A/N Thank all of you my friends! Just to show y'all how much I appreciate you, how 'bout I take ya on down ta that little ol' tavern and we see what those Dixon boys are up to? It's Wednesday night!

Let's see, what night is this? Oh yeah! It's Wednesday! Now c'mon, all y'all know what that means, yeehaw! Let's head on down to that nasty little old tavern, ya know the one, the one that shoulda been burned down 'bout 30 years ago. My gawd, have ya been in there lately? Smells like a damn herd a zombies are livin' there. But hey now, good news is, the beers are cold and they're cheap, and barkeep don't ask no questions, he just keeps the frosty ones a comin' 'til ya ask him ta stop.

Merle walked in and saw Baby Brother settin' there with a brown bottle in front a him. Ah n the boy looked fuckin' miserable. Merle hated to admit it, but damn, these were always the best Wednesday nights at the tavern, when baby brother was all kinda gloomy cuz little ballbuster was crackin' the whip 'bout one thing or another.

So Merle sat right down, n quick as that, barkeep set a frosty one down in front a him. "What's up brother, Beth twistin' yer balls 'bout sumthin'?"

Baby Brother just shook that head side ta side n he said, "Nah, brother, she's my Sweet Baby, but me n her we got us a big damn problem. All my fault too, I screwed the pooch on this one. Got no one ta blame but myself. I done this."

Okay, now that dumbass Merle was practically a droolin' ta know what the fuck this here was all 'bout. "Well now Brother, what the fuck, what could ya have done that's so bad?" Maybe he wasn't the only dumbass in the family after all!

"You remember the big night at the Hard Times, n I was protectin' my Sweet Baby from that mutherfucker (don't think for one minute right here kids, that barkeep's ears ain't all kinda perked up. I mean shit, he's seen Sweet Baby Beth, he wanted ta hear this story as much as Merle did, but ya know, barkeep, he's a professional, keeps it discreet n all), well, ya know, I was hot in more ways than one after the big fight, and I took my baby up there ta that room, and I threw her down on that bed, and damn brother, ya know I had ta show her I was the only man she's ever gonna need, that I could kick any mutherfucker's ass that dared ta touch her, n then I could take her and make her a happy, satisfied woman. It's my job, bein's how I'm her lovin' husband n all, right?"

"Well sure, sounds right ta me Baby Brother, so what's the problem, couldn't get it up?"

"Fuck you Merle, 'course I got it up, I ain't never had no trouble like that with my Baby, nah, the problem was, I didn't cover the bad boy up, didn't protect my Baby. Then we done it all again first thing in the mornin', n I didn't wear no raincoat that time either."

I swear, I ain't lyin', right then everyone in the tavern was a shakin' their head side ta side, cuz they was all rememberin' the last time he got his Sweet Baby in the family way. Now grant ya, it was entertainin' as all get out the way Young Dixon had behaved, but there wasn't anyone who thought he'd live through it twice.

"Well is she?" That was all Merle asked.

"Don't know, she said if sumthin' don't happen by Friday, she's gonna buy one a them tests, see for sure. Dammit, it's my own fuckin' fault. We'd already had us a talk 'bout this, we'd already agreed, for now we was just stickin' with D.J., wasn't ready for no more babies, maybe might never have another one. It's my job ta keep the bad boy from causin' this kinda trouble. Shit brother."

And Merle was bitin' the inside a his cheek hard, cuz, well ya know, as much as he loves Baby Brother n all, well, this shit here, it was kinda funny ta him, cuz ya know, I ain't gotta tell ya, Merle's a dumbass. He knows it too.

'Bout then barkeep set down two more frosty ones, Daryl looked at him, "This here's my last one tonight." Barkeep just nodded, ya know, on account a he's a professional n all, so he don't argue such things.

Then Merle, who occasionally does try ta smooth things over for Baby Brother, asked him, "Would it really be the end a the world Baby Brother? I mean, ya know, Little Ballbuster, she's a real good Mama n all, n ya got ya a real good little fella there when D.J. come along, so maybe y'all are gonna get lucky again."

It was right then everyone in the tavern took a big swallow a their beer, I swear, it was like a synchronized swimmin' move or sumthin', but ya know they was all just dyin' ta know what Young Dixon would answer ta that.

"Yeah, yeah, easy for you ta say, if ya think it such a fuckin' dandy idea brother, why ain't you n Cindy had ya no babies?"

