I was summoned again in early March. While Loki wasn't warm, he was polite. He inquired how I had been getting on and after Njord. Then he uttered the one sentence I never thought to hear from his lips. "I apologize for my boorish behavior and for using our son as a pawn. I recognize that I did the same thing for which I despised Odin, though at least I didn't hide it. Moreover, I should never have pulled my daggers on you. I am more than capable of defending myself from a dull kitchen knife."
That was my cue to own my part in the clash. "It was a gross overreaction to threaten you with any sort of weapon. I abhor violence and did not act according to my convictions. I am sorry, as well. I am glad to hear you say you won't pursue our son for you own ends. Now I need to be able to trust you. We'll need to build an amicable association…"
"I think we can have an association that is more than amicable, Sjofn." He turned on the charm. His famous silver tongue and devilish smile had been perfected by a lifetime of wheedling. I steeled myself against them.
"That is not an option. You are Njord's father, so I will do what I can to facilitate some sort of relationship between the two of you, but you've proven yourself to be mercurial and abusive. I won't subject myself to that again. I certainly won't subject Njord to it. Remember how offended you were that I would suggest that you might hurt your son? I now have proof that it is possible. If you can control yourself and be agreeable, you may have the supervised visits I promised. I will drop in every couple of weeks for conversation. We'll see how that goes."
"Sjofn, I thought you loved me." His expression was equal parts hurt and calculation.
"I do. Love doesn't mean trust. When I came here for the first time, I laid out all my expectations and requests. Everything went swimmingly for a while, now everything has gone sideways. Those expectations and requests are still in effect and will drive my decision on timing and access to our son. My emotions will not alter those facts. I'm going now." Before we reached the bottom step, the doctor and I heard crashes and splintering inside.
Loki and I settled into a new routine of stilted dialogue bi-weekly. He still employed his charisma, although less and less as I refused to respond. He asked for a written document of my expectations. During one of our visits, he informed me that he'd returned to therapy. I flashed the first genuine smile I'd given him in almost a year. "I hope you find it more helpful this time." He nodded yet didn't reciprocate. From that point, the prince mellowed and thawed slowly. We chatted more easily, and he became friendly. It was May, and the trees were full and green. Wildflowers had sprung up around the cabin. Loki invited me to stroll outside to enjoy the fresh air. Dr. Strange stayed on the porch. We didn't speak much, mostly taking in the beauty of spring. We were ambling back toward the wooden house when Loki halted. He sincerely questioned, "Will you please come back every week like you used to?"
I didn't stop to think. "Yes."
Loki began to open up a little more each visit. He'd calmed considerably and was sharing what he learned in counseling again. The prince shocked me once again when he confessed that Eir, the Asgardian healer, had consented to see him. She'd suggested some Midgardian plants that might be helpful to bring clarity and peace. She'd left a list and Dr. Strange, who was familiar with most of them, had procured some in pill form or tea to try. One helped him fall asleep. He hadn't realized how poorly he slept. He was more refreshed, better able to deal with minor irritations. He cited the Sorcerer Supreme as one of his chief provocations. I articulated that I could mark the difference in him, and that I used what Midgardians called supplements myself. I found them efficacious.
The prince additionally shared that, "I have a small voice that speaks to me. Not a hallucination, more like my conscience, though most don't believe I have one of those. The thoughts are radically opposed to any I've had before. Some build on therapy, however, some are spontaneous. I think more about loving and being loved. My heart has become hard and needs to be softened. I need to be authentic, instead of hiding behind trickery. I should serve others. I've literally never thought like this before."
I informed the doctor it was time for Loki and Njord to be introduced. He was still slightly wary nevertheless agreed that Loki was much improved, meeting my requirements. I would come on the same day next week only later in the afternoon, after playschool. Again, I enlisted Bruce to aid me in explaining to my son how A Loki had become His Loki. The concept of a different Loki receiving the memories of his dead father, Loki, when the timelines merged was totally plausible to my little boy with his imagination. I revealed this to him the day before the visit was to happen because I was afraid he'd be too keyed up otherwise. I didn't do much to prepare him; I simply couldn't figure out how to go about it. I did tell him that there would be a fiery circle to walk through, which he said sounded cool. He asked what he should call the prince; I responded that he should ask Loki. Getting Njord to sleep was a chore. He was constantly asking about his father's likes and dislikes, mostly related to his own. I kept repeating that Asgard had had unrelated games, no TV or movies, the prince had been educated by tutors rather than a school, etc. I regretted my choice to wait to inform my child of the impending call. I could have at least let an Asgardian noble share some memories. Oh, well. It was one night. Then Loki could experience the pleasure of parenthood and the incessant questions of a six-year-old! I finally got the rambunctious lad quietened and tucked in with his father's picture an hour late. I caught up on some work, did some light cleaning, then turned in for the night.
Njord was dancing about the lawn when the portal opened. He was awed by the ring of blazing light and the Sorcerer Supreme. He ran up to me to grab my hand, which I gave a gentle squeeze. He glanced up and I winked. He relaxed only marginally. Dr. Strange walked over. "Hello, Njord, I'm Dr. Strange. Your mom has told me all about you. I'm going to be with you and your mom if you need anything. Your father is a bit nervous because he doesn't know many children, so you'll have to help him. Can you do that?"
"Yes sir," Njord whispered.
"Good. He'll like you very much. Are you ready?"
My little boy nodded solemnly. The doctor led us across the grass and through the portal. Loki was on the porch. He focused on Njord hungrily, though he was rooted to his spot. A frisson of fear ran up my spine. It was not long ago that this man had imperiled my son, intent on his own destructive path. I quashed the thought, reminding myself we'd be hurled home immediately if the prince tried anything untoward. My boy was gripping my hand so tightly it almost hurt. We reached the veranda. I introduced my lover to his son. "Loki, this is Njord. Njord, please meet Loki."
Njord drew himself up tall and stuck out his hand. "I'm pleased to meet you, Sir."
Loki squatted down to Njord's level, shaking the small hand with his much larger one. "I am pleased to meet you, too. Would you care to come sit? Or would you like to walk around out here?"
My baby shifted his eyes to me, as if to ask permission. I smiled with a faint nod. "I want to walk. I don't like sitting very much, except when I look at books or TV."
"Oh? Do you read yet?" Loki inquired as we set off, the doctor following behind.
"Not yet. Mamma reads to me. We practice the alphabet in Norwegian and English a lot. Are we in Norway?"
We all turned to Dr. Strange at the question. "Sweden, actually. It is an abandoned resort for tourists."
"Oh, okay." My boy was really interested, the question had just passed through his thoughts. "Do you like to read, Sir?"
"Yes, I enjoy reading very much. Please don't call me 'Sir'. I prefer something less formal."
"What should I call you?"
"What makes you comfortable?" My heart melted when Loki recognized that Njord could have an opinion and gave him the opportunity to express it.
"Mamma and Uncle Bruce told me how you are a different Loki from my father, but that when your timeline went away, you got all his memories. So, you are kind of 'A Loki' and 'My Loki' all together. I'm not sure I should call you Pappa, so maybe just 'Loki' like Mamma does?"
My prince was understandably bewildered by the chatter about A Loki and My Loki but didn't mention it. He simply stated, "That sounds like a reasonable conclusion. Call me Loki. Is 'Uncle Bruce' Bruce Banner?"
This query was directed at me except Njord didn't notice. "Yes. He talks to Mamma a lot and teaches me things sometimes. He looks odd to most people. He's big and green. His eyeglasses look funny, I think. He's really smart and he's nice to us. We talk on the computer."
"I see." Loki clearly didn't see. On the contrary, he appeared disgruntled. A little boy's constant blabbering could wear on one's nerves, so I suggested we go inside for tea. If the child's mouth were full, he couldn't prattle so much. Loki prepared tea and brought out cake, while I took my son to wash his hands.
Njord practically inhaled his slice of cake, then shot a barrage of questions at his father. "Are you really Uncle Thor's brother? Mamma says my father was a Jotun, but I shouldn't talk about it a lot. Are you a Jotun? I'm half-Jotun. I was blue when I was born, but Mamma says when I saw I picture of my father as an Asgardian, I changed to look like him. I have the picture in my room. You look like his picture. Is that because you are A Loki, too? Does that mean I look like you?
If an earthquake had struck at the moment, causing the floor to open up, I'd have happily dived in. Apparently, my son didn't think "I shouldn't talk about it" applied to the subject. I could feel my face burning. Loki appeared dazed, mouth agape. Dr. Strange was alert to the tension however betrayed no interest in the outcome.
"I am Thor's adopted brother. I was born a Jotun. I am aware of your change at birth from your mother. I experienced a similar change, but I was unaware that I came from Jotunheim until I was an adult. Your father and I were the same person until a time travel event split the timelines. That is why Dr. Strange brought the timelines back together. I received your father's memories, and I still have my own memories, too. We are one person again, I suppose," Loki answered, with uncharacteristic diffidence.
"So, you are my Pappa?"
"If you want me to be, yes. I was in a different time when your father and mother were together, still I remember how much he wanted to be with her and love her. I was still in that timeline when you were born, but he'd died, so I'm sorry you didn't have anything except a picture. I am staying here, though, and I hope that you and your mother will allow me to love you both. Your father and I have always wanted to be in a family that loves each other, treats every member as equally important, and doesn't keep secrets. Your mother was very wise to tell you that you are half-Jotun, even if she wants to keep that in the family. It is good that you know who you are and that you are loved, no matter what." Loki's lashes were wet.
I was uncomfortable. My relationship with Loki had been progressing, on the other hand, I was intentionally taking it slower after the crisis of last year. I wasn't ready for marriage and I didn't want my son to get his hopes up that we'd be like Finn, Kjersti, and Knud. I could hear the longing in Loki's voice, in his words. Here he was at last, the authentic Loki, voicing clearly what had driven him his whole life- to a six-year-old. Deep inside, he's become emotionally stuck as a child, desiring approval he didn't know how to obtain. Bearing what felt like rejection because Odin expressed love in such an incompatible way and was eaten up by his own guilt over Hela, whom Loki resembled. From the moment I saw the murderous hag, I wondered if this was why Odin favored Thor, who looked more like his beloved Frigga. After Njord's transformation, it occurred to me that if Loki could've had the power to see inside Odin's thoughts there on Jotunheim, as he could do magically now, might he have seen Hela? Those were unanswerable questions, only they could explain so much. I felt overwhelmed by emotional strain.
