Civil Affairs Narutoverse - The World Where Neji Lived - PART II

I married Hizashi Hyuuga on October 27th, 1444 in a traditional ceremony.

Since it wasn't a marriage of the main family, few people who weren't immediate family came but that didn't mean the event wasn't busy. There were still decent sized processions from the main and branch clan who filled most of the seats. The 'smaller' size of the event didn't stop the clan from spending more money than they probably should have either.

I had a beautiful wedding and it was even in the autumn like I had always thought would be nice. My shiromuku had been made of only the finest, pure white fabric - it was so heavy I could barely move in it which forced Hizashi to lead me around for most of the day. It was considered polite in the Hyuuga Clan for me to meet with all guests personally, but my kimono was so heavy Hizashi finally deposit me at a table and brought people to greet me instead.

I was worried the Hyuuga would think I was rude, but three old women – at different times - winked at me and told me that they couldn't stand at their wedding either. Apparently torturing the bride in the world's heaviest shiromuku was a Hyuuga tradition and watching the bride struggle through her wedding day brought them mirth. I never would've thought the stiff clan would have a mischievous side, but they did - it just came out strangely. One of the older women assured me the clan members understood because they had all been there.

My father and mother were there - my mother not bothering to hide her displeasure at the marriage despite the beautiful ceremony. Though she was from a different era, where arranged marriages were common, my parents had been a love match and the idea of me marrying for convenience rather than love had upset her. My family stood out amongst the sea of opalescent eyes and white robes - one of the Hyuuga clan's signature colours. My mother's finest blue kimono looked almost shabby in the crowd of flowing white.

Hizashi's father came, though his sickly mother was notably absent, as did his brother. Hizashi's father had scowled most of the time but I had a feeling it didn't have anything to do with my age or the arrangement. From watching his terse interactions with the twins throughout the celebration I had a feeling he was just upset that Hiashi was not marrying first. I imagine the twins hadn't explained their true intentions to him, so he had drawn the conclusion that this marriage, though strange in current times, was genuine. I supposed that made sense, since Hizashi and Hiashi's father came from a time when child marriages were common among the clans. The Hyuuga and Uchiha clan had been particularly known for marrying children together at around fourteen during the Warring States Era.

I had invited Yuzuha and she had arrived with her parents and brother, Shikaku, in tow who said little but were very polite. I had explained to my friend in detail what had transpired between Hizashi, my father and myself just days after it had happened. While she hadn't been pleased, she had understood my reasoning and had decided to be supportive. Of those in attendance, they were some of the only ones who didn't whisper about the strangeness of the match or what Hizashi's intentions might have been. Perhaps because Yuzuha had filled them in prior to coming or perhaps because they weren't the sorts to gossip. Like my parents the Nara head family stood out, but they didn't seem to mind, and I was grateful for Yuzuha's support even if I was so busy I barely got the chance to speak with her.

When the wedding ended my married life as Lady Kiyoko Hyuuga began and I was ill prepared for it. The Hyuuga Clan, specifically the branch clan, had many rules I had to follow. I had to learn all the faces of the main clan members and I needed to learn them so I didn't talk back to a main member. Despite sharing the same blood and kekkei genkai the main clan members were considered better than the branch so they were to be treated as such. I learned quickly that my clan duties consisted of caring for Hizashi's mother and serving the main branch - though that was more metaphorical then literal. I didn't have to cook, clean or serve tea but they expected me to demonstrate unwavering loyalty and compliance at all times.

Those things were piled on top of all the lessons on etiquette I needed to complete.

I was a quiet person by nature so most of the etiquette was easy to learn - considering most of it was basically staying quiet in various ways depending on the situation. I had a harder time with the fact that I would need to wear traditional clothing while at home. Hizashi had the older women of the branch clan prepare me a wardrobe of yukata and kimono to wear at home but I wasn't used to traditional clothing. I had almost never worn either type of robe before so learning to wear them all the time, when I wasn't at work, had been an adjustment.

Even though I was only the 'Lady' of the Hyuuga Branch Clan I still had servants who kept our house tidy and made our meals so for the most part I had little to do. Hizashi's father had tried to convince him to have me quit my job working for the CAO, but I was planning on giving my stipend to my parents, so I couldn't give it up. I didn't really want to either - I liked my job and I suspected I would try to keep doing it even after the war was over.

Thankfully, Hizashi wasn't easily bullied by his father and insisted that I would be allowed to work as long as I wanted to. Whether this was because he genuinely believed that or because he wanted to make sure our plan to support my family went smoothly, I wasn't entirely sure. Eventually I decided it was a little bit of both.

