Chapter 4—Realizations
"Did you just say what I think you did?" Lucas asked.
Lucas was a little surprised at John's reason for being here. A cattle ranch was something two young men dreamed of in another lifetime. He hadn't thought about that in years.
"I know you weren't expecting me to say that, but please, hear me out, cuz," John said.
"Please, go ahead," Lucas replied as he leaned back in his chair, very curious about John's plans.
"Well, you know I sold the Circle D horse ranch when my parents died." Lucas nodded in agreement. "What you probably don't know is that in the last 5 years I have never touched the funds that I received for it. That money has been sitting in the bank, along with what I earned from a few other business ventures I've dabbled in. It's quite a sum.
"When Mom and Pop died, all I wanted to do was get away from there. I couldn't stand the thought of running that place on my own. Too many memories. As a result, I sold it and ran away. My sorrow was a heavy burden, so I stayed busy and worked through my grief. A few months ago, I realized I missed ranching. And I remembered how much you loved the ranch when you were young. That's when I formulated this plan. Of course, I didn't know whether you had married or not. It took me a while to track you down, but Lucas, I think we could make a go of this.
"What do you think?" John finished speaking and took a drink of his beer, waiting for Lucas to respond. Lucas mulled over all that John had said before he answered.
"There's a lot you don't know about, John," Lucas replied.
Lucas told John about Jeanette and all that had happened to her, and his reason for coming to a small out of the way town. He spoke about the saloon, and then he told him what happened with the petroleum company and how he had just purchased it a couple of days ago. John sat in silence, giving Lucas the same attention that Lucas had given him a bit ago.
Lucas ended with "So, you see, John. I am quite settled and happy here."
John sat quietly for a moment, just taking it all in, then he leaned back and crossed his arms. "You are so settled here that you are in love with a married woman?" John questioned, noticing the shocked look on his cousin's face.
When Lucas got over the accusation, he laughed. "Would you like to explain what exactly you are talking about?" he asked John.
"Lucas, I know you better than anyone. I saw the looks between you and Mrs. Thornton this morning. You are in love with her. And I don't know her, but she possibly returns those feelings. What are you thinking, cuz?"
Lucas sighed with relief. "Oh, you are talking about Elizabeth. I really thought that bump on your head had rattled your brain for a minute. Elizabeth is a widow. Her husband was a Mountie that was killed in action before Jack was born."
"And you are in love with her," John said again.
Lucas smiled, his eyes shining as he thought of Elizabeth, "Yes. I love her. More than I have ever loved anyone." Lucas had never said the words out loud and he had to admit he liked the way they sounded.
John reflected on what Lucas said before speaking. "I know you Lucas. If you believe her the soulmate you have searched for all your life, you would already be courting her. So, my next question would have to be, have you told her you love her? Does she know how you feel?"
"It's not that simple…" Lucas began. He talked about the relationship he had been building with Elizabeth. How he didn't want to rush her. About her book deal and the library. And their perfect dinners they had together. He then told John about Nathan. Everything all the way up to the hug.
"I have shown her in so many ways how I feel. I don't want to push her. My father taught me patience. You know my parent's story."
"Well now I understand why the constable snubbed you this morning. What about this hug? Tell me about that," John inquired.
"Not much else to tell. Elizabeth and I had a wonderful time the night before. I heard a commotion in the street, and came outside to see her run and hug Nathan. It was another Mountie that was shot and killed. Apparently, she thought it was Nathan before he walked up."
"And now you think she loves Nathan. Because she hugged him."
"John, it was in the middle of the street. Half the town saw it happen. She must have feelings for him."
"Perhaps she was in shock and just relieved he was alive. You said they are friends."
"Of course, that is possible. I don't know how Nathan feels about her, but I know I love her, John. Seeing her embrace another man was…difficult."
"I'm sure it was. Don't lose hope, cuz. You don't know what she was thinking at the time."
Gustave brought them some dessert and they were both silent as they enjoyed it with a cup of coffee.