I caught Dr. Strange's eye. He spoke for the first time. "I know you won't like this, but I have to bring this call to an end. You can pick up again next week."
Loki and Njord wore twin expressions of dejection. It was amusing, yet heartrending at the same time. They plodded side by side out to the grounds. Njord turned to Loki as the doctor conjured his portal. "May I hug you, My Loki?"
"I'd like that." Dropping to one knee, my lover wrapped his arms around the little boy, while the child stood on his tiptoes to reach around the man's neck. My prince looked up. "Sjofn, thank you," he choked out.
I couldn't speak. I nodded, took Njord's hand and crossed back into my yard. My baby burst into sobs. I carried him into the house, sat down on the sofa with him on my lap. We stayed that way for a long time. That night, Njord begged to sleep in my bed. Normally, that only happened when he was ill. I gave my permission. He crawled under the covers; his father's photo clutched to his chest.
I kept Njord home from playschool the next day so he could process his feelings. I made his favorite breakfast then we went to the backyard. He played on his swing set while I worked a bit. When he came to sit with me, I set my laptop aside. "Mamma, is My Loki going to be my Pappa?"
"I don't know, Sweet. What is a Pappa like? What do you want him to do or be?"
"Well…" he dragged out the word. "Finn's pappa is Asgardian and he lives with Finn and his mamma. He does some of the things you do with me, but he takes Finn places by himself to learn about Asgard and what he calls 'the old ways.' I guess My Loki would live with us and teach me the old ways, too."
"What about Sigurd, from barnehage? His pappa is Asgardian, too. His pappa and mamma live in individual houses. Sigurd spends time with each of them, just not living together. Does Loki have to live with us to be your Pappa?"
"I guess not. But he said he wanted to love you and me. You said you love him. Why can't he live with us?" I knew it was coming, only I'd hoped to avoid this question for the nonce. I hadn't communicated to Njord a lot about his dad's past, especially his hostile tendencies. Not only did I not want to taint my child's viewpoint if Loki changed, but I wasn't sure what he'd understand.
"Loki made some extremely poor choices in his life. He did some things that harmed and frightened a lot of people. He still thinks about those things sometimes as good, while others, including me, see them as bad. He is working on understanding why they are problematic and changing his viewpoint, but I don't know when or if that will fully happen. I can't let him live with us until I can trust that he won't hurt us or other people. It doesn't mean I don't love him. That is also why, when you hang out with your father, you won't be alone with him. I have been going to see Loki for a year and I am always evaluating, along with Dr. Strange, how he changes and grows as a person, whether he is safe, and how much time we can spend with him. I want you to love him, however he has had some terrible things happen to him for which he developed ways to protect himself at the expense of others. He hurt others in retaliation or to make himself feel better. You can want for him to learn to heal from this pain, still, he has to choose to do that. If he can, and can make better choices, then maybe we can all live together. If not, we will have to protect ourselves. We will still love him and wish for what's best for him."
"Is my Loki a villain? Because people say Uncle Thor is a hero and they like him. Villains are bad and most of them don't like My Loki," Njord admitted softly, staring at the ground.
"He has acted in ways that many people would consider villainous. I am aware that his motivation for doing so isn't out of wanting to be mean or malicious but out of his pain. I think of him as broken. Everyone is a little bit broken; he has suffered some serious breaks. Still, we have to learn to heal from our breaks. Even Uncle Thor went through a time when he let his brokenness drive him to do things that weren't healthy and I limited how much he saw you, made sure he was supervised, to keep you safe from any accidents that could result from his decisions at the time. Loki is still learning. How do you know other people don't like him?"
"I've heard grown-ups who are from Asgard talk when they thought I couldn't hear them. They say he's bad but I'm lucky because I'm like you. Some say he used to be bad, but he helped save them in the end of Asgard. Some were scared when A Loki came to New Asgard. They say it's because he's a Frost Giant, even though Odin tried to make him Asgardian. Is My Loki bad because he's a Frost Giant?"
"No. Asgardians fought with Frost Giants for a long time and the Jotuns tried to conquer the Nine Realms, led by King Laufey, who was Loki's birth father. Asgardians think of them as warlike and villainous. We don't actually know much about them as a result of only seeing them when there were battles. Maybe there are only a few who are warmongers and the rest want peace. There have been some very bad Asgardians, too, like Hela. What if other realms thought all Asgardians are like her? We'd be the villains. Loki's Frost Giant heritage is painful owing to his Pappa and Mamma leaving him to die. Odin rescued him, which was good, only he didn't tell Loki about it when he was a boy, or even as a young man. Loki found out accidentally. Loki heard all those stories about the Jotuns being monsters as he grew up, so he was afraid he was a monster, too. He isn't. He just doesn't know what he is." I pulled Njord onto my lap to look him in the eyes. "We should remind him a lot that we like him, tell him what we like about him, and encourage him to make good choices."
"Like you do with me?" my baby suggested.
"Yes. And I'm sorry you had to hear people say mean things about your father. I wish you'd told me sooner, so we could've talked about it sooner. I wanted to protect you from that since I knew it could happen but that would be a similar mistake to Odin's. Please, Baby, come tell me if anyone says anything that bothers you. I can't make them change but we can talk about our hurt with each other. Home is a safe place, and I aim to keep it that way."
"Okay. Can I go play some more?"
"Of course." I kissed his cheek and allowed him to run back to the swing set. I needed to work, on the other hand, I was too emotionally drained. I let watching my little boy soothe my aching heart.
I'd given Loki his phone back when I started seeing him every week. He called that night. He inquired after Njord right away, having heard his cries as the portal had closed. I disclosed that our son was processing the meeting. I didn't mention that Njord wanted him to move in with us. I shared that he was more confused by the idea of two Lokis who had been one and became one again than I'd expected. "He asked a lot of questions about how you could become his Pappa, which I suppose you have realized is a common title for Norwegian fathers. We talked about families and that they don't all look the same. The expectations are fluid. He has claimed some ownership of you, though. He doesn't simply call you 'Loki'. He calls you 'My Loki' in the possessive form. Until he met you, you were 'A Loki'."
"Why did he say, 'A Loki'?" the prince inquired.
"That's the way I referred to you when you came to New Asgard to find Thor. A Loki had come to town, but not His Loki, so he didn't meet you then. I had no inkling that would muddy the water, so to speak, considering I had no expectation that all this would come about. Still, now that you are 'My Loki', he has decided you are family, regardless of his confusion."
"I am glad. I never thought I'd enjoy hugs until you and Njord came into my life," Loki pondered, wonderingly. "I find I dislike letting go. I called to ask you something, as well. I noticed that Njord calls Bruce Banner 'Uncle Bruce'. Why is that?"
"He knows Bruce helped bring him into the world, that Bruce is my friend, and that Bruce is Uncle Thor's friend. It is an honorary title for a close family friend."
"How close are you?"
He sounded jealous, but things with my prince weren't always what they seemed. If he had some sort of grudge against Bruce or wanted revenge on Hulk for smashing him in New York, he might use my friendship as a way to get to him. "Why do you ask?"
"You were alone for five years. Perhaps you got lonely."
"I did get lonely, although Bruce has only ever been like a brother to me. Besides, someone captured my heart a long time ago. I only have room in my heart for familial relationships and friendships."
"Would it be possible for you to bring Njord once a week, then also come by yourself once a week? I missed spending time with just you, Sjofn."
"I will have to figure out how to juggle that with my work and other responsibilities. I will think on it. Please give me a week or two to find a schedule that is sustainable, okay?"
"Of course. I don't want to stress you. I just want to be with you. I don't want to choose between you and Njord, either."
"I want to be with you, too."
"I love you, Sjofn."
"I love you, too. I have to go now. Goodnight, Loki."
"Goodnight."
I heard disappointment in his tone. I was going to have to have the same heart-to-heart with Loki as I'd had with Njord. Stringing him along, thinking it was inevitable that we'd raise our son as a couple, or more immediately, that we'd soon resume our sexual relationship, was wrong. I was sure he assumed that if I deemed him safe enough for Njord, then intimate intercourse was a no-brainer. His brief descent into his former obsession and madness had shaken me. It was the first time all the rancor and abuse had been directed at me, personally. My own conduct was no less concerning. I had determined to take reconciliation slowly and I would hold to the choice.
When Njord and I exited the fiery ring, Loki leapt down the steps to greet us. Njord dashed to meet him halfway. Loki swept our son into the air to swing him around. Our boy giggled with delight. He raised the child over his head to settle on his shoulders, as I reached them. "Shall we stroll?" the prince queried. We followed a trail that wound through the forest of Scots pine trees. Loki questioned Njord about his favorites- TV show, book, toy, game, food, color, and so on. The boy chattered happily for quite some time. Then he posed some of the same questions back to Loki. I fidgeted when Loki named Wisdom of Queen Frigga of Asgard as his favorite book.
"Mamma wrote that. Is that why you like it?" piped Njord.
"Partly," replied the Asgardian prince. "But too, Queen Frigga was my mother."
"You are a prince like Uncle Thor?"
"Yes, I was. I don't think it matters anymore in Midgard. Besides, Valkyrie is King now."
"If Valkyrie is King and Uncle Thor guards the galaxy, what do you do?" Njord pressed.
"Right now, I let Dr. Strange study the effects on me of the closed timelines. We couldn't predict the outcome, like the thoughts of Your Loki becoming mine."
"What will you do when he is finished?"
"I don't know, yet. I have someone to whom I talk helping me decide." I was learning as much from the conversation as was my son.
"You helped Asgard escape Hela. Why don't you guard the galaxy with Uncle Thor?"
"I would rather not stay in space for long periods as Thor does. I prefer to do something on Midgard."
"Uncle Thor and Uncle Bruce used to protect Midgard as Avengers. Maybe you could be one of those."
