Hours into the next cycle.
Milos and Matthew fiddle around while the girls are out cleaning the rodent skins at the bathing stream. Dave and Mr. James sit on big rocks, staring out into space; Dave is still holding the mug,
"So ... have any interesting dreams while asleep?"
"No, oddly enough I found the mug very comforting and slept all night long," Dave replies.
"I'd ask to try out the mug for a night, but I don't want to look like a weirdo, too," says Mr. James.
"Well, sir, I've already named the mug, so I can't share it with another living being."
"Dave, if that cave delirium ever gets to ya, I could take over for a few cycles and let you rest. Ever thought of that?"
"Well, I have thought that if you ever decide to trade the cave and migrate elsewhere, I might stay behind and become a grief counselor. Change my name to Lester so Matthew doesn't find me ever again."
"Sorry, Dave, I've already promised Matthew I'd leave him with you."
"I do admire your thinking skills, sir."
"Thank you. You're not the only smooth operator around here. By the way, what did you name the mug?"
"Thag."
"Huh. Hey, I hear Moonbeam is becoming pretty popular."
"Blashphemy!" Dave recoils back with the mug.
"Okay, okay," Mr. James puts his hands out.
Dave loosens up some and they again sit in silence.
Jimmy finally breaks the silence, "Dave, we need some, some excitement around this dank cave."
"I couldn't agree more. Tribal moral has been pretty low since I cooked and ate the cave mascot."
"They're still pouting over the rat?"
"Nah, they pretty much got it out of their system."
"Good, good. So, throw some fun ideas at me! Something different and exciting!"
"Well, I guess I could bang four rocks together tonight if I put two between my feet."
"Awww! Come on, Dave - don't get my cave rocks all dirty with your foot cooties."
"I retract the fun idea."
"De-values the cave."
"Gazzizah, neandrethals," says Bill as he and Joe enter the cave.
Dave and Mr. James get up to meet them; Matthew tags along.
"Gazzizah, guys. What are you two wearing?" asks Dave.
"Oh, you like our sky gods apparel?" asks Bill.
"Sky gods apparel?" Mr. James comments while feeling the weird cloths.
Each are wearing white fancy jumpsuits with pockets, zippers, and an arm-patch emblem reading FASA. They sling down meat.
"Bill, you know big and complex trades can only be made by either Mr. James or myself."
"We didn't do any trading," says Bill.
"Then where did you get this ... very strange skins from?"
"Well, Joe and I were tracking prey when we veered too far off and got lost. Joe smelled water so we climbed over some rock and found a large watering hole. That's when Joe spotted what looked like two neandrethals swimming out of it."
Joe then speaks up, "We hung back for a minute to make sure they hadn't called dibs on it."
"Once Joe said it was safe, we approached them to say 'Ugg'. But they were weird looking."
"Weird how?" asks Mr. James.
Joe answers, "It was freakish - their faces had no forehead ridges, they had all their bitters - which were white as their skins, and their hair had no bugs in it."
"Wow, that is strange. No hair bugs? Then what do they snack on?" Matthew asks.
"Were they friendly?" Dave inquires.
Bill responds, "Oh yeah. They spoke something they called English, but by an astounding coincidence was exactly the same as Thagonese. Said they crashed their outerspace ship - what ever that is, and were from a planet called Earth; never heard of it - must be many mountains away. They said they were human beings."
"You should have seen them - their faces were smoother than a female's," says Joe.
"Odd indeed. So I take it you got along with the strangers?"
"Oh yeah. So naturally we clubbed them and took their stuff," says Bill.
Joe adds, "It was so easy a caveman could do it."
"Naturally," says Mr. James.
"Wait, I'm a little confused; what do the sky gods have to do with this?" asks Dave.
"Dave, isn't it obvious? Their outerspace ship fell from the sky, hence these are the skins of the sky gods," says Bill.
"Oh, Bill - what would out un-seen and un-heard sky gods need with an outerspace ship?" asks Dave.
"To ... fly around in?"
"Bill, do you ever see anything other than the birds and sky predators flying up there?"
"No..."
"Dave, how dare you question Bill; don't you know his father is a sky god?" says Matthew.
"Matthew, I don't even know how many times I've had to tell you this, but Bill is not a god; not a sky god, not an underground god, not any kind of god what-so-ever. Bill ... lies. For his own pleasure."
"Forgive him, Bill; he knows not what he does."
"Fine - let's ask the sky gods," Dave then looks up, "Dear benevolent creators of all that is ... if Bill is a sky god, descend from the clouds and shut my damn fool mouth up. However ... if Bill is not one of you, show us a sign by saying absolutely nothing and remaining un-seen in the sky smoke."
