The Jeffersonian was quiet when Brennan arrived Monday morning. While the weather had improved very little, the same couldn't be said for her mood. The difference between that rainy afternoon in her office and now was significant. So much had changed in the last few days, she felt a little overwhelmed. Instead of pulling back, as she would have done in the past, she'd taken a deep breath that morning and kept pushing forward.
This was where she wanted to be. And she wasn't going to jeopardize that by running.
In order to calm her mind, she made a list of what she wanted to accomplish during the season. Gifts and parties and all of the other things that came with a holiday. Sure she was forgetting something, because this was the first Christmas season she'd thrown herself into since her teenage years, the list helped her focus her thoughts. It wasn't short, but it gave her the sense of control she needed.
The first item to take care of was her initial gift to Booth. Because neither of them had signed up for this Secret Santa activity, Brennan had logically concluded she didn't have to exactly follow the rules.
Freed from the constraint, Brennan's gift included a card with an explanation. Not that she feared Booth wouldn't understand the present she'd chosen for him. The conversation it referenced had taken place during the current year. The personal touch was what she wanted.
Besides, she hadn't signed her name to the card. So, logically, she didn't break the rule requiring her to keep her identity secret. Only stretched it a little.
Tying the ribbon tighter around the package, she twisted it just a little to get it exactly where she wanted it. Silly, really, to worry about something that was just going to be ripped apart when Booth saw it. She'd seen him open gifts before. There wouldn't be anything left of the paper when he was done.
Still, it was the first gift she'd given him in a long time. When the wrapping met her high standards, she made a phone call and arranged to have it sent to Booth's office.
~OOOOOO~
He wasn't happy with the wrapping paper. A corner of it was ripped from when he'd bumped against the door of his SUV. The tape he'd tried to cover it with was obvious, but it wasn't as if he had more paper hidden in his desk. It would have to do.
It had been hard to not include his name or something with the package. In the end, he hadn't been able to simply send just the gift. Taped on the top was a card, a personal sentiment added in festive red ink on the inside.
This first gift was small. Better to start that way and move up to the bigger stuff. Not that Bones cared about any of that. He'd noticed that Brainy and Jasper were displayed prominently on their own shelf in her apartment. The small tokens should have looked ridiculous next to the ancient vases and tribal masks. The idea she considered them as important as all the rest made his heart happy.
Were they moving too fast? It was hard to tell when for years they'd barely moved at all. A week ago, they were barely speaking. Now, after the conversation the previous evening it seemed to him they were dating.
He knew Bones too well to refer to her as his girlfriend. What term would she use? Girlfriend, partner, friend, everything that mattered. Any of those would work for him.
With everything that had gone wrong between them, it was hard to go with the flow. Questioning every comment or gesture he made toward his partner had become second nature. It was hard to not continue that pattern.
When it came time to make arrangements to send the gift to Bones, Booth hesitated, doubt creeping in. Maybe this gift wasn't the best idea. It would remind her of times that she would perhaps prefer to forget. Was that really something he should be doing when their relationship was new and so very fragile?
She'd often accused him of being an alpha-male. This gift had the potential to remind her of that criticism.
It wasn't too late to just send over a bouquet of flowers and throw this into a desk drawer.
He was sitting in his chair, staring dejectedly at the box, when Charlie knocked on his door. Waving his hand for him to enter, Booth pushed the box off to the side. "Do you need something?"
"This was just dropped off for you," Charlie said. A small wrapped package took the place of the one Booth had shoved to the side. "I recognize the handwriting. It seems your lady scientist sent you a gift." When Booth didn't respond, Charlie shoved his hands into his pockets and waited. The silence threatened to stretch on forever when Charlie asked, "do you want me to take that present over to her?"
Booth's eyes snapped up, annoyed to see humor in the ones looking back at him. "Do you find this funny?"
"A little," Charlie admitted. Booth might intimidate half the office, but Charlie wasn't one of them. "You wouldn't take the time to use such fancy wrapping paper for any of us. You did a nice job, by the way. Is there a reason you don't want to give it to her?"
"This is supposed to be some sort of Secret Santa exchange," Booth grumbled.