"I don't think The Avengers will have me. I attempted to invade Midgard and be a King over everyone here. Not a wise plan. The Avengers assembled to fight me. Even though there were some New Avengers, I don't believe they are together anymore. Nor do I think they'll trust me. I haven't given anyone reason to trust me in a long time. I'm discovering that earning back a trust betrayed is infinitely more difficult than earning and keeping trust in the first place. I hope that when you hear about wicked things I've done; you'll learn to be better than me."
"Mamma says when we love someone, we always want what's best for them and them to be better, but that's still their choice. When I misbehave, Mamma says I made a bad choice. Then she helps me think about what a good choice would be next time. Then she tells me she loves me."
"Your Mamma is a lot like my mother. They are both wise, loving women. I didn't listen and obey my mother as I should have. I loved her but I didn't tell her." He pulled Njord down from his shoulders and knelt in front of him. "I want you to remember something very important for your life. If you learn nothing else from me, please remember this. Tell the people you love that you love them, even if you're angry at them. It's the most important thing to do. Can you remember that?"
"Yes. I love you, My Loki," my baby professed.
"I love you, too, Njord," Loki returned, hugging our child to his chest.
Tea was held on the porch. The day was too beautiful to be inside. Loki was curious regarding playschool, so Njord gave a detailed account of his playmates and their routine. He proudly announced that playschool was almost finished then he'd be starting primary school. He wanted to read. My baby offered to read his father his favorite book when he learned how. Loki assured our boy he was looking forward to it. He chased Njord around a bit. They dropped onto the veranda furniture, sweaty and panting. My son piped up, ushering in the next awkward moment. "Why did you stab Uncle Thor so much?"
How do children manage to make such a question sound so innocuous? My prince opened his mouth, closed it, opened again, closed again. Hesitantly, he responded, "At first, it was part of playing. He was stronger than I and could pick me up and toss me. I would use my magic to shapeshift and trick him then I'd stab him. Not with real weapons, usually sticks. Occasionally, as we got older, with a pocketknife. I didn't intend to harm him, nor did I. Scratches, sometimes a bit of blood. Nothing Mother couldn't heal in a trice. I myself was covered in bruises most of the time. As teens and young men, we became more competitive. Thor was still physically much stronger, contrarily, I was quick and adept at more advanced magic. Thor was considered the ideal warrior, which all noble sons aspired to be, with his size and strength. I did well with daggers. That wasn't as impressive as Thor's hammer. I used magic to gain advantage, which was fine in battle, except against other Asgardians during training, it was considered cheating by my peers. I didn't understand why it was alright to use in war, but not training- how else could I know what to do on a battlefield? I was jealous that Thor was praised and well-liked and I was rebuked and barely tolerated. I hurt others, including Thor, with my daggers when I grew frustrated or enraged. I thought Odin loved Thor more due to Thor being a typical warrior like him. When I found out I was Jotun, I believed he loved Thor because Thor was his biological son and that I was only around to be used to make an alliance with Jotunheim. I didn't know who I was anymore, I didn't trust my family, and I was distressed and furious. Thor had fallen in love and seemed to have everything I coveted. That's the only time I truly wanted to inflict injury on Thor. It was wrong of me, Njord. It was wrong to use weapons and aggression to make myself feel better." Loki was staring out toward the trees, his face a red hue, his eyes haunted.
Njord walked over, climbed onto his dad's lap to hug him. "Mamma told me Odin loved you but didn't show it well. She also said Odin didn't make good choices all the time. Even Uncle Thor said that. Your Mamma loved you a lot, right?"
Loki gave our child a watery smile. "Yes, she did. Even Odin stated to Thor and me both he loved us just before he died. I wish I could've heard it sooner. And Thor and I reconciled before I died. That sounds so strange to say. I hope when I see my brother again, we'll be friends, too." Our boy nodded and turned to settle himself against Loki's chest. Within a few minutes, he'd drifted off to sleep. Bedtime was ruined, still I didn't have the heart to wake him. The boy and the man, images of one another, were both at peace in the moment. The softness that came over my lover's features made my heart swell with tenderness. I needn't have worried. My son snoozed for only fifteen minutes or so. With wakefulness, came energy. The boy ran about gleefully, while the adults watched. "Sjofn, you'll come again, alone, soon?"
"Yes, Loki. I can come on Friday."
"Good." He reached out to lace my fingers with his. He added no more, tracking Njord's movements around the pines. Too soon, Dr. Strange declared that he had work to complete, and our afternoon together came to an end. Loki lifted the boy with one arm, enfolded the other around me, and brought us into a group hug. He bussed each of our cheeks, then let us go.
"Will you teach me magic?" my son implored. Fear gripped me. If Njord learned his father's magic, would he become more like the man? Would Loki once again want to use him to achieve conquest? The fear must have shown on my face because Loki appeared crestfallen, hastily hiding the expression.
"Your mother and I will talk about it."
"Okay. I love you, My Loki," Njord reminded him before traipsing through the portal.
"I love you, too!" his father called. "And I love you, Sjofn."
"I love you, too," I rasped, guilt flooding me as I left him.
My stomach was full of butterflies. I longed for easy answers, serenity, just plain fun. Loving Loki had come with a lot of baggage. Navigating all the things I'd been hit with since Alternate Loki made the timeline jump defied description. I wasn't going to give up without a fight, though. I yearned for us to be a traditional family more than did my son. I would exhaust every option until either there was none left, or we attained the goal. I was on the veranda when Loki jumped headfirst into our first item of business. "You don't want me to teach Njord magic," he declared, without preamble.
"Can we table that for just a moment? I have to address something that will figure into that choice we have to make, and another I've already decided. I am uncomfortable talking about this, but we can't move forward if we can't discuss difficult things. Let me start by mentioning that when I was in therapy, even recently, growth wasn't a steady upward trajectory. Bringing old grievances, distorted thought patterns, and unhealthy coping mechanisms into my consciousness where I could examine them was painful and triggered other things I'd stuffed down and forgotten about. Sometimes it gets worse before it gets better. I watched that happen to you, too. I was caught off guard by how deep your emotional scars run, though I suppose that was naïve on my part. However, your coping mechanisms tend toward the destructive. I'd seen the results play out with others, yet to experience it personally was terrifying. I am proud of all the progress you've made since then. You have an aura of tranquility I've never witnessed about you. You handle Njord's awkward and provocative questions with thoughtful, humble aplomb. Humility is a trait you've previously disdained, but it suits you well. My concern is whether this change is a means to an end, or a new way of living. Our son is already marking every word you utter and watching to see if your actions match. If these are actions you've adopted to leave this place, or to gain access to your son, or both, otherwise don't plan to incorporate into your life, he will most likely be the first to notice. That is why I am leery of magic lessons. You've always been mercurial, and that unpredictability worries me. For Njord, I don't want him to have power that outmatches his judgement on when and how to use it. Midgard is unlike Asgard; Norway is especially distinct, culturally. Magic is less of an advantage here. I'm not absolutely opposed, only I'd like to wait a couple of years to allow him to mature and see how the two of you are relating as father and son."
Loki seemed to be listening intently and made no interruptions. Expressions flew across his face, though. Vexation, satisfaction, even shame showed in his countenance. As I addressed the issue of magic, his brows knit. "I don't have enough information on Norway to have an opinion but waiting to study magic isn't unreasonable. There isn't a window of optimal learning, I don't believe. More than that, despite your fears, again, not unreasonable, you are planning for me to be involved in Njord's life as a parent. I don't have the right to ask for any more than that. You mentioned another decision. What is that?"
"I want to wait a while longer to resume a sexual relationship."
"The wizard will be happy," my prince remarked sarcastically.
"I will never be one hundred percent clear-headed about you, but I need to minimize distractions while I have to determine your access and influence on Njord. I can't give you a timetable how long this will last. I didn't come this determination lightly. I will still see you if you want me whereas physical intimacy will have to wait." I scanned his reaction anxiously.
Loki sighed deeply. "Sjofn, I want your companionship as much as I want your body. I'll survive. Not happily, or comfortably, but I'll survive." He smiled wryly. "Just don't abandon me. You are here with Njord, yet I need your full attention, sometimes, too. I want to give you mine as well. Maybe we could read a book together and discuss it?"
"Alright. Any ideas?"
"Have you discovered William Shakespeare at your library?"
"Yes. How about Hamlet? That's one with which I am familiar, so I can fit it into my schedule."
"Hamlet it is."
We whiled away the rest of our time learning each other's tastes in Midgardian literature, poetry, and plays. I got my "just plain fun." We found more common interests than just a shared homeland, some traumatic events, sex, and a child. The cerebral boy I crushed on was an intellectual lover of the arts as a grown man. No wonder I was in love with him.
By July, Njord and I were spending most of the day with Loki, from mid-morning to after supper. Dr. Strange brought along books and papers, keeping mostly to himself. At dinner, the adults took turns cooking. Loki allowed Njord to help with stirring, showed him how to measure, and talked through the proper procedures for chopping. Though the Asgardian prince hadn't pursued the use of potions, they were a feature of Asgardian magic his mother had taught him. He likened potion-making to cooking, which the Sorcerer Supreme seconded. With the comparison to magic, Njord began calling cooking his "magic lessons" and expressed surprise that I knew thaumaturgy, too. I chose not to disabuse him of the notion.
My Fridays were half days, arriving home after tea, while Njord had playdates. We entertained his friends on other days. My prince and I discovered books, watched films, listened to music together. Loki even located music similar to Asgardian elite composers. He taught me a few of the dances he'd learned for balls given in the palace at which I'd served and watched. "Perhaps not all of Midgard is inferior. In fact, my perception of what is inferior was misguided. You should have been a noble, Sjofn. What we Asgardians lost in land and grandeur, we gained in better opportunities. Nobles no longer have to manage estates, artisans take over the family business, or farmers work the soil. Everyone is free to pursue their own dreams. Someday, I will marry you if you'll have me," he mused.
