First Published: November 26, 2012

Author's Note: The first chapter is a republish. Only grammatical and spelling errors have been rectified. From chapter two onwards, it has been recently (since 2021) written. All mistakes are my own.

"As I stared into your eyes, you asked me why I was about to cry, it's because I know you were going to say goodbye."

~Author Unknown~

There was a definite chill in the air as Derek Morgan made his way towards the kitchen of the Behavioural Analysis Unit within the FBI; the unit he had worked at for most of his career in law enforcement. His career had started as a beat cop in Chicago, Illinois – where he was from – but from there he moved away from Chicago to Quantico, Virginia and joined the BAU as a profiler. The team had changed so much from when he first started almost seven years ago. When he had first joined the team, Jason Gideon was the Unit Chief, with Aaron Hotchner, Spencer Reid, Elle Greenaway and himself as profilers, with Jennifer Jareau being the team's media liaison and Penelope Garcia was their technical analyst and computer extraordinaire. In the past seven years however, Elle Greenaway had left the team, and Emily Prentiss had taken her place, Jason Gideon had left the team and David Rossi had taken his place. And just recently, Jennifer Jareau had left the team and a FBI cadet from the academy, Ashley Seaver, had joined the team. Even more recently, Prentiss had been killed by an old foe, and the team had suffered another loss. The loss of another friend and co-worker. Morgan had become more reserved since Prentiss' death. During his time at the BAU, he had had two partners, and had lost them both suddenly. Admittedly he hadn't lost Elle through death, but her resigning from her post after shooting an unsub. Elle had claimed it was in self-defence, and the Bureau had cleared it as such, but Morgan and the whole team had their doubts. It wasn't that the team didn't believe Elle, but she hadn't been the same since she had been shot while on a previous case. In her own home no less. She may as well have died though, in Morgan's eyes. Since resigning, nobody had heard anything from Elle. Morgan had tried calling her when Garcia had been shot, and when Henry had been born but all he got was a recorded message saying the number was not recognized. By the time Hayley was killed, he didn't even bother trying to call. It had taken him two and a half years to finally accept Elle had cut the BAU from her life and wanted nothing to do with her former colleagues. He didn't like it, but he had accepted it. Prentiss' death affected him more than Elle leaving did though, as expected really. Prentiss had almost died in his arms. He had practically cried, begging her to stay with him. What felt like an eternity later, but in reality only a minute later, the medic had arrived and quickly whisked Prentiss away to the hospital. Morgan kept repeatedly telling himself that the fact they were rushing so much meant that the raven-haired agent was still alive. It wasn't until Prentiss had been in the operating room for two hours or more that JJ had come and regretfully told them she had died on the table. It had taken all of Morgan's willpower not to cry in front of his colleagues and friends; and yet still a tear slipped silently from his eye. That day, the day his best friend and partner died, was the reason why Morgan had become more reserved and distant from his co-workers and friends. It wasn't that he didn't trust them anymore (he still had their backs in the field and he knew they still had his) but he didn't want to be as close to anyone as he was to Elle or Prentiss and lose them. He wasn't sure he'd be able to deal with the heartache again.

Morgan had finished making his coffee by the time he realized his mind had drifted and he was thinking about the death of his friend once again. It was mostly what he thought about these days. Not just her death, but Emily Prentiss in general. From when they first met, right up until she was rushed away by the paramedics and the last time he saw her. He couldn't say specifically what he thought about most. Although he put on a tough exterior, especially while at work, he missed his friend and partner. He missed their slightly flirtatious banter, their serious conversations, the fun they used to have in the office when they were doing nothing but paperwork, the seriousness of being out in the field and having each other's backs. Mostly, he missed her amazing ability to compartmentalize. He still didn't know how she could compartmentalize so well. Although, the more the team got to know her, the more they seemed to notice that she did have her weaker moments. Suddenly, Morgan found himself reminiscing about a case they had when Prentiss was still fairly new to the team. It was the first time he had seen her doubt herself; or rather, doubt the job and that what they were doing actually was for the better of society. He had boarded the jet last, finding everyone sat or lying down, all looking extremely tired and worn-out. But Emily was sat in a seat separate to the rest of the team, looking rather forlorn as she stared out of the window waiting for take-off.

