The Peverell Legacy
A/N: I own nothing, especially not HP. Welcome to another fanfic, Italics are for thoughts, Bold is for spells.
Epilogue Part Three: Snape the lover
Dear Mum and Dad and Bodhi,
Remember when I asked if we could move to France so I could go to Beauxbatons? You don't, probably because I didn't say it, but I am saying it now. Hogwarts is full of idiots who seem to think if they call me Harry Potter enough times that I will magically decide to stop being James Peverell.
Teachers are mostly alright, I like Charms and Transfiguration a lot. Potions sucks, but that's because Draco's godfather is the teacher. He's never liked me, so I'm not surprised he uses every chance he gets to belittle me. I wish he wasn't so hard of Neville though. He and I are both in Gryffindor with our friend Hermione Granger. She's the smartest person in our year. Draco had a problem at first with her being muggleborn, but then he tried to quiz her, and she beat him. He pulled a face and was huffy for a while, but I think he's coming around now. Tonks is always Tonks. She kissed me in front of everyone when Draco got put in Slytherin. She's weird.
Padma glared at the offending parchment. I knew we should've killed him. He's still treating James and Neville like shit. But noooo, Harry 'Still hasn't gotten the Dumbledore beaten out of him' Potter wouldn't poison him…or let me do it. She drew in a swift calming breath. She had promised Harry that she would stop going straight to 'murder-mode' as he'd termed it. Andromeda had put her in touch with a muggle-born friend who had left Hogwarts for the University of Cardiff and was possibly the only therapist that saw magical clients. Thanks to the oath she'd taken Padma knew she could tell the woman everything. Survivors guilt she had termed it.
Still, she wouldn't deny that it had helped. She hadn't felt a murderous urge in nearly a year until this letter arrived anyway. Now she felt murderous. It was only affection for Narcissa that she hadn't made the greasy-haired godfather of James' best friend fall down 'a flight of stab wounds' to quote Pandora Lovegood.
Suddenly there were arms around her. Harry was hugging her, and she smiled despite herself at the scent of his aftershave. Since the company he'd used when they were dating didn't exist, yet, he'd needed to find something new. "That letter isn't great is it?" He murmured against her hair as he pressed a kiss to the top of her head. "We can't go down there, and Snape doesn't go into the village. Any ideas?"
"Have Cissy call him over by floo and let me disembowel him." She suggested hotly, feeling the old rage building. "Barring that, have her call him over and let me kick him in the balls."
"Pad, breathe. Remember the exercises." He urged her. She drew in a breath and then another one, holding it and releasing it slowly. Harry hugged her tighter before stepping back and letting her turn to face him. "I have an idea…"
Scene Break
Tonks looked at the letter she'd been sent by Harry and Padma. She grinned and set it down, watching as the letter consumed itself in a small fireball. Padma had promised to show her that spell one day, a time-delayed immolation spell that activated when the reader finished the paper. So, his Royal Greasiness wants to harass Jamie eh? Alright then, two can play that game.
The next day found Snape in a fouler mood than normal. Someone had filled his office with dungbombs. Someone had unlocked his office and befouled it. It had to be the Weasley twins but somehow, they had managed to have air-tight alibis having been called out to an early Quidditch practice. Then he'd heard giggling whispers that he had been seen coming out of that fraud Trelawney's office in the early hours of the morning. Now for the worst, he had double potion with the Gryffindor first years which meant he'd be stuck with Potter and Longbottom.
Sure enough, they walked inside at the appointed time. Snape watched as the youngest Weasley tried to catch Potters eye, but the boy studiously avoided him and took a place between Longbottom and the muggleborn Granger.
"Today's potion is a basic antidote for Doxy-bites. The ingredients and instructions are written on the board, there will be no need for talking." Snape said as he used his wand to reveal the information and then strode back to his seat. There was still a lingering aroma of dungbomb around him and he was certain that he heard someone laughing.
There was more muttering that usual among his class. Snape looked at them for a moment before raising one eyebrow, "I said that there will be no need for talking. Why then am I hearing you dunderheads jabbering away? Potter! What is so funny that you and Longbottom won't shut up?"
