[Can I just say, O.M.G. 7x10 really came at us like that! What a spectacular episode for Upstead. Aside from that damn phone it was perfect. Hailey has finally accepted her feelings for Jay and my heart is ready to burst. As always with this story, here's one of our favorite characters pondering over the episode moments. This is Hailey's view, and hopefully we'll see more from Jay's perspective soon. Thank you all again for all the love you give to this story and for joining me in our Upstead delight!]


Hailey has been sitting in a pool of emotions ever since Will came over with an update.

He's lost a lot of blood…

That one sentence and the look of dread on Jay's brothers' face keeps running through her brain. It's all she can see, that and finding Jay sprawled out in that basement with a pool of blood around him. The team had caught a case forced on them by Crawford hours ago, but there was no way she was leaving, nor would Voight ask her to. She wasn't moving from this hospital until she was sure Jay would be okay, and he would be, because he had to be… she couldn't face the reality of otherwise. She was still completely lost in her thoughts when she saw Vanessa returning and approaching her again.

"Hey, how are you?" Vanessa asks as she hops up to give her a quick hug.

"I'm alright." She responds quickly, at a loss for what else to say.

"I got you some gyro from Greek Islands, thought you might be hungry."

"That's really sweet of you, thanks."

"And I got you some clean clothes from the apartment."

Hailey smiles at her gratefully. "Thank you." She responds, her voice coming out slightly hoarse from her sadness.

"Have we heard anything about Jay?" Vanessa asks as she takes the seat next to her again.

"No." she shakes her head at her roommate.

She takes a beat and then she starts to talk about Jay, needing to assure herself again that he'll be fine and cherishing having a moment to have someone listen.

"He's gonna freak out when he wakes up, the man hates needles. I can't figure him out. He's the first one through the door… a war vet, and he'd rather take a bullet than get the flu shot." She scoffs and bows her head again, getting emotional over her memories of Jay.

"Hailey…" Vanessa starts to say and pause, seeming to choose her words wisely. "I know how hard this must be for you…"

Hailey quickly tries to deflect. "It's always hard when something like this happens."

"It's hard because you love him…" Vanessa bluntly says, the words hanging in the air.

Hailey looks away a second, then smiles sadly. She's not ready for this conversation. If she's being honest, her whole problem with Jay is she hasn't been ready for this conversation for almost three years now. Through their entire partnership, his fiasco with Camilla, them becoming each other's best friend and confidant, him getting shot the first time, her sleeping with Adam, their partnership almost getting broken up by Kelton, and now… she still hasn't been ready to admit or accept her true feelings for Jay, so she does her best to deflect again, even though she's certain the whole unit sees right through her now.

"Of course I love him, he's my partner!"

Hailey watches as Vanessa looks at her like she wants to call her bluff, but realizes Hailey needs her to stay silent. Luckily for her, both of their work phones buzz.

"Ruzek got a lead on the home invasion." Vanessa says seeing her message first.

Hailey points in the direction of where Jay is still at in surgery. "Yeah, uh, I'm gonna stay!" She says while trying to keep her emotions in check.

"Okay," Vanessa says softly and touches her arm before getting up to leave.

"Ok, thanks."

Hailey watches her leave for a second before she sits back and leans her forehead into her hand, the tears catching up with her again. There's a small voice inside her head saying to her Vanessa is right, you should tell him… It's too much for Hailey to bear right now. So she just sits there, crying for her partner, her friend, the only guy in her life that matters, and just waits to see what fate holds for them.


Hours upon hours later Will finally comes out with another update for her. Hailey had finally changed into the clothes that Vanessa brought her and had managed to eat a tiny bit of the food, knowing she'd need the strength. She's never felt relief like she has than the moment Will walked back into the waiting room with a smile on his face. And with that, she just knew that meant his brother was okay, which meant Hailey's world could continue to turn. They managed to repair the artery and stop the bleeding. They were giving him blood transfusions to get his strength and levels back up, but outside of that it was a straight shot through his shoulder. Jay would need to stay for a couple more days, but he would make a full recovery, even to return to work. Hailey felt like she finally exhaled for the first time since she heard the gunshot go off. Will told her he should wake up from the anesthesia soon and she could go see him right after. She didn't have to be told twice, already gathering her bag of stuff from the waiting room and getting ready to walk to Jay's as soon as he was put in one.

It was another half hour, but finally she was standing over Jay's bedside, never so happy to see him so bruised, but alive. They made it again and she couldn't stop grinning at him. She knows she should tone it back before his cockiness arises and he calls her out on it, but she can't stop herself. Seeing him again has made her realize Vanessa is right, she's IN love with him, and they've both wasted so much time already. It's right then she makes up her mind that she's going to tell him soon. She owes both of them that, but for now she just wants to see how he's feeling and relish in their banter again.

"How are you feeling?"

"Like I was asleep for a year." He replies hoarsely. She doesn't care though, it's so good to hear his voice again. It's like coming home.

"You needed a little rest." She smirks back at him.

"Hailey—"

Wow, she's missed him saying her name. It's always so soft, like it's his favorite word to say. But she knows what he's about to say, she can see the anxiety and begging in his face.

"You know I hate hospitals…"

"I do!" she laughs, so predictable.

"You gotta get me out of here!" he smirks softly at her, hoping his puppy dog face will help his pleading.

"It's not optional, no!" she says grinning while shaking her head at him. She feels so cheesy, but she just can't stop smiling at him. It's like she's fully letting her guard down for one of the few moments she only does with him. He still continues to look at her hopefully before Voight comes in, interrupting the rest of the conversation.

"Hey." Their boss says to him, unable to stop the smile himself knowing his detective will be ok.

