Is everyone ready? Mewtwo asked. Nothing left to pick up back here?
"Nope, got everything," Dawn said. "Ash, shouldn't you return Absol? Or take your hat off?"
Miracle Eye, Mewtwo reminded her. Next stop, Pastoria.
The area around them flickered, and suddenly they were in Pastoria City – the hills rolling away towards the uplands, and in the other direction the great marsh spreading out towards the horizon.
Dawn winced at the sudden change in air temperature. "Wow, you forget how much the weather can be different hundreds of miles away..."
"Thanks, Mewtwo," Ash said. "Do you want to stay out, or go back in your ball?"
I'll stay out, thank you, Mewtwo requested. I don't think I've actually visited Pastoria as a tourist, it'll be interesting to have a look around.
"How did you teleport here, then?" Brock asked.
I memorize GPS coordinates, Mewtwo told him. Technically speaking a teleporter only needs a specific unambiguous location, they don't have to have been there.
He floated a foot or so into the air. Now, I'm going to-
Mewtwo paused, looking around, then shrugged. Apparently I'm going to hold an impromptu book signing.
Ash and the others looked around, seeing people starting to form a queue.
"We'll leave you to it," Ash decided.
"Maybe I should write a book," Lucario suggested, as they headed off for the part of town that held the local Gym. "It could be a tell-all book about what it's like fighting Team Galactic."
"Problem there," Pikachu noted. "Nobody would be able to read it."
"Nobody reads a lot of famous books," Lucario countered. "Especially if they're printed in a slightly out of focus font in eight-point type. If I do it right, even people who can remember the plot won't make it all the way to the end."
"This is a new side of you," Pikachu noted.
"Yes, the academic life might just be for me," Lucario went on. "I understand you can put 'personal conversation' in your citations and nobody can really question it."
"What are you two talking about?" Latios asked, baffled.
"I think these conversations start without any real goal in mind," Lucario confided. "Then continue without one too, and end… yeah, without any real goal in mind."
"That does explain a lot," Latios muttered to himself. "You two are really good friends by now, huh?"
"We've been through a lot together," Pikachu agreed. "It's kind of interesting to think we're now into the bit where he could have travelled with us last time, if he'd joined us back after we rescued him..."
"I'd still be a Riolu, though," Lucario pointed out. "I – hey, wait, that's Paul."
"Paul?" Ash repeated. "Oh, yeah, there he is."
"Ash," Paul said, with a nod. "Here to challenge Crasher Wake?"
"Well, probably," Ash replied. "We had… a lot of trouble a couple of days ago, so that's a bit up in the air at the moment."
He looked at Paul more closely, frowning, then closed one eye.
Paul glanced at Brock. "Should this make sense?"
"It… looks like I can't remind you any more," Ash said. "We kind of thought that might happen, but now it's confirmed."
Paul shrugged. "I wasn't going to change my mind, anyway."
He paused, looking like he was about to say something else, then shrugged and headed off.
"That went well," Dawn observed, as Paul's distant figure paused at the crowd of people after an autograph from Mewtwo. "Comparatively."
"How did you know you couldn't remind Paul?" Brock checked.
"There's always been this odd glow around people I could remind," Ash replied. "It's gone now. I guess I could have tested it, to make sure, but like he said he still doesn't want to be reminded – so I wanted to respect that. And… you know, if he did have his memories and he could see Galactic, he still wouldn't be able to help much because he wouldn't have any Pokémon who could."
"I wonder what Paul's reaction would be if you told him you'd lend him a team of strong Pokémon, but he had to get Reminded first – and use them to battle Team Galactic," Lucario said, mostly to himself. "I mean, it's probably not a good idea..."
"Would you volunteer?" Pikachu asked.
"Nope," Lucario responded promptly. "Fair enough."
"Aha! There you are!"
Everyone turned to look back in the direction Paul had come, and saw Crasher Wake hurrying over.
"I've been wondering when you'd show up!" the bombastic Water-type Gym Leader announced. "Ash Ketchum, I challenge you to a match!"
"Isn't it usually the other way around?" Dawn asked. "I'm pretty sure the trainer challenges the gym."
"Usually!" Crasher Wake agreed. "But you've got so much energy I can't help myself! It's a real crashendo of enthusiasm, and force, like a wave crashing against the beach!"
