Wanted to try writing something in one sitting, so don't expect much
Luan Loud was a genius. A genuine, bonafide, once in a lifetime style GENIUS, on the same level as some of the greatest comedians of all time. What was most impressive of all was that she had scaled such heights at the tender age of seven.
Little Luan was prone to delusions of grandeur such as these, especially whenever she had just finished concocting another one of her brilliant pranks to inflict on one of her unsuspecting siblings. Today's stroke of genius? A deceptively simple sheet of paper with the words "Kick me" written on it in big bold letters.
A bit cliche? Arguably.
Stolen from numerous cartoons that she had watched over the years? Undoubtedly.
Still, it wasn't so much where she had gotten the idea that mattered. It was all about the execution.
Giggling to herself like a gremlin, she sat on her bed and admired her handiwork. All that was left for her to do was to pick out the perfect victim.
Her first option was Lori. Lori had a very high opinion of herself as the oldest sibling, and could always stand to be knocked down a peg or two. On the other hand, Luan had just pranked her the previous day with a whoopee cushion on her chair at the dinner table, so she surmised that the oldest Loud girl probably still had her guard up and would not be so easily be made a fool of. Luan had also recently pranked Luna and Lynn within the last week, and she figured that Lincoln and Lucy were still too young for a practical joke of THIS magnitude.
That left only one option: Leni, who some might say was the perfect pranking victim. So naive. So trusting. So gullible. Not only was she incredibly easy to trick, but she also had a notoriously terrible memory. Luan had a hunch that she could probably get away with placing a Kick Me sign on her older sister's back every day for the next week before she caught on to what was happening.
A plan of attack hatched in Luan's devious little head. First, she'd go up to her sister and tell her that she had a spider on her back. Then, while Leni was busy freaking out, Luan would pretend to brush it away with her hand, while in actuality she would affix the paper with a piece of tape. It was fool proof! She almost had to laugh out loud like a supervillain, her plan was so brilliant!
Luan jumped off of her bed and walked out of her room and across the hall, to where she hoped to find Leni, probably hunched over her sewing table or doing her homework. "Oh Leni," Luan called in an innocent sounding sing-songy voice as she approached the door, carefully hiding her piece of paper behind her back. "How's my favorite older sister doing today?" That's it Luan, her internal monologue said, lull her into a false sense of security, then when her guard is down, strike like a cobra!
When Luan finally sauntered into the room, however, she was surprised and dismayed to not have heard the sound of the sewing machine running or of the tip of a pencil scratching against a notebook. No, what she heard were soft tears and quiet little gasps from her big sister. Leni was sitting on her bed with a sheet of paper of her own in her lap, crying. She looked up and saw Luan standing at the door, "Oh, hi Luan," she said with a sniffle. She wiped her eyes and tried her best to smile that signature Leni Loud smile. "I'm actually not doing super great today, actually, but it's totes nice of you to ask!"
Alarms and sirens went off in Luan's head telling her to abort her mission. Her mischevious smirk went away and was replaced by a look of concern. "Aw Leni, what's wrong?" She walked over to the bed and sat by her sister's side, still being careful to keep her sign hidden behind her back. She didn't want to upset the poor girl further.
"Oh, it's something pretty silly really," Leni started to explain. She used her sleeve to dry away her tears and regained her composure. "It's just that we got our scores back for this big Math test today, and, well…see for yourself." She showed Luan the test that she had been crying over, and in particular the big red F at the top of the page.
Luan felt sorry for her sister, honestly she did. It was just that she was also a bit confused over how something so minor had warranted such a dramatic reaction. "Uh, no offense Leni, but shouldn't you be sort of used to getting F's by now? I mean, I can't remember the last time you brought home a grade higher than a C minus. What's so special about this test that's got you so upset?"
"You don't understand Luan," Leni began. "This time, I tried. Like, I really, really tried. I stayed up every night the week before studying extra extra hard, and I still failed." She sighed sadly. "It's like this is the best I can do."
Now that she better understood Leni's frustration, Luan felt her heart break for her sister. It was one thing to fail. It was quite another thing to give a task everything you had and see all your efforts go unrewarded. As a comedian whose jokes bombed more often than not, even the ones she was certain would be knee-slappers, Luan sympathized with Leni's plight. "Well, it sounds to me like maybe you were working yourself too hard and just didn't get enough sleep the night before. Maybe that's why you failed."
"Or maybe it's because I'm stupid, I've always been stupid, and I'll always be stupid no matter how hard I try." With every word she spoke, her eyes grew more and more watery. Luan knew that if she didn't say something soon, the tears would start flowing again.
"Hey, that's my sister you're talking about, so stop saying such bad things about yourself. So you failed one lousy test. So what? It's not the end of the world."
"It's not just the test, Luan," Leni sighed. She plopped down on her back and stare up at the ceiling, resting the paper on her chest. "You know, I've never told anyone this, not even Lori, but sometimes I lay awake at night and worry about the future. My grades are so bad, what if they keep me from ever amounting to anything? What if they get in the way of my dream of becoming a fashion designer?"
Luan nearly wanted to cry herself. She had no idea that her sweet and ditsy older sister had to deal with such insecurities. "You don't have to worry about any of that," she said softly. "You've already amounted to so much."
Leni scoffed. "Yeah right," she said in disbelief.
"No, honest, and I'm not just talking about what a great sister you are. When Lori ripped her shorts during the big fourth grade spelling bee, who sewed them up again?"
Leni looked at her sister and raised an eyebrow, confused. "Um, I did?"
Luan smiled and kept going. "When Charles chewed a hole through that catcher's mitt Lynn got for her birthday, who mended it?"
Leni seemed to quickly wise up to what Luan was trying to do. "I did," she said a bit more confidently.
"And who made Lincoln an Ace Savvy costume last Halloween when all the stores were sold out of them?"
"I did!"
Luan smiled in triumph. "See Leni, you may not always get the best grades, but you're still better at sewing than any grown up I know, and you're only nine. I know that no matter what, you've got a bright future ahead of you doing what you love."
Leni sat back up again, and for a second it looked like this whole matter could be put to bed. But then she frowned, as though still worried about something. "But, what about my grades? I mean, don't get me wrong, it's nice of you to try to make me feel better, but I should probably still at least try to do better in school, right? I just don't know what else I can do to improve."
Luan thought for a moment before an answer came to mind. "Tell ya what. I've been having some trouble with my multiplication table. Why don't we ask mom and dad to help us study every night after dinner, together? It'll be easier than staying up all night, and I'll be sure to tell lots of jokes so it doesn't get too boring."
Leni considered the offer for a moment, then smiled wider than Luan had ever seen her smile before. "Deal!" Before Luan even knew what was happening, the older girl threw her arms around her little sister and hugged her tightly. "Thanks Luan," she said, and while she may have been crying, they were the happy sort of tears that came from knowing how loved she was. "You always know how to cheer me up."
After crumpling her crude Kick Me sign into a tiny paper ball in her fist behind her back, Luan returned the hug eagerly. As soon as she did, and she felt Leni's chin resting on her shoulder, Luan then tossed the crumpled ball into the small garbage pail in the corner of the room, hearing a tiny voice in the back of her head that sounded suspiciously like Lynn's saying two points as it bounced off the rim and landed in the can.
There would be plenty of opportunities for pranks in the future. For now, Luan felt it more important for her sister to know that she would always have her back, and not just to stick signs onto.