"Your Gustave is quite the chef. My compliments. Lucas, I owe you an apology. I should have found out about your personal life before asking you to move away from here. Forgive me. I can tell your heart is here. With Elizabeth. And if I can help with that, just let me know."
Lucas smiled at his cousin, "No need to apologize. Thank you. I don't know what to do at this point, other than give her some space. If it is meant to be, it will be. John, are you totally sold on moving to Montana? Because there is some beautiful land just north of town that is for sale. Several thousand acres. You might want to take a look at it."
John tilted his head to the side, leaned forward, and replied, "Really. Tell me more."
###
Fiona sat with her head in her hands the next morning, struggling with her emotions. I have to get myself together she thought, tears filling her eyes. She sat at the desk in her hotel room, struggling to keep her composure. She looked down at the letter again, and then cleared her throat.
"Enough, Fiona," she said out loud. "You shouldn't worry about things you can't control."
She finished her toilette and stood. Glancing at the letter once more, she grabbed her bag and walked out the door.
###
Elizabeth was up bright and early, waiting on Laura to come. Her plan was to work in the mornings this week and then come home around lunchtime to spend the rest of the day with Jack. She had many ideas for her book that she was anxious to get typed up when she got to the library. When the knock came, she welcomed Laura in and hugged Jack good-bye before walking out the door.
It was cloudy and cooler today, the weather was starting to change. Elizabeth was glad she wore her wrap against the chilly breeze.
She opened the library door, and stopped in the entrance to look around. She could never enter this place without thinking of Lucas. How he had brought her here to surprise her with the key. She remembered the day they were building the shelves and how Lucas had some problems with the hammer. But he never complained, even when he hurt himself. Elizabeth smiled at the memory. Then the time he quoted a passage from Dangerous Liaisons to her. She never admitted to anyone how drawn to him she was that night in the library. But physical attraction wasn't love. There was another time she came in with books, and as she walked up to him, she was totally captivated. It was the closest she had ever been to him, and she took full advantage as she stared- at his beautiful eyes, his handsome face, his mouth. He seemed shy as he made eye contact, then nervously smiled and looked away. She couldn't help but be smitten in that moment. Again, physical attraction is not love. She embarrassed herself as she backed away, unable to find the door, flustered by his masculinity in that intimate moment. The perfect trip to Union City. Their conversation was all about love and how patient his father was while waiting for his mother. Lucas spoke of his soulmate. Did he think that was her? He certainly implied that it was. Then, their dinner only a few nights ago. Lucas had planned it well. It was a wonderful night. No one other than Jack had put so much thought into her happiness. The library, then her writing. It was obvious he cared about her.
Elizabeth came in and closed the door. She walked over and set her things on the desk, just letting her mind wander. As she looked around, her eyes landed on the plaque that Nathan had made for her. She had been a good friend to Nathan. He had needed some help with Allie when he first arrived, and that had drawn them together. She had stood by him when he was struggling with his father's situation. Nathan was a handsome man with his blue eyes and crooked smile, who wouldn't be attracted to him? He had told her she mattered to him. He had finally asked her to dinner, isn't that what she had wanted? If so, why did she hesitate? Elizabeth had been in shock when she thought he was dead, and so relieved to see he was alive and well. Apparently so relieved that she hugged him in the middle of the street in broad daylight. Did that mean she had made her decision between the two of them? Did that mean she was falling for him? Maybe he was the one Henry was talking about, not Lucas.
"I'm not going to get any writing done this way," she said to herself as she put a piece of paper in the typewriter and began a new chapter. "Maybe working on my book will help me to settle my thoughts."
###
Nathan put down the phone and turned to Bill. "Good news. Those two robbers were caught this morning. It seems they went into the bank in Benson Hills and tried to withdraw some money using Mr. Davis' identification. The banker had met Mr. Davis just the day before he was attacked when he opened up an account. So, he knew something was wrong when they showed up, one claiming to be him. The banker stalled them and contacted the sheriff who came and made the arrest."
"Well, that's great news. Sounds like Jonathan will have to go identify them as the men that ambushed him," Bill replied.
