Hello again, hope you enjoy this cute little update I wrote because I am bored ! Title is lyrics taken from 'Somebody to Love' by Queen.
R x
NB – 'fag' is slang for a cigarette in the UK and Ireland.
They had been back at school for nearly two weeks and Remus was beginning to wonder why January had such a reputation of being the longest and worst month of the year. He was quickly discovering that as much as he already thought he could hardly keep his hands off Sirius, it was nothing to how he felt now. And much to Remus's pleasure, it seemed that Sirius felt the exact same about him, if not even more so. Remus began to spend any spare minute he had thinking of Sirius, and daydreaming about Sirius, and staring at Sirius. He was possibly even more obsessed than he had been before that glorious night on New Year's Eve.
Since sleeping with Sirius, Remus felt himself letting go of a tension he was not even aware he had around their friends. Although Lily, James and Peter knew of his and Sirius's relationship, Remus had still felt as if he could not act as relaxed together around them for fear of making them uncomfortable. He knew this was most likely an irrational thought, but his brain was always so used to over thinking and worrying about any possibility. Somehow after crossing a physical barrier in his relationship with Sirius, it was as if an emotional wall was broken through as well.
It became common for Sirius to curl up around Remus in his bed, even before the lights were out or the curtains closed, and Remus found himself becoming increasingly familiar with this routine. In the evenings when the five of them sat in the common room, often joined by Alice, Frank and Marlene, Remus and Sirius sat closer than they had dared before. Sirius would rest his thigh lightly on top of Remus's foot that was tucked up beside him and when they laughed, they had begun to lean toward each other, as if the sense of the other's happiness were a beacon on a stormy night. Remus had even started to not shy away from Sirius's subtle affectionate touches in front of their friends. When Sirius swept away a strand of hair from Remus's forehead, instead of shying away and looking at his feet, Remus leaned into the feel, closing his eyes for a second to savour the love of it.
Whilst Remus's new-found extra affection for Sirius grew more and more every day, his complete obsession for his boyfriend was becoming detrimental to his homework that his teachers were setting at an alarming rate. In a bid to finally get on top of his workload to ease his stressed mind, Remus had skipped dinner one evening to go to the library. Remus was sitting at his favourite desk in a quiet corner and had just settled into a gruelling Potions essay whenever he sensed Sirius in the room.
'Well don't you just look as great as ever.'
'Hello Padfoot,' Remus said quietly, silently cursing himself for not finding a better hiding place. He refused to let his eyes leave his essay.
'Are your books honestly sexier than me?' Sirius drawled as he pulled out the seat on Remus's right, slouching down onto it and slinging his arm over the back of Remus's chair.
'Well yes, obviously. You know just how hot they get me,' Remus quipped back, still scribbling down notes and trying to not let Sirius's breath in his ear distract him.
'Mm yes I do, but I know something that gets you even hotter,' Sirius said, and before Remus could say anything further, Sirius had slipped to his knees below the table.
'Oh,' Remus exhaled, his cheeks immediately burning scarlet as Sirius began to do something Remus never imagined happening in among his precious books. He hissed at Sirius, 'We are in the library.'
Sirius only hummed in response which did nothing to help the situation. In the next second, Remus was getting a fully-fledged-taking-no-prisoners blow job right there in his favourite library spot. Many thoughts ran through his mind, initially along the lines of Madame Pince is going to walk round that corner any second and Oh my god what if some of my poor first years need me for help and they catch me getting corrupted this way or I really hope none of my books get ruined. These musings were quickly erased, however, his brain being unable to concentrate on much else apart from clutching onto the edge of the table and not letting a moan escape his lips.
After what seemed like an eternity, Remus reached a sweet end. He let a long breath out of his lungs as he finally relaxed back into his chair. Sirius re-did Remus's trousers before climbing back up onto the chair beside his boyfriend. Remus had a bead of sweat on his forehead which Sirius leaned over to wipe off and as he did so, Remus caught a glimpse of the mischievous sparkle in Sirius's eye and the cheeky grin wide on his lips.
'I might hex you into eternity,' Remus said.
