Disclaimer: I'm too young to be Rowling, so Harry Potter sadly cannot be mine…

List of names :

The Black King: Voldemort – who else?

The White King: Dumbledore

Petunia (oldest sibling), also known as: Caspet or C.P.

Ris (the second oldest brother and older twin), also known as: Rissy-Ris-Ris or sometimes SOB-story, drama-queen, (Severus Snape) or S.O.

Rus (third oldest and younger twin), also known as: Severus Snape or P.T. from Perseus Tobias

Res (youngest sibling), also known as: R.A.; Unspeakable; Is listed as dead since 1979.

Now on with the story:

OoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooseriouslyooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooseriouslyooooooooooooooooooooooooooO

LETTERS UNTIL CHRISTMAS

sSs

Hogwarts

Some time shortly after the first Quidditch-match.

A Letter to Res and the result

Res

Research Quirrell. Need information about his sabbatical as soon as possible. Something's strange there. He tried to kill Harry.

P.T. and S.O. (which had been crossed out and corrected by a different handwriting to 'Rissy-Ris-Ris' which had again been crossed out by the original handwriting and replaced by 'S.O.')

SsSsSsSsSs

Go into hiding! Didn't mean to but told Caspet.

R.A.

SsSsSsSsSs

PERSEUS TOBIAS!

I told you to PROTECT Harry – so why do I hear from Res that you gave a teacher the opportunity to KILL him?! I will hunt you down personally if you ever let your eyes wander off of him again! How could you convince me to let him play QUIDDITCH?! He will be out of the team today! Do you understand me, Perseus Tobias?!

C.P.

SsSsSsSsSs

I definitely did not convince you to let Harry play Quidditch, Caspet. If you want to blame anyone, blame the nice twin.

P.T.

SsSsSsSsSs

I convinced the White King to let me referee the next Quidditch match, after all that happened. And it was my fault that Harry is playing as a Seeker now. You can't stop Harry playing Quidditch. Or have you forgotten that you do not care about Harry the slightest?

Sorry that you thought it was Russy-Rus-Rus…

Rissy-Ris-Ris (the name had been crossed out by a different handwriting and replaced by 'S.O.' which had again been replaced by 'Rissy-Ris-Ris' in the original hand. Added to the letter was a clearly confused P.S.)

PS: Why does my brother keep correcting my name?!

Ris

(added to that was another sentence in the brother's hand)

Because you always go over my letters and do it as well, dunderhead!

P.T.

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The answer to the letter – not to the question at the end – was a Howler that shook the receiver's bedroom so much that he was convinced a hurricane had been imbedded in it. Thank Merlin for silencing charms…

Of course the blame for the howling Howler – as C.P. wouldn't have been able to do it without help – was further revenge by the evil twin so there really was a chance that the Howler had been imbedded with a hurricane…

(vvv)xxx(vvv)xxx(vvv)xxx(vvv)xxx(vvv)xxx(vvv)xxx(vvv)xxx(vvv)xxx(vvv)xxx(vvv)xxx(vvv)xxx(vvv)xxx

Hogwarts

Some time shortly before Christmas

A Letter to Harry

To my beloved nephew Harry,

Please remember that there is no way for you to come home at Christmas. It would be suspicious if you would (want to) return. So please find something to do at the castle.

Keep out of trouble.

Your loving

Aunt Petunia

SsSsSsSsSs

Dear Auntie Caspet,

I know that there is no way I will be able to return home. I handed my presents for you to the evil twin-uncle. He promised to forward it to you on Christmas Day.

Don't worry. I don't plan to wreak havoc. Hermione wants us to research something so I might have to find a way in the restricted section but that definitely doesn't count as getting into trouble. After all the good and even the evil twin-uncle did far more in their time in Hogwarts and it did not count as trouble.

There is also the fact, that Christmas is the best opportunity for me to explore the rest of the castle. Is there anything I should be aware of? Can you asked the uncles if there is anything I should know?

Also, I forgot to ask about my broom: Did you somehow sent it or was it really y Head of House who bought it? And if it was my Head of House, was it sponsored by the school or did she take the money out of my Trust Vault? Facts, please.

Now to the main propose of this letter: updating facts of everyone.

Weasley, Ronald (called Ron): still not sure about him. He's a bigot and hates Slytherin with passion – good thing he doesn't know he's talking to a Slytherin to the boot! (Insert evil laughter there hahaha!) He's very good at chess, but also not interested in learning at all. I bet I would be not even a mediocre student if I'd follow his lead. (Hurray for detentions in the dungeons!) He is hot headed but seems unable to keep a secret for too long – I'm definitely sure that if he would really spy on me actively (with him knowing, that is) I would know by now. He has no acting skills at all. Still, could be used as a spy by his parents. Not sure about what he writes home. I will try to find out about that and about his family's stance until then I will keep you up to date.

Granger, Hermione: definitely a little Miss Know-It-All. She has proven that since beginning of the year. Had no friends, even in the Muggle world. Teachers pet, doesn't want to break rules, like at all. The setting changed since Hallowe'en. She lied to the teachers about the troll, said she was searching for it and we (Ron and I) followed her to stop her. Don't know why she lied at all. It's not as if crying in the bathroom because a lazy git is calling you names in your face (Ron!) is prohibited. Well, Gryffindor thing, I guess. No way to understand them fully. Back to the topic: she's started to follow us around since then. I'll keep you informed.

PS: Her parents are dentists. Check them?

Malfoy, Draco: two words: midnight duel. Turns out, Draky-poo is a daddy's boy. Daddy this, daddy that. Git. Don't understand how this dense person ended up in Slytherin. No cunning at all, just daddy and a loud mouth. Bully. He tries very hard to be enemy No 1, not that he's able to get that placement. The Black King was first, Draky-poo was too late. Well, I'll try to keep away from him but I might prank him… just once… or twice… or…, you know. Because it's him. Because he is a git. Because… well, I'll watch him and keep you informed if he turns out to be more than a git.