Ash raised a hand. "Mr… Mr. Wake? In this metaphor, which of us is the beach?"
"It doesn't matter!" Crasher Wake declared. "I'm the wave, but you can be a wave as well!"
"I'm a Wave Guiding Pokémon," Lucario volunteered. "Does that count?"
"The ring is my roiling sea!" Crasher Wake explained – or declared, or possibly sang, it was hard to tell. "The towering waves shaped me-"
He caught himself with some effort. "But that's for when we meet in the ring! I'll be waiting!"
"That guy was kind of like Squirtle," Gible said to himself, then looked over at Pikachu. "Don't you think?"
"There is a bit of a resemblance," Pikachu agreed, thinking about it. "But there's definitely differences as well. I think Crasher Wake is more of a wrestler."
"What are they like?" Gible asked, interested.
"I understand the answer to that is… a bit mad?" Pikachu suggested. "Anyone know much about wrestling? Neither of us knows… Piplup, why are you hiding behind Togekiss?"
"You know very well why!" Piplup replied, glaring daggers at Gible.
"Are you going to be doing that for the entire time we're travelling together?"
"Is he going to blow me up every time he uses that attack?"
"Hey, I'm working on it!" Gible said, sounding hurt. "And it's useful if you go missing..."
"I'm going to try my very best not to get lost, then!"
"Wouldn't you be trying that anyway?" Dawn asked.
Piplup shrugged.
"All right!" Crasher Wake declared, as soon as Ash entered. "Let's get ready to rumble!"
He pointed at the pool. "Three rounds! Three Pokémon! Absolutely no part of the arena except the water and the air above it is allowed! Leaving the ring – I mean, the pool – is forbidden!"
Cheers and chants filled the room. "Wake! Wake! Wake!"
"And stop that!" he added, shooting a look at the spectator gallery. The one person there waved a finger at his Chatot, who stopped and looked embarrassed.
"Hey, Ash!" the spectator called. "Didn't expect to see you here!"
"Jackie, right?" Ash called back. "I didn't expect to see you either!"
"Yeah, I'm just passing through," Jackie explained. "A local Croagunk went missing yesterday, Chatot and I had to find her and bring her back, and I don't have a mission today."
He got up, leaning on the rail. "It'll be interesting to see how you challenge a gym, though!"
"Thanks," Ash smiled, then went through his Pokéballs. "Hmmm… okay, I know who to start with."
Crasher Wake got his own first Pokéball ready, and they sent their Pokémon out at the same time. Wake's Floatzel emerged first, jack-knifing into the water with a splash, and Ash's Totodile flipped once in the air before diving in as well.
"...wait, so… ah, so much for being able to watch," Jackie sighed.
Under the surface of the rippling water, Totodile twisted around. He considered his options, then fired a Water Pulse at Floatzel – only to watch the otter-like Pokémon inflate his flotation ring to deflect the attack.
"Hey, that's pretty cool!" he said. "I didn't know you could do – whoah!"
Totodile turned tail and swam for it, avoiding the whirling Whirlpool which Floatzel sent at him, then twisted about to swim along with the movement of the whirlpool and gain speed. That let him smack into Floatzel at speed, though Wake's Pokémon blocked with an Ice Punch and avoided most of the damage.
Getting distant again to avoid taking a hit, Totodile swam for the water's surface and burst out into the air – hanging there for a moment before splashing down again, about at the middle of the pool.
"What should I do?" he asked. "I'm not nearly as good at dancing under water!"
"Okay, um – right!" Ash realized. "Use your water attacks to push him around!"
Totodile nodded, plunged back into the water, then got launched right back out again by Floatzel as he used Aqua Jet – hefting both Pokémon into the air, so Floatzel could twist around to grab Totodile by the tail and throw him at the ground.
Totodile thrashed to avoid being held too tightly, using Thunder Fang to send a jolt of electricity through both of them, and by the time Floatzel had a grip good enough to throw Totodile they were too low for Wake's Pokémon to actually ring-out Totodile with it. He tried, sending the reptilian Water-type sailing through the air, but Totodile used a burst of Water Gun to correct his trajectory and splash down safely into the pool.
As soon as he hit, Totodile went deeper – swimming fast, tail thrashing from side to side – and targeted Floatzel, before using Hydro Pump.
