Chapter 5

It had been a little over a month since the fiasco of the twin's 21st birthday and things had gone relatively back to normal after Sara's talk with Jazan. She didn't feel the need to avoid him anymore and she even got the chance to meet Amira who apologized profusely for her role in the whole mess. Sara couldn't find it in herself to hold it against the woman. She can't imagine what it must feel like to see your soul mate for the first time, much less see him kissing another woman. Sara looked down at her soul guard and frowned, atleast Amira knew what her soul mate looked like. Amira had explained that she saw Jazan when he looked in a mirror during one of her soul dreams.

It's just not fair! She thought sighing and flopping back down on her bed, abandoning her previous task of finding a shirt to wear that day. Why do drell get dreams and humans only get names? It must be so much easier for them to find their soul mates. Sara thought as she undid her guard to run her fingers along her intricately written soul name for what must have been the millionth time by now. "When am I going to find you?" she whispered. She tried not to worry but she couldn't help it. Now that Jazan had found his soul mate, at such a young age no less since he was only a few years older than her, it had her thinking about her own more and more. She had done countless hours of research trying to find the language, the species...anything about the mark written on her arm but still had come up with nothing. It was getting very demoralizing, especially after her one nightstand. Sara cringed just thinking about the fact that she had a one nightstand. Her brother has had a few over the years she knew, but it was something that she swore she would never do. Swearing to save herself for her soul mate. Looking at her mark again, she was almost a little afraid to finally find him having not saved herself like she wanted anymore...almost.

"Hurry up Sara! We're starting in 10 minutes with or without you!" Her father's voice rang from down the hall.

She sighed again and strapped her guard back into place. While things with Jazan and even Scott had gone back to normal, that didn't mean her parent's had forgiven her as easily. Sara had told her parents and brother pretty much everything that happened that night, except for the drunken sex part. She just couldn't face what her family would say or do if they knew, plus it wasn't any of their business really. Not that she thought Scott would care all that much, it's not like he hadn't slept around himself. She had come back safe and sound on her own so there was no need to tell them, instead lying and saying she just got a hotel room for the night. She did have a hell of a time hiding all the marks from her brother though. She ended up having to borrow some makeup from a friend to help cover the more obvious ones that she couldn't cover with clothes. They still had not disappeared all together but they were getting lighter and easier to hide. Looking at them helped morph any guilt she had over losing her virginity to anger at the asshole who inflicted them on her. She almost wanted to tell her brother about them just to see him find the guy but decided against it, not like anything could be done about what happened now anyway even if it did still piss her off thinking about it. Asshole.

Her mother had given her quite the lecture, not having the strength to do much more than that it seems. If Sara had any regret more than losing her virginity to some random dude it was disappointing her mother. She was so weak now, spending all of her time at home either in bed or in her chair in the living room almost solely being cared for by her children at this point. Alec instead had doubled down on her training on her days off. Her father's chosen punishment being making her spend the majority of her savings on a top of the line tactical cloak upgrade and training her for hours on end to use it. Funnily enough the money that Anita Goyle lady sent her payed for most of it but she wasn't going to tell her father that. Between that and his ramped up hand to hand training everyday after work she didn't have much time to go out at night anymore, which I guess was his plan all along. Not that she wanted to, she was never a big nightlife party girl anyway and the 1 big nightlife party night she had certainly didn't change her mind about it.

She stood up a bit too quickly at the sound of her father yelling her name again and was hit by a wave of nausea. Bracing herself against the wall she waited for it to pass before she finished getting dressed and headed out the door. Great she thought bitterly Now I'm getting sick that's JUST what I needed. She stopped by the kitchen to grab a quick ration bar on her way out, hoping that getting some food in her stomach would help settle it a bit. Her father and brother were already sparring by the time she made it out to their training room. Her friends had always found it odd that they even had a training room in their house, most apartments on the Citadel didn't have room for one and even if they did they wouldn't waste the space on it. Space is a precious commodity here, but having an N7 father had it's perks I guess. It was a decent sized room with sleek black mats covering a large portion of the floor in the middle and various workout equipment sitting neatly along each side. The front wall being covered completely with floor to ceiling mirrors to help keep watch of your form, or help check yourself out as she caught Scott doing once. Sara smirked at the memory of his reddened cheeks when she caught him, she is so never going to let him live that down.

"Sara" She broke out of her memory when she heard her name being called. Looking up she saw her mother sitting in the corner of the room with her omni-tool flickering on her lap, most likely reading a book. Sara smiled and walked towards her mother. It was so good to see her out of her usual spaces. Walking has been getting harder for her but she has been determined to move as much as she could, much to her father's dismay who keep trying to get her to stay still and preserve her strength. Sara really shouldn't be surprised to see her there. "Are you alright dear?" Her mother asked when she finally got to her "You look a little pale, are you sure you want to train today?"