"You are mostly correct. There are still family structures that pressure the younger to follow in the footsteps of previous generations. There are resources that are hoarded in the power of the few in many places. And there are groups of people that are vilified by those with privilege. Norway is a lovely place to live and values taking care of its people. Even in this wonderful place, though, the people have been much the same, and some don't want refugees and immigrants who bring customs and values that may be in variance to their own. That is why they vote for the people who make their laws, so that the populace can decide the direction of the society, rather than a king or queen. Valkyrie represents New Asgard with the title of King but doesn't have the same powers Odin did. I think I mentioned once that her position is mostly administrative. She is in addition Mayor to the people wo lived there before we came. They can choose to vote her out of office. She'd have to work with the next mayor, subject to city ordinances, as we are subject to Norwegian law. The people have a large voice in government. And, as you observed, there is more mobility between the classes."
"I never quite felt like I belonged in Asgardian society. I don't fit in with Midgardian civilization, either. My therapist has suggested I join a group therapy session she conducts that would be with some of the Avenger allies. She says their various backgrounds have a few commonalities with mine and they're less likely to reject me out of hand than I assume. If she is correct, though, maybe there are people who will understand me a little. I've never had friends who were mine, not Thor's, until you. It's just so odd that the group that may provide that prospect are connected to the Avengers."
He sounded lost and hopeful at the same time. I shrugged. "Same name, different people. If you don't try, nothing happens. You took a chance on me. A reconciliation with Thor seemed impossible. You're a parent. Going to therapy to begin with; all these have been new experiences that have required your social and relational skills to expand. There might be someone who needs you as much as you need them."
I could almost see the cogs turning as Loki contemplated the idea. He nodded. "I will tell her I'll attend." I nestled closer on the sofa, pulling his arm around me, sighing with contentment.
Our boy was starting primary school. I literally begged the Sorcerer Supreme to allow Loki to come to New Asgard for one day so we could walk Njord there and back again. After much wrangling, he agreed, under three conditions. First, the doctor would accompany us. Second, Loki mustn't interact with anyone else, other than us. He could smile, wave, or return a polite greeting, nothing more. Third, while outside my home, the Asgardian prince would be magically handcuffed to Dr. Strange. I had to plead with my love to agree to the third condition. Finally, exasperated, I burst out, "Do you want to be there for your son or not? Are you willing to sacrifice a bit pride that only you, the doctor, and I will be aware of, to make son's day special?
The high color in Loki's face receded, his shoulders relaxed. He gave a sheepish nod. "Of course. I'm sorry. The wizard frays my nerves. Njord is more important. I'll submit."
The big day dawned. I was cooking breakfast while Njord got dressed. A loud rap sounded at the door. "I'll get it!" His sock-clad feet pattered to the entrance. "Finn is early." SQUEAL! I almost flipped eggs onto the floor. "Mamma! Mamma! My Loki is here with Dr. Strange!" He was hopping on both feet.
"Well, let them in, silly boy. You're blocking them."
"Oh! I'm sorry. Come in!" He snatched his father's hand as soon as the man crossed the threshold. "Are you hungry? Mamma's making scrambled eggs on toast with salmon. That's my favorite."
"Njord, Sweetie, there are plates stacked on the table. Will you set them out please? Then get some utensils from the drawer."
"Yes, Mamma." The child did as he was bid.
I pulled down cups for the men to pour coffee or tea as they preferred. I handed Njord his glass of milk. I transferred the food to plates as we seated ourselves. "I start barneskole today," my boy announced.
"Yes, your mother informed us. We are to walk you to school."
"Wow! Really?"
"Yes. I wanted to share this with you. I was educated by tutors, so I never went to school. I envied the children who did, even though they complained sometimes. They had lots of friends. Thor and I had to sit in the Asgardian library while mostly old men droned on. I liked reading the books. In contrast, lessons were boring," Loki recalled.
"Did you go to school, Dr. Strange?"
"Yes, I did. I went to a private school. My school was as large as the New York City Schools. My sister, Donna, and I made lots of friends when we were youngsters."
"You have a sister?"
"Not anymore. She drowned when she was a teenager. That's why I became a doctor. I couldn't help her, so I decided to help other people," he revealed matter-of-factly.
"Why did you stop being a doctor?"
"I was in a car accident and my hands couldn't perform delicate surgeries anymore. In an attempt to heal them, I trained with the Masters of Mystic Arts. I learned so much more than how to heal my hands, but more about myself. I help people through the Mystic Arts now."
"Okay."
Annoyance was writ plainly on Loki's countenance. The doctor was commanding his son's attention and he didn't like it. I redirected the boy's attention to his father. "Loki, did having tutors leave more time for other pursuits?"
"It did. After classes with my tutor, I went to my mother's quarters for tuition in magic. In the afternoons, Thor and I both had training in combat."
"How did your Mamma learn magic?"
"She was raised by witches."
Njord's mouth dropped open. "Your Mamma was a witch?"
"Not like the ones in Midgardian fairytales. Has your Mamma ever told you Asgardian stories?"
"Yes. None of the Asgardian people here are witches, so I thought they were just stories."
"Hela got to them," I quietly inserted.
"They were very real. My mother would have loved you. She would have laughed, and played, and taught you so much more than I can."
I glanced at the clock. "Speaking of teaching, we need to go. Just leave the dishes. I'll take care of them when we come back."
"Mamma, what about Finn?"
"You'll walk with Finn tomorrow like always. Today, it's just going to be us."
"Okay." Njord looked up at Loki. "Will you walk beside me?
"I would love to."
We set off toward the fence. I saw Loki stiffen and heard his intake of breath but saw nothing that warranted such a reaction. As he drew open the gate, he sent Dr. Strange a glare of loathing, yet thankfully, nothing more. I realized that the doctor had handcuffed the Asgardian prince. I couldn't tell visually but Loki's reaction was sufficient evidence. I'd taken Njord to Activity School, which had begun the week before, to let him meet friends. Once we got to the building, he was ready to go. First, though, he hugged Loki and me and waved to Dr. Strange. We'd only taken a few steps away when I heard our boy call out, "My Loki?"
He pivoted. "Yes?"
"Will you walk me home, too?"
"I'll be here."
"Good!" And our child ran off with Finn.
Ambling back to my cottage, Loki grasped my hand. He didn't say anything, taking in the scenery around him- people, cars, houses, trees, etc. It was a companionable silence. At my place, we chose to be seated in the backyard. It was a lovely day. The doctor decided to do some reading inside. I was glad. Loki had virtually attended a group therapy session and shared a little about how it had proceeded. No one had outright rejected him or been rude. They weren't over-friendly, either, however it wasn't a party. Best of all, having two sets of memories in his head wasn't shocking or unbelievable to them. He wanted to go back. I offered my encouragement.
Njord's school day was six hours, so we had time to kill. I taught Loki a few of the Midgardian card games Kjersti had taught me. We played for a couple hours before lunch, then had some sandwiches and fruit. Dr. Strange took his studies to the back while Loki and I watched a movie based on a play that centered on two minor characters from William Shakespeare's Hamlet with the events from the Bard's work playing out in the background of the story. My prince found it as fascinating as I had the first time. The Master of the Mystic Arts joined us just as we were rising from the couch. We headed back to the school. Our son was on the playground with Finn when we arrived. Kjersti was watching them play. I strode up beside her. "Hello, Kjersti! How did Finn like barneskole?"
"He enjoyed it. He was disappointed that Njord isn't in his friend group, but I assured him they'll still play together. How are you?"
"I'm well. You?"
"Same as ever."
My boy's voice rang across the playground. "My Loki! Finn, come meet My Loki!"
Kjersti tensed but didn't comment. The boys ran up. "Finn, this is My Loki. This is my friend, Finn. His pappa is Asgardian. That's Dr. Strange. He watches My Loki."
"Why?" asked a puzzled Finn.
"I don't know. I guess he wants to. Something about effects of timelines," shrugged Njord. I coughed to cover my laugh as both men glared at me.
Loki looked down at the boys and put his hand out toward Finn. "I am pleased to make your acquaintance. Njord has told me a lot about you."
Finn shook Loki's hand and shyly responded," Nice to meet you, Sir."
I drew everyone's attention to Kjersti. "I apologize for not making introductions sooner. This is my friend and Finn's mother, Kjersti. Kjersti, may I present Loki and Dr. Stephen Strange?" They all gave polite greetings. Kjersti wasn't thrilled to meet Loki and Loki wasn't thrilled to be handcuffed to the doctor. "I'm sorry, we're in a bit of a rush today, but we'll be back to our old routine tomorrow. Bye-bye, Finn. Bye, Kjersti." I hugged them, then herded my group up the walkway. Once again, our son had grabbed his father's hand and was chatting about his day. I actually felt a small pang of jealousy that I was being thoroughly ignored.
This wasn't the usual day we would hang out with Loki, except I couldn't spare an extra day for the sake of work, so he and the sorcerer were staying until Njord's bedtime. My little boy coaxed his dad into play, TV, even chores. This last one amused me, as a former servant to Loki and his family. Njord didn't have many chores, just simple things like putting away his toys before dinner and setting the table and clearing it. Still, seeing the Asgardian prince ordered around by a child was slightly ironic.
Normally, our routine would be a bath after supper. I let it stretch out a bit. I had to bite the bullet to enforce the rule, though, since it was a school night. "Njord, go lay out your clothes for tomorrow and get your jammies while I draw the bathwater."
"No, Mamma! Just a little longer!"
"You had a little longer. It's time for a bath."
"But Mamma…" he whined.
"Njord, if you whine, what will happen?"
"I won't get a bedtime story. But Mamma…" he tried again, more even-toned.
"Now."
"Yes, Mamma."
"Thank you."
Loki followed me into the bathroom while I ran water and pulled a towel from the cupboard. "All the parenting books I've read mention not to undermine your partner or coparent, so I didn't say anything. I could have helped, you know."
"I know. But you need to see a little of what he's like when he isn't being a perfect angel. A small glimpse to get you started." I grinned and winked as the child shuffled in.
"Is My Loki giving me my bath?" he squeaked.
"No, I am. After, you can go out to say goodnight. The sooner you bathe, the sooner you're out." Njord tossed his clothes swiftly in the hamper to hop in the tub as his father exited. He allowed me to do the washing to make it go faster. Usually, the boy loved to play in the tub, only that night, he was out in record time.
