The wrecking scent of iron was the first thing that assaulted me. As I moved to cover my nose, I noticed the blood that stained my fingers, and the sharp pain that came from my left arm. When I looked beyond my trembling fingers, I found four bodies. Their stillness was about to send me into cardiac arrest, but their silent groans assured me that Beast didn't actually kill them, though she came damn well near to doing that. I-I didn't think… she was serious. I could see bones poking through skin, bruises forming on faces, out of joint limbs hanging from bodies, blood running down open wounds.

I felt bile crawling up my throat as my mind desperately tried to force me to avert my gaze.

I couldn't.

I took in everything, forcing my eyes to etch every detail into my memory and preventing my brain from shutting down and letting my conscious go black. I refused to faint. I turned and walked away. It was all I could do. Doing anything else would have left me as a vulnerable mess. I had let beast go, believing that it would relieve me of my stress and give me a way to vent my frustration. Unfortunately, I vented more anger than I did stress. Just looking at the scene disgusted me. The disappointing truth is that It didn't make things better. Yes, Beast's rage was gone, but I would have preferred to deal with the acid-reflux like sting of Beast's wrath than to unleash it on others like that. They'd been beaten to a bloody pulp, and I'm sure it would have been worse if Sesshomaru hadn't shown up.

When I couldn't stare at the scene any longer, I turned away and started on my way back to the manor. I could feel the heat of eyes staring at me as I embarked on my return alone. I didn't get a moment of reprieve, even when inside the manor's gates. Inquisitive eyes burned through me and my blood smudged clothes. Feeling that the comfort of my bed was not far away, my tears started to burn my eyes as my cheeks burned as bright as the blood seeping from the wound I was trying to hold shut. As I borderline jogged through halls to get to my room, I ignored everyone, but couldn't block out the root of the burdens I've had for the past two or three days. I heard her insults, I heard her taunts, and I was sick of it. My filter had already been blasted down by the gruesome scene ingrained in my mind and her remarks didn't make anything better. I've been through too much, and decided that too much had been destroyed to salvage. I stopped my fast paced steps as the chaos within my warring mind set off a nuke on the little strain of restraint that I had. I made it this far with so few silvers, but everything collapsed on me in an instant.

"Say it again, this time to my face." I demanded as I approached her, unable to control the jolts of energy that ran through my body, making it impossible to keep myself still.

I watched her step away with unwavering eyes.

"I've dealt with the shit that comes from your mouth for too long." I started with a tearful smile. "It's about time I slaughter the pig and feed the bacon to the hungry."

The joy that ran through my heart when I felt her hand run across my cheek, when I saw those eyes that were concerned with no one but the person they belonged to, filled me with euphoria as I soon found that those eyes were gone. I tilted my head down to see the frame I had slapped to the ground. I wouldn't let her understand what just happened or what was going to happen. I watched as blood soaked fingers caked to her throat, forcing her up before slamming her head through a wall. I listened to her struggled breaths as she tried to clear her head of pain and her lungs of dust and watched with listless eyes as she slowed her movements. When her breathing evened out, I pulled her out of the wall, and held her above the ground. I watched without a word as she scratched at my hands, fighting for breath as my fingers tightened to squeeze the life out of her. I wanted to hear a neck break and watch a head roll loosely once the life that supports it is siphoned away. I wanted to shut her mouth, once and for all. I wouldn't let her hurt me again. If she was too stupid to understand words, I would let her understand the pain she was causing me. I would let her see the madness that was enveloping my mind. I would let her feel death's cold hand as it hushes her very being. I will let her understand what rampaged my heart.

I watched her hands stop their pathetic struggle as her breathing became faint, letting her ears get accustomed to how silence sounded. Unfortunately, the image of the carnage I left behind in the market prompted me to not sully my hands further. I threw her away, breaking a table in the process. I walked toward her, not feeling a sliver of remorse. I watched her as she struggled to get to her feet before turning my back to her.

"Is that all you have?" she asked, desperately gagging for air.

