of me...No, it is definitely unfair for me to push so much on to you. And while I know you've had your own difficulties that resulted in you leaving show business...I beg you to please be there to support my Son. He deserves to be happy, and I know that if you take a chance in him, one day he will return that happiness to you.." She bowed to me...somewhat awkward considering we were sitting in her car.

"Tsukio-san, I'm in love with your Son," I said softly. "You already know that." What she was implying meant going beyond that though...I knew that. She was asking me to make a life long commitment. "I promise you, I will stay with him and I'll do everything I can to protect him." Saying those words solidified my oath in my mind. It didn't matter where this path would take me...it didn't matter how much pain I might have to go through. I loved him beyond what mere words could express. I wanted to pursue him, to find the true Kayane that hid beneath the walls and in the depths of his heart. I wanted to take him by the hand and lead him back to the sun light. And there I wanted to see his smile, the one that reflected the man he really was...and from there I wanted to travel into the future with him. I knew without a doubt that I would do anything to make this happen. No matter what price I would have to pay.


November 28th, 2011 / Late Evening
Hospital Room

"I am telling you to go home," an unfamiliar voice seemed to be close to yelling. It was really hard to open my eyes though.

"I am not leaving Kayane. So just leave me alone. This is my choice," I knew Rise's voice even with how hard it was for me to focus. Something was obviously wrong with me...but what concerned me was that Rise was fighting someone...but why? She sounded incredibly upset and angry. Similar but different emotions. It was hard to tell in my current state as I seemed to be unable to really move even my head now. Still I focused on listening to the argument.

"It has been over twenty days since he went under, you are wasting your time on a good for nothing..." the woman's voice was cut off by one that I knew.

"You do not want to finish that sentence," It was a new voice. It was Yu.

"Who are you?" the unfamiliar woman's voice become a little louder...still nearly yelling. Much like a near uncontrolled anger that was barely being kept in check.

"A friend," Yu said calmly but I could hear the edge in his voice from here. "Kayane-senpai has done a lot for Rise-san...even if he himself isn't aware of it. But she is...she's made her choice. And it is her choice to make, no one else's."

"It seems you've gotten some rather impertinent friends, Rise. First you leave show biz because what? You're tired? And then you further shame us by falling for someone that obviously can't take care of themselves and..." but they suddenly stopped. I don't know why as it was replaced by silence. But the next one to speak was Rise...and there was no denying the anger behind it.

"You can say all you want about me. I can handle that. But you don't know two shits about Kayane, or what he went through in his life. Don't you dare ever talk about him like that in front of me. Like it or not, he is the man I am in love with and unlike the other people in his life...I will never give up on him! I won't falter...I won't fail him again. No matter what I have to do!" It was Rise who was yelling. Wait...she had said my name...was something seriously wrong with me? There had to be right? This couldn't be just a dream. Wait...did she say she was in love with me? That usually isn't a way someone wants to find out. But I felt so groggy I wasn't exactly sure if I was dreaming or not. My mind felt so...foggy, and things made less and less sense the longer I remained awake. But I had to be awake...and I wanted to be. Especially if Rise was near by.

No one was speaking...man I wish I could get my eyes open to see what was going on. And I wanted to know why...actually did they say it had been twenty days? Now I was worried... Was I dying? I used what strength I had and forced my eyes to open.

"Kayane," Rise was by my side in an instant...I was staring into her beautiful brown eyes. I wanted to smile...but I couldn't feel my lips...I couldn't move it at all...I couldn't talk...I could see her but I couldn't say anything. What the hell was wrong with me? I couldn't feel anything...it was like I wasn't connected to my body and my eyes had simply become windows I could peer through.

"How has he been?" Yu asked, I assume from some place close to her. I didn't try to find him and instead focused entirely on Rise.

Rise seemed to ignore him and instead simply looked into my eyes. "He is spending longer and longer without waking. He...doesn't seem able to talk anymore. But that is okay...I know he'll get better. He just needs time."

"And you need to rest," Yu said.

"Not you too...my Mother is bad enough but..."