Nathan grabbed his hat, "I'm going to go find him now and let him know."
Nathan was standing outside on the walkway, just about to make his way to the hotel when he saw Fiona coming his way. She seemed very preoccupied and was looking down instead of where she was going. She was almost to him when he put his hands out to stop them from colliding. "Fiona," he said, taking her upper arms to steady her. When she looked up at him, he could tell something was wrong, she wasn't her normal happy self.
"Oh, I'm sorry Nathan," she said, plastering a smile on her face as she made eye contact. "I guess I am in a world of my own today."
"Fiona, is everything alright?" Nathan asked, still holding on to her arms.
"Yes, yes, everything is fine. I just have a lot on my mind," Fiona responded a little too quickly. Nathan could tell she was lying but realized he would get nothing else out of her. He then noticed he still held her arms and hurriedly released them.
"You have a lot of friends here, Fiona, including me. If I can ever do anything to help, please let me know," Nathan said, concern in his voice.
"Thank you, I appreciate that. I need to go, I'll talk to you later," Fiona said as she nodded and swiftly walked away.
But not before Nathan saw the tears in her eyes.
###
John was buttoning up his shirt after Carson finished examining him. "Well, doc. Will I live?" he said with a smile.
Carson smiled back, "I think you will be just fine, Mr. Davis. Sorry I didn't come by yesterday. I had a very stubborn baby south of town that didn't want to be born."
"Please, call me John. And that's alright, I am feeling quite well."
"Ok, John it is. You will be sore for a while. Ribs sometimes take weeks to heal up. Any headaches?"
"Actually no. I've always said the Lord blessed me in the health department. I'm never down for long.
Carson nodded, "That's good to hear. Just be cautious and don't overdo. Those ribs will let you know when you've done that. No heavy lifting for at least a month. Other than that, you seem to be in good shape. I'm glad it wasn't worse."
"Me too," John said as he tucked in his shirt. "Thank you for your good care. I appreciate it."
"No problem. That's my job," Carson said as they shook hands.
###
Fiona caught her breath and put a smile on her face. No matter what was written in that letter, she had to get a job. She tapped on the open door of the petroleum company, getting Lucas' attention.
"Come in Fiona," he said as he looked up, then stood. "What can I do for you?"
"I won't waste much of your time, Lucas. The truth is, I need a job. I know you are spending more time here, learning your new business. I was hoping you could use some help over at the saloon. I assure you I can sling beer as well as a man. Or I can help in the kitchen, but I will admit it isn't my preference. Living at the hotel is an advantage also, because I am close. So, what do you think?"
Lucas smiled, thinking perhaps Fiona was an answer to prayer. Albert was helping in the evening and on the weekend, but he really needed someone there in the daytime during the week. Looks like she just walked in the door.
"Fiona, I think you are exactly what I am looking for. You are hired. Can you start tomorrow?"
Fiona looked a little surprised, then smiled. "Yes. I certainly can. Thank you, Lucas. You won't be sorry." She shook his hand then turned to leave.
"Oh, Fiona. Can you start tonight instead? Just for a couple of hours. I forgot there won't be anyone to train you tomorrow."
"I absolutely can. See you later. Thanks again," Fiona said with a smile then walked out the door with a troubled look on her face. She took care of one problem, but she had no answer for the other one looming over her head.
###
Elizabeth rolled her shoulders. She reached up and massaged them a little bit. Looking at the clock she realized she had been typing for well over two hours with no break. The ideas were flowing and she hated to stop, but her sore shoulders told her she should rest for just a minute.
She stood up and walked out the door of the library breathing in the damp air. She watched the people walking up and down the street. Hope Valley was a growing town. She was happy about it and a little nostalgic as well for the small town she came to 7 years ago.
"Why the sad face?" Bill said as he walked up.
"Not sad, just a little sentimental at how much our little town has grown since I've been here," Elizabeth said with a smile.
"Can I come in and talk to you for a while?" Bill asked.
