Chapter 64 / Wraith
July 28th, 2012 / Time Unknown
TV World
KANA'S POINT OF VIEW
Shadow after Shadow... it had been an unrelenting wave of oppression ever since I had stepped foot in the TV world. And yet I hadn't come across anyone else along the way. Just what is this place? I was already breathing heavily after having fought over a dozen powerful Shadows on my own. And it was getting harder to fight each time as my Persona, Eurydice, was not exactly best at enduring multiple fights without support. If it hadn't been for the training Mitsuru had made me do for the Shadow Operatives I would have likely already been too tired to keep fighting. Even still, this was still too many battles for me to keep going.
Kayane, are you okay? Have you been haunted by the past all this time? If there is one thing that I can relate to, it is being isolated with only memories of the past to keep you company. You already know that I was once just a Shadow. A collective of gathered Shadows by the old Kirijo Group. I was sent to a facility in a small town of Inoto for an experiment. I didn't have a conscience or thought. As a Shadow I was just a remnant, a whisper of someone's desire or emotion that they wished to hide. For the purpose of the experiment that was being conducted they fused several Shadows together that would eventually form and meld to become who I am now. And then trapped that fusion of Shadow into an enclosed cell with the subject of their experiment. Takahashi Hamuko.
The goal of the experiment was to force Hamuko to develop the ability to use Persona through exposure to Shadows. But her reaction to the fused Shadow was abnormal among the rest of their test subjects for two reasons. One, Hamuko was not afraid of the Shadow. Second,, the Shadow did not desire to attack Hamuko. It was an anomaly that went against what they had previously observed in all other test subjects in the past. With their curiosity piqued, they continued to bring the Shadow and the young human girl together. It was because of this that I became who I am. Because Hamuko treated the fused Shadows as a friend, a beloved playmate. She didn't have anyone, and she didn't have the fear that others her age exhibited. She would talk for hours with the Shadow. Her dreams of life, love and the adventures she craved to go on. That mass of Shadows began to have a wish, a dream of its own.
But those times of bliss were interrupted by the ones who wanted results. When the continued interactions between the girl and the Shadow did not appear to net any visible results related to the creation of the Persona they began to introduce a new factor to the situation. Pain. They would strap Hamuko to the tower and subject her to a number of painful things. And they would do so in a place where the Shadow could see and hear her. Screams of pain, tears of sorrow. Hamuko didn't know why they tortured her so. She would be returned to her holding cell... exhausted from the hours of torture. Bandaged from the wounds they inflicted on her. She would collapse on the slab that she called her bed. And the Shadow would be brought in. They no doubt observed this reaction. But again, it was not what they desired.
Why was she hurt? She looked so vulnerable. The fused Shadow looked over the girl at first confused. But as day after day the scene repeated the Shadow began to develop a foreign and first conscious thought. How do I help her? The Shadow was initially confused at its own ability to think for itself. However, thoughts were focused and concerned for the well being of the one that showed such familiarity and comfort to a mere Shadow. And then something happened.
"You're always here for me, aren't you?" Takahashi Hamuko coughed and yet forced herself to sit up. The young girl still smiled looking at the Shadow that was next to her, concerned for her health. "All this time I've never been sure what to call you. You don't have a name, do you? Oh, I know. From now on, I'll call you, Kana. Sound good, Kana-chan?"
A mere collection of Shadows, fused for an experiment was given something more valuable than anything. The Shadow had now had a name, something to call itself. A true identity... an ego began to truly form because of this reason. I'm sure the researchers were surprised by such an interaction but had no way of knowing the repercussions of Hamuko's actions. Nor would they have the time to find out. Miles away were the events also caused by the Kirijo Group. The chaos was due to the birth of the Dark Hour. Shadows became wild, and the ones within the facility went out of control. All except me. It was the opposite. I, who had been given the name Kana, had finally seen a chance to do something for Takahashi Hamuko. The cell that imprisoned her had opened, and using that chance I ran with Hamuko. But the exit was blocked. They were going to capture her. Take her under their custody. She would never live the life she wanted.
I didn't want that. I didn't want her to go back there. I didn't want her to be hurt anymore. It was these thoughts that overwhelmed me, that broke through a veil that a Shadow had never crossed before that point. As a Shadow, I took the physical embodiment of the one whom I thought was the strongest and as well the one I wanted to protect. I became a physical copy of Takahashi Hamuko, with the singular difference of golden eyes. The mark of a Shadow.
I told Hamuko to run. I rushed out, drawing the attention of those men and clearing the exit. I smiled as I watched her climb the stairs out of the facility and I kept them all busy as long as possible. When they finally caught me, they realized too late after they had caught me that I was not the real Takahashi, and that I was but a mere Shadow. I was confined to the room where Hamuko was held for all this time. And I accepted my place and life. It was a reasonable price for Hamuko's safety. One day there was a commotion, but within the confines of that room I had no way of knowing. I was a Shadow still. Despite my development of an ego I was still only halfway there. So I was forgotten. I would find out later that the surviving members of that research team were forced to dissolve and the facility sealed. As a Shadow I was condemned to die, like the other Shadows in that place. Even if I had the form of Hamuko, I did not have any need for food or water, and as such I was not deemed a real life, just an object of a failed experiment.
I was there alone in that room for over ten years. Left with only memories of my time with the one that defined me. Takahashi Hamuko. Had she gotten away? Was she safe? What was her life like? Was she happy? I had only seen her smile a handful of times when I was with her. She told me she had been happy with me. But my life shouldn't even be. No, it had been better if she had never met me. Had never been forced to suffer because of the greed and power hungry fools that used her for their own gain. Those were the thoughts that stuck with me day in and day out, twisting my own mind and existence because I was between that of a Shadow and a true life. I was in that place in complete solitude, only with my thoughts to keep me company. Someone who didn't believe they had a right to live. I wanted to blame myself for the suffering Hamuko endured. I wanted to be punished. That's why I feel like I can understand you, Ikakure Kayane. The thoughts you held in your heart, the pain and the regret for actions you couldn't take to protect who you cherished. I had no way of knowing if I had saved Hamuko. Just as you, Kayane, had no idea of knowing what Fujikara Miyuki was thinking in her last moments. That's the truth isn't it? Ever since that moment, time and life has ceased to have real meaning.
How could I not understand such a plight, when I had started my existence. I didn't have a reason. Hamuko gave me that. The pain you felt then when you lost her must have shattered your view of the world when you were believing you had found a reason to go forward. Having that taken from you was devastating. There were no words that could ever hope to describe such hopelessness and sorrow. Even fewer could ever hope to truly understand it.
I am lucky. Hamuko did escape, she lived life without knowing the ugliness of the world because of my actions that sealed her memories of the time in that facility. My questions had finally been answered. But Kayane, he was still searching, still trapped by questions he could never have answered. And I wasn't about to let a being like Nyarlathotep take advantage of that pain of his.