"I am not telling you to leave his side. Look I talked with one of the nurses I know and explained the situation. She says you can sleep right here next to him. I just don't want you to collapse," Yu was concerned for Rise. What was going on? The fact that I knew nothing frustrated me. The fact that I can't talk pushes me over the edge. "Senpai?" Yu looked down at me.

"He's crying...Hold on, Kayane. I'm right here with you," Rise had my hand in hers...but I couldn't squeeze it...couldn't even feel it. Why? WHY? My vision was started to get clouded by fog once more...as if it was engulfing the room...but it was obvious only I could see it

"Senpai...I wanted to thank you. You saved Nanako. She told me how you found her in her dreams...you told her to live. That way she would have lots to tell her Mom when she finally moves on. She is doing just fine now. So don't forget that you have to live too. We are all waiting for you to come home," Yu said. I am glad...at least I had done something right...and Nanako was safe and sound. I'd finally done it...I was able to protect someone. "Rise-san...please get some rest."

"I will...but I am going to sit with him a bit more," She said...and then Yu disappeared from my view. I just assumed he had left. A moment later Rise was smiling her brilliant smile at me. The one I could never get enough of...the one I wish I could see every moment for the rest of my life. Yeah...when I thought of her...I saw that most amazing smile...but there was something wrong with this smile. Its because I couldn't talk back...because I was laying here unable to do anything. Was I really this powerless? I knew these eyes and the sadness that it held. They were the same eyes I Mom had for all those years. All those people told her I was fine. But she knew...she saw through me to the truth. And now Rise looked at me...worried that I would never get out of this bed again. And I had no way of telling her if she was right or wrong. Slowly she parted her lips and spoke again in a whisper, "Kayane...you're so mean. I had so much to tell you...you had to tell me the truth in the middle of that battle. You wrote that review...Nanase...your Mom told me all about it. My music reached you before anyone else...and even if it helped you...it also helped me...it set me on my path to discover what I really wanted in my life. And it took me so long to finally figure it all out. Funny how it eventually brought us together. And really...its just like you to not say the truth...you didn't even recognize me as Risette because you rarely looked at my pictures...you only listened to my voice. Maybe I saw the fact you recognized me before but a lot of people are that way. But not once...and I mean not once, after you knew who I was did you change how you treated me...I was still Kujikawa Rise to you. You never knew how I acted as Risette because you only listened to my music. Unlike everyone else...even the other members of the Investigation Team, you saw me...the real me more than anyone. But you also knew a truth about me the others didn't."

Rise was still looking down at me...I couldn't look away from her...all this that she was saying...she wanted to say this when I could talk back...not when I was paralyzed on a bed. Still she continued.

"You must have heard it...maybe at a subconscious level but I know you did...that over time I had lost my love of music along the way...when I lost myself. I thought the Risette that everyone saw was fake...just a persona I used to sell CD's and concert tickets. I lost my drive...and my energy to keep it up. I know it was slowly showing in my performances. In the review you originally wrote...you called out the fact that my love for singing and music came through in my voice. I heard from your Mom that you had noted something sounded off about my newest stuff...and yet it is the only time I had ever heard someone bringing it up. You were able to tell such an important thing without ever knowing me...without us ever meeting or speaking to each other...you could tell when I meant something and when I didn't. Even as we started to get to know each other...you continued to see through me...you knew when I was putting on an act and when I was being honest. You see me...you really see me...and that...means more to me then I could ever fully express. Thats why as scared as I know it might make you...as hard as it might be for the both of us...I still want to tell you. Though I suspect you've known this for quite a while and you just don't want to admit it. It's not an easy subject for either of us after all. Still...here it is. I love you, Kayane. I know we still don't know each other that well...but I want to take the time to do just that with you. I want to know all your favorite foods...favorite books, colors and music. I also want to know what you don't like...maybe there is certain music you don't like...or don't like sweets...or maybe certain movies you never want to see. I want to know...I want to know it all." Rise said her voice seemingly cracking as more tears fell from her face. "Trivial stuff...things that don't seem like they matter. But all of it would be like precious treasure to me that I would savor."

