Tap tap.

I paused in confusion, halfway through my braid.

I swear I just heard something...

Tap tap tap.

There! That! What the hell...? I poked my head out of my bathroom door and looked at the window suspiciously.

Are one of the turtles–?

TAP TAP TAP TAP.

Yep, that must be Leo. I cursed and dropped my hands from my wet hair to quickly raise the blinds and open the window before Olivia could hear anything.

"Leo, I–" I stopped, my jaw hitting the floor upon seeing a red bandana instead of a blue one. Raphael raised a brow at me but didn't comment on it. I wanted to die when I felt rose creep up my cheeks.

I never blush in front of him, what the hell is up with me!? Raph glanced over me with a smirk.

"That's cute." I looked down at myself in horror. I wore only black boy shorts and a lavender camisole that was hiked up above my belly button, probably from lifting my arms to do my hair. This time, I cursed verbally and hastily grabbed the biggest hoodie I owned from it's place hanging on the wall, then threw it on. He snickered at my reaction, making my face flush further. I pushed hair from my face and crossed my arms, waiting for an explanation from him. He just stared back at me with an amused expression, his chin propped on his arms, which rested on my window sill.

At last, he blinked and I grinned triumphantly.

"Ha! I win!" Raph scowled.

"You win what?"

"The staring contest," I stated simply, dropping my hands into my hoodie pocket.

"What staring contest?"

"The one we just–ugh. Never mind." Raph narrowed his eyes in confusion at me, and I sighed. "Okay, can you just get in here already? It's weird seeing just your head sitting in my window." He smirked and carefully climbed inside, giving me a chance to slap some sense into myself while he wasn't focused on me.

I plopped down onto my bed and crossed my legs, watching as Raphael sat in my desk chair and looked up at me in concern.

What's he suddenly so concerned about? I was about to ask as much but he spoke before I could.

"Are you okay? Did they hurt you?" I narrowed my eyes at him in confusion.

"What do you–ohhhh! Right!" The Footclan! Somehow, I'd completely forgotten about my little scuffle with them.

"No, I'm fine. They didn't really do anything to me, but I'll definitely be pounding a few heads in if I ever seem them again," I muttered, thinking of that Footclan girl. His entire being relaxed as he let out a huge breath of relief.

"I didn't get to talk to you last night after I brought you back to the lair. Leo sent you out and you and Donnie were gone before I could catch you." I nodded.

"What was up with him?" Apparently, it was worse than I thought because Raphael's relaxation was instantly replaced with fury.

Shit. Bad idea, Raiya. Bad idea!

"He was mad at me for letting you run into the Footclan and get hurt," he growled.

"I'm fine though!" I protested. What is with Leo being so overprotective of me! It's sweet, but he's gotta chill sometimes! He snorted and rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, well we didn't know that cuz he was too busy yelling at me." I bit my lip and glanced down at my hands in my lap.

"Sorry, that's my bad. I didn't mean to get lost, I just zoned out on my way home and I ended up near the docks and it all went to hell from there." I looked up at him apologetically. "I'm really sorry if you got in trouble for anything, it was totally my fault." He shrugged it off like it wasn't a big deal, but I knew that he hated getting yelled at by Leonardo. I inhaled a big breath and continued. "I'm sorry that I'm causing so much shit in your family. I never meant to, but it turns out I'm a shit disturber when I'm around you guys." I shrugged solemnly and propped my elbow on my knee to rest my chin in my upturned palm.

A smile graced my lips when I felt a familiar warmth spread throughout me; one I hadn't felt since Raphael and I had our little falling out and didn't speak with each other. Still smiling, I made eye contact with him and continued.

"I missed talking with you, it's nice. It feels like you haven't spoken to me in forever." Raph glanced away uncomfortably and sighed a long, long sigh.

"I know, I... I'm sorry," he said. I could see the fear in his emerald eyes, the way his muscles remained tense and his breathing was faster than usual—he was scared. It hit me then, that it must've taken an insane amount of courage for him to come to my window and say all this. I couldn't help the way my heart sped up at the thought and my cheeks warmed again.

