Chapter 4

Sara isn't sure how she found herself in yet another bar, she was pretty sure she meant to go home and bury her sorrows inside a cocoon of pillows and blankets. Instead, she somehow ended up in a seedy part of the citadel drowning her sorrows in glass after glass of of a drink she can't remember the name of. Enjoying the burning sensation as it flows down her throat and through her limbs. She was starting to see why people drink. With each tip of her glass she could feel her heartache over Jazan slowly morph to anger. How dare he? He knows she's never been with anyone else before, knows that she would never be interested in just a casual fling. He asked her out and then left her for some purple piece of scaly ass not even 24 hours later? She slammed her glass down on the counter, watching the amber liquid splatter around her glass before they started to shimmer and change colors. She grimaced, and then there was that too! She vaguely remembers reading something about how drell fluid can affect humans sometimes, something she learned when she researched to learn more about the drell shortly after she met him. She had dismissed it at the time, was still dismissing it now. Not like she'll ever have to worry about it again. She was so engrossed in her own self-pity she didn't notice a set of green eyes watching her from afar. Screw it! she thought, throwing back the last of her drink. She stood up on wobbly legs and made her way to the dingy dance floor. She didn't need him, she didn't need any man if it would make her feel like this. She was numb and unaware and she was going to let loose for the first time in her life, this was her 21st birthday after all.

She squeezed her way into the mass of worming bodies and lost herself to the beat. She could spend all night here she realized. There was nothing but music and warmth caressing her from the outside while the unknown amount of drinks she had caressed her from the inside. She wasn't sure exactly when warmth turned solid, but when she brought her hands down to meet a pair of arms that had wrapped themselves around her waist she couldn't find the will in her to care. She grinded into her new dance partner like someone who had been dancing this way their whole life. Looking back to see who had graced her with their presence, she smiled upon seeing the stranger and brought her hands up behind her head to touch his hair and neck. Human. Familiar. He was cute too. A guy that looked to be about her age, tan skin with black hair and a smirk on his face that made any resistance she had left over by the alcohol melt. He leaned his head down and kissed her neck, her head craning to the side almost by itself, not that she was putting up a fight at this point.

"Do you want to get out of here?" he asked. She should say no. She knew better than this and something in the back of her mind told her she should leave, but that voice was quickly silenced by the feeling of his hands rubbing up and down her stomach. When had his hands pushed her shirt up? Why was she still asking questions?

She smiled "Lead the way" She was past the point of thought at this point and was just listening to her body, and her body wanted the arms around her right now.

He led her to what she assumed must be his apartment. It was, what would be in hindsight, a very nice place. Lavish. Expensive. All chrome and nice artwork, the best furniture and the newest vid screen. But at the moment everything just looked like a lust filled silver haze to her. He led her to what she assumed must be his bedroom, they were all kissing and hands and she doesn't think that they've even separated since leaving the club. Flopping down on the bed they quickly tore their clothes off, not even bothering with the pretense of romance or foreplay. They eventually got everything but their soul guards off and wiggled their way into a comfortable position with her on bottom and he on top.

Sara reached her hands up to thread it in his hair as he assaulted her neck with rough kisses and bites. Fondling her breasts he separated her legs with his knees and straightened himself, the severity of the position was like a glass of ice water on her mind and the haze she has been living in the past few hours lifted a bit. "Wait!" she tried to call out to him, but she didn't get very far before he silenced her with a rough kiss and slid all the way in. She hissed in pain, instinctively trying to pull back but he followed her deeper into the mattress and she had no where else to go. She didn't even know his name! She realized. She had no idea who this guy was and here she was in his apartment fucking him!

