I stared at the daiyokai's back. What was his goal? Did he honestly want me to trust him, or was it another stepping stone to getting me in bed? Is he genuinely striving for a better relationship, or is he a carnivore, waiting to rip tear me to shreds? I can't tell. It terrifies me. Am I supposed to hand him my heart again? What will he do if I don't? It's like my toes are dangling off the edge of a cliff. He's waiting behind me with arms on my back. He'll keep pushing me further off the edge until the only thing I can do is hold onto him for dear life. It's that or take my risk with the plunge. I don't have the time to heal. That push could come at any time and from anyone. I don't have the space to heal; Sesshomaru is my only option.
He's been rather gentle toward me. He could have done such worse things to me. He hasn't locked me away. He hasn't gotten me pregnant with his kid. He's only hit me once. He hasn't tried to blackmail me into anything. He's fed and clothed me. He's offered his chest to me at night. He protects me. He must be deserving of some trust? He couldn't be so gentle and warm if he was such a bad person. Rin and I would have been long gone if he was.
We eventually stopped to set up camp for the night. I was eager to sit by the dragon as Rin and Jaken scampered off to prepare for the night. A headache had dawned on me and now had me essentially paralyzed. I took a deep breath, trying to clear my mind, before my eyes shifted to watch Sesshomaru as he moved toward me. He sat beside me with maybe seven inches between us. Ah-Un quickly abandoned his position, choosing to sit a few yards away from us, and with his back turned toward us. The air grew quiet and cold. I took a deep breath, praying that it would chase my headache away. I silently hoped that a cold wasn't forthcoming.
Rin and Jaken eventually returned with berries and wood. The berries were roasted, and served on the side of a meal packed by the manor's cooks. I didn't bother the girl as she ate, and watched silently as she finished before moving to sleep. She was the only one with an appetite, but she wasn't the only one ready to sleep. She and Jaken were fast asleep as soon as they laid down. I planned on staring at the stars until I followed suit, but the daiyokai at my side finally spoke up.
"You are quiet." The daiyokai stated after a while.
"Peace does not come by often." I replied, hoping to move away from dialogue.
The conversation did shift away from dialogue, but for only a brief second. The daiyokai slipped his hand behind my back to reach my left cheek, and guided my head onto his lap. His hand ran through my hair. I immediately stole away from his advance, retracting further within myself, and farther away from him.
"Please refrain from doing that." I asked frantically.
"I have held you before."
"Now is a different time."
"You are still afraid."
After much though. I replied, "I can't just get over it."
"Why not?"
I looked away and rubbed my arms, trying to get rid of my goosebumps. "Trust isn't easy to rebuild after it's been torn down."
"I have done you no physical harm." He stated, taking hold of my arm.
"But the mental and emotional trauma is more than enough!" I replied, yanking my arm away in panic.
A sense of dread ran down my spine as his eyes sharpened. I wanted to vomit.
"You forget yourself." He stated, freezing me as he grabbed my elbow.
He pulled me back toward him, wrapping his arms around me, and trapping me within his hold again. A blush rose to my cheek and my breath was caught in my throat. His breath tickled the nape of my neck.
"I have told you; do not flee from me." He reminded before pressing his cool cheek to the side of my neck. My heart palpitated. Every hair on my body stood, my face burned, and my skin itched. My thoughts were frayed, and sense of self scattered. His scent wasn't needed to ruffle my hair and drive me mad. My will shattered. I didn't dare to fight his hold. Instead, I closed my eyes, and braced myself.
I flinched when I felt his fingers run down my arm before intertwining with my hand. He pulled my arm backward while his fingers danced on my wrist. My eyes didn't open until I felt his nose and lips on my palm. His other hand held onto my waist.
"You need not fear me."
I couldn't speak.
"You need not trust anyone else."
He continued to whisper such statements into my ear until my skin calmed and my hairs settled. He kissed my neck and arms gently in between words while I listened. Before I knew it, I fell asleep holding onto him and his words.
When I woke up, the sky was tinted orange, and a morning mist dampened the air. I attempted to untangle myself from the daiyokai who had possessively wrapped himself around me, and soon found him watching me struggle.
