3/12/00

To: hg79ATyahooDOTcom

From: dlm80ATyahooDOTcom

Re: taking a break

Dearest Hermione,

I understand. Thank you for letting me know. Take as long as you need before viewing the final memory. I am in no rush as I want nothing bad to befall you and your health. The last memory however is from after the battle so you have surpassed the worst, I promise.

Always yours,

Draco

Hermione tilted her head to the side and looked at Harry as Kreacher cleaned up their leisurely breakfast. "Are you up for going in the Pensieve?"

"Are you?" he returned the question.

"I wasn't out nearly as late as you were last night," she pointed out with a smile.

"Did I wake you?" he grimaced and ducked his head.

"No, I had just woken up and heard you coming up the stairs."

"Sorry. When I left, I'd forgotten that Gin was still in team lockdown for playoff prep. I thought it was later in the year than it is."

"I forgot about that too. Has to be tough to be stuck with your teammates for a week solid with no break."

"I think if it weren't her first year it might be but she's just so excited to be playing professionally that nothing this year has fazed her. Anyway, since I was already at the Burrow I spent some time with Ron and Molly and Arthur."

"I'm sure they were thrilled to see you. You didn't tell them why you were there did you? What inspired the visit?"

He scowled at her, "I'm smarter than that Mione. I just told them it felt like too long since my last visit, and it really had been. Molly had to ask a million questions about how I was doing, Arthur talked about the Ministry, then Molly had to fill us in on Charlie, Percy, and Bill and Fleur. Finally Ron and I grabbed a couple of butterbeers and went up to his room to talk."

She bit her lip, "Did he ask about me?"

"No, I thought he was going to at least a time or two but he never did."

"That's a good sign."

"Even better he mentioned a witch from Flourish and Botts, apparently he's been stopping in there regularly when he's in the Alley."

"Good, that's really good. I'm glad he's moving on. I never meant to hurt him but…" she trailed off.

"Yeah," he nodded then changed the subject. "So, how was George? Did you get to see him?"

"It was Saturday night in Diagon Alley. The place was packed. I actually ended up helping out for the last hour then was failing at convincing him to get out for a bit when Angelina came in and the three of us went to the Leaky for a drink. He's still struggling but I don't think any of us can expect any different for a while, it's just so different for him and while the shop helps it's also a reminder."

"Yeah," he said, "Molly and Arthur have good moments and bad. Ron and Gin seem to be doing ok now though. I mean I know they'll still have bad times but they seem to be mostly good now."

"Quidditch and auror training are probably good distractions. And time is always helpful. I can't believe it's been almost two years."

They say quietly finishing the last of their tea reminiscing without speaking.

Finally Hermione said, "So are you ready to go view this last memory? I've been promised that it will be much easier than the others."

"Promised?"

"I emailed Draco to tell him about our decision to stop last night and he replied, I got it first thing this morning."

"Got it."

"So ready?" she asked for a third time.

He nodded and followed her to number 13 where they went through the ritual of the memory recovering spell before pouring the last vial of Draco's memories into the Pensieve and diving in. Seconds later they found themselves standing in the Great Hall after the final battle. Harry shuddered to once again see the aftermath and Hermione wrapped her arms around herself. It wasn't the middle of the battle but it wasn't easy nonetheless to see this once again. The combined excitement and happiness of Voldemort's defeat with the utter grief over lost friends and family members was a different kind of mental strain.

To their left sitting huddled together at a table was the Malfoy family. Draco said something to his parents then stood and walked out of the room. Harry and Hermione followed him through the castle, up stairs, past debris, to the room of requirement. He stood staring at it, put up a hand on the wall then turned and walked away passing between Harry and Hermione. They again followed him as he continued to meander through destruction until he reached the stairs to the astronomy tower.

The blonde stood at the bottom of the stairs, took a deep breath and began to slowly climb. When they arrived at the top he strode across to the ledge, eyes never looking anywhere but straight ahead.

Footsteps behind them caused Harry and Hermione to turn though Draco didn't move.

"You shouldn't be here," he said. "You shouldn't be anywhere near me."

"Where else would I be?" asked the Hermione of the memory.

"With your friends," he said softly, "anywhere but here."

She walked over and stood beside him. When she tried to take his hand he stepped away from her.

"Draco," she pleaded, reaching out again but dropping her hand when he took yet another strep away from her.