They all wait silently and look around for a minute.
"Well, Matthew, the sky gods have spoken."
"Oh! I think I see a sky god!" Matthew points up excitedly at the cave ceiling.
They all look where Matthew is pointing.
"Matthew, that's a moth," says Dave.
"Oh."
"At least you two brought food. Doesn't look familiar - what is it?" asks Dave.
Joe replies, "It's the two dudes we clubbed."
"Yeah, since Beth has a tendency to cry when we try to eat things that can talk, I figure I'll just give them a new name," says Bill.
"Like what?" asks Mr. James.
"Well, before we clubbed them, tey were eating this weird green-colored food they called 'lentils', which they said were soy free. I was thinking of combining that all together and calling it: Soylent Green."
"Sounds good," says Dave, raising his mug in acknowledgement.
"Dismembered them, left the undesirably parts behind, to make it all easier to carry," Bill ads.
"Excellent. You two go prep them; the females should be back soon," says Dave.
Bill and Joe walk off.
"And take those ridiculous skins off. It's bad enough who knows how many neandrethals saw you walk into our cave looking like that, but we already have Matthew. You two look like dilsnufouses."
Joe comments, "But these are our rewards. Just like when I kill a sabertooth, I rip a biter out and put it on the vine around my neck. How else will everybody know we clubbed two dudes while they weren't looking and stole their stuff?"
"Just do it. And save them for Beth' maybe they'll make good kindling."
Joe shakes his head, "Man, we never get to have any fun around here."
Mr. James. watches them walk off, then meanders away himself. Matthew follows Bill.
Dave shakes his head and again brings the empty mug up to his mouth. Joe walks back.
"By the way, when I came back yesterday, Matthew was asleep behind the boulder," he turns back around.
"Thanks, Joe. Hey, if it makes you feel any better, I still love the mug."
"It does," Joe comments back about.
"You know, I feel the mug is such an important invention, that perhaps it needs a smeared record immortalizing it."
"I'm considering it. Scratch that - the mug is too important to waste any further consideration on; make it so."
"Dave, too many words in a row. Me no understand."
"Smear that record, Joe!"
"Awesome! I'm so pumped!" Joe punches a fist into his other hand as he quickly heads off.
Dave walks over to Matthew, who is fanning Bill with a large leaf.
"Matthew, I need to talk to you on the other side of the cave."
"But who will fan Bill?"
"Bill has prepared food many times without fanning before."
"Sorry, Bill - don't spite me," says Matthew.
"You are forgiven."
Dave and Matthew walk over to the cave entrance.
Dave sighs, "Matthew."
"Yes, Dave?"
"This is important. Please do not forge - Matthew!"
"Wha - what?"
"Stop playing with that twig and those berries."
"Sorry."
"You must remember each time we leave the cave or go to sleep, to close it off with a boulder or we will all get eaten by dinosaurs. Got that?"
"Yeah, I'm not a total neandrethal, Dave."
"All right, all right. I-I know it's a little redundant and kind of pointless since you got it, but could you repeat it back to me?"
"You mean the word 'it'?"
"No, the important life-saving part."
"Oh, ah, something about putting a boulder in the cave-"
"Closing the cave."
"When ever you're out."
"Yes, that-that's close."
"Oh, make sure I don't seal off-"
"DO."
"Do seal off the cave when you're out. I remember now."
"And for the night. Got it?" Dave asks nervously.
"Yeah, no problem, I got it."
"Oookaaayyy..."
Lisa stands at the cave entrance to make sure Beth and Catherine enter safely.
"Gazizzah, Lisa. I hope the trip was uneventful."
"Yes, Dave, that's how we can describe our lives: uneventful," she and the girls pass by.
Mr. James shakes his head.
"Gazzizah, my little fire terror," says Joe, putting his arms around her waist and kissing her neck.
"Um-hoom," says hums.
Dave follows Lisa.
"Korg says he'll trade us a little meat for two or three rodent skins," says Lisa.
"Sounds good. Find out what kind of meat and about how much."
"Sure. Beth got something."
"What?"
"I don't know, some kind of seed or something," says Lisa.
Dave walks over to Beth and Joe, who are at their furs making out.
"A little privacy, Dave," says Beth.
"It's a cave, Beth. Besides, Lisa tells me you got seeds or something."
"Oh yeah," she opens a small rodent pouch and pours some out into her free hand, "Thagatha traded them to me for a little rosemary," she and Joe stand up. She holds out her hand for Dave to examine the seeds.
