Chapter 8.
A little self harming mentions, and depression mentions. So I have warned you.
A few weeks later, Rory and Logan had started to getting used to each other again.
Rory had begun working at her new job as editor at a paper, named The daily news.
Her new position made it possible for her to work from home when she needed to and be flexible with her hours, so she could focus on Logan as well.
Logan is still going to his daily therapy sessions and to his AA meetings.
"Babe, are you awake?" Rory asked carefully while walking in to their dark bedroom.
"Yeah, I'm awake." Logan answered her simply.
"What's wrong Logan?" She asked concerned.
"I'm just having a bad day I guess. Nothing to worry about." He told her while holding in his tears.
"Don't say that, I do worry about you. I want to help you, you just need to talk to me. I am here for you, trust me." Rory told him while joining him on the bed.
"I feel pathetic, I don't deserve to be loved especially not by you.. I have heard it so many times that I am pathetic and can't do anything right." He said while now crying.
"Oh Logan, you do deserve to be loved especially by me because I have seen you at your lowest and nothing can ever scare me away because I love you so much. And for the record you are not pathetic, you are one of the kindest and loving man I know. So what your dad says that, he doesn't know what he is talking about. I know the kind of man you are, he doesn't." Rory told him while slowly grabbing his hand.
"In a way I know that you're right but it's just so hard for me to believe it or even believe in myself for that matter." He told her while turning away from her.
"Do you want to be alone?" She asked carefully.
"Please don't leave, I'm afraid what I'll do if you leave me." He begged her terrified.
"I'm never going to leave you, never. I will be here right next to you." She promised him while kissing his neck.
After a while of Logan tossing and turning restlessly, she noticed that he had fallen asleep. She still had her arm around his waist, when she realized she had to use the bathroom. She gently removed her arm and gently got up, hurried to the bathroom.
She walked into the bathroom, and stopped in front of the mirror. She saw her face covered in tears. It hurt her seeing Logan hurting. But she realized all she could do was be there for him and support him.
A while later she walked back into the bedroom and saw Logan were still sleeping. She grabbed her laptop and got back into bed beside Logan again. She logged on to he computer and begun working on some articles.
Later her phone rang, she put away her laptop and walked out from the bedroom and answered it.
"Hey love, it's me. How's everything going?" Finn asked.
"It's going okey, I'm just worried about him Finny. All he does is sleep." Rory answered him.
"He's depressed love, just try and stay positive. All you can do is be there for him, he might not show it but he needs you." Finn told her.
"I know, but he is still seeing his therapist and to the AA meetings so that's something. At least he gets out of the apartment three days a week. I love him so much and it hurts so much seeing him like this. Knowing what has caused this all, makes me so angry."Rory told him.
"I know, this has been going on for years. His parents has put pressure on him, always telling him he hasn't been good enough. He has always tried to doing his best to prove his parents wrong but it has never been enough. He tried not caring what they said or did but he couldn't handle it. He finally hit his breaking point." Finn told her.
"I never liked the way his parents treated him, the constant complaining, the hurtful words they said. I wouldn't mind telling Mitchum and Shira some well chosen words. To let them know the damage they have caused." Rory told him honestly.
"I totally get where you're coming from love, but honestly I think that would make things worse than they already are." Finn told her.
"You are probably right. I'll talk to later okey Finn?" Rory asked.
"Of course love, I'll check in soon. Give Logan my best all right?" Finn answered her.
Rory laid down her phone and walked into the bedroom again, when she entered she saw Logan sitting up and looked panicked.
"Where were you?" He asked her panicked.
"Finn called, I didn't want to wake you babe. But I'm here now, I'm sorry Logan." Rory answered him while walking over to the bed.
"Oh, no I'm sorry. I just panicked." Logan whispered.
"Don't apologize Logan, it's not your fault." Rory told him while touching his cheek.
"Do you regret having me move in with you? Or still loving me?" He asked her while crying.
"No never, I have never stopped stopped loving you. And I love living here together with you, I wouldn't have it any other way."Rory answered him while looking at him.
"Wouldn't it just be easier for me just to go back to my own apartment? And get out of your way." Logan asked her.
"Never Logan, I won't allow you because I would go out of my mind worrying about you. I want you to live here with me, you are a very important part of my life, don't you forget it." Rory assured him.
"I don't deserve you Rory, I don't deserve anything." Logan said.
"You deserve everything, because you are amazing, brave and you are the guy whom I love and would do anything for." She told him while grabbing his hand.
"You really think that?" He asked her confused.
"Of course I do, I have regretted our breakup ever since it happened because I never fell out of love with you." Rory told him while tearing up.
"Please don't cry Ace, I hate to see you cry, I'm sorry Rory." Logan apologized.
"It's not your fault Logan, we're both hurting. I'm just worried about you." Rory reassured him.
Logan didn't respond, he just grabbed a hold of Rory and hugged her.
"Do you want to watch a movie? And maybe getting something to eat as well?" Rory asked him.
"A movie sounds nice, I'm not really so hungry." Logan responded.
"Babe, you have to eat something. Just something please, for me?" Rory begged him.
"Fine, just a little. What do you want to eat?" Logan asked.
"We could order some Chinese food?" Rory answered.
"Chinese food since great, do you want me to get some glasses and something to drink?" He asked her.
"Sure, you do that and I'll order the food." Rory answered him.
Logan got out from the bed, walked towards the kitchen and grabbed some glasses and grabbed some Coca Cola. He stopped by the knives drawer, opened it and looked at the knives.
"How easy everything would be if I just ended it." He thought to himself.
He were so caught up in his own thoughts that he didn't hear Rory walking into the kitchen.
"Logan, what are you doing?" Rory asked scared.
"Nothing." He lied.
"Don't lie to me Logan, I think I know what you are thinking about." Rory told him while walking over to him and the shut the drawer.
"I can't help it, it's just there in my mind." Logan said.
"I'm here for you, come here." Rory told him while extending her arms and hugged him.
" I can't help it Rory, I just want to take away the pain." Logan cried into her shoulder.
"Hush sweetie, it is not your fault. You are hurting, and I will try to help you through this. If you'll let me." Rory told him.
"I need you." Logan told her.
Yes I'm alive! After almost a year I have finally updated this story of mine. Please give me comment on what you think!
I hope this storyline isn't to touchy, I just feel like this is a important subject to talk about. Myself having some depression and knowing what it feels like to feel hopeless, and thinking that everything would be easier if I wasn't alive. So yeah.
Anyway thanks for reading.