Freshly washed, jammie-clad, curls drying, Njord scampered back to the living room to crawl into Loki's lap. They prattled but our boy was fighting yawns. His dad noticed. "Njord, may I read your bedtime story tonight?"
"Oh, yes! My room is over here!" I followed them. The child was showing his father the pictures he kept by his bed. One was the old photo Bruce had gifted to me. The other, a newer image, was one I'd pulled from my phone to print. It was Njord and Loki hugging. "Mamma, you don't have to stay." Loki had never been alone with his son before. I walked out of the room, nonetheless I didn't shut the door all the way. I sat next to the jamb, listening intently. Njord chose his favorite book. The cadence and pitch of the prince's voice changed as he read, making each character sound unique. The man was nothing, if not dramatic! The story came to an end. "I like having you here," mumbled the sleepy child.
"I like being here," replied his father.
"Mamma says you can be my Pappa, even if you don't live with us. Sigurd's pappa is Asgardian but doesn't live with his mamma. He still gets to see his pappa a lot, though."
"I want to see you a lot. It's somewhat more complicated for us until Dr. Strange decides I'm healthy enough to leave the cabin for good."
"I hope that's soon. I want you to be my pappa, My Loki.
"I want to be your pappa, Njord."
"Mamma hugs and kisses me goodnight."
I peeked in. Loki squeezed his little boy tightly and kissed him. "I love you, Njord."
"I love you, too, Pappa," our son told him, giving a butterfly kiss back. "Goodnight."
"Goodnight, Son."
Loki exited, tears sparkling in his eyes. "You heard?" I nodded; my throat too choked with my own tears to speak. My love embraced me, his tears falling into my hair. "Thank you for making today happen, Sjofn. You and Njord mean the world to me."
I yearned to take him to my bedroom, make love, and fall asleep, our bodies entwined. I still longed to wake in his arms. I wanted another day, and another, and another. The doctor's presence reminded me we still had far to go in the process of becoming the kind of family I envisioned. I poured all my desires into my kiss. Our energy sizzled. He understood.
I requested a meeting with the Sorcerer Supreme. We needed to find a way to allow Loki short bursts of unsupervised breaks with his son, without placing the child in danger if Loki was playing us. The Master argued against the petition, on the other hand, admitted he could set it up, without putting Njord in a forcefield. The caveat was that I couldn't inform either the prince or our son.
My little boy and I reached at the cabin by two-thirty on Tuesday. Following a walk and some games, it was teatime. As we finished up, I casually suggested, "Njord, why don't you help your pappa clean up while Dr. Strange and I wait outside?" Loki's eyes rounded in surprise. I rose and strode to the door.
The doctor and I took seats on the porch. He pulled out a small electronic contraption. We could hear my boy nattering on, while his dad asked about school. "You bugged the house?"
"It seemed the easiest solution."
He was correct. I just hoped Loki wouldn't find the devices. He'd be livid. On the other hand, we'd glean just as much from the fallout. I was careful on Fridays to stay outdoors as much as possible. I didn't want the sorcerer eavesdropping on me. In the succeeding weeks, Loki and Njord spent longer periods inside after tea. They were still getting to know each other, so their conversations mainly focused on themselves. The boy posed lots of questions about life in Asgard. The man queried about the child's friendships. Njord loved the chats with his father by himself. He often repeated the conversations to me I'd overheard. He became eager to get the clean-up done quickly so he could sit on his father's lap. One day, he was especially wound up. He'd been up late the night before thanks to a look in from Bruce, and he hadn't wanted to sleep. The child was becoming more hyper as he became more tired, in an effort to stay awake. Tea was too relaxing, leading to an erratic burst of energy. I retired to the veranda so Loki and his son could clear away the tea things. The boy kept running and slamming cups and plates on the counter. Twice, the man instructed the child to be careful with the dishes. Njord grabbed the teapot. It had more tea still inside than expected, fell from his hands, and crashed to the floor.
"Didn't I tell you to be careful?" Loki yelled. I was watching through the window. The prince closed his eyes, gulping in deep breaths. The little boy had his back to me, but I knew I'd see him biting his lip to keep it from quivering. His back was stiff and straight, frozen. Small sniffs could be heard on the speaker. Loki opened his eyes. He reached into a drawer to bring out a towel. His voice was measured when he spoke. "You can use this to mop up the tea while I gather the broken pieces." Suiting actions to words, he disappeared behind the table. So did the child. Sniffles continued a moment or two more until Loki offered," Come, let's get a tissue for your nose, then finish."
Njord's tiny voice came across, "I'm sorry, Pappa."
"I know. We'll get it cleaned up together. Uncle Bruce came to see you yesterday? Were you too excited to sleep?"
"Yes. He and Mamma talked after I was sent to bed. I listened for a long time and only fell asleep after Mamma went to bed."
They finished cleaning. My prince pulled his child into the recliner with him. "When I was a child, Thor and I sometimes had to make appearances at feasts or meetings Odin had with important people. We'd be up past our bedtimes, and even when we weren't, I couldn't settle down afterward. The lights were too bright, the smells too strong, everyone talked too loudly. Thor would fall right to sleep, while my body and mind just couldn't calm down. The next day would always be a bad one. I was tired, but I didn't like anyone to know. I'd get into trouble for making more mischief than normal. Sleep is important to think clearly, too. If you have trouble sleeping, even just once in a while, tell your mother. She can make a calming tea or something that will help you."
"Did Odin shout at you?"
"Yes, sometimes. Even when he didn't, I often felt like I couldn't do anything right. I'm sorry I shouted at you, Njord. I can't promise never to do that. When you see me close my eyes, that means I am trying to calm my emotions to think. I'm learning that from my therapist, but it's new for me. I want to be a good pappa, so I'm trying, very hard, but I won't be perfect."
"Do you still love me?"
"Oh, yes, my son. Immensely."
"Okay. When Mamma gets really angry, so she shouts, too. But she always loves me. Sometimes, I shout, too. But I always love her."
"Do you still love me?" Loki returned.
"Yes, Pappa. I'll love you, even if you shout a lot."
"I'm glad. I shall still endeavor not to do so." Loki smiled and his son beamed back.
I lowered myself back into my chair. My pulse slowed. Njord entreated more stories of Loki as a boy. I'd ceased to hear. I was turning into a watering pot these days. My dream felt so close.
The Master of Mystic Arts listened in for a couple of months. In that interval, there was no hint of villainy in my love. Loki and Njord took walks alone and spent a couple of visits without me. Finally, the doctor informed me he'd removed the bugs and cameras (of which I'd not been aware) and wouldn't be joining us, unless I called for him. All three of us were so much more relaxed. We got comfortable with one another, teasing good-naturedly, letting the messier and quirkier sides of our personalities show through, generally letting down our guards. Loki intimated that he'd connected somewhat with a man in his group sessions. The poor guy had some gaps in his memory, while Loki had two sets of memories. However, this man had killed many people while mind controlled. He'd had to go into cryostasis to have the programming removed. Loki's situation was contrasting- he'd wanted to kill, especially Laufey, and even under the influence of the Mind Stone, he'd known what he was doing. Still, each felt guilt for the lives needlessly taken. This man was proving to be a unique combination of challenger to Loki's errant thoughts and excuses, yet encourager of the desire for change. It sounded like Loki had made a friend.
December closed in. Norwegians prepared to celebrate Christmas soon. New Asgardians still celebrated Yule. I approached the Sorcerer Supreme with a proposal to allow Loki a shopping trip then a stay in New Asgard for the full holiday. I was certain I couldn't get all I was asking for just for Njord's birthday. Contrarily, with that and Yule days apart, maybe I could finagle more out of the doctor. He was cautious, though Loki seemed to have turned over a new leaf. He grudgingly agreed to let me take the Asgardian prince shopping for gifts. We wrangled some more over holiday plans, until I offered to invite Valkyrie, Korg, and Miek to celebrate with us. The doctor conceded, on the condition that these "reinforcements" were there. He still wouldn't budge on allowing Loki to stay until the next morning. I turned my most earnest, pleading expression on him. "Please, Njord won't go to sleep knowing his father is leaving. He won't have his dad on his actual birthday, so this will be everything for him. He'll be an emotional wreck. You know he's tenderhearted. Let him fall asleep, secure in the knowledge that he won't have to say goodbye until after breakfast." Dr. Strange was annoyed but gave in.
Loki didn't enjoy commercial shops. He was used to the goods of Asgard that were well-made and designed to last. I bought some gifts. The prince was uninspired. He only needed to purchase a few things for those at the Yule celebration, tokens really. He was adamant that Njord should have something meaningful that was unique. There was a small crafts district where some of the old Asgardian artisans had found a niche business. We browsed through the shops there. Kjersti's husband was a leather worker who sold clothing, shoes, handbags, and the like. I introduced Loki, who complimented the Asgardian man on his son's polite behavior when Loki had met Finn at the school. The prince inquired if the clothier could make leather armor, such as children of nobles wore in training. Knud had done so in Asgard and asked for specifications. Loki commissioned a suit of black and green for Njord. Knud drew out a few designs, according the prince's suggestions. A layout was agreed upon. Since Knud was familiar with our son, he believed he could figure measurements on his own. Loki had been supplied with money when he jumped the timelines and paid for half right away, the other half would be disbursed through me when the armor was delivered. My sweetheart found the items he wished to purchase for our Yule guests and a pocketknife for Njord for Yule, then returned to his chalet. He was excited for the holiday and the opportunity to bestow a present that he hoped would lead to a chance to bond with his boy. I'd had to nix the idea of real daggers, but I felt the suit of leather armor was a perfect choice. I was giddy myself with anticipation.
Njord was somewhat disappointed to miss his birthday with his pappa but having him for Yule and staying overnight made up for that. Each guest for Yule was bringing a dish to share. I was still responsible for the majority of the meal. Valkyrie could be relied upon to bring something traditional, and Loki as well. All bets were off with Korg and Mike. It was fine, though. If they brought pizza, which was highly likely, it would still be eaten in the same spirit. I prepared as much ahead as I could manage. We'd gather at midday then spend the rest of the day together. Loki would arrive in the early morning, so that he could keep Njord occupied as I cooked. I didn't mention this to my son. He was already hyper. I gave him some chamomile tea and put on soft classical music to soothe him before bed.
