It took me a while to get unflustered. Maybe I overreacted? Probably. I'm not good with these types of things. After all, this is my first relationship. Yup, I'm 100% newbie when it comes to this excluding kissing and that stuff. I took my head out of my pillow and sighed.

Sesshomaru wouldn't randomly pounce on me in such an open area, especially when there was a room right next to us. Was it his beast? With the mating less than a month away and after waiting for three years, I can't really blame him and his beast for getting a little excited. I know for a fact that demons have hormones too. And because of that fact, I can't say that I didn't enjoy it… How should I face this? I gave up on holding my body up and allowed my head to fall back onto the pillow. I asked him to be direct with me, but now I can't even be direct with him. Maybe I asked him more than I thought I did. I sighed one more time before calling it a night. I'd just forget about it in the morning. If I didn't forget by tomorrow morning, then I'd pretend that I did. But what if he decided to bring it up in the morning? There would be no avoiding that…I could always pretend to not hear it, but then things would only get more awkward. I guess I would cross that bridge when I get there. It took me a couple of minutes to fall asleep, but once I did, I remembered that I promised to see Rin when she was in bed. After pulling myself out of bed, I went to Rin's room and stayed with her until she was asleep. When that was done, I was ready to just fall on my bed and go to sleep, but of course that wouldn't happen. I opened the door and was met by Sesshomaru's gaze.

I stared back at him, not knowing what to say. I waited for him to say something. He must have something to say to me since he took the time to visit me.

"It has been brought to my attention that you have been told of the mating."

I kept my stare on him, and said nothing.

"Do not believe that I did not plan to tell you. I was only waiting until the appropriate time to inform you of it."

"When exactly would have been the appropriate time?" I asked.

"The appropriate time would have been when I found a proper way to tell you." He said bluntly.

I stared at him for a while before breaking my gaze and contemplating on the words he said. So… he didn't tell me all this time because, he couldn't think of a way to tell me?

"O-oh."

Don't you feel like an ass. [I]

Not now, listen! [Myself]

I couldn't look at him as I blushed. He's never said anything like that to me before, has he?

"I am taking my leave." He said after a moment of awkward silence.

"Sesshomaru-!"

I watched him as he faced me again. What was I going to say? I mean… What could I say? There was some serious doubt in my mind less than twenty minutes ago. Did I really deserve to say anything right now?

"…Goodnight…"

I chickened out. I wanted to address the situation completely, but those golden orbs stopped me in my tracks. I stared into his eyes and could see that he had not explained himself completely. The day had been long enough already, and to be honest, I felt like a piece of crap. I told him goodnight and climbed into bed once he left. I would sit with him properly and talk it over tomorrow, I guess.

He hadn't told me about the mating because he didn't know how to. How long had he been thinking of how to break the news to me? And then it was in vain because I overheard the guards… How was I supposed to sleep with that on my mind?

The answer to that question was simple. I didn't sleep, AT ALL. I felt like a mess, and knew that I looked like one too. I didn't even want to look at myself. From the weariness I felt in my eyes, I could tell that I had at least one or two bags under my eyes. I didn't want to look. I don't know how Sesshomaru can go for days without rest. It's probably because he's trained his body to function like that.

I went and washed my face with cold water, managing to get the sleep that decided to show up now out of my mind. I took a deep breath and decided that I would lead by example.

I got dressed with a few minutes to spare before having to go get abused by my "teacher." I decided to roam around the manor to see what I could quickly help with. Though I only received tasks like choosing the flowers to be displayed from the maids, I guess I was helpful, even though it was small. The guards didn't even bother with it. I'm guessing that they were afraid of me hurting myself. Since I'm prone to hurting myself, putting a sharp weapon in my hand must seem like sheer stupidity.

I was on my way to the library when I saw silver in the corner of my eye.

"Umm, Sesshomaru?" I called once he came into sight.

He stopped walking and faced me. Before I could say anything, the words flew out of my head, leaving me to gaze into Sesshomaru's eyes. After staring him down, I managed to speak.

"Have a good day." I muttered before walking off like the idiot I am.

'Have a good day?' That's not what I meant to say at all. After distancing myself enough, I felt like slapping myself. I bitched out. I'm usually able to speak my mind to him, but now I can't. The mating is supposed to bring us together, not apart. Everything is just a mess.

"Kazumi-chan?" I heard Rin call

"Oh, Rin, when did you get here?" I asked with a jaded smile.

She stared at me for a moment before taking my hand and leading me away. I followed curiously, wondering what she wanted to show me. We walked out of the manor and into the garden. After much contemplation, we sat under a sakura tree. It was starting to lose its leaves. Winter would be here soon. Rin put her head in my lap as I ran my fingers through her hair.

"I didn't realize how much your hair has grown until now." I told her.

She immediately turned and faced me.

"Is something wrong between you and Lord Sesshomaru?"

I gazed at her as I tried to wrap my head around her question.

"It's just that… both you and Lord Sesshomaru both seem upset and can't speak to each other."

