I was kicking rocks, all by my lonesome. I didn't think Sesshomaru would actually leave me to walk around, but am relieved that he did. I needed to cool my head. After finally wrapping my head around the possibility that his words wanted something genuine, he goes and says the opposite. After all this time, he still only cares about me having his kid. I doubt he'd care if I disappeared after the kid was born. The only reason I can think of, that would lead him to chase after me, would be to care for the creature, 'cause God knows he can't!
I'd have high blood pressure or chronic migraines at this rate. I ended up walking around until I was lucky enough to run into a tree stump. I sat down on it and gave a sigh.
'Why do I let these things get to me? Why does it bother me?' [Me]
Your caution is warranted. [Myself]
I think you just hate seeing the stolid Sesshomaru be a perverted prick. [I]
'I don't want to be seen as nothing more than a baby maker.' [Me]
The property aspect of it doesn't fly with me. [I]
'How can he do all those things without feeling a single emotion?' [Me]
You can't be certain that he doesn't feel anything. This is Sesshomaru we're talking about. Like hell he's going to admit any type of feeling toward you. For all we know, it could be his excuse. [Myself]
'Excuse?' [Me]
Excuse isn't the word. He probably doesn't understand much in that department. For all we know, maybe that's how he shows affection. I mean, what better way to get rid of competition than to say you're going to have a family together? [Myself]
That's one way to do it. 'No one mess with this one, I'm gonna put a baby in her! [I]
You're not helping. [Myself]
I'm just saying what we're all thinking, and we think that's stupid. [I]
'I don't want to think about it anymore.' [Me]
I stood up, not knowing where I wanted to go.
You can't just ignore this. You travel with the man, for goodness' sake. [Myself]
I find it hard to imagine Sesshomaru feeling anything other than pride, and hatred. [I]
He doesn't hate Rin, does he? [Myself]
'I'll simply accept what he says to be how he feels. If he doesn't say it, he doesn't feel it.' [Me]
So you want to make yourself miserable. [I]
'Both ways, I'm screwed. I should just be happy with how things are now. I shouldn't be complaining about anything.' [Me]
That doesn't sound right. [Myself]
'If he wants to be a bit more close and personal, it should be fine. It's the least I can do right? Believe it or not, there's a lot he's done for me. I wouldn't be alive to tell it if not for him.' [Me]
But that's not the point. [I]
"Kazumi, is that you?" A voice asked from behind me.
Shocked to hear my name, I quickly turned around and found myself staring at Kagome. My brows furrowed slightly from confusion.
"You kept walking when we were calling out for you. You almost fooled me into thinking it wasn't you."
"Sorry. I got carried away." I admitted. "I'm glad to see you guys are okay."
"Did you straighten out the problem you had with Sesshomaru?" Shippo asked as he popped up on Kagome's shoulder.
I let out an anxious chuckle as the others sent Shippo a well-intended glare.
"Yeah, I think so. But it's one problem after the next, you know?"
"So, you're okay with…" Sango couldn't find it within herself to finish her question.
I looked away, dragging the conversation with me. "So what's happening?"
"It seems as though some bandits have been revived by Naraku. I'm sure they'll be trouble, but at least we'll have the chance to get some jewel shards." Kagome summed.
"Well that sounds-"
I was interrupted by the croons of a rather flamboyant male.
"There you are! I've been looking for you all!" he exclaimed.
The Band of Seven, I don't know why it didn't come to mind earlier. Which one was this one? I could only remember that the leader's name is Bankotsu.
"Who are you?!" InuYasha blurted as he unsheathed Tessaiga.
"I am Jakotsu of the Band of Seven. I will have the pleasure of killing you today." He said with a smile. "If I had the choice, I would save you, you little cutie, but I don't call the shots here."
InuYasha didn't hesitate to jump into battle after the "compliment" that had been paid to him. I was content with watching from the sidelines. The man fought without any predictable move set. At times, he attacked in fluid motions, connecting each jab and slash, and other times, deliberately pausing to throw off his opponent, or cutting actions short to start new ones. I would hate to have to jump into battle with him. Without a doubt, I wouldn't last beyond maybe two minutes if I had good battle skills and luck.
The battle seemed to grow legs, traveling farther and farther away from us. The two eventually disappeared, leaving me to wonder why we were standing around when there were six other bandits waiting to be taken down. My mind wasn't jogged until after I was punched with the scent of incense. I instinctively covered my mouth and nose, but knew the effort was futile. My eyes were already drooping and I'd fallen to my knees along with the others. Sango and Miroku were out cold, and Kagome wasn't far behind, but Shippo seemed unfazed by the ammonia like mist.