Njord and I were awake and about in the pre-dawn hours of December 24, the day Norwegians made most merry, so the day we chose for our Yule Day. I was already in the kitchen, while my child ran about the cottage in his underwear. I admonished him to dress but was too busy to enforce the command. At seven-thirty, my doorbell rang. I called Njord to get the door. He swung it open, sans outer apparel, to find his father on the stoop. "Pappa, I thought you were coming with everyone else!" he squealed.
"I came early to help. May I come in?"
"Oops," giggled the boy. He stepped back then danced to where I stood. "Mamma, Pappa's here!" he exclaimed volubly, as if I weren't right in front of him.
"Yes, I see, my sweet. Why don't you go get dressed now?"
Njord looked down at his body in surprise. "Oh! Okay!"
"I swear I have lectured him to put on his clothes at least five times in the last hour, yet he is astonished to find himself in just undies. Were you like that?" I was exasperated.
Loki laughed. "I do recall a few times Thor and I both were chased by nannies carrying various items of clothing when we were in high spirits." He stepped over to whisper in my ear. "Our mother had to break us of the habit by our teens. She warned us we'd scare the maids."
I colored up as the mental image formed of the prince as a teenager when I came to the palace, then my imagination followed the scenario he'd laid out. I would've been mortified. My love was thoroughly enjoying the play of expressions across my face, correctly interpreting the wayward turn of my thoughts. "You are incorrigible!"
"So, I've been told." With a wicked grin, he strode toward Njord's bedroom.
The clock struck eleven. Everything was either prepared or warming. I gathered my dress clothes and glided off to shower. I vacated the bathroom to a glorious new smell permeating the house. Loki and Njord were in the kitchen, pulling a pie from the oven. The aroma was divine, except there'd been food warming in the oven. "Where is…?"
"In the box on the counter, where it is still being kept warm magically. I would not ruin your hard work! I did promise to contribute to the meal, however," replied my love.
"Pappa let me help like I did over the summer. Can we have dessert first?" begged the child.
"No, you have to eat something nutritious, first. You know that. Let's get the table set. Everyone will be here soon." We all grabbed dishes and utensils. We'd just put down the last place setting when a boom came on the door. "Korg's here!" We all chuckled.
I opened the entry and our friends filed in. I was shutting the door as I turned back, but it pushed back. Thor was silhouetted in the frame. "Oh my gosh! Thor! It's wonderful to see you!" He lifted me off my feet in a bear hug. Njord raced over.
"I'm glad to be home with you and my favorite…" the God of Thunder trailed off.
"Pappa, your brother is here! Now our whole family is together!" My baby was beside himself with glee.
Thor was stunned. Joy and ire were warring in his countenance. Loki stepped forward. "Yes, I died. The Avenger's Time Heist created new timelines. I came from one of those and was forced here by an organization called the Time Variance Agency." My prince had never shared that piece of information before. "Dr. Strange closed the adjoined timelines, leaving me here, and them in the other timeline. I don't know if they still exist in any form. I absorbed the thoughts and feelings of the deceased Loki and kept my own. It sounds crazy. Come, sit down to dinner and I will attempt to properly explain."
Thor remained in his spot for a few beats, then hauled his brother into a tight embrace. Loki reciprocated, a first. As they broke free, my love gave me a half-smile, acknowledging my spot-on prognostication of Thor's reaction to finding Loki alive. I lined up the food on the bar between the kitchen and dining area so everyone could serve him or herself. True to form, Korg and Miek had brought pizza. We also feasted on pork ribs, turkey, potatoes, and red cabbage I'd prepared. Valkyrie brought a traditional Asgardian dish she'd managed to adapt with Midgardian ingredients. Thor had stopped in the city to purchase Glogg, which was currently warming. He even brought a non-alcoholic version for Njord.
Loki gave his account, beginning with how he'd escaped with the Tesseract after his Midgardian invasion. He skipped over the intimate details of our relationship, of course, but my involvement put me in the center of the story almost as much as he. Thankfully, he left out our armed debate. He draped his arm around his son, citing the child as his motivation toward change. His heart was on his sleeve as he dropped a peck on the boy's curls. I'd hoped for more revelations like the Time Variance Agency, but he skated over those, too, declaring them no longer of importance. At the conclusion of his tale, Loki told Thor, "I've been waiting to see you, again, Brother. I've missed you and I hope you and I can truly be family."
"We've always been family. I don't remember life before you. We will stay family until we both die- and stay dead." Most of us shifted a little uncomfortably, however, Loki grinned.
We each had a slice of my love's Asgardian pie, which tasted exactly as it smelled, then repaired to the living room. Loki requested that before opening the Yule offerings, we indulge him for a moment to permit Njord to open a birthday present. The prince retrieved a rectangular box in green paper, which he presented to our son. The boy tore open the wrappings and box to reveal the leather armor. His father recounted his own childhood days of training, that he'd had a similar set. Thor added some reminisces of his own, expressing admiration for the workmanship and praising his brother for choosing such a perfect gift. Valkyrie agreed, happy to see traces of Asgardian culture observed. Njord, of course, yearned to don the outfit right away. His dad convinced him to wait until the gift exchanges had been completed. The child handed out all the packages. Exclamations of delight sounded through the house. Njord received typical Midgardian toys and books from most of us. His pappa had chosen the pocketknife for Yule, again, an Asgardian artisan's creation. "Pappa, what's that?" our son inquired, pointing to some engraving leafed in gold on the handle.
"Those are your initials. N for Njord, S for Selby, L for Lokison." He lifted the boy onto his lap. "This is for practical use and I will teach you how each blade and tool works. This is not a toy. If you don't use it properly, the knife will be taken from you until you have matured. Do you understand?"
"Yes, Pappa. When will you teach me?"
"Let's start now." Man and boy bent their heads together to explore the functions of the pocketknife. I hadn't opened any of my gifts; now I did so, thanking my friends for their thoughtfulness. I left the gift from my love until I had his attention.
Thor was engrossed watching Loki and Njord. He, like I, had fervently wished to see his brother learn to love and be loved. To witness the results of the transformation had him mesmerized. The expression on his face when Loki had set consequences for Njord's improper use of the knife had been almost comical, given that Loki had admittedly stabbed Thor with his own knife many times when they were children. The Asgardian princes had set a pattern, not only of their own behavior, but relationally, that had persisted for thousands of years. It wouldn't change overnight. It was inevitable that they would struggle to find new ground. I hoped they could find their way quickly, not fall back in the same mold once the novelty of being together again had worn off. Time would tell.
Once Njord had seen the various functions of the knife, he implored again to don his armor. Again, his father put him off, so that Loki could open his own presents. He thanked each giver as the package was unwrapped. Finally, he came to mine. It was a tall box. He shot me a perplexed look. He ripped off the paper around the top, lifting the flaps of the cardboard. He reached down to pull out an exact replica of the helmet he'd worn at the Fall of Asgard. "I remember watching you fight Hela's Berserkers from The Statesman, even as you pulled off the helmet to use the horns to stab your opponents and then flourish it," I divulged to my love. "You, along with everyone here today, saved us ordinary Asgardians from annihilation. My thanks to all of you. Loki, I wanted to commemorate your unselfish choice to come back home when you could have stayed on Sakaar, to fight for our people. You are a true Asgardian Warrior."
My warrior placed the helmet on his head, leaned over and pressed his lips to mine. "You are no ordinary Asgardian, my darling."
Njord stroked the metal horns. "Why do you like stabbing?" he queried. Valkyrie choked on her drink, while Thor snorted.
"It is an effective technique for dispatching enemies. We have already discussed that I shouldn't have used it on everyone. Thor, I apologize for stabbing you so much through the years. The method may be good for enemies, but it was a poor way of working out my feelings."
Thor was nonplussed at receiving an apology from Loki. "No harm done, mostly. The harm seems to have come to you. I am so glad to see you growing as a person, to see you so obviously happy. If I'd known you were here, I'd have brought a gift."
"Same, Brother. There is no need. Having you here is the only gift I need."
"For me, too. My family is a gift beyond measure." The God of Thunder lifted his glass of Glogg. "I'd like to propose a toast. To family- biological, adopted, chosen- may the alcohol run out long before the love."
"Hear, hear!" came the chorus.
Loki glanced at his wrapped gift next to me. "Your turn, my dear." I tore into the box to reveal a traditional Asgardian noblewoman's dress in green. "Oh Loki, it's exquisite. I used to dream of owning a dress like this. I'd lie in my cot," the weeping began," dreaming of you, of somehow impressing you in elegant gowns, of being an aristocrat, rather than a maid."
"How many times have I advised you, you are no longer a servant? You are lovelier, livelier, more intelligent, and infinitely kinder than any of the Ladies with whom I'd have been expected to make a match. Thor didn't like them, either. He fell for a Midgardian." Thor nodded. "I've become convinced that Mother knew it, too. We've both puzzled over why she risked Father's displeasure to sneak you into the dungeon and pointedly tell me about you. This is it, Sjofn. Mother was matchmaking. As always, she'd thought through what she was doing, and she did it well."
Thor passed a tissue from the box on the end table beside him. "Loki is absolutely right that you are more noble than many a Lady with that title. In New Asgard, titled nobility matters much less, anyway. I wasn't aware of this about Mother, but she rarely went against my father. If she did so, she had a purpose in mind. Perhaps she was going to have Father elevate you to nobility at some point, if she thought you were worthy. Wear the dress with all the pride and grace you possess, Sjofn."
My baby tugged on my hand. "May I please put on my armor now? You can put on your dress, and Pappa can wear his helmet. Please?"
I tussled my son's curls. "Yes, my sweet." With a whoop, Njord raced to his room with his outfit. Loki followed, to help. I took my gown to my bedroom to change. The problem with aristocrats was that they needed us servants to dress them. I got the frock on yet couldn't hook it. I stuck my head around the doorjamb.
