Author's Note:
Hullo there!
This story is part of the Sugar n' Spice, Valentijn Evenement 2021, Theme 1: Sweet and Romantic; Ratings: K+ to T+.
Make sure to check out every single one of the fantastic authors who are a part of this event, along with myself: Alastair, AsgardianHobbit98, Damnyousillygoose, RavenStyx, HisagiKirigakure, Iceburg-sanCPX, Kakashi97, Kairomone, Kamil the Awesome, Karkatsbabe, Max333, Nazaki-Sama, NekoPantera, Phoenixreal, Potashiamu, Sailor Silver Ladybug, Seth's Kiss, SerenaJones585, SesshomaruFreak, Spunky0ne and Yatsu Narurasuke. Keep each of the themes and ratings in mind as you see what these wonderful writers can do!
This is a side-story I have based off another fanfiction: Gorgeous Nightmare (written by the wonderful Seth's Kiss.) If you haven't read that one: What are you waiting for, your own demon butler? Go read it! :)
Ciel Phantomhive has ordered (forced) his butler, Sebastian, to go on a dinner date with the being he loathes most of all: Grell Sutcliff. What will happen when you stick a demon and a Grim Reaper in the same room?
Warnings: Crazy Cat People, disgusting Cat Soup, and chainsaws.
For Grell, I have used she/her pronouns, because that's what Grell wants and I have all the respect for her wishes. If you don't like this, find it wrong, anything, you are not forced to read.
I have used italics for where I'm directly quoting Gorgeous Nightmare.
I give Seth's Kiss all the credit for this idea! Now, on with the story!
"You are the absolute, undeniable worst."
These were the words Sebastian Michaelis said as he looked in the mirror on a Friday evening and waited for what was possibly his own death. And this was coming from a demon who couldn't die.
"I am going to..." Sebastian couldn't even think of a word horrible enough to do justice for the writhing hatred snaking around inside him. He wasn't talking to himself, despite the mirror. He was talking to the beast who had done this to him. Who dared do this to him. Sebastian briefly lost himself in a dream where he made the prey's life an absolute hell—but the fantasy could wait. Would have to wait.
Because the doorbell was ringing.
"I beg your pardon?"
Young Earl Phantomhive's lips slowly curled up into a cruel, yet thoroughly amused, smirk at the tone his butler's voice had taken after clearly hearing the order his master had given him. He did have after all perfect hearing, just like the rest of his so many unearthly, flawless traits.
Sebastian paused outside the door. Here it was: his last, beautiful, fleeting chance to flee the scene, escape from this living nightmare and be forced to find new prey. But no—he had worked far too hard at this foolishness, and perhaps, just perhaps, the young prey's amusement and satisfaction at this would further flavour his delicious soul.
"Very well, Young Master. As per your orders, I shall take out Grell Sutcliffe-san for dinner, as a reward for giving you such priceless information on your latest case. Will that be all?"
"Indeed. You may leave," drawled out the boy coolly with a shooing motion, before smirking "Have a lovely time! And take great care of Sutcliffe-san. She's really looking forward to this."
Sebastian did not answer.
So Sebastian went down. After all, the lives of these humans are mere moments—one evening would slip by in a blink.
How very strange Grell Sutcliff looked, standing awkwardly in the front hall of the mansion and beaming up at him. She seemed to have made a great effort to look as normal as possible; her long scarlet hair was toed back with a fluffy black bow, and the heels of her boots were considerably shorter. She wore a sweeping, long-skirted silk dress, that shimmered with every small step she took, and she had small ruby earrings too—where on earth had she gotten those? A feeble, weak human with their feeble, weak human feelings might've said Grell actually look rather nice. She was, however, holding her Death Scythe.
"Good evening, Miss Sutcliff," Sebastian said, playing nice for now. The prey was nowhere in sight (probably off snickering in his room) and it was best to get out of the house as quick as possible before he lost his temper and initiated a bloody massacre. He descended the stairs and took Grell by the arm, dragging the Reaper out to the waiting carriage. The young Earl had prearranged everything, so at least that was one less thing for Sebastian to worry about. Grell, however, seemed to be at least slightly confused, for she missed the carriage entirely and instead walked into a lamppost.
"Miss Sutcliff, what in heaven and hell are you doing?" Not that heaven was going to help him much, the demon thought ruefully.
Grell blinked a few times, owlish green eyes glowing faintly in the dusk.
"Oh. I see. You aren't wearing your glasses."
Grell grumbled something under her breath about 'Othello', 'stole', and 'nerd'.
"Ah." Apparently it wasn't only Sebastian that Grell infuriated to the point of no return. "Well, the carriage is here." He seized Grell by the arm again, probably not in the most gentle way possible, and shoved her into the carriage. "Let's get on with it."
Grell didn't really seem to notice his complete reluctance, or perhaps she simply did not care. She only stared out of the carriage window, rubbing her arm where Sebastian had dragged her along and blushing furiously. Several times the carriage jolted and Grell nearly toppled into Sebastian's lap—and if that happened, accidental or not, he was simply going to push Grell off of a ten-story building, and screw the contract.
The carriage finally pulled up in front of a very crowded area, people crammed everywhere.
"Must be popular," Grell said from behind Sebastian. "Look at all these souls!" She tripped down the steps of the carriage and stared in amazement at the restaurant. "How are we going to get in?"