I knew that...damn it, I knew that. I already knew all of this because I'm not blind. I was finally ready to talk about all of this...but as she spoke the fog around me became more and more dense. I tried to open my mouth...used everything ounce of strength I had to try and make any kind of sound. Anything at all...but nothing...nothing at all happened! No...no...no...no...no...NO...NONONONO! What was going on? I couldn't die...not now...not when I had finally decided to live...not when I had finally decided to open my heart to her. And now your telling me I would never have that chance? That I would never be able to tell her anything or respond to the feelings she's just openly confessed to me? Her heart was in front of me and I could do nothing to respond back! No...thats bullshit! No...I love her...I LOVE HER...she saved me...it was her voice...hers alone that pulled me from the depths of the darkness and back to the light. And then she saved me again...multiple times...again and again she has been there for me...and now something is holding me back from that? No...NO...I WON'T BE HELD BACK! I WILL MAKE IT BACK TO YOU...RISE!

"I'm sorry, Kayane. I wanted to tell you for so long. So please...please don't leave me. I need you in my life," Rise's own tears mixed with my own. This couldn't be it...This wasn't how it was supposed to end. NOT LIKE THIS! Not like this...not like this...n...ot...li..k..e...t...h...i...s.

The hands from the darkness didn't care for my pleas and pulled me back to its depths within the thick fog, against my will. Until I could no longer sense anything at all.


December 1st, 2011 / Daytime
Hospital Room

"Hey Senpai," a familiar voice made me focus a bit more and I looked around. Was I really here? It was so hard for me to tell anymore. It was Yu...but it was more than just him. It was the entire Investigation Team. "We all came to see you today. And even brought another visitor for you."

"Kay-chan," it was Nanako. It was good to see her...well it was nice to see all of them...but I knew for sure that I had been able to help in Nanako's rescue. "Thank you for rescuing me...and telling me what I needed to know about living. I am going to be living so I can make as many memories as possible...that way I can tell my Mom all about it."

The others seemed to shift slightly from where they stood. Yu stepped forward and put his hands on Nanako's shoulders. "I know it is because of you that Nanako is fine...but you have to pull through Senpai...you have your own memories to create. Just like what you told Nanko-chan."

The raven haired girl, Yukiko stepped into my view and she reached forward and placed her hand on my forehead. "Things aren't the same without you, Senpai. No one laughs or even smiles...not when we know you are fighting for your life. Please get better soon. We're waiting for you...all of us are."

She stepped back and it was Kanji that moved into my view, "Senpai, I uh...been wanting to ask about your fashion...about where you shop since I typically make my own clothes. I was thinking when you get better I could go with you. Maybe even help you save money by making it for you. I just wanted to have a chance to know you better since we haven't really hung out or anything...but uh...you seem like a real cool dude Senpai. So hurry up and get better."

"That goes for me too," Yosuke said moving to the other side of Kanji. "We know what kind of talents you have but we still want to learn more about you. And that means you need to get better and out of this bed."

"I...I'm the same too," Chie appeared on the other side of my bed...my eyes turned to her. She was in tears. "Please get better Senpai. You are the only Senpai that has ever been kind to Yukiko and me. We want you to be around so..." She shook her head. "We have finals and I am not doing good at all. Last time you had helped us study and I understood a lot more than I had before thanks to you...it would be great to have your help again. I mean I even managed to be more confident last time because the way you explained it made it seem so much easier than when the other teachers did. So please...don't leave us."

The three of them backed away from my view and I saw Naoto as she stood next to me. "Senpai, you have incredibly sharp senses. You saw things and put them together in ways I hadn't considered. I'm positive you had made the connection faster to Nanako's kidnapping faster than I did...but I..." Tears fell down her face as Naoto's composure quickly disappeared. "If I had been faster in my deductions...if only I had gotten there sooner...then I would have been there sooner...I could have helped you...I could have saved you. I'm sorry I failed you Senpai..."

"You know he doesn't think that," Yu spoke softly.

"But I did! And even now I'm useless! I can't think of anything...not a single way to save him. My incompetence..." Naoto was interupted with a slap across her face...the angry face of Rise was on the other side of me.

