Chapter 16 / Resolve

Date Unknown / Time Unknown
Kayane's Mind Dungeon

I, naturally, didn't assume that the Shadow would be easy to deal with. As a matter of fact...I knew that it would likely be one of my hardest fights yet. And I was no warrior...only because of the need to fight did I learn. But it hadn't come without its problems. Injuries were high in the beginning...but that was to be expected when using weapons like sickles. With it attached to chains there where advantages and disadvantages that came with it. But that was the same with any weapon. For me I was more flexible than most guys my height. But regardless of how flexible I might be, it doesn't change how unpredictable weapons like sickles can be. For one, using the chains to extend the range...by throwing the weapon, means more thought has to be put in when pulling them back. It didn't help that in the heat of battle your attention was always split...you have to be mindful of your position...the enemies' position and your weapon. After all the training inside the TV world, I had gotten a pretty good handle on things. Using my persona to create distance and recovering my stance seemed to be pivotal to how I fought...but I knew I needed to get better so I wouldn't have to compensate that way. It was more obvious in a situation like this. Fortunately, I was in this place, within my own mind and my Persona was less than a mere thought away.

This Shadow was more difficult than the ones before...it was supposedly created by the doubt and fear in my own mind...the constant questions that always haunted me because of my past. Questions that caused me to doubt my present. Was I good enough for Rise? Would I only lose her one day? Could I ever truly be happy with her? And does being with her mean forgetting about Miyuki? Could history repeat itself if I truly opened my heart? And what would happen if I lost Rise like I had Miyuki? There were so many more questions...and many I knew the answer to...but it came back to doubt and fear. Those moments when I would stop and wonder if I was doing the right thing...or maybe that what I did wasn't enough. Had I not trusted Rise enough? I wanted to give her that chance to know me...to truly know me. And if I loved her...I needed to take that chance...to give a leap of faith...knowing that Rise would never intentionally do harm to me. I needed to let myself be capable of love again. After all...I had already fallen pretty hard for Rise. But shaking away my fears and letting her that close...I knew it scared me. And it was here, ever lingering in the back of my mind. That is what this Shadow was supposed to be. Yet as Miyuki had said before...twisted. Used in order to separate me from my own body. Eesh, my life really had gotten insane lately.

The Shadow resembled me...a younger me, no doubt, a representation of the me in my memories. His slick black hair was short, and he wore a Yasogami High School uniform. Looked more like I did when I had first entered the school. The Shadow was now cloaked in a dense black fog as other shadows began to gathere around it until all I could see was glowing red eyes looking back at me. Then as the fog condensed around it, I had expected it to turn into something else entirely, but instead it split up into a group of five different Shadows. All of them looking like a younger me, all with the same glowing red eyes. Each one wielding the same weapon as myself.

"We will not allow you to return to the living. It is better we die than face that pain again," the shadows spoke in unison before they all attacked. Man, they sounded especially creepy talking like that.

They all aimed at me but Miyuki stepped in to halt three of their attacks with just her hand that held the grimoire. I had no time to ponder on Miyuki's skill or ability as I ducked under the first shadows attack and then rolled wide to my right to avoid the other. I summoned Tsukuyomi, as I sprung back to my feet, to unleash Vorpal Blade as I stabilized my stance. The shadows persisted towards me and I responded by tossing one of my sickles. It seemed to surprise them but the other next to him just reflected it harmlessly away. It hit the ground behind them, blade stabbing into the ground. I quickly unleashed Bufudyne on the ground in front of them. They halted mere inches from it but I hadn't stopped my own momentum. I yanked my sickle back hard and freed it from the ground, then pulled it back as fast as I could. It snagged one of the shadows and striaght into the Bufudyne spell before it had fully dissipated. I used the opportunity to move into the other Shadows blind spot and pull back my other sickle into my hand as I sliced through the shadow with the help of Tsukiyomi's strength. I jumped back as Tsukiyomi emerged and cut through the same Shadow completely with Tempest Slash. The other stumbled back to its feet as the remnants of the bufudyne spell finally disappeared. This had all happened in a handful of seconds.

The Shadow finally recovered and then charged once more...seemingly angry. It's hard to tell because I needed to react so quickly. It started by throwing one of its sickles at me...I side stepped and let it pass me...but I summoned Tsukuyomi and he sliced cleanly through the chain, severing half his weapon beyond the Shadow's reach. The Shadow's balance was thrown off as it had tried to yank the chain back but the loss of weight on the end of the chain and it quickly tried to recover. It swung wildly at me with the one sickle it had left but I met it head. I stepped into the attack and kicked forward with my boots and caught him at the wrist as my sickle came down at its shoulder and with a powerful twist sliced cleanly through the shadow...causing it to disappear. I turn around to see Miyuki easily holding the three at bay but unable to get time to attack herself. I ran and quickly jumped in front of her and swung my sickle out...releasing it from my hand to swing it in in a wide arc using the chain, forcing the Shadows to jump back. I pulled it back in and grabbed it once more into my hand. The time I created was the opening Miyuki needed.

Miyuki flung open her grimoire as a card appeared in front of her. She slammed the large book shut shattering the card as she extended her free left hand out towards the shadows and the emergence of a persona clothed in white...strikingly similar to Tsukuyomi appeared. "Maziodyne!" Miyuki yelled and powerful strikes of lightning quickly hitting the three remaining shadows sending them to the ground. "Now Kay-chan!"

"Tsukuyomi!" I said shattering the card and releasing a Vorpal Blade on the down shadows before Miyuki and I charged in to finish them off. And with only a few moments the fight was over. Well...out time was limited, and we still had another door to get through.

The shadow returned to its original state...as the young version of me but said nothing. I sighed...I shouldn't be surprised that it would function similar to the TV world, "I'm afraid more than I want to admit. However, it isn't just about making friends or letting people see the real me. I am afraid of what comes after that. Maintaining friendships or a relationship...is that something that I can actually do? After all this time I had been avoiding people...I honestly don't know what I am doing when I interact with others. I avoided that for so long that I'm sure I have some social issues just waiting to show itself. And I know that I will make a lot of mistakes...mistakes that may anger or even force people away from me without ever meaning to do so. Regardless of any of that, I have already made my choice. I owe them all a debt that can only be repaid in one way. That is to live. They saved my life and because of that I can't give up. So I will press on despite my fear. I will face it all head on."

The shadow nodded and disappeared...a door appearing before us. Without hesitation I stepped forward and opened it. Then we were back at the playground...the place known as the velvet room. The first door had disappeared...only one door remained standing.

"You're fear will always be there Kay-chan...so don't ever forget the words you said here," Miyuki said with a sorrowful expression.

"I know," I said softly as I took a step towards the last door. Then something felt horribly wrong. The sunny sky over the field of the velvet room suddenly became as dark as a storm filled sky...and then the sound of thunder followed by a downpour of rain. In only a few seconds the landscape had instantly changed. We didn't get wet from the falling rain, but something had changed. Something not good. "Miyuki...what's going on?"

She stepped towards me and put her hand on my forehead and closed her eyes...I didn't question her actions. "Something...something is happening in the real world...something that greatly influences the world here. If...if it doesn't stop then you'll...you'll die. Its...its your friends. And her...Kujikawa Rise."

"Rise? How could they be affecting..." I shook my head. There was so much I didn't understand. What was it? What was going on? I couldn't just stand around and wait.