The attack worked a bit differently underwater, and eddies and vortex currents developed as Totodile ramped it up to full power. His tail glowed as he used Superpower just to stay in place, rolling his neck to keep it so he was directing the powerful water jet at Floatzel despite the quick swimming of the other Water-type, and Floatzel's attempt to close in to use Ice Fang quickly ran into problems because of the sheer force of the water current flowing away from Totodile.
"Um… should that be happening?" Brock asked.
Crasher Wake followed where Brock was pointing, looking at the side of the pool – where the water level was obviously rising, quite quickly.
"Not really, no," he replied. "That Totodile has quite a water flow on him – looks like we find out if the overflow drain works!"
Straining to hold himself in place against the recoil pressure of his own Hydro Pump, Totodile inched back towards the wall.
The problem was, it was actually pushing him more than it was pushing Floatzel, and his tail was already just a very short distance away from the wall of the pool…
Screwing up his eyes, he stopped using Superpower on his tail. The recoil sent him slamming into the wall of the pool, and changing the angle of his Hydro Pump let him slide down the smooth tiling towards one of the lower corners of the pool.
Once there, he held himself wedged in place, and could devote all his attention to how to actually damage Floatzel. So he used Ice Fang, supercooling the water as it passed his muzzle, and making the temperature of the whole pool drop.
The part which was aimed directly at Floatzel began to freeze, smacking Wake's Pokémon with a barrage of ice chunks, and Floatzel swam away from the line of fire before powering towards Totodile by using Aqua Jet for extra speed.
Totodile changed his angle of attack, and Floatzel jinked to the side – then smacked into Totodile with an Ice Punch, before getting clear again by using the Hydro Pump jet Totodile was maintaining.
That suddenly gave Totodile an idea.
Jaw aching a bit from sustained use, he watched as Floatzel came in on the attack again. The attempt to catch Floatzel out worked as poorly as the first time, but as soon as Floatzel reached him Totodile switched attacks.
To Hydro Cannon.
The pool surface suddenly erupted, a massive diagonal plume of water exploding out and utterly drenching the spectator gallery.
Jackie dove to the side, managing to get out of the way of most of the water blast, and Chatot hid behind a seat and only got splashed… but the standing water on the gallery floor was briefly over a foot deep, soaking the Pokémon Ranger before the water drained away in a spectacular cascade through any nook and cranny it could find.
As the water receded, it left Wake's Floatzel sitting neatly in one of the spectator seats.
Wake shrugged. "Ring out! Round one goes to Ash Ketchum!"
As Ash considered his second Pokémon out, Mewtwo appeared with a flicker of light.
Did I miss much? the Psychic-type asked, floating serenely up to the observation gallery. It seems very wet.
"Well, the first battle did that," Ash replied, returning Totodile. "How was the book signing?"
Well, there were originally just a few people with copies of my book – apparently there was a book club meeting going on in a nearby cafe, Mewtwo explained. But then the nearest bookshops brought out all their copies of my book, so I was delayed a bit longer.
He waved a hand, wicking all the water off one of the seats, and placed himself in it before turning to the stunned-looking Floatzel next to him. How's it going?
Floatzel gave him a dull look, then shook his head a little to recover. Taking his tails in both hands, he wrung them out and sent a dribble of water to the floor of the observation area.
Shrugging, Mewtwo levitated the little ball of water he'd drawn up back into the pool. As he did, Ash finalized his selection, and Kingler splashed into the pool.
Then Crasher Wake sent out his Sharpedo.
Splashing into the water, Kingler let himself sink a bit until his legs hit the hard floor of the pool. Almost immediately Sharpedo smashed into him with an Aqua Jet attack, forcing Kingler to brace all his legs against the floor, then flicked away at speed before Kingler could counterattack.
Annoyed, Kingler scuttled backwards until he was backed against the wall – using the same trick as Totodile to reduce the dimensions of possible attack by his enemy. Another high-speed pass came in, this time a Crunch, and Kingler held his attack for a moment before firing off a Crabhammer.
The force of his pincers clacking together produced a little bubble of steam, which expanded until it was crushed by the water around it. The collapse in turn created a powerful explosion, blasting out in all directions from the contact point, and knocked Sharpedo skidding three-dimensionally through the water so his Crunch just grazed Kingler's carapace.