I reached out for the kitsune, but found myself losing strength within seconds. My arm fell back toward the ground, but was caught by an unsettlingly cold hand. The image of the man glossed over my tired eyes, revealing the white cloth on his head, and over the lower half of his face. I couldn't see it, but I knew that under that cloth was an unsettling smirk. My senses were too dull to send a shiver down my back as my sight finally faded to black.
I wasn't' happy to find that I was paralyzed when I woke up. My annoyance quickly turned to panic as my mind wandered to more demanding thoughts. I was sitting up, given a perfect view of the man and Kagome. She had a white veil over her head. This guy… is desperate, not that it isn't expected. He's a no good bandit after all, with nothing to compare to Bankotsu.
"Ah, you are awake!" The man noticed.
He laid Kagome down before walking to me. He grabbed my chin roughly to examine my face further, placing his own much too close to mine. His breath smelled like stale dirt and decomposing grass, and his body odor was of clay, and an assortment of better smelling herbs. I had to wonder why such commodities were taken for the bandit. I'm sure he wasn't buried carefully after his death. Maybe it was from the poison he previously carried.
"Yes, you will make a fine bride also!" he exclaimed.
Disgusting pig.
"First you, and then the priestess." He said.
I would have wretched from the thought of it, but the paralyzed part of my condition helped me refrain from doing so. I watched with contempt as the man hummed and moved to his own song before saying his own little vows. It was pathetic, more so than my social life.
Kagome managed to use enough of her purifying powers on herself to be able to move and stab him in the throat with an arrow. If she hadn't moved, I would have garnered enough energy to shove him away from myself. Unfortunately, she missed the jewel shard. Regardless of that, I found the teen's aiming toward such a vital spot as commendable.
The man slapped her away.
"Wench! How dare you!" he yelled at her as he started to choke her.
He wouldn't kill anyone on my watch. I managed to spit on him, the ultimate disrespect. Feeling the glossy liquid on his neck, he turned around, blinded by rage, and smacked me as well. His nails scrapped across my cheek, drawing small blots of blood. Fed up with both of our actions, but still more so with Kagome, he let a train of curses and disgruntled comments rush out of his mouth.
The man turned back to Kagome, wrapping his rough hands around her neck to choke her again. By then, I'd happily conceded the responsibility of interfering to Sesshomaru as he lifted his hand. He didn't hesitate to pick the small man off of Kagome and retrieve the jewel shard from his neck. The man's body returned to its dirt form and crumbled out of Sesshomaru's grip. He tossed the shard over toward Kagome, who was sitting up, coughing as air rushed to her lungs.
My attention darted back to Sesshomaru, as I watched him crouch in front of me and examine my cheek. Using his thumb, he wiped away the dots of blood that escaped from the scratch. He scooped me up in one arm and took the same route he used as a quick entrance to exit.
There was no protesting this time; the air had been saturated with the paralyzing incense. I didn't expect to be able to move for a while, but feeling was already crawling up my fingertips. I laid on his chest as he walked, waiting patiently to be set down, or for the poison to disappear from my body, which ever came first. Luckily, him setting me down came first.
"Did you not agree to stop running?"
I was silent, icing over.
He caressed my cheek. "Have you not learned the consequence of leaving my side?"
My paralysis started to worry me as his fingers traced the back of my neck. An arm slithered around my waist, and pulled me to stand. He gave another tug, pulling me even closer to him as he bent over to speak in my ear.
"I will not repeat myself." He stated, freezing my ear with his breath.
He repositioned himself so we were face-to-face.
I built up the courage to speak. "I wasn't running."
He kissed my neck. "You believe me to have mistaken you?"
"I was upset."
He didn't reply. Instead. I felt his hands creep toward my hips.
"Even now, you continue to treat me as an object to sexualize. If you just want me to have your kid, then-"
One of his hands pressed against my lower back, while the other held my hand and brushed it against his lips.
"Your scent," he started as he moved my hand to his cheek, "your touch, your warmth, your smile, your voice, your pride, your anger, I want it all.
I was flustered.
"I desire you above all else."
"Stop it."
"If you will not surrender yourself, I will take you."
I could feel tears building in my eyes. I was going to be swallowed whole. I was going to lose myself.
I shook my head.
"Is that reason unacceptable?"
"You can't trick me. All you want is for me to have your kids.
"Had pups been my priority, you would be carrying them."
"Then why is that always the first thing you talk about to others?!" I shot back, not wanting to believe him.
His eyes were glaciers as they peered at me. "Inu daiyokai do not desire," he started as he leaned in closer, "heirs from women they intend to pass off."
I couldn't speak.
He took the silence as an opportunity to place a kiss on my lips, silently requesting me to cooperate.
"What about the Band of Seven?" I asked him, suddenly feeling fevered.
