The Judge bangs his gavel as Vicki Pollard is called in as a witness which is me by the way i am like totally the fittesty hirl . Vicki Pollard claims to have seen Sakura Bum light fire to Dakoolguy's house. "Please state your name and occupation."

"Yeah, but, yeah, but cause what it was like this whole thing just happened that I didn't even know nothing about. Cause Lotta Hart's been going around saying that I pissed on Larry Butz's face and made him blind. That' like so out of order, I would so never do that. tt actually made him cum."

"Miss Pollard," the Judge said, at a loss for words. "That's not what we asked for. We want your name and occupation."

"I'm getting there! don't be so rude! Yeah so my name is Vikci Pollard and my occupation is lady of leisure."

"So you're a prostitute?" Edgeworth asked.

"OH MY GOD I SO CAN'T BELIEVE YOU JUST SAID THAT!"

"Are you one though?" the Judge said, wiping his forehead in shame.

"Yeah, but, no, but, yeah, but no, I charged for sex a few times if they'r minging and I know they have lots of money. But I run my own business and everything, also been a pop star, been on TV and I'm absotastic. I've slpt all te biggest starrs and if you don't believe me you can ask Jimmy Saville."

"Jimmy Saville is dead," Edgeworth delcared.

Vicky shook her shoulders. "Whatever."

"We're not interested in Lrry, we just want t know what you saw the night of the murder."

'yeah, but, but, yeah, what is was RIGHT THIS WHOLE THING JUST HAPPENED THAT I DIDN"T EVEN KNOW NOTHING ABOUT BECAUSE i WAS GIVING John Pheonix a blowjob and then Sakuta Bum andDakoolguy came charging in and were like vomiting all over th floor and Dajkoolguy is like the supreme leader of fan or something or nothing and John Phoenix was gonna defend me in court because Fransizka von Karma really has it in for me. Like everythime she sees me she whips me to death and i'm like oh my god i so can't believe you just done that you are well gonna get beatens for this and like she is such a lez she' like taking thew whop everywhere i swear to god she's got it in fr me she beeds to be jailed for secxually harrassment o somehting or nothing and don't go giving me evils PHOENIX WRIGHT!"

"OBJECTION!" Phoenix roared with his finger pointing at Vicki's tits .

"SHUT UP AND LET ME FINISGH OH MY GOD YOU"RE SO RUDE PHOENX WRIGHT!"

Your honour this has nothing to do with the case."

"I'M GETTING THERE!" Vicki yelled.

"Objection overtuled," the Jude saif with a sigh, "Just let her finish and then you can cross-examine her."

"Ew, that's disgusting. Anyway Sakua Bum was crying bewcause she has no boobs I mean hers is just a nipple compared to mine. yeah you all like what you see there. Apart from you two cause you're lke gay as fuck for each other. No homophobe I swear. Yeach, but, no, but yeah but, no because Sakur Bum was crying ad saying you mak evaginal god cry bcause your boyfriend has a small cock and you are a fat bitch and i was like oh my god i so can;t believe you just said that so me and john phoenix went t Dakoolguy's garden and had so much sex it's unbelievable and then Sakura Bum started pouring oil all over th house and then she lit a ciggerette and bam oh my god anyway the whole house caught fire and then Toya Latte came bursting the flames and said HEY GIRL WHERE AL THE DIGLETS AT?"

"YOU KILLED DAKOOLGUY!" {hoenix Wright shouted. "So you could have John Phoenix al to yourself."

"Do you have any evidence Mr Wright?"

"Yeah...but no, yeah, but no, but yeah but."

"OH MY GOD I SO CAN'T BELIEVE YOU JUST SAID THAT. YOU JUST STOLE MY QUOTE YOU ARE WELL GONNA GET SUED FOR THIS PHOENIXWRIGHT.

As Vicki rambled on and on, Phoenix said this case. "Cause what it was, this whole thing just happened that I didn't even know nothing about. Cause Maya was in Burger King when Edgeworth updated the autopsy report when Dakoolguy asn't shot to death he was burned. So if I keep bluffing my way and pressing and presenting evidence, then she will eventually breakdown and confess to her crimes!"

"OKAY I DID IT! DON"T GO GIVING ME EVILZ"

"THE COURT SAKURA BUM NOT GUILTY OF MURDER BUT GUILTY OF LITERATURE CRIMES."