After crying and sobbing for what felt like a tortured eternity I slowly sat up in bed and brought my knees to my chest; I then wrapped my arms around my legs as I rested my head against my knees. Why would he ask for a divorce? He still loved me? How can he love me but then ask for us to split up? He really had me confused; I know that watching that video was going to be hard for him, just like it was for me. But surely this shouldn't give him cause to want to sever ties with me completely.
My mind then went on to what I had accused him of and I instantly regretted it - of course it wasn't a heat of the moment thing. He hadn't just married me because I was pregnant; he told me that he wanted to marry me before I broke the news of my pregnancy to him. I started to mentally kick myself at accusing him of these things but I then pushed this away when I reminded myself that he still wanted to divorce me. I just couldn't believe that it had come to this! We had only been married for a very short space of time; and we had resorted to being seperated like this.
Then came the question about our baby; how was that even going to work? Of course they would be next in line for the throne of Auradon; but how were me and Ben going to co-parent together? There was no way that I was going to be able to live in our new home or Auradon Castle with Ben for the rest of my life; especially when he met someone else - a thought that broke my heart even further. There was no way that I could watch from the shadows as he, his new lover and our baby had a life together - and I don't think very many people would be able to tolerate this.
I sighed at the thought of having to discuss childcare with Ben; I knew that he would want to be very involved in our baby's life - and I would never stop him. But given his work I knew that I didn't want either of us to become dependent on nanny's - I was brought up by an evil nanny and I didn't like it. I think this is another reason why me and my mother didn't have a very close bond.
I then started to feel worried and nervous about how this was going to look to our family and the Kingdom; it was never going to look good to them. The press! Urgh! The press was going to be all over this! I could just see the headlines now! I could just imagine what Audrey, Queen Leah and my parents were going to be like next time we crossed paths - it wasn't bear thinking about!
I then heard Ben's words echo in my head about the fact that me being with him shouldn't affect me, heck! Of course it would! No one was going to want to come anywhere near me! Of course this wasn't that important to me; I just didn't like the fact that the rest of my life was probably going to be loveless and alone - apart from my baby and family's love.
My mind then went onto the upcoming trial - how was this going to work? A dark and sinister voice then came to me and told me that Ben probably would want to wait until after the trial to announce us breaking up. My chest constricted painfully as I continued to cry and sob at this; I didn't want to lose Ben. I loved him so much! What hurt me even more is the fact that he didn't even want to try and get through it; he just wanted to end things - which made me feel so unwanted and betrayed. I thought that the trial was going to end this whole situation and then me and Ben could try and live our lives together - but by the looks of it this wasn't meant to be.
My mind then spitefully showed me flickerings of mine and Ben's past from our first meeting when I arrived in Auradon up until now; I kept crying out in pain as I went through this. I just didn't want to believe that it was over! I didn't want it to be! but as my mind reminded me of the cold look that was in his eyes when he asked me whether I wanted a divorce I groaned. I knew that me and Ben were going to have to talk about this before any decisions were actually made; part of me was hoping that he was going to change his mind. But everything seemed so uncertain right now; but all I knew is that I didn't want to lose him - even though the odds looked like they were against me. And unfortunately for me, maybe this time was the time that I had lost him once and for all.
I didn't know how much time had passed before I stopped sobbing and crying but as I let my legs drop forward onto the bed I made a decision - I needed to talk to Ben. Part of me didn't want to but I knew that I needed to. We both needed to know where we stood. So with this thought in mind I slowly slid off the bed and walked towards the bedroom door; as I stood next to the door I rested my left hand against the door as I slid my right door around the handle. I stood silently for a few seconds trying to hear if I could hear what or where Ben was and I pulled one brow up in confusion at the fact that I couldn't hear him.
Before I could change my mind I quickly unlocked and opened the door slowly to see him sitting on one of the couches facing me; however he was bent forward with his head in his hands.
"Ben" I muttered as my voice broke and I watched as he quickly looked up at me with red and puffy eyes, which told me that he had also been crying.
"Mal" he muttered back before the room fell into silence, with both of us not knowing what was going to happen next.