Longbottom, Neville: Gryffindor, very shy. Forgets a lot. Awful in potions. Brilliant in Herbology. I'll try to get friendly with him. Could you research his family. He said something about being thrown out of a window or some such. Maybe my favourite uncle has to visit his family sometime… Information, please.

Thomas, Dean: Gryffindor No 2. Best friends with Seamus. Maybe Muggle-born, maybe half-blood. Something about a vanished father. (Does the good twin-uncle want to tell us something? No, kidding, sorry.) Don't have a lot to do with him, he's not interested in me, so I'll just keep an eye out but it should be fine.

Finnegan, Seamus: Gryffindor No 3. Half-blood with a witch mother who told his father after marriage. Loves (?!) to blow things up. Same like Dean for the rest.

Well, now you know my dorm. Should be enough to tell you I'm fine and in no danger. I'll look into the girls of my year, now, with Hermione, it should be easy to get information on them.

To the teachers:

I acted towards McGonagall, Flitwick and Sprout like planed. They don't suspect anything, I think.

Quirrell's odd. My scar hurts when I've classes with him, also it took me some time to understand it was my scar and not a headache. Information, please? Instructions? Definitely don't know what to do with him…

The White King: Not seen, not heard, no report at all. Well, he's shown that he's barmy at the feast at the beginning of the year, but I knew that before, so nothing new at that front. (Why did he tell us about the third corridor again?!)

Snape, Severus: I think he hates me even more now, after I deliberately sabotaged every potion I brewed so far. Are you proud of me? Anyway, he's a spiteful, blind, self-centred git. I love him! I definitely want another detention with him as soon as possible! (Stop laughing, Uncle Res, it's the truth – and no, I'm not pouting just now!)

Anyway, I'll keep you informed if he does something stupid… like getting hurt at Hallowe'en and not treating the wound until the day after…

Anyway, I hope you're all well.

Give my love to the uncles and Dud.

Merry Christmas!

Harry

SsSsSsSsSs

Harry James Potter!

You plan to break into the restricted section of the library and you have the nerve to call it "staying out of trouble"?! If you get caught I will personally make your next summer hell on earth for you!

(Added to that was a different handwriting, this time written in blue instead of the black Harry's aunt had used:) Anyway, on to the more important things –

(The blue ink ended in a jagged line at that and was then replaced by the hand of Harry's aunt, again written in black:) No! Don't listen to your Uncle Res! The planed break-in in the library is important!

(Then the writing returned to Res' hand written in blue:) Yes, anyway, on to the next part of your letter, happy now, Caspet? The castle, important things to know: secret passages out of the castle. Try the One-Eyed witch in the third floor. Password: Dissendium. Leads to Honeydukes. Other secret passages are for you to find and us to know. Ris and Rus also mentioned something about an old parchment and "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good". Do with that whatever you want. For emergencies: There's the portrait of a doe in second floor. Password: Lily Lu Prince. FOR EMERGENCIES ONLY! And of course there is the room. Seventh floor. Trolls dancing ballet. Three times back and forth. No telling anyone! You have no way to know about that one! Well, back to your aunt.

To your inquiry about your broom: yes, the gold was taken out of your vault. Yes, you gave no permission to use your money. Don't worry, I was the one to permit the money to be used for the broom (don't forget: The White King thought it was he who permitted it. He still has the old key to your vault! He'll have a harsh awakening the next time he enters Gringotts. Goblins definitely are not to cross.)

I also checked Hermione Granger's parents. Nothing suspicious there. No Confundus, Imperio or suspicious transactions in their bank account. (Of course it was Rus who checked the spells, not I, so don't you dare to go that way, young man! And it was Rus, not Ris. I would not give Ris an important mission like that, so don't worry.)

Also, about Quirrell: Stay away from him as much as you can! Rus and Ris are trailing him because they thought he started to act odd over the summer. That your scar's hurting near him just adds to our suspicion. Kindly find another victim for all the things he does. We suspect him to be allied to The Black King.

We also guess that The White King is out for a confrontation between you and The Black King.

Ris developed a new ward to be added to the others on your bracelet.

Please find your way to detention with Professor Snape as soon as possible.

Stay put and safe.

Your loving

Aunt Petunia

SsSsSsSsSs

Dear Aunt Petunia

I already found another victim. We (Hermione, Ron and I) are absolutely certain that the one who wanted to kill me during the Quidditch match was no one other than our beloved potion master Professor Snape. Am I not a cunning, little boy?

Harry.

SsSsSsSsSs

Detention, Potter, for using me as a diversion for your friends without telling me.

Professor S. Snape

SsSsSsSsSs

Kindly stop reading letters that have nothing to do with you, Ris. And stop imitating people!

The real Professor Snape

P.T.

SsSsSsSsSs

I wrote the letter on Tuesday. I did not imitate anyone, Russy-Rus-Rus.

The Tuesday-Professor Snape

Rissy-Ris-Ris

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The following Thursday morning a certain letter-thief found himself gagged and bound, with a clowns mask and in his birthday-suit in the middle of Trafalgar Square in London, surrounded by gawking tourists.

A letter was pinned to his chest, reading: "Kindly try to imitate a cobblestone for today. Signed The Real Professor. P.T."

Potion class that day was lectured by Professor Snape. The other Professor Snape.

The children were terrified. Somehow their professor seemed to be more cheerful than ever – and a cheerful Snape couldn't bode well at all.

Ccccc

That's it for today. 'Till next time.