The world around me was blanketed in white, like snow covering an unending field. I came to a stop as the appearance of Kayane stood in front of me. But it wasn't the real one, the golden eyes betrayed its true nature. It tilted its head towards me. "More, more, more... I need more. Give me your pain... give me your hatred. Hate me, hate yourself. More, more, more!"
The constant fighting I had gone through had likely been fragments of this Shadow. I could feel it. Despite my weariness from the constant battles I spun my whip sword and collapsed it into the form of a blade from that of a whip. I held it in front of me for a moment. "Why? Why do you seek to take all of this for yourself?"
"To relieve you of your pain. If I can take the worries, sins and hatred on as my own, then they themselves can be free. For that, I shall consume them all! I am a Shadow, the true self. I am a reflection of Kayane's sin of gluttony. I will not allow those that deserve to move forward to be weighed down like myself! So I will eat them and make them my own," The Shadow of Kayane materialized a pair of sickles, connected by a chain. The weapons of the real Kayane.
"Gluttony? I suppose the form of sin comes in all forms," I shifted my feet, ready to spring forward. "And yet, we live with our own hopes and desires. And oftentimes those come heavy with the thoughts of injustices against ourselves and those we care for. But it is not a burden for you alone to bear."
"And what gives a mere Shadow like yourself to speak like such an authority for such things?" The Shadow glared. "What gives you the right?"
"It isn't my right. But neither is it yours or anyone else. We all have the ability to choose our own fate. Do you truly believe you are capable of taking other people's pain and hatred? Do you think that is actually possible? Because it isn't. No matter how much you try to take in. You can't make things disappear! Don't try to hold them all on your own. You need to accept them and overcome them! Don't hoard them and try to bear the weight of that pain forever. Everyone deserves a chance to be happy. Especially you, Kayane. Miyuki risked it all to give you the chance for that. And if I need to risk my own life to help make that a reality, then I will," I readied myself.
The Shadow then hurled a sickle at my direction and I hopped to my right to dodge it but then settled my feet and jumped, moving into a backflip as the sickle that had gone past me was now swinging through the space I had just occupied as the Shadow leveraged the chain to make wide arc attacks. Just as it finished with one it shifted and tossed the other sickle to continue its attack. The problem with this was that I could only continue to dodge and wasn't given a moment to get my footing. It didn't help that I was so exhausted and my body was moving more on instinct right now. I needed to change who had the upper hand.
I solidified my stance as another attack came towards me. I swung my sword early, and then allowed it to become a whip. The blade extended out, the range more than triple what it was, and it was this timing that allowed me to change the flow of combat. Hitting the incoming sickle caught the Shadow by surprise. Before it could recover an Arcana card appeared before me.
"Eurydice!" I yelled and summoned her before the Shadow could resume its attack. I released an ice attack that sprung up and wrapped around the incoming sickle, encasing it in ice. Using this I rushed forward at the Shadow. He couldn't pull the sickle free from the ice as I swung the whipsword down towards him. It hit him, cutting into his shoulder. But then he did something I hadn't expected. He grabbed the blade in his shoulder, and although it cut his hand he didn't even flinch, and instead yanked me forward. Pulling me with a sudden burst of strength. with his other hand he held the other sickle. I was in the air going straight towards him. There was no way I could avoid him but instead I summoned Eurydice once more and instead used it to break my whipsword free from the Shadow and then halt myself. I hit the ground and lost the grip on my weapon. And I tumbled, rolling away.
The fatigue was hitting me all at once. The Shadow was already attacking again. I held my hand out and smashed the arcana card to summon my Persona once more and diverted the attack, and then followed up with a wide area attack, forcing the Shadow to retreat back. But my vision started to blur. I didn't have enough energy to continue summoning my Persona. I was out of any energy to fight... and yet...
I pushed myself back to my feet, my muscles now crying out in protest as I did so. My weapon was out of reach. But there was too much at stake. I guess the hoards of Shadows I had fought and defeated to get here might have been the plan of this Shadow the whole time. If I'm the only one here then it was up to me to defeat the Shadow, one way or another.
I don't know why but thoughts of my first real interaction with Kayane flooded me. It was after we had met on that acting job. Hamuko asked him to help pick out a dress for me. I just remembered how embarrassed I had been. But it became a good memory.
"Stop fussing and come on, let's show Ikakure," Hamuko said a moment before pulling open the curtain that revealed me.
Kayane's eyes widened as he looked at me in my dress. My cheeks were turning red as I felt his eyes on me. Hamuko made me spin to show off the dress. The dress was a low cut and Hamuko described it as a means to emphasize my curves. It was a dress someone like me who was doing modeling as a job would be expected. So many people had told me I was attractive and yet it was their job to tell me that, right? This crimson dress hugged my body and yet it felt so comfortable and natural. I could only hope that Kayane liked it and...
"It's... stunning," Kayane spoke up for a moment and seemed to quickly regain his composure. "And this is before you do anything else to go with it."
"So what's your favorite part?" Hamuko moved around to my side and grabbed my shoulders. I blinked unsure how to react to Kayane's words.
"You want my brutal honest reaction. And my girlfriend not being around to hear it," Kayane deadpanned as he let out a sigh. But he looked up and his eyes met mine. I averted mine to the ground feeling the heat return to my cheeks.
"I want Kana to hear it. This is for her benefit," Hamuko said. "I want her to hear the truth from someone she doesn't know."
I looked back up at him and felt a nervousness inside me build, and yet I wanted to hear what he had to say about this dress.
"You look incredibly sexy. Your curves are brilliantly shown and I could not stop myself from looking at you top to bottom. You are exceptionally beautiful," Kayane didn't look away as he said it.
My face had to have turned into the brightest red color and found it hard to say anything, "I... umm..."
"Come on, Kana. What should you say?" Hamuko prodded me.
"Um... Thank You, Ikakure-san," I gave a bow to him and kept my eyes at the ground. I tried to get my blushing under control. Hamuko started to laugh.
"Sure," Kayane said, looking at Hamuko. "I think I understand why you wanted me here."
Hamuko nodded, "Thanks for your help. I think I'll put her in something a bit more sensible and not something that is so flashy. But Kana, just so you know not everyone is going to be as respectful as Ikakure. It's something you haven't realized or not aware of. But you are immensely attractive. People look at you, just like he is. You need to know that likely a lot of people will be looking at you at this function. You hear this all the time in your modeling job but you somehow managed to separate the compliments you get as it just being a part of their job and them not actually meaning it. You are everything they say you are and so much more."
I blinked and wiped away a tear, "But if I am, then you're the same. I only look like this because of you. It's you they should be looking at and not..."
Hamuko's smile turned into irritation, "Stop this, right now."
"Takahashi-san," Kayane had moved forward as well. "You're twin sisters but this is your body. You should be proud of how you look, because this is you. Think about the fact that you've dyed your hair black and your golden eyes. These are very distinct traits that are yours. You may share striking similarities to your sister but at the same time no one ever mistakes you for her. Your beauty, or to be frank, what makes you attractive, is you as a whole. Just as what makes your sister attractive is markedly her own traits."