This was gettin' good, n everyone took another quick swallow.

"Well I ain't a 100% opposed ta the idea or nuthin', but my Cindy, well she's always sayin', ya know, she don't wanna get pregnant n ruin her figure." Then them brothers both started ta cacklin', cuz ya know, it's like I been tellin' ya all along, they're both capable a bein' dumbasses. Course everyone else in the bar was smart enough ta bite their damn tongue. No one wanted Merle Dixon kickin' their ass.

Then Merle, he got all serious like he does about his Cindy, n he said, "Goddamn I love that big ol' soft body a hers, nuthin' more warm n welcomin' than that. And that woman a mine, damn, she knows how ta use it. I love every ounce a my Cindy."

xxxx

He did feel a little better when he walked in his front door, little ol' D.J. was a playin' with his trucks on the livin' room floor, n watchin' Yo Gabba Gabba on the TV. Daryl could not figure how anyone could watch that shit, but hey, little man liked it.

Then he stepped in the kitchen n his Sweet Baby was a standin' there at the stove, n ya know how he is, couldn't help himself, n well, ya know, she kinda liked that he couldn't help himself, cuz he come up behind her just like he did every single night, and he slid that hand up her leg, right ta that special place in between, which by gawd was just his ta touch, and dammit, maybe where the current trouble began.

And he kissed her there on the neck, n okay, maybe he sucked on it just a bit, n then he was just nibblin' a little at her ear, and fuck almighty, Sweet Baby started ta cry. Aww, fuck, now what the hell?

"Beth, Baby whatsa matter, what happened, girl, did I do sumthin' wrong?" Daryl ALWAYS assumed shit was his fault.

"No, it wasn't you, it's just, well, I started today."

"Ya started what?" Oh shit, then he realized. "Well Baby, I thought ya didn't wanna be pregnant so why ya cryin', what can I do ta make ya feel better?" He couldn't take it when his Sweet Baby cried.

She turned around and put her arms around his waist and her head on his chest and she said, "Well I guess I'd gotten myself all worked up into the idea, and I was starting to think it might be fun to have another baby, I started making plans and stuff. So now I guess I'm just having a little breakdown about it."

"Ah Sweet Baby, I'm sorry. Ya wanna make a baby? If ya wanna, we'll do that. Ya know I always wanna make ya happy girl, always. All ya gotta do is tell yer lovin' husband what ya want, I'ma do my best ta see ya have it." And he held her tight and he rubbed and squeezed on her ass, cuz, well ya know, they both like that.

"Oh Daryl, you're the best husband ever. I'm so confused right now I don't know what I want. I'll think about it for a month or so, okay?" And she squeezed and rubbed his ass, cuz, well ya know, they both like that too.

"Sure Baby, n a little later on, ya know, maybe we can practice how ta make them babies." And he smiled at her, n then well ya know, he couldn't resist n that hand just kinda naturally wanted ta go right there between her legs, n he was rubbin' there, ya know, just ta make her happy n all, n they was both enjoyin' that when little ol' D.J. come a toddlin' into the kitchen n said, "Hungee Mama."

Daryl just smiled down at little man, tickled the boy's side n told him, "Ya done ruined a real nice moment there boy, I'ma be payin' ya back someday, ya best count on that." And little man, he just laughed n clapped, cuz ya know, he's the happiest little fella ya ever did see. Must be them awesome parents a his.

She'd made him one a his favorites for dinner, stuffed pork chops, extra cornbread dressing and plenty of gravy. She was just barely nibbling at it, she don't eat much, but him n his man D.J., they was puttin' it right down.

She smiled over at him and, asked, "Daryl, we should we have a party, you know, just to get our minds off things. We could do it maybe a week from Saturday. Have the guys from work, just like you've wanted to, and, of course, Merle and Cindy and Glenn and Maggie and Abe and Rosita. I'll ask Mama and Daddy if D.J. can spend the night with them that night, does that sound okay?"

And he was just about to shovel in that big ol' bite a dressin' n he said, "That sounds just right Sweet Baby, ya plan that any way ya want. If ye want me ta cook up food, I can do that for ya, ya know I will. This here dinner is perfect Baby." And he looked over at little man, "Ain't that good son, yer Mama's the best cook in the world, we're real damn lucky ta have her takin' care a us n don't ya ever forget it."

