Chapter 18

Fuyuka was suddenly rudely awakened by the loud pounding of sounds outside her house.

"Alright, alright, I'm coming already," she groaned groggily as she dragged her feet across her room to the living room.

The pounding on the door got louder and more urgent, so she quickened her steps to the front door. "Geez, what's with the urgency?" Fuyuka wondered out loud as she grabbed the door knob and yanked the door open.

After what felt like an eternity, the door was finally opened, much to Isuke's relief.

"Who are you?" Fuyuka asked the pink-haired girl as soon as she saw her.

"Where's Haruki? Is she in?" Isuke asked, ignoring her question.

"Wow, rude," Fuyuka thought to herself.

"Can I at least know your name first?" Fuyuka asked as politely as she could muster.

"Isuke. My name's Isuke and I need to speak to Haruki urgently," Isuke replied impatiently.

"Ohhhh you are big sis's girlfriend!" Fuyuka said in glee. "Nice to meet you. Come on in!" She opened the door wider to let Isuke in. "Wow, you are as pretty as she described."

Haruki talked about her to her family? Her face reddened at the thought.

"Wait here, ok. I'll go get her," Fuyuka said before going to Haruki's room.

When she reached Haruki's room, her big sister is nowhere to be found. However, she found a letter addressed to Isuke in an envelope. She took the letter and headed out to the living room again. By then, Haru and Tokaku had arrived and were gathered inside the living room as well.

"It's weird," she said when she was at the living room. "She's not here, but she left a letter for you though, Isuke-san."

Isuke's face paled slightly as she took the letter from Fuyuka.

"Come on, open it. Maybe she mentioned her whereabouts in the letter," Tokaku urged.

With trembling hands, Isuke tore open the envelope. By now, Fuyuka could feel the tension in the room and she started to get worried too.

"Will someone please tell me what's going on? Why are all of you here in the middle of the night? And where's Haruki?"

"That's what we are trying to find out," Tokaku said calmly.

Tokaku began to explain to Fuyuka what is going on as Isuke sat on the sofa to read the letter in private. Once she was done reading it, she folded the letter neatly and kept it in her bag, along with the bracelet. She wiped her tears from her eyes before standing up and joining them in their discussion.

"So, did she mention where she is in the letter?" Tokaku asked.

Isuke shook her head. She looked at Fuyuka and asked, "If you know your sister's whereabouts, please tell us."

"I really don't. She said she will figure something out with the money soon but I didn't know it will get this serious. When the thugs came the other day, they actually wanted me to work for them in order to repay the debts, but big sis wouldn't let them and fought with them. One of them gave her a shiner. When she blacked out, the thugs gave me their name card. Big sis asked for it when she woke up but I didn't know what she was gonna do with it. Now that Tokaku told me she had dropped out of school because she got a job offer, she must've offered herself to work for them," Fuyuka sobbed.

"Haruki, dammit!" Isuke suddenly shouted and banged her fist on the nearest wall, shocking everyone. "Why are you always so stupid and selfless?!"

Haru quickly went to comfort Isuke.

"Fuyuka, we tried asking your sister how much money she still owed the loan sharks, but she won't tell us. Do you know how much is it?" Isuke heard Tokaku asking Fuyuka.

"In total, eight hundred thousand yen, but she had paid them half, so we owed them another four hundred thousand."

"Jesus! All that trouble for a puny four hundred thousand yen!" Isuke shouted again. "I could've helped her!"

"We could've helped," Tokaku corrected. "But this is Haruki we're talking about. She won't accept our help."

"No, no… This can't be it. This can't be a dead end. There's got to be a hint somewhere," Isuke muttered as she paced back and forth and rubbed her forehead. It was very uncharacteristic of Isuke to be seen this way in front of Tokaku and well, everyone.

Suddenly, she stopped her pacing and turned to look at Haru. "Show me the message that Haruki sent you," she said.

Haru immediately unlocked her phone and opened Haruki's latest message.