"Thanks, Ikakure. Also, please call me Hamuko," my sister grinned. She had invited him for my sake, because I doubted my own value. And Kayane had taken some of his own time to help.
It was silly for me to be so doubtful of my own ability. My life was in itself an impossibility. A gift to be able to live as a human. To be considered a sister to the one I treasured above all others. I knew what she wanted. She wanted me to grow into my own, to be more independent and also to think of myself as a person. I should follow my sisters lead, "Oh yes, you can call me Kana too."
It was not an easy lesson to learn. But that was part of living. We all are responsible for ourselves. No one else can determine if we are happy or not with our lives. But perhaps this form of Kayane... the gluttony, existed for another reason. Taking everyone's pain upon himself. Attempting to relieve it... Was that a power that anyone could have? I wasn't convinced of that at all.
The Shadow threw the sickle at me again. But this time I didn't dodge as wide as I had before. Instead I side stepped it and then reached out and grabbed the chain and yanked it hard towards me. It was enough to pull the Shadow off balance, nearly making him fall to the ground. I jumped forward, letting go of the chain and brought my chain sword around to attack, this time connected directly with the Shadow as I then narrowed the distance and quickly solidified my stance before connecting a powerful kick to the Shadows midsection. I then swung my sword once more, hoping to finish him, but he reached up and grabbed the sword directly.
In a swift moment, the Shadow punched me with a free hand, knocking the wind out of me and then tossed me away as if I weighed nothing. I wasn't sure how much more of this fight I could take. I tried to catch my breath and get to my feet, but I knew I could only manage to summon Eurydice only once or twice more. And the exertion of dodging incoming attacks was getting harder each time.
"Why do you struggle?" The Shadow asked, halting its attack. It was clear it was confident it could finish me when it wanted. "Why should you, who barely knows me, risk your life for a potentially fruitless endeavor?"
"Do I have to have a reason?" I countered and took the moment to take a deep breath. "Just as you seek to devour the sorrow and pain of other people's sins. I will help make you whole again."
The Shadow of Kayane took a more relaxed stance, "The best of intentions, thinking you'll help me? Do you know how many have claimed to want to help me in my life? But you see, they all had a reason. I was the victim of abuse, and a witness to sexual assault of my childhood friend. And my adopted Mother took me to a specialist to try and help me cope and conquer it. And none of them actually cared to help me. I didn't want to be that. I would help people, relieve them of that pain by taking it upon myself. I can handle it. I've had to endure it my whole life. And you believe you can help me?"
"Yes," I said resolutely. "But it isn't just me. You're surrounded now by people that love you. You have Rise, after all. She loves you. If anyone knows that best... it's you."
The Shadow stops moving completely at the mention of Rise's name. A few long seconds pass before he turns towards me fully. "Kujikawa Rise, she's the one that made this happen. No, that isn't right."
"She would never hurt you. She's only ever wanted to help you, and love you," I quickly said.
"You're right," The Shadow nodded. "He was there. I had decided to open myself up. To allow myself to fall for her. But awakening from that coma, it wasn't just me there anymore. Over time... subtle things changed in my outlook. And always a sliver of doubt. That was Nyarlathotep. But I've lived a life of self hatred and doubt. I never noticed that those thoughts weren't really my own. But it is also an indicator of the strength of the enemy you have to face. That is why I can't simply hand over the shard of my Persona to you."
"K-Kayane!?" I blinked in surprise.
"You knew it was me the whole time. I am a Shadow, but I am also a part of his Persona, and as the saying goes. I am thou, and thou art I. I am both Kayane and also not because I'm not whole. And his desires are clear. But I don't think I have to tell you what they are," The Shadow brought up both the sickles to his hands. "You understand the loneliness and doubt that comes from a past you wish you could change. After all, you wonder what Hamuko's life would be like if you had managed to escape with her. Could you have protected her without locking her powers away? Did your choice end up preventing Hamuko from meeting her brother? These are the thoughts that haunt you every day. Things that you have hidden from the others."
I felt my resolve falter at those words. Things I had never said out loud or even gave myself the chance to admit to myself. In my time in isolation I had always doubted my choices. But my capabilities for thought were limited then. I had barely developed my own ego. And it wasn't until I met Hamuko again when I would awaken to my Persona and truly become my own being. All of those reasons just felt like excuses to justify the decision I made then. I had sealed her powers of Persona. What if I hadn't? What if she had instead awakened to her true powers as a Persona user? I had unknowingly altered her future. Because I thought if her powers were sealed she would be useless to them, and that they would abandon her and allow her to be free. I had been so consumed by the thought of saving her from the situation and the torture than thinking of anything else. I didn't understand or know what the outside world was like. My knowledge was limited to everything that happened in that lab. I just wanted to protect Hamuko. But what had my ignorance cost her?
"I was ignorant, barely capable of making my own decisions. I knew nothing about how the world worked or even the situation that Hamuko was in. I just wanted to save her. I was but a child trying to out think knowledgeable adults. Hamuko got free, but it wasn't until years later after meeting with her once more that I would learn the truth as well as fully develop my own ego by awakening to my own Persona. Hamuko would have been released by them due to the incident creating the Dark Hour. The change of leadership to the Kirijo Group led to the halt of any of such experiments. But I was a mere Shadow, who had no knowledge of how human society works. Even still, I can't help but feel there might have been a better solution for Hamuko..." I admitted to the Shadow. "I don't think there was anything I could do. The truth was, I was nothing but a simplistic and idiotic Shadow that thought they could save a human girl."
"Then you do understand. The desire to take all those thoughts upon yourself. To ensure that those you care for do not suffer. That is why I will take upon even your sins!" The Shadow then attacked once more. A sickle flying towards me. The brief reprieve was enough to at least let me catch my breath, allowing me to respond. I sidestepped and then poured my strength into hitting the sickle away. With the help of Eurydice, I sent the sickle flying, causing the Shadow to be pulled off balance and lose grip of the chain. Somehow not expecting my tactic.
I couldn't sustain a long battle, so I took a gamble and poured everything into this attack, "God's Hand!" I yelled as my Persona slammed the attack down onto Shadow Kayane. It smashed him into the ground and he stopped moving. I let out a breath but kept my guard up. "No matter what, I won't let him handle it alone. And neither will the rest of his friends. I know Rise won't ever give up on him. And isn't going to let him take all these sins for himself. Not anymore."
The Shadow coughed, but smiled, "You're probably right. In that case... take my shard to Rise. I'm sure she'll know what to do. And good luck to you Kana-chan. Know that you also don't need to handle such a burden alone."
The Shadow disappeared and instead an ice blue crystal replaced him. I picked it up and despite it's cold appearance it had a familiar and comfortable feeling to it. This was likely a shard of his Persona.
I took a few deep breaths as the environment shifted around me. I found myself in a new place... but I was greeted by familiar faces.