"Kay-chan...right now to them...you've died and because of it...all their thoughts have been clouded in fog. Something is skewing their judgement...their grief is being twisted to anger and rage...they..." Miyuki spoke with tears falling from her eyes. "If they keep going...they'll make it impossible for you to return...it will seal not just your fate but all of theirs as well!"

I rushed past her to the door. "Come on Miyuki. We have to get going."

"Kay-chan...with the way things are now it will be even harder to face your inner self," Miyuki warned.

"I know that but I am not about to sit back and let someone else interfere with the fate of my friends. I don't have many options...so I am going to do what I can here. And maybe if I am fast enough I can stop them from doing something they would all regret," I slammed the door open and charged inside with no more hesitation.

The halls as I ran through them were similar to before but instead of cold, and ice like...this place was covered with blood. The more I pressed on the thicker and harder it became to move forward. Still I had no time...I could not afford to waste time on the meaning behind it...I already knew what this place was. It was the part of my mind that held the strongest and darkest emotions from my life. My feelings of hatred, rage and the desire to kill the two detestable human beings responsible for Miyuki and my own abuse...and also the desire to spill my own blood. All emotions given birth from despair. The single thought that no one would ever replace Miyuki.

It was the truth after all. Miyuki would always have a place in my heart...but it didn't make my friendships I had now mean any less...and it certainly didn't imply that Rise didn't hold a place in my heart. I knew better though, nothing is ever replaced in the heart or mind...it simply creates its own home. So while I would always remember the pain and anger of my youth...it would also go along with the memories of Rise...and Yu...all the members of the Investigation Team. Some I didn't know that well...but once I was out...I would change that. I had to.

One thing at a time.

Miyuki matched my movements step for step as I made my way through the blood filled halls and up a set of stairs. I crashed through the door ahead of me and came to a stop when a light blinded me.

"Class I want to introduce you to our new student. He's recently moved here from the big city. Help him feel welcome. Go on introduce yourself," my bright eyed brown haired teacher urged me forward. So...it was a memory of then huh? Then I was...

No, I didn't need to be reminded of this. Still my younger self spoke, "Ikakure Kayane." What came out was emotionless voice and only audible enough for those in the front row could hear me. Some of the classmates spoke but I couldn't hear them. Or rather I ignored them, their words simply became background noise and deemed not important. I moved in accordance of the memory and took a seat in the back of the class. I did not glance or acknowledge anyone in the classroom. I simply sat with my school books open and began to read. I was nothing more than a broken doll. There was no emotion...no reaction to the others or the teacher. So I was quickly forgotten about. Eventually no one talked to me...no one acknowledged me. It was no less than what I had given to them. No less than what I rightfully deserved.

The despair...the loneliness in my heart only grew. And my thoughts slowly became more and more destructive. What would it be like to die? Had Miyuki felt anything? I wonder if I died could I see Miyuki? Would it be better for Nanase, my Mom, if I died? Then she wouldn't have me around to remind her that Miyuki was dead. Then I wouldn't have to live in a world without Miyuki. Is what I am doing even living to begin with? Maybe the truth was that I am dead...maybe I was the one that died on that day. It would be better if I was dead...I should be dead. Miyuki should have been the one to live...not me. The thoughts consumed me...tortured me. Like a never ending circle these thoughts consumed me until it was all I could think about.

But that isn't how I am now.

As soon as that thought occurred I was no longer my younger self or in that classroom. I was standing in the blood filled room...my shadow faced me...he was covered in blood and held a razorblade in his hand. The young me...I had been so lost...unsure of how to express myself...on how to deal with the pain I had endured. But those thoughts had never disappeared...they were still there in my mind.

"I need to die...why won't people let me die? I am worthless...I am mud...less than human. I don't deserve the life that Miyu gave to me," my shadow growled as he took the blade and dragged it across his arm...blood slowly emerging from the cut. And then trickling down to drip to the floor. I found myself staring at the cut on his arm. I could feel it without it happening, the feeling of the blade slicing open the skin. I always felt it...tension underneath my skin would slowly leave through the open cut. For a long time it was the only way I could calm myself. Even recently I found myself having to resist the urge.

At my side...Miyuki took my hand. "Kayane...I never wanted to leave you...I didn't want this..." Miyuki was in tears...she was seeing the side of me that was created because of the past...because I lost her. "I wanted to save you...So you wouldn't suffer...not this..." I understood why she cried. No one should have to see just how low I had gotten.

It couldn't change the past or the fact that this shadow was apart of me. I wouldn't deny it, "I know what your intentions had been. And even though things ended up this way...you had even calculated the chance of not surviving as part of your plan. And I also know your real intention was to live...and probably went so far as to plan our future together. Even still there was something you couldn't plan on. And that was how I would react if you died. When you died...so did I, in a way. My hope for the future was gone...because you had been the only good thing in my life up to that point. So I was no more than a lost lamb that simply was waiting to be led to slaughter." No, it was more complicated that even that. I wanted to be led to my death.

"I want to die...I need to die..." my shadow muttered.

I nodded agreeing fully with the Shadow. "In the end it was never my choice to live. A part of me clung to the fact that, at the very least, I needed to live for your sake. You had saved me...and my attempt at suicide only ended in failure. I took it as a message that I had no choice but to live. But I was not living. I was simply being pushed along by the few people that tried to reach out to me. Mom had to watch me all that time...not knowing how to get through to me. She tried so hard to save me. I guess it was Mom's perseverance that led to a eventual event. Mom grasped at my passing interest in Music. Pushing me to continue learning the piano and even taught me how to play the basics at a dozen or so instruments. I looked forward to time with Mom, but seeing her was also painful. I knew she missed you, Miyuki. In the end Mom handed me something for me to listen to. She had been given a song to review from Takura Productions. I had done it before so I took it and listened to it. I had no way of knowing what would happen before I heard that song. It was a voice...one voice that broke through my barriers I had kept up for so long, it had only lasted for only a moment. But it was more than enough." I shook my head and laughed. "Strange that I would later meet the owner of that voice and fall in love for that very same girl."

"I don't think it was strange at all," Miyuki said as she wiped away the last of her tears. "It wasn't just her voice that drew you to her, right? It was more than her voice that attracted you to her."

I couldn't help but smile, "Mom said something similar. She said I recognized that Rise loved music…and that I had felt that coming through in that song. I mean how else could I have written the review that I had at the time? It was the first time I had ever really expressed anything…and with passion. I felt so strongly about this singer and the song she sung. That was why I started to get more involved in my song writing and…maybe I had begun to open up again. 'Star Bright' was the name of the song...a song about reaching out and helping another becoming more than they are...and whenever I listen to it...I feel like she is singing to me...and no one else. Funny how now whenever I am with her I feel like she actually only wants to sing to me." Then there were the times where Rise seemed like she was more likely to jump me and that usually happened after I finished playing something on the piano. I wonder what that was about...

"Kill me…please," my shadow muttered. Holding his cut arm out and offering me the blade he held in his other hand.

"No," I stated defiantly. "Death was never an option for us. It was never the answer or conclusion I wanted and I always knew that! I'll tell you what the real truth of it is." I turned and stepped towards the shadow. "I was nothing more than a coward who was unable to face the fact that Miyuki was gone. No, instead I rotted away while people like Nanase, Miyuki's own Mother, did everything in her power to help me. And in the end I had to be forced to face myself in the TV world to finally get that message through my thick skull and even then I still had more to learn! That's why I am here now and fighting to keep living! I'm done with second guessing myself…I am done with feeling sorry for myself…and I am done trapping myself in the past! I'll never forget what happened in the past, but I also won't forget that I have people that want me to move on to the future!"

