"Mommy!" Rafael awoke to the feeling of a small toddler attempting to crawl onto the bed. "Mommy!"

Olivia slowly began to open her eyes, temporarily blinded by the sunlight, while Noah climbed over to lie on the other side of her and Rafael shifted in response to the interruption. Suddenly, both adults took inventory of their situation. Rafael must have moved in his sleep; his legs were semi-intertwined with hers in the center of the bed and his morning wood was firmly pressed into the side of her hip. They quickly moved without acknowledging the position, but both felt the boundaries of their platonic relationship become fuzzy.

They both sat up, farther apart than earlier but still close. "What is it, love?"

Noah decided to climb on top of his mother and sit on her lap. "We stayin' in today!"

"I know!" She smiled as his cheeks squished under her fingers. "No daycare for Mr. Noah today!"

His excited body jumped against her stomach, causing her to huff involuntarily. "What we go do?"

"How about...", her hand met her chin in a dramatic show of thinking, "the zoo?"

Noah turned to his favorite uncle in astonishment. "We go zoo, Rafa!"

Rafael, who watched their interaction joyfully from no more than a foot away, responded. "I heard!"

"You comin' wiff us?"

"Am I invited?" He looked at Olivia to indicate that, despite his high-pitched tone, the question was directed at her.

Before Olivia could answer, Noah interrupted as he slid off the bed and made his way out of the room "Of course, you 'vited, Uncle Rafa." The mischievous 3-year-old made it to the doorway before looking back at his mother. "Duh!"

"Noah!" Olivia threw back the duvet and stretched, ignoring Rafael's presence in her bed. "What did I tell you about saying "duh"? It sounds rude."

10 minutes later, both boys were having a hearty discussion about playground politics as Rafael got ready to prepare breakfast. Noah rocked in his stool at the breakfast bar, a bad habit Olivia had been working hard to discourage, while Olivia simply sat back and watched their interactions. She had been considering – daydreaming was probably the better word – about Rafael being a father-figure in her son's life for a while now, and so far, he was living up to the expectation and then some.

Rafael mixed the pancake batter and carefully poured it into the pan before adding the "booberries" that Noah had demanded and some of the chocolate chips that Olivia didn't yet know about. Only one thought resonated throughout his mind as he served the pajama-clad Bensons their breakfast.

Every morning could be like this.

Instead of reprimanding himself like he knew he should, he contently waded through the vast possibilities and his fantasies of a life where this was the norm. He longed for a life where he could wake up next to Olivia and coddle Noah. He longed for a life where they were a real family, his wife and son. Mr. and Mrs. Barba.

But alas, his daydreams were exactly that: daydreams. The temporariness of this arrangement, his own fears, and Olivia's turmoil made their situation feel more like playing house than actually living the life he so desperately craved. When Olivia goes back to work in two weeks, his growing flame of hope would be surely snuffed out when they faced the reality of their professional situation. The mere thought of going back to the normal routine without these domestic pleasures made him feel like a plastic marionette in the hands of a cruel master, or the Tin Man without his oil. The cruel paradox trapped his metaphorical joints – the nearby stunning blow of reality will be worse if he lets himself become accustomed to these moments, but if he emotionally dissociates to protect his future self from disappointment, he may never get this opportunity at family ever again.

If Olivia noticed his sudden silence, she didn't mention it.

After swallowing one of his gluttonous forkfuls, Noah decided that he was bored with the lack of conversation."You and uncle Rafa sleep togever last night." The sentence wasn't a question, in fact, the boy was smiling although he surely didn't know the double meaning of his words.

Rafael almost choked on his coffee and fell into a brief coughing fit, which was probably for the better as it forced Olivia to respond instead.

"Oh um...", she looked at him for help but Rafael only grinned, "Yes, my love. I had a nightmare last night and Rafael helped me calm down so I could fall asleep. Just like how you had a bad dream last night, too."

Olivia glanced at her former bed-occupant once more, this time to see his assessment of her explanation. He nodded in approval but couldn't stop his grinning reaction to the subtle humor of the situation.

You did a good job, he told her with his smirking expression.

You could have helped, she jokingly responded with her signature pursed lips.

Noah remained unfazed by their nonverbal conversation. "You dream 'bout spidas too?"

