Back in the sound-proof room...
"I didn't get one lousy match," Luke moaned, sinking down in the sofa. "Mara is going to kill me."
"Aw, kid, don't feel so bad," Han told him. "It wasn't all your fault, ya know."
Luke looked up hopefully. "It wasn't?"
"Nah... you answered that peeked or long look question right," Han pointed out. "It wasn't your fault if Mara lied in her answer."
"Mara doesn't lie!" Luke protested, defending his new wife.
"Sure she did," Wedge said. "She stared at you through the trees, and then said she only peeked the first time. That's a lie."
"I... I should never have told her I knew she was there," Luke mumbled, stricken. "And to tell her while billions were watching..."
"Leia should never have told the galaxy I cry watchin' holo-vids," Han said, miffed. "I'll never live that down."
"You?" Corran grumbled. "The galaxy thinks I highlight my hair and wear lifts!"
"So Mirax was lying about that?" Wedge asked, grinning. "Along with the inability to levitate objects?"
"Shut up!" Corran snapped. "You can't levitate anything, either, unless you can levitate your little toy spaceships when no one is looking." Then as an afterthought added, "Sir."
"Hey, Luke," Han injected into the conversation. "Maybe you should find out where Horn gets his shoe lifts." As Wedge snorted, Han couldn't help adding, "What are you laughin' at, Antilles? You could use a pair yourself." He looked around at the three men. "Those X-Wings stunt everyone's growth?"
Trying to ignoring Han, Wedge turned his focus toward Luke. "You are wearing something under those robes today, aren't you?"
"How am I going to face my students back at the Academy?" Luke mumbled, burying his face in his hands.
"Have I said how much I hate this game?" Han asked to no one in particular.
"YES!" all the men yelled back at him.
"All right, then," Lando said, trying his best to maintain a cheerful expression, even though the four women contestants were all glaring at him. "We need to move on to the big bonus round. Think carefully before answering, because this one question will determine the winner, and if you all get it right, the charity will benefit."
"Just get to the question, already," Mara groused out, steaming over the fact Luke had failed to match a single question in that last round.
Still smiling, even though his cheeks were hurting from the effort, Lando opened the final binder that the director handed him before rushing away. "And the last question is..." His smile faded and his eyes became wide in shock at what Wes had written. "Eating utensils... in the bedroom?" he mumbled under his breath. "Who in their right mind would take sharp objects to bed?"
"What?" Mirax asked loudly. "You're mumbling, Calrissian."
"Speak up," Iella requested.
Lando quickly looked up, slamming the folder shut. "Well. Now. On to the last bonus question."
"You already said that," Leia pointed out impatiently. The sooner he asked the question, the sooner she could escape with what little dignity she had left.
"Yes," Lando agreed, nodding. "I sure did, didn't I?" He turned to the audience. "Have you had a good time, everyone?" The audience clapped loud and long. "Well. Good. And my director has informed me we've taken in more pledges than we anticipated, even when you consider how poorly our perfect pairs did on this game. Although they tried their best, didn't they? Let's give them a big round of applause." More applause followed.
"What in kest is the question already, Calrissian?" Mara asked as soon as the clapping died down.
"What did you eat for breakfast this morning?" Lando asked quickly.
"Is that the question?" Iella said.
"Yes." Lando nodded frantically. "That's the question." The audience booed, and he glared at them. "Just write down your answers, ladies."
The women quickly jotted something down, then looked up, their expressions that of relief.
"Are you done? Good. Tendra, will you go get the men?"
The men filed back in, and sat down next to their wives as far away as the small sofas permitted. It wasn't necessary to be Force-strong to see how flustered and nervous they were. Once seated, Lando nodded again. "The question put to your wives - and it's an easy one, so you'd better get it right - what did your wife have for breakfast this morning? We'll go with the leading team first. That would be the Solos."
"Ha!" Han said, grinning. "That's easy... it's, it's... awww... Hell fires of Corellia! I can't remember!"
"You can't remember?" Leia snapped. "It was twelve hours ago!"
"A lot has happened since then," Han said lamely. "Frosted Toaster Doodles?"
"THE KIDS EAT FROSTED TOASTER DOODLES!" Leia yelled, standing up and towering over her cringing husband. "I HATE Frosted Toaster Doodles! I had sweet neachy slices and a para-roll!"
"Uh... can you sit down?" Lando requested, a trickle of sweat running down his temple. "Corran, can you go next? Please?"
Gulping, Corran pulled at his shirt collar. "I don't think she ate breakfast this morning..."
"I most certainly did!" Mirax informed him, folding her arms across her chest.
"Oh. Well... then, I guess she ate, err... honeycrust bread and sarkanian jelly."
"I had a gukked egg and juice," she said in a low tone. "How could you forget? You had an egg, too!"
"Oh. Yes. Now I remember. Can we go home now?"
"You'll have to wait until after the game," Lando said, a bit too brightly. "Wedge?"
"Breakfast... breakfast..." Wedge muttered, staring at the floor. "Think, Antilles... you can do this..."
"You'd better," Iella replied.
"Ryshcate," he said quickly.
"Ryshcate?" Iella repeated in total disbelief. "For breakfast? I told you that was my favorite dessert!"
Wedge hit himself on the forehead. "That's where that came from!"
Lando sighed. "Her answer was butter-baked hot oats. I guess this question wasn't as easy as I thought it would be. And our very last contestant, currently in last place... Luke?"