"Kana-san," it was Amagi Yukiko.
"It's good to see you safe," Narukami Yu was smiling next to her. The two were next to the unconscious body of Kayane.
"Is that really him?" I asked.
Yu nodded, "Yeah, and don't worry he's alright. You look like you've got another of his shards." He held up a shard of his own.
"Where is Rise?" I asked, not sure I should trust anything right now.
"Kay-chan!" someone ran past me and towards the unconscious form of Kayane. It was Setsuko but followed closely by Labrys.
"His vitals are stable. This is no doubt the real Kayane," Labrys quickly assured her.
"Hey partner," Hanamura Yosuke, followed by Satonaka Chie, came by me and approached Yu and Yukiko. "Looks like that brings our Persona shards up to three."
"You guys got one too?" I saw that Setsuko had it in her hand while looking over her brother.
"Al we can do is wait for the others," Chie commented.
"Let's hope the others are all alright," Yukiko added.
Where was Hamuko? Where was Rise? If my experience with the Shadow had been an indicator then it no doubt had to be harder for them. Plus, if Nyarlathotep wasn't to be found here... that could only mean trouble for the others.
RISE'S POINT OF VIEW
The image of myself bound to Kayane, twisted and deformed to represent lust towards me. Lust. I think under normal circumstances this might be something that even as his girlfriend I wouldn't want to see. At least maybe if it was me from a year ago. It wasn't like I had ever dated anyone before Kayane. I thought I had been in love with Yu. But I had zero experience, I wasn't sure what I had felt. Only that there were new emotions I had never felt because of my new friends that accepted me. Who knows what it would have been like if Yu and Yukiko hadn't been dating. What would have happened when I eventually met Kayane? I suppose it wasn't worth the time considering that kind of hypothetical situation. Without a doubt, my interactions with Kayane had been markedly different.
I think there are a lot of easy differences that can be noted even to an outside observer. I was a known commodity, not as Kujikawa Rise but as the popular idol named Risette. I was an actress, a model, and a singer. The subject of rumors and a highly sought after commodity in the eyes of the public and media. Then I left on an announced hiatus for an undetermined amount of time. That was what was announced instead of the truth. That I had quit the industry entirely. The opposite of me was Ikakure Kayane, the son of a well known music Producer that was respected in the industry. And Kayane himself was known as a victim of abuse in his past. Something that anyone could find out with his name. But he knew me, was a fan of my music. And yet our interactions were not what I would expect, or what even the others expected.
Yu-senpai had put the effort to connect the two of us when he knew both sides of this. Kayane had every track of music I had ever released. I thought with how much of a fan he had been of mine that I would be able to make him feel more comfortable with the group. Of course learning that he could not only play the piano but sing himself had definitely intrigued me. But he notably kept his distance from me. I just hadn't realized he was doing it at the time.
Nothing could prepare me for the moment I heard him sing. It was as if his voice pierced through any walls I had and caressed my very soul. It wrapped around me and awakened something within me that I couldn't explain. Impulsively I asked him to perform with me for the culture festival. But after I heard him sing then I needed, more than anything to sing with him. It was a desire that had to be fulfilled. I had no idea what I was getting myself into. It was clear that Kayane kept his distance, avoiding physical interaction, although I had attempted to instigate those situations. Sitting next to him, asking for bites from his lunch. Casually grabbing his arm in as natural a way as possible, but these things made him uncomfortable. I knew about his past but I had no understanding on what kind of long term effects that abuse can have on someone.
I wanted to get through to him, to get his attention. So one night I dressed up in a gothic lolita black dress, a style I thought might appeal to him and showed up at his place when we were practicing for the culture festival performance. It definitely grabbed him, and I couldn't help but enjoy the thrill I got when his eyes looked over me from top to bottom. I had originally brought the dress to support him, to tell him I wanted him to dress as he wanted so that he would be comfortable. That the performance was more for us than it was for the people that would watch us. It was definitely that night where I felt the full rush and truth of my attraction to him. I remembered that practice session vividly. As I sang I watched him. Watched as he tried not to steal glances at me, but he did, often looking to my legs and chest. Where my cleavage was emphasized due to the dress being a partial corset. I wanted him to look at me, to comment on the dress. To have his full and undivided attention. I didn't even understand why I wanted it until that night of the thunder storm. I ended up staying the night at Kayane's place.
That was the night I realized that I lusted after Kayane.
"Kayane," I whispered...seeing how it felt rolling off my tongue. My thoughts were overwhelmed by images of him...seeing him at the piano playing my song as I entered the studio... more than that... seeing the look on his face when he saw my outfit. I wanted to see more... I wanted him to look at me more... and here I was... at his house... going to be staying overnight in just the room next to him. A moan escaped my lips which made me spring up from where I had been laying back and shake my head. "Oh my God... what am I doing?"
Yeah, alone with thoughts of him in a candlelit bathroom due to the power outage. It was honestly surprising just how much I found myself attracted to him. How I wanted him to touch me, to get close to me. These were things that I would never seek or want from a fan. But I never saw Kayane as a fan, and he never really acted like what I would expect from a fan. He was surprised when he found out who I was. But our interactions had been more about the circumstances of our meeting. The TV World, Shadows, Persona, and the truth of what he had experienced as a kid. The more I learned, the deeper and more attracted I had been to him. I realized after our performance in the culture festival that Kayane had much deeper seated problems than I knew. And it just made me want to know even more about him.
How was I supposed to know what I was getting myself into? I had no experience with love, with guys. And to make it more difficult, Kayane was far from normal. But being with him, talking with him made me smile. I couldn't help but feel lighter, happier when I was with him. Sure he was gruff and distant but he was intelligent, could keep up with any subject I talked about and really listened to me. He wasn't just nodding his head and acting like he was paying attention. The only time the conversation would come to a stop is when the conversation became about him. And that just made me want to ask even more questions.
He just continued to pull me in more, day after day. Strangely his reluctance to tell me anything about himself was what drew me in more. It was frustrating and exciting at the same time. What a pair we must make to have such a relationship. I was willing to take all the time we needed to learn about each other and get closer. But our lives never allowed for that. Pulled by a combination of both our desires but then we had other more pressing concerns when it came to the Midnight Channel.
Now this Shadow that claimed to be a representation of Kayane's lust was being influenced by the fake Shadow of myself. All thanks to that Nyarlathotep. I needed to defeat to claim Kayane's Persona shard, and I don't think I was going to get any help. Kouzeon's senses seemed to be blocked. But right now it was Inahime that was keeping me alive and capable of matching the Shadow blow for blow. The myriad of skills that my Persona held allowed me to keep up and counter a wider range of attacks that normally would be impossible. This power was because of my desire to get stronger, to be able to be the one capable of saving Kayane. No,to protect him, to be the support he needed. I needed to be stronger.