The shadow stumbled back and the whole world around them rumbled. Something big was going on. The Shadow steadied itself but everything around us began to rumble.

"Something is happening in the real world! Whatever it is, it is having a huge negative influence on this side. It's directly trying to seal your fate!" Miyuki yelled over the increasingly louder noises that escalated around us.

Blood and parts of the room flew towards the Shadow and began making it bigger. The world around me was falling apart…there was no time to think. My tarot card, the Tower, came floating down in front of me, "Ready, Miyuki?"

"I'm here," Miyuki was at my side. "Just remember this, Kayane. I will always be with you. We're family now, right?"

I understood the weight of her words…more than likely the deciding factor of this fight could determine what happened to me. But I wasn't about to die…not when I had finally decided to live. Miyuki was right though...we were family. If anything we always had been. It was such an obvious answer. Even still the real reason I had to win could be surmised into one name, Rise. I shattered the card in front of me, "Symphonic Discord!" Tsukuyomi rushed forward and sliced the air around the Shadow. What really happened with this skill was that Tsukuyomi used his katana's and created a high frequency sound wave that disrupted the Shadows ability to connect and forcing it to recognize that it is an individual. However everything in this place was the same...all of it was me but it still caused the formation of the Shadow to essentially halt. I continued the offensive with a barrage of skills, "Tempest Slash! Bufudyne! Agidyne!" I persisted without rest, and even though I felt it wearing me down I had no choice but to go full out. But I wasn't the only one.

"Keep at it Kayane! Give me time to prep! Heat Riser! Mind Charge!" Miyuki summoned in quick succession as I focused on my continual attacks switching from magic and physical attacks constantly to keep it on its toes. "Debilitate!"

This fight seemed easy but there was a lot more to this fight. The true test was not my determination or resolve in this moment. No...I don't think it had ever been stronger. This was about what would happen months or years from now. Right now, this was how I felt...but feelings change...people change over time. Persona was probably affected the same way...if it was a representation of your psyche...and it had been true...Rise currently had the Persona Kanzeon but originally it had been Himiko. It had been representative of her resolve and finally moving past her problems of the past. But what did that even mean? Could I ever do something like that? Could I grow more powerful? I guess the only way to find out was to keep pressing onward. I knew that whatever had infiltrated my mind would increase the strength of this Shadow if it could fully form...so I couldn't give it that chance. So I kept up my attack without regard to myself.

Life had never been easy...and I never expected it to be...but Rise brought forward another thought that I never had before. That life might be worth living. It was worth risking myself to find out the truth of that. And it was probably the first time in my life I had ever thought that way. But talk was cheap...what I needed to do was actually act on it...prove that it was what I really wanted. So first things first. Defeat these Shadows and get back to the real world...back to where Rise and the Investigation Team needed me. To the place I wanted to believe that I belonged

I shoved the Shadow away from me as I heard Miyuki whistling from behind me to signal me to back out. I jumped back by her side as she closed her grimoire on the card and summoned a much larger Persona that looked incredibly angelic. I didn't have time to question the powers she had here...it must have been just how it was for those that worked in the Velvet Room.

"Now is the time to finish this. Megidolaon!" Miyuki shouted out.

Miyuki grabbed me and jumped back pulling me with her as I saw an amazing white light coming down from above us and slamming down hard onto the Shadow. The bright light covered the area...and I felt that I was starting to fade...no...I was waking...I was being pulled back to the real world. Miyuki grabbed my arm and forced me to turn towards her. She placed her hands on both sides of my face and dropping the grimoire. "You have a long life left to live! I expect to hear stories about you and all the children you have with your future wife. You got that? No excuses! It better take you months to tell me everything, in complete detail! Promise me!"

"Don't worry, I promise!" I yelled, as the sound was drowning out our voices. As the world was blanketed in white…I felt something tugging on me and then a soft kiss on my cheek.

"I love you, Onii-chan. Now go and live. And live for her and for yourself...not for me. Show Kujikawa Rise who you really are and love her with everything you are or ever will be. I know it will be hard...but you will be happy," Miyuki voice reached me as I slowly lost all my senses. There never seemed to be enough time...but all I could do now was live.


December 4th, 2011 / After Midnight
Namatame's Room

RISE'S POINT OF VIEW

"Do you know who Ikakure Kayane was, hmm? Did you even look into who the people were that you were 'saving'?" I asked looking down at Namatame with rage filled eyes. "Let me tell you who he was...he was a man, a brilliant talented man, who had been a victim his whole life. Abused and mistreated by his only blood relative, making him incapable of trusting anyone. Because of that it took me...luck...luck to get through to him. Under normal circumstances he would have never met me...would have never opened up to me. I would have never met him. Despite that...we did meet and finally...finally, he was healing. He was getting better...do you understand that!? He was finally living...he was finally seeing me...seeing himself and maybe would have given himself a chance to take a leap of faith...but now he won't. He'll never have that chance. You killed him! You took away his smile, his laughter...his snarky comments, even his seemingly uninterested stare. It wasn't his time to go...it wasn't his time to go to Miyuki. You hear me! HE WAS MINE! MY KAYANE! YOU TOOK HIM AWAY FROM ME!"

I reached down and grabbed the collar of his hospital gown as he tried to squirm away from me. But he had no traction on the cold tile of the hospital floor and I easily dragged him along the ground to the TV.

"Kujikawa!" I heard my friends objecting my actions. I glanced back with an unfeeling glare, I no longer cared who saw me do this. I had made my decision.

"You don't get it! I saw him...I finally got to see the real him!" I yanked up Namatame towards the TV and I ignored his pleas as I struggled trying to lift the weight of a full grown man. I could handle the strain, just a little more...I needed to do this...surely I could muster the strength I needed to kill him. "He had a beautiful soul...I connected with him, truly connected...deeper than I could ever explain. And I never got to tell him. You're going to pay with your life you son of a bitch. You took him away from me!"

Suddenly my wrist was grabbed and I was forced to let him go. Before I could protest I was pulled away, my arms twisted around my back and I was pressed against the wall.

"Who do you think you are?" Yu let out a growl against me.

"I'm going to make sure he pays for what he did...for taking Kayane..." I said as he let go of me. I turned around towards him and was welcomed by a hard slap across my face from Yu. The sting of it was clouded with immediate anger but as I looked up at him, my eyes connected with Yu's, I stopped. He wasn't angry...he was...sad...tears fell from his eyes freely. His frustration clear as day.

"All of you will shut up and listen to me," Yu said firmly and held nothing back. Despite the tears that fell from his face his voice was even and held an authority in it. Despite my determination before, I felt I couldn't defy him. "There is something we're missing."

"Something we don't know? What? And why does that even matter?" I countered as I saw Kanji restricting Namatame and away from me.

"Namatame's true feelings...something about that Midnight Channel we saw bothers me," Yu was trying to regain control of the situation. But we were running out of time.

"Who cares about that? If we don't put him in the TV now then...the police will come back...and..." I needed to do this...needed to make him pay. I tried to move forward but this time it was Chie and Yukiko that grabbed me and held me back. I forcibly broke free from them and stepped towards Yu in a aggressive manner.