Thor noticed me. I thought he'd send Valkyrie, but he jumped up and knocked on Njord's door. "Brother, I'll get Njord into the armor. You go assist Sjofn."
My love joined me, stealing kisses and light caresses before fastening my dress. We all returned to the living room. Loki reaffixed his helmet. Korg suggested a picture. The sofa was moved back to make space. I set the timer on my phone camera, adjusting its position on the mantel to fit everyone into the shot. Thor proposed one of just him with Loki's family. Valkyrie snapped it, along with another of the Asgardian brothers alone, then the brothers with Njord. I got a photo of Loki and Njord. My love snapped one of Njord and me.
The rest of the furniture was moved aside to allow Thor and Loki to demonstrate rudimentary Asgardian warrior skills, which my boy copied. I videoed some of the proceedings. When the overgrown boys got caught up in their demonstrations, I had to call a halt. I wasn't certain I'd have had a home left if I'd let them continue! We rearranged again to set up card tables and board games. We played until we were hungry once more. Leftovers were reheated and enjoyed. Conversation flowed after supper while Njord played.
My most dreaded moment came. "Njord, my sweet, bath time."
"No."
"Yes. We'll get it over with quickly."
"But Mamma," came the wheedling tone, "I didn't get dirty."
"You've been jumping around all day. I know we haven't had much of a routine, but you're going to have your bath."
The little boy scrunched up his face in a scowl. "I don't want to."
"I understand that. I didn't say you have to like it. Go gather your pajamas."
"No!" he shouted.
I took a cleansing breath. "I'm going to count to three. If you don't choose to go to your room, you will be taken there. One." The child crossed his arms over his chest, sticking his bottom lip out mulishly. "Two." He stomped his foot and growled. "Three." I stood. The screaming began.
Loki rose. "Let me." He picked up the screeching boy, throwing Njord over his shoulder, and took him to the bedroom. I desperately wanted to go after them, but Loki would have to figure out how to discipline his son. I wouldn't undermine his authority or embarrass him in front of friends. Screaming continued from behind the wall, interspersed with the deep cadence of the man's voice. A boom echoed when an object struck the wall, then silence. A few beats later, the low voice sounded again, seemingly unruffled. In minutes, the little boy and the man marched toward the bathroom, sniffles punctuating Njord's steps. Loki appeared unfazed.
Thor shook his head in disbelief as running water could be heard. "If I hadn't seen this with my own eyes, I wouldn't have believed it possible. Loki handled that just as our father used to when we threw tantrums."
I smiled. "Please don't tell him that!" Thor grinned.
Soon, Loki returned to the living room, carrying Njord. The child had his head buried in his father's neck. They settled in the recliner. Njord would peek out every few minutes. Finally, he climbed down to go sit in Thor's lap. Another fifteen minutes elapsed. My son descended to the floor to shuffle over to me. His face was streaked with tears. "What's wrong, Sweet?"
"I want to sit on Pappa's lap and on Uncle Thor's lap because they're both going to leave tomorrow," he murmured.
"I think we can fix that." I asked Korg, sitting to my left on the couch, "Would you mind switching places with Loki? You might find the larger chair more comfortable."
"Oh, sure," the Kronan answered affably.
Loki came to plop himself on the middle cushion. "Would you move a little closer to Thor?" I persuaded. Both men were confused but did as bid. "Now, Njord, get on Pappa's leg closest to Uncle Thor. Twist your body around so you can swing your legs across your uncle's leg." Loki snaked his arm around his son's middle, while Thor propped his hand on his nephew's leg. The boy lay his head on his dad's shoulder. All three looked content. I leaned over to whisper in my prince's ear, "Rub his back." He did. Our child was asleep within ten minutes. One last precious photograph.
While my love tucked our son in bed, I prepared tea, coffee, and cocoa. I beckoned Loki when he exited the boy's bedroom. Softly, I inquired, "Would you like for me to invite Thor for breakfast tomorrow?"
He nodded and kissed my cheek. "Thank you."
"Of course." We carried the tea tray out. The evening wound down and our friends were donning their coats. Thor carried the tray back to the kitchen with me. "Loki has to go back with Dr. Strange tomorrow, mid-morning. Will you join us for a family breakfast at eight?"
"I don't want to intrude on your goodbyes."
"He wants you to come. I made certain before I extended the invitation."
Thor's blue eyes lit up like sapphires. "Then I will be here promptly!"
I grinned. "Good! I look forward to our family meal. I'm so happy you showed up just when Loki was here to visit. I'm glad to see you myself, but I've been waiting so long to see you brothers reunite. My heart is full to bursting right now."
Loki's phone rang. "Hello?...Oh, hi Bucky…Yes, I have a moment…" He went to my bedroom.
"Bucky? Barnes? As in, the Winter Soldier?"
"Yes. Do you know him? I was under the impression you'd never encountered him until the Battle of Wakanda, and even then, just fought on the same side but never spoke."
"Correct. I again saw him at Stark's funeral. I only know what I've heard from the other Avengers. How does Loki know him?"
"They met through Bruce Banner. He's met many of those who were allies during the Infinity War. He and Bucky seem to have forged a friendship and Bucky has been like a mentor to him through rehabilitation. He's been very good for Loki. To my knowledge, Loki never had a friend of his own. Am I wrong?"
Thor was bemused. "No, you aren't. That never occurred to me. He was always there with me and my friends and I assumed that's what he wanted. Now that I think on it, though, he was bullied by other kids. Maybe he stayed close on the grounds that he knew I'd protect him. And then he had no one else…"
"Hm. I think so. Anyway, I'm glad he has someone who has chosen to invest in him and see the potential. Someone, moreover, to whom he can relate." Thor agreed.
The bedroom door opened. Loki stepped out, looking pensive and gratified. "I have a job offer." All eyes in the place focused on him. "Dr. Strange hosted those left of the New Avengers and others that fought in the Infinity War alongside them or your Avengers," he began, looking to Thor. "Pepper Potts was there. She wished to rebuild the Training Facility to hold and house the New Avengers and any who may join the team. The scale would be smaller, funded by a trust, managed jointly by her and Stark's bodyguard, Hogan. The meeting was mostly about what was necessary for the rebuild, the goals of the new group, and who/how they'd be managed. I was dragged to what I considered a very boring council by the Sorcerer. I figured I was there to give a villain's perspective of what was needed to fight effectively. Those were most of the questions I was asked. Bucky was there. He just called to inform me it had partially been an interview, and he was extending a job offer on behalf of these New New Avengers to join them. More details to come if I am interested."
I wasn't sure what this would mean for us or our family. "Are you interested?"
"Enough to get the details. I'll learn more once I'm back in Sweden."
"Congratulations, Brother! You'll make a fine defender of Midgard! The God of Thunder boomed. "Did you tell them about Get Help?"
"Shhh! You'll wake my son!" Loki rolled his eyes. "I'm not telling anyone about Get Help. I hate it. It's humiliating. And believe me, I see the irony. Hopefully, I can make some amends."
"I'm proud to call you my brother, Loki." Thor grabbed his brother into a crushing hug. Loki sent me a pained look.
Our guests departed, Loki and I tidied up, and cuddled up on the couch. He ran his hands over my arms and across my back. I lifted my face to meet his lips. He tasted delicious. His kiss grew insistent and my mouth opened. I had been exhausted moments before, now I was alert and aroused. I wanted him so badly. I desired his body in the most intimate connection but also his heart. A thought hammered its way into my consciousness. I wanted the all the attachment and ties this day had represented to me. I yearned for marriage, not playing at domesticity. I drew back, shaken.
Loki's teal orbs glowed with ardor in the lamplight. "Are you alright? Is something wrong?"
"I…L…I'm afraid. Afraid this won't last. That…," I searched for the right words, "that my expectations are too high, that we won't make it. I'm probably just overtired, thinking too much. I'm sorry. I need to go to bed. I'm still not ready. I'll get sheets and a blanket for the sofa." I ducked my head and sped off to the linen closet. I was acutely aware of his disappointment. I felt immensely guilty for leaving him frustrated. I couldn't keep up this idea of maybe we'd marry, maybe we'd be a family. I wanted it all. I couldn't tell him. Too much was uncertain. Would he join the Avengers? Would we have to leave Norway? Would Dr. Strange release him? He had so much to think about and sort through, I couldn't shove my longings into the mix. I didn't want to burden him, only those yearnings were becoming increasingly insistent. I decided to make an appointment with my therapist. I brought the linens to my poor prince. "I'm so sorry. I love you, Loki. I love you so much." I practically ran to my room.
I awoke cold and lonely. Sleep had not eased my aching heart. I left the warmth of my bed for the bathroom. As I passed Njord's bedroom, I heard voices inside. My son had gone to his father for attention upon waking. He'd always come to crawl into bed with me on days like this. I was thrilled that our boy had his father, that they were bonding, that Loki truly loved his child. Still, I almost felt resentful that it was so easy for Njord to accept this limbo, to enjoy the relationship without the worries. I whimpered in the solitariness of the sterile white tile of my bathroom. I washed my hands and headed back to my nest of bedcovers, shivering. I was at the entry to my room when I heard Njord's little voice. "Mamma, may I come get in bed with you?"
"Aren't you with your dad?" I kept my back to him so he wouldn't see that I'd been weeping.
"Yes. I snuggled with Pappa, but I want to snuggle with you, too."
I pivoted. Loki was standing behind our son in his boxers, studying me warily. "Of course, you may, Sweet. Do you want to join us?" I invited my love.
"Are you sure?' he questioned.
"Yes. We don't have much time before we'll need to get ready for Thor."
"Uncle Thor is coming back?"
"Yes, he's coming for breakfast," I informed the child.
"Cool!"
I nestled back under my bedcovers for warmth, while my guys lay with the covers only pulled to the waist.
"Mamma, aren't you hot?"
"No, I'm cold."
"It isn't cold. I asked Pappa. He said he gets hot at night in jammies or under covers, so he wears his underwear. I get hot, too. Do I have to wear jammies? Pappa told me to ask you."
I assumed their Jotun DNA made them feel overly warm. "Only if you have friends over or sleep at a friend's house. What you choose to wear or not wear at home is up to you."