"We weren't saying anything, sir." It was Neville who spoke. The trio had swiftly learned that if James spoke then Snape would do his best to find a reason to take points. If Hermione spoke, it was equally likely that he'd take points or insult her as a know-it-all. Neville was usually the safer of the three, at least until it was time to brew. Then it took a combined effort from Hermione and James to prevent Neville from quivering under Snape's eye.
Whatever Snape was going to say was halted when the door to the classroom opened and a woman James had never seen before entered. She was extremely thin, with huge, glittering glasses that gave her an appearance that reminded James of a huge insect. "Severus darling!" She rushed forward and embraced the sputtering man, "When I got your letter this morning, I had no idea how you felt!"
The class was deathly silent. Not one student so much as breathed deeply lest they missed one moment. Snape pulled from her hitting the table Ron and Seamus Finnegan sat at and toppling their cauldron sending a foul-smelling ooze onto the floor of the dungeon. "My letter? I haven't sent anything of the sort!" He whipped around at the students, "Class dismissed! Get out of my sight, all of you!" James and the others left the dungeons quickly leaving Snape to the amorous attentions of the strange woman.
At lunch he got his answer. Tonks plopped down on the bench beside him with a wide grin, made all the wider by the fact that she'd made her mouth slightly larger. "Wotcher munchkins, how was Snape's class this morning?" She asked as she piled a plate high with chips. "Anything unusual happen?"
"Some weird woman came in about five minutes into the class and hugged him." James said as he drew a corned beef sandwich from a tray and took a bite. Chewing thoughtfully, he looked at her, "What did you do?" He asked after he swallowed. Tonks took on an exaggerated innocent expression and James rolled his eyes, "Tonks." He said, "Come on."
"Oh alright," She sighed and then grinned deviously, "This morning I asked a spectral friend of mine to arrange a little distraction to keep Greasy out of the Great Hall so I could borrow his face long enough to be seen taking a letter to the North Tower and to our ever-so-illustrious Professor Sybil Trelawney of the Divination Department." She laughed softly, "The batty old bint ate up his 'love letter'. When she came down I was in my default form, so I told her I saw Snape. I made sure some Ravenclaw third-years saw me as Snape, so when I told her Snape was the one who had the letter, they 'figured it out'," Tonks paused to make sarcastic quotes around the words, "so, after they gushed about it, Trelawney ate that up, by the way, she rushed off and bammo!" She smacked the table with her hand, "You lot got out of the worst class of the day."
"Wait, 'borrowed his face'? 'default form'?" Hermione frowned in confusion, "What do you mean?"
"The stretched mouth when I sat down didn't do it for you huh?" Tonks laughed and then turned her hair into the same bushy brown, "I'm a Metamorphmagus, I can change my form however I want." She turned her hair back to the pink it had been, "No offense, but I'm not really a brunette kind of girl."
"Still, that was very reckless of you. What if you'd been caught?" Hermione admonished once her question had been answered.
"You never got invited to things did you Lady Buzzkill?" Tonks said dryly, "Calm down Granger, I've been pranking this school since I got here." She stage-whispered the next part, "I'm kind of good at this."
Snape didn't reappear until dinnertime. James saw a muscle twitching under his eye even from his seat at the Gryffindor table. Sitting beside him, as if determined to sit in his lap, was Professor Trelawney. She beamed at him, blissfully ignoring all the anger radiating off the pale man. "Well, he looks cheerful," Tonks said as she sat down beside him, stealing a chicken leg from James' plate.
"There's an entire plate of chicken legs right there." James pointed out dryly, taking another leg off the platter and placing it on his plate.
"They taste better off your plate." She said shrugging, "Tulip said that the NEWT divination class featured fortune-telling lessons that went very distinctly into the 'Sybil Trelawney-Snape and her six children' school." She laughed and grabbed James' goblet of pumpkin juice and drained it. "After dinner, James and I need to head up to the Owlery. I've got a letter to send and I'm sure his owl would like to stretch her wings."