"Calm the hell down! Kujikawa! Don't let you anger blind you!" Yu growled at me.

"DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO! You don't know how long I waited for someone like him!" I suddenly yelled back. Something I had never done before. "YOU DON'T GET IT!" I stumbled away from Yu. I shrank back feeling overwhelmed from my own emotions. I couldn't keep my thoughts bottled up anymore. "In that fight where we went to save Nanako-chan and Kayane...he told me! He told me it was him that wrote that review for Star Bright. I never showed that review to you guys...but the words on it are some I would never forget. 'I feel as if the singer truly wants to connect and help me. The emotion in her voice takes me on a journey that makes me want to believe that she could actually help me to be better. That she would go out of her way to come to me and help me reach the stars myself.' Those words, on their own it just sounds like the reviewer got swept up in the song...but it means something completely different knowing who it was coming from. Nanase-san told me it was that song...my first song I had ever submitted that helped him push forward with his music. That even if had been just a little bit, he had started to recover. I had never known him, never knew of the person who had wrote that review. But I cherished those words. I had affected him...and in return he had affected me before we had ever even met. But now...knowing everything that Kayane had been through and that I was able to get through to him with my song, my first song...you don't know what that means to me."

"Kujikawa..." Yu tried again.

"DON'T! Just don't..." I couldn't help it...not for something like this...not with how much he now meant to me. And how my heart was shattering into pieces because these were words I could never say to him. "Call it coincidence or fate...it doesn't matter. I know he's a couple years older than me. I know how much my parents hate him. The way Kayane viewed the world was different than any of us...than anyone I had ever known. He didn't care for what he considered to be trivial things...everything he owns is practical...it has a purpose...except when it comes to music. It was his only passion...his only connection to life. Seeing him play the piano...lost in the music...I don't think there will ever be anyone that looks more attractive to me than him in that moment. I wanted to give him time...wanted to give him time to adjust to me...to get used to being around me. I wanted to get to know him...all about him. I wanted to know his pain...know what his favorite movie, favorite color...you know...everything. I wanted him to be comfortable with me...I just...I thought I had the time...he needed time. I thought I..."

"Rise-san," Yu said my first name making me snap my eyes to him. "You knew him enough that you know he would never want you to become a killer."

"What if it had been Nanako-chan? Would you be so level-headed then?" I found myself getting angry again and snapping at him.

"Hell no, but I definitely know killing this man is not something Nanako-chan would ever want, regardless of what happened," Yu to his credit did not get angry or try to match up to my own emotions, he kept a level voice, and still held a bit of authority to it.

"I...I know that," my anger was slowly being melted away to frustration. I could see Kayane's eyes in my mind...disapproving of my actions, saddened by me. No...no I would never...don't look at me that way...not you, never you. What was I doing? Would killing him do anything? Kayane...would never want me to ruin my life for just a moment of satisfaction. Even if he had craved that satisfaction for himself...he knew that wasn't the way to honor Miyuki. Even if it was hard...and sometimes he had stumbled...he had kept living. And I wasn't alone...that's right...these were all my friends...I collapsed back and into Chie and Yukiko's arms as they pulled me to them. "Kayane...I'm sorry. Kayane...Kayane..." My vision blurred as my anger ebbed and flowed away from me...only to be replaced by sorrow and the horrible feeling of emptiness in my chest...the large part of my heart that had been made for Kayane...was gone. It hurt...hurt so much...

"It's okay, Rise-chan. We're here for you," Chie said softly.

"Yeah, no matter what," Yukiko added.

"I...I..." I couldn't speak anything as tears over came me again as my friends did their best to hold me as I finally gave way and was overwhelmed once more of the reality of the situation. Kayane's face in my mind...I wanted to see him.

"We should all calm down and think rationally about this. I realize now that we've heard almost nothing from Namatame's perspective. There's no denying that this man brought great harm to Ikakure-senpai...But other than that point, the rest comes from our assumptions based on watching the Midnight Channel only a few moment ago. I won't deny that we were blinded by the heat of the moment...trying to impute all responsibility to him rashly," Naoto quickly surmised what had happened. She was right...Yu was right...I hadn't been thinking...I was just angry, I wanted someone to be held responsible...but there was no way to know what the truth really was. Whatever had killed Kayane was unknown...and he had fought with us in that last battle...it wasn't normal...no it was entirely possible that Namatame wasn't responsible for what happened. I...just didn't want to see it. I was angry and I wanted someone to pin the blame on.

"But..." Kanji wasn't sure what to think either.

"Yeah, the guys' not saying anything. Whatever reason he had, there's no doubt about the fact that he'd been throwing people inside the TV. It was him who put Senpai through that misery...How can we possibly understand someone who says killing people is the same as 'saving' them!?" Yosuke shook his head.

"Failing to understand and failing to listen are rather different things," Naoto said more contemplative than anything else. I was regaining my composure again, slowly...thanks to Chie and Yukiko. Naoto paused for a moment before speaking again, "Truthfully, not all hitches that were nagging at me have been answered yet. We'll have to see what he can tell us about them...Though it appears he's in no condition to do so at the moment."

"True...Dealing with him right now might not solve all the things that are bothering us...dammit...but you better remember this: I'll do everything I can to stop him from repeating what he's done. Anytime, anywhere...anything," Yosuke clarified his feelings.

"I feel the same way, Yosuke. But that's also why we can't rush to a conclusion. We need to find out the truth," Yu said calmly.

"Geez...How the hell can you stay so calm, man? Then again, that's why you're our leader..." Yosuke sighed. "Alright. Let's go ahead and think this through as much as we need."

"Yeah, If we leave any unanswered questions behind, we'll just be lying to ourselves...Yeah, that ain't gonna cut it...Alright, I'm convinced," Kanji seemingly feeling better about the situation now.

"We all know how you feel, Yosuke. C'mon, we've accomplished this much together, haven't we? We can't just do this without knowing the whole truth," Chie said from my side...but she had been seemingly so concerned about Yosuke the whole time and...she had been using his first name this whole time. "We should find the truth...for Senpai."

"Right...Together. All of us," Yukiko added.

"Yeah...Together," Yosuke walked towards the door.

"I'm sorry guys...I was so blinded by my anger that I...I didn't care. I just wanted him dead...but I know that isn't what Kayane would want...and I know that it won't solve anything until we know everything about this case," I said loud enough for everyone to hear as Chie and Yukiko helped me to my feet. I took a moment to give a small bow. "Thank you...for everyone being here for me."

"Hey...you guys!? What're you doing!? You can't be in here!" Adachi came into the room.

Naoto handled it smoothly though. "We were simply keeping an eye on the suspect. The police officers outside had their hands full with Tsukio Nanase and Dojima-san. If Namatame were to escape in that time, it would be a disaster for the Police's reputation...and their trust in you, Adachi-san." Naoto spoke in a matter-of-factly tone while we all headed towards the exit.

" O-Oh...I see. We'll tighten security from now on, and I'll arrange for him to be transported out as soon as possible. So...if you guys can keep quiet about being in here, I'd really appreciate it..." Adachi rubbed the back of his head as the Doctor walked in as well.

"How is he, Doctor? He seemed to be extremely agitated a moment ago," Naoto calmly told them.

"He seems fine for now, but he really needs his rest. Outside, everyone. Doctor's orders," the doctor ushered them all out.

