I eventually woke up. It took me a while, but I managed to break the seal of sleep that formed around my eyes and took in the light that came through the window. The air was as cold as the bitter winds that nipped at my face in that snow covered field last winter. My body ached while my face radiated heat. Each breath I took brought a gust of cool air into my lungs, preventing them from overheating and burning out. I could tell that my internal temperature was above 108. The minutes of blank staring at ocean waves and dancing bears before realizing I was hallucinating hinted at a higher fever. Those three degrees was all it took to scatter my brain into a slow reacting, oblivious mess. Before I know it, my bed was an island in the middle of a vast sea. My mind ran wild with aquatic life as I sat in bed. I would have stared at the moving pictures of my imagination for a while longer if a damp cloth didn't shroud my sight. I paid no mind to its sudden appearance as I tried to look through it.

I closed my eyes as the crust that had accumulated in the cracks of my eyelids and of the sweat I perspired were wiped away.

"Yo." I attempted to say, only to have a cracked and dry voice slip out of my throat.

No one replied.

"Sesshomaru, let me see you." I said as I turned to face were the subtle breathing I trained my ears to detect was.

After a moment's hesitation, "You are not well." He replied after removing the cloth.

"Not at all." I chuckled.

"I instructed you to decline gifts presented to you." He reminded me, hinting to the burlap bag that he had more than likely been thrown away.

"They were children. I didn't think someone would hide such ill intentions behind those innocent smiles." I explained. "That's the work of a coward."

I closed my eyes, feeling them warm up again. I held my hand out and felt him interlock his fingers with mine. His other hand slid behind my back and helped me sit up. The cold seeped into my skin, cooling my bones. No amount of shivering would warm my crying body, but I let myself lean on Sesshomaru regardless. He sat next to me so I could rest myself on him entirely.

"How long was I asleep?" I asked.

"Three days."

That was one potent poison.

"How long have you been by my side?"

"That is not important."

"Baka." I sighed. "You can't neglect your lands."

"I cannot neglect my mate." He replied without moving.

"Sesshomaru, I love you, you know that. You love me, I know that. I'll be fine on my own for a little bit. You have work to do."

He moved his hands to embrace me, not wanting to budge from his spot next to me

"I'll be fine. I'm just going to get some more sleep. There's nothing entertaining in watching me sleep."

"You know not of your allure as you sleep."

"You sound like a well versed stalker." I replied as I descended back to my position on the bed.

His hand shifted under my bangs as I took a deep breath. I closed my eyes, trying to cool those pesky eyelids of mine. Before I opened my eyes again to see if Sesshomaru would leave or not, I could feel his cooler lips caress mine before embracing them completely. He was the iced lemonade I craved for on a hot summer's afternoon. I wanted him to sap away the awkward heat of my fever. He was fever on his own. Though he cooled my mind as I focused solely on him, he warmed my blood. The heat was almost unbearable. I was some type of drunk that Vodka wished to induce on people. My eyes watered as my body burned. If I wasn't so weak, I would have held him where he was, but I was blinded by my fever. I could barely see past the mirages that speckled my sight. I let my hand lazily hold the sleeve of his kimono as he parted from me. It is a shame how the moment I get better, the moment I can think clearly, I won't be anywhere near as clingy. I'm not one to trust easily, especially after feeling betrayed. I doubt anyone is. I would think too hard. I let go of his sleeve before letting my drooping eyes shut and my tired body and mind rest. I was already showing signs now.

By the time I woke up again, white still shrouded my vision. Though my mind was on fire, I could tell that the body before me wasn't Sesshomaru. I've held him too many times to confuse him with his mother. I pushed myself up steadily, trying my hardest to not give out and fall back to my bed pitifully. Once I was upright, I pulled my sheets off of my body. By now, I'd gotten Inukimi's full attention.

"You are quite the persistent one." She said as she knelt to help me out of the bed.

"I am sure you did not come to be entertained by maids." I replied with as much of a smile as I could muster. Even the muscles in my face were weary.

"I was content with watching over you as you slept." She admitted.

I couldn't help questioning if the watching people sleep thing was hereditary or an instinct. Could it be both?

"Do you feel well enough to move?" she asked me.

"I will be fine." I replied as I supported myself.

She sighed. "How could he allow for you to be poisoned?"

"I hope you did not scold him. I brought this upon myself." I replied.

Inukimi stared at me as I started to leave the room. I was rather slow, but it took effort to walk without looking weak.

"I did not come here to scold him for this incident." She stated as she followed me.