Charlie swallowed a smile. "Do you not understand the rules? You're supposed to keep your identity a secret. Or try to, at least."
Booth shifted his eyes between both gifts. "We aren't doing this very well."
"She should have had someone else write your name on the card then. All those swirls on the capital letters. Hard to mistake it as coming from anyone else." Charlie gave up on trying not to smile, enjoying the fact that his always cool boss seemed very nervous about the whole thing.
Booth reached with one hand to pull the delivered gift toward him. "I hate you so much right now."
There was no heat behind the words and Charlie chuckled softly. "Since when did you act like a nervous teenager around Dr. Brennan?"
The glare Booth shot in his direction would have sent other men running, but Charlie just planted his feet and kept smiling.
Happily married, he never understood what kept Booth and Dr. Brennan from just acting on their feelings. Their relationship had been strained for months and this apparent exchanging of gifts was the first sign that something might be changing. There was no way he was letting Booth screw this up.
"I'm just not sure the sentiment is what I want," Booth said with a sigh. It was also too late to change it now. Reaching out, he pushed a finger against the gift to send it toward the other man. "But yeah, you can take it over if you want."
"Great," Charlie said, snatching it off the desk before Booth could change his mind. "I want to talk to Angela about taking some family photos. If you don't mind, I'll just leave early for lunch."
It was barely past breakfast, but Booth didn't have the energy to argue with him. "Go. If Bones isn't there, just leave it on her desk. Or somewhere where she'll find it."
Almost tripping over his own feet Charlie hurried from the office. Booth rose from his desk and closed the door behind him. His own gift on the way, Booth stared at the one replacing it. Reaching out a finger, he trailed it over the ribbon.
She'd never mentioned the gift he'd sent last year. When she'd spoken of the holiday, of being almost alone on the remote island, Bones didn't say anything about opening a present from him. Had it made it? Or had it been something else from him she'd ignored?
Shaking his shoulders to chase away a past that he couldn't change, Booth reached for her gift. Of course, it was wrapped perfectly. Never one to save paper, he tore through it to the plain white box beneath.
Pulling off the cover, he stared at the ornament nestled in white paper.
Then started to laugh.
"You should say like a flea when referring to lightning fast reflexes," he recalled, pulling the figure free from its wrapping. It twirled as it hung from the end of his finger.
It had been a ridiculous conversation and though she'd explained herself, there were times he still didn't understand how her mind worked. What she saw as a compliment, he saw as less than that. He was surprised the flea wasn't stepping on a jungle cat, just to prove her point.
It was during their first case back. If he'd known how badly things between them would get, would he have done anything to change their trajectory?
Booth stared at it as it spun, recognizing P.T. Flea from his son's collection of movies. It was silly looking, one hand stuck into the air holding a top hat.
Curious about the card attached, Booth put down the ornament to slip a finger under the flap and pull the card free. A smiling Santa greeted him.
Expecting to see nothing more than a vague signature inside the card, he was surprised at the message written on the inside. Glancing up to make sure the door to his office was still closed, Booth began to read.
I wanted to tell you many things about my trip to Maluku when we arrived home. About what I learned and what I wanted. I'm glad your lightning fast, flea like reflexes brought you back safely. I'm not missing my chance again.
After his third read through, he put the card to the side. There was no signature, which amused him. It was pretty clear who it was from. So much for trying to keep their identities secret.
That was the only thing he found funny about it. The rest of it? Well, that made him wonder.
If he hadn't said his relationship with Hannah was as serious as a heart attack, if Bones had taken the time to write him even a single letter during their time apart, would their relationship be in a very different place?
Regrets were useless, he reminded himself, placing P.T. Flea back into its bed of white tissue paper. But he couldn't help but wonder what she would have said to him that day at the coffee cart if he'd done what he should have from the beginning and told Hannah not to follow him home.
A/N: The conversation is from The Mastodon in the Room - season 6 episode one
Brennan: Man of action.
Booth: That's right. Like a jungle cat.
Brennan: You should say "like a flea" when referring to lightning-fast reflexes.
Booth: [protests] I'm not gonna I'm like a flea.
Brennan: [innocent] It's more accurate.