"Haru," the message read. "You and Tokaku have been a very good friend to me. I know that you guys want to help me, but I won't accept it, as this is a very large amount I'm owing and I can't possibly accept that from you. But, you can help me by taking care of my family for me in the future. Maybe I'll need your help to pay my mom's hospital bills for three more months. Hey, don't worry about me ok. I'm enjoying the night view right now and it's really beautiful. Wish there is someone I can share it with."

Isuke skimmed through the message quickly and the last few sentences caught her attention. The only place Haruki could enjoy the night view is on the rooftop of the tallest building in this city.

"I know where she is!" Isuke exclaimed. Without waiting for the others to respond, she ran out of the house and jumped into her car and started the engine, before speeding off, with Haru, Tokaku and Fuyuka following behind.

Isuke had never driven so fast in her entire life. She had broken every speed limit trying to get to that building as fast as she could.


Dear Isuke, I don't know if I'll be alive or dead once you read this. Regardless, I still want to write you this letter just to get this off my chest.

Isuke stepped on the gas pedal as she neared the traffic light at the intersection. She passed the traffic light in the nick of time before it turned red. From her rearview mirror, she saw that Tokaku had run the red light.

I assume that by now, Haru should've already passed you the necklace that I fixed. I'm not sure if she passed you the message or not. Doesn't matter. I'll tell you anyway, since I have some time to kill.

I didn't use the money I made from Sumireko's deal to buy you that necklace. I bought it from the money I earned from other jobs. My useless old man… before he left us, he owed some loan sharks eight hundred thousand yen. The loan sharks couldn't find him after that, so they tracked us down. I paid the loan sharks four hundred thousand yen by using Sumireko's upfront cash from the deal I made with her.

"Tokaku-san, watch out! Another red light in front of us!" Fuyuka exclaimed from behind them. This time, Isuke had run the red light.

I know that telling you all these won't change the fact that I've betrayed you. It's not an excuse for you to forgive me, nor is it for you to pity me. I'm just telling you this because I really really want you to have the necklace. If you don't want it, I don't have anyone else to give it to and I don't want to carry it with me.

Isuke nearly lost balance of her car as she swerved at the sharp corner and almost hit a lamp post.

I wish I could turn back the time and change the past. Maybe I'd change it so that we've never met. I bring you nothing but pain. I'm a bad person. I don't even know how I could be so lucky to have someone like you in my life, but, Isuke, I don't deserve you. You deserve someone better. You're better off without me. My family will be better off without me too, as I can't provide for them. I've failed them. And I've failed you.

"Fuck, Haruki. You'd better not be doing anything stupid!" A stray tear rolled down Isuke's cheek as she changed her gear and increased the speed. She's almost there.

Regardless, I don't regret the time I've spent with you. I'll always remember our good times together and I hope you will too. I don't blame you though, if you've forgotten about it and me. I want you to be happy.

The building is right in front of her now. She parked her car haphazardly by the road side and stopped the engine, before jumping out of the car and sneaked into the building. Tokaku and the rest weren't so lucky because the security guard had caught them.

I'm signing off soon, Isuke-sama, but before I do, please know that this isn't what you think it is. You probably think that this is a suicide letter, but it is not. It's a letter for you in case I don't make it back from my new job. But if I do make it back, then I'll tell everything to you in person, if you'll give me a chance.

Isuke is now running up the four flights of stairs towards the building's rooftop. She pushed open the door and hoped that she isn't too late. She hoped that Haruki is still there and hadn't done anything stupid.

I love you.


Haruki had turned around when she heard the door behind her opened with a loud bang. She heard the familiar voice of Isuke shouting her name, and watched in wonderment as Isuke approached her. This must be a dream. She hadn't had enough sleep for the past few days after the breakup, and on top of worrying about her financial problem, she must be hallucinating that Isuke is here.

She could barely register the pain when she heard the slap first before she felt it on her cheek. Isuke had slapped her, and she didn't know why.

"Ow," Haruki complained as she rubbed her cheek where she had been slapped. "You're really here. For a minute there, I thought I was hallucinating you."