'Well only if you come with me so we can continue doing things like this,' Sirius replied, once again dropping his arm over the back of Remus's chair.
'I hate you for submitting my lovely books to such a display,' Remus said with perhaps a hint of genuineness. 'And how am I supposed to sit here with Lily ever again knowing that just happened.'
'You'll get over it, stop being so dramatic. Besides, you love me and you'll love me even more after this.'
Sirius leant over to his bag that was sitting on the floor beside him. Remus watched him lazily, admiring how Sirius's shirt rode up at the back while he leaned, showing off his soft skin. After some rustling in his bag, Sirius turned back to Sirius holding a bar of Honeydukes chocolate in his hand.
'For you, my dear,' Sirius said, planting a kiss to Remus's cheek.
'Thank you Padfoot,' Remus smiled, happily accepting the chocolate along with the chaste kiss.
'You can't skip dinner you know, it'll only make your concentration worse,' Sirius said jokingly, although Remus knew there was probably an element of sincere worry in his statement.
'Well thank you for making sure my sugars stay nice and aligned, but if you'll excuse me now, I really do need to get some of this work done. I feel like all our teachers are just torturing us for fun,' Remus moaned as a bought of anxiety shot through him.
'Maybe if you didn't put so much pressure on yourself then you wouldn't feel so tortured,' Sirius admonished as he fished a few of his own textbooks and bits of parchment out of his bag. 'And if you don't mind I think I'll stay, thanks. I have a bit of catching to do myself and not sure if you know or not but my really sexy boyfriend has a habit of worrying himself to death, so I'd like to give him some moral support.'
'Well as long as you don't distract your really sexy boyfriend with any more tactics then I'm sure you can stay just fine.'
'Hey, I'll only use my tactics of distraction if I feel my really sexy boyfriend needs a stress release.'
Remus didn't respond but he shot a grateful smile over at Sirius, the anxious knot in his stomach indeed feeling slightly loosened. Sirius reached over and squeezed Remus's hand for a second before settling down to study for a Charms practical assignment that week. Remus allowed himself another moment to feel so incredibly lucky for having found someone to understand and love him so much before turning back to his much less adoring Potions homework.
They had been studying for around twenty minutes, with Sirius surprising Remus by actually concentrating on his work and letting Remus concentrate on his when Lily appeared in front of them, her arms hugging a pile of books to her chest. Remus glanced up at her, giving her a brief smile and trying not to think about what Sirius and had been doing in that spot less than half an hour before. Lily shot a quizzical look at Sirius, who seemed to have not noticed her presence yet.
'Remus,' Lily whispered loudly, 'there's an intruder beside you.'
Remus huffed out a laugh and Sirius finally looked up, his face splitting into a fake smile at Lily's sarcasm. She gave a genuine smile back at him whilst she set her books down on the table, organising them in order of priority. She flicked her thick red hair over her shoulder as she lifted her own Potions textbook and poised her quill on the parchment.
'Surprised you have time to study what with all the shagging you and Prongs are doing,' Sirius said, pulling a disgusted face. Remus smiled amusedly, thinking it was pretty ironic of Sirius to tease James and Lily, who Remus was almost certain had not even had sex yet.
'Ha ha,' Lily rolled her eyes at Sirius as she turned her head to her parchment. 'Rich of you to say, Black. And while we're on the topic of shagging, can you please tell Marlene you're no longer interested or something. She's driving me crazy, asking why you don't snog her at any given opportunity anymore.'
Sirius cleared his throat awkwardly and Remus swallowed thickly, keeping his head down but could feel the back of his neck burning. He knew Sirius clearly had no more interest in Marlene, or anyone for that matter. It did not mean Remus still didn't find his feelings slightly hurt or spirits dampened any time Marlene sidled up to Sirius at a party in the Common Room or even just on a regular Tuesday afternoon behind the troll tapestry, a pout ready on her lips.
'We were never – you know – together, not properly. Do I have to?' Sirius questioned. Remus could sense Sirius sitting slightly more tense, his knee no longer pressed gently against Remus's under the table.
'Yes Black, if anything just to get her to stop bothering me about it. Besides, you do sort of owe it to her. You were practically snogging her – and god knows what else – for two solid years.'