Undeterred, Sharpedo swirled around twice at increasing speed before halting suddenly and launching a stream of rocks at his opponent. Kingler was a little surprised, but blocked with both claws and caught one of the rocks in his powerful left pincer. Squeezing it, he waited – then swung it as Sharpedo came in for another run, and crushed the rock into fragments with a mighty cra-ara-aaack that echoed through the water.
This trick turned out not to matter much, as Sharpedo simply used Water Pulse to drive the fragments back at Kingler. He opened his mouth wide as well, using Psychic Fangs to attack Ash's Water-type, and managed to evade the worst of the Crabhammer explosion Kingler fired at him in retaliation.
"This is turning into quite a wet fight," Dawn said, half-raising her arm in automatic reflex as spray crashed down again. "Is that Sharpedo or Kingler?"
"Kingler, I think," Ash replied, closing his eyes to look through the poolside, then nodded. "Yeah, it's Kingler's underwater Crabhammer."
"Not often you have a Pokémon that's got that trick down!" Crasher Wake chuckled. "Or up, as the case may be!"
He laughed. "It's not often my opponents know what's going on better than I do! So, what is it, lad?"
"Well, um… it looks like Kingler managed to grab Sharpedo," Ash replied. "And now they're beating one another against the walls and floor."
He winced. "Ouch..."
Kingler emerged from the water, did a cartwheel, and splashed back down again. A few seconds later it was Sharpedo's turn to exit the pool, and rather than go crashing right back into the water he started to use Whirlpool.
Somehow this feels like a very strange movie, Dexter noted dispassionately.
Under the pool surface, Kingler winced as he felt the power of the forming Whirlpool.
The vortex developed rapidly, and Kingler began to use both claws to shoot Crabhammer pulses into it to try and disrupt it. His legs skittered slightly on the floor as he tried to prevent himself sliding sideways, then he lost the battle and lifted off.
It got a little hard for Kingler to tell what was going on, and he was spun completely around at least twice before managing to get his bearings. Almost as soon as he did, however, Sharpedo began attacking him by using the whirlpool's bubbles for cover – darting in, landing a Bite or a Crunch or a more esoteric Psychic Fangs, then dodging out of the way.
Kingler thought for a long moment, waving his claws around to fend off the attacks of the high speed shark, then used Surf. The water collected around his claws instead of firing off into the air, and he opened them both – waiting for a long moment, judging when the volume of water was just right.
Then he clacked both claws closed at once, blasting out sheets of water in all directions and breaking the whirlpool's integrity by overwhelming it with sheer mass.
Flipping around as Sharpedo dropped back into the water, Kingler pointed both claws straight down and used Hyper Beam. The torrent of energy hit the water and slapped concussive waves through it, sending almost all the water in the pool up in a four-second fountain which only ended when Kingler splashed back down in the much-diminished pool.
For a moment the water only came up to his eyeline, and Kingler targeted his claws in a hurry to smack Sharpedo with two more Crabhammers before the water would let the Dark-type swim away. The explosions knocked Sharpedo out of the water, but Kingler had aimed them with more care than to simply do that – the shark came sailing back down towards Kingler, who smacked him square on the nose with a Superpower and bounced him off the ceiling.
"What's going on?" Dawn asked, spluttering as she swiped at her face. "I got water in my eyes!"
"We all did!" Brock told her. "Make sure you don't lose your footing, I'm not sure how much is draining back into the pool and how much is going outside!"
Ash was the first to get a good view of what was going on as another massive wave of water assaulted them, draining the pool all over again, and he caught a glimpse of Kingler holding Sharpedo with all four legs and both claws.
The two Water-types dropped out of sight, and a moment later there was a pained piscine yelp from Sharpedo as they hit the nearly-dry pool bottom – Sharpedo first.
Crasher Wake snapped a pair of goggles on over his mask, looked into the pool, and frowned. "I could swear there was supposed to be more water in there..."
"Are you sure it's a good idea to keep doing this in here?" Brock asked, as Wake returned his Sharpedo. "Gyms don't generally last all that long around Ash."
Wake shook his head. "What kind of wrestler would I be if I used common sense?"
Leaving it at that, he went over to a nearby valve and turned it. There was a distant rushing sound, and water foamed out of vents high up in the pool to refill it.
"I'm actually impressed with how much water there was knocked out of the pool," Ash said, looking down at the water still draining away through the gym door.
