I went into class, feeling pretty good. I was confident that I'd convinced Karissa that the custody suit
was the wrong thing. I was congratulating myself that within the next couple of days, that our lawyer would call,
and tell Adam and Brian that she had withdrawn the suit.
I had the sudden, discomforting realization that I'd forgotten to tell Karissa not to mention it to anyone that I'd come
to see her. I tried to brush that worry away. Surely she wouldn't say anything about the two of us meeting up.
When I went inside the school building, and down the hall to the classroom, Miss Noel was in the middle of
explaining something to the class. I shut the door as quietly as I could so as not to interrupt.
She gave me a small smile and went on talking, as I sat down. I tried to focus, so I could catch up on what
they were doing, since I was late.
When it was break time, everybody stood up, and some went to the hallway to get something from the
vending machines. MIiss Noel came over to my desk, and half-sat on the desk opposite of me.
"Everything okay?" she asked.
I nodded. "Sorry about being late."
"It's alright," she said.
When she didn't say anything else, but just sat there, I felt a little uncomfortable.
"I lost track of time, I guess," I added.
"Sure. It happens."
Then she asked about my day, and if it had been a good one. We chatted for a few minutes, not about anything
really important, and then everybody else came back in, and class began again.
After class was over, I told her goodbye, and walked back out to the parking lot. I was at my truck when one of the
other women from the class called goodbye to me. I called back a goodbye, and that's when I saw that there was
something stuck between my windshield wipers.
I pulled the piece of paper free, feeling a sinking in my stomach.
The note was short. To the point. And in Karissa's neat handwriting.
"I can make no promises. Please understand".
I crumpled the note into a ball angrily, and I began to swear, pounding the hood of the truck with my fist. What was wrong with that woman?
"Harlie?" said a voice from behind me, and I jumped, startled, whirling to see Miss Noel standing there.
"Oh," I said, my heart pounding.
"I didn't mean to scare you," she said. "I heard you yelling. Are you alright?"
"Yes," I said, trying to act rational. "I'm fine."
It was obvious that she saw the paper in my hand, and I felt as though I had to offer some
explanation.
"Just a note that somebody left me," I said.
"Oh," she said, and looked concerned. "A threat or something?"
"No, nothing like that," I said quickly. "Just an annoyance."
I hoped that I sounded convincing, but Miss Noel didn't look as though she was convinced.
"Are you sure? We could call a deputy-"
"Oh, gosh no!" I said horrified. This was rapidly going from bad to worse. "It's really nothing important."
"Well, alright," she said. "But I'll stay with you if you want to talk to an officer. Or we can call your
house-"
"No, please, it's fine," I said, growing desperate.
"Alright," she said, again.
"I'll see you next week," I said, trying to sound casual, and she nodded.
I started to get into the truck, and then turned to her. I didn't know her very well. Not very well at all. So
I wasn't sure how to judge her demeanor. Or if she was the type of person that would find this odd enough to
tell Crane about.
"Would you not say anything?" I asked her. "I mean, it's nothing really. And Crane will just get worried."
For a moment, she didn't answer, and then she said, "Is it something that Crane should be worried about,
Harlie?"
That's when I knew I was in trouble. Another 'maybe sister-in-law'. I hadn't realized how simple my life
had been when it was just Hannah.
"No, it's nothing," I said again.
"Well, drive safely," she said, and began to walk to her own car, parked a distance away.
I had to be satisfied with that for an answer. I sighed, and heaved myself into the truck seat, shutting the
door, and putting on my seat belt. I straightened out the crumpled note, folded it, and shoved it in my pocket, along with
the two twenty dollar bills that she'd given me earlier.
I headed towards home, feeling a headache coming on. I opened my bag of food that I'd packed from home,
realizing that I hadn't eaten much of the salad at the pizza parlor. I ate my sandwich, and the peach that I'd
packed. Thoughts of the entire evening kept running thru my mind. What could I have done differently, I wondered?
What could I have said to convince Karissa? In frustration, I pounded the steering wheel. All the trouble I'd gone to,
to plan for the evening, and all the lies I'd told, and what had it really accomplished?
