Baby, It's Cold Outside
NOTES:
sünde = sin/sinner
Finally they had made it to Saturday. The lazy, carefree weekend was the reward they needed after enduring the five previous days of stress. The assault had only been the cherry on top of the traumatic cake. Usually the Saturday sun would wake them from their slumber sometime around ten in the morning. However, Blaine and Kurt had found themselves wide awake at the seven o'clock hour, their minds racing.
They lay in the bed facing one another, stroking each other's bodies affectionately. Blaine's fingers slid gently over the skin of Kurt's arm, causing him to shiver with delight. He returned the gesture by softly massaging Blaine's lips with this thumb. His lover answered with a kiss against his appendage. They both enjoyed the pleasure of the physical contact, but they also knew they were avoiding having a particular conversation. They remained there for hours, until one of them built up enough courage to speak.
"So, are you ready to see him?" the dark haired man broke the silence, his honey-colored irises staring back into his fiance's baby blues. Kurt sighed heavily and combed his fingers through Blaine's messy curls.
"Yes and no. I want to talk to him, but I am dreading seeing his condition."
"I understand. We will go together to support him and each other," Blaine commented.
Kurt was certain he had looked back at the text message from Garret over one hundred times. He almost didn't believe it was possible. The worst case scenarios, like images of him dead in an alley or tied up in a psychopath's basement, had plagued his thoughts since Garret had been absent from class. Now that he had received communication from him, a new anxiety occupied his mind. How would he be able to face him?
Breaking from the cuddling for just a moment, Kurt rolled to his left side and reached over to the side table to grab his phone. When he turned back, Blaine rested his head on his shoulder. Kurt held his phone up so the two of them could see the screen and opened up the text conversation he had had with Garret over the last two days.
Hello, Kurt. I just wanted to tell you that I am alive and I am now safe.
OMG, GARRET! Are you okay? We read about what happened in the news and we have been worried sick. I am so glad I am reading this! Is there anything Blaine and I can do for you?
I need a day to unwind. Can I get back to you?
Of course. We are here for you.*heart*
After Kurt had arrived home from his independent project class on Friday, Garret had continued the conversation,
I would love to see you two. Can you come to where I am staying so we can talk? I need to get something off my chest.
Kurt remembered having a feeling of dread tying knots in his stomach after reading that message. While he was worried about what the implications of that last comment were, he wanted to be as supportive as possible and he sent his answer,
Certainly. Just let me know when and where. Blaine and I will be there.
I am staying with a family member closer to school. Her name is Archie. Can you come over Saturday afternoon, say around 1PM?
Count us in. Just send me the address. Can't wait to see you!
The clock at the top of the phone screen read 10 A.M. which allowed the pair plenty of time to get up, clean themselves and get to Archie's place. The phone had nothing else useful to tell them and Kurt laid it down on his chest for a moment. He and Blaine remained in place for several minutes. They didn't want to leave the safety of each other's warmth.
"I love you so much, Kurt." Blaine's comment was firm and unwavering. He didn't move or turn to face his boyfriend. They both focused on the same spot on the ceiling while continuing to caress one another.
"And I you. More than life itself."
The sunlight filtered through the window to their left, creating designs on the ceiling. Kurt felt Blaine shift his position so he was laying his head on his chest with his arms wrapped around him.
"It sucks that we have to live in fear lately. I wish this wasn't something we had to worry about. But, I am glad we are facing it together. I think that, because we have one another, we will make it."
Kurt stroked Blaine's cheek with the palm of his hand and nodded.
"You couldn't be more right."
Even though they were accustomed to the lightning speed of the normal work week, their usual morning routine continued at a much slower beat. It was something that they didn't realize they needed. It gave them a sense of normalcy amidst their frightening reality. Blaine and Kurt switched off who was in the shower and who was at the table eating a light breakfast. While they were both hungry, neither of them wanted to fill their stomachs with a substantial meal. There was a feeling in their guts that they would be physically affected by the stories they were going to hear from Garret. Once meals were finished and dishes cleaned, Kurt and Blaine tried to distract themselves by watching a movie. After about ten minutes, this proved unsuccessful. They sat in silence, holding each other and staring at the blank screen of the television. No words were exchanged until they felt it was time to prepare for their departure.