"Of course," Elizabeth said walking back into the library, Bill right behind her.
Elizabeth seated herself at the desk and Bill remained standing.
"How's the writing coming along?" Bill questioned, walking around and running his hand along the spines of the books.
Elizabeth laughed at his lack of subtlety, "Bill, I'm pretty sure you didn't come in here to talk to me about my novel."
"I'm that obvious, huh?"
"Yes," Elizabeth replied. "I assume you want to talk about what happened a few days ago in the street, am I correct?"
Bill walked over and sat across from Elizabeth. "I'm worried about you, that's all."
Elizabeth nodded with a somber look on her face. "I'm confused, Bill. And I shouldn't be. Henry said I am falling in love with one of them. If that's true I should know that. I knew with Jack. So, I really don't understand what is going on with me."
"Forget about what Henry said. Perhaps we should talk it through a bit. I can use some of my training and question you. Maybe that will help," Bill offered.
Elizabeth laughed, "You make me feel like a criminal, and it sounds kind of silly. But, at this point, I'm all for trying it."
"I know you are confused, so let's break it down. You care for both men, that is obvious. So, let's talk it out. Tell me what your thoughts are about each of them. Start with Nathan."
Elizabeth looked at the ground for a moment, "Nathan told me that I matter to him. He has needed me on several occasions regarding Allie and his dad. He's a single father of a young girl- that can't be easy. He's a Mountie. He has high standards. He's a good man that would be a good father to Little Jack. And I care about him."
"And Lucas? What thoughts do you have about him?"
Elizabeth smiled. "Lucas helped build the library, one of my dreams. If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't have a book deal, another dream of mine. He is thoughtful, and kind. Handsome. So selfless, always puts himself last and never thinks twice about it. Lucas has done so much for me. Sometimes it is like he reads my mind. I love spending time with him. We…connect. Lucas makes me happy. He's a wonderful man."
"You had dinner with Lucas the other night, how did that go?"
Elizabeth smiled as her thoughts went to last Thursday night. It was literally flawless. "Lucas and I celebrated my book deal. And…I…wanted it to be a date. I was sorry to see it end. It was…romantic. Perfect."
Bill watched her face as she spoke. "Then the next morning. The morning of the shooting. Tell me your point of view."
"I can't see that any of this is helping me, Bill," Elizabeth said, starting to get annoyed.
"Humor me," Bill replied.
"The hug? I don't know what else I can say that I haven't already said over and over. I have gone through this so many times, Bill," Elizabeth said, standing and beginning to pace in frustration. "I thought he was dead. My heart was racing. I couldn't think straight."
"Elizabeth, what do you actually remember thinking? When you were in the street?"
"Bill, this is pointless," Elizabeth raised her voice as she paced. "I was standing there, by the prisoner wagon. Carson stepped out and said, 'He's gone.' I panicked. I was frozen in my steps. Then I turned around and saw Jack coming towards me and I ran to hug him."
Bill sat there, silently waiting as he watched Elizabeth's face. He knew the moment realization took place by the widening of her eyes. Her mouth dropped open as she sat back down. Then the tears came.
Bill nodded. "I'll be honest, Elizabeth, I suspected you were thinking of Jack. Maybe not even consciously. I have also wondered why you have been confused since you hugged Nathan. If you were having romantic feelings for him, that should have solidified them, not brought more uncertainty. I thought perhaps if I forced you to speak without thinking too hard about what to say, it might bring out your true feelings. Looks like it worked."
Elizabeth sat there in shock, speechless for a moment. "Bill," she finally said, "It all makes sense. How could I have been so blind?"
Bill reached over and squeezed her hand. "I'm sorry I upset you, Elizabeth. But I'm glad you realize the truth. You lost your husband shortly after you married him. He was a Mountie, and a good one. Is it no wonder that you would be attracted to the red serge again as a connection to Jack? That you wanted to be drawn to Nathan? A relationship with him would be more comfortable to you- at least it would seem that way. But you shouldn't choose him because he is a Mountie, but because you love him. A relationship with Lucas is something different, something unknown. Maybe a little scary. Elizabeth, no one will ever be Jack. Maybe it's time for you to start over, but you should go with your heart, not your head.