"Where is that letter going?" Hermione asked. She didn't approve of pranks on teachers, even unpleasant ones.
"To the office of Misters 'none of your business' and 'not your concern'." Tonks said as she picked up a knife and speared a sausage with its blade. "I promised James' parents if you must know, that I would write sometimes. This is my last year at Hogwarts after all. Then I get to spend three ever-so-fun years at Auror Academy."
"You already know you're getting in?" James said, "Don't you need your NEWTs first?"
"Hush up short stuff, I'm getting in and you know it. Or do we need to make another bet?" She waggled her eyebrows teasingly.
James blushed, "Shut up! I wasn't even the one who made the bet with you!"
Tonks cackled and stole another chicken leg.
Neville sighed and looked at Hermione, "I wonder what it's like having normal friends. I bet it's nice." Hermione caught her giggle just in time.
"Hey I am normal!" James replied, flicking a roll at the other boy.
"What are you doing here? This is the Gryffindor table, leave immediately!" Percy Weasley strode over glaring at Tonks. He hadn't forgotten her insults on the train it seemed Ron had been as good as his word to tattle.
"Hmm…" Said Tonks, drawing the sound out, "Nah. I'm good where I am. I have a better idea; why don't you toddle off like a good little boy. Or we could always settle this in the courtyard." Tonks finished lazily going back to her meal.
"I am a Prefect!" Percy spat out pointing at his badge, "You will treat me with respect!"
"And one of my best friends is Head Girl." She said shrugging, "What? We weren't each spouting useless information?" Tonks said pretending to be puzzled and thoroughly enjoying the younger teens' anger.
For a moment, neither said anything. Percy panted in anger while Tonks merely chose another chicken leg and began to eat. Finally, Percy sputtered angrily, "I will speak to Professor Sprout about this!" then he strode off as Tonks waved a cheerful goodbye.
"What will happen if he talks to Professor Sprout?" James asked her, "If it'll get you in trouble then I'd rather you go to the Hufflepuff table."
"I wouldn't. It's dead boring over there." Tonks replied as she reached for a treacle tart. "Besides, unless it's a Sorting or a Leaving Feast we are encouraged to sit with our friends and promote 'inter-house relations'."
After dinner Tonks and James walked up to the Owlery together. Tonks waited while Harry stroked Hedwig's feathers and then tied her note to the leg of the bird. "C'mon Jamie, I'll take you back to the Gryffindor tower." She told him once Hedwig flew off, becoming a white blob in the dark sky.
As they walked James looked at her for a moment before speaking, "Can you please go a little easier on Hermione? She doesn't really have a social filter, so she kind of speaks without thinking sometimes, but she is one of my friends."
"She rubs me the wrong way." Tonks said after a moment, "She's bossy."
"So are you." James replied earning a cuff on the side of the head.
"Shut up. I'm bossy because I do know better than you. She's bossy because she thinks she knows better." Tonks told him as they reached the stairway for the tower, "Big difference I- shite!" She stopped him. At the landing, for the third floor, she spotted Mrs. Norris, the cat owned by the caretaker Argus Filch. "Play along." She said and quickly morphed into the form of Minerva McGonagall, she tapped her wand to her robes, and they switched from black to green.
When Filch arrived his bulging eyes shown with a triumph that swiftly turned into disappointment. To him, it was just a Professor McGonagall escorting a student back to the tower. "Come along Potter, hopefully, that detention will teach you not to kiss older students. Miss Tonks is a top student, she doesn't need you distracting her." Tonks-as-McGonagall said in a stern voice as they passed the caretaker and hurried upstairs.
"I hate you so much." James whispered as they reached the Fat Lady a few moments later.
"Yeah, yeah." Tonks said shifting back and ruffling his hair, "Get some sleep kiddo." She watched him enter the common room and then started on her way back down to her own. Messing with Jamie is fun, she thought, I'll have to keep it up until I graduate. After that too come to think of it. Hell, I'll just pencil him in as my permanent target. She laughed as she walked away and had James known about her thoughts, he would have had an explanation for the cold shiver that raced down his spine.