Strange how life had changed. For so long I felt like I never had the support. It was why I originally quit being an idol. I was just alone on a stage. People looked at me, wanted to see me and be entertained by me. But there was no one there to listen to me, to stand at my side when I needed it. But I gained that coming to Inaba. I had to be kidnapped and have my life in danger to acquire it but the result was I had friends that truly cared about me. And I now had Kayane. Even with all we've had to deal with I knew I was in love with him. And I knew he loved me. But to think he had this being Nyarlathotep trying to use him to gain his power, that he hasn't been able to truly begin to heal because of some outside force... it angered me beyond what I could verbalize. That was why I was going to use Inahime to show just how committed I was to this.
"RISE!" The Shadow yelled as it unleashed an attack. Chains came out in many directions from the Shadow and then homed in on me. I stood my ground as I readied a counter.
"Vorpal Blade!" I said as Inahime unleashed a bladed attack and hit all the incoming chains out of the way. I tightened my grip on my batons as I charged forward. Every second was too long. I needed to get to Kayane. So I would collect these shards of his persona as soon as I could. Having a moment to breath, I used the moment to charge my next attack and released a charged Ziodyne attack. The Shadow was hit by it but seemed to shrug it off. Okay, strong to lightning. I quickly released a charged Agidyne, then Bufudyne, and lastly Garudyne. No he was strong to all of them. The Shadow seemed to be resistant to all of them. I needed to switch it up.
"Fine then," I pulled out a card in front of myself. A skill card, this one held a skill I had only seen Yu use before. Megidolaon was a magical spell that couldn't be resisted. "Replacing Agidyne." The card disappeared into me as I felt the skill in Inahime change with the cards effect.
"You belong to me, RISE!" The Shadow proclaimed. Sending those chains towards me again. I used my batons to swat them away and barely dodged them. But it was enough to give me time to charge this attack.
"Kayane is the only one in this life I would ever allow to make that claim. To have him so confidently say something like that, is a desire of mine. But you are but a piece of him. And just as I would allow him to claim me... I do the same for him. Kayane is mine! Not something to be used by others! I will not allow anyone to use him, ever again! Inahime! Megidolaon!" I unleashed the powerful spell, if slammed down at an unbelievable speed. Then its power pushed me back, I barely kept my place with the help of Inahime stabilized me. This time it was more than enough power.
The two Shadows that made up the entity were forced to split. The fake Shadow of myself and the Shadow of Kayane that represented his lust. He approached me with what seemed to be an amused look, "Rise, did it ever seem to you that I wasn't physically attracted to you?"
I shook my head, "Were you worried about what I thought? I told you before, didn't I? I would wait for as long as you needed. Plus, I think that time we were in my room is all the evidence I need of your physical desire for me. But you know that isn't important. It's just one part of the whole. Not just of yourself, but our relationship. Our future."
"Our future, huh? I'm looking forward to it," he said as he took my hand and then a crystal formed on my palm. It had a soothing feeling. Maybe because it was Kayane's Persona. The Shadow disappeared and I closed my eyes and for a brief moment it felt as if Kayane had put his arms around me. When I opened my eyes again the place around me changed, and it was as if I was standing on a stage. No, this was like the studio in Kayane's home.
The fake Shadow Rise jumped towards me, reaching for the crystal in my palm, but Inahime stopped her. My Persona standing, intimidating the fake me and protecting me.
"You think you can cure that twisted heart of his? That you'll ever truly make him happy?" She spat at me in frustration.
I couldn't help myself and laughed, "What, you want to bring out my doubts? My misgivings? It doesn't matter if I am capable or not. I already made my choice. I will do everything I can to help him. But it isn't just me. This isn't a burden I share alone. I share it with Kayane himself, his sister, his cousin, everyone that cares about him. There is no fast quick answer to cure the pain of the heart. But we can persevere and take on every challenge, one at a time. I know I used to believe there had to be one answer that could fix everything, but it isn't true. I know who I am, and I won't be deceived, even by myself."
The frustration turned to rage and the fake lunged towards me. I instead released a powerful Primal Force attack from Inahime and sent her flying off and into a wall. And I felt her presence disappear. Kouzeon seemed to be regaining her ability to sense the surroundings. Maybe because I had gained one of Kayane's persona shards.
I take a deep breath and then hear... a piano? It was faint, distant. I notice that despite this looking like the studio in Kayane's home, all the instruments were conspicuously missing. I must have found myself further in. Now that I search out with Kouzeon I could sense another strong presence nearby. I still couldn't sense the others though. If it was another of Kayane's persona shards then I couldn't wait. I took a moment to evaluate how much of my own stamina might have drained before drinking a vial that I had gained when in the Velvet Room. Miyuki said I had fulfilled a request of hers during the Minazuki Sho's incident. Either way I felt revitalized, although I likely would have been okay. Better to be overly cautious than make a fatal mistake.
Stepping to the door of the room, I opened it and saw a long corridor. This place seemed designed to look like his house he lived in now. A stark contrast to when they had come to rescue him from the TV world and it had been that cold large place designed like his Uncle's home. There had to be a significance to this. Only way to know was to keep moving.
HAMUKO'S POINT OF VIEW
We followed a winding path for quite some time, but then it started to go up, and circle around for quite a while. When the four of us reached the to we hadn't been that prepared for what we would find there.
"No, it couldn't be. This is... the top of Tartarus," Mitsuru gasped as she made the connection.
I had never been here before, but the descriptions I've read from my brother's journal would leave me little doubt for this. And we found him there. The fake Shadow of my twin brother, Arisato Minato.
"Who the hell do you think you are? Wearing his face, and creating this place!?" Yukari yelled and her eyes looked as if they were going to erase the fake Shadow's existence.
"Because he wanted to see it," Shadow Minato indicated to the one next to him. Standing there seemed to be Kayane. He was looking up to the large looming full moon in the sky above.
"The place where Nyx descends, bringing about the Fall of mankind. I've heard a couple different sides of this event now but I still wondered. What had it felt like for my cousin to stand here and face down such tremendous weight bearing down on him? Then he used his power to stop it all, by blocking mankind's wish for death. And yet because of his choice and sacrifice, he isn't here to be a part of what he saved. And yet I had been one of those many that had burdened him, because of my own desire to die," Shadow Kayane then turned towards us and stepped forward, looking to Yukari. "How could I ever possibly be forgiven by him, when I had once wished for the world to end. He must hate me."
"No, Kayane-san," Yukari spoke up. "Minato wasn't like that."
"Of course I wasn't," the fake Minato laughed.
"Shut up," I snapped. I noticed the Shadow Kayane's golden eyes, mark of being a Shadow. But his demeanor was different than I expected so I asked him a question, "What is it that you wanted by seeing this place?"
"Perspective," he said after a moment. He then looks back up to the full moon in the sky, "I am a Shadow, the true self. I am a reflection of Kayane's sin of greed. And what he covets most of all, what he treasures and wishes to hoard is the emotions of acceptance, of happiness and love. The memories of the times he laughed and found himself smiling. That's why I had to come here. Minato came to this place and came to a realization. I imagine that if you were to personify his greed you would get something similar. Not a desire for physical possessions, but the people, relationships, emotions and memories of his life is what he desired more than anything."