Out in the hallway it was Yosuke that spoke first. "We should go too...Let's get back to Ikakure's room." They watched as Adachi made his way down the hall, leaving the Investigation Team alone again. "So what's this thing we're missing, huh?"

"To tell the truth, there's something bothering me too. Why did he start killing in the first place?" Yukiko thought out loud.

"Well he said himself, it was to 'save' them, right? So he killed his lover in order to save her, and kept going?" Chie shook her head as if the words made less sense after she had said them. I had to agree...that seemed twisted...but something about it felt wrong for some reason.

Naoto pulled her hat down to be more snug before speaking, "The police speculated the first murder was related to the affair, so they called in Namatame for questioning...But everything in his testimony and his bearing...No matter where they looked at, they found nothing suspicious. If he truly is twisted enough to believe that murder is a means of saving people, I think that would have shone through..."

"Maybe he faked it real well. Or maybe he started out with a normal motive, and got a taste for killing after the first time..." Yosuke said...and after hearing him say that...it just made me doubt that possibility more. Something was out of place but...what was it?

Naoto shook her head, "No...If that were the case, his motive for killing that announcer would be even more inexplicable. Namatame and his wife were separated at the time. Both Misuzu Hiiragi and himself testified that she had discarded him. Hiiragi also knew about Yamano beforehand, and Namatame was shocked to hear of Yamano's death...Their relationship was known, and was not strained to the point of murder...There's simply no motive in the affair angle. The police invested a great deal of effort into investigating this point. Therefore, we have no convincing motive for Namatame to kill Mayumi Yamano...Although...her name was written in Namatame's own diary..."

"His reason for killing her..." Yosuke began to think harder about this point.

"Is it still possible that he was just crazy to begin with and no one realized?" I asked but it sounded wrong just coming out of my mouth. I was beginning to believe my blame on Namatame was misplaced...it had been too easy to pin it on him. So I needed to look at this differently.

"Uhhh...I don't really get any of this..." Kanji seemed like he was done with the conversation.

"Argh, this is so confusing!" Chie said exasperated by the whole thing at this point.

"Oh, there you are!" A nurse ran up to me specifically. "All of you! Please come with me immediately!"

"Huh? What's going on...?" Chie asked, but the Nurse was already running off.

I didn't wait and I chased off after her.


December 4th, 2011 / After Midnight
Hospital Room

I sprang up in the bed gasping for air. It was like I had forgotten what taking a breath was like...no scratch that...I think it just really wanted oxygen...I had been dead after all. My body was stiff and I felt an immense burning in my lungs as I took in a large breath of air. After a moment it had me coughing like crazy as I couldn't seem to get oxygen to my lungs fast enough. I blinked my eyes open and did so a few more times as my eyes felt incredibly sore. As a matter of fact my whole body felt like it was in a state of shock. Most likely because...it was. I vaguely remember reading about how it could be when you are revived...but it was a lot different experiencing it.

"Oh my God! Doctor! Come quick!" someone said from the doorway. I turned to see a nurse standing there with a hand over her mouth and as if she had seen a ghost. I am just going to assume that it is me. Maybe I technically had been a ghost when I was venturing in my own head. Philemon and Miyuki had more or less told me I had been dead. I couldn't help but wonder for how long…after a certain amount of time there were possibilities of brain damage. Well I certainly hoped that I didn't have any side effects. Of course my reasons for being dead hadn't exactly been normal either. So maybe I didn't have much to worry about. I mean...I was no longer dead...so in general everything beyond this was still better than before.

The doctor came rushing in a few moments later and to my side with wide eyes, he immediately began checking my vitals. "Young man, how do you feel?" Despite how quick the doctor was working his voice was calm. Might as well be honest with him.

"As if a biker gang had just gotten done severely beating me with chains and bats. And then finally ran me over with their motorcycles," I grumbled just loud enough and tried to stretch. Probably hadn't moved my body in some time...so my sudden movements had probably not helped things. And I almost instantly recoiled back as pain hit me from my joints and muscles. "Aw...geesh."

"Careful, let's take this slow. You've been on this bed for a long time. Nurse would you do me a favor and try and track down his friends for me?" the doctor said in a seemingly more soothing tone. But he was also smiling. "Let me get the simple stuff out of the way. Can you tell me your name?"

"Ikakure Kayane," I looked over at the doctor. I understood he was trying to figure out if I had lost any functionality or motor functions. "I was dead, wasn't I doctor?" Might as well act that I didn't know what had happened, although that would not be true.

"Yes, for about ten minutes. It seems you fought back though," the doctor said as he pulled out a pin and held it out. "Follow the tip of the pen with your eyes."

I did as he asked. He had no idea how I had "fought" for my life. What concerned me was the outside factor which had influenced that last Shadow. However, for the moment I focused on the doctor as he put me through some quick motor function tests. I could worry about the details after I got out of here.

"Well as far as I can tell there doesn't seem to be any difference in motor skills. I'm going to hold off on giving you any pain relievers for now. Not until we do some more tests," the doctor quickly explained.

"Pain I can live with," I chuckled which made the doctor smile a bit more at that.

"Living is certainly better than how you were a few moment ago," the doctor seemed to relax a bit. I already knew I could like this guy. I eyed his name tag, Kousaka Ichiro.

"Thank you for your help, Kousaka-sensei," I said with a bow of my head…about the best I could do sitting up.

"You're very welcome, Ikakure. Let's have you rest for the remainder of the night and we can schedule some more tests for tomorrow," Kousaka said as he grinned and moved to a clipboard at the base of my bed. "I will get everything set up in the meantime, you seem to be okay but we'll want to check how you are doing physically." He was interrupted by the door opening once more and the sound of several feet clamoring into the room. "Ah, there they are. Good news, Ikakure has come around!"

"Well that's one way to put it," I groan as I felt a painful muscle on my back spaz on me. I was glad to see them...but their looks on their faces were shocked to say the least. In a good way. I wanted to laugh actually. At the same time...I couldn't help but wonder what they had gone through...I doubt it was time to joke with them...but I was so happy to see them.

"I'll let you visit your friends for now, but I'll be back later to go over your test schedule for tomorrow, alright?" the doctor said to me before I nodded and watched as he walked past my group of friends. All of them seemed to be dumbfounded seeing me sitting up. None of them said anything for a long time.

"Senpai…you're really alive?" Yukiko was the first to speak and took a few steps towards the bed.

"This isn't a joke right? That's really you sitting up in that bed?" Yosuke moved towards the bed only a couple steps.

"Do you really think I would tell a joke like that?" I eyed him. "Mom would kill me for real if I did something like that."

"Oh my God…Senpai…you're…" Chie was in tears…scratching that, pretty much everyone in the room was in tears to varying degrees. This was definitely a delicate situation.

"This is amazing," Kanji looked like he was excited enough to run up and hug me…I wouldn't mind it but…Kanji was a pretty strong guy and it would probably hurt a lot in my present state. Actually I could care less how much it hurt...it was better than feeling nothing at all.

"Miracles do happen…I'm so glad," Naoto said as she cried beside Yukiko and Chie.

"This miracle is starting to wonder if you're all going to just stay in the entranceway," I shook my head. "Come in...I promise I'm real. No one is playing is sick joke on you."

Yu was the one that came to the bedside and he did reach over and hug me, "You were really dead you know. You had us all…" He stopped and stepped back, suddenly Yu was looking away from me. It was obvious, something had happened. Something that the Investigation Team had been a part of. I hardly was going to dismiss it as a coincidence. They had been involved in whatever had almost sealed me to my fate.