Hizashi and I slept in the same bed as was custom with their family, but it was a large bed that gave us plenty of space. Even so, the first few weeks we spent together in that bed were sleepless as both of us were weary of touching the other person in our sleep. I had eventually gotten used to the arrangement, my need for consistent sleep winning over my reservations, and once I had started sleeping properly so did Hizashi.

Once or twice we would wake up a little too close for comfort but the contact was innocent so we would move apart like nothing had happened. I learned that Hizashi had a habit of shifting so his head would bury into my back when he was in a particularly deep sleep. What I did in my sleep I didn't know but I imagined I had at least one similar habit.

It didn't take long for Hizashi to become my friend. I learned quickly that he would always be there for me not just because he was my husband but because that was his personality. Once he chose someone or something to be loyal to, he was fiercely so.

The first five years of our marriage passed by platonically enough until one day, when I was nineteen years old, I realized that I loved him.

It was Winter 1449 and I was sitting in bed reading a book, vaguely wondering when Hizashi would finish his meeting, when the realization hit me. It had started slowly…with me wondering why I wanted Hizashi home so badly. Why was I craving his company more than I craved anyone else's? I tried to dismiss it and told myself that it was only because over the years he had become my closest friend. Closer than even Yuzuha.

I was deep in thought, so I was startled when the door to our bedroom opened and Hizashi entered, greeting me absently as he located his sleeping robes. I watched him change over the top of my book, still contemplating the question. Throughout the last year we had started crossing some of our previously set boundaries regarding modesty and changing in front of one another. It was nothing too shameless - we still maintained our underclothes - but after five years we'd finally grown tired of dodging between rooms to change.

Involuntarily, my eyes traced the muscles of his back and against my nature I felt heat rise to my cheeks. I looked back to the pages of my book, though I couldn't focus on what it said, and didn't look up until I felt the bed shift next to me. I glanced over at the now fully clothed Hizashi, who was propping up some pillows so he could also read before bed. When he was satisfied, he reached over to his bedside table and grabbed his most recent book - a book on political strategy from The Warring States era written by Madara Uchiha of all people.

Despite myself, I stared at his face intently, taking in his handsome features and passive expression. He acted like he didn't know I was staring but I was smart enough to know better - he had felt me shift and he knew my eyes were on him. My eyes went up to the mark on his forehead. It had taken him years to show it to me, even after we'd established a solid friendship, but he'd eventually showed me the Caged Bird Seal and explained it to me. It was a horrid thing - it was twisted and ugly no matter how beautiful the curving brushstrokes looked.

Yet even with that cursed mark...he was still handsome.

I knew I didn't have much longer before he called me out on my staring, so I decided to say something.

"How was your day?" I questioned quietly, genuinely interested. I found lately I was always wondering how Hizashi was feeling and how his day was going.

"Good enough." He responded simply, somehow still managing to read. His eyes were still moving back and forth across the page, indicating he wasn't just faking it - I admired his concentration and ability to multitask. I certainly couldn't do that.

"…and your meeting with Hiashi and your father?" I added to my original inquiry. The twins' father was getting more irritable over the last couple years and we were partly to blame. Hizashi had been right and people hadn't gossiped about our marriage for long - the last three years had been peaceful. In fact, there were those in the clan who even seemed to envy the match and whispers had emerged that it was the first step in a plan Hizashi had to take clan leadership from his brother.

This was, of course, ridiculous but I did understand where it came from. From the outside looking in, Hizashi's marriage appeared to be well balanced while his brother, Hiashi, had yet to even choose a bride. Between the two brothers, he was coming across like the stronger leader who was more concerned about the future of the clan.

The war was still ongoing as well which only added to the tension - what would happen if Hiashi died without an heir? Didn't he realize how important his line of succession was?

This question did cause Hizashi to pause and he closed his book, placing it in his lap. He didn't look at me. Instead he just stared straight ahead at the door that led out into our garden with his typical stoney mask in place.

"He once more forbade me to have children and threatened to arrange a marriage for Hiashi. I was, of course, happy to remind him that he'd agreed Hiashi was welcome to take his time in finding a bride." The only indication that Hizashi was upset was the brief twitch to the corner of his mouth as he fought a frown. Hizashi didn't like it when his father tried to bully Hiashi who was, by far, the more soft-hearted of the two.

"Was that all it was about?" I questioned, raising an eyebrow. The meeting had been over two hours long, so it was unlikely that was all they'd discussed.

"No, some trade discussion and general inquiries but he squeezed that topic in whenever he could. Right in front of all the elders too. It was embarrassing." His tone sounded like he was more annoyed than embarrassed. Hizashi's father was terrified that we would have a child before Hiashi, which was outside the regular order of the clan. Traditionally, our child was to serve Hiashi's child...and that meant we could only have that child after Hiashi had his. Our child was literally supposed to be born for the main clan's heir.