"You have to go." He spoke so quietly the two viewing had to move closer to hear.

She chewed her lip for a moment before tensing up and asking, "Are you going to jump?"

"What?" he swiveled to look at her agog. "No!"

"Then why are you standing here so close to the edge?"

"Just enjoying my last few moments of freedom."

"You aren't going to lose your freedom," she protested.

"Hermione, I am a marked Death Eater. For that alone I should be in Azkaban, then there's the fact that I let other Death Eaters into the castle, tried multiple times to kill Dumbledore and ended up hurting others, and," he paused, turned so his back was to her, and when he spoke again his voice was barely above a whisper, "I didn't save you. I didn't do anything to stop my aunt, that crazy witch, from hurting the woman I love most in this world."

"She would have killed you if tried, or at the very least tortured you."

"Mother would never have let her," he said.

"Then she would have killed or tortured your mother. She would have stopped at nothing to please Voldemort."

"You're right, family meant nothing to her anymore, only him, and he would have killed or tortured us all if we'd fought amongst ourselves and let you all escape. It would have been worse than it was. I probably wouldn't be here now."

"So you had no choice," she said matter of factly.

"I always had a choice, just not one I was willing to make so I chose the coward's way out. I could have chosen death and saved you from the pain and torture."

She didn't answer right away, just looked at his back. Finally she said, "Do you have your knife?"

He shook his head but didn't answer aloud.

"Draco?" she prodded.

Again he said nothing but this time turned and held up his hands allowing the sleeves of his robe to fall so that she could see his hands were empty and his arm though marked and scarred was not freshly wounded. "My pockets are empty. You can check if you don't believe me."

As he put his hands down again she grabbed them, "Draco come with me."

"Where?

"To somewhere no one can find us right now."

"The fire-" he started.

"I didn't mean there," she cut in. "We can go to our space in the library."

"It's probably also destroyed and we can't be seen together anyway."

"No one will see us, everyone is in the Great Hall and what would it matter anyway the war is over?"

He shook his head slowly, "It matters and you know it does. Someone will see us together and automatically assume that I'm going to hurt you because he lost and you're a Mu-"

"Mudblood."

Draco flinched, "Don't call yourself that."

"Why not, it's what I am and I'm not ashamed of it. Anyone who sees us I'll just tell them I'm with you by choice."

"Then they'll assume I Imperiused you."

"Do you even have a wand anymore?"

He shook his head again.

"Then that's not possible is it? Do you not want to be with me?" she asked before he could argue that people could be Imperiused for months at a time, that the claim of that was why his father and so many others had escaped Azkaban the last time.

He squeezed her hands, "I'd love to do nothing more than hide away with you from the rest of the world, but it's not safe. I love you, though I've shown anything but in the past month or more the past year, and I need to know that you're ok, that you're safe and it's not safe for you to be with me."

"Look I'll go ahead to the library, you just follow along in a few minutes so it doesn't look like you're actually following me and meet me in our spot," she said reasonably.

He shook his head but again stayed silent.

"Draco, no one has to know. No one will see us together. I'm telling you everyone is in the Great Hall right now. Just wait five minutes then follow me. If you see people take a different route. Once we're in our spot no one can see us or find us. I can add extra wards. I've gotten really good at them this past year."

"All right," he said, turning to stare out over the grounds again.

Time skipped ahead and they were following the blonde as he moved once again through the halls of the castle. As they neared the library doors a pair of aurors came into view off to the side. Draco stopped for a moment, head moving back and forth between the library and the aurors. Finally he took a deep breath, straightened his shoulders, and walked directly to the pair.

"I'm sorry Hermione," he whispered as he passed the library entrance.

"I am Draco Malfoy. I am a marked Death Eater, and I wish to remand myself to your custody," he announced to the aurors, hands held out in front of him low, flat and open.

The memory faded as the aurors stepped towards him.

"So that's it," Hermione said, "I'm not sure what I should be feeling after seeing that. The old me was certainly upset that he never came to the library but I'd imagine she also understood why when she found out and was proud of him as well."

"Are you proud of him?" Harry asked.

She tilted her head to the side and twisted her lips, "I think I am. It was remarkably brave of him to do so knowing that he might never be free again."

"That or just dumb and impulsive."

"Are you really the one to judge someone else being impulsive?" she asked, incredulous.

He laughed, "No, I guess not. It was brave too, braver than anything else he did during the war and definitely braver than anyone else on Voldemort's side."

