Chapter 77

Olivia woke up at 2 AM to an empty bed. She looked out on the balcony and saw Amanda crying. She watched her for a few minutes to see if she was going to stop. She had a feeling she knew what it was about and went to comfort her. "Baby what's wrong? Why are you out here by yourself and crying? Remember I told you that you can cry in front of me." Amanda grabbed Olivia and hugged her so tight it scared her, "I'm scared. I'm so scared."

Olivia just held her, "Baby, what's scaring you?" Olivia sat down and held Amanda while she calmed down. "I'm sorry Liv I didn't want to wake you up and I hate crying." Olivia rubbed her back and wiped her tears, "It's okay and you didn't wake me. Why are you scared?" Amanda looked at her, "They are so young and they don't understand what's going on. What if they ask about our dad? I can't tell them anything good. What if they hate me when they get older for taking them? I want to change their name. I'm a Benson and I want them to be a Benson. What if I mess up?"

Olivia tried to calm her fears, "Baby, I think that because they are young it might be a good thing. You don't have good memories, because you lived it. Amanda you went through some hard times. Together, we will make sure they have better times and good memories. I wish we could wave a magic wand and say everything will be perfect, but that's not life. We will try though and we will give them all of the love we have to offer." Olivia sat there and held her. "Okay Liv. You know I trust you. I haven't changed my mind and I won't back out tomorrow. I'm still going to worry about them, wonder if I'm doing the right thing, and the right way." Olivia smiled, "Baby, I think that's exactly what parents do, so you're on the right track. Let's go to bed and get some sleep."

After the early morning wake up and crying session, Olivia got up and dressed first. She ordered room service and let Amanda sleep in as long as she could. Around 10:00 she kissed her softly on the lips "I guess I'm gonna be the one who wakes up when the baby cries, because you can sleep through an earthquake." Amanda who still had her eyes closed began to smile, "Morning Liv." She blinked, "Liv you're dressed?" Liv pulled Amanda up, "Yep I wanted you to sleep. We need to eat breakfast, get you dressed, and get on the road."

They headed to Atlanta and met Ms. Hardwick in her office. "It's so nice to see you in person Amanda and Olivia. Noah is very excited and he's been asking every day, how many more days. He's very smart and alert. Jesse is a very calm and happy baby, so the adjustment shouldn't be bad at all. I'm available at any time, but everything has been transferred to caseworker George Huang in New York for your convenience. He will meet you and your lawyer Mr. Langan at your home on Wednesday. Your lawyer will help you with all paperwork after that. Once Mr. Huang clears you, which shouldn't be long, you're free to close the adoption and everyone will be out of your hair. I will say Noah has a special place in my heart, so I wouldn't mind any updates you're willing to provide. Do you have any questions?"

Olivia looked at Amanda, "Baby what are you thinking?" Amanda took a deep breath, "Wow that all seems like a lot, but you make it sound so easy. Have you seen my dad?" Ms. Hardwick sat back in her chair and looked at Olivia. She was protective of Amanda also, she wanted a sign that it was ok, Olivia just nodded. "Ms. Hardwick, whatever you need to say to Amanda, say it. She's young, but we don't do secrets, we do honesty." Ms. Hardwick looked at Amanda, "I have seen him Amanda. I saw him a few months ago after their mother died, when I asked him to sign over his rights."

She looked at Olivia again. Amanda looked confused and so did Liv. Olivia spoke up, she knew how cases went and there was something she wasn't saying. "Wait Ms. Hardwick, I'm not following. Why did you approach him about signing over custody, was he ever asked to take custody of the kids?" Ms. Hardwick leaned forward and handed Olivia a file, "Amanda I didn't lie to you. Your dad doesn't want them, you're dad also cannot take custody of them. I saw him in prison when he signed those papers. He killed their mother in a drunken fight. He beat her and she died from those injuries. Noah and Jesse were with neighbors and they didn't know anything. Luckily Noah doesn't have much memory about either one of them and that's probably best."