At home, I parked, and shut off my headlights, gathering up my books and backpack, and going up the porch
steps. Somebody had left the porch light on for me, and when I stepped inside, it was warm, and I realized that
I'd been feeling chilly without even noticing. I'd left my jacket in Karissa's car.
Fantastic, I thought sarcastically. My brain was out to lunch.
Hannah and Adam were sitting on the couch, close to each other, and both of them were reading. Adam a newspaper, and
Hannah a magazine.
"Hi, sweetie," Hannah greeted me. "Leave the porch light on. Evan's not home yet."
"Okay," I said, closing the front door.
"How was class tonight?" Hannah asked then, laying her magazine to the side.
"It was good."
"Did you get all your homework done at the library?" Adam asked.
"No, not all of it," I said.
"You ate though, right?" Hannah asked.
"Yes. I ate. I think I'll grab something else, though."
"There's some leftover chicken in the fridge," she told me.
"Okay." I headed towards the kitchen. I really was still hungry, and besides that, I knew if I said
I was going to eat more, that it would deflect any unwanted attention about anything else.
In the kitchen, I laid my books and backpack on the kitchen table, and washed my hands, and then
opened the refrigerator, pulling out a chicken leg, and pouring myself some juice.
I took care of my diabetes shot, and then went up the back stairs, carrying my glass, and the chicken,
and all my other stuff, too.
I was in my pajamas, and finishing my snack, cross-legged on my bed, and trying to finish my English worksheet.
There was a light tap on my door, and when I answered, Adam opened the door, coming in.
"Get your snack?" he asked, and I nodded, pointing to my chicken.
"Alright." He gave my homework a glance. "Put that away, and get to sleep. You can do it in the morning."
"Okay," I said, shoving my stuff together, and laying it on the floor in a stack.
He leaned over and kissed the top of my head. When he told me goodnight and went out, I let out a
sigh. It was hard being around Adam right then, knowing what he would say, or think, if he knew that I'd
contacted Karissa. And what good had it done me, anyway?
7
The next morning, I ate, and then tried to finish my homework. I was still working on it while riding to
school with Guthrie.
"I may shoot some hoops again today after school for awhile," Guthrie said.
"Okay," I said, without looking up from my work.
"Lately all you've been doin' is homework," Guthrie said.
"I have to get my grades up. I'm not a born genius like you are," I said, only half-joking.
When Guthrie brought up Miss Noel, I was startled.
"What do you think of her?" he was asking me.
"Why are you asking that?" I asked, giving him my full attention.
"It's just a question."
"She's nice," I said cautiously.
"She sure is pretty," Guthrie said.
There was no denying that, so I shrugged. "Yep."
"I think Crane really likes her."
"You mean, like he's serious about her, you think?" I asked.
Guthrie shrugged. "I dunno. It's hard to tell with Crane. But he seems like he might be."
"Hmm," I said, in thought.
7
That afternoon when Guthrie and I got home from school, most everybody was in the south field, on horseback,
rounding up the calves. Even Hannah was there, perched atop of old Charlie.
"You kids come help!" Brian called to us.
From where we stood, I made a gesture down myself, reminding him I still had on school clothes. Brian waved
a hand to say not to worry about it.
Guthrie and I went to saddle our horses, and rode out to help. As it always is when I'm on horseback, I was
able to forget for a bit about my worries.
When we all finished, and trooped inside the house, we were met with the appealing smell of roast, and Clare came
forward to greet everybody, giving Brian a quick kiss, and holding Isaac in her arms.
"Supper's ready whenever you all are," she said.
"It smells good," Adam told her, with a smile.
We all went to wash up, and eat supper. I ate two bowls of the beef stew, and a roll. I slathered jelly on the
roll, and was in the midst of my first bite of it when Hannah said, "I did a load of your laundry today," to me.
"Okay. Thanks," I told her.
"I checked your pockets before I washed your jeans," she said.
I met her eyes then, feeling panicked. "Oh."
"I put the money in your dresser drawer," she said, and began to eat again.
"Okay." I hesitated, watching her face.
Hannah would know full well that I hadn't had an opportunity to earn any money in a very long while.
And she would wonder what that cryptic message in the note meant, although she hadn't mentioned that.
I bit at my lip, wondering how to ask her about the note.
"I put the note in the drawer, too," Hannah said, her blue eyes flicking over me.