They stood next to each other at the door of the apartment about an hour after getting out of bed. This gave them over an hour to make it to their friend's place. The way they looked at each other suggested they were heading into battle, not going to have a conversation with a close friend. Holding each other's hands, they walked over the threshold. Kurt slid the door shut and locked it, testing to make sure it was secure before taking Blaine's hand once more and heading toward the apartment entrance.
A long, agonizing subway right, and a taxi later, the two men found themselves standing side by side in one of the fanciest elevators they had ever seen. Garret's cousin lived in a lavish apartment near Battery Park. The two of them could only dream of being wealthy enough to afford a place like that. Upon entering, a female voice greeted them,
"Please make a floor selection."
Kurt and Blaine were caught slightly off guard as they stared at each other. Blaine snickered as he examined the numbered buttons on the panel before him.
"What floor was it, again?"
"Seventh," Kurt responded. With a firm press of his thumb, the button lit up blue and the voice spoke to them again,
"You have chosen the seventh floor."
They felt the elevator ascending and risked a look at each other. The awkward silence was broken by their laughter. Blaine leaned back against the wall of the tiny room and squinted his eyes, trying to stifle himself. Kurt just covered his mouth with his hand and looked at the floor with the fear that meeting eyes with his lover would cause him to cackle. They were thankful that the robotic voice could bring them the first ounce of hilarity in a long time. After gaining some composure, they noticed that the elevator was slowing down. When the doors finally opened, the robotic voice spoke one last time,
"Seventh floor."
The pair held hands and, as they exited the lift, chuckled once more. The hall appeared more like a five star hotel than an apartment. Cream colored walls were adorned in carefully crafted molding and gold inlay. The dark blue carpet looked brand new, suggesting that the astronomical rent helped with the upkeep of the lavish decor.
The pair stopped in front of apartment 710. They looked into each other's eyes and took a deep breath. Kurt reached for the gold door knocker and tapped it three times. He and Blaine waited patiently in the silence of the hallway until they heard the lock mechanism being disengaged. The door opened to reveal a young woman in her mid thirties staring back with a face that was weighted with concern. Her long wavy dark hair framed her thin face and draped over her shoulders.
"You must be Blaine and Kurt." her voice was calm and soothing. The pair nodded,
"We are. And you are Archie, correct?" Blaine asked. She responded with a nod and pulled the door open, beckoning them into the domicile. Once they were both in the foyer, taking in the layout of the fancy apartment, they heard the door close behind them. After reinforcing the lock, she turned to both of them with open arms.
"Thank you for coming, guys. It means the world to Garret that you wanted to hear him out," she approached Blaine and wrapped her arms around him without hesitation. He accepted the affection and enveloped her petite frame in his own arms. She then turned to Kurt and extended the same welcome. When she backed away, her stunningly bright green eyes seemed a little more relaxed.
"How has he been?" Kurt asked. She tilted her head and shrugged,
"Well, as well as he can be. I think he is just trying to take it a day at a time. He's been resting a lot lately. The doctor said he needed to take it easy."
Blaine and Kurt exchanged glances and Archie noticed a hint of concern,
"We don't want to disturb him if he is sleeping."
She shook her head,
"No need to worry. He was expecting you. While he is in bed, he is awake. I will warn you though, this experience has really taken a toll on him. Don't really expect him to last very long talking about it. He can barely get much out with his therapist. I just request that you give him time and just listen." She scanned both of their faces for recognition. When they both nodded, she felt a pang of relief.
"We can definitely do that. Thank you for taking him in, Archie." She waved him off,
"It was the least I could do. He and I grew up together, so it's great to have him here."
