A week later

Dean and I would avoid each other whatever Sam leaves the room. We pretended that everything was fine when Sam was with us. However, we haven't talked to each other since our breakup.

I was sound asleep in the car when Dean and Sam got in. "Sam had a vision." Dean announced to me. I didn't hear him so he turns the volume all the way up, blasting the music out loud and it startled me awake.

"Huh?! Damn it, Dean, what!?" I snapped at him, rubbing my eyes.

"Like I said, Sam had a vision. We're going to the roadhouse." Dean says, cracking the car up.

"Jeez, thanks for the news flash." I said sarcastically and Sam looked at me.

"Why are you being so sarcastic tonight?" Sam asked, frowning at me as Dean started to drive along.

"Oh, I don't know, maybe because I was sound asleep and Dean blasted the damn music on!" I snapped back, pulling out my ear buds and pushing them in my ears. I turned on the iPod, listening to music and Sam turned around, knowing not to bother me.

Dean didn't tell Sam about the letter thankfully and the day after we broke up, I burned the letter. I should have burned the letter a long time ago but I didn't for some reason. It could be that I wanted to keep it and show it to the boys later in the future but it didn't work out since Dean discovered my secret.

As I listened to my music, I thought about everything that had happened in my life. Meeting the boys for the first time; discovering that Meg was a demon; my adoptive parents' death; meeting John; losing John; meeting Bobby and falling in love with Dean. Now we're no longer together, I had thought about staying with Ellen and Jo until I decide what to do with my life. I'm a hunter but for a long time, I have wanted a normal life. Just no more demons, ghosts, vampires, zombies in my life. I yearned for a normal life but I didn't do anything about it because I was with the boys. I was with Dean and I didn't want to leave Sam because he was like a brother to me. But now… I'm confused.

I had thought about calling Bobby last week and tell him what happened between us but I couldn't. I was ashamed. The look on Dean's face when he discovered the letter, I never want to see that again. It broke my heart. He broke my heart and I don't blame him. He was my first true love and will always be regardless.


The view of the roadhouse showed up as we arrived and I smiled. I waited until Sam got out of the car then I got out behind him. I put away my iPod and tucked it in my pockets.

Dean and Sam enter first, passing two men at a table cleaning weapons. I entered last and the two men with weapons nodded me, recognizing me from last time I worked here. I smiled at them and nodded back.

Dean almost runs into Jo, who stops, smiling. "Just can't stay away, huh?" I overheard Jo saying to Dean.

"Yeah, looks like. How you doin', Jo?"

"Where's Ash?" Sam says in a hurry to Jo. "In his back room." Sam brushed past her. "Great."

"And I'm fine…" Jo says to Sam as he walked away from her.

"Sorry, he's, we're… kind of on a bit of a timetable." Dean explained as I arrived at his side.

Jo smiled and hugs me. "Hey Emma."

"Hi." I smiled back and walked away to greet Ellen. We hugged tightly.

"It's been a long time since I saw you, Emma. How are you?" Ellen says, smiling at me.

I shrugged my shoulders. "Eh… could be better. I'll tell you later. I'm kinda messed up right now."

Ellen frowned then nodded. "Okay… well, you could help out cleaning up the place. I'm getting ready to close the place."

I nodded and took my jacket off. I took my old apron from Ellen and put it on. It was good to be back.


Ash is sitting at a table with his laptop open, looking at the hand-drawn sketch of the bus logo from Sam's vision. Sam sits across from him; Dean stands behind. I help Jo with the cleaning duties.

"Well, I got a match. It's the logo from the Blue Ridge bus lines in Guthrie, Oklahoma."

"Okay. Do me a favor-check Guthrie for any demonic signs, or omens, or anything like that." Sam asked and Ash looked at him strangely.

"You think the demon's there?"

"Yeah, maybe."

"Why would you think that?"

Dean got annoyed with Ash. "Just check it, all right?"

Ash gives him a look; Dean and Sam frown at each other.

"No, sir, nothing. No demon."

"All right, try something else for me. Search Guthrie for a house fire. It would be 1983; fire's origin would be a baby's nursery, night of the kid's six month birthday."

Ash looks at him, startled, and Dean looks around to check for eavesdroppers. Jo, cleaning a table nearby, is watching them.

"Okay, now that is just weird, man. Why the hell would I be looking for that?"

Sam pulls out a beer bottle and sets it next to the laptop.

"'Cause there's a PBR in it for ya."

"Give me fifteen minutes." I overheard Ash and chuckled at him quietly. Knowing Ash, he'll do anything for a beer.


Later

I wiped the tables down and put the chairs up on the tables. Jo winked at me and I smile gently.