Isuke had never felt so happy, relieved and angry at the same time to see someone.

"What are you talking about? Of course I'm real."

"Ok… but what are you doing here, Isuke-sama? And what was that slap for?" Haruki asked in genuine confusion.

"What am I doing here?!" Isuke raised her voice in irritation. "You've got some nerves asking me that when…"

She was cut off by her phone ringing. "Yeah, she's here with me… she's still alive if that's what you're asking… ok, I'll put her on the line."

"It's Tokaku. She wants to talk to you," Isuke said before tossing her phone to Haruki.

"Hello?... oh, I'm ok… oh is it? I think my phone ran out of batteries or something… yeah… oh, hi Fuyuka… yes, I'm fine… don't worry about me… I'll explain everything to you soon, I promise."

Isuke could here the frantic voice of Haruki's sister on the other end of the line. Haruki hung up the phone and gave the phone back to Isuke.

"Did you see how much worry you have caused?" Isuke asked in an accusing tone. "And your lame reason is 'cause your phone ran out of batteries?"

"If you're here just to fight with me, just leave," Haruki said wearily and cast her look on the ground. "I don't have any of it left in me."

"… I'm not here to fight with you," Isuke said, her voice softer this time. She reached into her bag and took the letter out. "I'm here because Tokaku called me in the middle of the night saying that you left some sort of a suicide message for Haru. And then…" Isuke lifted the letter up in front of Haruki's face, before shoving it onto her chest. "… your sister gave me this 'not a suicide letter' letter from you."

Haruki looked up from the ground in alarm as she took the letter from Isuke. "You went to my house?"

"Of course! What else should I have done?"

"You shouldn't have. Now Fuyuka knows more than she could handle," Haruki said.

"Well, excuse me for being worried about you," Isuke said sarcastically, crossing her arms. "And maybe it's time for her to know the truth that her big sis is not a slave to her family!"

The thought of Isuke being worried about her lifted Haruki's spirits up, if only for a while. She shook that thought away because she didn't think she deserve her worries.

"I'm sorry for causing you guys to worry so much about me. But it'll be over soon, I promise you," Haruki said flatly as she turned to face the night view and leaned against the ledge. "Do you remember our first time here together, Isuke? I'd never forget it."

Of course Isuke still remembers it. She was about to tell Haruki that but suddenly, she saw something metallic poking out of Haruki's shirt. It couldn't be, could it? Her throat went dry as she sneaked behind Haruki and took it out from under her shirt.

"What's this?" Isuke asked, prompting Haruki to turn around and saw that her gun is now in Isuke's hand. She patted behind her back just to make sure.

"Hey, give it back!" she shouted as she reached for it, but Isuke held it out of her reach.

"So, you wrote me a 'not suicide letter' and then proceeded to come up here with a gun? How original," Isuke mocked. "Offing yourself in your favourite place. Do you even know how to use this thing?"

"Ok, first of all, this is not a suicide letter. You know what, I wasn't in the right state of mind when I wrote this and it was a mistake." Haruki said and she began to tear the letter up into pieces and threw it on the ground. "I didn't mean for you to get the letter this way, anyway!"

Isuke stared at the pieces of paper on the ground with a stoic expression on her face. "You shouldn't have written it in the first place then since you weren't in the right state of mind. Makes everything you say in it seemed so… meaningless."

Something in Haruki snapped and she glowered at Isuke. "Dammit, Isuke. I meant every single word I said when I told you that I…" she trailed off and shook her head. "… forget it. Just give me the gun and go home." She extended her hand for the gun, but Isuke shook her head.

"Not until you tell me what you're gonna do with it."

"No, just give it to me. I don't wanna fight you."

"You're not gonna off yourself with it, so you're gonna kill someone with it? Is that it? Huh?" Isuke asked relentlessly.

Haruki froze suddenly and sat on the ground. "Holy fuck. Is that it? Did Isuke guess right?" Isuke asked. She put the gun inside her bag and crouched down in front of Haruki.

