A/N: I was inspired by 7.16 and this song so thought I'd see where my mind took me, and here it is. References to drinking before a slightly sexual encounter, 100% consensual but just wanted to add a warning just in case. I think I like this, it gets a bit wordy towards the end but I also think the middle to end are my favourite sections!

Title and lyrics from 'Hope Is a Heartache' by LÉON


it's like we're sitting on dynamite (but we're not ready to start a fight)


Stuck in emotions and I don't know what they mean

Keep thinking about us and how things get in between

But if it is love, it doesn't matter, you don't belong to me

But I think you know…

Harvey holds Donna close as they sway to yet another song, both ignoring the suggestive glances their two newly-wedded friends are throwing in their direction. They're quite content to just be in each others arms, surrounded by couples as they celebrate Mike and Rachel's love.

"I don't think I've thanked you, for calling me and getting me back…" Harvey breaks the comfortable silence they'd settled into as they swayed to the band.

Donna smiles softly, raising a hand up to pick off imaginary flint from his jacket, the move only an excuse to gently stroke his shoulder.

"Of course, it wouldn't have felt right without you…"

His grip on her tightens, if only by a little, and Donna finds herself pressed slightly closer to him. Her cheek almost resting just below his.

"I wouldn't have wanted to miss this…" Harvey answers wistfully and Donna pulls back a bit to look at him, wondering if he was referring to the wedding or them dancing. But he doesn't look at her, instead his eyes are scanning the room.

When I talk about you, I'm afraid to say too much

Somebody asked about you, if there's something more to us

Donna hasn't been alone for all of five seconds when she feels someone settle into the empty seat beside her.

"Hey…" Her head turns to see the tall, blonde man sitting beside her. He's tall with a handsome face and if she were in any other place, literally and mentally, she'd think about letting herself succumb to whatever play he's about to try to charm her with and let him take her to bed.

"Hi." She replies, tipping her head slightly.

"I hope you don't mind the boldness but I saw you dancing and thought I just had to get to know you… I'm Peter…"

"Donna…"

"Friend of the bride?"

"Both, bride and groom actually. We all work together."

"And that man you were dancing with? He your boyfriend or something?" Peter continues, not the type of man to go after someone else's partner.

It's such a simple question but it startles Donna, and she looks at him, mouth agape, as she reflects on her relationship with Harvey. He's definitely not her boyfriend, but colleague or friend doesn't really cover the depths of their relationship. Best friend just feels wrong, that's not what they are to each other. But they are something, the last year alone proving it.

"We're friends… good friends." Realising she's been lost in her own thoughts, Donna settles on the easiest answer and offers a small smile, as she watches the grin spread across her companion's face.

But if it is love, does it matter?

There's nothing to discuss

And I think you know

Her answer seems to satisfy Peter, who launches into an old story about Mike, and she smiles and laughs in all the right places. He's not unpleasant, nor is he unattractive, but Donna can't help but feel distracted and empty, especially as she'd spent much of the evening dancing in Harvey's embrace.

Out of the corner of her eye, she finally spots Harvey at the bar. The sense of relief she feels is fleeting when she looks just to the left of him to see the leggy blonde, in the shortest of dresses, fawning at his side. Seeing Harvey laugh at whatever the blonde was saying is the last thing she sees before Peter stands before her, blocking her line of sight.

"Do you want to dance?" He asks, offering her his hand as she stands. Donna is just about to place her hand in his when she feels a familiar presence come up close behind her, a hand, not her own or Peter's, gently settling on her waist.

She doesn't need to turn to se who it is but does anyway, catching a familiar smirk she knows all too well. The one Harvey uses to challenge someone to go up against him, knowing he'll come out on top. To Peter's credit, he drops his hand immediately. But not before raising both of them in a non-threatening manner and backing away ever so slightly.

"Have a great evening guys." He nods at them before retreating on his heels, not before muttering 'friends, yeah right', under his breath.