The Jedi bit his lower lip nervously. Everyone else had given the wrong answer, and Mara was still glaring at him for missing every reply from round two. The pressure was on. "Oh, well, she sometimes has a protein shake in the morning, but she didn't have that this morning," he rambled pointlessly.
"So what did she have this morning?" Lando prompted.
"Uh... I do remember what she had the first morning of our honeymoon." Luke gave a wide grin. "Said it was the best she'd ever had." This brought loud catcalls and whistles from the audience, and Luke looked over at Mara, who was now turning red and staring blaster bolts in his direction. "Best breakfast, I mean. To eat. For breakfast," he tried desperately to clarify.
Mara buried her face in her hands, and mumbled out of the side of her mouth, "Just tell them what I had for breakfast today, farmboy!"
"Hey, Han!" Wedge piped up. "Does Luke have a nice comfy couch in their apartment?"
Han shook his head in mock sadness. "It's brand new, and hard as a rock. Not broken in at all yet."
"Too bad," Wedge said, laughing.
"It was Citros-Snow Cakes... with a dollop of berry-bliss cream on top!" Luke said in a rushed voice.
"YES!" Mara shouted, grabbing Luke around his neck and kissing him. "You remembered!"
"With that correct response, the Skywalkers now have one thousand points, and have won the game!" Lando boomed out over the loud cheering. "Congratulations!"
"That's not fair!" Wedge protested instantly. "They cheated!"
Mara turned her glare at Wedge. "Cheated? How?"
"Uhh... you're both Jedi... you probably read each other's mind," Wedge explained hurriedly.
"Is that right?" Mara said, standing up and stalking over to Wedge. "Well, maybe we won because we're the only team without the handicap of having a Corellian!"
"Hey!" Mirax protested. "I resent that!"
"Me, too," Iella said hotly.
Mara had the grace to look slightly ashamed as she realized both Mirax and Iella were Corellian. "I meant Corellian men..."
"Sure you did," Mirax snapped. "You hate all Corellians!"
"She does not," Leia spoke up, feeling the need to defend her sister-in-law. "And my brother doesn't cheat, either."
"Well, I think they did," Mirax returned.
"Why don't you ask your Jedi husband if he thinks we cheated?" Mara shot back. "Maybe you can explain to him why we teamed up against the men while you're at it!"
"What?" Corran asked. "You teamed up against the men?"
"Is that what you were planning?" Wedge asked his wife. "Why? I thought we were supposed to be the 'team.'"
Han stood up and pointed at a very quiet Lando Calrissian. "This is all your fault."
Backing up, Lando held up both hands, palms out. "I... it wasn't my fault... I didn't write those damn questions!"
"Then who did?" Han demanded, ignoring Leia's attempts to get him to stop walking toward Lando.
Lando turned toward the frightened director. "Could you please take this off the holo-net now? I think we're done here."
After the curtain lowered, Karrde leaned forward and tapped Booster on his shoulder. "Pay up."
"I don't have one thousand credits on me! Besides, Antilles might be right... maybe those Jedi cheated."
Mon Mothma looked appalled and said, "I can assure you, Jedi Master Skywalker would not cheat!"
"You don't have any proof though, do you?" Booster shot back. "He probably was missing all those answers earlier on purpose... just to throw everyone off."
"Pay up," Karrde warned. "Or I'll..."
"You'll what?"
Talon Karrde jumped up, and threw himself over the seat, wrestling Booster to the ground.
"I still can't believe Princess Leia was using me to get Solo to propose!" Isolder moaned, right before Queen Teneniel Djo slugged him in his arm.
"Did I say this wasn't good entertainment?" Fey'lya asked, watching the men fight. "For the first time in my life, I may have been wrong."
"Janson!" Lando managed to squeak out. "This is all Janson's fault!"
Han waited until the glittery curtain lowered and hid the stage before hauling off and giving Lando a belt in the nose. "Han!" Leia scolded. "Stop that!"
"Why?" Mara asked, walking up beside her. "That's the least he deserved for what he just put us through."
"Stand up," Wedge shouted at the prone Baron. "I'll give it to you again!"
"You will not," Iella ordered. "Didn't you hear him? Wes wrote those questions."
The agitated holo-show director scooted over to his boss. "Baron Calrissian? What should I do when the advertisements are over? You were scheduled to give a thank you speech, and read the big final pledge board tally."
Holding a handkerchief up to his bleeding nose, Lando staggered to his feet. "I can't give a speech looking like this!" He glared at Han. "Or maybe I should... and let the galaxy know who did this to me."
"Go ahead," Han returned. "I'd love that. It might salvage some of my macho reputation!"
Corran stared at Lando. "Why did you let Wes write those types of questions?"
"I had no idea what he'd written - "
"Sure you didn't," Han interrupted.
"I DIDN'T!" Lando forced himself to calm down. "I kept asking and asking to see the questions, and he always had some excuse not to show me. Before I knew it, it was the day of the show and I didn't have time. I trusted him...Force help me, I trusted him. You should be thanking me for changing that last question. You wouldn't have believed what he had down for that!"
"You should have changed them all," Wedge spluttered out. "What made you decide to trust Wes Janson? Why was he even involved?"
By this time, Tendra had approached the group of angry contestants. "Because... he's a very trusting being," she said, taking his arm protectively. "You should be mad at Wes, not Lando!"