He noticed my reaction and rubbed his hands over his face with a chuckle.

"You're making this so much harder," he groaned. A laugh escaped me and I fell back onto my bed.

"What am I doing?" I asked throwing my hands up and letting them fall to my side. When he didn't answer, I frowned and propped myself up on my forearms. "Raph?" He shook his head and rubbed his eyes.

"Nothing, you're just... being you." I felt my cheeks beginning to heat up so I fell back and looked up at the roof instead.

"Okay, I'll look at something else if that helps." Raphael remained silent for a long time, but I didn't say anything. I didn't mind. He could take all the time in the world and I would lay there, waiting.

"I'm sorry," he whispered at last. It was a repeat of what he'd already said, but it still held meaning.

"What are you sorry for?" I asked softly, straining to keep myself from looking at him.

"...For being afraid," he sighed. I bit my lip and fiddled with my fingers resting on my chest.

"Raph... being afraid isn't bad, it makes you stronger." His confused silence prompted me to continue. "You were afraid to come here and apologize, weren't you?"

"Yeah," he admitted quietly.

"Well... you're facing that fear right now, and it's making you stronger because now you're not afraid, right?"

"No, I'm still afraid." He chuckled sheepishly and I grinned.

"Well, this big softie once told me that by not facing your fears, it'll make you more and more afraid until it consumes you." I hesitated before sitting up and meeting his fearful gaze. "What are you afraid of?"

"I–I'm afraid of what you'll think of me. I'm afraid that I won't be strong enough to keep you and my family and everyone safe." I opened my mouth to say something, but he wasn't finished.

"I'm sorry I was such an ass to you and I've been too afraid to tell you this before. And I get it if you hate me for it, but I really hope you can forgive me and we can go back to hanging out like we used to. I don't want to lose the only person who's ever really understood me. I like being around you, Raiya. I know I don't show it, but I really do. You just..." He chuckled and shrugged his broad shoulders. "I don't know, you just make me happy somehow." I swear my mouth was going to tear at the corners I was grinning so huge.

"Awwwwww," I sang, tilting my head at him, "you're such a softie." He laughed, using a foot to spin the chair side-to-side aimlessly.

"Thanks, Raiy."

"And guess what?" I sat up and waited for him to ask.

"What?"

"Are you still afraid?" He frowned, his brow knitting together in thought.

"No," he breathed.

"See," I picked up the forgotten strands of my wet hair and began to re-braid them, "now you're stronger." He watched me in amusement.

"What?" I asked, trying not to laugh.

"Why are you braiding your hair right now?"

Really? That's what he's laughing at?

"Because it'll make my hair wavy when I take it out in the morning."

"Really?" He asked in surprise.

"Yes." I laughed. He smiled and spun the chair so it faced my desk. Just as I tied my braid off with an elastic, I remembered something. I jumped up and dashed over to find him flipping through my sketch book.

"Raph!" I went to snatch it from his hands, but he was faster and swiped it out of my reach. "Put it down!" I hissed.

"Why?" He smirked, "got something to hide?"

Yes!

"No!" I tried to take the book from him but he kept his back to me so him and the chair were always between me and my sketchbook.

"Are you sure?" He teased, flipping the page to an old drawing of a falcon.

"Raphael whateverthehellyourlastnameis I swear to god I'm going to kill you." He paused at that.

"I don't have a last name," he repeated, dumbstruck. Recognizing my chance, I lunged desperately. But Raph—with his insane ninja reflexes—effortlessly evaded my attack and kept turning the pages despite my infinite tirade of protests.

"You know, these are really good," he commented, not taking any notice of my attempts to reclaim my sketchbook. I started panicking when I saw one of my drawings of Leo. He was dangerously close to my most recent creation, so I decided to change tactics.

"Raaaaaaph," I pouted, crossing my arms and plopping back onto my bed for emphasis, "you're being mean."

