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Naruto laid peacefully against a tree of an unnamed forest as he was talking to Haku, a beautiful girl he had just met only a few minutes ago.
He wasn't sure how it came to be, but for some strange reason, Naruto felt at peace around with Haku and vice versa. Even more so than his teammates, those being Sasuke Uchiha and Sakura Haruno.
Naruto and Haku shared their life experiences and by doing so, they realized they had a lot in common with one another. Rejection and loneliness being the most common things they have both experienced, albeit for different reasons.
When it came to part ways, as Haku was leaving she had told Naruto -who was gawking at her for the entire time they were together- that she was a boy.
Naruto didn't take well to that information as his mind had shut down. A boy was cuter than Sakura! What the hell?
Two weeks have passed, and team 7 had completed their first ever C-ranked turned A-ranked mission. With Gato dead and his goons locked up in the wave country's prison and the bridge finally being completed, Team 7 had begun on their way back to Konoha. Only this time, Zabuza and Haku going along with the ride after Naruto convinced them that joining the hidden leaf would be better than constantly being on the run from mist shinobi.
"Thank you, Naruto." Haku said. "You didn't have to do that for us." Naruto simply shrugged, "No problem. It a win-win for everyone. You guys get a home and my village gets 2 new capable ninjas, with one having a bloodline and the other being a powerful Jonin."
Haku only nodded and every now and then, she would sneak a peek at Naruto's direction when she thought he wasn't paying attention. She was wrong.
"Hey Haku, do you need something? I mean you keep looking at me?" Haku nodded and proceeded to tell Naruto the truth that she's actually girl.
"What are you, stupid?" The question threw Haku for a loop. "What?" Was the only thing she can let out.
"You just told me that you're a girl. So let me get this straight. The reason that you lie about being a boy is to stop getting unwanted attention from males, correct?" Haku nodded to which Naruto continued, "So if that's true, then why do you wear such girly clothes? Why have long lush hair and wear goddamn lipstick? Why have such a girly appearance? For someone wanting others to believe you're a boy, you sure look beaituful. I mean, go put on a suit, drop the lipstick or something. If you were actually a dude, you'll be the girliest femboy in history and believe me, if I thought you were a girl -which you actually are-, then other males would've thought the same thing, and thus you would've gotten that unwanted attention you were attempting to avoid."
Haku felt like she was bitched slap. But with logic.
"It makes no sense to try to lie about being a dude when you look so girly. Make yourself, you know, look like a dude? The transformation jutsu exists you know."
Haku was completely dumbfounded. When you put it that way, she does sound like an idiot.
The end
A/N The point of this fic was to poke fun at those fics which have Haku's gender changed to actually being a girl, but for some reason they keep the "I'm a boy scene" from canon which in this context makes no utter sense.
I mean why would a girl lie about being a boy in order to keep unwanted attention away from themselves yet at the same time make themself look so girly?
It's like a escaped criminal saying they don't want to look suspicious but then they go wearing all black and walking around lurking somewhere openly during broad daylight.
It makes no utter sense.
