Story of My Life

Much to Kurt's chagrin, a nurse woke him up around 2 A.M. from a deep sleep at the side of Blaine's bed. After several minutes of negotiation, she was able to convince him to go back to his room to get some sleep. It was only under the condition that he could stay with him for the rest of the following day. Sleep came to him inconsistently throughout the night and often consisted of him sitting up suddenly, drenched in sweat. Thankfully, the hospital had agreed to let his dad stay with him, and he had proven an infallible source of comfort.

Now Kurt found himself standing at the desk of Mrs. Hansen, signing his discharge papers. Fortunately, Dr. Nyugen had checked all of his vitals and done a quick neurological test. This consisted mostly of a few memory and dexterity exercises to assure his mental faculties were intact. When he was satisfied with what he saw, he allowed Kurt the right to stay with Blaine as long as he needed, especially given the fact that he may be targeted by his abusers.

A quick glance at the clock told Kurt that he had been sitting in his chair, holding his betrothed's hand for four hours now. This time, he sat near the window with a clear view of the chest tube. Not surprisingly, very little had changed with regard to Blaine's condition. Other than being able to see him better with the sunlight coming through the windows, Kurt noticed no difference in his appearance either. All of the monitors and tubes were still in the same place. Although it was all very scary, he took this as a blessing. At least he had not gotten worse over night.

In the silence of the room, he heard a voice from the door. It was very soft and comforting,

"Kurt?" his eyes flew open as he looked at the new visitor. He breathed a sigh of relief as he was met with the sight of Blaine's mother, Pam, standing in the doorway. She held her arms open and pulled him in closely once he approached her. They squeezed each other's bodies tightly, their human contact being a source of comfort in this frightening time. Kurt looked up and saw Blaine's brother, Cooper, enter immediately behind her. The last time he laid eyes on this man, he was visiting Blaine in Lima. His face exuded feelings of confidence and joy at that time. It was a stark contrast to the feelings he was conveying now.

Pam stroked Kurt's cheek lovingly as tears fell from her eyes,

"I'm so glad he has you, Kurt. I know he wouldn't still be with us if you hadn't been with him."

"You don't know that for sure, Mrs. Anderson,"

"Pam," she interrupted, "You can call me Pam, honey. I have always considered you like a son. "

Kurt was confused by that comment. He said nothing as she approached the bed. Laying a gentle hand on her son's brow, she frowned slightly, "He feels very warm. The doctor told us he had a fever." After a moment of taking in the image of her youngest in the bed, she disappeared into the attached bathroom. With the sounds of her rummaging through drawers in the background, Kurt turned to Cooper who had not moved from the door. He stood frozen and staring at his baby brother.

Kurt was scared to touch him. Would it break him out of his trance or scare him? The sound of Pam's hurried footsteps from the bathroom brought Kurt's attention away from Cooper. She held a rag in her hand and approached the bed again. Gently, and carefully, she began to wipe the sweat from Blaine's face. It was a loving gesture and it was endearing to witness. Kurt turned back to Cooper who was now on the verge of sobbing. When he tried to touch his arm, all he got in response was a hand held in his face to stop him. While it was a bit jarring to his emotions, he could understand that Cooper was not ready for human contact and he backed away.

"I was hoping to be there for my little brother. I wanted to be his hero and to tell him he could be anything he wanted." Cooper's voice was breaking. Kurt just listened. "I can't stand seeing him like this. I feel like I failed him."

Kurt shook his head and, contradicting any requests that Cooper gave him to stay away, he wrapped his arms around Blaine's brother.

"Blaine doesn't think that. I know that for certain. You came as soon as you heard he was in trouble. That's heroic as far as I am concerned."

When he broke from the embrace, Cooper just stared back, appearing defeated. Kurt knew there was nothing else he could say to convince him otherwise. He just had to give him time to convince himself.

Pulling up another chair at the foot of the bed, Kurt fell into it awkwardly and folded his legs into the seat. He hugged himself and rubbed his arms as if trying to avoid any more emotional bombardment by making himself as small as possible. He sat there and watched. He watched Blaine's chest go up and down in the mechanical rhythm of his breathing. He watched his mother continue to lovingly remove the sweat from his face. He watched his brother approach the bed in small increments, stopping each time to lean against the wall. This dance continued for close to an hour. Finally, Kurt had worked up enough courage to break the silence with an uncomfortable question,

"Pam, may I ask where Mr. Anderson is?"

At first, she didn't respond. Hiding behind the chore of caring for her child was her shield against the disquieting inquiry. A heavy sigh and a shake of her head signaled her readiness to answer,

"He's no longer in the picture. He walked out with his lovely mistress months ago. It was about the time Blaine left for New York."