Rise approached me and my heart immediately began to beat rapidly. This girl...the girl who held my heart. How much had she been hurt when I had been dead? If anyone would have done something or been easily influenced in that state...it would have been her. As she stepped closer, I saw a crazy collection of emotions in her eyes. Fear, relief, sadness, happiness, and tears rapidly fell down her face. Each step she seemed unsure, as if what she saw in front of her was something she wasn't sure she could believe. She wanted it to be real, and she was terrified of finding out that it wasn't. She reached her hand out to me, it was shaking like crazy. As soon as her hand was withing my reach, I quickly took it and pulled her to me. I continued the motion, not letting her have the time to realize what I was about to do…I took my other hand and grabbed the back of her head and pulled her closer to me, and I pressed my lips against hers. I didn't care for the place or even the company in front of us, if anything I felt that doing this would be a wakeup call not just to Rise but the rest of the Investigation as well. Rise was startled and her eyes opened wide for a moment. I could taste her tears on her lips but after a moment Rise stopped shaking and her arms went around me as she leaned on to the bed to be closer to me and delve into the kiss. It only lasted a few moments but I slowly withdrew from it and rested my forehead against hers and looking into her eyes. Maybe this was too much...but I wanted this connection...wanted to affirm to her that I was here and I was alive. These eyes...the gorgeous...absolutely beautiful brown eyes. It felt like forever since I had last been able to see them.

"Is that enough to show you I'm really here?" I asked, not looking away from her eyes for a moment.

"I love you, Kayane," Rise said repeating her confession for me she had previously done alone. I knew why she said it...because she was still not sure I was really here. She wanted to tell me everything before she lost her chance. That seemed like what she was really thinking to me. "If I had lost you I would have…"

I put my hand over her mouth and stopped her. I smiled at her, "I love you too, Rise." Her eyes widened. I could see that the rest of the Investigation Team was enjoying our exchange too. After all, I had said it loud enough for everyone to hear and to put a brake to Rise's thoughts. She pulled back from me for a moment and took in what I said. I don't think there was any other way to put it. It was the only words that could come close to describe what I felt when I was with her...but sometimes even that wasn't enough. "And I'll have you know that I heard you the first time you know." I added with a wink which had Rise turning a bright red. Sure I may not have been able to respond then but I wanted her to know that I had definitely heard her then.

"Kay-chan! Kay-chan!" Another person came rushing into the room and came straight to my side. Rise slipped away from me and giving my Mom more than enough room to hug me. She kissed my forehead several times before hugging me tightly as she could. "Thank God…I couldn't lose you…not you, Kay-chan. You came back...you really did...thank you...thank you." She quickly was in tears, which I half expected...but I was in tears too as I had to keep brushing them away.

"It's okay Mom. I'm here. And before anything else…I just want to say…I love you, Mom," I said as she held me. "I never said it before but...I don't ever want something to happen and not have you know that."

"I love you too, Kay-chan. I'm so glad you're alive," Mom was definitely happy. "I'm so glad to have you back, son."

"I saw Miyuki," I said softly but everyone in the room paid more attention to me after I said it. "Can you guess what she said to me?"

Mom shook her head.

"She told me to get my ass back here and that I better keep living so I could tell her all about it. But only after I am old and gray," I chuckled which seemed to be contagious enough that everyone else seemed to laugh, especially my Mom. Though between her tears it seemed hard for her to catch her breath. Well I was paraphrasing but I'm sure Miyuki would agree with the way I phrased it.

"That sounds like her. It's a good thing you listened," Mom nodded trying to wipe away her constant flow of tears.

"I had a lot of reasons to come back," I said looking over to Rise. I had a better handle on my own tears finally. It might be better to switch things up a bit. "Now what is this about Rise and I being engaged?"

Rise went completely red again and everyone else gasped at the announcement but I simply smiled. Rise stumbled a bit with the explanation, "That…that was so I could…"

I pulled Rise towards me and hugged her and my Mother at the same time. I looked at the rest of the Investigation Team and grinned, "I get a hug from all of you too, right?"

"What?" Yosuke seemed alarmed.

"I already got one from Yu," I stated. This was the moment I felt something wrong. I looked around the room for a moment which confused everyone for only a couple seconds. "Where's Teddie?"

"That's right…I noticed he wasn't with us when we went to Namatame's room," Yosuke said which had my eyes immediately go back to him and my body tensed up. Whatever had happened...it happened there.

"Namatame's room? What all did you…?" I started but Naoto appeared on the other side of the bed and touched my shoulder.

"I will explain everything later, Senpai," Naoto said with an obvious tone…she wasn't proud of it. This was most likely the same reason Yu had looked away from me before. They were all ashamed of something. Whatever it was...it was probably related to what Miyuki had referenced to...an action that was having a negative influence in that world...but why was it connected to me?

"That's weird…you would figure he would be here…" Chie shook her head and dried the last of her tears. "He had been showing up here just as much as Rise-chan and Yu-kun were."

I could imagine why…Teddie most likely felt responsible in some fashion to the events that had occurred. But there was no reason to be. Even if Teddie didn't understand the place he once called home, it didn't mean he needed to know everything about it. I mean, how long had human's lived on Earth without ever knowing science or the principles of gravity? It had taken humanity several hundreds of years for us to figure that out, and there were still plenty we didn't know. Teddie shouldn't think he should be able to know everything about that world just because he came from it. And there was probably more to it than that.

"Oh yeah, he has his cell with him…" Yosuke pulled out his phone but then stopped. "Wait, I shouldn't use mine in the hospital. I'll try calling him when we get outside."

"Okay, we should all really be going. We'll stop by tomorrow, Senpai," Yu stated and turned to go.

"Hold on," I said stopping him. I wasn't ready to let them go just yet. "Mom, the doctor said he was arranging tests for me tomorrow, could you go make sure he doesn't need you to sign anything?"

My Mom looked at me then the rest of my friends and then nodded, "Don't stress yourself too much, okay?" She then excused herself. I'd have time to spend with Mom later. For now, questions needed to be addressed. However, Rise didn't move from my side, she grasped my hand.

The door slid closed behind her and the rest of the Investigation Team hung their head, not looking at me. So they weren't going to tell me? Were they hoping to hide whatever it was that had happened? I found myself being angry incredibly quickly. "What happened in Namatame's room?" I growled. I knew they would have told me eventually but there was no way I would be able to sleep without knowing the truth. Besides...I wanted to share with them what had happened to me.

"Senpai, it happened after they had pronounced you dead and then we heard that Namatame might get away with it…that even though you had died…he might get to go free and…" Yu answered but kept his eyes squarely on the floor. I didn't have to imagine much more. "Your Mom had figured out that Namatame was in the building...she had disappeared before we noticed."

I blinked, "Mom?"

Yu nodded, "My Uncle Dojima figured it out and head off to stop her, but when we got there we saw your Mother trying to force her way past the police to get to Namatame. In the struggle my Uncle's injuries were re-opened. We managed to calm your Mother down and she went with one of the officers. After a moment we found ourselves alone in the room with Namatame."

Mom...she would have gone that far? Well maybe it made more sense to me than I cared for it to. After all, she and I knew what it was like to have someone taken away from us because of someone else's actions. I'm glad this time she wouldn't have to feel that pain again.

