Writer's Note:
Another superhero crossover fight, its Captain Underpants vs. DC's Superman. The man of steel goes up against the underwear clad 'Tra-la-la' superhero principal guy, who will prevail, find out...
A long time ago, there was a far-away planet known as Krypton, where its people known as the Kryptonites lived in peace and harmony. All was well until, one day, Krypton was faced with unavoidable destruction. As the end drew near, a Kryptonite couple loaded their infant son Kal-El onto a rocket that launched just as Krypton was destroyed.
The rocket flew through the depths of space, making its way into a solar system with the final destination being the planet known as Earth. Shortly after the rocket crash-landed, a couple found the rocket as well as the baby inside. Not very long after, the young Kal-El was adopted and took up the name of Clark Kent. Thus, a new life began for the last remaining Kryptonite in the universe.
Several years passed and, when Clark grew up, he became a journalist for The Daily Planet. However, his life changed when his hidden superpowers developed. Soon, Clark "Kal-El" Kent was more than a journalist, he became a superhero and went by the persona of 'Superman'. Gifted with X-ray vision, super-hearing, flight and incredible strength, Superman fought for justice against the forces of evil.
Elsewhere, two mischievous boys lived in a small town and attended an elementary school, where they dealt with a somewhat dislikable principle by the name of Mr. Krupp. However, things all changed when George and Harold got their hands on a hypno-ring and, using its power, they turned Mr. Krupp into the nice and intrepid underwear-clad heroic superhero CAPTAIN UNDERPANTS.
Over a lengthy period of time, George and Harold had many experiences with Captain Underpants and found themselves dealing with nefarious villains by the likes of Professor Poopypants and the Talking Toilets. Whenever trouble arises, the boys snap their fingers and Captain Underpants is there to take down the bad guys and help save as many people as possible.
In the time since the two heroes first arose to prominence, Superman or Captain Underpants have never crossed paths before in their lives. But, one particular day, that is about to change and the world may never be the same again after the fateful event of their encounter...
The sky was blue with no clouds in sight, the weather was calm and peaceful. The wind was blowing in reasonable directions, allowing one like him to fly to places unknown. His arms were outstretched, hands closed into light fists and his cape billowed behind him. Even after so many years, Superman was showing no signs of slowing down and stopping any time soon.
Today was Clark Kent's day off from his job at Daily Planet, freeing up the Kryptonian superhero to get some flying done and find plenty of people to help. So far, nothing had come up, there weren't any villains to take care of or people in need of saving. It had been months since Superman and his allies in the Justice League had dealt with any villains, all had been quiet on the bad guy side of the spectrum.
Superman didn't feel bored over the fact there were no enemies to fight, he strove for peace as that was what he was fighting for whenever he did battle with those out to harm the innocent, disrupt the peace as much as possible and enslave the world. He'd faced many foes over the years, from villains to rogue superheroes. He would never forget the time he fought Batman; it was quite an experience.
At least they'd been on good terms ever since they sorted out their misunderstanding that had been part of their fight in the first place, Superman occasionally paid the Dark Knight a visit whenever he traveled to Gotham City. He always made sure to check in on his fellow superheroes, Aquaman was doing fine and Wonder Woman was taking care of business on her home island.
Despite being focused on flight, the Kryptonian justice fighter did not watch where he was flying and almost ran right into something which missed him by inches. However, he did feel a gust of wind as the thing he almost flew into flew past him. Superman halted and turned to spot someone with a red cape and a cone-head, the person nearly looked... cartoon-y.
The mysterious caped person turned around and Superman was taken aback as he saw that he'd just about come into contact with a bald and fat, underwear and cape-clad man floating in the sky. The man looked at him, a mischievous grin slowly forming on his face as he took in what he was seeing. Superman's new friend raised his right hand, pointing his finger upwards and declared, "TRA LA LAAAH!"