It never sat right with me - how both Hizashi and Hiashi had to govern their lives based around tradition. Even down to the timing of their children's births.

When it appeared, I didn't have anything to add he went back to reading.

There wasn't any gradual thought process that led to the realization. It just hit me like a cold bucket of water had been dumped over my head. I loved him.

"Hizashi," I started slowly, and I heard him grumble in acknowledgement, "how do you feel about me?"

I wasn't sure what about the way I'd said it caused him to startle but it happened. I'd expected him to continue reading while I talked, like he always did, but the question made him stop. Once more the book was in his lap except now, he'd turned his head away from me instead of staring straight ahead.

"What do you mean?" He questioned evenly and I tried to lean so I could see his face. I was unsuccessful.

"I just want to know how you feel about me." I admitted simply, shrugging even though I knew he wasn't looking at me. "Because I think I love you."

I heard him choke, which was uncharacteristic for Hizashi who was usually so calm and collected. I felt my heart sink to my stomach as I heard the sound which I had decided was a sound of disgust. What a mess. I wasn't the loving type, but I had to fall in love with someone who wouldn't love me back. I suppose that was what I got for entering a marriage of convenience in the first place - I was never supposed to love. That was the choice I had made.

I finally placed my book on my side table and decided that the conversation was done. We were married so there was no point in me keeping it a secret and I didn't need to be ashamed...but at the same time I didn't want to drag this out. I had my answer.

I was about to say good night and retreat into sleep to lick my wounds when I heard Hizashi say something. It was mumbled, I couldn't make it out, and it wasn't until he repeated it that I paused.

"...shouldn't." He had said something else too but all I could make out was that word. Shouldn't. He'd said it just loud enough for me to hear and he finally turned to look at me, his brows drawn together.

"I love you too...and I shouldn't." He repeated but this time I could make it all out. A scarlet blush bloomed across my face as I stared back at him, shocked.

"What do you mean?" I asked quietly, wondering what he had meant by 'shouldn't'.

He fixed me with a level stare.

"I noticed a year ago, but I told myself that I could never let anyone know. I shouldn't love you...it wasn't right. It wasn't right because of how I'd met you when you were a child and the way this marriage had been forced upon you by this cursed war." He practically spit the word and I knew exactly how he felt, though I hadn't seen the horrors he had. The Third Shinobi World War had shaped our entire lives and taken what little was left of our youth - our entire generation was scarred by it in one way or another.

I understood his reservations.

"Where do we go from here?" I asked after a long pause, still marveling in the fact that he loved me back but realizing I didn't know what to do with that information. I watched as a mocking smile slowly slipped onto his face and he brought a hand up to hold his forehead.

"Where, indeed."

XxX

My marriage quickly took on a different tone after we had confessed our love for one another. Suddenly what had once been a marriage only in name was one in practice. It had started with the innocent variety of intimate touches - hand holding, cheek caresses and gentle hugs before bed.

We kissed for the first time a few weeks after our discussion and Hizashi seemed to decide it was his favourite thing to do. Specifically, it became a hobby of his to steal them in places that were inappropriate - like out in the garden or on the way to the market where we could be spotted by our family.

Thankfully, the only one who ever seemed to catch us was Hiashi and he would send Hizashi a pointed look before leaving. Despite the fact we were married the Hyuuga were strict about how affection could be displayed in public. No one was ever to see a husband and wife do anything other than gently hold one another's hands but Hizashi acted like the rule didn't apply to him.

Within a few months, despite the significant risk involved, we had sex for the first time...and I decided that was my favourite thing. It wasn't as often as I would like, because Hizashi was often away and the risk of me getting pregnant was substantial, but it was still my favourite nonetheless.

I didn't consider myself a passionate person but sex with Hizashi had lit a fire in my soul that could only be expressed through

Despite the ongoing war, in 1450 Lord Third retired and we continued the war under Lord Fourth - Minato Namikaze. I didn't know anything about him, in fact I'd never even seen him in passing, but Hizashi knew him and said he wasn't surprised he'd been chosen. He seemed even a little bit happy that the other man had become Hokage and when he spoke of him, he had clear admiration.

Before I knew it, Hizashi and I had been married eight years.

My father died in the spring of 1452, which left my mother alone and sickly. Something about the heat and the fumes of the village smithy had altered her health significantly over the last few years. Hizashi was able to appeal to his father to allow her to move into our estate in the Hyuuga Branch Clan so that she could be properly cared for.

This ended up being an even better decision than anticipated. Within days she had easily befriended Hizashi's equally sickly mother and the two would often spend their days together, chasing away each other's loneliness and cloud watching on the veranda. I had cared for the twins' mother throughout our marriage, it had been one of my few clan duties, and I was happy to see that she finally had a companion. I was convinced that loneliness only contributed to her poor health though when I had mentioned it to Hizashi's father, suggesting we get her a pet or someone to come sit with her, I had been dismissed.