"That might be the nicest thing you've said about him," she said. "I suppose I should go and email him now, let him know that we're done and it didn't work, not the way we wanted it to anyway. It seems my memories are permanently lost."

"Not yet," Harry said. "We have one more memory to watch."

"But there aren't any more vials."

"This is my memory," he replied.

"No, I can't, I won't, no more from the battle, no more of what you saw versus what he saw. I'm done with that," she argued.

"Mione, you really think I'd do that to you again. I don't want to relive those anymore than I already do. This is when you told me about you and Draco."

"Oh," she deflated. "All right then."

Harry put the tip of his wand to his temple, extracted the memory and sent the silvery strand into the bowl.

When the mists faded Hermione could see they were in the library at Grimmauld Place. A version of her was sitting at the table surrounded by books and Harry was striding in the door.

"Mione, we need to talk."

"Yes we do," she replied, "I need your help."

Her quick response gave him pause but he pushed on, "Why were you trying to get into see Malfoy?"

"I could ask how you know but the gossip at the Ministry is as bad as the gossip ever was at Hogwarts. I tried to get in to see Draco because my letters to him keep coming back unopened."

"What the bloody hell are you sending him letters for?"

"Because I love him," she said matter-of-factly.

Harry's jaw dropped.

Before he could speak she continued, "And he loves me. I have to talk to him so I know how I can best help his barrister prepare his defense."

"You… you… love him?" Harry sputtered. "What… how… what's wrong with you?"

"And he loves me," she reiterated.

"Have you gone mental?" he shouted.

"Harry sit down."

"Sit down? You just announced to me that you love Malfoy and he loves you and you want me to just sit down. Sure I'll sit down in the waiting room at Mungo's while they examine you because something is clearly wrong. When did he Imperius you? In the Room of Requirement? Did he get a hold of a wand after the battle and catch you in the hallway, Ron said you disappeared not long before he was arrested."

She waved her wand and he continued raving silently for several minutes before it dawned on him what she had done. He glared at her but she held her wand up lightly.

"I didn't want to do that but you have to listen to me. I need your help. I am just fine. Draco didn't Imperius me. We started spending time together the second half of fourth year. We started seeing each other, privately of course, during fifth year."

Harry tried again to speak and when nothing came out he tore at his hair, paced the floor, and gritted his teeth.

"Please just sit and I'll explain it all."

He shook his head vehemently and took out his own wand to remove the Silencing charm she had placed on him, she casually cast an Expelliarmus and snatched his wand when it flew her way then waited for him to wear himself out and sit. Then she spent the next several minutes telling Harry about everything the present pair had seen in the memories and more.

"I thought about showing this to you first," Harry whispered to her as the memory continued to play, "but I thought it might be more confusing, better to show it to you now at the end."

She nodded and watched her former self kneel down in front of that Harry, tears in her eyes and pleaded, "You have to help me save him."

He grimaced and nodded tersely as the mists began to swirl. Neither said a word when they returned to the present. Together they cleaned and boxed up the items in the room until only the old chair and her yoga mat.

"One last thing," Harry said to her as they left and he turned off the light, "come with me."

"Where are we going?"

"Just wait and see."

"I'm really getting tired of just waiting," she growled.

"I know, but this will be the last time, I promise you. Well the last time for this," he added as he led her to the back garden, holding tight to her arm he apparated them to Hogsmeade.

"Hogwarts? Really?"

"Just trust me Mione," he pleaded.

She looked at him for a moment, suspicious then nodded. They walked to the castle in silence. When they reached the library doors Harry stopped.

"Go on in."

She looked at him questioning, "And where in there am I supposed to go?"

"I think you know," he replied.

Hermione looked at him, bit her lower lip, nodded once and entered the library. Her heart rate sped as she walked to the alcove. She stumbled just a bit as she fought with herself not to stop walking at the beginning of the aisle. She could see the curtains were dropped down. Her breath caught as she swept them aside and saw Draco sitting on the couch.

"How…"

"The Minister arranged it, McGonagall backed him up. I'm only here for the weekend. I go back to New Orleans this evening. I'll be home in time to go to bed and be at work tomorrow."

"But the Wizengamot…"

"Isn't nearly so clever as they think," he said, gesturing for her to sit and shifting to one end so that there would be plenty of space between them. "Apparently the Minister managed to sneak something into a bill they were passing. From what Potter said I think he wrote it in some ancient language and buried it in the middle of the thirty feet of parchment. I am allowed to visit once a month until my training is complete and I am able to return to the UK with full magic at that time."