"And he volunteered to help me," Lando explained. "The day after I took you out to dinner he came to my office. He told me he'd help me in anyway he could, and writing those questions was just one thing he did to help out."
"Help?" Han sneered. "Some help."
"That seems reasonable," Luke told Corran. "Wes must have gone to Lando right after Wedge and I talked to you in Dex's Diner."
"This is exactly something Wes would do," Iella surmised. "I'm sure he thinks it was a big joke."
"He's undoubtedly home right now laughing his fool head off," Mirax agreed.
"By the time I'm done pounding him into the ground, he won't be laughing," Han groused out. "Maybe I'll let Chewie pull his arms out of his sockets."
"You're not pounding anyone into the ground, nerf-herder," Leia informed her husband.
"The advertisements are about to be over!" the director twittered nervously. "What shall we do? We can't show a curtain! I've never had anything like this happen to me before... and I've been in show business for twenty years!"
"Are you related to Threepio by any chance?" Han asked the thin man.
"Who?"
"Han," Leia admonished, then turned to the director. "I'll give the farewell speech if it will help."
"You will?" The man bobbed his head up and down. "Good... all you have to do is read the holo-prompter - "
"I know what to do," Leia interrupted. "I give speeches all the time. It's my job."
"Oh..." He flushed. "Of course, Madam President. Please follow me to your mark, and we'll get this holothon wrapped up."
"Thank you, Leia," Lando mumbled through his throbbing nose. "I owe you."
"You owe all of us," Wedge informed him. "Big time."
As Leia followed the director, Lando started desperately trying to think of a way to get a stay of execution. "If I can think of a plan to get back at Janson, will that put things right between us?"
"It'll be a start," Corran said sullenly.
"I don't know if we should be getting back at Wes," Luke mused thoughtfully. "Revenge is -"
"If you finish that sentence, you really will be sleeping on the couch tonight," Mara threatened.
Luke was about to reply, when he tilted his head to one side. "Leia's calling me through the Force... something is happening out in the auditorium!"
Carefully, Han peeked out from behind the curtain. "It's a riot!" He took off toward his wife yelling, "Leia ... it's time to get outta here!"
"A riot?" Lando asked, his eyes wide. "That can't be!"
"Sure looks like a riot to me," Wedge informed him after checking for himself.
"Can we leave now?" Corran asked Mirax, trying not to sound whiney.
"We'd all better leave," Iella told the group. "Before the law authorities come through the back door."
Luke hesitated. "Shouldn't we do something to help? I could use the Force to calm everyone down."
"It doesn't look like anyone is getting hurt, Luke," Mara told her husband as she pulled his arm. "We should probably leave."
Lando nodded in agreement. "I had to hire hundreds of security guards because the Chief of State was appearing on the show. I'm sure they can handle it."
"Just like you were sure Wes could handle those questions?" Corran grumbled sarcastically as they all hurried out the back door.
An hour later, in the Horn apartment
"You didn't say one word all the way home," Corran groused. "Why are you the one acting so mad? Did I tell the galaxy you dye your hair? Or that you wear lifts in your shoes? And to top it all off, you and your friends were trying to make us look bad!"
Mirax turned around slowly, her face stony. "Are you done now?"
"I guess."
"In the first place," Mirax said slowly, like she was speaking to a child, "the only thing we were 'planning' was getting you to take us out to the Starlayne, since I've never been there. Was that such a bad thing to want?"
"No... not as bad as what we were wanting, I suppose..."
"Who is we?"
"Us... the men. We wanted to get more points so you'd feel guilty and be, um, sort of slaves to our desires - "
"WHAT?"
"I wasn't really going to, though..."
"You can sleep on the sofa tonight," Mirax said frostily. "See if that satisfies your desires." The bedroom door slammed shut behind her.
In the Antilles apartment...
"I told you this was a bad idea..." Wedge kept saying. "I told you we'd be paying and paying for that meal. I told you -"
"Stuff it!" Iella yelled. "I'm tired of hearing you say 'I told you so' already!"
"We've always been a team," Wedge kept complaining. "And then you go and connive behind my back... what was that all about?"
"You got three lousy matches!" Iella returned. "I didn't plan that... you did that all by yourself! You don't know me at all! And I do not fly a ship badly, either!"
"I couldn't think of anything!" Wedge shot back. "And why won't you tell me what you had planned with the women?"
"We..." Her reply was cut short when the holocomm lit up. "Yes?" she answered shortly.
"Iella... it's Mirax. Has Wedge told you what the men were planning on doing to us if they got the most points?"
Iella turned her steely gaze at Wedge. "No. He hasn't mentioned anything."
"Love slaves! Guilt-ridden love slaves! Can you beat that?"
"Oh? Really?"
Wedge held up his hands. "I can explain..."
"Can you?"
"Uh. No."
In the Skywalker apartment...
Mara put her hands on her hips. "One match? ONE?"
"But, but I got the bonus one right. So that's two. Technically."
"Technically," she repeated.
"Well... like the guys said, I would have gotten more, if you would have been honest..."
"HONEST?"
"About the peeking question," Luke continued, somewhat belligerently.
"Oh. Pardon me for not wanting to admit that in front of billions of beings."
"We won, anyway," Luke cajoled. "So we don't have to fight. Let's go to bed, and you can reward me for getting that big bonus question right."
"You want a reward?" Mara asked, eyes wide.