"Yay!" the child squeaked. He tore off his shirt and shorts, tossing them to the end of the bed, lying in his undies. His father and I chuckled. He lay atop the quilt for a few minutes, then stuck his feet under, pulling it back to his waist. He settled down, closing his eyes. "I wish we could stay like this forever." His wistful tone made me want to snivel again.
"Me too," his pappa confessed, placing a kiss on his curls.
"Me three." All my longings and desires came to the fore. The energy bond crackled.
"Sjofn," Loki breathed hoarsely, "will you marry me?"
He wanted it, too. My heart soared. I broke into a slow smile that widened and beamed. "Oh, yes, my love."
Our son whooped and flipped onto his stomach. "Does that mean Pappa will live with us?" he eagerly inquired.
"Or we'll go live with him. He might have a job somewhere other than Norway."
"I'll have to leave my barneskole and friends to be with Pappa?"
His dad conveyed soothingly, "We don't know yet. There are a lot of details to work out before we can marry or live together. And don't forget that I know magic. If there is a way to continue your schooling and maintain your playdates, I promise we will find it." Mollified, the boy snuggled back down for the next half hour.
We finally began getting ready to quarter to eight. Thor was due soon, so I threw on a pair of fleece leggings and a cozy sweater quickly, pulled my hair into a ponytail, and took ingredients from my fridge to start breakfast. Njord stationed himself at the front window to watch for his uncle. When the God of Thunder arrived, the child threw open the entry, screeching, "Uncle Thor, Uncle Thor, guess what, guess what?"
"I can't guess what you might have this enthusiastic when morning has just broken. What do you have to tell me?" the blond man queried.
"Mamma and Pappa are getting married!"
"What?!" Thor's face split in a grin. "That's wonderful! I'm so happy for you both- and you, too, Nephew!" He advanced on his brother, obviously intent on a hug. Loki snatched a stack of plates on the counter to carry to the table. Instead, Thor swung Njord in the air.
"Thank you. We are thrilled, as you can see," slewing his eyes toward our son. "We don't know when, yet. Timing will depend on the job and the wizard. I am eager, though. I want to be with my wife and son for more than two days."
We seated ourselves and tucked into a hearty breakfast. We speculated on what the job offer could entail, whether we'd need to move to New York, and how we could keep Njord in Norwegian schools. Loki confessed that could teleport and knew the theory behind how to take someone with him but had never tried taking another person along. Thor suggested practicing with animals. Sound theory, though like everything else, would depend on Dr. Strange permitting the practice.
Breakfast was cleared and I sent Njord to play in his room to give Loki and Thor some privacy. I moved to join my son. I was invited to stay. Loki cleared his throat nervously. "Thor, I must thank you for taking care of my family when I was not here to do so. Sjofn shared with me all you did to get her good care and an education through the Avengers, who despised me for my crimes. Yet, by your goodwill, they fed, housed, and sent her for job training. You clothed her, bought this house, and paid for furniture when she returned to New Asgard. I know you have Mother's sense of devotion to family. I am grateful that you consider Sjofn, along with your nephew, family. But my bride-to-be supposes, and I concur, that you did all this for me, as well. Even when I had died. That same devotion meant you never gave up on me, sometimes when you tried. I am not only proud to call you Brother, but I also want you to hear me say out loud, 'I love you, Thor'."
Thor's eyes were awash. "I never wanted to be better than you. I longed for the day you'd realize that, yet several times despaired that it would come. Each time I thought you'd died it was a massive blow to my gut. On The Statesman, though, I was truly crushed. We'd made some headway, then you died to stop Thanos from killing me. I always knew my real brother was still in there. I felt enormous guilt that I couldn't save you or anyone else. I don't care what version you are; you are my brother. I love you." The men embraced with a ferocity that almost surprised me.
I rose to spring Njord from his room. He skipped around the couch to see the brothers still holding onto one another. My laptop in the corner rang with the request for a video call from Kjersti. "Hi! Did you all have a fun Yule celebration?"
"We did. Finn has something he is bursting at the seams to share with Njord. He just couldn't wait. Stay in the picture, though," my friend giggled. I sat in my desk chair, propping my son on my knee. Finn's pale face appeared with Kjersti behind. "Njord! Guess what? I'm going to have a little sister in June! I'm going to be a big brother!"
"Wow! What are you going to do with a little sister?" my boy wanted to know.
"I don't know, yet. Maybe I can teach her letters or something. I can push her stroller to the shops. Mamma says I can make faces at her, so she'll laugh," the other child stated.
"That's cool! I have to tell you something, too. My Mamma and Pappa are getting married! Pappa's going to live with us but maybe not in Norway." Njord hopped on the floor in excitement.
"You're leaving?" Finn's face fell.
"Whoa, my sweet, you're getting ahead of yourself. Finn, we are doing what we can to keep Njord in school here. His pappa may be working somewhere else. We'll see. I'm so happy for your expanding family! I was worried that you couldn't seem to shake your illness, Kjersti. Now we know why. Are you feeling better?"
"It gets better every day. I can get out for short periods now. I despaired of leaving my house for a while there. Knud has been an immense help around the house, cooking, and keeping Finn occupied. It's been much worse than I had with Finn. I miss you! We obviously need to catch up. Did your fiancée propose yesterday?"
"This morning! Loki came and stayed overnight. And when our friends came for dinner yesterday, Thor was with them! He's been here again since breakfast. We're having a small family reunion. I had no idea this Yule would be so full of surprises!" The boys were practicing making faces for the baby while Kjersti and I chatted.
"I'm happy for you, too. Truly, I am. We won't keep you from your family. We'll talk later."
"How about tomorrow? I'll give Knud a break. I'll do some cleaning or laundry or whatever you need, then make us all supper. What can you eat?"
"Thank you, that would be lovely! Anything simple is good. Sodd or Lapskaus stew."
"Great! I'll see you tomorrow. Njord, tell Finn goodbye."
"Bye, Finn! I'll show you my Yule presents tomorrow, okay?"
"Okay. Me too. Bye, Njord!"
I hadn't even risen from my chair when Njord screeched out, "Pappa, when you and Mamma get married, will I get a little brother or sister?" I waited with bated breath for the answer.
"I don't know, Son. Your mother and I will have to talk about it." I left my desk to resume my place by the sofa. "Do you want a brother or sister?"
Now he'd done it. Anything might come spilling out of our child's mouth. "Oh, yes! I want a brother and we can be like you and Uncle Thor. But I won't stab him." Loki's jaw dropped. I schooled my expression to polite interest. Thor had an all-out coughing fit. I traipsed to the kitchen for a glass of water.
Loki gathered himself and responded, "You'll be a good brother, Njord." As the boy clambered up to sit next to him, his father turned slightly toward his own sibling, whom he'd just professed to love, and protested, sotto voce, "You might still want to stab your brother occasionally." Thor grabbed his water glass as he choked again.
We enjoyed another lazy hour together, with Njord chattering away and flitting from Loki's lap, to Thor's, back and forth, repeatedly. A fiery ring appeared in my living room, through which stepped Dr. Strange. "Hello, Wizard," Thor greeted him.
"Thor. I wasn't aware you were back."
"Please, sit for a moment," I invited the Sorcerer Supreme. He lowered himself into a lounge chair.
"We were cruising close to Earth and Quill mentioned it was Christmastime, which coincides with our Yule holiday. The Guardians dropped me off to surprise Sjofn and my nephew, but I got quite the shock, too."
"I'm certain you did. However, I have closed all the extra timelines, so there should be no more shocks of that nature. Will you be here for a prolonged stay?"
"No, I leave later today."
"I hope you've had a pleasurable stay."
"Quite. I'll have to drop in more often."
Njord danced over to the doctor. "Dr. Strange, guess what?"
"I don't know. What, Njord?"
"My mamma and pappa are going to get married and Pappa might get a job!"
"I do know about the job, but marriage, hum? Congratulations and best wishes." The man gave me a penetrating stare.
I stared back. "Thank you."
"Have you thought about a date?"
"No," Loki spoke up. "We need to settle other details first." He managed to infuse all the frost of his Frost Giant DNA into his tone. Dr. Strange was unaffected.
"Actually, we may need to discuss some things with you. Can you meet with us on Friday?" I proposed.
"Yes, that won't be a problem. Thor, will you be coming back for the wedding?"
"Of course. I wouldn't miss it for the world. Why do you ask?"
"You might want to make a plan on how to relay the date."
"They'll tell me."
Strange just nodded. "I'm truly sorry to break up the family gathering. I have to take you back now, Loki."
Njord put his hand on the sorcerer's knee. "When are you going to stop taking my pappa away?" His little voice shook with lament.
"Soon, I hope, Njord. I don't like taking him from you. I hope you can be together after your Pappa has a job. Okay?"
Our boy nodded then went to his father to cling to him for a minute. "I love you, Pappa. Please get a job soon so you don't have to leave. You don't have to give me Yule presents anymore, and I'll be good all the time, if you'll stay with me." He buried his face in the hair lying on Loki's shoulders.
The man cupped the child's head in his palm, brushing his lips against his son's temple. "I'll do everything I can so we can live together, and I can be here for you," Loki promised in a ragged voice. "I love you, my son. And your mother, too." I wrapped my arms around them both, then took my boy into my arms. My love kissed me tenderly, giving me a squeeze. The Asgardian princes hugged, too. Dr. Strange conjured a portal and they were gone.
My baby was growing rapidly, and I couldn't hold him any longer. Thor took the child, settling into the recliner while sniffles and whimpers punctuated the silence. Fifteen minutes or so passed when finally, Njord sat up. "Are you leaving, too, Uncle Thor?"
"Later today. Not just yet."
"Will you play with me?"
"What do you want to play?"
Njord considered. "Will you show me more warrior moves?" Thor looked to me for approval. I nodded. He moved the sofa to work with the boy. They 'trained' until lunchtime. We ate a small meal then Thor had to depart. Njord snuffled a bit, still, after giving his uncle a tight hug, he let the God of Thunder go. My son and I spent a lazy afternoon watching TV. We were both in the doldrums. That night, Njord slept in my bed.