Again, Donna doesn't need to face Harvey to see the grin on his face, but she does anyway and sees the almost sneer. Rolling her eyes, she elbows him gently, causing the grin to fade ever so slightly.

"Aren't you going to thank me?" He asks confidently.

"For that display of peacocking?" Donna snorts, eyebrow arched, "You didn't need to do that."

"Well," Harvey begins, voice low. "The only person you're dancing with tonight is me…"

Donna once again finds herself being pulled gently into Harvey's arms as he guides them back onto the dance floor.

"What about the blonde you were talking to over at the bar?"

"No competition," Harvey replies, eyes glinting as his hands, one clasped around hers and around her waist, tighten their hold on her.

"And anyway," he continues, voice dropping even lower so Donna has to lean in closer, "You know what they say, the best man only has eyes for the maid of honor…"

Donna's eyes widen at his brazen flirtation, eyes surreptitiously glancing around them to see if anyone had heard. She can't help the relief and excitement that passes through her body as she sees no one paying much attention to them, they're just another couple on the dance floor.

Donna snorts, "You're an idiot…" before she throws her head back laughing and just the sight of her laughing, in his arms, is enough to set him off as well.

They continue the night, as Harvey said, dancing together and only with each other, making an exception to dance with Rachel and Mike. When they're not dancing, they're seated as close as two people can get, exchanging smiles and stories with each other, washed down by flutes on flutes of champagne and at some point, scotch.

I think back to the hotel

To where nowhere else could see

They're two of the last to leave the main ballroom, having only realised the dwindling numbers as the sounds of their own laughter had echoed louder in the nearly empty room.

"Thank god I got myself a room…" Donna mumbles as the two leave the elevator and walk down the hallway to her room.

Donna's slightly drunker than Harvey, having had a few more drinks before the start of the ceremony while she and Rachel were getting ready. She's got her heels in one hand, dangling at her side as she moves slowly down the corridor, the other arm raised ever so slightly, finger trailing the wall. She's not sure if she's doing it to steady herself or to occupy her hand, to stop it from doing something else. Like finding one of Harvey's and taking it in her own.

Harvey, tie loosened, falls back ever so slightly to walk behind her, telling himself it's so he's ready to catch her if she were to stumble. But he can't help but feel enamoured with the sight before him. He can't help but smile as he watches her careful footsteps, trying - and failing - to walk in a straight line. But his smile turns into something else as he fully takes in the scene before him, letting out a low whistle as he watches her slender body move, the depths of her back exposed.

Donna doesn't stop moving but turns her head ever so slightly at his whistle. And the sight of her looking over her shoulder, head dipped low and eyes dark and full…it's enough to undo Harvey right there.

Us two in the hallway

Saying things you shouldn't say to me

"Everything okay?" Her voice low.

"I just…" Harvey gulps as he steps towards her, mind rendered blank at the sight of her. "Did I tell you how stunning you look in this dress?"

And what a masterpiece you'd look out of it… His mind supplements his thoughts with memories of her body from all those years ago and he can almost remember her taste, the feeling of her soft skin as she came undone around him.

Donna doesn't say anything until they come to a stop outside of her room. They don't know if it's the alcohol, or the lack of sleep or the occasion, but something has been building between them all evening and they can both see the want and desire reflected in the others eyes. Neither wanting to let the evening go, to let each other go.

"Nightcap?" If her voice was low before, it's downright husky now.

Harvey shrugs a shoulder, trying to act indifferent at the suggestion. He doesn't say yes with words, just opens the door and enters the room, with her now close behind. Donna's about to say something as she crosses the threshold but it dies in her mouth when Harvey turns, propelling himself to her and closing the door with the thud of her body between it and him.

It's like we're sitting on dynamite

As soon as her body hits the door, it's like an explosion has been set off between them. Their mouths and tongues furiously battle each other, screaming in a language of their own, one they thought was near extinct. It's passion and heat mixed with longing, familiarity and everything that's been years in the making.