"It is not of my concern." He stated, kissing me again. He showed no intention of separating from me.
I was lost at sea. Like the currents and tidal waves of the ocean, his pull kept me tossing and turning before pulling me under the water. I was drowning. I was terrified. Whenever I broke away from the enchantment of his lips, I tried to push him away Each time, he would press our bodies back together and reinvoke his spell. His kisses were fierce, draining my will to resist by the second.
I was becoming light-headed as adrenaline and dopamine was pumped from my brain. His lips kissed my neck. I was lost. I winced when I felt him bite my shoulder, but made no move to get away from him. My breath became a pant as my heartbeat tripled its speed. Sesshomaru barely got a glance at my face before he had me pinned against a tree, suffocating me with his mouth and hands.
He didn't separate himself from me until dark gray clouds with red singed bases billowed through the sky. We both turned to face what I knew was a burning building. Sesshomaru chose to ignore it, turning back to me. I was quick to put my hands on his chest and push him away. I stepped under his arm and started toward the fire. Sesshomaru followed, not far behind.
When I finally came across InuYasha, he was clinging onto Kagome. Miroku and Sango were laid next to him. Shippo was crying next to Miroku's shoulder, and Kirara was laying on Sango's stomach. I jogged to InuYasha and held him by the shoulders. He looked at me with lost eyes.
"I was too late." He told me sullenly. "I failed them."
He returned to staring at Kagome.
"Pathetic. An Inu who cannot protect his pack does not deserve one. Foolish half-breed." Sesshomaru commented.
I gave Sesshomaru a quick glance, silently condemning his words. His attitude toward his younger brother was harsh and unnecessary. I returned my stare to InuYasha with the intent of being extremely gentle. He believes he's half of the people he considers to be family is dead. Sesshomaru wasn't going to be a source of comfort. Even if it was only for a few minutes, I would let him lean on me. I'd keep him from falling of the edge, and help him back to his feet.
I held his arm tightly, ignoring the stare Sesshomaru was giving me.
"Hope isn't lost." I assured him.
Feeling a prick on my neck, my hand struck the area to find the blood sucking flea, Myoga. I instructed him to suck out the poison from the humans' blood. InuYasha set Kagome next to Sango and Miroku. I gave him a hug before holding his hand. Though I knew of his disparity, I was surprised to feel him hold onto my hand as tightly as I'd held his arm. Myoga didn't hesitate, moving quickly after seeing that InuYasha's gaze rigidly followed him. Once he was done, he was the size of a potato. I took a deep breath and had InuYasha sit with me by the three unconscious humans. I ran my free hand through Shippo's hair in effort to comfort him. Kirara sat by my side, staring at Sango.
"It's okay. At the very least we must breathe." I said.
"I failed." InuYasha said slowly. "They almost died because of me."
I sighed. "I understand how you feel, but you can't wallow or waver. They are not dead, and you can't change the past. The best we can do is take care to not make the same mistakes in the future, and make sure to cherish what we have in the present. InuYasha, if you never want this to happen again, you can't let this intimidate you. You must get stronger and smarter. You have to know how to fight effectively. Use this as inspiration. Okay? Not everyone gets to do that."
InuYasha stared at me before nodding.
I turned to face Sesshomaru, only to find he'd left. I don't know when he left, and didn't really care.
The three came to shortly after. I was glad to see them up and moving again. After seeing InuYasha's calmed face, I stood to leave.
"Then I hope I'll get to see you again when there isn't so much chaos." I said as I dusted my yukata.
InuYasha grabbed my wrist before asking, "You're going back?"
My gaze melted as the corners of my lips pushed upward. "Why wouldn't I?"
"Kazumi." He called skeptically.
"I'll be fine." I said as I turned my gaze away.
"You saw his reaction to this. Can you really feel comfortable around someone as cold-hearted as him?"
"I'll admit he was rather cold with his comment."
"Answer the question."
"Well, he protects me from other demons and isn't horribly mean."
"But who protects you from him? He hurt you."
"He hasn't-"
"You know what he did. You can't defend that."
I was silent.
"Don't go back to that bastard. Who knows what's going on in that mind of his? Who knows when he'll attack you next?" He argued.
"I-I have to." I stuttered.
"Are you that afraid of him?"
I was silent.
His grip tightened. "I'm not letting you go back to him. He's no good for you. Look at what he's done to you!"
"He's done nothing!"
"You look and sound like you're scared for your life. There's no way in hell that he's any good for you."
Sango groaned, grabbing both of our attentions.
"InuYasha? Kazumi?" Sango called.
My pulse was racing; my hands were shaking; my palms were sweating. I should have left; I should have gone back to Sesshomaru. But, I couldn't leave the three. I'd make sure everything was okay. Only for tonight.