"Rin, why do you think that?"

"Well…"

"Have you been eavesdropping, or were the maids gossiping again?" I sighed as I facepalmed.

"Maybe it was a little bit of both…"

"Rin-"

"Kazumi-san, I'm worried! Do you not like Sesshomaru–sama anymore?"

"Rin-"

"Can't you just like lord Sesshomaru again? You know how nice he is and that he's a wonderful person once you get to know him!"

"Stop thinking that I don't know that… I mean, of course I like Sesshomaru, and I'll never stop liking him."

"Then why do you seem upset with each other?"

"It's just… When you really, really, like someone… it's hard to communicate with each other. It's not that I'm upset with him, I'm more upset with myself."

"Oh."

"You see, when you grow up, things aren't as simple as before." I started as I continued to run my fingers through her hair. "I wish I could just go to him and speak my mind like I usually do, but things aren't as easy this time."

"So you aren't going to leave us again?"

"Of course not! I wouldn't even dream of it unless it was an unintentional nightmare."

"That's a relief."

We sat there for a while before I realized that I was supposed to be at my classes. I tried to leave, but Rin kept me in place.

"I know it's bad to skip, but this is okay." She said. "Sometimes even Kazumi-san needs a break."

"So long as you know that you shouldn't do this." I admitted. I'm sure skipping this one time isn't a big deal. I always sneak around with Rin and not raise an alarm. Why would it change now?

"So, would you say that you love Sesshomaru-sama?" Rin asked.

"Of course," I said with a smile "and nothing's ever going to stop me from loving him."

"…So when I fall in love-"

"You're a hundred years too young to start thinking about that." I interrupted.

I was not expecting Chi to come into my studying, frantically saying that Kazumi was missing. It did not occur to me that her scent had gone faint along with Rin's. However, knowing Chi, she probably hasn't searched decently. If anything, they are in the garden. I see no problem in going to her myself. She has not spoken her mind to me, and it is beginning to agitate me.

After making my way to the garden, my mate's voice drifted into my ears. She was singing. When was the last time she sang? I went closer to her, but did not reveal myself. She sat under a tree with Rin, singing as she ran her fingers through Rin's hair. I listened to the words that came out in a smooth tone from her lips.

Will the rain ever stop, I wonder? For a pretty long time now it's been cold.
Why does the rain choose me? Why does it choose me who has nowhere to escape to?

(Rain- Sid)

Rin requested a song, and that was the first one to come into my mind. Oh how I love Sid. I hadn't sung in a while, now that I think about it. My voice wasn't the best, but it was still surprisingly okay.

"Do you want to hear another one?" I asked.

"No. If I hear it too often, then it won't be special."

"You're really something else. " I sighed.

"Kazumi." I heard Sesshomaru call.

I looked over to his direction as Rin sat up.

"Sesshomaru." I replied.

Rin left as quickly as Sesshomaru came.

I looked at the ground before getting rid of the butterflies in my stomach. I patted the ground next to me, and he sat. I put my head on his shoulder and took a deep breath.

"Is there anything else I should know before the mating?"

"There is a test that you must complete."

"What is it this time?"

"It is a competition between you and other demonesses."

After he explained the rules, I realized that it was basically a complicated game of tag. Sesshomaru will be the seeker trying to catch all of the demonesses. The one that lasts the longest after being spotted by him wins. Of course I told him to go all out, even against me. If I'm going to win, I'm going to win with him actually trying. It's basically me validating that I' the best choice for Sesshomaru, and that validation would be 100% unbiased.

"Well, I'm glad you let me know now." I said as I proceeded to stand up.

He looked at me as I patted the small amounts of dirt off of my kimono.

"I hate to be a bad role model for Rin, but I'll have to skip my lessons for a while."

"What is it you plan to do?"

"I won't stand a chance if I don't start getting ready for it now, especially since you're not going to hold back."

He looked at me inquisitively.

"This will be one of the only chances I will get to shut those demonesses up. I don't want it to be rigged because that's what they're going to expect. Plus, I don't believe in cheating anyway."

I gave him a kiss on the forehead before leaving him. I had a lot of thinking to do. There would be a lot of scenarios to plan out, and a lot of things can and will go wrong, knowing my luck. And knowing Sesshomaru, it won't be easy. This will be the first time I've actually planned things out instead of winging it. But hey, there's a first time for everything, right?

I started to look forward to seeing what she will come up with. She always spoke of how she was intelligent but simply chose not to act it. How would my mate react to those that desperately wanted her position?

A/N: Sorry for such a late update. Stupid school takes up almost my entire life now. Hope you guys enjoyed the larger update. I'll try to get more chapters out in March. Ja mata ne (See you later)! P.S: I'm trying to teach myself Japanese, so let's see how that works out (it probably won't). Tell me if you liked the chapters or what you would like to see, and I will most certainly take it into consideration!
(Insert disclaimer for song used here if it's necessary. IDK, legal stuff :P)