"Would you like to go for a walk? This room does not provide great scenery." I responded, feeling the atmosphere become stand-offish.

We were silent until we reached the garden. Unfortunately, I had expended all of the energy in my reserves. We sat on a stone bench located under one of the various trees before further discussing the topic.

"What exactly did he do that angered you so much that the wind beckoned my bones to hurry here?" she asked.

I looked at the garden, taking in the change in perspective from our seats.

"Kazumi, I am not known for my patience." She said with ironic patience.

"There was an uninvited guest," I answered, "and I was less than pleased by her actions during her stay."

"And who was this guest?"

"She never introduced herself."

"How rude of her. What did she look like?"

"I would rather forget."

"Could it be that you are protecting her?"

"If you want details, ask Sesshomaru." I replied, feeling rather vacant of thought. "She is out of my life now, and that is all I care for."

"Oh what I would have given to be there when you confronted her. I am sure you were not far from ripping her to shreds." She chuckled solemnly.

"InuKimi, was this how you felt, so devoid and listless?" I asked as I finally faced her.

"I was wondering when you would ask." She admitted. I could see her shoulders drop as it was her turn to turn her gaze away from me. "It was so long ago, yet I cannot lie and say that I do not remember it."

I was silent.

"He betrayed me, and that should speak for itself. Then he neglected his duties for a mere woman. Perhaps I was jealous that he did not do such a thing for me, perhaps I was angered that he would prefer a human to me, it was more than likely both. I never could forgive him, and I still doubt if I can to this day. Dying for his illegitimate son and mistress, his death could have easily been avoided had he remained faithful." She was silent as her gaze drifted to her hands. "He must be turning in his grave. He and I were something special. Perhaps if we waited a while longer, if my parents allowed him to continue the chase instead of tying him to me, he would have indulged in his fruit of labor, or spared me from the torture that was to come."

"Then it was arranged."

"Much more than I would have liked. He was not the only one who became bored once the chase ended so abruptly. They hurried to solidify things once they saw there was a spark of interest, and suffocated the small fire with their forceful breaths."

"I see."

"I do not hate the man, I simply abhor his decisions and the woman that stole what was mine and what belonged to my son."

"It is hard loving Inu males, and I realize that now."

"Each has his own fault, and I cannot say that we female Inus are much different." She explained. "It is obvious my son has hurt you, and I apologize on behalf of him. However, I must ask that you bear with him. He lacked a male figure to teach him how to care for women. I must also admit that he did not learn much from his mother either."

"There is no need to apologize." I said as I looked toward the blossoms of spring on the tree's stub covered branches. "I must confess that his actions hurt me; I am skeptical of returning to his embrace so eagerly. I have had more than enough loss in my life. However, he is not one I wish to add to that list."

I could see her gaze from the corner of my eye. "I am sure he has clung to you like a newborn to their mother."

I gave no reply as my thoughts stirred in my head and those spring blossoms melted away into the blue sky as islands on the sea. For the briefest moment, my eyes hazed as my mind blanked. I stared off over the blur of color, empty minded. After blinking a few times, I found that I'd taken respite on Inukimi's shoulder. My thoughts came back to me as I ignored the hallucinations that plagued my mind. She watched over me carefully as I removed myself from her.

"Are you certain that you do not need rest?"

"There is not much I can dream of before my sleep becomes nightmarish." I explained as I took in a breath of air to cool my lungs.

"You should not exert yourself."

"Did Sesshomaru tell you the news?" I asked, diverting the attention of the conversation. "Do you know I am pregnant?"

"I know of it." She replied, allowing me to change topics.

"It was rather quick. My assumption was that a few more months would pass at the very least." I said as I placed my hands on my lap. "Very quick indeed."

"Where you willing to leave Sesshomaru if things had gone wrong?" She asked, not caring to sugar coat her thoughts.

For the first time for the duration of our conversation, we made eye contact. Neither of us deterring from the other.

"Before mating, before agreeing to be his, I told him I would not tolerate him having another mate. If the situation had been worse than it was, I would not be here. I was ready to abandon this, ready to disappear, the moment I thought he went against his word."

"A manhunt would have been ordered." She stated.

"I may not have many contacts here, but I do know the extent of his power."

"The world is no haven."

"I know as much from experience, and I do not plan on letting it take advantage of me."

She stared at me before speaking. "I see you have grown quite a bit since we last spoke."

"Did I have a choice?"

"I am sure it will pass once things have settled. You are much more fun to tease when you are not as serious."

I said nothing as I turned my gaze away from her and toward the white ship rushing toward me.