"How do you think the rest of us feel? Do you think we don't feel guilty? We were all there...we had the same information and none of us...none of us could save him! But this isn't what he wants...remember that he saved Nanako. How would we all feel if it was Nanako in this bed? How would Kayane feel if he failed to save her? But he didn't...for once in his life he protected someone...and I know how hard it must have been for him. Doing this...pointing the blame at anyone other than Namatame is pointless. Kayane acted to save Nanako...and he did it...if there is something he feels right now I am sure he is happy knowing that Nanako is gonna be alright," Rise had gripped my hand...she was shaking and in tears. I didn't so much as see it...but I knew I was right. I wish I could say something to them...but it took all my effort just to be conscious. After all...I knew with every moment more of those hands appeared to pull me back into the depth of the dense fog beneath me.

"Rise-chan, I apologize...I just...feel like I should have been able to do more for him," Naoto bowed her head to Rise.

"Oh Doctor please come in," it was Yu welcoming in the one who was in charge of me. "How were the test results?"

"The same I'm afraid. Nothing seems to be wrong but it doesn't change the fact that he is severely weakened. He no longer is capable of speaking or moving his arms. We're afraid at his current pace...he may not have much time left before his entire body shuts down," The doctor made his way to my side and annoyingly flashed some light in my eye from whatever tool he was using. "He seems to be aware of his surroundings currently. Ikakure-san, can you move your fingers for me?"

That seemed like a simple suggestion...but I couldn't feel my fingertips...it probably wasn't a big deal if I could do it. Instead I looked over at Rise...she was so beautiful. I could stare at her all day.

"Doctor...how much time does he have?" Naoto asked.

"I'm sorry...but if things remain consistent then maybe a couple days...maybe three at best." The doctor turned away from me. I didn't know what they were talking about. It sounded so complicated...but I heard sobs from around the room.

"No...not Senpai," Naoto muttered.

"Thank you for your honesty, Doctor," said Yu as I heard the click of the door to my room close. The doctor must have left.

"Let's go to the TV world...maybe we can find something...anything about this," the voice was Teddie. He stood over me. "We're gonna do all we can. Just hang in there Kay-chan."

"Alright, it is worth a shot. Rise-san...are you okay to come with us?" Yu asked.

"I'm sorry guys. I'm not leaving Kayane." Rise said adamantly. "My place is by his side."

"We'll let you know what we find," Yu said and soon I could feel that Rise and I were alone once more.

"I love you Kayane. We'll get past this. I know we will...I know we will," Despite her words I heard her break down to tears as I was once more those same hands had wrapped around me and once more taken me into the depths of the fog, cloaking me in darkness.


December 3rd, 2011 / Late Evening
Hospital Room

"I need you to leave. Only family can be in here right..."

"Get your hands off her. She is Kay-chan's fiancée. She is family," It was Nanase...my Mom. Why was it so hard to hear everyone?

"I...I apologize...please...come in. He...doesn't have much time," the other voice said. Was it male or female? I could no longer tell the difference.

"We're here, Kay-chan. Can you try opening your eyes?" My Mom spoke.

They came into my view...and I wasn't sure how I was opening my eyes...I couldn't feel them. I saw my Mom and Rise looking down at me...tears falling down their faces and all I could do was look up at them. I couldn't understand…Why were they crying? Was something happening? I felt so tired. I was sure if I wanted I could just fall to sleep. My eyes started to close again.

"No, no, no, no, no, no…Kayane…stay with us…stay with me…keep your eyes open," Rise seemed to panic so I did my best and forced them open. "Hey…did you hear what your Mom said? She called me your fiancée. So please…please don't leave. I…I'll do it you know. I'll marry you. I will do anything to keep you here with me. I love you…I love you so much, Kayane. I want to show you…I want to live with you. I want us to go on dates, see movies together. I want to see you graduate…I want us to make music together. To create our own CD…to go on tour together…to be famous together. I want to see you angry at me...I want to see you smile and laugh with me. I want to be loved by you. Or I don't care if you hate me...I just want you to live. I need you...I need you here with me...alive. Don't go...please don't...don't leave me here all alone..."