"There was a large television in his room…it was a simple…and idiotic decision. We already knew that if you die in that world…the police cannot link it back to the one who puts them in. The way they die cannot be determined so…" Naoto kept her eyes on the wall. "We entertained an idea with only the thought of vengeance."

I see...something that would be connected to me...would have changed my fate. The Investigation Team killing Namatame for revenge. Rise moved away from me, standing up and I could see the anger in her eyes. I could see it now...the one leading that charge could have only been one person.

"All I could think about was that this man had taken you away from me. That I would never be able to see you ever again. That your future had been taken by that man! I wanted him dead!" Rise yelled from next to me. Whatever entity that had trapped me in that coma was wanting that very thing to happen...the entity had hoped on their moment of weakness to get the better of them...and then...then what? What would that gain? Still the fact that the Investigation Team would go so far because of what happened to me...Rise must had been really hard to reason with.

"Yu stopped it. Despite even his feelings he managed to think rationally and noticed some inconsistencies in the case. Things didn't quite add up," Yukiko supplemented. She was moving it past this subject.

I reached out and took Rise's hand and pulled her back towards me. I wasn't going to let her slip away from me. "It wasn't his power that nearly killed me. And it wasn't that world either. Look, none of you should feel ashamed for feeling that way. Its human nature…what's important is that you didn't do it. It would have been something you all would have regretted eventually. And it isn't something that ever goes away."

They all nodded but I knew they were still ashamed about the fact that they were going to kill someone…and it wouldn't have been because out of some sense of justice. It would have been simply revenge.

"I'm sorry, Senpai. I nearly let your fiancée…"

"Kill someone in revenge for me? I think I know that emotion quite well," I said with a laugh, the laugh seemed to shake them out of their stupor. "Even with the guarantee of never being caught she wouldn't have done it. Look…I am still getting to know all of you, but you are all here and fighting for one real reason. To find the truth. That's why in the end it was a small nagging doubt that stopped you. Why? Because you don't know all the answers yet." Rise went motionless next to me after I had said that. I knew exactly why too. But I'd leave that alone for the moment.

"There are a lot of things to consider," Naoto said. Everyone seemed to relax a bit more after I had said that last bit. "I think this discussion can wait for tomorrow. You need your rest, Senpai."

"No, there is something else we need to talk about," Everyone's attention seemed surprised. "When I died I was taken to a place called the 'Velvet Room'."

"What?" Yu suddenly exclaimed. "You've seen the Velvet Room?"

This made everyone alarmed. I eyed him for a moment, "You've...heard of it?"

"I can use multiple Persona...but the Velvet Room exist as a place where I can refine and create new ones...and there are a couple of Velvet Room residents that help me," Yu was probably being intentionally vague...but I guess it made sense. How else would he be able to have new Persona's so consistently.

"You've never mentioned this before," Yukiko said from next to him.

"Would you have believed me if I told you that the spot I walk to in the TV World is actually a door to the Velvet Room? Or that there is a similar door in the Shopping District? And to all of you I'm only standing there for a moment, but sometimes I spend quite a bit of time in the Velvet Room sorting out my Persona's and creating new ones? Time flows differently in the Velvet Room. Sometimes time in our world will stop...others it will move normally. It's dependent on the needs of the one using the Velvet Room. But the Velvet Room...much like our Persona's...are representations of our soul...and it takes shape for the ones that reside in it...so likely...Senpai's Velvet Room is much different than mine," Yu was giving a lot of information quickly...and revealing just how different is power was. "For example...mine takes the form of a limousine that is driving towards a destination. One that I will apparently arrive at when I find the truth of the murders and how this all started. At least that is my understanding of it."

"Dude...just how weird does this get?" Yosuke shook his head.

Actually it started to make sense to me...this all seemed to be apart of a greater power, "Mine wasn't really a room...It's a playground and a single tree...imaged after a playground I used to go to when I was with my Uncle. It was a place I often escaped to with Miyuki. I guess it made sense that it would be something like that. But I met someone named Philemon." Persona and its power had always seemed otherworldly to me. There was no way it came from nowhere. The Murder Mystery was one thing...but where the power of Persona and Shadows came from was definitely something completely different.

"Philemon? What did he want?" Chie asked.

"He said something had been holding me in that state, the coma...and he had to wait till the moment of my death to be able to pull my consciousness to the Velvet Room. Something had apparently used my own power against me," my words caught everyone's attention.

"Something...an entity of some sort is capable of doing such a thing? And what do you mean your power?" Naoto asked.

"Remember what I used to separate the Shadows? It's called Symphonic Discord," I explained.

"The power that separated the Shadows and...it was...is that what was happening?" Yukiko seemed to figure it out rather quickly, I was impressed.

"Your power hits the Shadow...but doesn't damage it...instead it resonates and then essentially makes it acknowledge that they are not one Shadow...but several Shadows attempting to merge into one unified being," Rise explained, but her voice was flat and listless. Her thoughts were not on the current conversation. The others were alarmed but I pulled Rise to me and pressed the conversation forward.

"Yeah, its just like what you are thinking. My soul was being separated from my body...essentially. But it took a long time to happen...though I'm not sure how long I was under. Philemon also introduced his assistant that would be helping me...Miyuki," I said knowing the odd reactions I would get. The one most alarmed by this was Rise. "I have to say...it's really weird seeing her...she's basically what she would look like if she was the age she was supposed to be...which would be about 20 years old." Rise went still against me, but she said nothing.

"That's...odd," Kanji probably put into words what everyone was thinking.

"Persona's and Shadow's are pretty weird...along with entering a TV to enter a different world," I pointed out.

"Nothing in the Velvet Room happens by coincidence," Yu said simply. "That Velvet Room is directly connected to you...it makes sense in a way that this Philemon would bring her to assist you...though I'm not sure exactly how everything of the Velvet Room works...as yours sounds much different than my own experiences."

"Miyuki explained that there were two Shadows buried within the recesses of my mind...and we needed to defeat them to break their hold over me and allow me to head back to the world of the living. Philemon said he could do nothing but provide the means but I would have to clear it myself. Along with Miyuki's help," I sighed thinking about what we faced. "We cleared both of them...but I realized something...the fights themselves were easy but their implications are the real threat. I realized that us facing our other selves and the constant struggles will forever be with us. Our power is a double edge sword...just as we use it for support...it can be turned against us. If our resolve wavers or something changes...we can all easily become the villain of the story."

"Hmm...I never considered it...but now that you mention...most of our powers have changed since we started," Yukiko thought about it for a moment.

I nodded, "It makes sense...we change and over time our resolve can strengthen or weaken based on the events we face in our lives. I got a feeling that even though I had the resolve to defeat those Shadows now...I felt like it was taunting me...that it would be back for me."

"This could be related to the incident of those Shadows that took Ikakure-senpai and Kujikawa when we first took him to the TV world," Naoto speculated.

"Yes...but I don't think what happened here has anything to do with the case," I looked over to Yu. "Let's focus on one thing at a time. I just wanted to tell all of you what had happened."

"Then...we'll start fresh tomorrow. You need your rest. I think we all do. We can go over the details of everything starting tomorrow," Yu said with an obvious exhausted sigh.

"Yeah, you're right. See you all tomorrow then?" I smiled. They nodded and we all exchanged goodbyes before they all left one by one until it was just Rise and I. She had stayed quiet for a while now.