With that, she gestured for them to follow her down the long hallway to the right. On the way they passed an office and bathroom on the right and the kitchen to the left. Blaine and Kurt were absolutely floored by the square footage of the place. Whatever she did for a living, she was successful. They came to the final door on the left and Archie knocked softly. From inside she heard Garret call,
"Come in." his voice did not sound as lively and exuberant as usual. This gave Blaine and Kurt a signal to prepare themselves for how he may look.
As they passed over the threshold, they noticed that the only light seeping in came from the window at the back right corner. The sun crept in and only fractionally stifled the darkness. Garret was sitting up in the bed against the far right wall with his back supported against a pillow. On either side of the bed were two chairs waiting for his friends. The first thing either of them noticed was the dark purple shade of Garret's skin surrounding his left eye. On the right side of his face they saw a line of stitches across his cheek. While the evidence of the abuse he had endured made their stomach's churn, Blaine and Kurt approached him with wide smiles, more overwhelmed by the happiness of seeing him alive.
Garret motioned for them to come over to the bed and held his arms open. He exchanged a gentle hug with both of them. They could only assume it was because he was trying not to aggravate his already injured body. Archie smiled at the affectionate greeting and then headed toward the door, stopping for a moment before she exited,
"I'll be in the living room. Call me if you need anything."
Garret placed his hands on his chest and nodded at her,
"Thank you so much, Archie. It means a lot."
She responded with a slight smile and then disappeared, closing the door behind her.
Garret turned to his friends sitting in the chairs on either side of the bed. Blaine scanned the room as subtly as he could. The mirror to the left of the bed had been draped with a bed sheet. The bedside table was riddled with medication bottles and a glass of water. On the other side of the bed, he could see a heavily used and leather bound notebook of some kind with a pen laying on top of it. He assumed it was a journal. The rest of the room looked typical of what one would find.
"We are really glad you are okay, Garret. When we both read the article and saw your name in it, we nearly fainted. Thank goodness you were found."
Garret sat quietly and listened to his friend speak. His expressions weren't as pronounced as they were accustomed to. The man before them appeared to be hiding behind a mask of fear. Kurt saw him rubbing his hands with nervous energy. His eyes then moved to the skin on his wrists. Dark purple bruises encircled them and Kurt could only guess what that meant. Without wanting to look like he was staring, Kurt made sure to move his gaze to his friend's face.
"How is Jason?" Blaine inquired. Garret's face neither lit up nor soured. He moved his head with a nervous tic,
"He's still in the hospital. The doctor's are optimistic though. They hope to release him next week."
Blaine and Kurt made an effort to be as enthusiastic as possible. They wanted their friend to know that there was hope after this terrible ordeal. They leaned forward and smiled with ear to ear grins.
"That is great, Garret. We are so happy to hear that he is doing better."
They could see the tears glistening in his eyes. Immediately, they reached their hands out and placed them on the side of the bed. After a moment's hesitation, Garret obliged by taking each of their hands and squeezing them tight. His mouth curled into a frown as he brought his chin to his chest. A few heavy breaths allowed for some sobs to exit his lungs. His friends squeezed his hands in return and sat in silence while he let out the emotions that were overflowing.
"Thank you, guys. I couldn't ask for a better pair of friends to talk to. I trust both of you and I know you will take me seriously," he spoke through a weepy voice. A few deep breaths helped him to level out his voice and stifle some of the tears.
"You said there was something you wanted to get off your chest. We are here to listen, Garret. You can tell us anything," Kurt reminded him of what he had mentioned in the text message and Garret nodded in response. Without looking up, he said,
"I want to tell you what I can remember. I need to say it out loud. My therapist says it can help me to accept what happened and move on."
Blaine and Kurt both nodded and squeezed his hands again.
"You tell us whatever you feel comfortable telling us, Garret. We're here for you."
Garret closed his eyes and took several cleansing breaths. Kurt and Blaine could only assume that they were about to hear the worst. They knew this would be hard for their friend to relive it, but they promised to be there to support him all the way through.