Rise's words came more rapidly and more desperate as she spoke…and I could hear her crying as she did so. Why was she crying? Was something wrong? Regardless I better keep my eyes open, I didn't want her to panic. I could stay awake a bit longer before I fell asleep again. But the fog was so thick now...how could any of them stand it? Did they not see it?

"Kay-chan…don't go. Not now. Not when I finally saw you smile. I finally got to see you happy. I haven't seen that since Miyuki. And Miyu-chan…you aren't allowed to take him…you hear me? He was finally starting to live…just like you wanted him too," My Mother's voice turned to sobs. I wasn't sure why she was saying all this though. There was something about this I didn't understand.

"You have to get better, Kayane. You aren't allowed to leave me behind. I promise you…do you hear me? I will marry you…if you just come back to me. I'll spend every waking moment with you. I would make it my life to make you happy…so please…please, Kayane…don't go. I love you…I love you…I…"

It's too hard to keep my eyes open anymore. I can feel the hands from the dense fog coming to claim me once again. I don't know why…but I didn't want to go. I couldn't let it claim me this time. I want to stay here with Rise. The reason for that…I can't seem to remember, but I understand that it is important. I know that I don't want to be absorbed into the fog. I needed help…help from someone. So I put everything I had and started screaming, or attempting to…I screamed as loud as I can. The hands engulfed around me pulling me into the depths of the fog. I can no longer see Rise…I can't see my Mother. I can't hear them...nothing. But this time I didn't lose consciousness...no this was different. Suddenly I felt whole again...my senses came alive and I felt myself hit the ground...or whatever it was...my eyes were open but I was surrounded by darkness. Either way this place wasn't where I needed to be. I scream out again and again.

"RISE! MOM!" I called out as I scrambled to my feet. There was no light..nothing to see at all. But that all changed very quickly. The darkness turned to light and I found myself in an unfamiliar place...no scratch that something about this place was familiar. I find myself standing in a field. A field I am intimately familiar with. "Hey, this is…" I pause, another realization crosses my mind. "I can talk?" Then thoughts, feeling and emotions come rushing back into me and for a moment I lose my footing and end up collapsing to the ground. "I...whats going on? All I remember is that fog and...Rise. Wait...where am I? I need to get back and make sure they know I'm okay..."

"Welcome to the Velvet Room, my dear young friend," A man dressed in white tuxedo and wearing a white mask appears from nowhere. I find myself looking up at him as I am trying to catch my breath. "I suppose in your case it is less a room than for those in the past."

"Who are you? And what is this place? I mean why this place? This playground its the same one that…"

He raised his hand which compelled me to stop speaking. If he had some answers then I was more than willing to hear him out, "This the field of your own mind. A representation of your mental state, or rather your very soul. To be specific this place is a dream and not a dream…it is a realm that exists between reality and your mind. As I mentioned before this is the Velvet Room. One that is tied very closely to your fate. And that is precisely why I have summoned you here. Your fate was altered from its original course by an external source and because of that I have come to offer you a way to change it. To give you the means by which to fight against the death that has been imposed upon you."

"And who are you? Why do you know so much about this place?" I repeated my question, cautious of his words. But any answer was better than my lack of answers at the moment.

"I am Philemon," he said with a bow. "You have been lost in the fog for some time now, I think things will become more clear to you if you take a moment to catch your breath.

I nodded and took some deep breaths trying to ease my mind. Slowly it became clearer and the events that I experienced between my bouts with unconsciousness began to catch up with me. Conversations with Rise...she confessed her love to me...I asked her to call me by her first name...and then...the Investigation Team around my bed...fighting off tears. The slow burn of realization must have shown in my expression as I gripped my head. "Oh god…I'm dying." All the information came flooding back to me at once and was incredibly overwhelming. "I can't die yet…I had…"

"Calm down, my young friend. This is precisely the reason I have come to you. Let's take a moment to slow things down. Let's start with something simple. Why don't you introduce yourself?" Philemon's calm demeanor made me somewhat more calm. He was right, I needed to first get my bearings...so start with the basics.