A course, I don't have ta tell ya, D.J. he just laughed n clapped. Happiest baby in the world that boy is.

Well, ya know, Daryl ain't much help around the house there, that's one a the reasons why he don't want her ta work n stuff, he figures it's a full time job takin' care a him n D.J. Does he think he's an asshole? Hell yeah, he knows he's an asshole. But ya know what? He's happy, she's happy, n little ol' D.J., why he's happier than a pig in mud.

So while she cleaned the kitchen, he played trucks with little man n watched sumthin' called Rescue Pets, which made Yo Gabba Gabba seem like that Shakespeare stuff.

Then she took D.J. for his bath. She was obsessed with theses fuckin' baths I tell ya. She made him n D.J. take a damn bath every fuckin' day. D.J. seemed okay with that. Only time Daryl liked it was if she was a takin' one with him.

Then it was story time, Daryl he loved story time as much as D.J. Listenin' ta Sweet Baby read them stories was real pleasin' ta both a them. Then little man, he went ta bed.

They was just barely outta little man's room when they was all over each other. Damn if she didn't wanna take a shower, but ya know, he was okay with that cuz they'd be all like helpin' each other wash important parts n whatnot. Never did bother him when it was "that time a the month", that was just part a her bein' a woman, n her bein' a woman was a huge part a why he was interested in the first damn place. Sheesh people.

So anyways, y'all know how they are, the two a them always actin' like they haven't had any in a month a Sundays, when truth is, they was just doin' this same shit last night, and the night 'fore that, an on an on.

xxxx

She had been workin' on that party n he didn't have no doubt it was gonna be a doozie. Mama Greene, she'd come n got little man n they was off ta have nuthin' but a big time over there on the farm. Plus, c'mon, ya know this, Saturday night means vanilla ice cream with Grandpa.

Ain't one guy from his work said they couldn't come. Now he'd, a course, had ta invite Big Boss, cuz shit, ya know good n goddamn well, he was gonna find out 'bout the party, so ya know, had ta happen. He n the boys, they had 'em a little side bet goin' on 'bout who he'd be bringin', Mrs. Big Boss, or the Hot Honey.

The other one they was all makin' book on was Axel. Ya know, that guy, seemed like he could never keep a woman longer than a week. But he'd been in some kinda deal with a gal for like three or four months, ain't no one seen her yet, n they was all curious as all get out.

Now his sweet baby, she didn't want him ta have ta cook at the party, so Baby, Maggie and Mama Greene had fried up one gajillion pieces a chicken, there was a gimongus amount of mac n cheese, n all manner a other delicious food items.

Daryl had bought enough a every kinda alcoholic beverage, times two, that anyone could ever wanna drink.

In other words, kids, this party was gonna be all manner a large fun.

Now, just like you'd think, cuz I know ya know what's what, ya been knowing this group awhile now, Merle n Cindy arrived first, hot on their trail was Maggie and Glenn.

Oscar n Ruby arrived n they all knew poor old Oscar, he had a bad case a the nerves 'bout Mrs. Big Boss, specially since he ain't said one damn word ta Ruby 'bout what Mrs. Big Boss said ta him. He didn't want nuthin' ta fuck up this thing he had goin' on with Ruby, cuz, well ya know, he didn't want her ta decide it was his fault n cut him right off from that sweet lovin' she had ta give.

'Course Caesar n Karen, they arrived lookin' all put together n like a couple teenagers in love, now pay attention there kids, cuz there's yer example a long term love.

Things got interestin' for a minute when Abe n Rosita showed up. Oh my sweet Lord, I wish y'all could have seen Abe! He was wearin' them short swim trunks, and a tank top, and sandals with, that's right, white socks. Now Rosita, she looked hot like the woman always does. She had on a cute little beach cover-up type of dress, n some fancy sandals all kinds of adorned with seashells n whatnot. Why the hell don't she dress Abe better?

Well, whatever, I can't be concernin' myself with that. So anyway, Daryl and his Sweet Baby are standin' there by the side a the pool, n Abe n Rosita come right up n everyone says "Hello" n Daryl n Abe they shake hands, n Beth n Rosita give each other a hug. And then doesn't Abe just open his mouth n say ta Daryl, "We're gonna try not ta go all Dixon on ya n start any fights." And doesn't Rosita just push that big ol' redhead right in the swimmin' pool, white socks n all. Then she just sashays herself over ta the fancy outdoor bar n gets herself a Pina Colada.

