Lock and Key

Chapter 1: Who owns the Fella? 16th December 1995

It was a bizarre set of circumstances that led to it just being the two of them doing Christmas shopping that Saturday. Originally, the group of five would have been going along with Erin's parents, Sarah and Joe… a proper outing ahead of the holidays. It would culminate in them sleeping over at the Quinn household that night too. Fate had other ideas though.

It all started on the Friday evening. Michelle and James had been home from school for about an hour, the Englishman going straight to his room, completing his homework. Over the next couple of hours, intermittent coughing could be heard from his cousin's room and by the time he'd finished cooking dinner for the two of them, it was clear that she wasn't at her best. When she arrived downstairs, to say she looked like hell would have been an understatement. Her usually well coloured cheeks were paler than he'd ever seen them, even more so than on the old Halloween pictures in the living room, when she'd dressed up as a ghost. He made sure to keep his distance as they ate, sitting at the other end of the dinner table in an attempt to keep away.

The confirmation of her being far from best came for him throughout the meal, where she didn't swear at him once. In truth, she'd barely spoken to him at all. She headed off up to bed straight afterwards. A Friday night where Michelle was in bed before nine o'clock. It was unheard of. When Deirdre and Martin returned home from their respective shifts just before midnight, he was there to greet them, staying up to inform them of her condition. When her mother went to check on her shortly after, Michelle's temperature was through the roof. That would take her out of the shopping trip that Saturday. Unfortunate, but wise for both her health and theirs.

Before Friday was finished however, Clare was out of the trip too. Geraldine and Sean were out at his parents' house in order to check in on Clare's grandma, who'd suffered a fall the week before. They'd left Clare to look after herself plenty of times in the past, trusting her a lot more to look after herself and the house when she was away from the four troublesome others that she called friends. Except that trust proved to be misplaced. The Devlin kitchen was on fire when they returned home, the fire brigade joining them on the driveway as Clare panicked in front of them. Her explanations fell on deaf ears. She would be grounded until school on Monday, side-lining her too. Annoying to say the least…

Saturday morning saw the shopping roster whittled down even further. Gerry's brother Daniel, who he hadn't heard from since the prior Christmas, rang to say that he was going to come over to see him in a couple of hours. Erin particularly enjoyed seeing him, as unlike her da, he was a strong and amusing character. A proper man, not as humbled by women as his younger brother. Mary decided she would stay behind with Anna too, always enjoying the company of her husband's far more entertaining sibling when he'd visit. Erin protested the decision, not wanting to be embarrassed by Orla and Sarah in front of James without anyone else to share the burden with. It didn't sway Mary, yet fate decided to intervene once again, this time to her benefit. Something which she was explaining to James.

"So… John Hume just… phoned for Orla?"

"I'm honest!" She giggled, swatting at his arm as they walked into the shopping centre.

It sounded completely far-fetched, yet it was verbatim. John Hume really had phoned for Orla that morning. When they'd found out she'd sent his office a drawing on the theme of peace, the gang prepared for the endless barrage of her going on about it and then the embarrassment when the drawing would likely be shown on the news. She was a teenager who was, from Erin's best guesses, sending drawings of unicorns and rainbows to one of the most influential men in the process to obtain peace. Of course he'd liked it. Of course he would invite her to his offices to see him with the rest of the family.

"Granda was keen to see him too…". Erin explained. "… he… had a few ideas that he wanted to put across".

"I bet he did…". James jested.

"Oi!". She reprimanded him. "Granda's a very honourable man ye know".

"I'm not arguing with you there". He held up his hands in surrender. "He terrifies the life out of me if I'm honest".

"Ach well, you'll have to get used to putting up with his ideas James".

"Wh-.. What do you mean?"

James drew a blank as he tried to understand what Erin was on about. He was already used to the occasional comment from Joe about his sexuality, as well as Joe's ideas on the world and in particular Gerry. It wasn't as if he'd be spending any more time than normal around Joe other than staying at the Quinn house that night.

"Err… well… ye… ye know, now that ye stayin' and we'll have lots of revision to do with the exams!"

He couldn't quite get his head around why her response to his question came out nervously, beginning with stammering and then ending faster than a fighter jet, at almost a shout. Erin's cheeks were flushed pink too. It was all rather odd… though the whole events on the run up to their shopping expedition were no different, so he quickly put it to the back of his mind.