"We will walk in an orderly and calm fashio—oh, really?!"
For Grell had pulled out her chainsaw and was now knocking people left and right.
"Grell, can we please avoid causing a massive spectacle?" Sebastian said through his hands, which he had buried his face in.
"Nothing is going to ruin this dinner!" Grell shrieked. "There. Problem solved." She gestured proudly to a clean, straight line to the doors of the restaurant. "Shall we?"
And, shyness forgotten, she took hold of Sebastian's arm and strode neatly into the restaurant.
They took a seat at the back of the restaurant, Grell still looking immensely satisfied with herself. Sebastian ordered wine for her—with any luck, he could get Grell so intoxicated that another Reaper would have to come and drag her home. Grell sipped her wine quietly, keeping her eyes fixed on Sebastian as if worried he was going to make a run for it.
Then Sebastian saw something.
He leapt up instantly, his amazing focus all zooming in on one precise point where a furry tail had slipped into the kitchen. Grell looked puzzled. "What is it?"
"Shh." Sebastian dared not speak. There it was again! He could feel the vibrations from its beautiful purrs! Sebastian abandoned everything, knocked his chair over backwards, and went running after it yes yes must find caaaaat!
"Hey!" Grell chased after him as he burst into the kitchen and scooped it up, cradling it and petting it. Grell crossed her arms. "Wow. I lost to a cat."
The cooks stared at them, looking unsure as whether to run or call the police. The cat was rather uncomfortable with the situation.
"Awww, were they going to hurt you? Nooo, they would never." Sebastian buried his face in the cat's fur.
"Uh, Bassy, your cat's gonna get made into soup if we linger any longer, so let's get out, shall we?"
Sebastian hardly noticed Grell was speaking; it was like a mildly annoying insect was buzzing in his ear. The cat, however, scrambled out of Sebastian's arms and streaked back out of the kitchen.
Sebastian's focus once again narrowed to a vanishing point. He took off again, Grell trying to follow and crashing into tables as they went. They both went crashing through the doors of the restaurant and out into the snowy air, where Sebastian's slit-pupiled eyes slowly dilated once more. The cat was nowhere in sight—but he could hear it!
Sebastian took off again, knocking a pile of cardboard boxes down and scampering after the cat. The cat gave him an indignant mew and extended its claws.
"Nooo, you wouldn't hurt me, would you?" Sebastian crept after the cat, which was backing further into the alleyway. He was vaguely aware that there were things in the world besides the cat, but of course they did not matter. The cat, finally sick of it, hissed sharply.
Sebastian hissed right back. The cat's eyes actually widened and it made a pitiful little noise.
"Sebastian!" Grell was tugging on his coat. "Sebastian!"
Sebastian turned his head. "What do you want?"
"We forgot—to—pay!" Grell gave an enormous heave and pulled Sebastian up. "Come on!"
Sebastian climbed to his feet. Grell was shivering in the cold air, her face a mix of disapproval and slight amusement. "I never thought you of all people would be rude to a lady, Bassy."
Sebastian sighed. He had had enough for one night, and they hadn't even eaten anything yet. "Forgive me, Miss Sutcliff. I have put you in an unacceptable situation, and failed my duties as a butler." He pulled off his coat, and slung it reluctantly around Grell.
Grell looked as though she was going to nearly explode, but before she could detonate on the spot, she suddenly fell over backwards.
"Miss Sutcliff?"
"Grell SUTCLIFF, HOW DARE YOU ABANDON YOUR REAPER DUTIES!"
William Spears dragged Grell along the ground, away from the restaurant.
"I had a date," Grell said whiningly.
"A date?" Frankly, William seemed more surprised than disbelieving. "Who on Earth would ask..."
He looked up and saw Sebastian. "Ah. Well, you've neglected your duties for the fourth time this month, so I expect you will have to write a letter of apology and get back to it."
"Couldn't I..." Grell slipped out of William's hold and gave him a pleading look. William paused, and then glanced over her head at Sebastian. Sebastian, in his heightened vision, thought he saw a slight bit of—was that a smile?
"Well, I suppose," William said. Then he looked up. And smirked a little at Sebastian.
And while Sebastian was trying to figure out what in hell that meant, Grell seized the opportunity to boing up to Sebastian and kiss him on the mouth.
Sebastian just sighed. There wasn't much hope of pushing the redhaired Reaper away from him, so he just ground his teeth together until she stepped back.
Such an insult to the world of butlerdom.
"Now you're coming with me."
Sebastian did not stick around for long. He gave Grell a short nod (what? He is a butler) and then let his eyes narrow back to scarlet and gave William a look that whispered someday, someday, he would get him back for this.
When he got back to the mansion, the prey was there waiting for him, evidently hoping he would break down and cry.
"Good evening," Sebastian smiled, and began to ascend the stairs to his room.
"Wha—Sebastian? Back so soon?" The young Earl was evidently startled at this cheerfulness. "And is that—oh shit—" He plugged his nose and dashed out of the room, already starting to sneeze like crazy.
He was probably going to suffer for that one, Sebastian thought, but at least the score was even now. As Sebastian continued to walk up the stairs to check on the rest of the staff, he looked over his shoulder at the Earl's room.
"Sleep well...tomorrow, I will be back in control."
The End