Remus pretended he had not heard this, not daring to let his mind sink into a hole of what Sirius and Marlene has done. Maybe even in this very seat Remus sat in. If Sirius had done it with him – nerdy, scared, strange Remus – why wouldn't he have done it with Marlene?
'Alright fine,' Sirius sighed, 'But what am I supposed to say? Sorry Marlene, can't shag anymore, I'm actually a giant poofter?'
Sirius and Lily continued their argument while Remus blinked, his heart sinking. He knew it was silly, of course Remus wasn't Sirius's first. His boyfriend was so confident and assured of himself; he always seemed to know exactly what he was doing in everything the two of them did together. Sirius was seventeen and had always been so attractive with his high cheekbones, his hard jaw line and smooth hair. There was no way Sirius would have avoided other people's attention in all their years at Hogwarts. And although he knew it was irrational, but a small voice in the back of Remus's head told him that of course what he and Sirius were doing was wrong – that it was dirty and sinful – that of course Sirius was going to be ashamed of their relationship and of Remus.
Remus was embarrassed to find his Potions essay swimming in front of him as his eyes filled with tears, his mind tumbling and turning over and over. He cleared his throat and began to pack his things away, making a very deliberate effort to not look at Sirius or Lily, not wanting either of them to know how pathetic he was.
'Oh Remus I'm sorry, I didn't mean –' Lily began.
'Moony, don't –' Sirius reached out an affectionate hand to Remus's shoulder, but Remus slipped away from him as he stood from his seat.
'It's fine, it's not you,' Remus lied, pulling his bag onto his shoulder and still looking round him, acting as if he was making sure he hadn't forgotten anything rather than making it obvious he was avoiding their eyes.
'Remus please stay, I can go and finish this in the common room. It's my fault, I shouldn't have interrupted,' Lily was begging and whilst Remus was irritated at Lily as she was usually much more perceptive than this, his annoyance lay with Sirius and bloody fabulous Marlene. Although deep down, he knew it was really just his own head.
'C'mon, mate please,' Sirius said.
'Oh it's mate now?' Remus snapped, finally finding Sirius's eyes, not knowing why he was so agitated and wound up and turning on Sirius like this. The full moon was still a few nights away.
'I didn't mean it like –'
'No well it wasn't mate half an hour ago when you were sucking me off under the table,' Remus whispered furiously, now unable to stop his thoughts and completely ignoring his dignity in front of Lily. He could see Sirius swallow and blink, obviously not having expected Remus to be as blunt. Lily sat staring at the table in front of her.
'Remus don't be like this,' Sirius pleaded, but Remus had already turned and left. 'Thanks a lot Evans.' He heard Sirius spit at Lily before he was out of ear shot.
'Hey, you're back sooner –'
'Where's Moony?'
James frowned at Sirius's tone.
'I dunno mate, haven't seen him since lunch.'
'For fuck sake!' Sirius exclaimed, chucking his bag off his shoulder and onto his bed.
'Why, what's happened?' James asked.
'You're bloody girlfriend is what fucking happened,' Sirius jabbed an accusatory finger at James who was sitting at the end of his bed polishing his broom. Peter lay on his belly on his bed, trying to complete an essay for Transfiguration. He eyed Sirius and James with trepidation.
'Hey,' James said indignantly, his frown deepening, 'there's no need for that.'
'Oh really? Tell her to keep her nose out of my business and that Marlene can go fuck herself,' Sirius said angrily. James's face had fallen into an 'O' shape. Sirius spun on his heel to look at Peter. 'Now where the fuck is Moony?!'
'I don't know either,' Peter shrugged, sitting up from his book. 'I thought he'd gone to the library.'
'Where's the Map?' Sirius asked the room at random.
'Pretty sure Moony took it earlier because he was wanting to avoid Snivellous,' Peter answered nervously, not wanting to be on the receiving end of Sirius's temper.