"I'm fine Mom I just woke up that's all" Sara replied while holding up her half eaten ration bar for her mother to see "Not like Dad would let me out of it today anyway"

"Hrmm yes I don't know what's gotten into your father lately. He's been going far too hard on both you and Scott. Perhaps I'll have a talk with him later tonight." Her mother frowned.

Sara didn't want to say anything not wanting to change her mother's mind, she was getting tired of all this training anyway. It's not like there is even anything she is training FOR since she's not going into the service. Basic training made sense just for self-defense purposes but she didn't see the point in all this advance stuff. Not like you need it very much in her field of work. Her father called her name and beckoned her to the sparring ring. She walked forward grumbling and just lamented that she was going to be in a bad mood today.


The next month was hell on the whole Ryder family. Her mother's health had taken a serious downturn and she was now at a care facility for full time care. Her father didn't take it well and delved himself into work even more than usual. Sara and Scott spent their time more often than not alone in the apartment. Sara still had no idea what this big fancy classified project was that he has been working on for years but she only hoped that her father was spending some of his time away with his wife. Sara's own health was taking a downturn as well. She was constantly feeling sick and sore and could barley hold anything down. Scott, having his mother become so sick she needed full time care and now seeing his sister sick for multiple weeks strait, became almost necrotic in trying to take care of her. It's not like their father was ever around to help.

He hadn't been out in weeks and Sara finally forced him to go out for a night with some friends to let off some steam and have fun.

"Are you SURE I should leave Sara? What if you throw up again?" Scott tried as his sister threw his jacket at him.

Sara placed her hands on her hips and tried to look intimidating, which she was probably failing at considering her stomach was churning again at her quick movements. "I'm not a fucking invalid you know you can leave me alone and I will be fine! Besides..." she turned and gestured at Amira who was sitting off to the side and watching their argument with amusement. "I have Amira here with me if I need anything. Now you and Jazan please go! Go out to eat, go see a movie, go mini-golfing for all I care just get out of the house!" she ended her rant while playfully pushing him out the door.

"Alright! Alright! I'm goin! I'm goin!" Scott lamented "Just call me if you need anything ok?"

"Noted. Byyeeee!" Sara said as she went to shut the door. Before it closed all the way she saw Jazan turn to Scott and ask "What's mini-golfing?".

She chucked as she turned to Amira, she was about to ask her what she wanted to do tonight while the boys were out, but before she could get a word out her stomach squeezed and she ran past the drell to barley make it to the kitchen sink to throw up. "This is bullshit!" she cried in between her dry heaves. Amira showed up and started rubbing her back soothingly. "I haven't even eaten anything I am just throwing up stomach acid at this point!"

"Haven't you been to a doctor?" Amira asked, upset at seeing her friend in such a state.

"Yea...but the medicine they gave me obviously isn't working. I think I'm going to make an appointment with someone else tomorrow. That guy barley looked me over before he thrust a bottle of pills at me!" she replied as she wiped her mouth and turned to look at her friend.

Amira rubbed her fused fingers together, something Sara hadn't seen her do since their first conversation where she and Jazan explained they were soul mates. "What's up Amira?" Sara asked now that her stomach had settled down again.

"I...I was just wondering if...well...I don't know how you'd take this in human culture. Among the drell a friend asking is ok but I know other cultures are different..."

Sara frowned "What are you wanting to say Amira? I promise I won't get mad or anything" she finished with a laugh.

Amira finally looked her in the eye "Sara do you think you might be pregnant?"

"...WHAT?"

Amira pulled out something that looked suspiciously like a pregnancy test and handed it to her. Sara looked down at it. Yup...that's pregnancy test.

"Like I said, for the drell this kind of thing would be alright to ask among friends. Our population is so low that pregnancy is seen as a joyous time and, back home on Kahje anyway, we are happy to share the news with everyone. But since humans don't have the same population issues we do I wasn't sure if this was appropriate." Sara was still looking down at the box in her hand "But your symptoms are similar to what a drell woman experiences during early pregnancy, albeit yours are a lot more extreme. I read up on human pregnancies and they seem to match up there as well so I got you a test just in case."

Sara finally looked up at her with wide eyes in shock. "I..I mean yea it's fine...I just wasn't expecting this at all." Sara laughed "No I'm not pregnant, I can't be." She started to walk to the bathroom waving the test "But I'll take it anyway just for the laughs yea? Why don't you go find a movie or something to turn on and I'll grab some snacks when I get out?"