When she spoke next, her voice wasn't as malicious as before. "You told your friends you got a job offer. Fuyuka said you offered yourself to work for the thugs who came to your house few days ago. So, you're gonna kill someone for them in order to repay your debts?"

When there was no answer from Haruki, she knew she had guessed right. She sat down on the ground next to Haruki and leaned against the ledge.

"In the letter, you mentioned that you might not make it back from this job. The person you're gonna kill must be some big shot, huh?"

Silence.

"Haruki, you know all these could be avoided if you actually just asked for help, right?" Isuke turned to look at Haruki, who had an unreadable expression on her face. "Why do you have to be such an altruistic idiot all the damn time? It must be so exhausting to be you!"

"Shut up! I tried to be selfish and look where that got me?"

"Ok, fair enough… but we're not here to talk about this today. So don't try to change the subject and answer my question. Who's your target?"

"It's some Yakuza boss, alright? They want me to kill him and will consider my debts paid. He will be at the airport at dawn and I'm supposed to be there to kill him," Haruki said, her voice cracked. "Even if I succeeded in killing him and made it out alive, I'll be a wanted person by the police and all the Yakuza members. I'm a dead person either way. That's why I said that wasn't a suicide letter."

"But you just accepted a suicide mission. Same difference," Isuke said with a shrug of her shoulder.

"What should I do then?" Haruki asked, her voice sounded desperate. "What can I do? If I don't do as they say, they will take Fuyuka and turn her into a prostitute. I have to protect her. It's my responsibility to protect my family. I'll do anything, if it's for my family. And yeah, I may be stupid, you may keep on calling me an altruistic idiot, but that's my decision and I'm responsible for my own action."

"Even if you know that your action and decision will hurt the ones who love you?" Isuke asked bitterly.

Both of them knew the implication behind Isuke's question. Haruki's expression contorted in agony as she stared silently at Isuke. This is the first time Isuke saw Haruki feeling so lost, cornered, conflicted and desperate. It pained Isuke to see the usually carefree and strong Haruki this vulnerable that her anger and resentment towards Haruki's betrayal dissipated. Before Isuke knew it, she gave into her instinct and reached out for her.

"Isuke… I…" the redhead began in a trembling voice, but was silenced by Isuke when she was pulled into an embrace.

Haruki started to cry as soon as Isuke hugged her. For the first time in weeks, Haruki felt relieved just by having Isuke letting her cry on her shoulder. "Isuke, I'm sorry…" she said in between sobs. "I'm so sorry…"

"It's ok, Haruki," Isuke said, surprising Haruki and even herself.

"No, it's not ok. How can it be ok?"

"You're right. What you've done to me is not ok. But what's done is done and we can't change the past. So, quit being stupid and say such things like your family is better off without you or that you don't deserve anyone. If anything, you deserve the world," Isuke said, her voice almost a whisper.

"What're you saying?" Haruki asked as she lifted her head up from Isuke's shoulder and looked at her.

"I'm saying that I forgive you, alright?" Isuke said, surprising herself again. "I forgive you," Isuke repeated, this time with more conviction as she lifted her hands to wipe Haruki's tears away.

"But I don't deserve your forgiveness," Haruki whispered, leaning into her touch.

"I knew you're gonna say that. I expected you to say that. But I'm still gonna give it to you no matter what," Isuke said, before looking away and leaning against the wall again. "Haruki, I may not totally understand why you did what you did… I mean, yeah, I get where you're coming from but, I just can't comprehend how you could do what you did to someone whom you considered a friend. Or maybe you never considered me as your friend to begin with."

"Isuke-"

"Let me finish first." Haruki nodded for Isuke to continue. "I've been doing some thinking recently. And I realized that I was partly to blame. I mean… I always brush you off by telling you that we're not that kind of friends, which gave a mixed signal to you. Whenever you wanted to talk about your problem with me, I never let you share beyond the superficial level. And when you asked me to give you a chance to explain yourself, I didn't give it to you. I can say that I hadn't been a very good friend to you, because let's face it, I used you too. I threatened to expose your secret to get you to do my biddings. And for that, I'm sorry."