Donna drops her heels to the floor, bringing one hand to gently pull Harvey, by the tie against her. While the other begins a journey down his back and over his ass, kneading and pressing him into her. Harvey's own hands are tangled in her hair, making a mess of the intricate plait she'd spent an hour perfecting. But if someone was going to ruin her tonight, it was always going to be him.

Donna can barely feel the door handle digging into her back, not when Harvey is grinding against her front. The added pressure from behind sending her into a near delirious daze. She's not sure she could feel closer to the edge until he pulls and gently hooks one of her legs around his waist. They both let out a moan at the new angle, as they begin to rub and grind into each other, the clothes between them creating a friction that stimulates them both.

They're chaotic and sloppy, fuelled by lust and hindered by the alcohol cursing through their veins. The rubbing and grinding has evolved into hectic thrusts and they both let out moans as they pulse against each other. Donna's hands abandon their efforts to undo his tie, moving to pull his shirt out of his pants as his lips continue their assault on her neck.

But we're not ready to start a fight

Is it too late to figure it out?

It's when her cold hands, in search of the taunt muscles of his stomach, slip under his shirt and meet his warm skin that they both freeze. That small action causing them to crash back down to reality. Harvey's a lawyer, he'd argue to anyone they haven't done more than kiss - heavy kissing - but kissing nonetheless. This, her hand seeking permission for more, it's putting them in a situation they haven't been in for over a decade.

Harvey stops his assault on her neck, mouth open and breathing heavily against her skin. They're frozen against the door, the sounds of their heavy panting filling the room. His head falls forward, his forehead resting just above her shoulder against the door. Donna's brought her own hands up to his shoulders, not sure if she's steadying herself or preparing to be the one to push him away. Her own head falls back against the door, next to Harvey's, and he has to squeeze his eyes shut as the new position has exposed more of her long, slender neck.

"Not like this…"

They both nod, despite only one of them saying it. Because they both know that if they were to do this again, then it couldn't just be a one time thing. They wouldn't be able to forget about it and ignore it, they're not young anymore, not like the other time. Too much has happened between them for sex to no longer just mean a night of simple fun. It means more to both of them this time round. And if they were to do this, then it's not going to be because they're buzzed and sleep deprived and fulfilling a best man-maid of honor wedding stereotype. Even if they don't know what they are, or how they can define who they are to each other, both Donna and Harvey know they're more than that.

Just say you're ready

"I know…"

Harvey finally lets go of her leg from his waist and it drops to the floor with a thud, another metaphor for their heavy decision. He doesn't remove his hands from her, and neither does she hers on him. But when he slowly raises his head and meets her gaze, her eyes are soft, glazed.

"Stay?" She whispers and he just nods in return, clasping her hand in his as he leads them over to her bed.

They don't bother changing, both too charged up and spent at the same time, moving as if on autopilot to lie down on the bed. It's so raw and open, how exposed they are as they lie facing each other, despite the distance between them in the bed. Their eyes, silently communicating with looks in lieu of words.

Harvey recognises the shimmer in Donna's eyes, not from lack of sleep, but from the realisation of what had just happened and what they nearly did. They haven't been on the same page a lot throughout their relationship, but now, they both seem to be in agreement that this isn't a no, nothing will never happen again between them. But that once again, time isn't on their side. It's another pause in their long story.

"We need to sleep…"

Is it too late to figure it out?

'cause I've been wondering

Harvey wakes up not that long later and it's nothing like the movies, she's not wrapped around him or he her, their legs aren't intertwined and she's not resting her head on his chest. Even in their sleep, they managed to respect the boundaries they'd established the night before, both still facing each other but lying apart. Except for their hands, resting between them. It's the only physical connection they have right now, her smaller fingers gently clasping a few of his own.