"Well, that's what the guys - " He stopped, suddenly looking guilty.
"What, Luke? That's what the guys...?"
"Um. They were kind of saying if we - the guys - got more points than you, you'd reward us."
"Reward."
"But the guys only meant - "
"What in blazes were you doing listening to a bunch of Corellians! Didn't your bachelor party teach you anything? I thought you knew better than that!"
"You women are the ones that insisted we go along with Lando's scheme! I tried to warn you. But you trusted Lando Calrissian more than you trusted me. Your own husband. A Jedi Master."
"A Jedi Master that preens in the nude when he knows women are watching from the bushes? A Jedi Master that admits he goes around with nothing under his robes!"
"You're the one that told them that. I didn't tell them anything embarrassing about you!"
"You told them I made more excuses in the bedroom."
Luke shook his head in exasperation. "That's what you said, too."
"Well, you didn't have to agree! You're supposed to be complimenting me!"
"I said your chest was the size of boulders," Luke argued. "What else did you want me to say?"
"Oh, that's right. Thanks a lot for announcing that to the galaxy! Your sister gets compared to mountains, and I only get boulders."
"The idea was to match, and that's what I thought you'd say, which you did, I might remind you," Luke said, struggling to keep his voice even.
"Funny how you didn't know what I'd written down on any of my questions."
"Yes, I did!"
"Food ones!" Mara shouted. "All you notice about me is what I eat! And you didn't even get all of them right! Yellow hava beans, Farmboy! Yellow!"
Mara turned on her heel and headed toward the bedroom as Luke followed, his face hopeful. Before he made it inside, the door slid shut, and gave a click as it locked.
"Mara, honey? Moonie-dew?" The door reopened, and Luke's face lit up. "I knew you'd see - " A pillow and blanket hit him in the face, and the door closed again. " - reason."
In the Solo apartment...
Han flopped down on the bed, putting his hands behind his head as he leaned back against the headboard. "Punching Calrissian felt good."
"Lando's reputation is ruined," Leia chided her husband. "After tonight, he'll probably have to resign from his charity."
"Big deal. That's what he gets for letting Janson write those stupid questions. And speaking of that... what's with tellin' the galaxy I cry watchin' holo-vids? They'll be playin' this over and over on the 'net. Now we have to hope for some galactic crisis to come along and push us outta the spotlight." Han narrowed his eyes at his wife. "And what were you scheming females plottin' behind our innocent male backs?"
"Innocent?"
"Ah, Princess, you know we were tryin' to do our best. And we sure weren't planning on shooting you outta the airlock, like you were doing to us."
"Doing your best? Really? I can't believe how you answered some of those questions, flyboy!"
"Me?" Han asked incredulously. "Your predictable, grammar deficient, cryin' husband? What did I say that was so terrible?"
"My tongue is deadly? How dare you say that."
"It's stopped me dead in my tracks a few times," Han informed her. "'Sides, I wasn't making plans with the guys just to make you look bad."
"Is that so? Then why do I get the feeling you're holding something back?"
"Don't use that Force garbage on me. It ain't fair." He patted the bed. "It's been a long night..."
"What did I have for breakfast?"
"What?" Han asked, confused.
"Today. This morning. What did I have for breakfast?"
"I... um..."
"You still don't remember, do you?"
"Does it matter?" Han questioned, annoyed.
"Yes! It does matter!"
"Why? I'm tellin' ya, sweetheart, let's forget this day ever happened. Starting with breakfast. See? I've already got a headstart on you."
"You can't use that as an excuse, Solo, so until you can remember," Leia told him, pointing toward the door. "You can sleep out there!"
"Are you kidding?"
"CHEWIE!" Leia shouted. "Can you come in here?"
Han jumped up, grabbing his pillow. "I'm going..." Walking out the door, he muttered loudly. "Did I say how much I hated that game?"
Mara woke up to the early morning sunshine, and reached over for Luke. He wasn't there, and for a few seconds she wondered where he went so early. Then the previous day's events flooded back, and with those memories came guilt. I shouldn't have yelled. And I certainly shouldn't have made him sleep on that hard couch. Poor Luke... I embarrassed him even more than he did me. Determined to put things right between them, Mara got up and headed out of the bedroom.
Luke wasn't on the sofa, either. Frowning, Mara reached out with the Force, surprised to discover his Force-presence wasn't anywhere in the apartment. She was about to reach further out when her comlink buzzed. Maybe that was Luke calling her. "Yes?"
"Mara, it's Leia," her sister-in-law's concerned voice came over the small speaker. "Is Luke there?"
"No, as a matter of fact, he's not. I just got up and found out he's already left this morning. I don't even see a note."
"Oh." She sounded disappointed. "Han is gone, too."
"Leia, I'm feeling pretty bad about yesterday..." Mara started to say before Leia interrupted.
"Me, too. The more I think about it, the worse I'm feeling. They didn't really do anything we didn't, and it was our idea to be on the show."
"I know. If it wasn't for the love-slave part..." Mara said dryly.
"Love slave? LOVE SLAVE?"
"They wanted to get more points than us, just so we'd be really, really nice to them, if you know what I mean," Mara explained, grinning. "I was annoyed when Luke told me last night, but now I'm over it. We were plotting against them, too."