"What are they called?" Dave asks her.
"She said they are called coffea plant seeds."
Dave freezes for a second; his eyes light up. He looks at the beans, then the mug. Then the beans again, then the mug again. He repeats the process, only now Joe is doing it, too, with Joe looking at the mug while Dave is looking at the beans. Beth's eyes look side-to-side, watching them.
"Ooohhh, Joe -I-I think we're on the cusp of something!"
They keep looking back and forth at the two items, moving slowly closer together.
"Dave, wait, wait, wait - I think I'm having one of those," he snaps his fingers repeatedly, "things!"
"An idea?"
"Yeah! That's the thing!"
"For all that is good and beautiful, lay that thing on me, Joe!"
"What if ... I invented the Garrelli 11 - some kind of stone-based device that grounded the beans up into a powder, which was then put in, oh, water, which we then cooked over a fire?" Joe says with raging passion.
"FOR THE GOOD OF ALL NEANDRETHAL KIND, YOU MUST MAKE THIS HAPPEN!"
"I am TOTALLY ON IT!" Joe shouts, racing off.
Mr. James waddles over.
"Dave, we're having a cave meeting."
"Coming..." Dave says, not looking ahead and starring at the beans as he walks away.
"Cave meeting!" Jimmy bellows out.
Everybody gathers around where the fire would normally be and heating shell is.
"Sorry everyone, I guess in all the excitement I forgot I called a cave meeting," says Dave.
"Dave, I called the cave meeting," says Mr. James.
"Oh. Is it about my mug, Thag? Because I could put it down, if I had to, once or twice a day."
"No, Dave, it's not about your mug love. Where's Joe?"
"Joe is busy on the verge of altering all that we know, to make a better land. I'll tell him anything he misses here."
"Okay, here is the deal. I know everybody has been getting snippy and uptight lately and that being confined to the cave for most of the cycle isn't helping things. Aside from meal preparation, no work tomorrow."
Everybody cheers and looks at each other happily.
"And I know I said Dave is in charge..."
Beth hops up and down in giddy excitmen over to Mr. James.
"But I am over-ruling Dave and we're going to that paradise the Croods were at."
"Yes!" she hugs him while still hopping up and down.
"Oh, sir, you'll over-stimulate them," says Dave.
"We'll sleep in late, wake up, pack some supplies, and spend the day heading over there, where we'll spend the night."
"Sir, what about Korg?" asks Lisa.
"He'll just have to deal without you for a couple of nights."
"Oh, thank you!" Lisa says with a heavy sigh of relief.
"Well, it's certainly an idea, but what about Matthew? You all remember what happened the last time we left him alone," says Dave.
"Now, I won't force anybody to stay, but I will ask for a volunteer; pending no volunteer, we'll have a short-stick picking. Any volunteers?" asks Mr. James.
Milos raises a hand, "Milos prefer comfort of cave. I stay behind."
"Then it's all settled; tomorrow we all leave this dank, dark cave!" Mr. James exclaims.
"YAY!" they all exclaim, except Dave and Matthew.
While they all celebrate, Dave walks to the cave entrance and just stares out. Mr. James slowly walks up and joins him.
"Pouting because I went over your head?"
"No, it's not that."
"I had to do it, Dave. You've just been too hard on them lately."
"I know. I've been such a bastard."
"And enjoyed that perhaps a little too much. So, what are you mooping around for?"
"You know, existence is hard. Sometimes I just want to throw my arms up and walk away from it all, but reality sets in and I come to my senses. I just don't think it's good to tell the clan they can kick back whenever they all get to wound up."
"Oh. Dave, I know exactly what you mean. Been there, done that. But you know, a dead rodent should be the only thing with a stick up it's butt in the cave. When I'm gone and this is all yours, you'll come to the realize for all its ups and downs, you wouldn't trade it for the whole land."
"I guess," Dave sighs.
"Now, if you'll excuse me, I got to go use the poop stream."
"Excused."
Jimmy exits the cave after picking up his club. Matthew walks up to Dave.
"Dave, I was thinking I could go outside tomorrow."
"Now Matthew, we've been over this many many cycles: You're exceedingly ugly, even for a neandrethal, and if you go outside and the sky gods see you, they will punish us."
"Well, maybe they won't this time."
"Try to see things from their perspective: If you saw something as hideous as yourself, wouldn't you want to punish you?"
"I guess you're right, Dave."
"Of course I am," Dave again brings the cup up to this mouth and stops, "So close."