"Isuke, please don't blame yourself. If it's any consolation, I didn't tell Haru about my loan sharks problem too."

"No, I'm not blaming myself for what you did to me. I'm blaming myself for not being a good friend to you," Isuke said. "What you did to me is wrong, but, I still choose to forgive you because I'm tired, Haruki. I'm tired of being angry. I'm tired of resenting you. I'm tired of being in this depression hole. I choose to forgive you because that's the only way I can move forward," Isuke said, her voice wavering. "I don't hate you, you know? I don't wish you dead. I choose to forgive you mostly for myself, and partly for you."

Isuke looked down at her hands. After a beat, she said in a soft voice. "I forgive you because I treasure you."

She chanced a shy glance at Haruki, who was already staring at her in complete shock and adoration. Leave it to Isuke to say what Haruki had always wanted to hear her say, but in a totally roundabout way. Haruki wanted to kiss Isuke right then and there but she knew it isn't the time and place for that right now. They had too many things unresolved.

Clearing her throat, Isuke asked, "So… can you accept my forgiveness and let me make it up to you by being a good friend to you, for once?"

"Ok… but you've already been a good friend by forgiving me, Isuke," Haruki said. "I don't know how I could ask for more from you, especially after what I've done to you."

"You can let me help you to pay off your debts, for starters. Then you don't have to drop out of school and then kill someone and die."

"You know I can't do that."

"Then that just means that you haven't accepted my forgiveness," Isuke said petutantly and pouted.

Haruki chuckled. She missed this side of Isuke. "Ok, even if I accepted your help, where are you gonna get all that money? I can't let you get it from your college fund."

"Then do you have a better idea?" Isuke asked. Haruki opened her mouth to reply, but was stopped by Isuke. "Except for your stupid idea of dropping out of school and becoming a Yakuza boss murderer."

Haruki closed her mouth. "I thought so," Isuke said. "Besides, I can easily earn back four hundred thousand yen. So, I'll get delayed to enroll myself into a University for a few years. So what? It's not the end of the world, compared to your problem right now."

"But it's not only about your college fund, Isuke. How about your plans to get out of this shitty town and bring your brother with you?" Haruki asked.

"Oh, about that… I guess I should tell you about my family updates. I've sorted out the differences with my dads and we're cool now, so that means there might be some changes to my future," Isuke explained, which got Haruki even more confused. "Nevermind, that's the story for another day. But right now, I need you to be selfish and ask for help. And then accept the help that's been offered to you. This is the healthy kind of selfish. And also, you're not a superwoman. You can't be carrying all those burdens on your own. There's a limit to how tough one can be."

A lopsided grin slowly spread across one side of Haruki's face. "For someone who always preaches about being selfish, you sure are being selfless right now helping me, Isuke-sama."

Isuke opened her mouth, but when she couldn't come up with a clever retort, she closed them and looked away.

Haruki snickered, but she didn't push the topic any further. "I'll accept your help on one condition though," Haruki said as she took a Pocky stick out from nowhere and popped it into her mouth. "I will accept your money as a loan because I'll pay you back."

"And how are you gonna do that?" Isuke asked. "By taking up more jobs as a weed dealer?"

"Is that suddenly a problem to you now?" Haruki asked defensively as she crossed her arms.

"No, I'm just saying that it'll take you a lifetime to pay me back 'cause I don't only want to help you with the four hundred thousand yen. I wanna help you with the hospital bills and all other bills too. So, how are you gonna pay me back with your meagre income from weed dealings and taking up other deals?"

"Why the generosity all of a sudden, Isuke?" Haruki asked as she narrowed her eyes in suspicion. "You know very well that I don't want to be treated as a charity case."

"Ah, so stubborn. It's pissing Isuke off," the pink-haired girl muttered under her breath. Suddenly, an idea formed in her head.