Leia was silent for a moment, then laughed. "You're right, except my nerf didn't confess about that little detail last night. I made him sleep on the sofa when I asked him again what I had for breakfast yesterday, and he STILL couldn't remember. After I got up this morning, there was a bowl of neachy slices and a para-roll on the table. Just no Han."
"I'll contact Iella and Mirax and see if their husbands have mysteriously disappeared," Mara volunteered. "In the meantime, I wouldn't worry about it. I have a feeling whatever they're up to, Wes is the one that probably should be worried, not us."
"I'll talk to you later," Leia said, clicking off.
Mara spent the next several minutes contacting both Mirax and Iella. They had the same story to tell - waking up and finding no spouse. Neither woman was particularly angry anymore, and at least Wedge had left Iella a note telling her they all went for breakfast at Dex's Diner. Mara could easily sense through the Force that Luke was in no danger, and she strongly suspected all the men had gotten together to make some dumb plans for revenge on Janson.
Dex's Diner
"How was the new sofa last night, Luke?" Wedge taunted. "Nice and hard?"
Luke peered up from his breakfast. "It wasn't too comfortable. I guess I should have kept my mouth shut about our love-slave plot."
Han speared a piece of nerf-sausage, glaring at Luke. "You confessed? Why'd ya go and do that for?"
"I think Mara could already tell," Luke muttered glumly. "Sometimes being a Jedi has its drawbacks."
"You think?" Wedge asked, chewing his toast. "I could have held out against Iella's interrogation, but no..." He looked accusingly at Corran. "You went and told Mirax. You Jedi and your blasted conscience, anyway."
Corran looked down, sipping his caf. "I thought Mirax would laugh... you know... think it was funny. And I told her I wouldn't really have gone through with it."
"What's wrong with giving us poor husbands a little extra attention now and then, anyway?" Wedge wanted to know.
"Right after we tell the galaxy we lie to our wives and compare their chests to rocks?" Han asked sarcastically. After a bit of hesitation, he added, "It took me until the middle of the night to remember what she had for breakfast. Stupid game. Leia never did tell me what the women wanted from us."
"Dinner at the Starlayne," Corran replied miserably. "I would have taken her ten times if only we wouldn't have appeared on that dumb holoshow. This is all your fault," he grumbled, looking at Wedge and Luke. "I didn't want to appear on the holothon, but you guys made me."
"It was our wives' decision to go along with Lando's plan," Luke replied. "They would have talked Mirax into it no matter what we had to say."
"I'm going home with a dozen roslin lilies," Wedge informed them. "And I'm taking her out to the Starlayne again. This time I'm paying the credits, instead of accepting Lando's gift."
"It wasn't supposed to turn out that way," Lando's quiet voice spoke from behind Wedge. The men looked up at a sheepish Lando. "Wes set us all up... you've got to believe me."
"How did you find us here?" Corran asked, annoyed.
"I called your homes, and Iella told me where you went."
The men turned their glares at Wedge, who held up his hands defensively. "So I left a note... big deal. She was already mad enough at me, and I didn't want to make things worse." Wedge glanced up at Lando. "What I still can't believe is that you'd accept help from Wes Janson in any way, shape or form. Haven't you heard enough about all the stunts he's pulled?"
"I don't hang around with you Rogues that much. And I don't remember him being the one that caused all the trouble at your bachelor party." Lando looked pointedly at Luke. "In fact, he helped take care of those Imps that tried to crash your wedding."
"Maybe he was saving all his mischief for an occasion just like this," Corran suggested. "And someone just handed him the occasion on a silver platter."
"A fact I'll be regretting forever," Lando lamented.
"We can't blame Lando entirely," Luke conceded. "We were the ones that told Wes about the holothon in the first place."
"Don't you Rogues know loose lips shoot down ships?" Han complained, glowering at Luke, Wedge and Corran before turning his attention back to Lando. "How'd the riot go last night after we took off? I hope you got arrested."
"It wasn't really a riot," Lando explained. "Only a scuffle between Karrde and Terrik. And a bit of a tiff with Prince Isolder and his wife. No one got arrested, and things calmed down pretty quickly."
"Too bad," Han grumbled.
"You'll be thrilled to know the Coruscant Philanthropic Aid Society's board is holding a meeting later today to decide if they're going to 'go in a different direction,' as they so nicely put it," Lando informed the men. "I'm a victim here, too."
"Isn't that what you said on Bespin?" Han shot back hotly.
"It was true then, and it's true now," Lando replied defensively.
"We're going to have to live with the fallout, too, you know," Corran told the Baron, rubbing at his sore neck. "We already have lived with it."
"I know." Lando pulled up a chair to the booth. "I've been thinking..."
"Oh, great," Luke complained. "Thinking is what gets us in trouble."
"Gotta agree with that," Han said, nodding. "Thinkin' is downright dangerous."
"Hear me out, gentlemen. You want to get back at Janson, and so do I. Those questions were just as embarrassing for me as they were for you - "
"I doubt that," Corran put in.
Lando didn't miss a beat. "You need to get back in your wives' good graces, and I want to help put you there. We can do everything at once."
"What does this involve?" Luke asked suspiciously.
"Another free meal at the Starlayne."
Han started shaking his head. "Uh uh. No way. Not again."
"Wait a second," Corran told the group. "If that's what Mirax wants, that's what she's getting."
Grinning, Lando leaned forward and lowered his voice. "Wes has no idea you guys know about his involvement, and I can keep it that way. At least until after we're done."