"Okay," I said. "Thank you."
"You're welcome," she said, and I could hear so much else in those two little words.
I felt my face turn hot, but Hannah didn't say anything else. She went on eating, and talking to Evan on her
other side.
After supper, I checked the dishwashing chart. I wasn't on, so I made my escape upstairs. I had to think things
out. I was in my bedroom, after my shower, and I'd left my bedroom door open.
"Hey," Adam said, from the doorway.
"Hi," I said, looking up.
He looked serious. Thoughtful. I felt my stomach knot up. Had Hannah told him about the note?
"I wanted to talk to you for a couple of minutes," he said.
"Okay," I said, picking up my pillow and clutching it to my chest.
Adam sat down on the edge of my bed. "We got a call today from John," he said.
The knot in my stomach grew tighter.
"What's wrong?" I asked.
"The two lawyers have suggested that we have a meeting with Karissa."
"Why?"
"I'm not sure. She contacted her lawyer today, I guess, and told him she'd like to meet with us, and so John
called, and asked Brian and I what we thought about it."
For a moment I was silent, not knowing what to think.
"Why would she want to meet, though?" I asked.
"I don't know, sugar," Adam said. "I guess we'll find that out."
"You're going to go?" I asked, alarmed.
Adam gave me a puzzled look. "Well, yeah. Going off of what John said, we might as well."
"But what if she just wants to-" I hesitated, "to fight or something?"
"Well, then we'll just get up and walk out. Besides, I'm sure that her lawyer won't encourage that."
I hugged the pillow tighter to me. In my head, I was trying to figure out why Karissa would have
suggested this meeting. And today of all days? It was just too much of a coincidence that it happened so
soon after last night's debacle.
Adam, misunderstanding my look of worry, gave my knee a pat. "Don't look so scared," he said.
"Well, but-" I began, and then stopped talking.
"But, what?" Adam prompted.
I shrugged. "I don't know," I mumbled, looking at him. Part of me wished that he could just read my mind,
and know everything, and thus free me from the guilt I was feeling. But the rational part of me, the part that knew
I could confess to him on my own, that part was speaking loudly to my conscience.
But, in the end, I just didn't have the courage to face his wrath.
"Nothing," I said.
"Don't get all worked up about it," Adam said, getting to his feet. "I'm sure it'll be fine."
"When is it?" I asked tremulously. "The meeting?"
"Saturday morning."
"What time do we have to go?" I asked then.
"There's no 'we'," Adam said. "It's Brian and I. Not you."
"Oh." I wasn't sure if that was good, or bad.
"I just wanted you to know what was going on," Adam said, and gave me a half-smile.
"Okay."
He left, and I sat there, not able to concentrate on any of my homework after that. I just sat, and got more and
more worked up, and worried. I finally gave up, and went downstairs, passing thru the living room, where Evan
and Guthrie were watching a western movie on television.
I went to the kitchen, and found Clare and Brian there, Brian at the stove, pouring hot chocolate into two cups.
"Hi, toots," Clare greeted me.
I said hi, and Brian turned to ask, "Want some hot chocolate?"
I nodded in agreement, and he told me to get myself a cup from the cabinet.
I did that, and set it on the counter by the stove.
"I'm heading upstairs," Clare was saying.
"I'll be up in a couple of minutes," Brian told her. He poured steaming hot chocolate into my cup, and
set the empty pan in the sink, running water in it.
"There you go," he told me.
"Thanks," I said, picking up the cup, and blowing on it.
I watched Brian out of the corner of my eye, trying not to be obvious about it.
"Adam told me about the meeting with Karissa," I began.
"Yep." He gave me a look. "Just another hurdle to get over."
I bit at my lip. "I guess," I said.
Brian leaned against the counter, sipping at his drink.
"Bri?"
"What?"
"If a person does something, and their motives for doing it are right, does it sort of cancel out the wrong
part of it?"
Brian gave me a full-on look, that suggested I was somewhat loony.
"Come again?" he said, raising an eyebrow.
"Well, I mean, if a person does something that wasn't necessarily the right thing, but they do it to
protect someone else from being hurt, that makes it not be so bad, doesn't it?"