Erin desperately hoped her face wasn't burning as brightly on the outside as it was on the inside. In the couple of weeks since that day, she couldn't stop the strange feelings bubbling within her when it came to the wee English fella. She was ever so close to breaking apart in front of the President of the United States of America because the next morning she would have woken up and James wouldn't have been in her life. The thought of a life without him in it made her wretch. Writing the letter and subsequently leaving it in her diary appeared to be a good idea at the time, but as the days went by, she couldn't stop thinking about it. She still didn't think showing him would be a good idea, but if anything, it made her feelings towards him increase. Knowing that a true introspection into her heart's yearnings lay a few feet away from her every night only entertained those errant feelings.

"Err… James". She decided to speak in order to shut off her ever-wandering mind. "I… I need to go to Primark first. Ye know, before we start lookin' for gifts".

"No problem". He smiled. "What for, might I ask?"

She really hoped he wouldn't have… but he had, so it was his fault. Absolutely his fault.

"I… erm…". She stammered again, blushing away. "… with daddy not being here... I… I wanted to look for some knickers".

James just about stifled the chuckle that immediately presented itself to him. He'd become accustomed to the odd belief that Gerry would bristle at the mention of women's underwear or anything remotely sexual. Quite why it had become a joke was alien to him, though he suspected Joe was most likely the root cause. Luckily for James though, he wasn't going to glow red at her wish to look for knickers. After all, all he had to do was stand out of the way until she was done. He'd played shopping assistant for the girls before, there was nothing much to it.

"Alright, Primark it is".

The two set off inside, with one feeling a hell of a lot more tense than the other.


Well, one that was being more honest at least.

James was just as nervous as she was… but supressed it far better. It was only when he found a spot out of the way, watching as Erin disappeared into the underwear section, that he confronted his ever-growing feelings for her. When Mary rang on the night of the prom, her voice littered with concern for her daughter, the reality of his feelings first came to fruition. Walking up the path to the Quinn's door, his heart was beating a rhythm that even an alcohol-fuelled Michelle wouldn't be able to dance to. When she'd taken his arm and they'd set off on the walk to school, it took every fibre in his body not to take her around to the side wall of the house and put his lips on hers. Those thoughts were angrily swiped away at the time, for good he'd hoped, only to return in the taxi as his mother was about to take him away. He kept up a good show when he returned, explaining his realisation that Derry was his home to them. But he'd only turned back for Erin. And now he didn't know how to tell her.

Feeling his cheeks burning, he turned to the nearest shelf in order to lose himself in feigned interest with the items on it. He'd found himself right next to the cutlery section, directly in front of a whole shelf full of wooden spoons. It would have been a paradise for Mary, who could have found any number of spoons to wield in her fierce ruling of the Quinn house. She didn't rule it with an iron fist; she ruled it with a wooden spoon. He briefly thought of buying Mary one for Christmas, but he'd wised up enough in his years to know that a trusty wooden spoon was not to be replaced. Anyway, knowing his luck, the spoon would probably turn out to be sentient and kill him. Though that was just a silly thought… obviously…

"Well… well… well… what do we have here then?"

James turned his head up at the woman's voice, finding her a few feet away from him. Staring at him… where she'd clearly been staring at the back of him. She certainly wasn't admiring the curve of his spine either…

"Erm… can I… help you?".

His head became his only ally as he was reminded in the next second about what this woman was. This was the rare breed of Derry cougar that Michelle warned him about. An older woman from the city, possibly single… possibly not, on the hunt for a strapping young man, something which Michelle immediately told him not to worry about as he was a 'right filthy fuckin' minger'. His cousin was wrong however, and had failed to give him the full explanation on how to fight off the attentions of the wild cougar. He would have to fend for himself upon the open plains of Primark.

"English…".

Finally him being from the wrong side of the sea came in handy. All the months of harassment and taunting thrown his way for being from England became worth it, saving him from the lust of the savage beast that cornered him.

"I like an English…". She licked her lips.

Aaaaaaaaaaaand no it hadn't…

He knew he was buggered at this point. All he could do was try to find an exit, but the woman had him where she wanted him. She wasn't unattractive, far from it in fact, she was actually quite beautiful, not that she held a candle to Erin. No one could in his eyes. Her precious face, her lovely warm eyes, the way she would tuck a stray hair back behind her ear…

"Look at those eyebrows…". The woman purred rather aggressively at him. "… almost as if they were stolen from Kathy Maguire herself…".

"How do you know my mum?"

The decision to voice what he was thinking straight away became one he regretted. If anything, it seemed to spur the woman on more.

"That explains that…". She gave him a wink… a very very friendly one… "… I'm Joanne. What's yer name… handsome English stranger?"