"Done with what?" Wedge questioned.
"First of all, has any of you told Janson about the fact I own the Starlayne?"
"No," Wedge muttered, looking around as the others shook their heads negatively.
"Good... good. Now listen carefully..."
Leia's apartment... later that morning.
Tendra smiled. "Thank you for agreeing to see me. I didn't know if you would."
"Tendra!" Iella objected. "Why wouldn't we want to see you?"
"After yesterday..."
"Nonsense," Leia told her. "That wasn't your fault."
"It wasn't Lando's fault, either," Tendra said quietly. "He was too trusting. Couldn't you tell he didn't know?"
"I could tell," Mara admitted reluctantly. "But I was too upset at the time to care."
"Anyway," she smiled brightly. "That's why I'm here. Lando's with your husbands right now - "
"Oh, no," Mirax grumbled. "How'd he find out where they went?"
Iella looked uncomfortable. "I might have told him..."
"This could only mean more trouble," Leia said, shaking her head.
"No.. it's not what you're thinking," Tendra objected, then frowned. "Well, I don't know what you're thinking, but it's probably not correct, anyway. Lando really wants to get back at Wes, and we need your help. All of you."
"What do you want us to do?" Mara asked, not sure if she wanted to hear the answer.
"Are you still angry with your husbands?"
"No, I'm not mad at Luke," Mara told her honestly. "How can I be? He's such a farmboy at heart. I don't think he answered any of those questions to try and make me angry."
Leia shook her head. "As much as I'd like to make Han squirm a bit for that lame love-slave plot, I just can't stay mad either."
"I never really was angry at Wedge," Iella confessed. "Making him sleep on the sofa was a matter of principle."
Mirax laughed. "I'm not mad at Corran anymore, either. I'd like to keep pretending that I am, but he's a Jedi, so it won't work."
"Good!" Tendra declared. "Then you won't object to going back to the Starlayne? It will be free, of course."
"I'd love to go," Mirax said happily.
"Free?" Mara questioned, eyes narrowing. "That's what you said last time."
"True," Tendra agreed. "But this time it comes with an extra perk."
"What kind of perk?" Leia asked.
"Payback," Tendra replied, her voice lowering into a whisper. "Lando has a plan."
Leia smiled. "Tell us about this plan. We'd love to hear it."
A day later...
Sitting at his desk, Wedge grinned as Wes Janson walked in his office. "Haven't seen you much lately, Wes." He indicated the pilot should sit down. "What've you been up to?"
Wes shifted on his chair, worried about this meeting. Surely Lando had told Wedge and the others he was responsible for writing those embarrassing questions, and now he was going to get a lecture by his superior officer. "Not much, sir. Why?"
"Staying out of trouble?"
"Of course," Janson replied quickly.
"Good." Wedge nodded. "I'd like to ask you for a little favor. Really, Luke asked me to ask you. No...actually, Mara asked Luke, who asked me to ask you."
Frowning in confusion, Wes said, "Huh?"
"Corran's wedding anniversary is coming up in a few days. Did you know that?"
"No," Wes answered, wondering why he needed to remember when Corran's anniversary was.
"And it's a big one. Fifteen years... can you believe they've been married fifteen years already?"
"Time flies," Wes muttered, trying to remember how long ago the Horns had celebrated number ten. Had it been five years already?
"Yes, it sure does. So anyway, fifteen is a big deal, and Corran and Mirax are throwing a little dinner party at the Starlayne."
"Really?" Wes asked, perking up a bit since this seemed to have nothing at all to do with the holothon. It appeared Lando - for some unexplained reason - hadn't told anyone about his involvement with the holothon. Wes decided he'd have to thank Lando later. Maybe take him out to Dex's Diner for lunch. "Corran might have to sell some of that special Jedi blood to pay for this dinner."
Wedge laughed. "It's not that many people, really. Just a few close friends. Me and Iella, Han and Leia, and of course Luke and Mara."
"Sounds nice. What does this have to do with me?"
"Well, this is where the problem comes in," Wedge said, shaking his head in dismay. "Mara's friend from her days on the Wild Karrde is visiting the Skywalkers, and they don't want to leave her sitting alone while everyone else is out having a good time. That's not a good way to treat company."
"Mara has friends?" Wes asked, amazed.
"Of course she does," Wedge snapped. "What kind of question is that?"
"I didn't mean anything by it," Wes explained lamely. "She just seems like the sort that wouldn't be chummy with girlfriends."
"Iella and Mirax are her friends," he pointed out. "And so is Leia."
"Well... sorry. What does this have to do with me?" he asked again.
"Shirlee is coming to the dinner, and Mara wants her to have a date."
Wes jumped up from his chair. Maybe he was wrong about Lando keeping his mouth shut. "A blind date? You're setting me up on a blind date? How... humiliating!"
"Humiliating?" Wedge said through clenched teeth, trying to keep calm. Wes was worried about a date being humiliating, after everything he'd put them through? "Shirlee will feel uncomfortable unless she has a dinner companion."
"What if I say no?"
General Antilles gave a wan smile, leaning back in his seat. "No? Are you sure? Because I guess I can find someone else..."
"Good. You do that."
"And you can always go on this next mission," Wedge continued, shuffling some flimsies around. "I was wondering who I should send to pick up Ambassador Quobett and his entourage from Nal Hutta. I guess the job is yours."
"Quobett?"