'It couldn't be.' Superman thought, he'd heard rumors flying around. Yet, he never expected them to be true. Never in his life did he think this was going to happen, but it was too late now, Superman had finally come face to face with the ridiculous and cartoonish superhero Captain Underpants. "What have we here?" Captain Underpants said as he looked at Superman, "You're like nothing I've seen before."
"And you're one of the most impossible and ridiculous concepts the universe has ever known." Superman remarked, pointing at Captain Underpants, "I hear you are also supposed to be a school principal until two boys turned you into who you are now, as a matter of fact, I heard that you were supposed to only exist in a kids comic."
"HA! Me? A kids' comic? You take back the insult before I say you're not supposed to be a real superhero but someone from another planet with powers that make you like a superhero, as a matter of fact, you just asked Captain Underpants to give you a subatomic wedgie in your undershorts. Prepare to get your underpants kicked, red-caped man. TRA LA LAAAA!"
Captain Underpants flew at Superman and tried to ram him with his head, seeking to knock him out of the sky. Luckily, the Kryptonian saw it coming and floated out of the way. Before the underwear-clad bozo could wheel around, Superman utilized his frost breath and blew a gust of snowy wind from his lungs at Captain Underpants, who was shocked when he felt his legs freeze up.
"WHOAAAAAAAAAA!" Superman watched for a brief period as his nemesis began to fall from the sky, the effect of frozen legs causing enough weight to make Captain Underpants lose his flight. Eager to humiliate him further, Superman flew after him and fired his signature eye lasers from his eyes at Captain Underpants and hit him in the back. "AAAAAAAH!" Captain Underpants cried out in shock and pain.
KER-KSH! The ice around his legs suddenly shattered, likely due to the fall, allowing Superman's rival to regain his flight. Captain Underpants turned to face the defender of justice but, before he could do anything, Superman flew in and punched him in the gut. "Ooooh, right in the jellies." Captain Underpants groaned, experiencing a compulsion and slight stomach ache from when he got punched in the gut.
Superman grabbed Captain Underpants and they began wrestling in the air, punches flew and the two threw each other around. "Up, up and away you go." Captain Underpants yelled as he tossed Superman high into the air. "WEDGIE TIME!" The Kryptonian yelled and punched the flying fat man in the eyes, blinding him as the brave alien wheeled around him and grabbed the upper rim of his underpants.
He pulled back on Captain Underpants' nicks, gaining enough humanly impossible distance as the cartoonish underwear-clad superhero struggled and nearly blushed as air rushed down his pants. Superman stopped, feeling he had enough distance and let go. The back of the underwear sprang back towards Captain Underpants and hit him hard.
"OOH!" He cried, spinning around in pain and feeling a sense of dizziness, "What a wedgie!" Superman flew in, focused on taking down Captain Underpants before he could recover. He grabbed him and began to fly down towards the surface, taking his foe with him. "Let go of me, you fool!" Captain Underpants protested, "You will regret this humiliation, I will not be made a laughing stock!"
"You're already a laughing stock," Superman remarked, "The one laughing while being laughed at." Focusing with all his strength, the Kryptonian fighter carried Captain Underpants all the way down towards the ocean below and, as they neared the bottom, Superman took his foe's arm and dragged him through the water while flying in the air.
"BLRBRLRBRLBLR!" Captain Underpants spluttered as he received a face full of water, protesting despite Superman ignoring him. He chucked him into the air and fired his laser at Captain Underpants again, grazing him and then flew up to Krypton Kick him even higher. "Ahhhhhhh!" Captain Underpants cried, feeling an inch of pain from the laser and the kick.
"Take this!" Superman flew over him and delivered a drop kick to the head. Captain Underpants groaned as his vision spun and blurred, he was falling now, falling towards the ocean. As he lost consciousness, Captain Underpants hit the ocean and lay still as he floated in the water. Superman smiled as he watched, knowing it would be a while before he dealt with anyone like him again.
With the fight over, Superman flew off elsewhere to get a drink and take a little superhero nap. For him, it was just another day in the life of a superhero...
The End
