We finally got back to Jaken and Rin, returning just before sunset. I sat down as far away from Sesshomaru as I could, and avoided his gaze, preferring to give him a cold shoulder. I could feel his cold, harsh stare examining me. It made the atmosphere much more awkward than it should have been. Despite my attempts to keep him from consuming all of my thoughts, my mind verified its circuity. No matter how hard I tried to think of anything other than him, my mind would always wander back to him as my main, and sometimes only, thought.
"Kazumi-chan," Rin said as she held up five fish "look at what Rin and Jaken-san caught!"
The sight of it was enough to make me queasy. Their beady eyes stared lifelessly into mine, almost questioning why I allowed them to meet their end. It was stupid of me to imagine the small mouths of the fish opening and closing in complaint, and it was stupid for them to ask me such questions as if I was in charge of the circle of life.
"Good job Rin." I said, flashing a smile.
She returned my smile with a grin before walking to Jaken and putting the fish over a fire the kappa finished lighting. I guess I wouldn't be eating tonight, not that I was hungry. After today's events, I'd be surprised if I could stomach anything. I roosted next to a tree and watched the fire blaze wildly as my thoughts scrambled themselves once more before settling on the events of today. InuYasha attacked me, and things would have been very bad if Sesshomaru hadn't pulled me away. I'm very vulnerable. I already knew as much, but being as vulnerable as I am now, I'll have to strap myself to Sesshomaru's back to prevent myself from dying like the average nameless villager. I won't last long otherwise. With my birth day right around the corner, being on my own could result in rape before death, especially when running around in the woods as though I'm a forest nymph. But there's not much of a choice for me in anything I do here. If I had the freedom to do as I pleased, I would probably be in a worse situation.
After eating, Jaken and Rin fell asleep on Ah-Un. I'm more of a nocturnal type of gal, so going to sleep as quickly as the toad and child won't be possible for me. Those long nights of fanfictioning were destroying my health, even here. But will I complain? No. It was at night that I could get away with my silent whispers to myself, my conversations within my head, and much more without worrying about someone overhearing my sarcastic remarks or random fits of laughter. I couldn't get away with it as easily with the dog constantly on guard, but the night is still my time.
I turned away from the fire and closed my eyes as a deep breath swept away the stress of the day. I would find something out; I just had to wait. Kagome is fifteen and she's fine, so is Sango. They were fine, but sometimes got attacked too. Maybe they didn't get attacked as often because there were two guys…
…But Sesshomaru's here. His scent should over power yours with ease... and people are scared of him."
'That's true…. But Kagome and Sango can defend themselves, you know, in case they ever get separated.'
Well, then just make sure to never leave Sesshomaru's side.
'I don't want to be chained to him.'
How about we go back to our world?
'So I can go to sleep and end up here again? No thanks. I want to get this over with as quickly as possible.'
There isn't really anything we CAN do. Just remember what happens in the anime, and avoid as much danger as possible.
'Easier said than done! Apparently the butterfly effect exists in anime, just being here changes some things! I was with all the others and InuYasha attacked me! I didn't even do anything that time!'
Speaking of that, what's up with you? You fangirl over Sesshomaru all the time, but the second he touches you, you freak out?
'It's different when it happens for real! I won't lie and say I didn't feel some type of way about it, but we as people are nowhere near the relationship we need for me to be comfortable with it. I know him as a character from an anime, not personally.'
Hey, why don't you bring a gun here? You know, bang, bang, trouble's over.
'I hate those damn things.'
I think Sesshomaru's about to talk to you.
'Damn it.'
I pulled my legs to my chest and prayed for the best.
"You did not eat."
"I'm not hungry." I told him, trying to keep the conversation to a minimum.
"You need to eat." He told me
"I'm fine." I said, shortening my sentences.
"Eat." He commanded me.
I stared into his eyes. "No." He didn't own me. Why did he care if I ate or not? If I'm not hungry, I'm not going to eat, simple as that. He can't force me to do eat.
His eyes narrowed, making his agitation clear. He got up and walked over to me. For once, I wasn't going to let him intimidate me. There's a lot of stuff I can't control, and I won't let my diet become another freedom stolen from me. He was overstepping his jurisdiction. I stood up as well and met his glare. I wasn't going to let him scare me into conceding, and my sudden flare in attitude backed me.
"I will not repeat myself." He warned.
