Yes, this is a shitpost, don't mind me.
Jaune, after unlocking his aura at Beacon, soon discovered his semblance, and it was something that could greatly benefit him in a battle. To activate his semblance, He had to devour 10 McDonalds Happy Meals, plus 30 chicken nuggets on top of that. After his semblance was activated, he would be able to enlarge his body to any size, as long as it was larger than he already was. Basically, he became a big boi. Using this power, all he had to do was just eat a bunch before a fight. Then, he would just grow to a large size, and just jump on his enemies. Oh yeah, and this semblance isn't affected by aura so no matter who he was fighting, he could just crush them.
Now at the battle against Salem, while everyone else was struggling against the Grimm, Jaune was stuffing his face in the back. "Jaune!" Ruby yelled, "We need some help here! We're gonna be overrun by Grimm if you don't hurry up!"
Jaune realized the urgency of the situation and stuffed the last of the thirty nuggets into his mouth. "Coming, Ruby!" Jaune yelled back.
Jaune rushed over and became gigantic. Thanks to his huge aura reserves, which was boosted by the fact that he had just consumed a full meal, he couldn't even feel the Grimm attacking his feet, and the flying ones he just swatted away with his hand. He walked all the way across the battlefield where Salem was waiting. Without wasting a second, Jaune looked at Salem, turned around, then sat down. He got back up, and looked down. There was Salem, squashed as flat as a pancake. He laughed and thought, 'This is who Ozpin and the others were worried about? Well, whatever. I should get some more to eat after this."
He walked back to where Ruby and the others were waiting, and deactivated his semblance. "Hey guys!" Jaune called.
Ruby ran up to him, "Jaune, you're amazing! You're a hero, and you've saved so many lives!"
Jaune shrugged then asked, "Hey if you're free, you wanna go get some McDonalds?"
"Of course, Jaune! You did save the world after all. It'll be my treat." Ruby replied.
They, then, walked off into the distance, searching for the nearest McDonalds. Oh yeah, they were also walking away from the corpses of Blake, Yang, Weiss, Nora, Ren, and Oscar! I seem to have forgot to mention that Jaune stepped on them too. Ruby was the only survivor due to her speed semblance, but whatever. At least, Jaune gets his McDonalds, right?