Abe was a kissin' her ass the rest a the day n evenin', cuz ya know, whether he wants ta admit it or not, the woman is carryin' his balls around in her handbag.

Well don't ya know, all the gang was a showin' up, them n their women, Daryl, he just loved that his sweet baby thought a doin' this party, n put all this work into it, cuz well, all y'all know, ain't nuthin' a Dixon loves more than a good party, well, except a course a whole lotta good lovin.

So everyone was a drinkin' n eatin' chicken, n all manner a other snacks, n clothes was a startin' ta come off n guests was startin' ta jump in that pool n his sweet baby was in that tiny little flowered bikini, n he might a been a little worried about that, 'cept she wasn't leavin' his side, and she had her hand on his ass, n he had his hand on her ass, n he may have had one little wayward finger down in the back a that tiny little bikini bottom, but that there? That's a story for another day boys n girls.

So just guess who shows up then. Ya don't know, do ya? Okay, I'ma tell ya, it was Axel, n Axel had his woman with him, n he was introducin' her 'round, n everyone was all happy ta meet her n stuff, but guess what kids, I know, ya can't even imagine this, but his woman? It was Dr. Carol. Well Beth n Daryl, they was speechless, specially Daryl, cuz ya know, he couldn't imagine a woman like Dr. Carol wantin' ta keep company with a less educated man. Not that there was one fuckin' thing wrong with Axel, he was a real stand up kinda guy, it was just that Daryl, he always thought them over educated people only wanted ta mingle with other over educated people. See there? Ya learn sumthin' new every day.

So y'all know how things can get when the gang is all enjoyin' copious amounts of adult beverages, n the weather is hot, n the pool is cool, n women are wearin' suits that ain't coverin' up too much a nuthin'. So what I'm gettin' at here is every one was havin' a big time.

Abe he was a walkin' round in the pool with Rosita on his shoulders and she was a drinkin' them Pina Coladas and he was drinking beer, n the way he had that one big ol' hand wrapped 'round behind his head, with a tight squeeze on her ass, they both looked real happy.

Now Oscar's woman, Ruby, she don't know how ta swim a lick, well so, she had her legs wrapped 'round Oscar's waist, n her arms wrapped around his neck, n he had his hands holdin' firm ta the low of her back. Oscar, he's a big man with big love for his woman.

But what was amusin' n confusin' Daryl n Beth more than anythin' else happenin' was the way Dr. Carol just seemed ta be all lovin' Axel, like he was the end all n be all a men. He was gettin' a little handsy, ya know, when he thought no one was a lookin', but shit, like I told ya before, someone's always lookin'. Thing was though, the doc didn't seem ta mind even one little bit.

When they kinda disappeared out in the woods together for a while, wasn't no doubt in any Dixon mind what was happenin'.

So, ya know, the party, it had been in full swing for, hell, musta been a couple or three hours, when guess who comes a walkin' in? Okay, I ain't gonna make ya guess. It was Big Boss n he was with Mrs. Big Boss. Well now, that ain't the big news, there was two things that was the really big news, n that was Mrs. Big Boss' titties. Now, grant ya, she'd already had a large set goin' on, but it seems in the few weeks since they all seen her at the shop, she'd had them titties enlarged. Ya ain't never seen nuthin' like it kids, I ain't lyin', it was like she had a set a big pink torpedoes on her chest.

N damn, she wasn't wearin' a whole lot either. She had a tiny little bikini, it wasn't just too small, damn thing was maybe, just maybe, designed ta be worn by a slightly younger woman than Mrs. Big Boss. She had on a tiny little beach cover-up, but she may as wella left that sucker home, cuz it was see through n didn't even cover down ta her ass anyways. N just ta complete her look, she had on a pair a spike heels that would rival any pair ol' Cindy might own.