"I can't really remember what they looked like. I just remember they were very charismatic and experts at deception. Every time they talked to each other, they spoke German, I do remember that. Jason and I first met them at a cafe nearby our apartment. You know the Blue Anchor?" Garret looked for a glimmer of recognition from the boys and received it in the form of subtle nods. He continued, "Well, their leader had overheard us talking about looking for a new place. He came up to our table and then introduced himself as some successful realtor who wanted to help us out. He had all the credentials, business cards, IDs, the like. We met with him several times the following week."
Kurt and Blaine didn't move an inch, but kept holding onto his hands.
"So at the end of the week, we were sitting in our apartment talking to this guy and suddenly three of his friends walked in uninvited. Jason and I thought that was strange so we asked what they were doing there. That's when the shit hit the fan," his voice caught in his throat as he was approaching the horrific parts of his experience. "Before I knew it, I was already on the floor, with two of them holding me down. They tied both of us up with rope and gagged us with tape," Garret closed his eyes and turned his head, as if to be looking away from the scene in his mind. "They were relentless, guys. The entire time they talked about how they were the superior, Aryan race, and that homosexuality was a sin against the Almighty. We had to be cleansed or some shit. Apparently cleansed to them meant beaten."
Garret shifted his position, but still held onto their hands, "They made me watch as they cut into Jason's chest with a Bowie knife. When they were done with that, they moved on to me," he pulled his hand away from Kurt's and pulled up his sleeve on his right arm. The boys saw more stitches and bruises there. After letting his sleeve down, he grabbed Kurt's hand again and continued, "Any time we refused to do what they said, we received some kind of punishment. I can't tell you how many times we were punched and kicked. All of them were wearing heavy boots too, so we felt each moment of contact. But the worst part came near the end. This was right before they hinted at killing us."
Once again, the boys could see the tears welling up in their friend's eyes. This time, he couldn't hold them back. His slouched over as the sobs exited his lungs. The sentiment had reached both of his friends in a visceral way. They too had tears streaming down their faces. Blaine met eyes with his betrothed. Neither of them could imagine having to experience the other being beaten. It tore them up inside.
"When they felt they had had enough of cutting us and beating us, the leader barked some orders at one of his lackeys in German. That's when the other member turned on the stove and started warming up some metal rod. Jason and I had no idea what was happening. That's when they brought the brand out…"
Kurt's brow furrowed in confusion as he uttered the first word since Garret had begun his account of what happened,
"Brand? As in a hot brand? Like, for cattle?"
Garret let go of both of their hands and pulled down on the collar of his shirt, revealing the skin of his chest. On the left side was a dark red burn mark in the shape of a rectangle. Inside this rectangle was the word sünde*. Blaine took one look at it and closed his eyes in disbelief. Garret searched his friends' faces for understanding. He knew he had reached them when he saw both of them look away. Blaine shook his head, as if trying to remove the image from his mind. Kurt just leaned back in his chair, tears flowing freely from his eyes now. The three of them sat in silence for several minutes. Garret filled most of the time rubbing his hands together nervously. The retelling of his and Jason's ordeal was bringing up the trauma and anxiety.
"I don't know why they left us alive, guys. I just know that…" his voice broke again and he was barely able to finish his sentence, "...I was so scared. I thought we were both going to die, guys. I saw my life flash before my eyes and, what was worse, I knew the same was happening to Jason…" his face scrunched up in anguish as he let out his last words, "...and I couldn't save him."
With that, he completely broke down. Both of his hands covered his face and he sobbed freely in front of both of his friends. Blaine and Kurt stood from their chairs and sat on either side of the bed. They leaned in and wrapped their arms around their friend in solidarity. Garret was both traumatized and relieved. Reliving the ordeal had proven more difficult than he expected, but sharing his fears with his friends was also cathartic. He knew he had confidants in these two men and he was eternally grateful.
"I can't go back there. I can't go back to that apartment." Blaine rubbed the man's back gently and responded,
"You don't have to. You and Jason will find somewhere better. I'm sure of it."