"Neither will I."
Before I knew it, his hand was wrapped tightly around my wrist and started to crush it as he tightened his fist. As I tried to loosen his grip to slip my hand out of the choke hold, he pulled me closer to him, bringing my attention back to him as his eyes bored through me. Those eyes of his were something else. One moment, I'm glaring at them, the next, I'm admiring them. I got lost in those eyes, and I would have stayed lost if he hadn't moved his hand from my wrist to my waist. I immediately turned away, calming my flushed face.
"Now you avoid my gaze?" He asked.
His voice was cold and harsh, sending a shiver down my back, though it was nowhere near as intense as before. I shook my head, and panicked slightly as his hair started to smooth against my skin, making my hair stand on edge. I tried to invoke the same attitude that had bathed my nerves in steel earlier, but when I attempted to glare into his eyes, the memory of his touch broke my bluff. My face flushed again, as though it didn't take forever to get rid of it the first time. I looked away, shifting uncomfortably in his reach.
"Now you fail to be fierce." He stated placing himself even closer.
"I have my reasons." I replied as I tried to free my waist from his grip.
He took the chance and pulled me into an embrace, leaving me speechless.
"This is about the river." He whispered into my ear.
Goosebumps ran down my arms as his breath creeped over my ear. Why was he acting so out of character? Before I could think of anything else, he tightened his grip on me, sending my thoughts out of my head. My entire body heated up as my fangirl threatened to spill over. If I had a fan girl overload now, it would be much worse than the time I saw Ceil, Alois, and Grell cosplayers at MoMo Con. Trust me. That was bad. I didn't want to become a blabbering idiot that can only express myself through incoherent squeals.
"I'm not the only one lacking fierceness." I commented, trying to turn the conversation against him.
His silence gave me time to quiet my fangirl. Once I'd settled down, I started to contemplate my own question, finding stock in its observation. It didn't take long for me to find the answer to my question, and I felt like a damn fool after finding it. I was an idiot for letting my fangirl get involved in this and getting my hopes up.
"This is about the demon thing, isn't it?" I asked.
His silence broke my heart, at least my fangirl's heart. Well, I shouldn't have expected anything less. This is Sesshomaru, and that book told me his intention some time ago. It's my own fault for letting my fangirl get carried away like that, for deceiving myself into believing that I was someone special to him. I walked into the heartbreak, and now I'll walk out of it. I can't afford to let my fangirl get in the way. My mind needs to be focused on doing whatever I am here to do, and not fool around with fictional characters. I pushed myself away from him. I wouldn't let myself be broken, but it was impossible to keep disappointment away.
Isn't this what you wanted?
'Why don't you ask yourself that?'
Woah there, let's tone down the sass.
'If he thinks I'm just going to throw myself at him, he has another thing coming.'
He's used to women throwing themselves at him.
'Well, not this chick.'
Aren't you the strong little lass.
Strongest in the world!
Don't toot your own horn.
That's why I'm here.
No, you're here to provide some sort of comfort and to keep us sane.
The girl already talks to herself as though she's having a conversation with others. We failed at keeping her sane a long time ago.
I rolled my eyes at the voices within my head before returning to me seat by a tree. Sesshomaru was still staring at me. I was going to ignore Sesshomaru for as long as I could, even if that meant that I had nothing else to do but to stare at a campfire until I fell asleep. I only needed him to make sure I didn't die, nothing else. I fell asleep to the thought, and woke up to the morning sun. After stretching and letting out a small yawn, the annoying voice of the toad talking about how I was wasting time floated into my ear. I'll be honest, I'm not a morning person, and waking up to one of the voices I despise the most didn't help. The fact that I didn't have my stuffed polar bear to satiate my morning grumpiness made me feel even worse. I glared at the toad that refused to shut up, silently wrapping its neck with the invisible hands of my glare to strangle it and then mutilate the dead body if it opened its mouth even after death. I could see Sesshomaru in the corner of my eye, but decided to ignore the fact that he was staring at me again.
Jaken hid behind Ah-Un before noticing that Sesshomaru's gaze was trained toward me. I gave off a huff before getting up and looking for a river. I took my time looking for a source of water, listening closely, and looking for a change in vegetation. After wandering for a couple of minutes, I found a small creek that wasn't too far and got a drink of water. Even though I was literally less than thirty feet away from the camp, Sesshomaru was following me. I guess I shouldn't complain, considering the fact I just up and left camp without a word of where I was going, but it's whatever. I took my time at the riverside. I would enjoy the few moments of freedom that I had, even if those moments were supervised.