I blinked and felt a tear fall from my left eye. Had that been what Minato felt then? It wasn't about what he was saving... but maybe he was just stopping Nyx from taking away everything that mattered to him. "You're saying that all of that means more to you. More than your own life?"
"Did I tell you the truth as to why I tried to end my own life? Do you think it was some sort of twisted view of ending my own suffering? Perhaps that is an easy way to view it. Perhaps it was even a way I thought I was doing it. But that is not the truth of that desire. No, I wanted to preserve my memory of Miyuki, of my Mother. The things I treasure and hoard to myself. I refused to tell the therapists, psychologists, counselors or whatever adult that tried to get me to spill my secrets. I couldn't tell them how happy I was in my time with Miyuki, or my adopted Mother. Those were my treasures, they belonged to me and no one else. And how DARE anyone try to take my memories to twist their preconceived stories of my life. I was nothing more than an abused child who had gone through a myriad of misfortune. And I am not about to let anyone use those memories for their own ends," The Shadow Kayane then reached out and grabbed the fake Minato.
"What? What are you doing?" He reached up and tried to break away, but dark shadows began to surround him.
"Nyarlathotep may have intended for you to manipulate this encounter, to mess with their emotions. But even if you are a fake, you hold memories of my real cousin that don't belong to you. And since he isn't here to claim them. I'll take them for myself!" Shadow Kayane seemed to consume the fake Shadow of Minato, and then disappeared in a mass of Shadows.
"Everyone, be ready! He's changing to something insanely more powerful," Mitsuru warns.
I stand ready to fight but I can't tear my eyes away as the Shadow reforms into something that looks like...
"Is that... Erebus?" Yukari speaks first.
But something was different about it. It was covered in writing, like talisman's and each one seemed to refer to different things. Memory, emotion, love, hate, solitude, friendship, lust, pain, loss... If the original Erebus had been mankind's desire for death, then this was Kayane's desire for preservation of memories. He was an aspect of Kayane's greed. And it seemed that Kayane treasured his memories more than anything else. Erebus' form was no doubt because of him forcefully merging with the fake Minato.
"Show me your strength to claim my shard! For I will hold nothing back!" The Shadow roared. "Magarudyne!" A massive violent wind hit us and sent most of us spiraling back, but standing against it, not affected was Yukari.
"You're probably right, Kayane-san. Minato treasures his past, no he treasures us, and the memories and times he had with SEES. He had found where he wanted to be, and was willing to give his life to protect it. It's funny, it's such a contradiction. He found home, a place he loved. But to protect that place he had to give up his place in it," Yukari brought up her bow and readied an arrow, charging it with a spell from her Persona, Isis. "That is not a burden for you to have! You have a place here, and someone waiting for you. And I'll be damned if I'll let Kujikawa go through the pain that I did. I promise that, Kayane-san!"
She released the arrow and met the next attack head on and cancelled the force out with her own.
"Yukari, do that again. Akihiko and I will attack in that opening. Hamuko-san, I'll leave the support to you," Mitsuru and Akihiko recovered and were now running forward as Yukari readied another arrow charged and readied to counter the massive Erebus like form.
I see, with a defense as strong as that, we need to capitalize on any possible weakness as soon as we find it. I swapped Persona and quickly boosted everyone's attack. Yukari's arrow slammed into the attack, cancelling out the force again, and Akihiko and Mitsuru were right behind it, slipping through its defenses and each bringing a powerful attack of their own. Akihiko's Persona slammed a physical blow on the Erebus form while Mitsuru then quickly encased it in ice.
I swapped to Siegfried and charged myself, building up that powerful consecutive strikes to land the attack of God's Hand against the frozen form, shattering it to pieces.
We all landed and for a moment nothing happened, but we didn't let our guards down.
"So this is the power of those that stood up to Nyx and against The Fall," the Shadow's voice echoed around us. Then the different parts of the Shadow began to draw back together, reforming into the Erebus form. "I'm sure you were more powerful in that moment than you are now. And yet the world is at risk of destroying itself again. Is such a world worth continuing to save, again and again?"
It irritated me to hear someone say something like that, "And what, is someone else supposed to decide what is and isn't worth saving? And by what metrics do you measure that by? Your own standards? No one has the right to decide that. My brother gave his life to protect this world. To protect the people he loved that lived in it. Even if the rest of the world wished for death, he stood defiantly against those wishes. Why? Because people can be wrong, people can have moments where we feel like giving up. That is all part of being human. We are diverse because there are those from all walks of life with a wide arrangement of experiences. From love, to hate, the virtuous to the sinners. You can put all the labels you want, skew the numbers in your favor but in the end we're all just human beings with free will. And we all have the right to choose our paths for ourselves."
"She's right," Yukari backed me up. "All we can do is protect what we can. Lead by example, try to inspire others to lead better lives. Minato gave his life because of his love for those around him. Not because he wanted to die, but because he wanted us to live. Maybe you can't see the difference in that but it's there. Just like you Kayane. What stopped you from attempting suicide again? Wasn't it because you didn't want to hurt your Mom? Because you realized how much she loved you?"
"We all make mistakes, but the best part of our lives is that we can improve ourselves and ensure we don't make those mistakes again. You have done the same, but you're scared, aren't you? To lose that which you've gained. That which you believe you don't deserve. But by whose standards are those? Yours? Or is it the Uncle who told you every day that you meant nothing. And now that you have people that say otherwise, you are terrified of them leaving you behind. Isn't that the truth?" Mitsuru added.
"It's okay to admit you need help. That you're weak. Our best qualities is that we can always get stronger. But the same goes with memories. It's fine to treasure your memories, but to cut yourself off to protect them, it means you make it impossible to create any new ones," Akihiko supported their points.
"It isn't up to us to decide what is worth saving or not," the Shadow chuckled, amused. "And what kind of fool would I be if my greed was content for only what I had now? Come, show me that resolve!"
The Erebus form let out a devastating roar and unleashed an attack. It moved like a tidal wave along the ground. I stabbed my naginata into the ground and used it to vault over the attack. To show my resolve... Then I wouldn't hold back. I landed squarely on my feet and allowed my weapon to fall to the ground. I then brought my evoker to my head. "Allow me to settle this in one strike!" I shot the evoker, not once but twice. I summoned a pair of Personas and unleashed a powerful skill. Metatron and Mithra appeared behind me. Metatron had the image of an archangel, but metallic. Silver wings and adorned with the color gold. Whereas Mithras was a red skinned humanoid with the head of a lion but a large serpent wrapped around him. The two floated menacingly behind me before both turning their power on the Shadow form that resembled Erebus. "Last Judge!" I yelled as a powerful hammer towered down from the heavens and hit slammed against the Shadow. A blinding light was released in the area.