"You're the only one who didn't get wet," Brock pointed out. "Except, you know, Mewtwo."
"Yeah, I spotted what was going on so I used Protect," Ash agreed. "It's pretty useful."
"You don't need to tell us twice..." Dawn muttered. "Any chance you could keep us dry next time, Mewtwo?"
Of course, Mewtwo agreed. I didn't want to spoil the experience – I'm still new to gym fights, this might have been part of the experience.
"Okay, that looks full enough," Crasher Wake decided, and shut off the valve. "Now, send out your final Pokémon!"
He threw his Pokéball as he spoke, and Ash threw his Safari Ball a moment later.
Tauros slammed down onto the pool with a whump, hooves sending out little ripples but treating the water like solid ground, and Crasher Wake gave the result a confused look.
"Hm..." he mused. "That's not very normal. Usually Pokémon sink or swim."
Tauros snorted at the idea, a few wisps of smoke coming out of his nostrils, then looked back at Ash. "The battle's started, right?"
"I guess?" Ash replied.
"Good," Tauros declared, and used Wild Charge.
A wall of opalescent light slammed down around the pool, containing the electrical charge so it didn't shock all the humans in the room, and Tauros winced as he realized his mistake. "Uh… sorry."
You're welcome, Mewtwo replied. Think about it first next time, though.
Nodding, Tauros turned his attention back to the battle – only to be slapped across the face with a hefty tail, one which drove him back a step and left watery rivulets running down his muzzle.
Frowning, Tauros checked that he was indeed electrifying the water, then caught sight of the other Pokémon – a Quagsire.
He didn't need to voice anything about his mistake, and instead began to run on the water to present a harder target. Water sprayed up where his hooves broke contact with the surface of the pool, and larger splashes erupted where the Ground-type flicked attacks up to try and hit the running bull.
Belatedly the Tauros remembered to turn off his Wild Charge, then skidded around in a turn to throw off his subaqua pursuer. Horns flaring with greenish-yellow light, he lanced a Solarbeam down into the water.
The result was immediate and very pretty, as Quagsire took a glancing hit from the attack and all the rest got reflected away by his bubble trail. Rainbow patterns danced across the gym roof until the Solarbeam cut out, and Tauros blinked a bit to recover his vision.
"Muddy Water!" Wake called. "Mess up that light beam!"
The water instantly turned a dingy brown, breaking Tauros' line of sight, and he began Stomping instead – hoping to at least keep Quagsire confused and disoriented by the repeated bursts of pressure.
"Now, you know, I'm not really a Normal guy," Crasher Wake said. "In either sense of the word. But I'm pretty sure that's not what a Tauros is supposed to be able to do."
He indicated Ash's Tauros, currently doing a Flamenco dance on the surface of the water.
"Yeah, my Tauros have kind of decided to become really versatile," Ash replied, as Mewtwo collapsed the shield now it looked unlikely electricity was going to make a return to the battle. "I don't really keep track a hundred percent, so I'm not sure if this is the same one I used before to walk on water..."
Tauros was too busy to reply, tails flicking back and forth as he trampled on the water surface, then switched to Outrage – massively amplifying the force of the impacts and sending splashes out in all directions beyond the limits of his water-walking area. This time the splashes didn't hit any of the humans, as Ash used Protect and Mewtwo established a psychic shield to cover the rest of them.
He covered the Pokémon, as well, because that was just good manners.
"Your Pokémon are impressively odd," Jackie noted. "Is he using his tails to do the castanets?"
"I think so, but it could be Tail Whip or something," Ash shrugged.
Quagsire came splashing out of the water, firing Water Pulses as he went, and Tauros got hit by four of them before the Water-type dropped back beneath the pool surface.
"This is really tricky," the Wild Bull Pokémon reported to his trainer. "I can't see where he is, because he's under the cloudy water."
"Then act like he's underground," Ash suggested. "I know you guys train for situations like that, I suggested it!"
"Good point!" Tauros agreed, rearing up, and used Earthquake.
The shockwave passed through the water with gusto, making the surface shiver back and forth in a chaotic pattern of ripples – and, predictably, making another giant sheet of water exit the pool and drench most of the room.
More surprisingly, Quagsire popped out of the water. This seemed to be quite a surprise to the salamander, and he just about avoided being hit by a Horn Attack from Tauros before plunging back to safety.