Her inner turmoil was unknown to him as he just kept pumping, panting in her ear and occasionally offering some kisses to her lips and neck. The copious amounts of alcohol she consumed earlier in the evening was still swimming through her system, making her more relaxed than she probably should be. Her body slowly starting to respond to her lover's movements and the pain of his initial intrusion slowly started to turn to pleasure. He smirked as she started moaning and increased his pace. All too soon, or too late she couldn't tell, it was over. He thrust one last time with a grunt, almost slamming into her, then sighed in pleasure and rolled off. She lay there, panting, not knowing what to think. Not sure how much she even could think. The days events quickly catching up to her and she suddenly felt so very tired. She turned and looked at him, intending to at least ask him his name before she passed out but instead of seeing him looking back at her as she expected all she saw was his back. He stood up and pulled a robe on before promptly leaving the room and closing the door behind him. Frowning, she turned over and snuggled into the overly fluffy blankets and fell asleep. She'll deal with all of this in the morning. Maybe it was just all a bad dream.


Sore. Sore was the first thing she felt upon waking, why was she so sore? Sara sat up and grabbed her head, trying in vain to stop it from swimming. When she felt like she could open her eyes without pain she looked around and froze, last night suddenly coming back to her. No way that really happened she thought. Looking around she expected to see the light tones of her bedroom or maybe even the darker hues of Jazan's place, but instead she was met with the fluffy white carpet and golden drapes of a bedroom she didn't recognize. She suddenly felt sick, jumping out of bed to the nearest door hoping it was a bathroom. Thank God it was. She dropped herself to floor in front of the toilet and promptly threw up. She didn't know whether she was throwing up due to the situation she found herself in or what she is confident will be her first and last hangover. When she was done she stood on shaky legs and made her way over to the mirror. Her reflection shocked her. She was naked, obviously, her hair tangled in a way that will make it a bitch to comb out and her breath smelled rancid but that's was all to be expected. No, it was the myriad of hickeys and bruises that now splattered her skin. Various hickeys and bite marks along her neck, bruises on her breasts and hips evidence of the rough treatment she endured last night. Sex wasn't supposed to be like that was it? No. she thought bitterly It wasn't. She may be inexperienced but even she knew that...what that was wasn't proper sex. At least she hoped to God it wasn't! Sex...something whispered in her mind ...not lovemaking she frowned. Looking down at her arm her frown only deepened, seeing her soul guard slightly pushed up and revealing the last few letters of her soul mate's name. She straightened it back to it's proper place as the reality of what she had just done truly hit her. She just had a one night stand with some random dude she bet in a bar. She was no longer a virgin, and that scared her. She always vowed she would save herself for her soul mate, so much so that being a virgin became almost part of her identity, now that she didn't have that anymore...she didn't know what to do.

She decided to table those thoughts until later when she was home and safe. Not that she didn't really feel safe. Even as she was getting dressed in the middle of some dude's bedroom she didn't really feel that scared. She knew how to defend herself especially against another human thanks to all the training her father drilled into her in her youth. The fact that the house she was in was bright and non-threatening certainly did help things though. Fully dressed she picked up her omni-tool and flicked it on, cringing at the bright orange light it produced. She cringed harder when she saw all the missed messages and calls she had. Fuck she needed to get home. Turning to leave a silver glint caught her eye. It was her necklace, the one Jazan gave to her yesterday, it was on the floor half way under the nightstand. Picking it up she stared at it in her hand. She debated putting it back on remembering the fact that it, or rather he, was the reason she got herself into this predicament in the first place decided to just stuff it in her pocket instead. She would think on Jazan later, right now she just needed to get home.

She stepped out of the bedroom and down the stairs to what she assumed should be the living room given the layout of the house she had seen so far. She was right, partially, it was more of a living room/kitchen combo and a woman with a stern face and blond hair tied into a bun was siting at the breakfast nook. She stood upon seeing Sara enter the room and frowned, throwing her gaze towards the living room side where her "lover" sat on the couch watching the vid screen.

"Really Thomas!? Another one!?" she yelled at him. He just raised his hand at her, not even bothering to get up off the couch yelling "Sorry mom!" back. "Yes well" she replied "We will certainly be talking about this again later. Now you!" she snapped at Sara causing her to jump a little, not expecting to be talked to so aggressively in such an uncomfortable situation. "My name is Anita Goyle and I apologize for my son Thomas' behavior. I will be transferring you some credits you can use to take a cab home and I trust you will keep whatever happened between you and my son last night discrete." She said as she brought up her omni-tool to hers and then quickly shuffled her to the front door. Sara didn't even get a chance to get a word in, not that she would even know what she would say, before she found herself outside the apartment looking at the mother as she closed the door in her face saying "Thank you for your discretion and have a nice day."