"It won't be a charity case if you work for my dads, right? They're going to start a small café business soon and they could use some help," Isuke suggested. "You work for them for free, whatever they tell you to do, but only on the weekends. That way, you don't have to drop out of school, and you won't have to worry about your financial problem, ever again. What do you think?"

Haruki chewed on her Pocky stick as she thought about it. It doesn't sound like a bad idea, but there's one thing nagging at the back of her mind.

"Let's say if I accept your help… what then? Where do we go from here after this?" Haruki asked carefully. "I know that we can't go back to how things were like before, but at the same time, it's killing me inside seeing you with a new arm candy kissing at every corner of the school."

Isuke bit back a smile as she said, "I've broke it off with her."

"Oh." Ok, that was fast and now Haruki didn't know how to react to that. There was a pregnant pause as both of them tried to think of something to follow up with that. Both of them didn't want to get their hopes up, but they also didn't want to disappoint each other again. They knew very well that they have some healings to do before jumping right back into their relationship. Finally, it was Isuke who broke the silence.

"To answer your question," Isuke began slowly. "I think we should take things slow. I'd like to get to know you better as a friend first, and be a better friend to you. Unlike you, I don't want to go back to the past and change it so that we never met, but I want to start things over. Our friendship got off on the wrong foot." Isuke looked at Haruki questioningly. "Is that ok?"

"That is very much ok," Haruki said with a face splitting grin.

Before Isuke knew it, she was smiling at Haruki too, and though her smile wasn't as big as Haruki's and it didn't really reach her eyes, but she knew that she had taken the next step towards the healing process. Things may not be the same as it used to be after this drama is over, but Isuke knew that they will be alright. "Come, let's go back to my house now and write a cheque to them. I'll need to wake my parents up too as we need their signature."

"You mean your parents will be involved too? Are you sure about that, Isuke?" Haruki asked, suddenly feeling doubtful. She had never met Isuke's parents before, and they had to get involved in her shit already.

"Don't worry, Haruki. I got this. I just need to convince them. Just leave it to me, alright?" Isuke said as she began to walk towards the rooftop door.

"But I haven't agreed to it yet!" Haruki shouted after her.

"Well, you don't have any other choice, 'cause the weapon you're gonna use to kill the Yakuza boss is still in my bag," Isuke said casually as she opened the door to exit. "I'll be going now."

"Shit." Haruki shook her head, before jogging after Isuke.

When Isuke and Haruki left the building, Haruki was greeted by a weeping Fuyuka in a crushing hug. Isuke explained to all of them what had happened and how she is going to help Haruki, before she and Haruki got into her car.

As Haruki sat on the passenger seat of Isuke's car, she couldn't help but to feel how weird this whole situation is. She was glad to be able to have the talk with Isuke, but now she is going to meet Isuke's parents to borrow some money from their daughter's college fund as a friend, not as her girlfriend. She started wondering if Isuke had even told her parents anything about her, or if her parents knew that she was the one who broke their daughter's heart. What if Isuke's parents don't want to help her because of that? Would her parents even help anyone whom they had just met?

From the corner of Isuke's eyes, she could see that Haruki was playing with her fingers nervously. She reached over to Haruki and took her hand into her own to calm her down. Naturally, their fingers interlaced with each other and Haruki stopped fidgeting immediately as she turned to look at Isuke and smiled appreciatively at her. Isuke gave Haruki a quick glance while maneuvering the car and returned the smile. A million words were spoken between them through this simple gesture. Haruki leaned against the passenger seat, feeling all the weights being lifted from her shoulders because finally, finally she didn't need to be the one taking care of something or someone. She had never realized it before, but she needed someone in her life to take care of her once in a while.


Ok, so for the sake of this fic, they're all 18 years old, or whatever the legal age in Japan is for having a driving license. Also, Isuke is 19 in manga canon.

And yeah, if you guys were expecting a real fight or assassination to go down, sorry to disappoint. I preferred how this chapter turned out.