"Oh, am I?" He asked, not buying my little act. When I caught the movement of his fingers turning the page I laid back and groaned, covering my face with my hands in embarrassment. Raphael must've been silent for at least five minutes before saying anything.

"Do I really look like this?" He asked quietly. I couldn't determine from his tone wether or not he wanted an answer, so I didn't say anything. "Raiy?" He prompted.

"Just let me die," I muttered, removing my hands from my face—which was undoubtedly doing a spectacular imitation of a cherry—and sitting up to look at him. He was too busy staring down at the drawing in his hands to notice me though, much to my relief.

"Mikey's gonna be so jealous," he breathed a laugh and looked over at me. He wasn't angry or disgusted or weirded out; he was amused. "This is incredible, it looks just like me!"

God damn it Raiya, say something and make it less awkward! Somehow, I found the courage to speak.

"Almost just like you," I corrected, getting up and walking over. I didn't look at him as I took my sketchbook from his hands and selected a bunch of coloured pencils from a drawer in my desk. "Didn't you notice the lack of irises?" I turned back around, forcing myself to face him. Thankfully, Raphael's amusement had dissipated enough for my cheeks to resume their normal colour.

"What are you doing?" He asked slyly, already knowing the answer.

"Finishing my drawing," I said simply, not missing a beat. "So hold still and don't blink too much."

Raphael's eyes were much more complex than Leo's with their layers of forest green and pale green weaving beneath and overtop of each other to create a bright, olive blanket for the bold streaks of golden yellow and the occasional strike of orange.

He didn't say anything as I worked. He only stared at me.

He's only staring because you need to see his eyes, I kept reminding myself. Every time I glanced up at him to observe his eyes, I held his gaze for longer and longer, and each time it got harder and harder to look away.

He was just so captivating.

It was like looking up into the night sky and seeing the stars so bright and clear for the first time in what felt like years, and you just couldn't look away; It felt as if the darkness was swallowing you up in it's entirety of magnificence.

When I looked in his eyes... it was like I could see the stars again. And I wanted nothing more in my heart than to stargaze.

I swallowed and tore my gaze from his. "Okay," I said, "I'm done." Raphael grinned excitedly and took my sketchbook from me to look at it.

"I thought my eyes were just green," he murmured, eyes wide and staring down at the drawing in amazement. "Do they really look like this?" I laughed at his wondrous expression when he turned to me.

"Yeah."

"That's so cool." He looked back down at it as if he couldn't get enough. "How'd you do this?"

"I-I don't know. It kinda just happens." I shrugged and ran my fingers over my braid, not knowing what to do with them.

"What do your eyes look like?" I completely froze up when he said that.

Uh-oh. Please don't. Nope nope nope nope nope. My breath caught in my throat when he stood from the chair and stepped closer to me.

"Uh, they're just like a blue-grey. Kinda like Mikey's," I squeaked, hoping to deter his intentions, but to no avail.

Raphael set my sketchbook down on my desk I was leaning against and planted both his arms on either side of me so I was trapped. I held my breath as he leaned closer. My heartbeat very closely resembled that of a hummingbird's, and I swear he could hear it.

I tried to say something, but was unable to conjure a single sound. He was so close I could feel his breath warm my face in gentle drafts. His alluring smell filled my nose and made me want nothing more than to be closer.

Closer, my mind begged. It took everything in me to remain still. If I were to move forward even an inch, we'd be dangerously close to kissing. And that was not something I was even remotely prepared for right now. Because if I was being honest, I'd probably die instantaneously from shock if that happened right now. But goddamn was he ever sexy.

His eyes held mine in an infinite, iron grip. I couldn't look away, but I didn't mind. I didn't want to. I felt empowered under his gaze; fearless. So I closed the gap.

My eyes fluttered shut as I leaned forward to rest my forehead against his. If possible, my heart rate seemed to increase tenfold. But this feeling. God, it was like a wildfire spreading from my chest and warming my entire body, setting every nerve-ending aflame with passion and want and... and something foreign. I didn't know what it was, but at the moment I couldn't care less. This. This is what made my life feel complete; like I'd found a piece I'd been missing this whole time.