I turned around with calmness that scared even me, though I wouldn't realize it until the moment had passed. I walked back to the cowering sewer rat and started to wrap both of my hands around that furry neck of hers when I was pulled away. Before I knew it, everything within me exploded. I was screaming, reaching for her, even if I could just grab her hair, I would have taken it and ripped it out of that atrocious skull of hers, but Sesshomaru defended her again. He wrapped his arm around my waist and held me back as I lost control of everything. I would rip that head off of those crude shoulders. I don't care about the mental toll it would have later. It's a kill or be killed world, and I would rather destroy myself than allow for this bitch to do it for me. I was less than a foot away from getting my hands on her when he pulled me farther back. I was more than annoyed with his constant interfering and made no hesitation to turn against him when I freed myself from his grip. I pushed him away from me and watched his eyes were tell me stop my rampage, and return to his embrace. I was barely able to refrain from spitting in his face like he had just done to me. I don't know where he's been living for the entirety of his life, but it definitely wasn't on this Earth.

"I'll calm down when you stop playing with other women." I spat.

"If you cannot satisfy your mate, then he deserves a better one."

"Unless you want me to rip out your tongue and shove it down your throat," I started as my gaze whipped back in her direction, dangerously narrowed, "you should shut your fucking mouth." I advised. "And if that doesn't manage to get you to shut that asshole of yours, I"ll break every bone in your body so that your screams will destroy your throat, and then I'll rip out your bloody vocal chords!"

I started to step toward her only to have Sesshomaru pull my wounded arm and hold it behind my back. He pinned me to the ground when he saw that putting stress to my injury wasn't enough to deter footsteps.

I let the words roar from my mouth. "I'LL KILL HER!"

"You will do no such thing."

"Oh? I forgot about being diplomatic." I mocked. "I'll be sure to be more than kind to our next guest."

He held my face before asking, "Who hit you?"

"Do you really have to ask?" I snapped. "Why don't you try to find that out for yourself?"

"Kazumi." He called.

I ignored him as my attention focused on the bitch that was cowering in a corner. "I wouldn't mind putting my foot in her rib cage. If I'm lucky enough, I'll kick that festering of hers out of her body. But I much prefer the thought of ripping out her throat. It's the most vulnerable place on the body. It'll be much easier to aim there than to aim for the heart. It must be a lot more painful too, suffocating on her own blood or drowning in it, it all depends on which happens first. I wouldn't mind carving her heart out after her lungs shrivel to nothing or bloat with blood!"

I pushed Sesshomaru off, and went for the despicable excuse for a woman again. Though he pulled me away again, I sent my glare through her soul like a bullet and let my growl flood out of the halls and into the open air outside. Like the rat she is, she scurried out of the way of my furry, hoping to keep her life. I would have grabbed her by the tail and made her pay for the pain she caused me, but I was too busy fighting off Sesshomaru. He had my arms locked behind me as I tried to pull myself away from him. My heels dug into the ground as I twisted wherever I could, ready to dislocate my arms, to find some way to slip out of his grasp, but he pulled me back into his chest and wrapped his arms around my waist.

"I should have strangled her when I had the chance!" I screamed at myself as I fought to tear away from him.

"You do not mean what you say." He said, watching me become more frustrated as he brought me even closer to his person.

"How would you know?!" I snarled as I fought even harder. "Let me go, let me go and find out if I'm mean it or not!"

"Do not chase her."

"Why shouldn't I? Why shouldn't I mangle her, tear her to shreds?!" I yelled, destroying my voice.

"You will regret it."

"Regret it? I've made too many mistakes to let the possibility of regretting something stop me now." I said with a chuckle as I gave one last pull in hope of escape.

"Do not let your anger cloud your mind."

"In this context, I'd prefer an active, angered mind than an inactive, leveled one. An angered mind wouldn't let anyone insult them."

"Then focus your anger on me." He said as he sat me down and attempted to look at my arm.

I tore myself out of his hands, refusing to allow those deceivingly soft hands to touch me further. However, he pulled me back toward him, smacking me into his chest before I fell into his lap. He locked me in place and interlocked his fingers with mine as he held out my left arm to examine where I was wounded. His heat on my back, the touch of his fingers on mine, his silent embrace, I fell quiet. For a fleeting moment, I believed that everything was fine. Unfortunately, I wouldn't let myself be naïve. I pulled away from him again with a calmer face and a stiffening heart.

I stood up and looked away before responding. "That's a selfish thing for you to say."