She'd moved forward and was resting her hands on his shoulders. He was mortified; anybody could walk past and look at him stood there with the older woman hanging off of his shoulders. Anyone…

"J… James". He sheepishly gave her what she was looking for.

"James… like Bond…".

Using the fleeting seconds where the woman was lost in her own fantasies, he took a step back out of her grasp. He was certain his cheeks were on fire this time.

"Don't be shy Mr Bond". She was purring at him again, far more flirtatiously than before. "We both know ye've got a concealed weapon…".

"Who owns the fella?"

To his pure horror, another Derry cougar appeared from behind Joanne's right shoulder.

It appeared they hunted in packs.

Trying to handle Joanne was failing, but now confronted with a second prowling creature, the Englishman was well beyond his capabilities. There were barely any girls his age that would pay him a compliment, and there he was with two professional seductresses on his case. James was in dire need of a miracle…

"I think ye'll find I do!"

Recognising the voice to his left, he was blindsided by the presence of a wild-eyed Erin Quinn. She'd quietly crept up the other side of the aisle whilst he was being examined by the lustful Joanne, watching as the second woman sidled over. In earshot as the question was asked, the straw broke the camel's back, launching the blonde forward to fend the women off her James. No… no… not her James… not like that…

"Ach ye have a wee bit of totty do ye...". The second woman tilted her head towards Erin.

"He does Sharon… he does". Joanne added. "But a noble… gallant… handsome… young Englishman needs a real woman, isn't that right Sharon?"

"Aye it is Joanne".

"Yeah well we're not like… that!" Erin continued to berate the two women. "We're just busy is all. And ye know… I think yer lost. Ann Summers is three shops down".

The two women baulked in offence to her as James just stood with his mouth hanging open, unsure of what was going on or how to properly react to it. He could only watch as the mudslinging battle heated up, one which Erin was already proving adept in.

"My house is only three streets away James…". Joanne tried to entice him, a finger twirling strands of her dark hair, but she was cut straight off by the feather-spitting Erin.

"I'm sure James would love to pop in and listen to stories about growin' up durin' the war another day". Joanne reared up in disgust at her once again as her laceration continued. "But as I've said we're busy, so if ye don't mind movin…".

"Mine's only two". Sharon whispered, giving him a wink that was even friendlier than Joanne's earlier.

"Alright that's enough Mrs Robinson!" Erin shouted at the woman. "Jesus might love ye, but James doesn't… so feck off!"

If he truly feared being eaten alive by the cougars, then it was another thing entirely to his fear of ever being on the end of an Erin Quinn lashing like the two women were. He'd seen her angry before, but never like this. Never so passionate in her arguments. Against the two older women, she held no apprehension for being outnumbered; she just completely went for them like a knife through butter.

"Hmph! Fine!" Joanne angrily retorted. "But ye should learn to keep yer bitch in line".

Her comment smiting Erin brought him back to his senses. There was no way he was going to let her get away with saying that to Erin, nor anyone for that matter. Yet amazingly, he didn't need to say or do anything.

Erin saw red.

Big time.

Reaching across his front, she picked up one of the wooden spoons on the shelf and lunged forward with it, striking Joanne cleanly on the nose as she'd turned her head slightly to laugh with Sharon. The resulting crack made James's eyes widen, recognising in an instant that Erin had only gone and broken the woman's nose with the wooden weapon.

"OI!"

A security guard happened to be watching too… Erin had really dropped them in it.

Luckily for her, James's brain returned to full working order and he immediately grabbed her by the hand.

"We need to get out of here".

It wasn't helping her though, her knees weakening at his muscular grip on her little hand, her heart skipping a beat along with them. However, she understood what he was saying, hastily dropping the knickers she'd chosen on the floor as he began to drag them away.

As soon as they'd navigated their way out of Primark, the two realised the security guard wasn't giving up, so they legged it out of the centre. Emotions were flooding the pair of them as their hands remained locked together, running through the streets of Derry at a furious pace. If they weren't so concerned about being caught, both were independently considering turning down a side alley and just going for it with the other. But they were so scared of having to face the music for her actions, they never stopped running until they were just a few doors away from the Quinn house.

"Christ…". An out of breath James uttered, their hands finally parting as they were both trying to catch their breath. "I think you broke her nose…".

"Oh god!". An equally knackered Erin began to cack it a-la Clare. "We can't tell mammy… we can't!"

"She's not going to know". He pointed out to her.

It didn't take him too long to realise that they were famous last words…