"Are you still afraid?" I murmured, opening my eyes to meet his.

"Terrified," he breathed, his voice husky and sending tremors down my spine. The moment I saw the smile in his eyes, I laughed. I just couldn't help it! This was so unlike the Raphael I'd thought him out to be!

"What?" He chuckled, pulling away from me and standing up to his full height so he looked down at me instead. "What are you laughing at?"

"You!" I giggled. "Because the Raphael you've been pretending to be would never have done any of this. I'm laughing because it's weird." Still on the Raphael-induced high, I didn't hesitate to stand up on my tiptoes and throw my arms around his neck.

"It's a good thing normal's boring," I murmured into his neck. He took a few moments to respond and wrap his arms around me, pressing my body against his. I could feel his rapid heartbeat and smiled, knowing that I was the cause of it.

"Thank you," I said.

"For what?" He asked in confusion, voice low.

"For showing me the real you," I said softly. Then added, "and for finally growing a pair." His chest vibrated with laughter, causing me to involuntarily shiver in delight.

"Are we good?" He asked.

"Yeah. We're good." I felt his arms tighten around me briefly, before reluctantly releasing me.

"I'll see you tomorrow?" His eyes shone with this newfound certainty; like he was confident in his decision to trust me.

I nodded. "Olivia's going out with that guy she's basically in love with and I don't have flight training until six, so I can hang out with you guys all day."

"Cool. I hope you're better at Call of Duty than you are at Mortal Kombat." My jaw dropped at the playful insult.

"Oh, you'll regret that tomorrow," I promised evilly.

"Good, I'll die if I don't find something interesting to do anyways."

I grinned. "Tell Mikey I'll bring my sketchbook so I can finally draw him like he wanted me to."

"Sounds good." He nodded and turned to climb out my still open window. A cold draft blew in, making me shiver and hug myself against the chill. I strode over to my window and leaned against the sill. But Raphael had only taken a few steps forward when he stopped and quickly wheeled back around to return to my window.

What'd he forget?

"Thanks," was all he said, and it was all that needed to be. I knew. I understood.

When he'd disappeared into the night, I locked my window and pulled the blinds over it. I bit my lip and smiled girlishly to myself as I relived everything that had just transpired, causing my cheeks to blush. I plopped back onto my bed and looked up at the star-spangled ceiling, still in a daze. A nervous yet excited giggle escaped me before I knew what was happening. Gasping—in shock and slight horror—I clapped a hand over my mouth.

Did I just giggle? ...What is going on with me?

AN: I'M ACTUALLY DYING. I JUST I LOVE THIS CHAPTER SO MUCH I COULD LITERALLY DIE. I WAS SQUEALING LIKE THE WHOLE TIME I WROTE THIS I SWEAR. AND PROBABLY MY FAVOURITE LINE LIKE EVER:

"When I looked in his eyes... it was like I could see the stars again. And I wanted nothing more in my heart than to stargaze."

AND I PRESENT TO YOU THE ABSOLUTE BEST FREAKING LINE I HAVE EVER WRITTEN (that's actually just my opinion but I swear it really is lol). It literally summarizes all of Raiya's feelings towards Raph and I know I've said this a lot but I'm gonna say it again cuz I just love it so much. I was so frickin proud of myself when I just whipped this outa nowhere and then I read it over and I was like 'woah man. That's actually PRETTY FREAKING AWESOME!'

Also, I'm gonna update on Wednesdays now cuz Tuesdays are becoming a bit to crazy to handle :)

So yeah.

Thanks a ton to all my readers! I love you guys! It's awesome seeing all the follows and favourites on TSS!

And of course my reviewers! You guys are AWESOME and it's probably my fav thing to see all the review notifications and hear your thoughts! I appreciate it so much :D :D

I'm SUPER excited to hear what you guys thought of this somewhat cliché yet ridiculously cute chapter!