I tried to leave him there, to be alone, but he followed me like a lost puppy. Nothing was said as he walked behind me. At least he was smart enough to give me some space. The halls were free of others. My loss of temper must have scared them away. Honestly, I was starting to scare myself with all the stunts I was pulling off. And back there… I've never been that angry in my life. In that moment, I saw nothing wrong with killing her, and still didn't. Without a doubt, I would have killed her if Sesshomaru hadn't stepped in, and I was having trouble opposing the action. The moment was too intense and leaking into the after moments, and I was far spent. However, if I came across her again, I would ignore my weariness and act again, and I wouldn't fight it. She deserved to die, that homewrecker.

I had to shake the thoughts out of my head. I am not God, and have no right to harm anyone. With thoughts like those, hell would break loose on the little sanity I had. Who knows what I would have done if I actually did kill her? Though I hate to admit it, Sesshomaru was right. The heat of the moment changed my thoughts and values. The fact that he was right made me want to steer clear of him even more.

When I finally got to my room, I turned to close the door in his face, but couldn't find the strength to shut him out. I spent it all on that woman, and was tired of fighting, but Beast told me to give him the cold shoulder, and I would at least try, even in my weariness. I slowly closed the door, stopping for a minute to look into his eyes. I love those unforgiving eyes, the eyes that bore through me in hope of finding who to attack. He opened the door slightly and pulled me back into his embrace and away from the room, making it even harder for me to separate myself from him. I couldn't stop my arms from holding onto him before awkwardly letting go. I left him and closed the door behind me. I stood by the door, unwilling to leave Sesshomaru behind it. I stared at his silhouette, as tears came back to my eyes and rolled down my cheeks. I forced myself away from the door to sit at my kotatsu. My tears stained the wood before I curled over and sobbed into my hands. The day started off so well, and went to shit so fast.

When I ran out of tears to cry, I realized that my arm had crusted over, and needed attention. I sat at the kotatsu, holding the wound with rehydrated blood smeared on my hands. I didn't want to get up. My legs were tired, my arms: sore; my heart threatened to burst, on the brink of failure. I fought against the thoughts that told me to stay in the confines of my room and shakily stood up. I walked to my door silently and paused before opening the door. I knew he was still out there, waiting for me to return to his hold. It was tempting beyond my belief, but the call within me to stand independently kept me away. I opened my door and found myself looking into his eyes again. His hand reached out and held my blood stained cheeks. I averted my gaze and led his worried hand away, knowing that I'd break if I didn't. He followed me to the infirmary at a much closer distance than before. He knew I was wavering, and was hoping to break my resolve. His hand pecked at mine, holding it for moments at a time, trying to lure me back to him. He made sure I was okay with every step closer he took. If the infirmary was ten seconds farther away than it was, I would have given in to his questioning hand.

I said nothing as I stepped into the white room. When the medic saw me, she gave no question. She had me bathed and dressed in clean clothes before working on my arm. Sesshomaru stood against the wall, waiting for me, refusing to let me out of his sight if he could. I took the chance of peeking at him and saw him staring at me. My gaze fell off of him before I turned back to my arm. I don't know what happened, but something left around an inch deep cut running down my arm. It clotted shut on its own, but my bath washed the crusted blood out of the abrasion along with the blood that was caked in my fingers and dried on my skin. As the aged woman tried to disinfect my arm, I had to keep myself from fleeing twice. Unfortunately, the disinfectant of this day wasn't as kind as the one back in Sweet Ol' Georgia. Everything's sweeter in Georgia, a sweetness I miss dearly. It felt like she was cleaning the cut with battery acid. I really wanted to smack whatever she was using out of her hands. Though it would be as comical, I decided to bear the burn, facing the ground with closed eyes and tightened fists. When she finally finished, she calmed my blazing skin with an herb rub. The medic was wrapping my arm with a bandaged she had soaked in cool water when the cracks around her lips moved, letting a voice like distilled amber seep out of her mouth.

She asked for Sesshomaru to step out of the room for a moment to speak with me privately. I turned my head to the side, acknowledging him, and waiting on him to make his decision. He could contest; with a single word, he could deny her request and not be questioned for it. I could feel his gaze on my form for a minute before seeing him exit.

A second of silence passed before she spoke. "Child, you must care for yourself."

I stared at the woman. Her nimble fingers finished tying the bandage around my arm, and then moved to my stomach, checking for something only she would understand.

"I wish it was that easy." I sighed, wondering if the woman was looking for an ulcer.