"It seems we are out of time." I stated.

"That we are."

"Please visit again. It was nice to speak with you."

"That is a phrase my ears will never become accustomed to."

I smiled at the distant islands in the sky before telling Inukimi goodbye. There was a moment of silence as I was transferred from my seat next to Inukimi to Sesshomaru's arms. I all about collapsed in his arms as elephants started to dance in the sky while the islands disappeared.

We were both quiet as he carried me back to our room. I hadn't seen it in some time. He watched as I made no objections to him putting me in bed.

"You said you would rest." He said as he sat by my side, holding onto my hand.

"I did rest, but then I woke up." I explained as I looked into his eyes. "I had a guest to entertain."

They were sealed off. He'd cemented all the nuances in his gaze, making it impossible for me to read what was on his mind. Why would he hide his thoughts from me? What did he have to hide?

"Why are you hiding from me?" I asked, not willing to be left in the dark.

"I hide nothing."

"Your eyes don't tell me that." I said as I sat up. "Your eyes don't tell me anything."

He held my arm gently before laying me back in the bed.

"It would be unwise of me to withhold information from you." He said. "I must make up for my previous failure. I do not wish to create a new one."

My temper flared out as my body was bombarded by a freezing shiver.

"I am not like you." Sesshomaru continued once he saw that I would not reply to his statement. "You are always alive, always filled with some emotion, or thought."

I shifted my gaze away from him, suddenly not wanting to hear his reply.

"That emotion has made you my heart." He stated as he entwined his fingers with mine. "A heart that I will do whatever it takes to keep."

"Even if it means keeping me against my will? Would you keep me here if I grew to absolutely hate you?"

"I will not lose you again."

"That's rather selfish." I commented as I started to play with his fingers.

I moved my gaze to our hands, watching for the slightest twitch in his hand. I watched as his hand moved to guide my gaze to his face. I watched as he kissed me. "I would steal your pain away if possible." He told me.

"I brought it upon myself. Don't beat yourself up about it, okay? I'll get over it."

He was quick to lay next to me and hold me as his moko moko locked us in place. He said nothing as he held my head in his chest. We bloomed for each other. I felt what he couldn't' find the words to express: the anger he harbored toward himself for hurting me, his childish desire to keep me locked away until we were the partners we once were, his fear of him chasing me away, his need for me to show him that I still loved him. The last one insulted me oh so slightly. Did he think I could shut off my love for him so easily? He could kill me, and still have my heart in his blood stained hands. Regardless of how much he hurts me, no matter what I think, or what I do, my heart will always belong to him. If he couldn't tell that much, he was blind. If he didn't understand that I'm just as selfish as he it, then he's as oblivious as that brother of his.

My mind and arms wrapped around him, as I listened for his heartbeat. I buried my head in his chest, as I looked for solace. It felt like a century had passed since we last embraced so calmly. My heart burned as the mark left on it from his love was enflamed. He had branded my neck with his moon, and my soul with his name. There was no way for me to ignore or escape the grasp he has on my emotions, the same emotions he cherishes. I am as vulnerable as a heart; I'll crumple under the slightest pressure. Though we are both passionate about the other, the slightest agitation in our carefully established equilibrium will throw our relationship into frenzy. I guess we're too passionate about the other, jumping to extremes to settle scores and maintain our bliss, or soothe our aches. I would have to make an effort to keep my feet still should this happen again. I stressed the situation beyond what it should have been, and harmed us both.

A low purr rumbled through the air, stirring me from my thoughts. I eased my paling grip on him before letting go.

"You need not let go." He entwined my hand with his own.

"I don't want to choke you."

"It is fine." He commanded. "So long as it is you."

"I'm going to drown in your love at this rate." I told him as I latched back onto him.

"If that is what it will take to steal your attention, I will drown your senses."

"You love it, don't you, ingraining yourself into my being?"

"I love you."

I hid my blushing face from him.

Once again, he left me with nothing to say. How could I come back from that without being embarrassed? I don't think I'll ever get accustomed to Sesshomaru saying that to me, but I'm sure this won't be the last time I hear it from him.

"Kazumi." He called as he pawed softly at me for my gaze.

OF course I love him too. I-I just...I just wanted to hold him

"I will embark for Rin tomorrow." He told me.

"Did you plan to leave me behind?" I asked.

He was quiet for a while. "You need to rest."

"I'm going with you." I stated.

"Is that what you want?" He asked before caressing my cheek. "Do you feel well enough?"

"I'll be fine."