"Hey, I'm going to put the music on, is that alright?"

I nodded.

Jo presses a few buttons on the jukebox and the opening chords to REO Speedwagon "Can't Fight This Feeling" play. Dean, sitting at the bar, looks horrified. Jo carries a tray to the bar and sets it down, catching his eye.

I can't fight this feeling any longer.

And yet I'm still afraid to let it flow.

What started out as a friendship

Has grown stronger

I only wish I had the strength to let it show.

I tell myself that I can't hold out forever.

I said there is no reason for my fear.

Cause I feel so secure when we're together.

You give my life direction,

You make everything clear…

"What?" Jo says, looking at Dean.

"REO Speedwagon?"

"Damn right REO. Kevin Cronin sings it from the heart."

"He sings it from the hair. There's a difference."

"That profile you've got Ash looking for?"

"Hmm."

"Your mom died the same way, didn't she? A fire in Sam's nursery?"

"Look, Jo, it's kind of a family thing."

"I could help." Jo says, leaning against the bar.

I watched them talking and sighed heavily. I missed talking to Dean.

"I'm sure you could. But we've got to handle this one ourselves. Besides, if I ran off with you I think your mother might kill me."

Ellen, cleaning glasses behind the bar, looks at him. He smiles nervously.

Jo chuckles softly. "You're afraid of my mother?"

"I think so."

Sam hurries up behind Jo. "We have a match. We've gotta go."

"All right, Jo. See you later. Emma?" Dean says as he looked at me.

I stood with the broom stick in my hands. "No, you guys can go without me. I'll be staying with them for a couple of days." I said, looking away from Dean.

Dean nodded. "Fine. Enjoy your time with them." He says coldly and walked out.

Ellen's eyebrows lifted in surprise. "What was that about?"


I sighed heavily and rubbed my face.

"God, it's been hell." I sat down at the bar and put my head down against the counter.

"What happened?" Jo asks, sitting down next to me.

I held my head up with my hands. "Dean and I broke up last week." I said quietly to them.

They were surprised. "What?" Ellen says in shock.

"Yeah… I need whiskey." I said, feeling my voice cracking and tears coming to my eyes.

Ellen quickly took the bottle out and pours whiskey in a glass then passes it on to me.

I drank it down quickly and sighed heavily as I could feel the burning in my throat.

"Okay, tell me everything from the beginning and how it ended." Ellen says, sitting down in front of me.

I told them from the beginning of how our relationship started and when I got to the end of the story, I was crying already.

"I'm so sorry, honey." Ellen says, rubbing my back. Jo did the same thing.

"I hate this," I sobbed into my hands. "I hate the pain and anger and hurt. I understand why he did it but he didn't even need to be so nasty to me. We haven't even talked to each other since the breakup and it's horrible. We pretend that everything is okay in front of Sam but it's not! Oh god… I hate him!" I sobbed again into my hands.

"Okay, I'm going to get you some more whiskey." Ellen says, standing up and walked around the bar.

"Emma, it's going to be okay. Yeah, breakups suck but you're the strongest girl that I have ever met and that's why I know you're going to be okay." Jo says, tucking in my loose strand behind my ear as I nodded.

"Ugh… I just hate this. I hate breaking down. I keep everything to myself only to have a meltdown on one day." I said, grabbing the glass and drank it down again.

"Yeah but it's not good for you, honey." Ellen says with concern.

"And Bobby doesn't know what happened yet. I wanted to call him last week but I was so ashamed. Oh god." I mumbled, covering my face.

Ash came up behind us. "Hey, is everything okay?"

"Uh, could you leave us alone for a moment? Emma is having a bad night." Ellen says and Ash nodded. "I'm going to my room now. Good night."

I put my head down on the counter. "I'm just so tired." I mumbled as I closed my eyes in exhaustion. I'm already drunk from all the whiskey I've been drinking.

"Sweetie, you can't sleep here." Ellen says, caressing the back of my head.

"I don't care." I slurred.

Ellen glances at Jo. "Emma, we're taking you upstairs. You need to sleep this off."

Jo takes my arm and Ellen did the same thing with my other arm and helped me to climb upstairs.

They put me on my bed, Ellen is taking off my boots. She covers me up with a blanket and kisses my head.

"Feel better soon, Emma." Jo whispers as they walked out.

I was sound asleep already.


I'm sorry for not updating lately, I have been busy with my classes and midterms so now it's over and I am back for now unless I get busy again.

Morgan Elizebeth Jacobs: Thanks for all the reviews, you have been wonderful! Yes, I agree, Emma should have burned the letter a long time ago but it's too late now. :(