Before I knew it Adam and Belle were leaving and I started to feel nervous at the fact that it was now time to find out what was now on Ben's mind. I felt my stomach sting with the constant burning that had taken root during our meal as Ben closed the door behind his parents; and I turned around and started to wash our plates and cutlery in a bid to try and calm my nerves down.
"That was nice" I heard Ben say as he walked up to me.
"Yes" I replied, not looking up at him. "Very nice" I added as he stood on my right hand side.
"Mal there is a dishwasher" I heard him say.
"I know," I answered. "But when something is on my mind-" I began. "I like to clean," I advised. "It takes my mind off things" I finished as I continued to scrub the plate that was in my hands.
"What's on your mind?" I heard him ask.
"You tell me" I answered more harshly than I meant it.
"What?" I heard him ask and I looked up at him to see him throw a confused look at me.
"There is something bothering you," I stated.
"Mal this whole situation is-" he started.
"Stop!" I exclaimed, cutting him off. "I know you well enough to know that isn't the case, there is something else" I insisted. "If you don't want to talk about it then it's fine, just know I am here when you want to talk" I offered.
"I know," he advised. "Same to you" he offered.
"I know" I repeated, mimicking his voice which made us both chuckle. I then watched as his face dropped in concern; which told me that whatever was on his mind he was still stewing on it.
"The thing that's on my mind Mal isn't-" he started before he nervously looked down to the ground.
"Yes?" he prompted.
"Probably something you want to hear" he muttered as he slowly looked back up at me.
"Right?" I said slowly. "Well you definitely have my attention now Ben" I advised as I placed the plate into the sink and looked at him.
"I love you" he replied as I picked up a dark blue tea towel and began to dry my hands.
"I love you too" I replied in confusion.
"I love this baby," he answered.
"Ok?" I said slowly as I fell further in confusion. "Where are you going with this?" I questioned.
"Mal what I am about to say is hard for me to say-" he began. "Because I only want what is best for the pair of you" he urged and I decided to stay quiet so that he could continue with what he wanted to say. "And we have options," he added. "That I think we may have to discuss" he finished before pursing his lips together.
"Options?" I repeated in confusion. "What options?" I fired back at him. Why couldn't he just say what he wanted outright? The fact that he was going around the houses was only building to my anxiety not taking away from it; which surely he had to know! "Ben you are confusing me" I admitted as I froze when I finally understood where he might be going with this. No! Surely not! "Is this about the baby?" I fired at him once more. "Are you talking about an abortion? I thought you wanted them" I stressed as I took a step away from him.
"I do!" he insisted. "Of course I do!" he stressed. "That hasn't changed. I want this baby Mal" he added; and then it hit my like a tonne of bricks. It was me he didn't want! After seeing that video it was too much for him and he didn't want me anymore!
"But you feel different about me" I muttered. "Since seeing that video!" I spat as I balled my fists up.
"Not different," he replied. "It just seems more real" he advised and I glared at him. "But that is besides the point" he quickly added as I could tell that he still hadn't got to what he wanted to say to me.
"Ben just spit it out!" I snapped at him.
"We are newly married," he advised. "It doesn't have to affect you" he dismissed.
"What doesn't?" I asked bitterly.
"Being married to me" he answered.
"How would that affect me?" I asked out loud. "I am with you" I stated and my eyes widened when I finally understood what Ben was trying to say to me. He wanted to break up with me! Even though he already knew what was in that video before he watched it. "Oh" I muttered. "You are talking about if we split up" I advised, not looking at him. "You mean after the whole world knows that we have broken up?" I continued. "No one is going to want to come near the woman who couldn't keep the King in her bed" I mocked. "Is that it?" I spat.
"No!" he advised as he quickly shook his head.
"Well what is it Ben!" I snapped at him. "You have me so confused!" I snapped further. "There is obviously something you want to say, so just say it!" I shouted in frustration.
"A divorce!" he shouted back which made me freeze in shock.
"What?" I questioned as frustration quickly left my body, but was quickly replaced by fear.
"Would you like to get a divorce?" he questioned slowly and the room fell into silence as I took in what he had just asked me. I really couldn't believe that Ben would even ask me this; I thought he loved me! Why would he want to throw all we had all away? I thought that we were strong enough to go through this together! I then could see why he had been so troubled to approach this subject; but this then brought far too many questions to the forefront of my mind as my mind started to relieve everything that has happened since arriving in our new home. This only gave me a sinking feeling that everything now made so much more sense, Ben turning into a Beast and his parents turning up - he obviously wasn't sure if he wanted to stay married to me. Ben had always promised that I was never going to lose him again; but by the looks of everything that was unfolding showed me that it looked very likely.
My mind then fell onto our little one, where was this going to leave the three of us. If me and Ben had to break up then I was going to always have to come to terms with it; but I needed Ben to know one thing - I was never ever going to give them up!
