Don Sfondo gazes out over the mess on the road and frowns.

He needs to rethink his approach. The hitman's Guardians appear to be feral.


Reborn is driving back along the road with Colonnello in the passenger seat, rather enjoying the off-roader that Skull hotwired for him. His fedora is on Colonnello's head instead, so Reborn can enjoy the wind blowing through his hair.

The car is not a convertible, Fon actually disintegrated the roof when he leapt off it and into a huddle of cowering Storms. Viper then got involved and summoned creates to eat some people.

Since Colonnello is a bonded Guardian, Lal didn't really have to do anything to defend the Rain position but decided she needed to prove herself anyway. It's rather dangerous to swing a shotgun like a baseball bat but Lal made it work.

Honestly, the other guys kind of gave up at that point. Verde recalled the limo-car and sat himself inside without another word. An upset Skull dived in after and they had the dumbest argument about who had more of a right to run over someone with a car. Colonnello had to go mediate.

Reborn was enjoying the entertainment, but in the back of his head he was still thinking about how he was going to deal with his Sky flames getting out.

Then Fon actually punched his fist through someone's chest and Reborn figured he could just kill all of his problems because that seemed to be working great so far.


Back in Verde's car, currently driving itself, Lal sees Skull speed past in a banged-up 4WD, over taking Reborn in front and honking loudly before speeding off.

"Let's talk," Lal says and lifts a foot over Verde's legs beside her to kick Viper.

The Mist yelps, jolting as tentacles explode from under their clothes and form a cocoon of protection.

Fon, sitting beside Viper and opposite Lal, calmly burns a tentacle. "You tried to sell Reborn."

"Stop! Damn it, Fon," Viper complains, turning themself intangible. "That was Matteo, he found out I was interested in Reborn and wanted to screw me over. He sold the information and got a cushy job as the new Sfondo Mist Guardian."

"You'll spark," Lal says. "But we need to lay down some ground rules first; no selling our people's information, no tracking Reborn – or at least don't let him find our you're doing it, and no-"

"Hold on," Viper interrupts. "Wait, no, I'm not soulmates with your little hoard of sociopaths."

Verde raises an eyebrow at Viper opposite him. "Welcome to hell," he deadpans. "Reborn has fully bonded with Skull and Colonnello, but he does have an initial bond with me. Everyone else has just sparked."

Fon bows his head. "It is good to meet you, Viper." He sits back up and smiles serenely. "I believe we have met before, but can't quite remember when. I recognise your scent."

"So you don't need an introduction then," Lal states. "Another stalker?"

Verde pushes up his glasses. "Interesting. I almost thought this Mist would be normal like Colonnello but it came out in the end."

Viper tsks. "You can't talk. And Colonnello isn't better because he worships Lal and follows her lead. Lal is fucked up enough for both of them."

Lal frowns. "I know what I want and I'm efficient."

Verde shrugs at her and turns back to Viper. "Normal like Skull then. Of course, there's still something wrong with him, but it's relatively better. If he was a normal Cloud, times Fon, Reborn would be dead."

Viper scoffs. "Skull's a freak because you're raising him wrong! Reborn has told him so much bullshit, of course he's messed up, and none of you rein your Sky in."

Fon hums. "No, I'm pretty sure Skull started off like this."

Viper crosses their arms and lectures, "Well Reborn made it worse. Spouting rubbish like how Sun flames are only meant to kill things and it's a perversion to use them to heal, or that one time Reborn helped him steal a tank and said that Colonnello already cleared it with COMSUBIN."

Lal pauses. "Steal a what?"

Viper throws up their hands. "And Reborn's information structure is so bad! I need to go to Skull for the emotional side, then hunt down Colonnello for the future plans he wants to make before finally tracking Verde for the actual details. All of you need to talk like normal people, just sit down and have a damned conversation!"

Verde narrows his eyes, already reaching for his monitoring equipment to recheck his recordings for tampering. "You have a lot of insider information on us."

Viper gestures vaguely. "I've been around."

"Like Verde is 'around'?" Lal sighs. "Are you watching or are you actually inside the house?"

"Does it even matter at this point?" Viper asks.

The other three brush it off. Another weirdo in a hoard of them isn't a cause for concern.


Reborn pulls up against the curb behind Skull's car and gets out with Colonnello before taking his hat back from the blond. The others park behind him soon after and everyone meets on the sidewalk in front of Reborn's house.

Reborn is wondering how he's going to subtly tell them to leave because he's actually super hungry and doesn't want to entertain right now.

Fon gestures between Reborn and Viper. "Go ahead. Might as well spark now."

"What?" Reborn asks. "No. God no."

Lal shrugs. "Viper is already hanging around anyway, it's bound to happen eventually."

Reborn sighs and walks up the house because he's not doing this in broad daylight on a busy street. They pile inside and Reborn starts heading towards the coffee machine but Colonnello swings him around and points him at Viper.

"Get it over with," Colonnello says sympathetically.

Reborn holds out a hand. Viper pokes him with a tentacle. Indigo and orange blaze up from the contact and Reborn gets a strange bubbly feeling in his gut that might be happiness or relief but is probably just horror.

"Damn it," Reborn mutters and tries to shake off the three tentacles that abruptly grabbed his hand.

"That's my line," Viper complains but more tentacles start wrapping around Reborn. "Considering the rest of your Guardians, this is an insult."

"Yeah, well, maybe it's meant to be because you're a fuckwit who got me choked out against a bathroom wall recently."

"My apologies," Fon says automatically.

Reborn waves him off. "Not you, there was another one."

Fon looks betrayed. "You let someone else choke you? In a bathroom?"

"I sure as hell didn't let them do it."


.

A/N: The fight was completely one-sided so I thought it'd be boring for you to read about it. As it turns out, you all pretty much wrote the fight anyway in the comments XD.

And Viper likes watching but Verde is more about control and the voyeuristic tendencies are just one facet of that...if anyone was wondering about their hobbies being too similar.