"Hey." Jay responds back.

"How's the shoulder?" Voight asks in his normal gruff voice.

"Feels like I'll be flying crooked for a while."

"I went and talked to Will, he said no structural damage, so you got lucky."

Jay gives Hailey another quick glance, shrugging. "I guess you can call it that."

Hailey notices Jay's eyes keep glancing to her as he continues to speak with their boss. "How's Angela doing?"

"She's under arrest." Voight tries to say slightly adamantly.

"Sarge, is there anything we can do for her?"

Jay looks up to Hailey once again and she purses her lips in sympathy. She knows Jay is not going to let this mother take the fall for almost killing him. As much as she doesn't fully agree with it, she understands both sides, especially Jay's, and knows he's a good man who just wants to right their wrongs. She can't disagree when that's part of the reason she loves him like she does. However Voight doesn't seem to share that notion.

"Jay, she tried to kill you. Okay, she's getting charged, full freight!"

"She knows the truth. And what happened to Marcus, that's on us." Jay tells him woefully.

It's then that one of the doctors comes in and tells them they have some tests to run on Jay, basically telling them they have to leave. Hailey gives Jay one final look before Voight is calling for her to exit with him. She knows he's going to want her stance, and her loyalty is to Jay and always has been… even if this almost killed him.

"What do you think?" he finally asks her once they're fully out of the room.

"Uhh, I think Jay's right. This Angela thing is a ticking time bomb. We need to take care of it… That was Burgess, they got an address on the home invasion crew."

"Alright you run point on that, I'm gonna put an end to this thing."

Hailey walks away, happy that Voight respects Jay and her opinions as much as he does. They've all come a long way. Maybe all three of them were just what the others needed, always keeping them grounded. She quickly makes her way over to the district, hoping the sooner they end this case, the sooner she can get back to Jay. She has a feeling she'll be sleeping in his hospital lounge chair tonight, despite his protests. As much as she knows he's fine now, she wants to be around him as much as possible. What a month this has been!


A couple days later Jay has finally got the all-clear to be discharged. Hailey is on her way to the hospital to pick him up and upon heading there she's decided that she's going to admit to Jay how she really feels. Now that he's officially being released and on the full path to recovery, she believes it's time. As nervous as she feels, she can't help but think this is the right path for them. If she was a betting woman, she'd wager Jay feels the same about her. She's noticed it for a while now, but was always too scared to accept it. They've both been pretty troubled souls, so it's just been easier to run. She's finally reached his room and takes a deep breath before entering, it's now or never.

She quietly watches him try to attach his sling, her heart doing flip flops seeing him standing again before he notices her. Once he does she quickly smiles and says, "Hey."

"Hey." He responds, still working on his sling.

"I got your badge and undercover phone from before." She says as she places the bag on the bed.

"Before it all went to hell?" he jokes.

She grins back. "Yea… here, let me give you a hand." She walks over to him since he's struggling to get his jacket on one-armed.

He softly groans in pain and as she pulls the front flaps forward towards the middle of his chest it takes every ounce of her to not wrap her arms around him. She knows it would be so out of character for her to be so mushy, so she fights the urge and steps back a little, thinking it's time to take the plunge.

"Listen, um…" she pauses for a second, wanting this all to come out right. "When you were in surgery, no one knew what was gonna happen. And it made me realize that I wanted to tell you something…" she takes a deep breath before smiling reassuringly at him.

She feels his eyes burning into hers and senses the softness there. And then he gives her a little smirk like he already knows and her heart wants to burst.

"Okay…" is his simple response, waiting for her move.

Right as she's about to speak again, his undercover phone starts ringing. How does that damn thing still have battery? They both turn to stare at it, wondering if they should let it disrupt their moment. He finally succumbs and she sighs inwardly as he walks over to it.

"It's Bobby, it's Angela's son." He says, letting the words hang as if looking for permission.

She stares back, aghast that he looks like he's going to answer. "What are you doing?"

"I want to make sure he's okay."

She walks closer to him again, wanting him to listen to her, needing him to after everything. "Hey, he's with his mom. He's okay. You just caught a bullet for this. You gotta let this one go, just let it go!" she tells him.

She sees that he's hearing her out and understanding, listening to her, the only person he ever really does, but the damage has already been done. She was about to tell him she loved him, and he still couldn't stop his need to try to save everyone but himself. She feels herself pull back the instant it happens, physically and emotionally. Even if she gets him to listen to her about Marcus' family… what will happen the next time his guilt for something eats at him? Will that finally become his ninth life? She can't go through that again. She knows she needs to tell him how she feels, but maybe they both need a minute to recover from this before proceeding. Her heart breaks a little more as she sees that he recognizes the defeat in her eyes, but he tries anyway.

"Alright." He nods and throws the phone back on the bed. "What were you gonna say?" he looks at her hopefully.

She frowns at him sadly and starts turning away as she speaks. "Never mind, I'm gonna pull the car around. I'll meet you out front." She says in one quick breath.

She swiftly walks away, not wanting to see the look of disappointment on his face; or for him to know how fragile again this just made her. Maybe she really was a stubborn idiot. Maybe he was too. Maybe, just maybe they could fix each other, more than they already have… but she's just not strong enough for it right now. Maybe it will be time one day, and as she's walking to her car she can't help but hear his words that still haunt and excite her sometimes late at night… Not in time for this unit, for us


[Disclaimer: It pains me that I have to do this because I sadly still have hope in humanity and morals, but alas... It's been brought to my attention that some people have been stealing my stories. I ONLY post on FanFiction and ArchiveofourOwn... so if you come across anything of mine on Wattpad or any of the socials, please report it. Thank you! And to the offenders, be better people!]