A conversation from several months back came rushing back to Kurt's memory. He recalled Blaine being very distant, almost robotic, as he told Kurt to love his family as much as he could. "You only get one. Love them while you can," he had said. He had never received any kind of explanation for the randomness of that statement, but now he understood why. Kurt could only look away with a deep frown,

"I'm sorry, Pam," he turned to Cooper, "I'm sorry."

Kurt had another question on his mind that he knew would be difficult to hear. He desperately wanted to clear a nagging thought in his mind, but he was also aware of the heightened emotional stress in the room. After a moment's contemplation, he figured it was no worse than seeing Blaine in his current condition,

"Pam, why did you say you consider me like a son?" She turned to face him, her eyes appearing perplexed. "I mean, I don't want to sound ungrateful, because that is not the case. It's just that we rarely spent time together. I didn't think I was really that nice to you during our McKinley days. What makes me deserve such a title?"

Blaine's mother draped the wet rag over the handrail of the bed. Kurt could tell she was either stalling with her answer, or trying to formulate the best response. She began to caress Blaine's splinted hand in her fingers and she let out a heavy sigh,

"I know I am not the best mom. I know I was rarely there for much of his high school accolades," she paused and drew strength from holding her son close, "You can thank his father for that. He never understood him and never tried. I wanted to do good by him, but I also didn't want to anger his father. He had a mighty temper and never really accepted Blaine for his homosexuality. I loved him from afar, but I have been lying to myself. I kept telling myself that this was me giving him space to be himself. But, I missed so much of him," she gently laid her son's hand down on the bed, walked up beside Kurt's chair and crouched down on her haunches, "And that's why I am glad he has you. He talked about you all the time during his McKinley days. I guess you took my place and loved him the way I should have."

He could feel her hand lovingly stroking the side of his face and he tried his hardest to stifle his tears. It was useless. How could he hold it in after hearing something so incredibly profound? His mouth turned down in a frown and his head hurt from the pressure of holding it all in. Suddenly, he just burst into a sob and fell into Pam's arms like she was his own mother. She held him back, like he was her own.

"I'm so sorry, guys. This is my fault. Blaine is hurt because of me. He protected me from these assholes who hurt us," he spoke in sorrowful bursts but took solace in the softness of Pam's touch, "One of them was going to shoot us, and he pushed me out of the way. Before I knew what happened, he was already shot. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry!"

Shortly after the flood of emotion, he felt a docile hand on his back,

"Neither of us are surprised that Blaine did what he did, Kurt. I'm glad he did."

When he leaned back in the chair, trying to regain his composure, he wiped away his tears.

"Do you know what happened? Did anyone tell you the whole story?"

Pam and Cooper shook their heads,

"No, but please, Kurt, don't start reliving it now. We will hear what happened when you and Blaine are ready to talk about it."

"She's right, Kurt," Cooper spoke, "We know someone hurt you both, but the details will come in time. All that matters is that you both get better."

All three of them sat together in a communal embrace, letting the sadness, anger and worry escape in the form of tears. Kurt didn't want to let go. He had experienced so much pain and hate in the last couple of days. He was afraid letting go of this would bring it flooding back.

The door opened and they all broke from the hug to greet whoever had entered. Three nurses began to walk toward the bed. One of them pushed a cart of medical supplies and stopped just before they got to the foot of the bed. Kurt, Pam and Cooper looked confused,

"Can we help you?" Cooper asked.

"We need to do an examination and change his dressings. It's pretty involved and we need as much space as we can get. I'm going to have to ask you all to step outside for about an hour. We will let you know when we are finished."

They realized that, because of the nurse's tone, there was no use in arguing. Kurt stood from the chair and excused himself shortly after giving Cooper his cell number so they could stay in contact. He exited the room and, wiping away the last of his tears, he headed toward the hospital lobby. Burt was soon to arrive with Sam in tow.

When he had passed by the two policemen keeping watch outside Blaine's room, one of them started to follow him. Kurt turned around and insisted that he was just going to the restroom. The police officer took that as an acceptable answer and let Kurt go. He snuck away as quickly as he could, hoping to avoid detection.

As Kurt headed for the exit, his phone beeped from his pocket. He read the incoming message from his dad,

We are about a block away from the hospital. Be there soon.