In autumn of that same year...the leaders of the Hidden Villages involved in the war agreed to a temporary truce to give their people a break for the first time in eight years. All the Kage met and swore on various religious symbols that it would be a time of peace for one month - October 1452. I had been sad that my father had not lived to see the truce, but he had lived a good life, even despite the war and his misgivings about his sons.

The entire world stopped in October - no missions, no heavy work, no mandatory duties besides guarding the village gates. Every day was a new festival or a new activity as trade began to resume at an accelerated pace. It could never make up for all the lost time in one month, but the various traders tried. Hizashi and I spent half of the month just hauled up in our home with Hiashi, celebrating in our own way. Mostly we just indulged in things that we hadn't eaten in eight years.

I naughtily joked that the village was about to see the biggest baby boom it had ever seen considering all the free time that October 1452 had brought the ninja of the village.

Hizashi and I were one of those couples who benefited from the free time. For the first time in our entire marriage Hizashi had time to himself and when it wasn't spent with his brother, it was spent in bed with me. Despite being normally amongst the village's more level-headed the two of us were carried away by the feeling of jubilation that swept the village. We didn't care to think about the things we normally would...like the consequences of frequent and passionate sex.

Come November the war resumed but now that people had experienced a world without it, even briefly, it was more subdued. The war became less of a constant battle. It was more about watching and waiting. Gradually, hidden villages began to withdraw from the war, opting for surrender over continuing the battle much longer. Kumogakure, Kusagakure and Konohagakure were among those who refused to concede.

I denied I was pregnant for a long time after I found out - I could already imagine how angry Hizashi's father would be and I felt guilty. Hizashi would be the one who would have to endure his father's wrath not me and so I put it off, probably longer than I should have. Much longer than I should have considering Hizashi had found out on his own.

I had been a coward and when I had started gaining weight, I had started visibly eating more hoping that the clan would just think I was getting fat. I knew I couldn't hide it for long though – my frame was small, and my weight gain wasn't shaped like normal fat. It was shaped like a baby bump.

I still remember how I had been tidying our bedroom, folding my clothes, and thinking about anything but the fact that I was pregnant. It wasn't the joyous occasion to me that it should have been, and I had spent most of the week wondering over what I should do.

So now, tired of doing that, I was humming to myself and thinking about how nice it would be to make new yukata for our mothers. I wasn't overly skilled at it, but I knew that with enough hard work it would turn out well and they would appreciate it.

I had just started ironing one of Hizashi's yukatas when he burst in through the garden door, eyes fixed on me intently. The veins were bulging around his eyes and I realized he was using the Byakugan. Despite living amongst the clan for over eight years I had rarely seen the clan's kekkei genkai activated - amongst the clan's many rules was one that stated activating it outside of training was rather rude and to be avoided.

I was surprised that Hizashi was using it so openly.

"When were you going to tell me?" He questioned firmly and it took me a long moment to realize what he was referring to.

He was supposed to be in the garden with Hiashi but the two of them must have gotten into a tussle - that wasn't altogether uncommon with the two of them. They would often strike at each other in the most inappropriate places, usually not stopping until their father caught and scolded them. I would never say it out loud, but they reminded me a bit of play-fighting cats.

He must've caught sight of me from outside when his byakugan was activated...he must've seen the baby. I couldn't pretend to understand the byakugan but from what little I did know, they could see chakra networks, and the baby must've had one. Since Hizashi knew where I was it would have stood out to him that there were two chakra networks in our room...and only one person.

"I don't know." I replied levelly, refusing to be intimidated by the tension rolling off him in waves. I realized then that Hiashi had followed his brother into our home and was lurking behind him in the doorframe. His byakugan was deactivated and he was shifting from foot to foot with an unreadable expression on his face, likely considering the fallout this would have for him.

Hizashi refused to speak with me for a week and I refused to give in to his pouting - our household was a noticeably quiet place.

He was scolded by his father for not upholding tradition, as if he had gotten me pregnant on purpose, and he had taken it silently. Hiashi hadn't spoken to either of us for several days though I didn't sense any anger from him. He was a kind man and I suspect he was just buried deep in his own thoughts and mixed emotions. It was a lot to take in for all of us.

Unable to fight his father any longer, now that he wasn't going to father the first child of the next generation, Hiashi had gotten married to a girl from the clan within a few months. I had never met her. I didn't even know her name but Hizashi claimed she was nice enough...just not someone that Hiashi loved.

I knew that there was hope for them. They would probably come to love one another as the years passed like Hizashi and I had done but I would always live with the guilt that my pregnancy had forced Hiashi's hand.