It was a fusion spell, something that my twin brother had been capable of doing, and so, I ventured I had the same potential. It had been a lot of figuring things out with the help of Theodore of the Velvet Room. Either way, it had been more than worth the effort.
When the attack cleared and we could see clearly again, the form of Erebus was gone leaving only the Shadow of Kayane. The fake Shadow of Minato is nowhere to be seen. Getting to his feet, the Shadow looks like the spell nearly took him out as well, but he still stands.
"As I said, I am a Shadow, the true self, the reflection of Kayane's sin of greed. I shall entrust you the shard of his Persona if you give me the answer to one question. To ensure that I will seek further memories. I want a chance to sprout my wings. To truly be greedy for what I desire in life," Shadow Kayane smiled looking towards all of us. "Will you do this?"
"Yes, but it won't be just us, but everyone else that also treasures Kayane-san," Yukari was the one to quickly speak up.
The Shadow looked to me for a moment before turning away and looking up to the full moon, "Just one to go. See you soon. Right, Rise?"
His form disappears and left is a blue crystal shard. The four of us approach it. I reach out my hand and the floating crystal settles into the palm of my hand. Then our surroundings melted away. The next moment we were in a different location.
"Oneesama?"
I turn to see Kana coming towards me with a smile and obvious relief on her face. "We got one," I smiled and held up the crystal.
"Good job everyone, with that there are only two shards left," Narukami Yu spoke up. He seemed the others had placed their crystals on... was that Kayane's body?
I quickly moved over to him with Kana following me as I looked over him. "It's the real him, right?"
"There is no doubt," Mitsuru assured me. She paused, "Hmm it seems my Persona abilities for analyzing are starting to recover. Wait we're missing..."
"Yeah, Rise is still gone. And my guess, she has the last two remaining pieces, or she will soon," Yu added.
We all stood in silence for a moment as we refused to speak the alternative. Because Rise was on her own... and likely in an incredible amount of danger.
RISE'S POINT OF VIEW
This place had been more like traditional locations inside the TV. I had progressed down several floors in this dungeon designed to look like Kayane's home. Though like everything it was greatly exaggerated to a significant extent. There was a chill in the air, but with some adjustments to Inahime via skill cards I was able to ignore it and focus on progression. I'm glad I had over prepared for this venture when I had gone into the Velvet Room. I hadn't really expected the preparation to fight to clean out my wallet though. I wonder how much Yu-senpai had spent when he used the Velvet Room services available to him. Probably best that I don't know.
I've defeated a lot of Shadows up to now, and on my own. Even with some supplies that I had I was beginning to feel exhausted. I think the training for coming back to show business had definitely been helpful but it wasn't like we had much sleep between saving the girls from the Midnight Stage and traveling to Inaba to pursue Nyarlathotep. But saving Kayane isn't something I can just leave to someone else. I earned this power... my second Persona Inahime in order to fight and save him with my own power.
I came to a door and slid it open and found myself entering a room that was identical to the music room in Kayane's home. But this one was about three times the size of the real room. It was filled with instruments, but the central instrument was not a surprise. A piano, and who should be sitting there but Kayane. Likely his Shadow... another aspect of himself.
"Kayane?" I can't help but call out to him.
He looked to me, revealing those golden eyes confirming he was a Shadow. He stood up from the seat at the piano and I slowly made my way to him. He took a few steps and stopped, a smile on his face. Perhaps strange for a Shadow to do, especially since it reminded me of Kayane's true self. But a Shadow was a part of him, so it wasn't like it was impossible.
"You're finally here," he said with a softer voice than I had expected. "That means all the other shards have been gathered. You have one, and the others have the other five."
"And you have the last one," If it was true then we were so close to getting Kayane back.
He chuckled, "Something like that. Though I doubt you would believe it is so simple. Collect the shards, combine them together and Kayane will awaken. But even doing so I will still be under his power. I'm sure you've thought of that."
"Yeah, I have," I admitted. "That doesn't matter though. I'll take it on, one step at a time. I'm going to save him. Save you."
He nods and turns back to the piano, "What does it mean to save someone? To save them from a situation? Their way of thinking? Their way of life? In a point of view you've saved me plenty of times, Rise. The first time I heard your song on that audition track. When you and the others came after me in the TV world. Or when you pushed me to move forward and aim for the life that I truly wanted. By me using the one thing I felt had always been there for me, and could never betray me. Music."
"It has been your one constant in your life. And the one thing that allows you to create," I added to his point.
"I hardly have to explain any of this to you. You already know the truth, and likely what I am supposed to represent," He chuckled and put his hands on the top of the piano.
Yeah, I had a good idea. This location, the emphasis on the instruments and the temperature was cold. "You're Kayane's Pride. And the one real thing he knows is music. No one I've ever met has better ears than him. You don't compromise when it comes to getting the sound you want."
"Indeed, I am a Shadow, the true self. I am a reflection of Kayane's sin of Pride," he confirmed. Turning towards me he smiled. "It is said that Pride is the original sin and the gateway that leads to the other six. What is Envy without the belief that you deserve more? You cannot Lust without presuming you deserve to fulfill those desires. Without Pride, you cannot begin to indulge in Gluttony, Sloth, Greed, Envy, Lust and even Wrath. For without Pride you cannot do any of these things. To turn it around... You can not love anything if you cannot first love yourself, right?"
But the problem with this was that Kayane likely didn't have much Pride in himself. Perhaps why this Shadow was much more subdued. "But the heart still longs for things that it desires, regardless of pride."
"Perhaps, but the ability to act on those feelings is where pride comes into play, is it not?" The Shadow countered. "I suppose confidence is another word. Pride isn't entirely negative is it? Nothing wrong with being proud of one's work and effort. There is something to be said about the dangers of hubris though."
"That's why... you're the most like him, isn't it?" I asked after a pause.
"I am him after all," he chuckled and smiled. "None of this is normal. I hadn't rejected my Shadow, not really. But reality has been severely distorted in my head and I couldn't tell what was real. That's why I should warn you. Collecting my shard is the last, but it will not restore me to normal. it will simply be an opportunity to restore me to my true self."
"No matter how slim the chance, I know it will work. I know I will get my Kayane back. The real Kayane," I wasn't going to be convinced otherwise.
"I wouldn't expect anything less from you," His form darkened, the shape beginning to change as dark Shadows around us began to pull in towards him. "However, there is a process we cannot circumvent. You must defeat me."
A process? Meaning he can't just give me the crystal, even if he wanted to. Maybe this was Nyarlathotep's insurance, in the hopes that the Shadows would be resistant to fighting us. But that was ridiculous. Even after all this time maybe Nyarlathotep didn't truly understand Kayane. No, he just had the abilities that he wanted. The Shadow emerged in a new form, looking something like a twisted hound shaped to resemble a piano. It let out a melodic howl, that was as terrifying as it could potentially be beautiful.