Somehow, it felt like all the blood in her body rushed to her cheeks while she turned pale simultaneously. "Um...Yeah."

Noah resumed eating, happy with the answer. Soon after, both he and Olivia were on their way to get ready for the day. After applying more makeup than usual and picking out looser clothing, Olivia assessed herself in the mirror before going out to dress Noah.

Rafael, already dressed and filled with impulsivity, intercepted Olivia before she made it into Noah's room to help him change. He gently tapped her shoulder – still unsure of their physical boundaries – and she stopped her motions to turn slightly. "We need to talk." Even in the dim lighting of the windowless hallway, he saw her face drop automatically. "Don't worry, it can wait until after the zoo. I probably shouldn't have even brought it up right now. But we do need to talk. Soon."

"I know." She heard Noah call for assistance and tried to quell the rising anxiety. "Tonight."


The Central Park Zoo was crowded, but no more than any popular New York establishment would be. Small children and their parents twisted their way through the pathways and exhibits, stopping to look at a new animal every few minutes.

Noah leaned against the glass of each exhibit with unbridled curiosity, watching the animals or standing there until he was able to wrap his mind around why one enclosure would be empty. Once, at the bear enclosure, he became so scared that he ran back into the open arms of his mother, almost in tears. Rafael couldn't help but chuckle. The bear was peacefully eating its lunch in the corner, but that didn't seem to appease the boy.

When they finally arrived at the exhibit they had saved for last, "Pengin!" was all Noah was able to say – or, more accurately, shout multiple times – while Olivia adoringly stoked his excitement and Rafael sneakily took a few action shots with his cell phone. The boy was almost overloaded with happiness and Olivia couldn't stop smiling at his reactions to... well, everything.

Although there were some warning signs of trouble, like when one man innocently stood a little too close to Olivia and Rafael had to wedge himself between the two so the nervous woman could breathe again, the day was largely unimpeded by reminders of Joe or the looming threat of the awkward talk scheduled for later tonight.

They stopped for cotton candy after Rafael had purchased an obscenely overpriced penguin stuffed animal for Noah – he was paid back with the toddler equivalent of a bear hug on his leg – and now Olivia carried the boy while Rafael strolled the along pathways beside them. It felt so... right. To be here with them, like this, knowing that everybody else here would assume that they were together without a second thought. For the first time in a long time, Rafael could let down his guard. He belonged.

Noah quickly spotted a large dinosaur-shaped playground toy in the section meant for toddlers, and he was immediately intrigued.

"Payground?"

She observed the playground, a very small one with scalable plastic turtles and other animals designed for children Noah's age, before making a verdict. "Yes. Be careful, sweet boy. I'm going to be right over here." The second he was let down, he scampered off to climb the dinosaur.

Both adults settled into the small area on the other side of the turfed area where parents could watch their tykes explore the world while staying out of the way from foot traffic. Olivia turned to face Rafael but still kept her eye on her adventurous son. They stopped their previous conversation about Chief Dipshit to take it all in. The nice weather, the soft breeze that ruffled Liv's hair, and the families walking by that shared some resemblance to their own party of 3.

Olivia took a couple of breaths of the fresh air. It was the first time she had really been outside since the incident with Joe, but she quickly shook that thought out before it could develop into something more sinister. "We had a really nice day. I have a feeling that it'll be hard to convince Noah to go home with us."

Home. With us.

Rafael was shocked out of his blissful Noah-watching and thrown into a world of hope. He tried to fight the pride and joy, just a little, but gave in to the overwhelming feelings that those mere three words evoked within him. Olivia, on the other hand, didn't notice her slip up, which somehow made it even more intimate and genuine to Rafael. She must have really meant it.

She eventually realized that her friend was simply...staring. His body was still aligned with the playground and Noah, but his eyes scanned her lips. She wondered what the hell he was doing, but only momentarily. The preoccupied man only noticed her reciprocated when she moved in to gently whisper, "Rafa?"

"Liv." It wasn't a statement, a question, or an acknowledgement. It was an invitation.

One that she was glad to accept. Her legs moved her closer to his body and she gently cupped his face with her nails. He reciprocating, leaning in slightly but letting her take the lead.

