A/N: hi. ahead are spoilers for season 1 attack on titan/shingeki no kyojin so just be warned. there are mentions of death as well.

all characters in this story belong to hajime isayama. im simply just writing a fic to kind of vent my feelings and kill time.

this is set in the battle of trost, more specifically around the time where everyone found out eren was'dead'.this story is more annie central, basically following her POV with strong hints of ereani!

enjoy :D


She tried to stay away. Tried to avoid him, but how could she when he was the only one who treated her like a normal girl?

Though she was not a normal girl, even before she was experimented on - forced to become a monster.

Everyday was the same, to wake up and train. Train until her legs bled and the skin of her hands would scrape off. She didn't care. She didn't know anything else. No ones life had value, not even her own. It fascinated her, how much she didn't care even if she wanted to.

It was to the point where pain was wanted. Pain was the only thing she could really feel and remember. Even when her father had told her she had done enough for the day, she wouldn't stop. She felt like she had something to prove to the world, that she could be enough.

She would stare done at the remnants of the now crushed grasshopper, she was unaffected by her actions. It wasn't something new, she had always taken the lives of insects, the small and the weak. It was just another life, like her own. Just to feel control, anything that could confirm her own humanity.

Life is meaningless. Life is nothing.

"Annie promise me... that you'll come back!"

Why?

"Even if the world hates you, I'll be on your side."

No.

She wasn't anything more than a warrior, a monster. Even so, how could her father love what she was?

He knew she was human. And she thought that.. maybe she could find value in life. Her father's life. Her promise.

"I promise."


Marcel.

She hated herself for caring. When, why did she start caring?

Mina.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry" Her apologises remained useless, but she repeated them anyway.

Mina was one of the other very few people in her life who actually cared and wanted her to interact with more people.

Marco.

"Someone help--!"

She heard his screams, so she rushed in his direction to help. But what greeted her eyes was not a titan about to eat him but instead reality.

"What's this.. all about?" She landed shakily onto the roof in the front of the poor, freckled boy being helplessly pinned by her warrior comrades.

"Annie! Help me! Reiner's acting crazy!" He had no idea about what she was and it really broke her to know she'd have to choose her comrades over Marco. No, she was choosing her father. Her promise.

"He heard our conversation. We can't let him live."

It was inevitable. But she was so tired. So tired of fighting.

"Anne! Take off Marco's ODM gear! Do it fast!"

"Why.. do I have to?!" She asked. Demanded. She wasn't talking to Reiner. She was asking the world. Asking why she had to be a monster worse than the devil. A trail of death and betrayal followed her wherever she went.

"If you, and your father waiting for you to come home, are any different from this evil race then prove it to me right now!"

She knew that already. She wanted him to shut up. She didn't need Reiner to tell her. She knew it all too well. She grit her teeth, beginning to take off his ODM gear, his screams reached her ears, begging for his life, just wanting to know why she had done this.

But she couldn't answer, knowing he couldn't have understood, no one could. Maybe not even Reiner and Bertholdt. It was almost humorous, the cold and stoic girl was now shaking her head on the verge of breaking down.

Once again she questioned herself, her life. Why Marco? He was innocent, he wanted to bring good. A person, humane.

She shook her head in denial as the titans teeth made contact with his skull. It shouldn't have mattered, but it did. It did as his cries left her silently shedding tears.

She could feel the tears staining her eyes red. But she knew she had Eren and if he was fine, she could keep going even if she was going to go insane by the time she was done. Even when Marco's death left her with nightmares that haunted her, pushed her even more to the edge. More blood is left on her hands, how much more will it take to keep her promise.

Eren.

Present time - Battle of Trost

She caused this. If she hadn't attacked the walls, Eren could still be alive. He could be with his mother, he told her everyday about how much he missed his mother's stew and her soothing voice that lulled him to sleep. He didn't know that Annie was indirectly the cause of her death as well which added onto her inner turmoil.

She didn't cry though. Couldn't. How could she when she had lost half of what had made her recognise herself as human. But she could remember, the grin he'd give her whenever he floored Jean in the training grounds. That smile. That determination and pride. The relief on his face when she told him she would be going to the military police. She tried, so hard to get him to join her. Annie knew this day was yet to come.

Even from the beginning where it had all started..

"If you like that technique so much.." she mumbled.

Annie sighed as she couldn't stop the smile from playing on her lips, slowly averting her gaze to him. Her sapphire orbs meeting his emerald ones.

"Maybe I could teach it to you?

She sounded almost hopeful, and maybe she was.

He was always smiling, intrigued by her. Eager to learn from her.

And it was that same feeling again, to feel human. How could he make her feel like that? All the others in the training corps acted as if they could sense that she was a monster even if they didn't know for sure but Eren... he didn't care. He was attracted to her like a magnet, a dog following its beloved owner.

At first she thought it was only her skills and knowledge in martial arts but then she grew to learn it was more. He'd tell her about his mother and his old home in Shiganshina which even promoted herself to eventually open up and tell him about her father and the pain that was endured. Even though she couldn't actually tell him about her mission, it was enough for her.

But even after she taught him everything she could for three whole years, it clearly wasn't enough because now Armin's cries had reached her ears and she knew, that was the sound of her doing. What she had done.

She felt something wet drop onto her hand. They better move soon before the rainfall gets heavier and they lose their footing. But when she looked up at the sky it was clear, with not a single drop of rain in the air.

As she slowly moved her hand upon her face, her eyes widened in realisation as she felt the warm tears marked onto her cheeks. How funny, she was actually crying over that suicidal bastard.


3 years ago

"Actually, where does your dad live?"

It was pretty often that they talked like this. On their way to or from the training grounds side-by-side with the back of their fingers slightly brushing against each other's.

He would always be glancing at her even if he wasn't speaking, as if he wanted to capture all the details of her face into his mind, genuinely curious with everything about her. She'd do the opposite, staring blankly at the ground while only sometimes briefly responding to him, he didn't care though.

He knew she was keeping things to herself that were unbearable and just wanted her to experience something that wasn't so lonely for once, "How old is your dad turning this year?"

Annie remained silent.

"What does he look like, he's your adoptive dad right? So he probably doesn't look too much like you. Does he have blond hair like y--?"

"Eren."

She finally looked up at him and seeing the clueless look on his face almost made her want to giggle, which was entirely uncharacteristic of her but this raven-haired boy made her want to do all the things she didn't.

"Stop trying to study me like I'm a book. I-I'm.. just a person.."

He stopped moving, causing her to pace ahead of him, but she came to a stop when she heard him voice such an earnest tone that greatly contrasted the previous one.

"No. You are Annie Leonhardt. The girl I care about and who claims to be fragile but can in fact can beat everyone's ass." He dropped his serious facade and grinned as she turned around to frown at him "And... I want to get to know you better."

fin


A/N: Well, this was so depressingly fun to write, kinda wanted to vent a bit. This was probably the worst disgusting angst-ish fic you've ever read before and I agree. I'm not sure what I'm doing but I do know that I ship Ereani too hard and I need to get a grip on my life before it takes over.

Also I know Eren was actually alive but this is just Annie's feelings after finding out he was dead. I might add more in later to show her point of view of when she found out he was in fact alive and was a titan shifter. yes. more shitty angst :D

also I know this is pretty typical of me to ask but,

I'd really appreciate a review:)it doesn't have to be some long, detailed review! anything is fine and appreciated!

I might be writing more one-shots like this in the future and I want to know where I can improve on or what some people may like to see.

That's all for now, thank you for reading!