She didn't wait for Amira's response before she closed the door. A part of her was panicking inside. No there was no way right? she thought to herself while pacing the floor of the bathroom There's just no way. It was ONE time there is no way I am getting pregnant the ONE time I have sex! She decided to just get it over with so she could stop worrying. She turned it over and got a good look at the box. All these years of technical advancements and the best way to tell if you are pregnant apparently is still just to pee on a stick. After she had done the deed she let it sit and stew for a minute like the box told her, debating on the best way to dispose of it so her parents and brother never found it. After a minute she flipped it over and almost dropped it.

POSITIVE


"Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit Amira! Shit!" Sara yelled as she furiously threaded her fingers through and shook her hair, pacing back and forth in the living room. "Are you sure it's right? I mean maybe it's a false positive? That happens sometimes right?"

Amira looked back at her friend and shook her head in sympathy. Having just been told the whole story, she is the only person who knows Sara didn't just go to a hotel that night. "I actually got one of the more expensive ones, they are just as accurate as a blood test. It came with 2 more strips if you want to try those to make sure."

"Yea I already did" Sara replied and Amira didn't need to ask to know those both came back positive too. "What am I going to do?" she moaned and sat down on the couch with her head in her hands.

"What do you want to do?" Amira asked. She knew there were multiple options on the citadel, from organizations that help with single mothers to adoption agencies to abortion clinics.

Sara took in a deep breath and let it out through her nose before she looked up at her friend again. "I'm going to keep it" she said with conviction "I've always wanted a big family with lots of kids. I can't imagine giving one of my kids up if I can help it...I just wanted to have them with my soul mate." she finished sadly.

"What was the father's name?"

"Pfft not the name under my soul guard I can tell you that."

Amira gave a pained smile "I know that but if you plan on keeping the baby then you should tell the father don't you think? He may want to be in the child's life or if anything you could get some kind of support from him."

Sara sighed and closed her eyes to try her best to remember that night. Most of it was still pretty fuzzy for her, not for the first time she was envious of the kind of memories drell have. "I remember his mother's name was Anita Goyle. She was very adamant about me not sticking around but the guy never told me his name...wait she did yell at him while I was there. Tim? No...Th...Thomas!" She yelled opening her eyes. "His name was Thomas Goyle!"

"Goyle?" Amira asked and it was her turn to look shocked "Are you sure she said Goyle?"

"Yea, pretty sure why?"

"Anita Goyle is the human ambassador. She came by the drell embassies 2 days ago to speak with the hanar ambassador."

Sara had forgotten that Amira worked as a receptionist for the drell/hanar embassy. "If that's the case he won't be hard to fine" Sara said with a sad smile. Atleast that part will be easy. She looked down at her stomach which she was cursing just an hour ago...now…

"What do you want to do?" Amira asked her again

Sara sighed again and rubbed her hands on her face, trying to get her thoughts strait enough to respond. So many things to think about now. "Ok" she said "Ok I have to make a plan. I have to let Thomas know I'm having his kid, considering how that night went I can't see him wanting to be an involved father though. I need to find an apartment of my own, I can't exactly raise my baby here. I mean I CAN but I don't really want to. I've been kind of looking at apartments for myself anyway since mom got moved into that place. And...and I need to tell Scott." That was not a conversation she was looking forward to.

Amira noticed her hesitance at her brother's name. "Your afraid to tell your family?" she asked She knew that human culture was different that her own of course, but she couldn't imagine fearing telling her family something as big as this.

"Not afraid exactly...just nervous. I know I can do this, my job pays well enough that I won't be struggling. Scott will freak out but he'll come around pretty quickly. My dad will probably just avoid me and work more, that's what he always does when he gets bad news. I'm more worried about upsetting my mom than anything. I don't want to do anything to stress her out and make her worse."

"I'm sure she'll be happy for you, they all will eventually. I know I am and I know Jazan will be. I promise I won't tell anyone until you are ready."

Sara teared up and gave her a hug which make Amira tense in shock but squeezed her back quickly. "Thank you Amira. I don't know what I would do without you right now."

Amira smiled "You would probably still be cursing your unborn for making you vomit." That make Sara chuckle and they both sat down on the couch. "Come" she said, and opened her omni-tool "Let us make a list of every thing you need to do. It will be alright"


Alright y'all here is the new chapter and I hope you all like it. I know we haven't made it to Andromeda yet, and we won't for a few more chapters atleast. I gotta make sure I get all the angst in ya know? Anyway, as you all know the new trilogy remaster date was announced (yaaayyy) for May. I actually have a Shepard/Thane fic I have had floating around in my head for awhile so I think once the game comes out in May I will be starting that fic in addition to this one. I'm going to be writing that fic along side playing the game. I will be doing the same with the Andromeda game once I finish the trilogy. BUT that won't start for awhile so that's enough rambling for me. Feel free to critic and review, it helps me improve my writing and gets me off my butt to do it faster, or stay up to do it longer as it were. Night all!