Kurt waited outside the front entrance, taking in the sounds and smells of the city. He was happy to have a change of scenery. Everything about that ICU room was bringing him close to insanity. Seeing a little girl skipping by happily while holding her father's hand was the stark contrast he needed. His eyes followed her as she continued down the block. When she reached the corner, his eyes focused on something else. He looked up to see the two men he was waiting for walking briskly toward him.

Sam was a few paces ahead of Burt and, once he saw Kurt leaning against the outside wall of the hospital, he broke into a run. Kurt tried to hold it together and he bit his tongue. He welcomed Sam into his arms, and could feel the strength of his embrace as he was enveloped by him.

"Oh my God, Kurt. Your dad told me what happened. I'm so glad you are okay." They both closed their eyes tightly, trying to make the world around them disappear for a moment.

"Thank you for coming, Sam. I actually was hoping you could both join me in the park just across the street."

"Of course. What's going on?" Sam inquired.

"I have a video call with our McKinley friends in about ten minutes. They don't know what happened yet, and I wanted you all to be there."

Sam pulled away from Kurt and nodded. He looked across the street and, amidst a collection of trees, he saw an unoccupied bench. Pointing to it, he turned back to Kurt,

"Let's go sit there."

The three men waited for the gap in traffic and then made their way to the empty bench. Kurt could tell that Sam was eager to hear more about what transpired two days before, but he was being polite and letting Kurt do it as he wished. When the three of them took a seat on the bench, Kurt pulled out his phone and checked the time. He had only a few minutes until it was time to call. He knew that the agents would probably be upset with him for walking out without his security detail, but he didn't care. The three of them were in a public place with several witnesses. Those Nazi bastards were bold, but they weren't idiots.

They sat in silence, watching the world continue around them. Kurt was glad his friend was there, but he was so filled with anxiety that he couldn't bring himself to strike up a normal conversation. Sam could sense it. He wrapped his arm around Kurt's shoulders, but said nothing. Kurt was thankful for the gesture, and the contact. Being in his friend's and his father's presence was a window to what was once normal.

"Here goes nothing," he opened up the FaceTime app and added Artie, Rachel and Mercedes to the call. After pressing send, he swallowed the enormous lump in his throat and felt it go down painfully. His friends picked up within seconds. Seeing all of their faces allowed him to release some of the tension in his shoulders. Sam could feel it.

"Hey, Kurt. It's good to see you, buddy." Artie's comforting voice was eagerly welcomed. He couldn't tell where they all were, but he didn't care. He didn't anticipate this call going for very long, especially since he assumed he would be a puddle of emotion in no time flat.

"Hey, I'm here and so is Santana. She's listening. Kurt, what happened to your face? Where did you get the shiner?" Mercedes inquired. Rachel had said nothing and Kurt could only assume Mercedes had asked what she was thinking.

"Guys, I have some bad news for you." When no one spoke, he took it as a signal to continue, "Artie, I am sure you are familiar with the current events of the Bushwick neighborhood, but I just want to get everyone caught up. There has been a string of hate crimes in the area, mostly targeted at LGBTQI individuals…"

Kurt watched as their faces indicated a sense of contemplation, as if to be taking in the new information carefully. Rachel's eyebrow rose,

"Who was committing these hate crimes? Were they just random and coincidental, or.."

"No. Unfortunately there is a group of Neo-Nazis in the area. And, well, Blaine and I crossed paths with them."

There was a collective gasp. Mercedes covered her mouth in shock. Rachel's jaw nearly hit the floor as she shook her head in denial. Artie's eyes just widened in bewilderment. Burt and Sam remained vigilant, acting as a source of support for Kurt.

"Is Blaine alright?" Artie was the first one to ask. That's when Kurt could feel the new bout of tears stinging his eyes. His heart rate increased as it pounded in his temples. After shaking his head, he explained further,

"No. He was shot," he could have sworn that Rachel was about to drop her phone but he continued, "and right now he is in the ICU. But the good news is the doctors are optimistic. The fact that he made it through the night is a good sign."

Kurt turned to Sam whose eyes were glistening with tears. Even though he was beginning to break down for fear that his best friend was close to death, he remained steadfast. He had to be there for Kurt.

"He's hooked up to so many machines right now, guys. He barely looks like himself. I...I don't know what to do guys I…"

"It's okay, Kurt. Blaine is strong and we all know it. Just give him time and he will come out of it." Artie tried to reassure him. "I want to come visit him as soon as I can."

Kurt shook his head,

"Thank you, Artie, but he can't have visitors until he is out of the ICU. He's in a medically induced coma right now so he doesn't fight the ventilator, so you wouldn't get much out of it anyway. I will keep you all updated on his condition. Just make sure you keep checking your text messages."