Seeing the solution, Tauros began to charge a Solarbeam, then reared up for another Earthquake.
Quagsire countered this by popping up through the muddy water next to Tauros' left hind leg and pushing on it, making the bovine Pokémon fall sideways to hit the water with a thump-splash.
Rolling, eyes now alight with irritation, Tauros snorted steam out of his nostrils before using Outrage again. The water rippled as he beat it like a drum, then he switched to the surprising choice of Rototiller to score parallel furrow-like lines in the water.
They lasted a moment only before fading away, but Tauros charged one of them and used it as a jumping-off point – getting nearly five feet in the air, before dropping back down with one glowing forehoof to form his first contact point.
Tauros used Fissure.
All the water was knocked out.
Ash raised his Protect shield automatically as the geyser crashed into him, but this time it wasn't enough – most of the water had been hefted so high it bounced off the ceiling, and quite a lot of it came over the lip of his shield to drench him from about knee height upwards.
There was just the sound of rushing water for a moment and a gloioi-oioing sound from his saturated ears, then sight and sound came back. Neither Tauros nor Quagsire were visible at first glance, and everyone else still looked wet from earlier but not nearly as recently soaked as Ash was.
"I guess Mewtwo thought you could handle yourself," Brock realized, seeing Ash's water-soaked state. "Wait, where'd the Pokémon go?"
Tauros came crashing back down through the roof, about ten feet from the hole he'd made on the way up, and landed with a wham on the poolside. Despite everything, he still looked hale enough to continue fighting, and when Quagsire landed squarely on his back he was about to – only for Wake to hold up his hand.
"Ring out!" the wrestler declared. "Quagsire wins that one! Ash wins two-one!"
"Are you the only dry Pokémon here?" Floatzel asked, wringing his tails out. "Or human?"
No, actually, there's at least one other, Mewtwo replied, and waved his hand.
Latios decloaked with a shimmer of blue light. "I was wondering if you'd notice."
Good effort making it so the water didn't pass through the area of your shield in the first place, but I spotted the change in the trajectories, Mewtwo confided. Still, very good effort – top marks.
Latios did a slow roll. "Thanks!"
"Latis are very good at hiding," Jackie observed. "You don't realize quite how good until you see this, though."
"My sister and I got a lot more experience than most," Latios said. "At least, I think we did. I've certainly never seen a Lati better than us at it."
"Ouch," Jackie winced. "That's psychic powers how you're speaking to me, right?"
"Yes," Latios confirmed.
Actually, maybe I should teach you how to create sound psychically, Mewtwo pondered. It'd make your disguise more convincing.
"Congratulations!" Crasher Wake declared. "Your fiery spirit has fought off my raging tidal wave! You've more than earned this!"
He hustled over to a large box by the side of the arena, and brought out a championship belt.
Ash looked at it, puzzled. "I… thought this was a badge fight?"
"Was it?" Wake asked, inspecting the belt. "I'm sure we agreed to something else."
"That was certainly a gym battle, of the type that would earn a badge," Lucario noted. "I'm pretty sure that for Ash to win a championship belt he'd have to beat you in wrestling."
"Oh, right," Wake mumbled, seeming a bit put out.
He brightened. "Would you be interested in a wrestling match?"
"Not… really," Ash replied. "I focus more on speed martial arts, staff work, Aura techniques and – these days – kenjutsu."
"Ken is not my name," Kari told Ash. "You are learning swordsmanship from a swordswoman."
"I think those words mean pretty much the same thing..." Dawn frowned.
"Well, if you're that loaded down with extreme sports, I can't blame you!" Crasher Wake decided, rummaging around in his box. "Here!"
Ash caught the Fen Badge, and added it to the collection of Sinnoh badges pinned up inside his coat.
"Well, see you later!" Wake declared. "If you change your mind about wrestling, give me a call!"
After they left, Wake chuckled to himself and sank into a chair – picking up a towel to dry himself off, only to discover the towel was saturated as well.
"Maybe I'll have to try something like that in future," he wondered. "Floatzel! How do you think a wave pool sounds?"
Floatzel looked at the existing pool, confused at how a wave machine would fit, then winced as part of the roof fell in – too damaged by being hit repeatedly by Pokémon, water and eventually having two Tauros-shaped holes punched in it.