Garret just nodded as the sobs continued. His cheeks were completely soaked in tears at this point in his eyes were red and puffy. The door opened and Archie appeared in the room. She wasn't angry, but the tension in her body suggested that she was uncomfortable with the scene she had walked into. After only a few moments of watching her cousin losing it, she walked up behind Blaine and gently touched his shoulder.
"I think it's time to let him rest, gentlemen."
Kurt and Blaine did not protest. They agreed that he had exerted enough energy for the day and they stepped away from the bed. Garret was so engulfed in his own emotions that he didn't even noticed they had walked away. Archie took their place on the bed and embraced her cousin lovingly. She turned to Kurt and Blaine,
"You may see yourselves out. I'm sorry to be so forward, but I have to insist. Thank you for coming, it means a lot."
Kurt held his hands out in front of him and shook his head,
"No need to apologize. We understand. Thank you for sharing that with us, Garret. We will see you later."
He and Blaine exited the room, headed down the hallway and walked out of the apartment. They remained silent as they approached the elevator and Blaine pressed the button to go down. When the doors finally opened, they entered the elevator, pressed the ground floor button and waited for the small vehicle to begin its descent.
Kurt backed up against the wall and slowly lowered himself to the floor. The strong face he had put on for Garret was now completely gone. Blaine knelt down in front of him and pulled him into a hug as they both wept in each other's arms. Even the robotic voice that they had previously found humorous did not penetrate their anguish. Kurt's hands gripped Blaine's shoulders like vices. He could not even fathom watching someone hurt him. The thought made him sick to his stomach. If someone took Blaine from him, he would undoubtedly lose a piece of himself.
Thankfully no one else had wanted to go to the ground floor and the elevator made it without stopping. Kurt and Blaine were able to compose themselves before the doors opened again. Hand in hand, they exited the building and made their way to the subway station. They didn't want to be anywhere else but with each other. The moments ticked by at an agonizing slow pace as they made their way home.
The door slid open almost violently when the two of them entered their apartment. Kurt entered first, deposited his coat on one of the kitchen chairs and then stood silently in the middle of the apartment. Blaine closed the door behind him and locked it. He too removed his coat and draped it over a chair before approaching Kurt from behind. He lovingly wrapped his arms around his fiance's waist and remained there, unmoving.
The two of them stood in each other's presence saying not a word. Kurt began to nervously bite at the tip of his index finger as he stared off into space. Image of his friend being bound and gagged and then tortured mercilessly kept replaying itself in his mind. He grabbed both sides of his head and groaned in frustration. Blaine released his grip on Kurt's waist and walked around to face him.
"Kurt, it's okay. I'm here."
The swollen redness had not left his eyes as more tears materialized. The streams stained his cheeks as he continued to hold his hands on his temples, trying to force the images out. Blaine placed his hands on top of Kurt's, making him look into his honey-colored orbs.
Within seconds, the two of them had locked lips and were moving forcefully toward the bed. Kurt sucked ravenously at his boyfriend's lips as if it would be his last chance to do it. Blaine returned the gesture with passion, massaging his tongue along the inside of Kurt's mouth. They both cooed with pleasure and Blaine found himself being pushed onto the bed. Kurt straddled him and took his face into his hands smashing his mouth against Blaine's. He could feel the younger one's hands caressing his back. It sent sensations through his body that made him feel more alive than he had in the last two weeks.
Kurt suddenly backed off, stood from the bed and began to unfastened the buttons of his shirt. Blaine had no patience for that and simply ripped his top over his head and tossed it on the floor. He beckoned for his lover to come to him and Kurt did so without hesitation. Kurt's hands worked their way to Blaine's behind and pulled it toward him. Blaine jumped up and wrapped his legs around Kurt's waist, pulling their bodies even closer. They could feel each other's warmth as they once again collapsed onto the bed.
The world around them did not exist at that moment. All that mattered was the passion they were feeling for one another. All they wanted was to be alive. When Kurt felt Blaine's tongue enter his mouth once more, he felt a surge of strength move through him. He knew then that they would both make it, come hell or high water.