He thinks that he could stay, hold her until she wakes up and see where they can go from there. But he doesn't. When Harvey's halfway out the door, he glances back into the room. Eyes travelling the lengths of her sleeping form, memorising the curves of her body, how the sun streaks through the blinds and illuminates her fiery hair.

When Donna wakes to an empty bed and a fuzzy head, she's not sure if Harvey had even been in her room the night before or if her mind had created yet another fantasy for her. She gets up slowly, padding into the bathroom to start a shower. It's not until she sees her reflection, messy hair, bruised lips and the mark on her neck, that she knows last night wasn't a dream at all.

Stuck in emotions and I don't know what they mean

Keep thinking about us and how things get in-between

The next time they see each other, they're at the firm the following week, and neither mentions the night of near weakness. They don't ponder the what ifs, what if they hadn't have stopped, what if they were together now. Or if they do, they don't share it with the other. Everything is filed away in their minds, in the same space the other time occupies.

But something does change between them. They fall quickly into a comfortable back and forth of flirtatious banter, reminiscent of their early days at the DA's office, or the early years at the firm. The flirting is so loud that Donna's surprised no one else has really noticed or questioned it.

Harvey, emboldened by something, alludes to the other time out loud in his open office, where just about anyone could walk in and hear. And Donna, intrigued by his brazenness, bites down on her lip in an attempt to prevent a grin from spreading across her soft features, as vivid memories of that night, of strawberries and whipped cream, and rolling in and between the sheets, fill her mind.

She can't even properly admonish him, not when he looks at her with that cheeky grin and the realisation hits her that he's still holding onto the memory of that night just as she is. And the flame of hope that she thought had died within her, sparks.

But if it is love, it doesn't matter

You don't belong to me

It doesn't go anywhere more than flirting. They've fallen betwixt and between the prelude to a relationship, a new chapter in their story that neither seems ready to turn the page over to. Trapped in this relationship of loving each other but not knowing how they can progress or knowing who should be the one to make the first move. Donna waits for him to suggest there's something more, something real, hidden between his flirting; while Harvey tries to decide if he's finally excluded from her rule.

He musters up the courage, stopping her at the elevators in the firm one evening, ready to ask her out on a date. But before he can, Thomas Kessler appears at her side, and he finds himself watching her leave without him, with the other man at her side. And he supposes that whatever he thought he'd felt between them, she didn't feel it, especially as she seemed to be able to break her rule time and time again for every man but him.

Harvey resolves himself in misery, unsure why he feels so hurt and surprised by her actions, especially as he's the one who has walked away from her so many times. Even that night in the hotel room, he stopped them from going any further. And worse, he'd left before she'd even woken up.

But I can't let go

It turns out, neither have truly walked away from any idea of them and each other. Harvey makes the first move, going to Thomas to plead with him for his help to save her. That action planting a seed of doubt in Thomas' mind, that Donna means something more to Harvey. And Thomas has to know if the feeling is reciprocated.

"Who is he to you?"

As Thomas waits expectantly for an answer, Donna realises that she's forever going to hold onto a hope inside of her. That even if he doesn't know how to explain it, Harvey is always going to choose her and she will never be able to let him go, to move on from him.

"He's just someone I don't know how to cut out of me."

Now she's said it, Donna isn't sure if she ever really wants to try or, more importantly, if it's even her choice at all. So she stops pretending to herself that it could ever be possible, that she and Harvey aren't tied together by some invisible thread. She doesn't end her relationship with Thomas in so many words, but as she watches him walk out of her apartment, she knows he knows she could never feel for him what she feels for Harvey.

.

.

When Harvey ends up in her bed again, over a decade after their first time, it's not the sounds of their moans that Donna wants to hear all through the night. She doesn't ask him to bring her to a climax - though he sure does - multiple times. It's the sound of him whispering 'I love you' in her ear that she asks for, over and over. And he happily obliges, because this, this is how their next time was supposed to be, ending with him falling asleep in her arms, his head resting just above her heart and a future, not uncertainty, ahead of them.


Thanks for reading!