"They didn't tell you everything. When we went to stop Nanase-san...it was because I didn't want her to do it. I wanted to be the one to end his life. I would have killed him. I was trying to pull him up to the TV when Yu-Senpai had to physically pull me back. I yelled at them...told them they didn't understand...that they didn't know how I felt...and I was going to kill the son of a bitch that took you away from me." Rise wasn't looking at me...instead she was simply at my side and looking down at the bed. If it had been Rise in this bed and nearly dead...I would have done the same but I hadn't realized I had that big of an effect on her up to this point. I was done waiting to find out this stuff anymore.

"I know," I said with a shrug. "It's kinda cute how possessive you are of me though."

"Kayane...but you said…" Rise said somewhat surprised. Of course I had said something different to the others. That Rise wouldn't have done it...but I doubt anyone believed it.

"The fact remains, you didn't kill him," I said simply forcing her to look into my eyes by guiding her chin up towards me. "I wanted to kill my Uncle and Miyuki's Father so much that the police had to drag me away out of a courtroom when I tried to do just that. At the time, I didn't care about the consequences. I could have killed him in a room full of government officials and I didn't care because that is what I wanted to do. But, there was never a chance for me to actually get to him. I could have attacked him before then…but I didn't. Yet in a room full of guards, attorneys and a jury I did. And I think I know why. Even though I know I couldn't achieve it…I did achieve something else. I was able to release all those pent up emotions of hatred in just a few moments in a useless attempt to try and get to that man."

"So you're saying I did it because…I knew I would be stopped?" Rise looked at me with a questioning look and definitely not convinced.

"On some level, I'm sure that is the truth. After all would you have been able to overpower him if you were there on your own?" I asked.

"Well…no," Rise admitted. "He was heavy...I only got him to the TV because he was easy to drag on the tile floor." That told me more about it than I had imagined.

"You're mind already knew it was impossible for you to do to begin with. But just because it does…doesn't make that desire any less real. And it's still there inside you now…right?" I asked her…to which she subtly nodded. If she truly only cared about killing him, there were other ways she could have done so. She could have choked him, stabbed him or any amount of other ways to carry it out. But she specifically chose to throw him in a TV. Even if it was subconsciously...she had chosen the method in which her friends would have ample time to stop her. Or help her. Right now, I needed a means to ease her mind off of what she almost did...most likely the realization of it was coming to her. So...rather impulsively, I pulled her back into another kiss and surprised her once again. "There all gone."

"Huh?" she blinked putting her hand to her lips as she looked back at me.

"I've taken away all those murderous thoughts. And I'm not giving them back," I said grinning at her.

It only took a minute before I saw that amazing smile come to her lips, "Oh I see, you think you can handle it all by yourself huh?" Rise then quickly kissed me back. "I can take them back to."

"How about we split it 50-50?" I responded as I kissed her back.

"As long as you're with me," Rise breathed before kissing me once more this time much longer. I could feel it...a hunger...a desire for this connection...a reaffirmation that I was really alive. After a moment she pulled back and put her forehead to mind as her voice dropped to a whisper. "You're here...you're really here."

"So want to be my fiancée for real?" I asked her. For now I could move the conversation to something else I wanted to address. There was a lot to cover...and I still hadn't really asked how long I had been on this bed...I kinda didn't want to know that part to be honest.

She paused for a moment, "I meant what I said…if you came back to me…I would marry you. And I will marry you, Kayane," Rise whispered into my ear before claiming my lips again. As much as I enjoyed this moment...as much as I was glad to be alive...the reality was that things would change...there were problems we had yet to face...and decisions that had to be made. And this was one that could never be taken lightly...regardless of how we both felt at this very instant. So for now it was best to put on the brakes and ease up. I broke the kiss from her once more. Besides...there was a lot I wanted to experience with her leading up to that point. If we did indeed manage to get there.

"Let's do this the right way, Rise. So I'll start," I said and took in a dramatic deep breath. And then spoke in one breath, "Rise, I love you. Please go out with me!"

She giggled, which made me smile, "No you're supposed to ask me to marry you."

"I will, but not here. Not like this, and not today. Let's start this from the beginning okay? There is no rush...so lets enjoy the journey of getting to that point, okay?" I said and kissed her cheek lightly.

"Okay, well from today on…please take care of me, Kayane," Rise said slightly blushed.

"As long as you take care of me too," I said as I kissed her once more. I kissed her more deeply than before and Rise welcomed it. As we did I could feel tears falling into our kiss…not only hers…but mine as well. I had been dead…and with the help of Miyuki and Philemon I had been given a chance to make it back to the living. I wasn't going to waste this opportunity. I would no longer hesitate. I would live without fear and I would not waste the life I had been given. To do that...I wanted to experience all of it...dating, meeting her parents, and all the problems from here to there. Maybe our lives were different because of Persona but...that was okay. It would work out. It was not going to be easy...life never had been. So I suspected that love would be no different. But I would give love a chance. And I would face off against anything that threatened to get in the way.


A/N:

I have experienced loss several times in my life, and in several ways. I come from a military family. Every generation, except my own has been a part of war and different military branches. That is just the way my family had always been. At some point I was sure I was expected to go into the military as well. But my own experiences in my life have prevented me from wanting that, or subjecting anyone else to that same kind of life style.

That isn't to say that my life then wasn't completely horrible or anything. But I learned more about the reality of life than any child should have to...in ways that I would never wish anyone to experience it. So writing the last couple chapters have been hard, in a way that is hard to explain. I'm actually a type of person that finds it impossible to talk about my past or the things I experienced as a child. Many people would want that attention, or want to be listened to...in order to move past it. But that sort of therapy never helped me. Honestly what helps me the most is writing.

As an author, we write about people. People that are often in situations we could never find ourselves in, but for me...many of the situations I place my characters in are often ones that I myself had experienced or witnessed in one form of another. The situations that any one of us could find ourselves in...that is what I feel I am responsible on showing. The topics I often write I find difficult for myself, and often times I have to stop mid-chapter because I'm suddenly uncomfortable or frustrated. Often times because I feel so horrible for putting the characters through those events. However...I also know because of my viewpoints and experiences...I feel responsible for keeping it as realistic as possible.

Also all the members of the Investigation Team are in a transition time in their life. Preparing for the future but fighting to maintain what they have at the moment. Moving forward is hard...especially since there is no way to know how it will work out. Often times as teenagers we have a core group of friends, and no one wants to accept the fact that years later many of them will be gone. We want to believe that going forward that they will always be there, but the harshness of reality is that often times as years go by you'll find you only keep in touch with one or two of those friends. Not to say it isn't possible to keep hold of all your friends, but that is sadly, exceptionally rare. Life moves us in different directions, and it is up to us on if we go with the tide or struggle against it.

As the main plot of Persona 4 kicks into gear...I've still got a lot of story tell beyond it. Arena, Ultimax, And Dancing All Night. At the end of it all, even I wonder how well Kayane will be able to fight against the tide as life tries to work against him. It's a journey that is equally hard for me as I write it, as I wish I could just give an ending with a cute little bow and then be satisfied. But I would not be satisfied with that kind of end. I want to see them fight, and struggle and be able to persevere against all the trials and tribulations that Kayane and Rise will face. When they come out at the end, they won't be the same. After all...no one goes through the struggles of life and comes out the same as when they started. It's the struggle that defines us, and within those moments is where we find our true desires and dreams.

I hope you've enjoyed everything up to this point. And I also hope you continue to read this story. I'll see you all next week with the next chapter.