"You okay?"

"Mm."

"I've never seen you look so, um..."

"Quiet?"

"What's up?"

"Bobbi Baird asked me a question that's sticking with me."

"What was it?"

"She asked me how they could do it, how those men could hunt and kill people in the woods."

"What'd you tell her?"

"That they don't think like we do. But the truth is that we do think like them."

"Yeah, we do. Because it's our job. We need to know how it feels."

"We hunt these people every day. The question is; how different are we? 'Us' and 'them'?"

By the time Morgan's mind was out of the past and back in the present, he realized he had wondered back to his desk with his lukewarm coffee. His coffee had never been what one could call 'hot', after all it was office coffee, but now, it was barely drinkable. Swallowing the dark brown liquid in a few large gulps, Morgan picked up his pen from his blotter again and began working on the files on his desk. It had been a slow day at the office as they had been no cases that crossed Aaron Hotchner's desk that demanded the team's immediate assistance. As a result, the team had spent the entire morning working on paperwork sat at their desks. Throughout the morning, Morgan must have completed preliminary profiles for about seven different files, each one more gruesome than the previous. However, it was nothing to his friend and colleague, Spencer Reid who had completed a staggering twelve. "There must be something for his speed in reading" Morgan muttered under his breath as he saw Reid place yet another file on his 'completed' pile. He wasn't usually one to mutter things under his breath; he'd usually just come out with it in a tone filled with banter, but things had changed since Prentiss has died. He had coiled more into himself and stopped so much of the banter. "Did you say something?" Reid looked up from his newest file and asked with a hint of annoyance lacing his voice. He understood that Morgan was shutting himself in to save getting hurt again later, they all were to some extent, but the mutterings under his breath were really beginning to irritate the young genius. Morgan looked up from his file with a genuine smile on his face. "I said there must be something for your speed in reading. Just look at how many files you've completed in comparison to me!" He hadn't meant to sound like he was saying anything derogatory under his breath when he had muttered to himself as that's not how he had meant what he had said at all.

"I miss her too, you know" Reid murmured quietly as he turned back to file at hand and quickly wrote him primary profile after reading the case file and looking at the glossy photographs. Once he had finished, he looked towards Morgan who was trying to focus his attention on one of his cases. "By throwing myself into the files and not giving myself time to think, I feel like I'm doing something that actually helps Emily in a way; and I don't have time to miss her so much." Morgan looked up slowly after he had finished reading his report and smiled sadly. "Reid..." he murmured "I had no idea how much you missed her... Do you want to go out tonight for a couple of drinks in memory of her? We can all go out and have a good time, remembering." He wasn't sure where the idea to go out had come from; but the team hadn't gone out since Emily's death and he thought it would be a nice thing to do. Reid nodded his head slightly as he put his pen down. "Do you reckon JJ would want to come along as well?" he asked "And maybe Will if they can get a babysitter?" Morgan grinned and, case files momentarily forgotten about, him and Reid began planning their night. As the planning for the night drew to a close about half an hour later, both the male profilers found themselves wanting to talk more about their friend in a positive light, and it was dusk by the time they realized they had spent the afternoon talking instead of completing their case files.

"Here, hand me a few" Reid smiled as he eyed the pile of cases still stacked on Morgan's desk that he needed to complete. "We'll never get to the pub if you've still got to do all of those before you're allowed to leave!" Morgan laughed and handed him five manila files from his desk with a smile. "Thanks; I'll buy you a drink as thanks later." Reid chuckled and took the files. "Don't worry about it; I kind of want these drinks as well. Think of it as a non-repayable favour." Morgan nodded his head in gratitude just as Hotch walked past on the balcony. "We have a case. Conference room in five"

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