Earth
Fire
Air
Water
Broken Paths
Book I: Shattered
Chapter VI: Wan Alone
Wan sees the bay of republic city, he smiles slightly. He was here, home. However, he sees on a nearby mountain his ghost, staring at him dead in the eyes. "It is not finished, Wan."
Wan steps back and closes his eyes, and turns the boat back around. He docks near an empty bay and burns his old clothes, replacing them with a poncho and brown pants and boots.
He shaved off his goatee and looked at his reflection. He grabs his long locks while grabbing a knife. He pressed the knife against his hair. He gathers up his courage.
It was time for a change.
With one swift motion, his long black hair was cut only leaving his hair above his shoulders.
With that, he moves on.
Korra sees a letter on her bedstand, she picks it up. It's from Wan..
She opens it, her eyes widen at what was in the message from him. She can't believe what she is reading.
Korra, my beloved,
Please forgive me, but I need to go, somewhere. I'm not in the southern water tribe or here, as you can tell.
Once I regained my memories, I thought I found myself. I was wrong. I lost something inside me ever since that day. I need to not be Avatar Wan, but Wan. I need to find my identity as a human again… I need to find me.
That is why I changed my appearance. I want to just be known as Wan.
No one knows about this but you and keep it as such. I love you so much, baby, but I need to do this on my own. I will be in a motel in the earth kingdom if you need to see me.
Love, Wan.
"Wan…" She breathed, "Raava can you pinpoint where Wan is now?" She asks the light spirit.
"I can and he is alone at the moment," Raava said worriedly, "Korra, don't be alarmed but he's healing himself after a fight in a ring to earn money."
Korra rushes out and without hesitation, she fly a sky bison to the part of the earth kingdom where Wan was. After placing the sky bison safely, she walked up to his hotel room. The door opens to reveal Wan with medium short hair and goatee cut off completely. "Korra?" He seems rather shocked at this.
"Wan!" She lunged at him, giving him a tight hug. Wan hugs back, he closed the door. "How did you find me so quickly?" Wan asks.
"Raava," She answers, "Raava told me where you are," She said. Wan eyes widened in shock, Raava was- He touched his heart. "So- she didn't leave me?"
"Of course not, Wan, why would you think she left you?" She asked, "She cares for you just as much as I do."
Wan remained silent and then spoke, "She hasn't talked to me. It's like she ignored me. I cried and begged and she still never..said a word."
"Wan, Raava can't talk to you because you have a block." Korra says stroking her cheek. Wan's head leans on it gently.
"What does she say? Does she talk about me?" Wan asked, "She does, she worries for you, Wan every day." Wan hums, "I miss you Raava, so much. I want to hear your voice.."
"Wan, I miss you too and it pains me to see you like this," Raava said, "It's better seeing you and Korra go at it than this," She admits.
"Wait? Really?" Korra asks, "Yes, Korra, I enjoy watching you and Wan, it makes me feel good." Raava admits, Korra blushed. Wan curiosity tilts his head, "Is everything alright? What did Raava say?"
Korra sighs, "Wan, me and raava, or Raava can see you and me go at it meaning she can see all of it,I she can feel it and If she connects, I can feel it as well" Korra explains with a blush, Wan flushes hearing this.
"So, she's seen everything even…"
"Yip, even that and she enjoys it too," Korra said, "Never thought Raava would watch us do it," Wan admits scratching his head nervously, "Always thought spirits can't feel human emotions." Wan admits as he flushes harder. Wan hugs himself trembling, "She helped me see you...masturbate and she can feel-"
"I mean, why would Raava even-" Wan says getting defense. However, he was hiding something deep inside himself. "Why would she do that!? Even if she feels good, I-" Wan turns away blushing, "She-She wasn't even interested in sex, Why now!?" Wan moved away, sitting on the bed, now upset. "Even worse, you saw those moments between myself and myself only. She shared them with you, I feel violated!"
"Wan, Raava-"
"She can't seem to speak to me, so why can't she just not see and go about!" Wan says angrily, but inside his body felt hot. He was angry, but that anger covered a deeper feeling.
Longing, Desire, Want, loneliness.
"What are you so mad about, Wan?" Korra asked, concerned, "I can't even talk to her and yet you can!" Wan yells crying, "I can't even- I can't even-"
"Can't what?" Korra's eyes widened, despite his tears, she knew that look. He was into something and burying something.
"Wan, what do you desire at the moment?" Korra asked. He looked away ashamed, "I like you both…" He muttered.
"Come again?"
Wan stayed silent again, looking away at her, not meeting her cyan eyes. "Never mind," Wan says, trying to walk away, but Korra's firm grasp stopped him. "No!" Raava and Korra said together, their voice mashing "Wan, tell us!"
"I love you both!" Wan sobs, "I-I just can't! Just let me go, please!"
"Ok, Wan," They said, letting him off. Wan held his hand and ran off, grabbing his stuff in tears. "Goodbye," Wan said, and then closed the door.
Korra stood there stunned as Wan left them. "What happened?" Korra asked Raava, "I'm not actually sure, Korra," She admits, "I've never seen him like this before and what he said still bothers me."
"He likes-No, he loves me and you." Korra said in shock, "Yeah," Raava said softly with a blush on her face, "I never knew he held such feelings for me. Ever since I met him ten thousand years ago he never told me."
"I think he thinks you never felt the same, so that's why he never said anything. Even when you did merge." Korra says, "Honestly, It makes sense. He cries about you, like he's missing something."
"I've heard cries for me and it hurts me truly not being able to talk to him," Raava stated, "I feel the same way, Korra ever since we merged and beat Vaatu. I promised him I would stay by his side and I will," Raava told her.