She couldn't even find it in herself to be annoyed, not right now, she just wanted to get home. Turing to try and find a cab she was pretty sure she heard yelling from the other side of the door. Anita Goyle huh? Why did that name sound so familiar?


It had been a month since Sara's drunken one night stand. Her family obviously wasn't very happy with her when she got home. She had never seen her father so mad before, or her brother for that matter. Shortly after she had left Jazan had tried to find her and alerted Scott to her disappearance when he couldn't, they searched all over the strip for her and even alerted C-Sec when they couldn't find her. Apparently C-Sec had better things to do than look too hard for some drunk human on her 21st birthday and said they would alert the Ryders if they had found she'd gotten into any trouble. Thankfully it hadn't come to that, but her family was still pissed. Even after explaining herself her parents still watched her like a hawk for weeks after.

She tried her best to avoid Jazan, finding herself unable to face him. Whether that be because of her anger over his betrayal or her shame about the evens after she didn't know. He kept calling and messaging her, he even came by the house a few times before her dad chased him away. He must have been talking to Scott because even he was trying to push her to talk to Jazan. Sara knew she was being a coward by refusing to speak with him but what was she supposed to say? She couldn't avoid him very long however, considering they worked together it only took him 3 days to finally corner her. She was sitting on her knees checking the pH levels of the water in an exhibit of an Thessia native creature that kind of reminded Sara of a mix between a penguin and seal of her own native planet when she heard a deep baritone voice from behind her.

"Sara..."

Tensing up Sara took a deep breath and sighed, trying to will her back muscles back to a relaxed state. I can't be a coward forever she thought Might as well get this over with. Abandoning her gear she stood up and turned, fully intending to rip into him for the crap he pulled that night. Once she looked into his eyes however she just...couldn't. He looked so miserable. Ragged. His scales seemed slightly duller and his body language screamed exhaustion. He looked like he hadn't slept at all the 3 days they were apart. Worst of all were his eyes. His big black eyes she used to love looking into seemed to have lost the spark they once had. Seeing all this Sara's anger simmered down to a tolerable level, he was obviously suffering as well if he looked this bad. Thoughts from the last few days seemed to be whispering again. Maybe it was the booze that made him kiss that woman? Maybe it was something in the drink that affected with his physiology and he can't even remember what happened? Maybe he has no idea why I was avoiding him? Then remembering what she had done that night compared to what he did...she suddenly felt very guilty and scared.

"C'mon Jazan" she finally said "My shifts about over anyway. Let's go talk" Sara missed the relieved look on his face when she turned to gather her gear. They headed out to put away her things before walking to the base of a large tree on the edge of the zoo that they would often times sit to eat together during their lunch breaks.

Arriving at the tree Sara turned and leaned against it, she crossed her arms and waited. She tried to look guarded but knew she was probably failing. Jazan didn't miss the defensive posture and braced himself for the conversation he had been rehearsing for the past 3 days.

"Sara" he started "First let me say I'm sorry. I am so so very sorry. I know I hurt you and I know you have been avoiding me and you have good reason to but please just let me explain what happened."

Sara sighed and uncrossed her arms, nodding at him to continue. He smiled. Atleast she was hearing him out.

"That night...I had obviously had too much to drink. I had drunk before but never to that extent. I did not however drink to much that it should have severely impacted my actions and it certainly didn't affect my memory. I remember sitting with you at the bar and..." He felt like he was stumbling over his words. He looked into her eyes and decided it was best to just show her, as much as he could anyway. He let himself fall into the memory of that night.

Bright lights dancing in the air. Sweet taste of fruit flavored alcohol on my tongue. A small pale hand pulls my head towards hers. We kiss with no abandon, kiss like I never had before. An intoxication fills me even stronger than that of the liquid in my stomach. For that of the woman in my arms. Our kiss ends and I look into her beautiful eyes, blue shinning clearing than sea on Kahje. "Sara" I murmur. She smiles and I feel myself compelled to kiss her again.