"They didn't read it fully? None of them?" She found that hard to believe.

"Whatever he slipped it into must have been a regulation they really wanted or they're so vain they didn't think anyone could do anything like that."

"It's politics, of course someone would. Unless wizarding politics is truly that different from Muggle politics."

"Somehow I doubt it is. The basic principles are the same I'm sure. Plenty of trades and possible blackmail to get what you want. I didn't ask for details, just thanked him and arranged transportation," he replied.

"What would you have done if I hadn't finished the memories today? What if I'd listened to Harry and waited until next week?"

He smiled, "I was counting on your curious nature, and your frustration with the process, but if that hadn't worked Potter and I booked a series of portkeys for next weekend that would have bought you to New Orleans."

"I hope they're refundable," she commented then shook her head when he just shrugged. "So will you be moving back home after your apprenticeship is over?"

"I don't know. New Orleans has become home and my co-workers there have become family. I don't ever want to live in the Manor again. I know Mother has renovated and redecorated it top to bottom but it doesn't matter. There are just too many bad memories there in that place even if that place looks completely different."

"And the good memories aren't enough to outweigh the bad?"

"Putting aside the fact that Voldemort lived in my house, would you ever visit me there?"

She hesitated, "I don't-"

"Sorry," he said. "That truly was an unfair question when you may not want to visit me anywhere. I could handle visiting Mother there for short periods of time but living there no, just no."

"So if you did return to the UK where would you live?"

"If I were to return I'd have to be able to find a position. I'm not planning on living off my family's wealth. Then I'd choose a modest house in a more secluded area. While I don't mind living among people in the States, they don't know me. Here, well it's different. Honestly I'd been thinking that if I came back to Europe I'd end up living in one of the Malfoy or Black cottages in France."

"But I can't work for the Ministry here if I live in France," she said.

He turned slowly to look at her unsure what to say, afraid to actually ask if she meant what he thought she did.

She reached over and entwined her fingers with his, "I'm not saying I won't still have questions and that I won't still wonder about my missing memories but you've more than proven yourself to me. You laid it all out there for me, the good, the bad, and the absolutely atrocious and let me decide for myself. You were brave enough to risk my hating you, and you loved me enough to not give up even when you felt it was an impossible task. You were completely honest with me in the memories and our emails. I trust that you can continue to be that way. If you truly can't live in the UK, if you can't find a position or open your own small shop here then we'll live somewhere else. I can learn French or I can move to New Orleans with you. I just need to finish out my contract with the ministry."

"But what would you do if you don't work with them?"

"I'll find something as long as we're together."

He hung his head, "We could have been together already and you would still have your memory if I hadn't been so selfish to begin with."

"I would never ask you to give up your magic for me."

"But I should have been willing to give it up. My love for you should have been enough. You would do it if our positions were for some inexplicable reason reversed."

"False equivalency," she said, "you know it's not the same thing. I was raised without magic, much as I love it and have taken to it I can live without it. I honestly still don't do everything with magic that can be done. There are things I still do the way I was taught as a child. For you it would be like losing a limb… no that's not really a good analogy either, but it would be losing a part of yourself, a major part. You've grown up using magic and being surrounded by it, it's part of who you are. That's why the Wizengamot wanted to take it from you to begin with, though that seems incredibly dangerous. If you can't use your magic, if they can't rid you of it but only bind it somehow it would invariably come out anyway and hurt someone."

"Then they could have locked me up just as so many of them wanted to do."

"Which is probably exactly what they hoped would happen. Anyway it doesn't matter now. I could still do my research into magical creatures and write books, I could change paths and become a healer, I could apprentice under you and also become a potioneer and we could run a shop together. I could tutor young witches and wizards. I could help parents of Muggle borns adjust to life with a magical child no matter where we are. I might need to learn a new language and become proficient in translation charms in the meantime but I could do it."

He tilted his head to the side, looking at her with a slight smile on his face, "You'd do all that for me?"

"I'd do that for us," she corrected, "so where shall we live?"

A/N and that's it, with the exception of a very short epilogue, I hope you all have enjoyed it and if not ok then. Now to move on to one of the three unfinished stories I have or give into the urge to start the idea for the new story running circles in my head.