"My name is Ikakure Kayane. And my birthday is January 22nd...I'll be turning 18 in the new year just before I graduate High School," I said allowing myself to calmly breath and and slowly relax. My mind finally began to focus.

"It is a pleasure to meet you, Ikakure Kayane. Let me assure you that I am here to help you. In order to set things back to the proper course. It seems your newly awakened power has attracted the attention of those that would rather see it disappear. As such they have unjustly attempted to change your future. However, I am but a guide and can merely show you the door that can solve your problems," Philemon took a few steps forward. "You hold a different kind of potential than your peers which is why this place...Your Velvet Room was created in preparation for it. While I can not personally help you, I have recently gained an assistant that is more than willing to help you through this endeavor."

"Hold on...I felt fine...how could my life be in danger? What exactly happened? Why am I dying?" I asked as I still pieced together events. "I just remember those hands and that fog..."

"Your soul was corrupted…your psyche…invaded by an outside force. When you used your new Persona ability to separate that man from the Shadows…something found its way into your mind. Its hold on you has slowly pulled you away from your own body, making it incapable of functioning. In short…you will become brain dead in a very short amount of time unless we move quickly. While time is somewhat loose here, we should still move swiftly," Philemon urged.

"So...those hands...was literally pulling me out of my body?" I muttered trying to make sense of it. That meant likely to the others...I was dead.

"Indeed. In essence, what is happening is this outside force using your power against you...to separate yourself from your own body. I am sure you felt a strange disconnect between yourself and your body. That was the result of it, and that connection was weakening until your current state...in which, your psyche has been completed disconnected from your body, and if we do not act that connection shall remain severed. I am sorry I could not help you sooner...I could do nothing until that connection was fully gone and I could extract you from the fog...I was blocked otherwise. But we must not linger," Philemon snapped his fingers and a white door appeared in front of me. "I will send you to the recesses of your own mind. And you must dispel the darkness that has taken residence there. After that, your psyche will begin to repair itself and re-connect with your body. Although this is much as I can do for you. As I informed you previously, I will be sending my assistant with you."

The white door opened and a white mist poured out, but then someone stepped out from it. A familiar figure stepped out from the other side. Adorned from head to toe in blue velvet clothing was a familiar form that was now much older in appearance. One that had appeared to me in this very same outfit in a dream I had not too long ago. "Kay-chan, I would say it is good to see you but, I'm not sure if this is the right kind of situation for that," she giggled.

I stood...baffled. Her name came tumbling out of my mouth, "Miyuki!?"


A/N:

Happy New Year. What better way to start off 2016 than posting a new chapter? And a pretty good sized chapter at that. Still this is also a rather emotionally charged chapter...so lets get into it.

One of the hardest things to ever write about is death. And it isn't because of the characters or anything like that...although it can definitely be a factor. No...for me its because its something that everyone relates to...even if they don't want to. It is something that eventually all of us have to face. In this I wanted to shift it to a different perspective. I also don't care to completely retread the areas that Persona 4 goes as well. Kayane has a very unique ability...and one that is pivotal moving forward. This doesn't make him crazy powerful, as he'll never wield multiple Persona like Yu. But it makes him unique...it also displays something that is very important to the core of Kayane's character and what he values in himself as well as the others around him. Well I won't go that far into it but something you may want to keep in mind moving forward.

I'm not trying to do something mind blowing different...but something more grounded and highly more impacting to the story. I did spend some time developing the relationship with Kayane and Nanako leading to this chapter but I wanted to change the outcome because his presence changes things. This time, Nanako had support and encouragement to not give in to the oppressive atmosphere that the TV world presents. However...Kayane's new found power here has some...interesting possibilities if used by others. Hence why Kayane became a target.

Philemon has entered to counter the actions of another outside force in order to give Kayane a chance to counter it. Well, I hope people are looking forward to this as more is revealed.

As always I'd love to hear your thoughts on this chapter. See you next week with the next chapter.