"But how will we do this, he can't enter the spirit world through meditation?"
"He'll have to reconnect with himself before we can think about doing this," Raava said, "Only when he can connect, then we'll figure it out."
"Ok."
Wan left Korra alone in the room. He didn't stop running or sobbing. Until he sees his ghost, but in his old life during his first harmonic convergence. "Pathetic," He scoffs, "You were stronger than this."
"Shut up, will you, I'm not in the mood today," Wan spat back but still scared.
"Oh, look someone's got there fight back," His ghost mocked him, "Take a look Wan, you're a shell of what you used to be. This new reflection is actually strong and useful," The ghost scoffed at him and laughed. Wan was about to cry, then he attacked the ghost with fire, "ENOUGH!"
"Or what, You'll fight me?"
Wan remained silent, Ghost Wan laughed, "You're pathetic, no wonder why Raava never loved you back. You were lucky to even get Korra. Maybe she just felt pity for you and gave you the girlfriend experience."
"SHUT UP! YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING!" Ghost Wan makes Wan look up, "You will never be as good as I was, you will always be a shadow of me." Wan, the first avatar ghost said. Wan doesn't know what to say, he was right. He was a shadow. He'll never be as good as he once was. The ghost vanished, leaving Wan in a state of utter despair.
He continued his walk, but with Ghost Wan's words in his head.
Wan continued to walk, sleep and walk. He had nothing but his feet and boat; he traveled across the world, staying in hostels or in a tent. He was a wonder. With his boat reached the northern water tribe. He walked to the northern portal and entered the spirit world where the two worlds meet. Wan went to the tree of time and meditated, but nothing happened. He felt more in despair than ever. The tree showed him nothing.
He went out and saw a bunch of spirits waiting for him. He walked towards them.
"Hey aren't you Avatar Wan?" A spirit asked, but another said, "He doesn't look like it.."
"Yeah, I don't feel Raava's presence." Wan looked down at this. He missed hearing her voice.
"Say who are you? You look like him, but we don't feel her presence like the other one?" A spirit asked. Wan sighed, "I'm Wan, just Wan, no one else," He said and began walking away from them. The spirits looked on at him with a slight confusion.
Weeks turn into months as Wan travels around the world. Soon six months have passed. Reaching three years since that day. Wan walked through a random city, he looked tired. Then he sees his ghost once again, but this time back in his original form. Wan glares, "I'm ending this!' Wan rushes to find the ghost soon that lets him go into an earth rumble match. Wan went to the man in charge. "I want to fight!"
"You sure, kid? This guy didn't lose once in three months." The man said to Wan.
"I'm sure, let me fight," Wan said determined, and the guy sighed, "Alright, follow me." He followed the man inside the arena where his ghost is.
"Enjoy," The guy said, closing the entrance.
Wan took an earthbending stance, as did his ghost self.
"And fight!" The bell rings and Wan sends a punch forward, letting the ground shoot up at the ghost. He dodged the attack and hit him with several rocks. What Wan was seeing was a ghost, it was actually a normal dude. He saw Wan as an easy one. Soon he made Wan suffer a massive defeat as he crashed to the ground.
"We have a winner!' The announcers said as the guy rose his fists, leaving Wan laying there.
Later on, Wan was fixing his bandages and had a nasty black eye. The ring leader threw money at him, "For your lackluster performance, Kinda funny seeing you get beat so I gave a few extra yuans."
Wan grabbed the money and stuffed it in his bag, "Thanks." He said, drained. "Hay, wait a second, you kinda look like that Dual Avatar guy, what was his name? Wan! Yeah, you look a lot like him."
"I get that alot," Wan said, "Wonder what happened to the guy. He just up and vanished," The ring leader says. "I wouldn't even know," Wan says walking off.
Wan went to the bathroom and quickly healed his eye and saved his goatee that was growing back in a tad. Soon he went out and continued. He bought food for him and other supplies and kept moving.
Wan sees a little kitten, all alone. He picks the car up, "There, there, it's okay, say where is your-" Wan glances behind him to see his ghost once again. Wan takes a step back, the kitten jumps off of Wan's arms and roars at the ghost.
"Oh, look, you've found yourself a guard protects you, how nice." Wan taunts. The kitten bites ghost Wan and claws him, "You- You can see him?" Wan eyes widen realizing the cat was a spirit.
The kitten roars like a tiger lion; ghost Wan backs away from the kitten and then vanishes. The Kitty meowed again walking away, but Wan follows. "Wait!" Wan follows the kitten as she runs off. Wan soon found himself at the edge of the swamp, and the cat turned into Istina.
She turns her head, "Hello Wan"
"Istina, What-"
"You search for truth and the swamp will give them to you, if you are willing to listen," She said with a slight smile.
"I am," He says.
"Good, Here you'll find what you truly seek. But remember the swamp shows what you desire most and what you fear most, meaning you'll see him again," She explained, "And hopefully you'll listen to a blind old badger."
"Old what?" Wan says, and the spirit of truth vanishes, and soon he faces his ghost. "I'm tired of you!" Wan attacked his ghost and turned into a pool of Mercury around him, pulling Wan down. "Night Night" Ghost Wan pulls Wan into the poison while he screams in horror.
Wan wakes up in a cave on a rock bed, he groans.
"You're finally up. Thought you would sleep there forever," A voice said, a bit irritated. Wan saw someone making stew, "Be thankful I found you before any of those swamp benders did. You probably came because your Avatar senses were tingling." Wan looks to the side, Wan firebends a small flame. His eyes widen.
"Oh my goodness, T-Toph beifong?"
"Good to finally meet you, Avatar Wan," She said chuckling.