Brian's eyebrow went up another notch. "Clear as mud," he said drily, and then added, "Has some wrong
been done?"
I shrugged, watching him over the top of my cup.
"I get the feelin' that you're tryin' really hard to tell me something, peach," he said.
When I didn't say anything, he said, "Am I right?"
"Maybe."
Brian put his cup in the sink, and said, "Why don't you just tell me, whatever it is? Instead of doing
this twenty questions thing."
"Maybe because I'm worried to tell you," I admitted.
"How come?" he asked.
"I don't want you to be mad at me," I said, really quietly.
"And you think I'll be mad, huh?"
I nodded at him.
"What is it, Harlie?" he asked, sounding impatient.
I looked at his face, and suddenly the last few days seemed overwhelming to me. I felt my eyes fill
with tears.
"This whole thing is getting to me, Bri!" I said emotionally. "Every day it's something else about it!
Every single day!"
Brian sat down in one of the kitchen chairs. "Comere," he told me, patting his knee.
"Clare's waiting for you," I said. "I shouldn't be bothering you."
"Harlie," he said, and then added firmly, "Come here."
I came closer, and he took the cup of hot chocolate out of my hand, and set it on the table, and then
tugged me down to sit on his knee.
"No more hem hawing around," he said. "What's up?"
I began to cry full out. "I did something," I burst out.
"What?"
"I didn't stay in town to go to the library last night-I did it so I could talk to Karissa!" The words poured out in a burst.
I'd surprised him. I could tell. His eyes glittered and his jaw set in a hard line.
"Harlie," he said, in a drawn out way.
"She's hurting you! You and Adam! I can't stand hearing Adam talk that way!"
"Hearing him talk what way?"
"I heard you guys talking on the porch," I admitted, swiping at my wet cheek.
As it dawned on Brian what I was talking about, he said, "That was a private conversation, Harlie."
"I know! I didn't mean to listen!"
He sighed, and then said, "So you called her? Met up with her?"
I nodded.
"Where?" he asked then.
"In the school parking lot."
Brian was giving me a full-out look, his eyes snapping a little, and I felt my stomach knot tighter.
I gave way to more tears, thinking it wouldn't hurt to cry. Maybe it would soften him up.
"And how did that work out for you?" he asked. "Did you get her mind changed for her?"
I mumbled 'no' under my breath, and he popped my leg, as near to my behind as he could reach.
"Answer me," he commanded.
"No," I said, more clearly, and meeting his eyes. "Sir," I added, hoping it would help.
"Save that sir stuff," he told me. He gave me a hard look. "This isn't good," he said.
"I did it for you," I defended myself. "You and Adam! I don't want you hurt!"
"Whatever spin you put on it, it was still the wrong thing to do," he said. "You were told not to
do it. So, besides not minding us, you lied in order to get it done."
I twisted my hands together, watching his face.
"Why'd you decide to tell me?" he asked.
I shrugged, not wanting to answer, and he said, "Because you figured Karissa might just happen to mention
it on Saturday. Am I right?"
I reached out to fiddle with a button on his shirt, not meeting his eye. "I was gonna tell anyway. I know I
shouldn't have lied about it."
"Nope, you shouldn't have."
"And I know how you feel. About lying, I mean." I risked a look up at him again. "I just wanted it to be over!"
He was watching me, looking stern and angry, and I felt my stomach tighten in nerves.
"Are you going to kill me?" I asked.
"You might wish I had," he said, and my eyes teared up again.
Brian gave me a push, and I stood up. He stood up, too, and I suddenly felt really small. Like a little girl,
almost. Before I lost my nerve, I pressed my face into his chest.
"Try to understand why I did it," I pleaded.
"Harlie, for God's sake, I understand that." He reached out, and tipped my chin up. "I know it's been
real tough for you. But that's why you have Adam and I to deal with things. And when we tell you somethin',
you need to trust what we say." His hand tightened on my chin. "And obey us. Even when it's hard."
"Okay." I swallowed hard. "I'm sorry."
"Go to bed," he said, taking his hand from my chin. "It's late, and I'm beat. We'll talk about it some more this weekend."
"Adam's gonna be so mad at me," I said, thru my tears.
"No doubt," Brian agreed curtly. "Why should I have all the fun?"
7