So now, don't they walk on inta the backyard, n don't Mrs. Big Boss waltz right over ta Oscar, practically shove them big ol' titties in his face n say, "That offer's still good Oscar." Damn, poor ol' Oscar, his eyes got the size a saucers, n I swear, he started ta sweat. Thank God his Ruby had been powderin' her nose, but then she come out, n damn, she saw Mrs. Big Boss talkin' ta her man, n didn't sweet Ruby go right on up ta Oscar, n wrap her arms 'round his neck, grab the back of his head n pull him down into a kiss that was hotter than fuck, I ain't lyin'. Oscar had ta adjust his swim trunks after that. Then she just steps back n innocently looks from Oscar ta Mrs. Big Boss n says, "Oscar, Baby, are ya gonna introduce me ta your friend?" In the meantime, y'all can bet Ruby's arm is tight around her big man, n she ain't leavin' no doubt, that big man is off limits. Now I don't know 'bout y'all, but I'm bettin' someone filled Ruby in on what Mrs. Big Boss had said ta Oscar that day.

So now, after they say their 'Hellos' Mrs. Big Boss goes over n spreads her towel down on one a them chaise lounges. She lays down on her belly n she unties those strings on that minuscule bikini top. Now Big Boss, he rubs some kinda oil all over her back, n the back a her legs, n ain't no one there don't see him cop a feel.

Then Big Boss goes over ta the bar n he gets hisself n Mrs. Big Boss each giant plastic Pineapple cups n don't he fill 'em full a ice cubes, n don't he make them each a Mai Tai, n then don't he walk back over ta where she's layin' with one a them Mai Tai's in each hand, n don't he catch his toe on the leg a his lounge chair, nearly fall completely forward, n dump both a them icy beverages all over Mrs. Big Boss' ass n back. Yep, that's just what happened.

Now Mrs. Big Boss, she flies right up offa that lounge, 'course that tiny little bikini top, it hits the ground, n them big ol' nekked pink torpedoes are just stickin' right out there for the world ta see, n don't she just have her hands on her hips, n don't she just start yellin' at Big Boss n callin' him every manner a name a man never wants ta be called.

N it seemed kinda odd, cuz ya know, most a the fellas, they'd a tried ta cover up their woman, wouldn't a wanted no one ta see their woman's nekked titties 'cept for them. But Big Boss, he just stood there in front of her, while she yelled at him, chewed his ass up, like he likes that.

Now none a the other fellas seen that part, cuz ya know, these here boys, they may not be over-educated, but they also ain't complete fuckin' idiots, sheesh. None a them was interested in gettin' cut off at home. So they'd all just taken one good look, then turned themselves 'round n just looked at their wives, ya know, like they only had eyes for them an all.

Things calmed down, n the party got back in full swing, n now there really started ta be a lotta serious touchy feely goin' on, n all manner a couples sneakin' off inta the woods. Why the party didn't shut down 'til just about midnight. Who has a 12 hour party?! The Dixons, that's who!

There were all manner a agin' parents n surly teenagers, n even a few cab drivers, pickin' up the party goers n takin' 'em on home. There wasn't a one of 'em didn't say it was the best party they ever been to. Even Mrs. Big Boss.

Now Daryl, he'd been the perfect host all fuckin' day, even though there was nuthin' the man wanted more than ta lay down that Sweet Baby n show her how much he loved her, he'd resisted. But now he grabbed her up n carried her sweet little tight ass inta that bedroom a theirs n they practically broke the fuckin' bed they had so much damn love ta give each other. N a course, they was tellin' each other about how they was the best couple ever, how they throw the best parties in the whole fuckin' solar system, n he was tellin' his sweet baby how she had the best, the tightest, the sexiest body in the universe, n she was a tell' him how he was the best damn lover any woman had ever had, n she was so lucky it was her n only her he wanted ta love.

In the meantime, Merle n Cindy, and Maggie n Glenn was in the livin' room n Merle just kept crankin' up the stereo so they wouldn't all have ta listen ta that bullshit.

Okay, but that ain't why I'm here, that ain't what I come here ta tell ya, no kids, that ain't it.

Here's how it all unfolded…Daryl n Beth they come outta the bedroom in the mornin'. Daryl fixed every one a them one a his can't-be-beat Bloody Mary's. Then didn't Cindy say, "No thanks, I'm not drinkin'." And didn't Daryl say, "Since when did ya ever turn down one a my Bloodies Cindy?"

N that's when Merle took him a deep swallow a air n said, "My Cindy's in the family way."

That damn night at the Hard Times Bar, all a that hard fightin' n hard lovin', well ya know, Daryl wasn't the only one forgot ta wear his raincoat.

A/N No I didn't make it up, ya can't make this stuff up. Thanks for reading, please review xo