"Why don't you actually go to sleep for once?" I asked sarcastically.
"I would miss the beating of your heart." He told me as I was nuzzled.
I tore my gaze away from him, staring at the ground as my thumbs twiddled to preoccupy my flustered mind. We sat like that for a few more minutes, until I was calm and brave enough to finally break free of his hold. He was more a mermaid than a dog, captivating me like that.
Before long, we were off again, traveling down a route near a river. Rin didn't seem to have a care in the world, freeing her imagination in the space she had. Everything seemed bright and clear, but my diagnostic proved itself wrong within thirty seconds. My memory was instantly jogged once my gaze stumbled upon two wolf demons drinking at the river bed.
They recognized me, even though I'd only seen them once. They both paled and looked away as I realized that my eyes had narrowed to a glare. I softened my features, and returned my focus to what was ahead of me. They were focused on the conflict that was sure to happen if their beloved leader ran into this terrifying one. I also hoped that the meeting could be avoided, leading me to soften my feelings.
However, Sesshomaru turned to face me, asking why my demeanor had changed so quickly.
"No reason." I replied.
I could see his eyebrow arch by the slightest degree as his eyes managed to become more frigid. A pulse of shock ran through my entire body. He didn't like my reply. He turned to face me completely, stopping in his tracks to pressure me even further.
"Nothing's wrong." I said again. "If you want to waste time, be my guest."
I kept my pace, hoping to inspire Sesshomaru to take my word. The moment I was by his side, his glare had me frozen in place. His stare didn't drop, waiting for me to give him the explanation he wanted. I'd say I was saved by Rin, but she only moved Sesshomaru's attention from me to the wolf demon staring at his ward. Rin hid behind his legs.
"Rin?" He called.
Her silence was enough for him to deduct that the ones who had slaughtered her village, and the child herself were standing in front of us. Koga and Sesshomaru stared at each other, but Koga soon turned toward me.
"So this is where you've been, Kazumi." Koga stated
"Where I go is none of your business." I replied.
"You know this man?" Sesshomaru asked, turning his head slightly to reestablish his gaze on me.
"We are acquaintances at best." I replied quickly.
"How cold of you." Koga told me before staring at Sesshomaru again. "She is my woman."
"Would you stop saying nonsense like that?" I demanded. "I am my own woman."
Sesshomaru ignored my claim, pulling me closer to him as his left hand clenched my shoulder, and his right, my chin.
"This woman is marked to be mine. She will bear my litter."
"What are you saying?" I asked him, feeling a glare etch itself into my face.
He said nothing to me. His mokomoko wrapped around my waist as he pulled my chin upward, flaunting the scar his canine teeth had left on my throat.
"There is no place for you." He told Koga as he stared into my eyes.
"Is that all you want from her?" He said as he placed his hands behind his head. His eyes wandered to Rin for a second before he added, "I've given up on eating humans. So there's no need to worry about that."
"That's good to hear." I told him.
"Why are you still with this guy? You instantly refute me whenever I say you are my woman, yet you do nothing when he does."
"You must be blind." I snapped.
Hectically, I pushed away his mokomoko and arms, before putting a good distance between us.
"I-I am no one's woman," I stuttered. "Much less a cheater like you."
The two wolves under Koga seemed ready to pull their boss away, and Ah-Un itched to continue the journey. Unfortunately we were too far gone.
"There's nothing between Ayame and I." Koga replied.
"Then you've realized chasing Kagome is a waste as well." I noted.
He went silent for a moment before looking at Sesshomaru. "You and that mutt brother of yours have a fine taste in women. I'm sure this one will give you more trouble though"
"Give up on me." I chimed as he turned his back to leave.
"Do I have a choice? The man next to you is much more aggressive than I could hope to be."
"Then get out of here already." I commanded.
"Why so devastatingly cold today?"
"The people you hang around tend to wear off on you."
"Take care of yourself."
I was silent.
Koga shrugged his shoulders and shined a smile at me before disappearing. His last two clansmen followed behind him. With him gone, Rin returned to her bubbly self, but I was stuck in a sour mood. Knowing Sesshomaru was staring at me, I turned away from him in effort to veil what I knew to be disappointment.
"I'm going on a walk."