"Quobett the Hutt," Wedge clarified. "It says here his entire family wants to see Coruscant, and you can be their escort after they arrive. Eighteen of them, it looks like," Wedge continued, looking at the flimsy.
"Eighteen Hutts? You want me to be a tour guide to eighteen Hutts?"
"They'll only be here six days, not counting the travel time." Wedge smiled. "Be polite to them, Wes."
"What if I agree to the blind date?" he asked desperately. "Do I have to go to Nal Hutta then?"
"Of course not. You won't have time."
"I'll be Shirlee's date," Wes agreed, thinking that a few hours wouldn't kill him, even if it turned out she was ugly as a rancor. "I'd love to be Shirlee's date, in fact."
"I'm sure Shirlee will be thrilled."
Two days later...
The private room held one large, round table with ten place settings. Soft music played over the hidden speakers, and the muted lighting gave the room a soft, warm glow. Wes stuck his head inside, noting the couples had already broken up into two groups... the men standing on one side, discussing the latest Corellian corvettes specifications, and the women near the window, holding glasses of sparkling wine, listening as Leia discussed the political climate.
Luke noticed Wes first. "Come in..." he said, waving his friend over. "We've been waiting for you."
"Sorry I'm late," Wes muttered as he entered the room. "I couldn't decide what to wear." This was a complete lie, since the real reason had been Wes's fear over meeting his blind date. What if she looked like a Gamorrean? Not that there was anything wrong with being a Gamorrean...as long as you were another Gamorrean.
"Nice ya could finally make it," Han called out to Wes. "I thought I was gonna have to start chewin' the candlesticks, I was gettin' so hungry."
The women turned around, then headed over to their husbands, Mara leading the way with a woman Wes had never seen before.
"Wes... I'd like you to meet my friend, Shirlee Faughn," Mara said by way of introduction. "She works for Talon Karrde."
"Uh..." Wes stuttered, holding out his hand. The woman was stunning. Blonde and tall... everything he fantasized about. "Hi."
"Hello," Shirlee replied, politely taking his hand. "It's very nice to meet you."
"Uh..."
"You already said that," Corran informed the dazzled Wes. "Why don't we sit down and order?"
"Oh... um..." Wes turned to look at Corran. "Congratulations."
"For what?"
"Isn't it your anniversary?"
Mirax laughed. "Of course it is. Corran is just teasing." She glared at her husband. "Aren't you?"
"Yes. I'm just the galaxy's biggest tease." He took his wife's arm, then moved to the table.
The meal was every bit as elaborate and lovely as the first time, and Han had barely finished his last bite when Leia's holocomm went off. "Yes?" she answered. Then she leaned her ear close to the soft speaker, listening carefully. "Okay, Threepio, we'll be right there." Leia smiled apologetically at the group. "Han and I have to go home. Threepio says the children ate all the desserts in the house, and won't go to bed. His exact words were... 'they seem to have overcharged on sugar.'"
"I told you we should have left them with Chewie," Han grumbled as he stood up and pulled Leia's chair out. "Can't trust Goldenrod alone with the kids for a few hours. Something always happens."
"Sorry we have to leave so soon, Corran and Mirax. Happy anniversary, though."
"No problem," Mirax told her. "Just go home and tame the wild beasts."
"Now let's cut the dessert," Corran said as the waiter brought over a huge, frosted cake as the Solos left.
Wedge held his stomach. "I think I'm feeling a bit, err... off."
"Are you alright, honey?" Iella questioned worriedly.
"No... I think I'm going to be sick." He leaned over, gagging loudly.
Iella looked at Mirax, her face unhappy. "Wedge has such a sensitive stomach. He always gets woozy when he eats rich food." She helped her husband to his feet and they staggered away.
Corran waved goodbye to the couple. "You go home and get well, Wedge. Thanks for coming."
He served the cake in large portions to the three remaining couples, and they continued the meal. After they were finished, Mirax stood. "I need to use the refresher."
Mara quickly got up. "I'd like to go, too. Shirlee? Would you like to come with us?"
"Sure," she answered. The three women exited the room, leaving Corran, Luke and Wes staring at each other.
"Why do women always go to the refresher in groups?" Wes finally asked.
"It's like their bladders are on matching timers," Corran agreed. They made polite small talk about the weather for nearly a quarter of an hour.
"I wonder what's taking them so long? I'm going to go check," Luke announced. "I'll be right back."
Wes smiled nervously at Corran. "Looks like it's just us."
"Oh, joy," Corran muttered. They remained silent for long minutes.
Then the waiter stuck his head in the room. "Mister Horn? May I speak to you about..." He looked around. "You know."
"Sure," Corran said. Then he looked at Wes. "Don't set the place on fire while I'm gone, Janson." Corran followed the waiter out of the room.
Wes waited. And waited. And waited some more. Finally, he stood up, and paced around the room. Where was everyone for so long? He stuck his head out of the door into the common dining area. It was getting late and the number of guests had dwindled to half a dozen occupied tables. He couldn't see Corran or Luke anywhere. Their waiter approached him, a white towel across his sleeve. "May I help you, sir?"
Wes coughed. "Um... I was wondering where everyone went."
"Everyone, sir?"
"You know... all the people in my party."
"Oh. They left."
"Left?" Wes asked, astounded. "When?"
"Nearly half an hour ago."
"They left me sitting alone in that room?" Wes questioned, annoyed. "What about my date? That was just plain rude!"