Sirius let out a grunt of frustration before turning and storming right back out of the room again. He raged down the stairs back to the common room before striding across and back out of the portrait hole. Sirius was so mad at Lily for bringing the conversation up, never mind bringing it up in front of Remus. Sirius still felt so much guilt for that night he'd snogged Marlene in front of Remus all those months ago. Although he was equally as annoyed at Remus for being so irrational and taking it all so personally. What did his and Marlene's anything have to do with him and Remus? It was all in the past now.
Underneath all his rage, Sirius just wanted to find Remus. By the time he had stuffed his things into his bag and chased after Remus, he had already disappeared. Sirius should have known he wouldn't have gone back to the dorm, Remus would want to be alone when his mind was bothering him like it was. Sirius slowed down beside the statue of the witch that led to Honeydukes cellar as he tried to think where Remus might have gone. Sirius ran his hand through his hair, a trait he had picked up from James and thought about how much he'd like a cigarette. He sighed angrily, briefly pondering to himself that he'd thought going out with a bloke meant he wouldn't have had to put up with the stress of nonsensical emotions.
'Sirius?'
The sound of Remus's voice made Sirius's head snap up. Remus was standing halfway down the staircase in front of him.
'Remus,' Sirius started down the stairs.
'Sirius I'm sorry, I was being ridiculous.'
'Remus where even were you?' Sirius slammed into Remus and held him in a tight hug. The corridors were deserted as it was nearing curfew by this time, but in that moment, Sirius didn't even care if anyone spotted them.
'I went to the kitchens for food but halfway there realised how ridiculous I was being,' Remus explained, pulling away from Sirius to look at him. 'It's just in my head, I dunno.'
'No no, I'm sorry. You weren't being ridiculous,' Sirius shook his head. 'Evans shouldn't have brought it up, and especially not in front of you.'
'It's okay, I get it. And I know why you can't exactly tell her why you're not interested anymore.'
'Well as long as you know that I'm definitely not interested in her then that's the main thing.'
Remus gave Sirius a small smile and looked down at his feet. Sirius admired how Remus's sandy coloured hair fell down over his face, how his hands were nervously playing with the strap of his shoulder bag which was threatening to burst with all of his books. Sirius put a hand on the top of Remus's arm.
'We can talk about it if you like?'
Remus gave a small shake of his head. 'It's fine.'
He looked up at him and Sirius raised a disbelieving eyebrow at him.
'It is!' Remus insisted with a laugh.
'Alright then,' Sirius said, letting his hand drop from Remus's arm. They stood there on the stairs staring at each other, in a strange sort of silence, neither of them quite knowing what to say or when to speak. Sirius thought of how strange relationships were – how just six months ago he and Remus would not have even thought of having an argument like this. But then six months ago he was still snogging Marlene at parties and in empty corridors. He supposed a lot could change in six months. Merlin, he'd love a fag.
'You want a cigarette?' Remus broke the oddly tense silence between them.
Sirius's face broke into a wide grin.
'You read my mind Lupin,' Sirius slung an arm round Remus's shoulders and directed them both up the stairs in the direction of the Astronomy tower, 'And that is why we are soul mates and why I will never be shacked up with some smelly girl, and especially not Marlene.'
'Don't push your luck, Black,' Remus smirked at him, elbowing him in the side.
At the top of the stairs, Sirius grabbed Remus by the front of his shirt and brought their mouths together. Remus let out a shocked sound and Sirius could feel the surprised smile on Remus's face. He didn't care anyone could see them at any second, all he cared about was Remus.
A shocked gasp came from Sirius's right and Remus pulled away instantly, stepping backwards and his face flushing a bright red. Sirius turned his head to where the sound had come from and let out a loud guffaw of laughter when he saw Marlene standing in front of them. She blinked a few times, as if trying to see the two people in front of her more clearly. Remus was looking at the ground, his hand rubbing the back of his neck nervously. Marlene continued to gape between Remus and Sirius as Sirius leaned casually against the castle wall. Eventually she turned and walked the opposite direction, leaving without having said a word.
'At least she knows now,' Sirius smirked at Remus, who shyly met his eyes. Sirius could see Remus's mind working in overdrive and cut him off just before he spoke, 'Cigarette?'
He nudged Remus's shoulder with his own as he walked past him, grabbing his hand on the way.