"I watched your face when you were talking about both men. It's pretty clear to me who you have feelings for. One of those men needs you and you like to be needed. I don't know how far his feelings go beyond that. The other obviously loves you. Puts you first in everything he does. Makes your dreams come true. Now, I have known you for quite a few years and there was only one other man that placed that twinkle in your eyes that I saw when you talked about Lucas. Jack is gone but who says someone can't have two great loves in their life?"
"Bill, you opened my eyes. Yes, I have sought out Nathan, time and time again. I wanted to run from what I was feeling for Lucas. My attraction to him…it scares me. I couldn't even admit it out loud, only recently to myself. I kept telling myself that being drawn to him didn't mean I had feelings for him. But it's not just his appearance I am attracted to. It's his mind. And his heart," Elizabeth paused for a moment. "Lucas was hurt, Bill. He saw me hug Nathan. Can he get past that?"
Bill smiled and patted Elizabeth's hand. "Elizabeth, that man is in love with you. A hug isn't going to change that."
Elizabeth thought for a moment, then spoke. "I'm afraid, Bill. I don't know how to move forward and leave Jack behind."
Bill smiled, "I would be concerned if you weren't a little bit afraid. Perhaps you should follow Emerson's advice on your plaque up there. And Jack will always be a part of your heart. You could never leave him behind. Think of it as starting a new book. A sequel."
Elizabeth laughed at the terminology. "Bill, you should have been a philosopher. Or a therapist. You have helped me to see things so much better. I can never thank you enough. I am concerned about Nathan though. I don't want to hurt him."
"Nathan is tougher than you think. He's a Mountie, remember?"
###
Lucas had put in a long day. He worked with Mike at the petroleum company, absorbing as much as he could. He was glad he had Mike in the office and Albert in the field, he was learning a lot from both of them.
He had just come back to the saloon when he saw John walking up.
"Hey John, you look like you've been sightseeing," Lucas said.
"I was just looking around your little town. I like it. Actually, I wanted to talk to you. I spoke to Constable Grant today. They caught those robbers that took my horse. I need to go to Benson Hills tomorrow and identify them. I know you are terribly busy, but I wondered if you might like to go with me."
"As a matter of fact, I would. As much as I am learning about the oil business, I think I need to hire a consultant. There is a good one in Benson Hills. So, your timing is perfect," Lucas replied.
"Great! I am hoping to get my horse back. He is one of a kind. I might be there a few days, I don't know how much time you have to spare," John offered.
"A few days works for me. I hired Fiona to help at the saloon, and Albert just started also. Mike can take care of things at the petroleum office while I am gone. He knows more than I do anyway," Lucas responded.
"Sounds like a good time. Two single men, living wild and free," John chuckled as he spoke.
Lucas laughed along with him, "You never change do you cousin?"
"And I probably never will. Come on, let's get some dinner," John said, putting his hand on Lucas' shoulder as they went to sit down.
###
Elizabeth was up early the next morning. She had slept well for the first time in several days, now that she was thinking straight. She would have to find Lucas and Nathan and talk to both of them soon. She was excited to see Lucas now that she realized the truth.
While waiting for Laura to show up, Elizabeth heard a knock on the door. Opening it, she found Rosemary standing there.
"Hello Rosemary. Come on in. I was just cleaning up the breakfast dishes."
Rosemary walked in, looking a little nervous and followed Elizabeth into the kitchen.
"You look very chipper today, Elizabeth. I have to say I am surprised."
"Well I have a lot to be happy about today. I can't wait to tell you all about it. Right now, I have to get finished before Laura shows up."
Rosemary stood there in silence for a moment then spoke, "Then I guess you haven't heard the news."
Elizabeth stopped what she was doing, suddenly concerned. "What news, Rosemary?"
Rosemary hesitated, then spoke, "Lucas is going to leave Hope Valley and move to Montana with his cousin."