Jazan pulls himself out of his memory before it gets to the next part, the part that started all this mess. He feels a strange sense of apprehension, shame and glee to tell her this next part. He looks into her eyes and wills her to understand and accept what he has to say. "Do you remember a long time ago when we talked about the different ways our species finds our soul mates?" he asked

Sara was a little shocked at the question but nodded. That is not something she expected him to ask. "That drell dream of their soul mates right?"

He smiled "Yes. We do. Drell will at times dream of the things their soul mates have experienced. Almost like we are living their memories. I have only had a small handful of mine..." Jazan trailed off.

Sara froze. He can't be serious can he? Is he really implying what I think he is? "Jazan" she spoke up in a quite voice "Did you…?"

"A week before your birthday I had a soul dream. I dreamt I was boarding a ship from Kahje. I had just put away all my things in my personal quarters and when I went to the bathroom and looked in the mirror I saw..." He looked at Sara to see an emotion he didn't recognize swimming in her eyes. Arashu he hoped he wouldn't lose his best friend over this. "I saw the woman from the club. The purple drell." he finished.

Sara gasped, suddenly finding her voice. "So that woman from the club is...your soul mate?" she asked. He nodded and almost looked ashamed. All the bad emotions she had up until this conversation were forgotten as she squealed and jump hugged him.

Surprised at her reaction he just stood there as she clung to him "You...you're not mad?" He asked. He couldn't believe she was hugging him right now.
Sara looked up at him and laughed "No you silly man of course I'm not mad! You finally found your soul mate! That's amazing!"

Jazan couldn't help himself and wrapped his arms tightly around her smaller frame. He buried his face in her neck and couldn't hold back the sob that had been fighting to get out of his chest since he couldn't find her in the club that night. Even if she was happy for him he still felt the need to explain himself to her. Still holding his head where it was he cried out "I'm so sorry Sara! Even though were together and were kissing even when I saw her...I just...I just knew! I couldn't stop myself from going to her. It was like everything else around me was gone and I just had to get to her. It was only after I had kissed her that the world came back and I realized you were gone and what it had looked like to you." He pulled both their faces him and buried his hand in her hair, if only to do it one last time. "I truly do hope you can forgive me for my horrible behavior to you, on your birthday no less." She laughed lightly and only then did he realize they both had been crying. All the pent-up emotions from the last few days finally being released for the both of them. They disentangled themselves from each other and sat at the base of the tree, side by side.

"Sooo you found your soul mate" Sara couldn't keep the smile off her face. No matter how upset she had been with him, how can she be mad when it was something like this? She wish she would have talked to him days ago. "What's her name?

Jazan couldn't stop himself from smiling either, looking up into the artificial clouds. Just thinking of his soul mate, even with everything that had happened, had him all giddy. "Amira"

"Amira huh? …. So does this mean we're no longer together?"

Jazan's looked over so quick she swore she heard his neck pop. Sara laughed so hard she fell over and realizing she was just joking with him Jazan joined in her laughter. He looked up at the sky again, finally completely happy. He had his friend back and now his soul mate. How could things possibly go wrong now?


OMG she lives! Yes I am still here and I am so so super duper sorry I have been gone for over half a year! I have no excuses...but here they are:

- I have been busy with life during covid changes. I have 4 kids, 2 who are school age and 2 who are toddlers so we've been doing virtual school while still making time for the little ones. It's a challenge but I believe we've got the hang of it now.
- I also have been busy starting up my own business. I have started a leather crafting business :) I've been using all my spare time (which is mostly after the kids go to bed) practicing my leather work and I just finished my first commission and got myself a logo! I've been trying to make more stuff so I can actually display some work on my pages lol.
- Other more boring things...

Anyway, thank you for all those who have stayed with me or even read my story once and left I am still very grateful :) I will be trying to make sure I have time to write because I totally do not plan on abandoning this fic That and the announcement of the Mass Effect Remake maaayyy have gotten me excited for the fandom again :D

P.S. 10 points to anyone who can guess where I got the names Jazan and Amira from :)