The fight started in an instant and was a wave of untamed electrical energy that went in all directions. Inahime appeared and blocked the attack. "I'm so tired, you know," I launched a Agidyne attack and followed up with Garudyne, attempting to discover if it had a weakness. "I left being an idol to find myself. I thought I had but then I met Kayane." Bufudyne, this time. I skipped trying Ziodyne as the Shadow had already used an electrical attack so it was unlikely to be that. Well, this was Kayane's Shadow, perhaps it had no weakness much like Kayane's persona. No strengths but no weaknesses. All things were equal in effectiveness. "Kayane showed me that I had only begun to understand myself. And I fell in love with him. The person that showed me more than I could have ever seen on my own. But he has been fighting his own battles. And I realized it too late."
"Perhaps, but I would never believe that. My fight began long before we met. It was never your responsibility to fight my battles," Kayane's voice was in my head.
"You're right. I thought the same way too. When I was alone, after my Uncle died and I had forgotten why I had become an idol to begin with. It was why I came back to Inaba. To find my purpose. I had to be kidnapped and thrown into this world to find out the truth about myself. What my real problem was. But I was only able to find that out because of the others. These battles we fight in our mind, in the end we do have to fight them alone, however we have the strength to face our fears, our faults with the support that care and love us. And I'll be there for you Kayane! No matter how many times you have to face your demons. No matter how much time it takes. I will be there to catch you, to comfort you. Because I love you and I'm never going to give up on you!" I cried out as the Shadow released a massive almighty attack towards me. I stood up against it with Inahime. I felt the force of it pressing against me, the pressure was unbelievable, and I felt the strain, and pain that came with it. I grit my teeth and pushed through it and Inahime deflected the remaining of the attack.
"I will attack one more time, with everything I have. All you have to do is counter with everything in return," Kayane's voice spoke to me once more directly in my head.
"So that was your goal?" I can't help but smile as I readied myself. Using Inahime, I charged my mind and then increased my attack and accuracy.
"I had to fight back somehow, didn't I?" Kayane's voice chuckled and for the briefest moment I could see his face smiling with laughter.
"Kayane!" I yell as I see the Shadow powering up it's next attack. "Hold on, I'm here to bring you home!"
The Shadow form let out a devastating roar and began to release the concentrated almighty attack. It was much like Megidolaon in terms of power but concentrated towards me. Inahime stood in front of me as the attack came towards me. There was no technique or skill that could block an almighty type skill. I had seen them so many times and that was why I met this head on. After all I had seen so many similar attacks. So I knew precisely how to avoid it. I stepped forward onto Inahime's back and my Persona launched me up into the air and out of the way of the attack. My Persona rejoined me only a moment later as I was in the air above the Shadow. I knew how to counter it, much like I had seen before. A power born of my own heart. "Divine Harmonics," the words are what came natural to me as Inahime sent out a blue light that crashed into the Shadow.
It tore through the Shadow in a blinding blue light. I closed my eyes and found myself landing on the ground. When it faded I found myself in a different location, standing at the head of what looked like an altar where the body of Kayane laid. I instinctively reached out my hand as the last crystal shard appeared. Then light shined from it as other shards traveled straight towards it.
The shard was completed... and what remained was an orb. I looked up and saw a stunned looking Nyarlathotep, still parading as Kayane's Shadow.
"Rise!"
"Kujikawa!"
I looked to see everyone else was already here. I looked back to Nyarlathotep, "We've gathered all the shards. Kayane is going to wake up soon."
He laughed, "Good luck with that. As I hold the final piece. Take a look... that orb is incomplete."
In a panic I observe it to see that he was right. An almost indecipherable crack was on the orb. So it was rigged from the start. Nyarlathotep held the last shard needed to restore Kayane's power, his Persona and allow him to awaken. "You bastard."
"The stage is finally set. Now watch as I, the Composer create the true Last Symphony of this world."
A/N
Once upon a time, I originally only meant for this to last through the vanilla game. It was so long ago when I first started this story. And I'm sure I've talked about it previously. But part of why I keep writing this is because... well one, I hate leaving things unfinished. (my Chrono Trigger fic is also on my radar) but mostly I can't help but want to add more satisfying conclusion. And Persona 4 had a couple things that really still bother me. Of all the characters... can you really say if any of them had any real growth?
Persona 4 The Golden recognized this and is why the ending is tweaked the way it is. Previously when the game ended, none of the characters really changed. Granted the whole point of the game was that they accept who they really are over actual growth. Which looking at it, is kind of weird. For example, Rise. She is a pop idol that become disillusioned with what fame has brought her. Believing that the people like the "fake" her and will never see her for who she is. This, while absolutely a psychological issue, it is clear that Rise doesn't even know who "she" is to begin with. When we first meet her, she is listless and lacking any real energy. To the point that people don't recognize her as Risette. Though this enforces the idea that if she doesn't act like her high energy idol self then people don't even acknowledge her as the real Risette. But what happens after you save her from the TV world? She almost completely becomes more like the person that people imagined her to be to begin with. The difference is she found of people she could be honest with.
But that is just Persona 4 in general. It can be argued how these character grow and develop over the story isn't like what I'm suggesting, but I feel that part of the problem is that the main story and the development in their social links are kept separate. I know that there are a lot of issues both technical and time consuming to be able to naturally change the story to reflect the protagonist progress in social links but man, imagine if it did. Yukiko, I think would see a huge change in her confidence after completing her social link. While Yukiko ends up accepting taking over the Inn, she wants to be proactive and also improve the Inn. She realizes that she couldn't really see herself leaving the Inn because not because of her family, but also the people that work there she also values as family. And she wants to preserve that place. I would say this is the equivalent to most of the growth for all the characters. Accepting who they are. Becoming confident in their abilities, and then pushing forward to the future to better and increase that thing they were once unable to accept about themselves.
But what happened if someone really couldn't accept themselves? What if there was more than one issue that couldn't be so easily confronted? And well add in some malevolent entity like Nyarlathotep and well... things happen. Kayane was more my response to the game not looking at some of the other issues that aren't so easy to accept. Abuse, suicide, sexual assault, are uncomfortable topics no matter what culture you are a part of. But in a group like the Investigation Team... I wanted to explore that, to present them with something that wasn't so easy to make go away. You can befriend someone, give them a place they can feel comfortable, but a lot of times it isn't so easy to give comfort. As someone who was a victim themselves... people tend to react by wanting to hug you, as a means to comfort you as it is something that comforts them. But that isn't always the best method. A lot of times it can make it worse. Sometimes the best thing you can do is just sit with them and let them know you aren't going anywhere.
Hmm, maybe I'm not explaining it that well. The point is by putting in an unknown like this I could hopefully make the cast as a whole grow in a different way. Whether I succeeded or not is up to you, the reader.
We are getting so close to the end you guys. And I hope my chapter releases will be someone consistent up until the end. Even if you disagree with me or how I portrayed anyone I still want to thank you for your time to read my story in a vast sea of others available.