I sat down by the river bank and took a deep breath. InuYasha was fighting Ryukotsusei, or we were just starting season three. Gosh, I just wish that things were easier to keep track of. If I was with the main group, I would know where we were without a problem. But as fate would have it, I'm not. There's no sense in complaining about it, I guess. There's no changing it now. I can already tell that Sesshomaru won't let up until he has what he wants from me. Unfortunately, he wants me, or my body to be more specific. It's too bad for him that I won't hand myself over to him. I prefer to be valuable for the information I have to offer, than for the convenience of having kids. But at least I'm not deemed useless. I'd be thrown away without a second thought then.
A screech floated into my ears, getting my eyes to wander from the subtle current of the water to the direction the screech came from. The sky went from clear to disturbingly dark in an instant as a hoard of demons flew in a single direction. We were definitely in season three, probably the episode when those two girls go and steal those demon bones from Sango. Sango has nerves of steel, charging into that mass of flesh and bone. I could hear those demons from where I sat, and they didn't sound nice. It was either I wasn't that far from the event, or those demons had vocal chords set up with personal sound systems and microphones.
It's rather convenient that I just so happened to see this, if I do say so myself, but I won't look a gift in the face and deny it. So we're with Sango and her broken boomerang… what's after that? Was it… no. Wait, when did… what? Dang it filler! I didn't need this right now. I know my long term memory, scratch that, all of my memory, sucks, but I couldn't remember anything. Seriously? Yeah, valuable information my ass. The only valuable thing about me is that I can never serve as a witness to a murder, not that it's illegal here anyway. So you see how useless I am. I let out a sigh as my palm calmly, yet frustrated, rested against my forehead. By now, Sesshomaru had come out, receiving my unamused gaze.
"I need to go to Bone Eater's Well." I said more to myself than to him.
He raised his eyebrow, but I didn't say anything else. He was entitled to nothing, especially not the reasons behind my sudden request.
"I'll be satisfied if you just show me the way." I said, before dusting myself off, standing up and returning his gaze.
'I told you!'
'SHUT UP CONSENCE'
Nobody likes you!
"We will depart immediately." Sesshomaru told me.
At least he was being straight forward. I was more than willing to let myself show some relief. I'd be safe for a while in the comfort of my home. Not for long, but I'd make the best of it. We didn't hesitate to get to Kaede's village quickly. Thankfully, Sesshomaru and Jaken didn't follow me inside the little village. Rin went off to find Kaede, and I went straight to the well. I stared at the aging wood before sitting against its damp sides. Hopefully, this would work; I didn't have a backup plan. I watched as clouds rolled by. It was amazing how peaceful the sky was despite the conflict that was to come. The sky was usually the first to show any omen of what was to come. It didn't take long before the serene sky lulled me to sleep. It felt like a second had passed when my eyes opened again. I woke up to my brother taking a shower. I was back, and it was Saturday. I ran over to my brother's room, and "borrowed" his laptop. I opened it up, and surfed Wikipedia after trying to watch the episodes on YouTube. YouTube was always trying to take down videos, and now InuYasha was much harder to find. Copyright my ass. There goes Google, making everyone's lives so much harder because they wanted to make a few extra bucks. I searched Wikipedia for the list of InuYasha season three episodes. After spotting the sister demon apprentice episode, I scrolled down, reading as much as I needed to remember.
"What are you doing?" My sister asked as she stumbled into our room
"Being me." I replied after choking on my cackles.
She rolled her eyes. "Well breakfast is ready, get some whenever." She told me.
Breakfast sounded good. After reading the rest of season three, I went and filled up on food. I didn't realize that I was starving until the scent of cinnamon rolls wafted into my nose, and made my stomach go ballistic. I was glad to fill my gut with the sweet breakfast item, eggs, and orange juice. I ate as much as I could, changed into a new set of clothes, and got my glasses this time. I would finally be able to see. I got back in bed and closed my eyes. Hopefully I wouldn't be too late. I yawned and snuggled up with my stuffed panda bear. Before I knew it, I was asleep.