"I can't speak for your date, sir."
"Fine, then. I'm leaving too." He started to push past the waiter, but the man stopped him.
"You can't leave yet, sir."
"What'ya mean, I can't leave? Why not?"
"The bill," the waiter explained. "It hasn't been paid yet."
"This wasn't my party!" Wes objected loudly, causing the restaurant's patrons to turn and stare at him. "Why should I pay?"
"It truly doesn't matter to me whether it was your party, or not. You're the last one here, and the bill has not been paid. Therefore, you are responsible."
"No way!"
"What's going on here, Peron?" a familiar voice spoke from behind Wes.
"Lando? What are you doing here?"
"This is my establishment, Janson," Lando said coolly. "I'm the owner."
"Thank the gods," Wes breathed out. "Saved!"
"This man is the only remaining member of a large dinner party," the waiter named Peron explained to his boss. "And he refuses to pay the bill."
"You have to pay, Janson," Lando informed the pilot. "I'm not running a free meal clinic here."
"Are you kidding me?"
"Do I look like I'm kidding?"
"But... what about all that work I did for you! Free...for nothing! Can't you consider us even?" Wes pleaded.
"Even?" Lando repeated tightly. "You nearly cost me my position as director of the Coruscant Philanthropic Aid Society. It took all my considerable talents to convince them I was innocent in that little prank you pulled. Now...pay the bill, Janson."
The waiter thrust a small electronic reader at the pilot, who stared at the amount with his mouth hanging open. "Six thousand credits? SIX THOUSAND CREDITS? I can't pay this amount! I can't even pay a third of that!"
"Too bad," Lando said, stroking his mustache thoughtfully. "That means you'll have to work off the debt to the Starlayne. Since I use only the finest porcelain and crystal, you can start by washing the dishes. You can't stick those delicate items in a recycler, you know...they must be carefully hand washed and dried, or the finish gets ruined."
"You... want me to wash dishes?" Wes gasped, his eyes wide.
"At ten credits an hour... and if you come in every night for eight hours..." Lando paused, mentally calculating. "You should be in the clear in eleven weeks."
"ELEVEN WEEKS!"
"That's without giving Peron a tip," Lando pointed out. "And if you refuse, I'll call security and you'll be digesting your food inside a cell for quite some time. I hear prison grub is really bad, but at least you'll have good memories of this fine, last meal as a free man. I will press charges, believe me."
"YOU PLANNED THIS!" Wes screeched out, as he suddenly realized he'd been set-up. "THIS WAS ALL PLANNED BY YOU AND... AND THOSE..."
"Perfect pairs?" Lando filled in, smiling.
In the Solo apartment...
"Don't you feel a little bit bad about what we did to Wes?" Leia called out from the refresher.
Han laughed, folding down the bedspread. "Are you kidding me? It wasn't nearly enough payback." He frowned as the lights dimmed, turning around to see his wife's slender body framed in the refresher door. "What are you wearing?"
She stepped forward, smiling as Han's mouth dropped open. "My slave-girl costume. I haven't worn this in a long time, have I?"
"But..." Han's protest was halted as Leia grabbed him, and they both went tumbling onto the mattress. After a long, breathtaking kiss, Han leered at his wife as he unbraided her hair. "Why?"
"You got all dressed up to go to the Starlayne again," she whispered in a sultry voice. "I figured it was time for my payback. Your very own love-slave for the night."
"That sounds like a pretty good deal to me, sweetheart."
She nibbled on his earlobe, then whispered, "Maybe I can show you how deadly my tongue can really be..."
"Don't stop now," Han warned her with a moan. "Or I will cry."
In the Skywalker apartment...
Mara gave her friend a hug. "Thanks a million for going along with that, Faughn. I owe you one."
"I saw the holo-show, Jade. Why do you think I agreed so fast to help you? It was the best entertainment I've had in ages. We recorded a copy on the Starry Ice to play at company parties." Faughn laughed at Mara's worried look. "Don't worry, I'm kidding. And the only thing you still owe me for is scoffing when I said you and Skywalker here make a good team." She eyed Luke. "Maybe you can just name your firstborn after me."
When Luke's eyes widened, Faughn shook her head and smiled. "You'd better learn more about your wife, Skywalker. Next time she might not be so forgiving." Giving them both a wink, she turned and left.
Luke sighed. "I'm glad that's finally over. I still feel guilty about sticking Wes with that huge bill. It wasn't even Corran and Mirax's anniversary."
"Luke, Luke," Mara said, shaking her head. "You are such an innocent farmboy."
"Innocent?" Luke protested. "I'll have you know I didn't wear anything under my Jedi robes tonight."
"You are such a liar."
With an exaggerated flourish, Luke peeled off his outer robes, letting them drift to the floor. "Calling your husband a liar isn't nice," he said, relishing Mara's shocked expression. He stretched his arms out to the side, posing. "And you're taking another good, long look, too."
Mara glared at him, then starting stalking toward him. "Just wait until I catch you," she threatened as Luke took off toward the bedroom, with Mara in hot pursuit.
Luke laughed as his wife caught him around the waist. "Then what, Moonie-dew?"
"I'm going to make you my love slave," Mara declared, kissing him.
I already am, Luke thought as they collapsed onto the soft bed.
THE END
Another BIG GIANT THANKS to Jedi-2B for helping write this story!