I stared at the woman as she stood and turned to shuffle through a chest.

"You have been stressed beyond that which is healthy, child." She said from her chest.

"I wish I could argue." I commented.

"Having another woman in your domain must be frustrating. I was surprised that you did not kill her in your last encounter."

I said nothing.

"I knew you would eventually lose control, but I never imagined such an eruption of ferocity. The growls you gave sent those within the castle fleeing for safety, and your aura was like lightning. Still, you must be careful. You may not only hurt yourself, but your child as well." She said.

I looked away. Blood wasn't the only thing I smelled in the market. I scared Rin. I'm sure she didn't even recognize me. I didn't want to hurt her. I was fine with hurting myself, but felt guilty for putting Rin through that. I couldn't stand the sight of it; I can't imagine how Rin felt.

The old woman must have seen my downcast mood toward the subject.

"Do not blame yourself. You had no knowledge of the harm it would cause."

"I didn't think it would turn out like this."

The woman sat down again, prepared some more medicine, and packed the powder into paper she folded into triangles. "This should help with your blood loss. Be sure to drink plenty of water."

I took the packet and placed it inside of my kimono.

"This one is for emergencies. Should you stumble upon worse trauma then what you faced today, ingest this. It should keep you stable for an hour. Seek the closest aid if you should ever have to use this."

I took that packet and placed it in the concealed pocket within my kimono sleeve.

"You must take better care of yourself, my lady. I am sure you do not want to put your children's health in danger."

"Children?" I asked.

"Yes. There will be two."

I stared at her. "What are you talking about? Rin is the only child in the manor."

She stared at me. "I speak of your pregnancy, not of young Rin."

"What?"

"My lady, you are with child."

I sat there, trying to figure out how I missed such a huge topic change.

"Did I not inform you? Perhaps I imagined myself saying it." the woman chuckled.

"You're kidding!"

"Keep your voice down, my child."

"I… I wasn't expecting…"

"Could it be that it is not his?"

I glared at the woman as her smile widened.

"There is no need to give such a murderous look. I only jest."

"I would appreciate it if you kept your jokes away from that topic."

"I understand."

"… Two?" I asked.

"Two. You live up to the legend. You are already carrying heirs."

"Jesus is real."

"Who?"

"Would you like to hear about our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ?" I asked the woman with a smile.

"Perhaps another time, for now, you should rest." The medic laughed.

I bowed to her, truly elated at the news. Twins! That didn't take long at all. When I left the room, my elation vanished. I stared at Sesshomaru as I froze in place. I couldn't tell him about the news; I need to find a better time to tell him. With the way things had gone today, I was scared that something else might happen and destroy the joy that was hiding inside of my heart. I walked to the library, hoping to get my mind away from everything.

I didn't write a single word while I was there. I went to the library and took the time to set everything up for at least a little editing, but ended up passing out as soon as I sat down. When I woke up, the diminishing light of the sunset told me that more than a couple of minutes passed while I was out cold. I let out a yawn as my mind started to wake up. I remained seated for a while before Rin popped into my mind. I packed my untouched work and went to check on her. I don't know how she will react to me, but I would have to face it eventually. It wasn't as though she's never seen someone get beaten to a bloody pulp; it was that she's never seen ME beat someone to a bloody pulp. Well, the earlier I confront it, the earlier the conflict is resolved, if there is a conflict. I would face this one head on, and maybe build up enough courage to do the same with Sesshomaru.

I entered her room, preparing for the worst, but was met by no one. I closed her door and was about to try again when, thankfully, a maid that was passing by informed me of Rin's departure to Edo soon after she returned at noontime. Maybe it was for the best that she stayed with Kaede for a while. She won't be exposed to any more home wrecking. Violence, I'm not so sure. But I have to wonder why she chose to leave. It must have been planned; otherwise, the transition wouldn't have been so smooth. I would settle for that explanation. This way, it doesn't seem like she left in effort to avoid me.

I called it a night after drinking some water. Deciding that my pregnancy is something that should be handled with care; I won't give Sesshomaru the cold shoulder. He's the father after all. I'll tell him the news tomorrow and pray for the best. Tomorrow will be a new day. So long as I keep my cool everything will be fine. With what happened today, I'm sure that girl will be gone by tomorrow afternoon and everything will be back to normal.