Any concerns that they were out in public were abandoned when he tasted the sugary remnants of the cotton candy in her kiss and felt a hot flash of warmth race down his body. Rafael pressed into his lower body deeper into hers while his right hand rested on her lower back and pulled her closer, savoring the moment. Her breasts pressed against his chest while they came to the surface for air and time came grinding to a halt as they examined each other's faces in more detail than ever before.

Suddenly, the previous promise that he made to himself rung in his ears like a blaring fire alarm. He pulled back, dropping his hands to her elbows, and took a couple of deep breaths.

"I'm sorry... I uh... I shouldn't have." Rafael, filled with shame, focused on the playground rather than the woman in front of him. He pulled back further. "I'm so sorry."

"What?" She knew there was no way she read the situation wrong, after all, he kissed her back with passionate desire. Olivia's mind raced with explanations. Her first thought was that maybe he was repulsed by the scars. Maybe he was just too fed up with her after 3 days because she put too much of her emotional burden onto him. Maybe it was her personality that pushed him away until she became too much to deal with and he just gave up. Olivia's warped perception of the world reminded her that she was unlovable. Again.

When he saw her tears, he assumed that she was angry with him, or betrayed. "I shouldn't have taken advantage of you right now... You're everything to me and..."

"Save me the bullshit and just be honest, Barba." Olivia looked at the ground, tears brimming at the edges of her chocolatey eyes. "I'd rather you just be up front with me than try to save my feelings."

"You are everything to me, Olivia, and I don't want to lose you."

"Lose me?"

"I want you, so badly. You have no idea. But I'm hesitant to compromise what we already have, especially if this whole arrangement is temporary. A taste of honey is worse than none at all." He saw the confused expression on her hurt face, so he elaborated. "Not only do I not want to take advantage of... the situation, what happens to us when your time off is up? Our jobs... we can't... How can I go back to my life, enlightened by the experience but knowing that I'll never be able to reach these highs again?"

She began to realize that he wasn't hesitating because of her, but rather the consequences their romantic involvement could have on their friendship. And their jobs. Olivia took a couple of deep breaths, pulling away from him and moving her hand up to her forehead in thought. It took a while for her to gather her thoughts, and more time to gather the courage to speak them, but Olivia was determined to speak her mind.

"I... I waited for the perfect time with Elliot. For the stars to align, you know?" She wiped away a stray tear. "I knew that if I... instigated things, he'd reciprocate. But even after his separation from Kathy, I waited. And waited. The perfect time never came, and his life kept on barreling forward while I was dead in the water. If you want to wait for everything to be nice and easy for us, you should know that'll never happen, Rafael. So you need to decide one way or the other. Either you are going to fight for... whatever this is, or you aren't."

Rafael took a moment to silently acknowledge that he understood how big of a deal it was for her to share that with him before he spoke. "I'd fight God barehanded if it would let me – let us – do this. But what if we can't work together anymore, what if they don't let us? You are...my...you mean so much to me, but you're my best friend first and I can't lose that. I can't lose being able to look forward to my job every day because I know you'll be there."

Olivia understood and nodded in agreement, but was already crafting solutions. "It won't be a risk if we disclose." She understood the doubtful look and continued. "If we are professional and don't let it get in the way of our jobs... It's a risk but it's one that I'm willing to take if you are."

He smiled, relieved and enthralled by the possibilities that sprung into his mind. "I'd jump off a bridge if you told me to, Benson." He leaned in again, holding her close, but postponed another kiss in favor of mentally cataloging this moment forever.

They were soon interrupted by the jubilant squeals of Noah. "Uncle Rafa!" Noah came running over from the playground and found his way into Rafael's arms. "Rafa, you not believe!"

Rafael stayed close to Olivia as he held her son in his arms. "Believe what, bud?"

"I found treasure!" Noah held up a plastic toy soldier, proud of his findings and hoping to elicit an amazed reaction from his two favorite adults. "See!"

"Woah!" The older man took the prized possession in his free hand so he could inspect it dramatically. "This is so valuable that we might have to let the IRS know."

The gentle sarcasm made Olivia grin while his upbeat tone and amazed grin exacerbated Noah's excitement. Mission accomplished.

The toy soldier was nice, but Rafael got the feeling that he just stumbled into something much more valuable.

Family.