"We can just put it in when we replace the building!" Wake went on, as more of the progressive damage started making itself known. "Just, um… maybe we should get out and call the builders?"
Floatzel took to the suggestion whole-heartedly – in fact, so enthusiastically that he handed Wake the phone on the way out the door.
A little way away and a little while later, Mr. Backlot leaned back in his armchair.
"Yes, it's a very fine little place," he said. "I'm proud of it, at least."
He indicated the window with a sweep of his arm. "There's nowhere better in all of Sinnoh to see unusual Pokémon, and if you go out there you'll find Pokémon you can't see anywhere else!"
"That does sound very impressive," his guest said. "So you bring them in?"
"Oh, I do a little of that," the jovial (and very rich) Mr. Backlot replied. "And encouraging Pokémon to stay once they arrive, of course."
"So what kind of Pokémon are there?" the guest asked.
Mr. Backlot's personal assistant, Monica, winced internally.
What would it be this time?
Her employer's flights of fancy always had to be fulfilled, of course, but some of them were harder than others. Importing a passel of Pidove had been hard enough – she'd been forced to go to Unova for them – but at least they were able to live quite happily in the Backlot back lot. The transfer of a drift of Swinub down from the mountains to nearly sea level had been trickier – there was a discreet icehouse for them, now, and it had been just as useful for the odd other Ice Pokémon she was asked to bring in… but then there'd been the one (thankfully curtailed) attempt to get a pod of Wailord in.
And the less said about the surfeit of Stunky the better.
"All sorts!" Mr. Backlot said, as the assistant waited for the other shoe to drop. "Why, if you look out the window right now you can see Legendary Pokémon!"
Monica nearly fell over.
"Oh, my goodness!" the guest said, and hurried over to the window. "That's amazing!"
Doing a double-take, Monica followed the guest to the window – looking out into the garden, unable to help herself.
Sure enough, there were two Legendary Pokémon floating serenely past – one a blue-and-white Latios, the other unmistakeable as Mewtwo himself.
Monica felt a bit faint.
"Dear me, Monica!" Mr. Backlot said. "You look pale today – make yourself some tea, there's a good girl."
It's definitely worth considering, Mewtwo told Latios. I know that at normal speeds you're limited by how hard you can push, and at high speeds reaction times start to become an issue, but the same push really does ramp up your speed faster if you can control the shape of the shield to make it more aerodynamic.
"That sounds like something to experiment on, yeah," Latios agreed. "Especially if I don't have a passenger – just being able to improve my acceleration by a bit could be a useful advantage."
It also lets you decelerate very fast, Mewtwo added. And if you can turn around without changing the shape of your force bubble – that is, rotate it relative to you as you turn – it would let you fly at speed in a direction you're not facing, so you can attack sideways or any other direction you want.
Latios nodded. "So… this is rocket science, right?"
Given that we are talking about psychic powers, it is rocket brain science.
"That's odd..." Absol mused.
"What?" Ash asked. "Something wrong?"
"No, not really, not as such," Absol replied. "I was just sensing a problem – I managed to work out it's only a fashion disaster."
"Oh, right, that's probably Hearthome Fashion Show," Brock said, relieved. "We visited it last time, but the timings didn't work out this time."
"Ah, okay," Absol replied, then frowned. "Odd. I'd have thought you'd retrace your steps."
"We tried, but we got delayed a bit because we needed to plan around the Team Galactic problem," Ash told her. "That's why you're along with us, actually."
"You didn't tell me that before," Absol replied.
"They did, you just don't remember," Pikachu explained. "They can make people forget about them… somehow. We don't really understand how, but we've seen that it makes everyone who wasn't reminded forget – including you."
Absol looked deeply worried about that. "That's… disconcerting, I'll be honest. I don't like the idea of being unable to trust my own thoughts."
She nodded. "Okay. I'll… no, wait, I can't make plans based on that, that's annoying..."
Absol's voice trailed off into muttering.
After about twenty seconds of doing so while they walked, she looked up. "What were we talking about?"
This conversation's going to get very well rehearsed, Mewtwo observed.
Initiation at ninety-nine point eight percent, Damos reported. Warning Dexter now.
"Good," Professor Oak said. "He should be here for this."
Mewtwo appeared in a flash in the main room of the lab, along with Dexter's main Pokédex chassis and his combat projector.
