All of Barney's loved ones gathered at Springfield Cemetery to mourn their loss. Aside from Barney's friends from Moe's Tavern and high school, notable guests included Barney's Uncle Al, and some of his ex-girlfriends, including Chloe Tabolt and Linda Ronstadt. Reverend Lovejoy began his eulogy as everyone prepared to lay Barney to rest alongside the likes of Bleeding Gums Murphy, Maude Flanders, Enda Krabappel, and Rabbi Hyman Krustofsky.
"Barney Gumble wasn't a perfect man by any means. He had his struggles, battles, and demons, but he wasn't a malicious man either. He always meant well, and he always tried his best, no matter what was thrown at him. He was also a kind man all the same. His outgoing personality won him many friends, and in turn, made so many memories. Those memories will be in our thoughts and memories forever."
Lenny and Carl were sitting next to each other, holding onto each other as they held back tears. Homer tried sipping on a can of Duff during the eulogy, but stopped when he noticed Marge was watching him. He noticed Moe was glaring at him, too. Finally, Barney's coffin was lowered into the ground to be buried as Groundskeeper Willie played "Amazing Grace" on his bagpipes.
"Gah! Why does Willie's best moments have to be at funerals?!" Willie complained to himself.
Visiting hours were at the Simpson house. The guys were in the living room sharing their memories of Barney, while Moe sat in silence.
"I remember when he pretended to be a bull, and I rode on his back for a whole thirty seconds!" Homer said. "I didn't even think Barney could carry me like that. It's amazing what drinking can do to you."
"Yeah, I don't think Moe will ever have another customer like Barney," Carl sighed sadly.
"Yeah. Not even Homer could outdrink Barney," Lenny added.
Moe didn't bother to chime in. He didn't think it was right to talk about Barney's drinking at his own funeral, especially since he could've saved Barney the night he died.
"I don't know about you guys, but I could use a drink myself." Homer said. "It might take my mind off this whole thing. Do you guys want one?"
"Nah, I'm good," Lenny responded.
"Yeah, I'm not in the mood," Carl added.
"Moe?"
Moe had enough. He really didn't want to be there at all, and Homer was just making him even more uncomfortable.
"Nah, I'm heading out. Just remember you guys'll have to do your drinking somewhere else for a while. Don't call me asking me for a beer. I don't want to be responsible for another one of my friends dying," Moe said as he went for the door.
The guys gave each other a look.
"Gee, you'd think he wouldn't want to close the bar," Homer said. "That's how he makes money, right?"
"Nah, we all know he has other ways of getting through," Carl said.
"Yeah. He said he does volunteer driving," Lenny seconded.
What they didn't know was that Moe's volunteer driving was actually him driving prostitutes to their clients.
After all the visitors left, Marge was cleaning up the house as Homer sat on the couch with a beer in his hand. Marge sat down to talk to her husband.
"You know Homer, you don't seem that sad about Barney's death," Marge said.
"What are you talking about Marge?" asked Homer. "Of course I'm sad. I'm just dealing with it in my own way, like how people watch Jerry Springer to make them feel better about themselves."
"Well, you say he was your best friend, but it doesn't seem like you two had a lot in common besides drinking. That doesn't sound like a bond pair of best friends have."
"Every friendship is different Marge. David Spade didn't even go to Chris Farley's funeral after he drank himself to death, and they were best friends."
"It was drugs that killed him, Homer."
"It was an overdose."
"Which can be caused by alcohol or drugs."
"D'OH!"
"It just seems like there was nothing else to your friendship other than drinking. I'd think there'd be more to it since you called him your best friend."
Homer gave it some thought. He really didn't know.
"Gee, Marge. We've been drinking for so long, I might've forgotten what else we could've shared. But it's not like alcohol could've had anything to do with that," Homer finally said.
Marge just groaned. She could see that alcohol might've caused Homer to forget what else made him and Barney best friends.