"I will be back hopefully next week. I'll definitely be there to see him." Rachel commented, her voice breaking slightly.

"We will be making a special trip to come see him, but not until he is back on his feet. Don't get me wrong, Kurt, we love him, but we don't want to overwhelm him with visitors."

Kurt was hesitant with her comment,

"You mean IF he gets back on his feet." His hopeful demeanor from just seconds before was now falling into a pit of sorrow. Sam pulled him closer to his body as Mercedes spoke,

"WHEN he gets on his feet, Kurt. We all know that he will. I want to hear you say it."

Through the smudge of his tears, he looked at each of his friends. He realized in that moment how much they all truly cared about each other and it hit him not with a sense of sorrow, but of hope. The tears burning his eyes were now tears of gratefulness rather than anguish. Trying to hold it together, he just nodded in response as Sam squeezed his shoulders again. He felt Burt take his free hand as a gesture of support.

"He is going to make it," when he saw Mercedes smile and nod at him, he knew she was happy to see he finally agreed. Suddenly, her smile turned to a frustrated frown,

"Dammit, I am so sorry, Kurt, but my agent is calling me away. Thank you for letting us know about Blaine. He is going to survive, okay?"

"I know. I will keep you updated. Love you."

"Love you." her screen went black as only two faces remained.

"Blaine loves you, Kurt. I hope you know that." Rachel said. She and Artie waited patiently until they saw Kurt show that he agreed. All he really could do was move his head in a minute way. The emotion was starting to drain him of his energy.

"I know. And I love him more than anything. I wish he could hear me talk to him right now."

"He can, Kurt," his father spoke from beside him as he looked at him, "Just because he is drugged, doesn't mean he can't hear you. I could hear you when I had my heart attack. Just remember that."

"Just let us know when Blaine is feeling a bit stronger and he's ready to have visitors. I'm going to come race him down the hall in my chair," Artie joked, getting a chuckle out of Kurt, "There's the smile we all needed to see."

"Just hang in there Kurt. Everything will be okay." Rachel's words of encouragement were more helpful than she could ever know. He placed his fingers to his lips and blew them both a kiss.

"Thank you, guys. I will talk to you soon."

They repeated the gesture and said their goodbyes. When his screen went blank, he let his phone fall into his lap as he leaned forward against his legs. Sam didn't falter in his grip around his friend's shoulders, and followed him into the uncomfortable position. His father leaned in and pulled all three of them into a protective embrace. Sam and Burt held it together as they allowed Kurt to sob uncontrollably in their arms. Kurt was becoming frustrated with himself. Only a short conversation with his McKinley friends caused him to crumble. If he wanted to be there for Blaine, he had to get his shit together.

Sam knelt in front of him, taking his face in his hands.

"I am so scared I am going to lose him, guys. I can't even fathom how much that would destroy me…" he continued to sob. Sam's brow was knitted in disagreement,

"You're NOT going to lose him. You said it yourself. The fact that he survived the night is a good sign. Blaine is telling us that he is not going anywhere."

Kurt felt his father rubbing circles soothingly on his back,

"You just have to be patient, Kurt. Not just with the healing process, but with yourself. This isn't going to get better overnight, but it IS going to get better."

The more Sam and Burt talked to him, the more he was able to collect his thoughts. They were right. Blaine was the strongest person he knew. He looked up to him in his McKinley days. Blaine was so confident and sure of himself that Kurt strove to be like him. Why would that have suddenly changed? Blaine had not changed. Kurt knew that he could depend on his soulmate to come out of this alive.

"I am going to be there for both of you. I will be here at the hospital every day for you. And you can bet your ass that I will help him with his PT, and be there to hug him when he has his panic attacks. You're not in this alone, Kurt. You have me, you have your dad and you have our McKinley friends. We will help you through this, okay?"

The tender moment was interrupted by a text notification from Kurt's phone. He glanced at it quickly to see that Cooper was trying to get a hold of him. He read the text aloud to Sam and his father,

There are two agents here. They want to talk to you.

When he closed his phone down, Sam lifted Kurt's chin to look him in the eye,

"Do you want me to be there with you?"

Kurt did not hesitate. He nodded in agreement and stood from the bench. Burt told them that he was going to sit outside for a while and get some fresh air. He wanted to give Kurt a chance to do something on his own and not feel like he was hovering.

Sam wrapped his arm around Kurt's waist and, giving his friend the look of confidence that he needed, they both headed into the hospital. Kurt was glad he had Sam. The agents would surely want to talk to him about what happened. He wasn't sure how much this conversation was going to break him.