I woke up again. I swear, I haven't slept this much since my seventh grade summer vacation. After shaking the sleep out of my body, I ran over to the village and stumbled into Miroku.
"Hello monk." I greeted.
"Oh, you're back."
"Yeah, I am."
"I'm glad to see that you are doing fine."
"Same to you… Do you know where Kagome is?" I asked.
"Kagome? I do not think she has returned yet."
"Good to know." I replied as I mentally sighed. I still had some time.
After finding out that I had a couple of minutes to spare, or I assuming that I did, I appeased my curiosity by searching for Sesshomaru. Though I highly doubted that he would stick around for so long, I walked along the outskirts of the village, looking at the woods to see if I could catch a glimpse of white. A glimpse of white I did find, but it was InuYasha that my eyes caught watching over me.
"Have you got your eye on the sparrow?" I asked him as I watched him back away as I drew closer to him. "Are you scared I have rabies or something?"
"You reek of Sesshomaru."
"Do I?"
"You do."
"I'm sure it's not as bad as you're making it seem."
"You wouldn't understand."
"Are you sure about that?"
"..."
"You're very quiet, InuYasha."
"…"
"No sarcastic jokes toady?" I asked.
"You're lucky I can't think of any at the moment." He replied as he looked away rather slowly.
"You can't think of any, or you can't bring yourself to say them?"
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"I don't know." I said with a shrug as I turned away from him. "I'm just suggesting stuff."
"I'm not buying that." He snarled.
"What do you want me to do about that?"
"Tell me what you meant."
"You usually don't care. What's up with you?" I asked forwardly.
"There's nothing wrong with me."
"Really? Last I checked, Sesshomaru's scent never made you run away. If anything, it's driven you to get up close and personal. Even if it did reek it wouldn't back away."
He said nothing.
It didn't take me long to figure out that Sesshomaru's scent being on me brought up some bad memories. Memories he probably regrets making. I was ready to confront him about it, but the sudden chill that ran down my back told me that I just ran out of time. If I wanted to get to the well in time, I'd have to leave now. I turned away from the contemplative hanyou and started back to the well. It was dumb of me to go to the other side of the village, but I had no time to chastise myself for my stupidity.
After jogging to the propinquity of the well, and getting lost, I made it to the well's clearing just as Kagome was about to hop out of the well.
"KAGOME, STOP!" I yelled with bated breath. Running through a forest definitely took more effort than the anime made it seem.
She stopped right before she swung her leg over the well's edge, to my relief. I guess I was wrong when I assumed that I couldn't change the plot line. No bite means no Tsubaki. I bit my tongue almost immediately. I could feel fangs sink into my Achilles tendon procuring an F-bomb from my tongue. After hearing my F-bomb, Kagome ran to me, and ended up being bit too. Damn it! You know what? Screw this. I'm going to stop trying to change the story. I always end up screwed whenever I do, so forget it. But where the heck is InuYasha? Was he still in his corner throwing a fit about nothing? You'd think he'd follow me after I just cut off the conversation like that, but I guess I'm dumb for assuming that.
I let out a frustrated sigh as said hanyou walked over to us, still covering his nose. I ignored him as he spoke to Kagome giving dialogue as though they read it from a script. It wasn't until I got tired of hearing his muffled voice that I spoke.
"Get your freaking arm out of your face." I instructed him.
"…Why do you reek of Sesshomaru so much? What have you been doing with him?"
Kagome looked at me, blushing.
I rolled my eyes. "Not what you think we've been doing. I didn't think you of all people would think I'd be that easy to get." I said, condemning Kagome's silent thoughts.
Kagome looked away, leaving an awkward silence as I tried to calm myself down. I looked away, leaving InuYasha confused as he tried to understand how my comment created such an awkward situation. It took a moment before Kagome chirped up and suggested that we returned to the village. I agreed and let her take the lead. As we headed off toward the village, I stopped InuYasha and let Kagome walk for a bit. When I felt that Kagome was out of ear-shoot, I decided to say what had come to my mind some time ago.
"Don't worry about that whole demon thing. I know it wasn't you."
For a brief moment, I could see a load be lifted off his shoulder. Said relief disappeared faster than it had appeared.
"I wasn't worriyin' about nothing," He replied before he turned his back to me.
"Then at least try to make that convincing. I'll see right through you if you stop talking."
"You're overthinking it." He persisted.
"Okay, okay."