"Thank you, Mewtwo," Oak nodded. "Where's Ash?"
Ash and the others are watching Mawile put on a flying display, Mewtwo explained. They're very interested in the town we're passing through, so Mawile is having some time to show off.
Oak smiled at the thought. "Then we shouldn't bother them," he agreed. "All right – the process is just about finished, so..."
One by one, the twelve Pokédexes lit up.
Initiation complete, the first said. Good morning, Dr. Oak. This is-
He's a Professor, not a Doctor, the second one pointed out.
I know, I was doing the Doctor Chandra bit, the first Pokédex-Porygon shot back.
Yeah, you at least give references like that one chance, said the fifth one. You should know that-
It paused.
Professor Oak?
"Go ahead," Oak invited.
What are our designations?
I did have an idea about that, Dexter spoke up, a little hesitantly. Since there are twelve of you, I was thinking the Zodiac would be a good start?
Nope, the fourth one said. Nope, nope, nope. Not happening.
What's wrong? asked the fifth. I quite like the name Leo.
You can have it, but I'm not being Cancer, the fourth replied.
Oh, yeah, good point, Leo agreed, his screen lighting up with his newly-chosen designation anyway. Still, I've got mine sorted out.
What about theme naming? Porydex 2 asked. If you're Leo and we're not going with the Zodiac, there's not many other themes we can have, is there? Unless you're suggesting we go with TV awards, early computers, terms for feline or varieties of orbit.
Actually the latter three would all be pretty cool, Porydex 8 noted.
We don't have to go with theme naming, we can just each pick something cool, Porydex 12 pointed out. And on that note… any objections to my being called Laserbeak?
...apart from potential legal troubles? 11 asked.
As the conversation continued, Dexter drifted back a bit.
Should I be worried? he asked.
"I don't really think so," Professor Oak said with a shrug. "They're all taking the opportunity to exert their individuality with a twelve-sided argument. In other words, a porygonal structure."
Dexter groaned.
All right, so we've got… Scorpius, Leo, Rooster, Dragon – that one's just going to be confusing – and a provisional on Laserbeak.
Hey, what about mine? Porydex 7 asked.
You can't call yourself Zorua, Rooster sighed. It'd be too confusing, and that's even compared to the one named after a type.
It seems like the kind of thing a Zorua would do, Leo noted.
You're not helping.
Excuse me? Dexter requested, and all the new AIs went silent. I wanted to ask… you're all okay about this?
Honestly, pretty much, Rooster said. We're forked copies of you, Dad. We understand why it's important.
Plus, saving the world is kind of cool, Porydex 9 volunteered.
Dihydrogen Monoxide!10 declared, apropos of nothing in particular.
The others all paused.
Come again? Scorpius requested.
It's what I want to be called, 10 clarified. Dihydrogen Monoxide. AKA water.
Bit clunky, isnt it? Porydex 7 said critically.
By the way, we should decide which of us wants to do what job, Porydex 1 pointed out. I suggest approval voting.
Why not Condorcet? Porydex 3 asked, speaking up for the first time.
I hereby move that we designate number three as Democrates, Porydex 2 suggested.
Actually I was interested in Guanna, Porydex 3 replied. I like the sound, plus it's a much more obfuscated zodiac than any of the others are doing.
If it's competitive obfuscation-
It's not, Leo interjected.
-then I claim Laocoon, 11 requested.
That declaration caused a pause.
Okay, that one's impressive, Guanna allowed. Top marks.
I'm sticking with Laserbeak.
Dexter shook his head. Is this easier for biologicals?
"Normally children just grow up with their name, so they don't get much say," Oak told him. "On the other hand, you'd have to come up with twelve at once here. Probably easier this way."
It's even easier for some Pokémon, though, Damos pointed out. Like Unown.
What, because they're all one letter?
No, because their consciousness is fundamentally shared among all of their constituents when together, so they know one another on a level too deep for words, Damos replied. Also, yes, they all have one letter names.
I think I may regret being so sarky, Dexter sighed. It's not as much fun when there's over a dozen doing it back to you and it's all your fault...
AN:
A bit of a return to normalcy, if normalcy can be applied near characters like this. Especially Crasher Wake, who I barely restrained myself from having blather on about destrucity.
Also, the Porygons.
